₦airaland Forum

Pls go to hospital and explain to doctors what your issue is and they are in the best position to sort your out

I wont say take an enhancing drug at this stage, you are too young for it

What happens when you get to the old age where you may need it

Seat your wife down amd let her know how bad you feel about it and that you need her help emotionally to help you out

Go to hospital with her and let her partake

You may be surprise that nothing is wrong with you it just the mind paying games I your most needed point

Don't self medicate so that you don't do anything that will affect your counts

DanseMacabre:
No be brothel full everywhere again bro Use your head o.

What is a one minute man doing in a brothel ❓

You want him to go and disgrace himself further

Udoskybest:
I know this is a very wrong time to trouble y'all with my personal issues seeing we're all troubled by the persistent rise in figures of persons with or suspected to have contracted the novel Covid 19. But this issue is really of pressing concern to me and I'll appreciate your sincere contribution(s).

I love my girl so much and have gone extra miles for her. I'm in my mid 20s, comfortable but not rich. My girl is still a student in a nursing college and we reside in same state though she still stays with her parents...

She is too demanding and arrogant when there's a little delay in delivery of her never ending demand. Recently she demanded that I sub for her but my account was on red alert. I wanted to share her data from mine, MTN no gree. I explained to her and even sent her screenshot of the failed transaction only for her to call me by my name (which was unusual) and rained insults on me. I love her and wish to walk her down the aisle but I'm confused now.
What should I do??

That you love her doesn't mean you should start keeping her for marriage or start planning marriage with her

You are still young in your twenties and am sure you don't want your family to sponsor your wedding and still be feeding you

The Worst is that you can't satisfy her excessive demands

It's better you let her go unless you are ready to be working for her

Dicktion:
She left Lagos dark skinned and came back 3 months later a light skinned bae .. Ever since she came back she be acting kinda weird.. Ya it's weird to me cos she never stepped in my room before she traveled or should I say something has started going on in her head lately. She entered my room on Sunday. Think say na joke only for her to repeat same today. Her husband is not around tho. Bobo only comes once in a while and it's like he's been stuck in one of those south-south states precisely Port Harcourt cos of the lockdown.

She come ask me for food today before i go talk babe don enter kitchen. I just siddon and watched as she did her thing. For me i only saw a guest that wanted to entertain herself but the kinda questions she was asking, and the eye contact she was giving was profoundly unsettling. I had to fake a call and step outside. Only for her to call me back moments later.

Immediately I enter house babe come dey ask if na my girlfriend I talk to I lied that it's my bro and she was like I didn't sound like it was a guy I was talking to.. I just laugh comot face cos I was already getting irritated by her antics and didn't wanna give her vibes that'd dismantle her mood then.. She come say make I come her room later. She like I know it's been long her hubby's been around and it's always just her and their little boy and she'd want me to come around to keep her company if I'm free like I always am cos I hardly go out in this Covid-19 era.

I told her I will try. She come say she dey go market so I should be specific so she'd know what to buy when she gets there and if she will increase the quantity or not. But that'd depend on my answer. Fear catch me I just say yes
Now I don enter one chance

I'm thinking I should go there later and see what's gonna pop up as it may just be her tryna display her good side and nothing more....or I just let her bask alone in her solitude as usual.. Abi wetin una think

Stay away from trouble

It's the best you can do at this time

Respect yourself and don't step in to her room

Let her look else where and learn to lock your door from her

Next time, tell her you will be glad she stops coming to your apartment, block her form chats

But if you can't hold your self, fall for her and wait for what comes up

oluwatomisin93:
Good morning fellow nairalanders. Hope u all had a wonderful night rest. Permit me to write this down here as your advice is all I need at this moment.
Insult can also accompany it to some of you who think am foolish.
Yesterday my girlfriend chatted me up on WhatsApp as the conversation was going on she begged if she can ask me for something. I told her to go ahead. Then she said she need money. I was like OK. Like how much. She told me the amount. Then I was like how urgent do you need the money. She said either yesterday or today. In my small mind I was like it must be something urgent. As the conversation went on she now opened up on what she needed the money for. What baffled me was that she wants to buy her cream and make her hair. She was like if I could even add to the initial amount she requested she will be happy. I got angry and told her I don't have money.
My point now is I work in a private organization with no hope of getting salary this month due to the over 4 weeks lockdown. The truth is I do have the amount she requested for but I feel she is insensitive to what's happening around. did I do anything wrong.
Mature answers pls.

Normally, a lady is expected to look good and radiant irrespective of the situation in town

However, you can advise her to do hair that will last her for 3 months so that she won't get worried about loose hair or an unkept hair

Tell her you are suggesting thst because the after effects of the lockdown is already heating every where and every home

After that, you can send the initial amount she requested and keep an eye on her next request for hair do

funkmrflexx:
I’ve been dating This Girl For Close To six months . At first it was incessant calls from guys and different chats . I confronted her. But she accused of being insecure. That I didn’t trust her. This happens from time to time . So I told myself that I want talk to her about the issue or even check her phone for any reason

So if I was using her phone and a message From a guy popped up goodnight With baby and the likes of it . I didn’t open it. I even allowed her talked to guys on phone in my presence. I didn’t say a word . Until I caught her

I saw a text from a guy about the both of them meeting at his place for hookup(if a girl is not cheating why would you go to another guy’s place)

I didn’t even say anything. So I took two of her best friends phone number and started talking to them on WhatsApp. We we call from time to time and eventually I lashed the two girls on separate occasions . Then I told her about it and she started crying. I didn’t break up with her . I just told her the next time I catch her cheating that I would lash her elder sister. I just continued
with her but my mind is no longer in the relationship because apparently she got other options besides me.

A friend said I was wrong to do something like that . Was I wrong?

Honestly, you left the gentleman in you to the dogs that was why you acted like one

You see if you can't stand a cheat, let her go

If you had ended the relationship, it would have been better than doing what you did to hurt her and end up messing yourself up

Pls end that relationship because the worst will still happen from the both of you end

Free her and next time walk out of a cheating relationship than getting back

It hurts more when you walk out

samwash:
Good suggestion, but they are pple there with personal expirence, that's why I want them to share their personal expirence with me.

You can go for brand new LG freezer and make sure you buy it from their sole importer who are fouani
Google it

Eni333:
I sat down last night and thought about my life, there is nothing enjoyable in the marriage. And I don't want my sons to grow up and become wife beaters, he doesn't mind beating me in front of them. I can't wait for the lockdown to end, I am certainly leaving, I have had enough.

Sorry about that

Some men are just beast and when they treat the mother of their children like animals, it affects their progress in life

Just behave as if nothing happened and get your things set

If he comes back for you to return, he has to make a promise of changing his characters and attitudes toward you but don't be In a hurry to return back home and forget about what people will say

Only the living walks out alive

These your children are your major source of strength, don't lose hope

When you get something doing be focused and serious so that you don't get distracted

Women gets distracted easily because of the sweet mouth men have

The vehicles are In total lockdown

Rozz:
Married women in the house,how did you cope or how are you coping with your cheating husbands and still leaving with him,what is making you stay? or is cheating not enough reason to leave? when and if I get married,i don't think I will be able to stay with a cheating man(whats nature).I can't imagine my husband still coming close to me with the same body he's laying with other ladies,i will feel so dirty.I will marry a man of God so that I can have peace.

Men are prone to cheating, intensionally and unintentionally

You have to bear it if you don't you will hurt yourself the more

So far he is responsible at home

One day he will get tired and that's when you will have time for him

Take your research to those selling frozen foods

They are in the best position to tell you which freezer is OK for you

Oluwanifemiii:
I am into Graphics design and Digital marketing and I make an average of 100 to 200k from home monthly. So I decided it's time to start my life and get my own place which is where am confused. The first option is to move to ibadan and get a very quiet place which I have seen 1 apartment that I like for 260k total package and the major advantage there is that is a service apartment with 247 light which is the major thing I need for my career if am to focus on my working online from home. The other option is to move to Lagos to have a better opportunity of exploiting the offline part of my work and probably getting a job in my field. Now the major disadvantage of moving to ibadan is that what if work stop coming as usual there won't be anything to fall on unlike if I was in lagos that there are several offline jobs for me. The disadvantage of Lagos is that it's too crowded and one might loose focus and even if I get a job it might not be more than 100k out of which I will pay tfare. I don't know whether I should move to ibadan and focus on my online services and try to make my millions. Please advise is needed.

Please Lalasticlala help me move to frontpage please.

If you think you have a very good reason to be in Ibadan, then go ahead

But Lagos remains a better option

You can rent a self contain and get a generator

Wherever you want to stay is where you will set up your family

Think about that

Pheurly2:
Good evening,I'm a guy that posted that was sexually abused...and my parents are not helping me...no one is...i feel used , useless and worthless...i am depressed..i'm 20 ....i can't bear it any longer...i almost committed suicide...God saved me o... I've decided to leave home..i'm going far away..i play d piano..how wld i start up ,pls advice me..thank u..nairalanders....i'm tired of everything...help please..

What is really the problem

As a guy you were sexualy abused.

What else

You want to take your life

To where if I may ask

Tell us more about yourself and your relationship with your family

AdaNnabugo:
Thank you so much ma, I appreciate. ike agwugom

If at this stage one agwu go gi, where is your faith in God

Don't let your emotions slow you down

Go to God in prayers and see if you don't have a living God

Eni333:
I am really tired of my marriage, my husband rarely stay at home, he just comes back to sleep and take his bath. He leaves as early as 6 to 7am and comes back by 12 or 1 in the night. Even in this lockdown, I see other men spending time with their families but my husband would leave as early as 6am and come back late. Any time I complain he would beat me up, he barely keeps money for me and my 2 kids. My elder brother is the one sending me money for my upkeep. My mother is telling me to endure it would get better one day.
My husband even carry girls around, there is one bar near our street my husband takes his girlfriends there. He doesn't care about my feelings.
I am thinking of leaving after this lockdown, my elder brother is asking me to come back that he would start a business for me, I am tired of enduring.

Don't mind your mother, so many women have endured till they entered the grave

If you are very sure of your brother starting a business for you, its your choice to leave

Live is too shot for one beast to determine your happiness

BP drugs are very expensive so you can prevent it by moving out

BUSINESSMAN2:
I want to help my friend though I did not take his permission. He is not a Nairaland.

To cut the story short, his wife is pregnant and by now supposed to have delivered the baby based on the scan they did. The place she registered for antimatter has referred her to another hospital but the new hospital said they should pay 20k first. My friend has already paid money in the first hospital where he registered for antimatter and they refused to refund him.

This is the woman's first pregnancy and she is inexperienced. She is seriously in pain base on what my wife told me, because I am not in abuja now

My friend is a good man. A tailor by profession. He work in a fashion house but the office has closed down because of the lock down. I have help him I a little way I can.

What brought tears to my eyes was what happened 2 week ago. My wife told me they rushed the woman to the hospital, my friend hoping that the wife is going to deliver has already furnished the house even decorated the baby bed but unfortunately the baby did not come out. My friend really want to see the baby.

Pls help him. He need help. He need 20,000 only. He is not a begger. He is shameful type that will prefer to suffer than to beg for aim. If you indicate interest, I will send you the doctor's account number. Or if you want to go to the hospital I will direct you or help you collect the doctor's contact for direction.

I just want to supprise him and tell him that someone has pay for his wife hospital bill without revealing the source. I will only advise him to help another person when things get better. I think this will make the world a better place

Deal with it

lexy2014:
So u, u won't sleep abi? U will do watch night or u will go for witch meeting?

Your stupidity is taking another turn @ witch meeting

Am done with you

Beautykate:
I am writing to ask if you can help me to persuade my husband to do less around the house. I am worried that he is going to make himself ill from exhaustion. Also, and it is hard for me to say this to him without being hurtful, I married him for his fun personality not his work ethic and I fear I am losing him to domestic drudgery. I want an equal partner, not a slave.

We have a toddler and a baby, born few months ago. During the pregnancy, I was quite tired and run down and my darling, supportive husband started to do more and more around the house and with our son (and despite a full-time, responsible job, he has always done more than his fair share of housework). I am now breastfeeding the baby, which is tough because he barely stops feeding and won't really nap anywhere except in my arms.

So this leaves my husband doing the shopping, tidying, washing and cooking. He gets up at 6am every morning to get our toddler ready for nursery, with a packed lunch, and he drops him off before he can get himself off to work. Meanwhile, I just sit around feeding the baby!

I feel permanently guilty and as if the only way I will get my husband to do less is if I do more. The thing is that I can walk away from mess and he can't.

I hugely appreciate him helping, but, beyond the basics, would rather see him sleeping or even cuddling me on the sofa rather than trying to be on top of everything. I love my husband – he is truly the sweetest, most loving, most wonderful lover and father, but I find myself resenting the fact that I barely see his fun side these days because he is so tired that he is essentially ill – and I can't help thinking it is at least partly self-inflicted

Pray for him to learn how to take rest

You are dam lucky having a miracle like him

Hold him tight and treat him well

lexy2014:
What's my business with what u need or don't need. If u don't want anyone to respond to ur comments, then u have no business being on nairaland. Just stick with WhatsApp and sending emails. D question is this, is d information I shared with u accurate or not?

Go and sleep ❗❗

lexy2014:
What's your problem about mine?

You started picking on me and my comment first

Just pull out, I don't need it

lexy2014:
Read this& see how u wasted ur time.

https://www.nairaland.com/5823424/some-nairalanders-want-die-top#88970146

U didn't need to be a rocket scientist to figure it out. Yet u feel u have won d world cup by giving advice that wasn't needed

What's your problems about my comment ❓

Filomena:
there's this guy I met in school and there has been this connection between us.we have gradually become friends. i find myself staring at him most of the time and when he tries to catch me,I hide my face.ive also observed that he stares at me alot too and smiles and then says hey to me.we had a small talk in school too.
I didnt know he stayed in campus too so one night when I was going out to read,I saw him,like I couldn't believe it because I was hoping to see him again because I tot I was not going to see him again after they declared the two weeks strike,till it was called off.so I was really shocked and happy when I saw him,then he hugged me and hugged him too and held him tight.
so he then asked if this was my room and I told him yes,he told me he just escorted his friend that just finished cooking for him.i felt bad hearing that because I felt they had something more.so he then asked me which church I'd be attending the following day,I told him and he said okay..and told me good night.he didnt even ask for my phone number.i wonder why he didnt.
the other day he just saw me and didn't talk to me and i felt bad for that,so after that day I saw him and he was just busy staring at me and smiling and I wasnt really in the mood for that but I still stared back,he then told me hey and passed,he was with his friend and i greeted him too and passed.
so the last day i saw him,I was coming back from church and was hoping I'd see him again one last time before I travelled.lo and behold,I saw coming towards me with some of his friends.he then hugged me and we had a small chat.i was still hoping that he'd collect my number,still he didnt..
I dont know if he wants to have something with me or not.
since he's yet to ask for my number..
please guys I need your thought on this cuz I really want to go into a relationship with him..
I want to know if he likes me or bidding his time or just playing around.
thanks.

You must put your senses on at this stage

Both of you likes each other, calm down and watch how it goes

Don't rush at all at all

He can read you faster than you can read him

He wants to put you in suspense before declaration so that you don't say no

So be guided, I know you will not be happy if he does the heat and run on you

For that single reason, just respect yourself and behave well

realdickoflife:
So this has been a long time coming. I am basically asking for opinion mostly from the women folk.
I had this ex that we dated for about 2 years. We both live in the United States. We met in 2017 and started dating in 2018 February. It was love as we were head over heels in love with each other. She was younger than me by about 7 years and I was like a friend and confidant. We took each other seriously. During that time a few incidences occurred that shook our relationship. I will try my best to lay out the story and also underline my faults as I need an honest opinion on if I was right or wrong.

Late 2018 I caught her talking to an Ex and she confessed that her mother being a Jehovah witness told her specifically that she wanted her to marry a witness. We were living together and she apologized and said it was a moment of weakness. She had planned on moving out to live with him. A few months later she claimed she got a job that required her to move. We had a big fight and I forcefully got a check I had written in her name back telling her since she wanted to leave my house she was no longer entitled to my money. She left but we settled things 24 hours later.
We then decided to mend what we had. I kept working and helping her with bills. I tried ti make her a better person educationally but being the young 23 year old gal she was she was head strong. I particularly dont like confrontation and sometimes when we fight I just keep mum in the house or go play video games. Fast forward we had another big issue and I realized she was getting attention from some make folk that made ger act that way. We settled it and I decided to get her a gift. It was expensive almost $1300. Later in the year 2019 We got a new 2019 model vehicle for her. It almost cost me my job as I had to falsify some documents to ensure she was qualified for a Vehicle that was way above her means. Towards the middle of the year she decided to quit her job and come back to my place so we could move out together elsewhere. 2 days after she moved I woke to dress up for work about 5 an and realized her phone kept ringing so I picked it up and it was calls from a guy she always claimed was a friend. I saw the chat and all the plans to move in with him in another state. I confronted her after coming back from work and next thing she called the police and claimed her life was in danger. I explained what happened when the police came to my house and they then said I should let her move out. 3 weeks later I got a letter in the mail saying I was charged for assault. We went to court and both judges on separate occassions Told her I wasnt guilty and they felt her story was false. I involved her mother and the mother outrighlty supported her daughter. I reminded her I have always been there for her. 3 months into the relationship I had to go with her to the hospital has she started bleeding profusely and we realized she aborted for her ex before we started dating. She also claimed she has mood swings from a rape experience at 8 years old that made her go through vaginal repair. I knew all of this when I went into the relationship head first. Now my friends who told me in the start not to date a gal they saw as not being in the same class moneywise and societal wise based on status and experience mock me. Everyone I knew in my area and life knew about us. I had to take all my pictures down from my social media. Her defence was that I was too harsh on her when she had an accident. She had 2 accidents within the space of 7 months and a car I bought for my dad also she also hit it and I had to repair it before shipping to Nigeria. At that point I requested for a 60 day break from her to figure out her life as she kept making mistakes that were costly. She ran to that other guy who consoled her and then planned her exit. I pointed out to her that a man who knows you live with another man and tries to get you to move out and move in with him either has self esteem issues or has no plans for you. My question is where exactly did I go wrong? Lastly 2 weeks ago I called her mother on a whim and the mother picked my call and even spoke to me for 2 hours I was shocked, that told me she either was burnt where she went or it didnt work out. Do you think its okay for me to mend fences with her? I have moved on and I decided to take a break from dating, but the death of a recent family member just made me want to make up with any and everyone I had an issue with.

Hmmm, what a rough journey

Pls for your own good and the good of your life,

Let her be ams let her go

You may remain a miserable married man if you should continue

You are too good amd soft for her

Just let her go abeg

Avoid her as much as you can amd let her know that you have another relationship

She is not stable

She is not yet ready for marriage and with this her attitude you will remain her puppet

I can't say more
I hate this kind of thing

How could you be slaving with out appreciation or reward are you that weak

All this Jehova witness people, once you are not a witness, forget it

I don't know what they teaches them there

ZIMDRILL:
i was young when i got married (customary aka traditionally) i was 26 year in Africa thats normal, i then moved to UK left the wife home, it was hard financially to bring the wife and slowly we drifted apart and we separated

when i look back based on my personal journey to where i am now i was still young to marry at 30 would have been better and a bit wiser

Sorry about that

Marriage comes with lots of maturity and patience

The look inside is quite different from the look outside

But am very sure now that you already know how it will be going

lexy2014:
U have time to be writing long advise.

It's not meant for you because you are not the op

ProfDview1:
There is this lady I like so much, even my friends know that I like her so much and will love to spend the rest of my life with her.

One day, I saw her with my friend and I later asked her why she is so close to my friend. She said they are dating each other, that she cannot marry me simply because I am tailor.

My friend is a yahoo boy, he doesn't have any work. The only way he eats is via internet scam. To be honest I was so pained, moreover she is not the only lady to have done this to me. Have met several ladies that told me that they can't marry a tailor and they end up dating yahoo Boys for my street.

They always tell me to leave my tailoring job and go hustle like my frnds to make cool money.

Guys, I am tired.. Should I leave the tailoring job and join my friends to do the yahoo stuff?

Girls keep rejecting me up and down and I am fed up.

Pls advise me

It's better to do a legitimate job and end a kobo than scarming people, earn naira and go to jail when your coup is full

There is nothing wrong with being a fashion Designer, it a decent job

Probably the girls you do come across are the flashy ones

You can get the modest ones if you chaeyour taste

But I will rather advise you to save money and go back to school to upgrade yourself than to do Yahoo Yahoo

The moment you become shameful about your profession

That's the beginning of another big problem

Look for guest that can appreciate you and not what you do for living, if you start talking about marriage, you should know the grade of woman you want and don't go too far

The higher your taste for a woman, the higher you have to go to be above her standard

ZIMDRILL:
about what

You said you were once married, so what happened

ZIMDRILL:
i wont understand what, am 44 dear have been married before

So tell me more

ZIMDRILL:
i get your point but you got it twisted

our scenario is based on either death or divorce, what are the rights to women, who has a registered marriage, by law no one has right to the property except the living spouse in this case its the wife

this got nothing to do with respect whatsoever

Sure, no one have the right to claim a dead man's property so far he has a wife or rather has a family he left behind

ninety5:
Hi everyone, hope y'all safe. I am going to hit the road straight up.

My wife's sister, 24, visited us two days before the lockdown in Lagos and was hoping to travel in the next three days. Unfortunately for her, the lock down thwarted her plan.

Now, my wife, together with our 3 year old boy, always leaves the house during the day to go gossip with her friends, living only her sister and me at home.

The problem is, my wife's sister has been looking at me somehow, like she wants me to have sex with her. The other day she saw me and was smiling like I gifted her some money, like a fish. Yesterday, she wore a blouse that left her n.pples dangling back and forth as she walked around the house.

Guys please, I am in a dilemma. And, good god, the girl is finer and hotter than her sister, the gossip.

What do you want me to do?

No insult please.

You will definitely be insulted

For you to correctly say that your wife leaves your home for gossiping shows that you don't have a firm grip on your marriage

For you to even observe her sister and the game she is upto means you don't have value for your home

Well I don't want to blame you, probably somethings are not really right you can go ahead with whatever your mind tells you

After all you are capable

At this point, I will end this discussion pls

When you get married you will get the experience better but for now, you won't understand