₦airaland Forum

webizone:
Hi guys,
It's been awhile since I posted a new topic, but this hit me very close to the heart.
I am confused now. I need your help to get my clarity.
I met a girl I really liked and was contemplating the idea of marrying her. So one day I took her out on a date and told her that I would want us to move into an intimate friendship. Then, she asked me some questions and I did the same. When it got to educational qualifications, and I told her I don't have a masters she was visibly uncomfortable. She told me about it, and I asked why. She told me that she would even do her doctorate. She says that usually, guys who have lesser qualifications than their wives would feel intimidated and not let her get to achieve her dreams. I said I wouldn't be like that. Besides, I said, I have a sister who's very ambitious and an overachiever. But, she wasn't buying it. Then, I told her my story on how I didn't do a masters course.
My history goes like this:
Back in secondary school, I had a friend whose parents lived in the US. When we were about to graduate, he got sent a lot of offers from universities out there (probably courtesy of family). I asked and he gave two forms which I filled and enclosed an application letter. I got replied by both schools with encouraging remarks. Infact, I got scholarships into both schools that would be renewed annually depending on my results. All I had to do was to fill a dossier. But my family wouldn't let me go. They said I was too young to travel. All efforts I made to explain that the courses I would have taken can't be found here proved abortive. They were like if I left, I would want to remain there and not come back. And for the fact that I was the first child, I should stay here in Nigeria and grow, probably, after my first degree, I can travel for masters. So, I stayed. Jamb held me for 3 years and I did an Electronics and Computer Engineering course for 5 years, served and by the time I was through, I had become disillusioned about school and anything concerning chasing papers. I just wanted to settle down. That was back in 2012. Now I have my own business and I am running my own research (at my own pace, outside institutional pressure). The only thing missing is a life partner. So here we are. I have been trying to date different girls but I have never been so much in love with anyone other than her. I don't know what to do.

If you are done with further education, let her know and don't control her or get intimidated when she acquire more

Witcher:
This is bad... Fulani are nomadic, technically all the land belongs to them... Well if not the land at least the grasses.. he should expect payback if I'm in that town I will run away. Fulani are not like other black creatures they're special and they never forgive

What makes them special

Just because they have nit destroyed any of your family farm land that's why you are seeing them as special

Condemn them and let them settle where they originated from

babyfaceafrica:
When a man is happy and prospering, a woman is behind giving him the support he needs.



Very false

You are yet to get to that stage

datola:
I don't understand what Sanusi, a supposed brilliant economist was looking for by leaving as CBN governor to become Emir of Kano.

He should leave the traditionalists and politicians and go to a productive sector where his skills are highly sought.

Ganduje is mean sha and Buhari is always mute!

That stool is a powerful stool amd he is the only educated man and a graduate that is occupying that stool

They will sort themselves out

donbachi:
Who told you?adam was doing just untill eve came.

Do you want to be the Adam?

Whyzaid:
I was in a women's� conference where one of the invited guest told us her story. That when she was born and it was discovered by her father's family that it's a baby girl, they came not to celebrate with her family but to ask the father why he decided not to have a male child. So giving birth to her wasn't a thing of joy because she came when the family was expecting a male child. But now, her father always tell her that he's grateful to God that she came as a female child because she has been a huge blessing to the family. Later I was thinking on this her story and I realized that

A woman is somebody that can become something

A woman is tender but should not be taken advantaged of

A woman suppose not to be deprived of a quality education

A woman must know that she's wonderfully, marvelously and specially created

A woman should understand her beauty and cherish it

A woman must understand her uniqueness and take good advantage of it

A woman must not allow the society to intimidate her

A woman must know that she's a good determinant of a meaningful society

A woman should not be scared of saying NO to any form of abuse

A woman is a weapon that should be used to shapen our society
And it's obvious that there's no complete society without a woman

Women remains important to the society and men all over the world

They seems to be looked as weaker sex but I tell you, they are the strongest God created

When a man is happy and propering, a woman is behind giving him the support he needs

When a man is sad and frustrated, a woman is behind him pulling making sure he gets down, but cases like this occurs where a man maltreats a woman

Even in the family, women or rather daughters remembers their parents need more than sons

They go extra with much commitment to see her parents living happily

Train your daughters and they will be your insurance for life

Men or boys gets carried away by fun and lifestyle, yet they still play relevant roles but them, women are super

babyfaceafrica:
read your Bible ma'am.. The guy has a point... Adam was doing fine before eve came

Adams was doing fine before eve came, as you said.

So what happened when eve came ❓

He forgot his senses after making love to eve and you are still arguing the power of a woman

Don't under estimates women

E bi like say them never do you something

donbachi:
Who told you?adam was doing just untill eve came.

Do you want to be the Adam?

Whyzaid:
I was in a women's� conference where one of the invited guest told us her story. That when she was born and it was discovered by her father's family that it's a baby girl, they came not to celebrate with her family but to ask the father why he decided not to have a male child. So giving birth to her wasn't a thing of joy because she came when the family was expecting a male child. But now, her father always tell her that he's grateful to God that she came as a female child because she has been a huge blessing to the family. Later I was thinking on this her story and I realized that

A woman is somebody that can become something

A woman is tender but should not be taken advantaged of

A woman suppose not to be deprived of a quality education

A woman must know that she's wonderfully, marvelously and specially created

A woman should understand her beauty and cherish it

A woman must understand her uniqueness and take good advantage of it

A woman must not allow the society to intimidate her

A woman must know that she's a good determinant of a meaningful society

A woman should not be scared of saying NO to any form of abuse

A woman is a weapon that should be used to shapen our society
And it's obvious that there's no complete society without a woman

Women remains important to the society and men all over the world

They seems to be looked as weaker sex but I tell you, they are the strongest God created

When a man is happy and propering, a woman is behind giving him the support he needs

When a man is sad and frustrated, a woman is behind him pulling making sure he gets down, but cases like this occurs where a man maltreats a woman

Even in the family, women or rather daughters remembers their parents need more than sons

They go extra with much commitment to see her parents living happily

Train your daughters and they will be your insurance for life

Men or boys gets carried away by fun and lifestyle, yet they still play relevant roles but them, women are super

donbachi:
Who told you?adam was doing just untill eve came.

Do you want to be the Adam?

LawBreaker:
I impregnanted this girl but I don't want to marry her. I am interested in the child. She is yet to deliver. I talked to the family that I need my child, but they refused and said I won't have him as I didn't pay her bride price.

Now I want to go to court. Am thinking if I will win the case. I don't want to spend my money and after every thing I won't win the case.

You can't eat your cake and have it

If she is sweat for friendship then she is good for marriage

Look, just leave her alone pls because she will never ever give that child to you

It's either you marry her or she becomes your baby mama with no intentions of marriage

No woman will drop her child an infant for any man that pregnants her, its very difficult to do

Just take it cool and train your child while in her custody

If you take it to court, you won't get the child for whatever reason you may want to tender

Truthshurts:
Continued from the part 1


https://www.nairaland.com/5711231/should-keep-secret

Morning all
Hope u are all enjoying your March 2020
I have a new one
Someone chat me up privately asking if he should keep shut or talk.

Copied with permission

Sir please I want your advise on this story
I was with a girl back then in school and we used to run things together. We aren’t dating but I was her gate way to anyone who wanted her.
During that time we used to share whatever profit she made from sleeping out with men cause I used to cover for her in school and do most test and make up classes for her. My problem now is all the time we were together condom wasn’t much appreciated at that time so she got pregnant for her suitors and she will abort the pregnancy.
She did this like 12 times cause I used to Followed her to the place pretending to be the owner and when it done on me at the 12 time, I told her am not interested any more and that was how our friendship and runs mode got broken.
So many years I didn’t see her again cause we passed out of Unilag and we both went our ways.
Until last year December when our family was having our thanksgiving then I saw her with one of my uncle that cane to Nigeria From UK introducing her as his fiancé. I was shocked, I greeted her but she ignored as if we never met in this life before.
I had to start looking for her name and photos on the social media to be sure she was the one or not after the party.
I couldn’t fund anything until this valentine she posted on my uncles wall then I was able to get her new name and new identity. I messaged her why is she pretending to be who she is not. She told me she ignored me cause that girl I knew then was gone and the new girl now doesn’t know anyone but her husband to be which happened to be my uncle.
Sir, am still shocked....should I let the cat out of the bag orI keep my mouth shut.
Please help cause I don’t know what to do and am confused.
Thank you
Expecting your reply.

Just simply respect your self

You were an accomplice to the rough life she lived

You benefited from the dirty life because of selfishness yet you think you want her to recognise you

Let the matter never ever come out from your mouth because she will claim you put her through that and her family will force her on you or go after your life

Most problem we have in this world are cause by our inability to close our mouth from saying what the eyes saw

SaAyomikun:
Help me! I am scared. I Need Help Identifying this!

Friends, I woke up some minutes past 1:00 AM this midnight to ease myself, then, with the help of the faint light emanating from the next room, I noticed something crawling beside me on the bed. I flashed my touch and boom! Look what I found. I then picked up my broom smashed it.

Please, who knows what this is?
From its look, it looks harmful, is it truly harmful?
How can I prevent it?

It crawls very fast like a snake does.
PS: this is the second time I'd be killing such in my room, I just didn't take it seriously the first time.

Please, help me! I'm really scared. I can't even lay on that bed anymore. Friends, I woke up some minutes past 1:00 AM this midnight to ease myself, then, with the help of the faint light emanating from the next room, I noticed something crawling beside me on the bed. I flashed my touch and boom! Look what I found. Out of timidity, I picked up my broom smashed it a few times before I swept it outside.
Please, who knows what this is?
From its look, it looks harmful, is it truly harmful?
How can I prevent it?

PS: It crawls very fast like a snake does.

PS: this is the second time I'd be killing such in my room, I just didn't take it seriously the first time.

Please, help me! I'm really scared. I can't even lay on that bed anymore.

It came through the bathroom hole

Check your bathroom outlet

lilprinze:
Three months later after the visit Abacha died.

Because he warned him to release Abiol and he was stubborn about it

Winneygirl:
You assumed the Op is female.
It is the man asking o.
Does your advice still stand?

Ahhh, if a man is the one asking this question, am disappointed in him

Would he ask same for his biological mother

Except anyway where the woman hates him

But real men focuses on more important things than being bothered about the presence of his mother inlaw

Sunofgod:
Lack of trained medical staff...... i suspect he swallowed his tongue?

Be serious with matters like this stop showing yourself, there is no need

2Women:
I have not had sex with any of them, and I don't intend to till I marry.

I don't know how to get her to understand me without hurting her, I've tried to say it countless times that I have to put so much in place before marriage and she is saying she won't be a dumb wife and we will contribute to the upkeep of the family and children can come later, bla bla bla

Well all I have to say is that, every woman is smart

Just use your brain, that's all

2Women:
Please pardon any typo's or errors in this, I am a 23 year old guy, and I have been in a relationship with this very beautiful 20 year old multiracial girl for a year plus now, she loves me dearly and never fails to show it, she has consistently discarded suitors off just for my sake, she never lacks them, she is very preety and light skinned, so she doesn't fail to turn heads wherever she goes, she loves God, but not the overly holy person, she is still a virgin and for that, I have refused to have any intimacy with her, she just go admitted to one of the universities in the south west, we are in the same state so I go to visit her twice monthly, since she went to school, her attitude has not changed 1 bit, in fact, she is even more disturbing and demanding for my attention now than before, she sends me chats of random guys that tries to ask her out, and sometimes even records the conversations and send to me, I trust her fully and don't believe she will cheat, at least not now, but i have this constant fear that I will loose her cos a similar scenario occurred to me 2 times before and the ladies lost focus and broke off the relationship, but I'm just hoping this can work.

Now, the problem, I met this lady who will be 28 soon, she is my junior in an organization, we got real close as she shared her story with me, and I wanted to sincerely advise her as a superior and someone with more experience in our field, but one thing led to another and she fell deeply in love with me, I knew, but feigned ignorance at first cos I didn't want any distractions to my 1 year old relationship, until she came out straight, deep down i felt something for her too, but i tried discarding it due to the age difference, but i couldn't keep it for long, I didn't tell her but we found ourselves kissing on various occasions, this lady is a virgin and has never been in any serious relationship cos she asks God if the suitors comes and she most times feels God is saying no, but this time, she is convinced that God approves of me.

Yesterday, I officially told her I love her and she has told everyone who cares to hear, her pastors, her family, every body, she has asked them to pray for her and all, this lady is a wife material, so is my girlfriend, this lady is beautiful but not half as pretty as my girlfriend, she is a bit more curvy and endowed than my girlfriend tho, attitude wise, both of them are just perfect (at least for now), supportive and understanding.

I am not very rich, but I'm not very poor either, I hold a job that requires me to work 26 hours monthly and it pays me just above 50k, I also am a freelancer on freelancing sites and i earn more than my salary in some months, with the potential for even more In future, in spite of this, I don't think it is enough to start a family, secondly, I have never envisage myself getting married this early, in fact, I always say I have at least 4-5 years to go, but this lady has imagined our wedding and even picked a date for next year, I feel she is going too fast, and I told her but she says she doesn't do things when double minded, I love these 2 ladies, but I am just not ready to settle down, I am still too young for that, plus, she is older than me with 5 good years, and considering the fact that ladies age quickly, I don't think i want that as it will force me to cheat, which I don't ever want to do in marriage, please is it advisable to marry this lady? She is a graduate with a masters in an Asian university, or take things slow and try to plan with my girlfriend who is as well supportive and doesn't mind starting small.

Please advise me house.

Lalasticlala

A food you will not eat don't taste it

If you know that the age difference which is the issue here, is causing some thing to you, pls leave that your colleague alone before she becomes pregnant for you

Just respect yourself by thinking of how the other lady in school will cope over your disappointment in her

You can't be keeping a virgin girlfriend and decides to break another virgin and still go back to your virgin girl

If you have not slept with her pls sit her down and let her know that you love her but marriage is not going to work out between both of you

It's difficult to say, but it's the best at this moment

Primenet:
Hello good people,
I have a serious issue that is bothering me. I need your help please.

The issue without wasting time has to do with my mother in law who constantly passes the night in our home.

She have her own rented apartment in the same neighborhood but prefer to pass the night in our home.

Is this good? How do I put a stop to this?
Your opinion is highly appreciated in advance.

Pls don't be offended

What's wrong with your mother inlaw passing night with you guys

Is it that you hate her or you don't want to see her sleeping in your home

That woman, no matter how bad she is, is capable of saving your marriage or putting your marriage in a scale of spoiling it depends on your relationship with her

If you have children, let her watch over them while you go to work

Assuming you are at her age and your daughter inlaw is acting the same way with you, would you be happy about it

Have you ever imagined, how loneliness makes her to look for a home to be warm with and her son's home remains her home forever

Assuming she sleeps on your husband bed of which she won't do it, it's a different thing

Pls change your mind set towards her and give her a warm embrace in your home

Accommodate her and utilise her

If you claim you love your husband, love her too and you will appreciate her and be happy

phlamesG:
My name is Martin (not real name), I graduated from the university in the year 2009, that’s some 10 years ago. I’m an introvert, like the worst kind you can ever think of. I think this has also contributed to majority of my problems.

At 35, one would think that I’d have a nice paying job, nice little house with wife and beautiful kids, but the rude awakening is that I still live with my parents, I have two younger siblings, the youngest just got a job with a multinational company, somewhere in VI, while the other one is a medical doctor based in the states.

My parents, most especially my father don’t miss the opportunity to remind me of what a failure I am or I have become. He once threatened to send me out of his house, if I don’t sit up and lead by example. My mum at the initial stage used to encourage me and give me words of advice, but recently she told me that she has lost her patience, that I’m trying to sow the seed of stagnation and regression in our family.

I know you all would be wondering how I got here, but from a very young age, I’ve always been known to be brilliant and academic inclined, the funny part is that I graduated with a first class(most people, especially my immediate family seems to have forgotten) from one of the top federal universities in the country, where I studied architecture.

Like I said previously, I have poor social skills, I tend to bottle up my emotions instead of opening up to people, I’ve never had a girlfriend, not because I’m not good looking but because I can’t summon the courage to approach a lady. People say I’m timid and scared to face the world.

I had a job once immediately after I finished school at a construction firm, I worked there for two good years and I saved every penny I earned, hoping to invest in real estate, but I was swindled by some persons who claimed the sold landed properties, that was close to N8 million. All my life’s savings gone, I took a huge amount of loan from my company, when I couldn’t pay back I was sacked and humiliated.

Well ever since, all my efforts at getting another job has proven futile, it’s like there’s a spiritual force that is holding me back, infact I’ve lost all hope there is, my situation has deteriorated into extreme depression as I type this, suicide thoughts keep flooding into my head, I need help please, I’d be reading the comments below, please no negative comment, like I said I’m a very emotional person.

Zubelu.com
https://zubelu.com/blog/im-35-years-old-and-i-already-feel-like-a-failure-in-life/

Nothing spiritual is wrong with you,

You lost a whole 8 million and that was the beginning of your depression couple with your introvert life

Beg God to lift you up ams and
He will do it for you

Don't give up because the satan is not resting

You can discuss with your brothers and entire family how you want them to assist you

You will rise again but stop staying indoors and lonely that's when stupid thoughts comes to mind

The mistake was allowing her to fetch water or do any domestic work for him

And the parents are aware

GreatResearcher:
I am, I don't know if to use the word MEEK or WEAK.
I am someone who doesn't know how to say NO to request especialy if I can grant such request.
People (men & women) take advantage of this to get thing from me. Mostly they borrow money from me. While some refund (though not on the time they promise to refund) most of them don't refund.
I don't know what kind of human I am. I find it hard to call people and tell them to refund my money. Sometime I will think they've forgotten. It will take me some guts to ask them. Some I will let it go.
Last year my ex borrowed money from me and refused to refund. The annoying part is that when I call she ignore my calls.
We had agreement that by Jan she should pay off. She sent me text to insult me telling me not to disturb her life that even govt owe debt.
I am confused and shock at how people can be wicked.

I need advice on how to say no to people coming for help. How to be harden and not pity people.
Sometimes I will off my phone to avoid people calling for help but it affects my business.
5 of my military friends owe me money since last year. We chat almost everyday and none has even talk of the money and I can't ask.
I hate telling people to do what they already know they should do.
I need advice.

Those borrowing money from you are nit btbe problem

You are the real problem

Stop �, I mean stop giving out money that you won't over look

You don't have responsibilities that's why they are borrowing from you

Start now to tell them how hard things are for you, if you can't do that be ready to give without expecting it back

The moment you fall in your carrier, none of them will ever ever help you

darling4real1:
My fellow ladies see what i am seeing ooo
Please Help,
My Sister Is About To Ruin My Marriage With Our Dirty Secrets.
Here is this story,
I’m in a big dilemma with my kid sister , I don’t want to bore you with long story I will make the long story short.
I got married in May 2000 I was pregnant with my first child, I had my first child in September that same year then another daughter in 2002 May and in July 2002 my husband left for abroad.
I had to move out of the renting apartment and went back to my parents house with my 2 kids while waiting for him to process our documents so that we can join him. It took him 2 years to settle and for 2 year he couldn’t send us money because he had no documents and job.
My parents were supportive until when my husband got his documents and started working. He started sending us money every month and was working hard for me and the kids to join him but things were not working well for us as they kept rejecting us but he didn’t get tired of us.
I started getting tired after 5 years of waiting, missing him badly, no intimacy and I was lonely and very depressed. I start seeking attention outside and I met with a married man that I had a relationship with.
I got pregnant in 2008, the man suggested abortion but I didn’t want to abort because I was scared to die because I remember a cousin that had a husband abroad, she got pregnant, went to abort and she died instantly, so I didn’t want to end up like her.
I had planned with my sister and mum that I should leave our state to another state to go and have my baby then will come back after the baby is 3 months. I and my kid sister left and rented another house in a different state meanwhile we lied to my dad that I had traveled to join my husband in abroad.
Things went well , I had my baby, another girl in 2009 and we kept the secret for 3 months from my dad and we had to lie to him that it was my kid sister that had given birth to this baby while we were away and my dad got angry at her and he has said a lot of harsh things to her.
It was very painful but my sister supported me and didn’t let the secret come out, even to my husband, he just knew the baby was my sisters. Because I was breastfeeding her, we didn’t want to go home yet so we had to stayed here for a year.
When I weaned her, we started preparing to go back home, lied again to my dad that things didn’t work out and I couldn’t join my husband anymore. We returned back home in 2010 and we had been keeping this secrets from my dad, husband and other people.
Finally, God has been great that I had to joined my husband in 2013 after 11 years of waiting. It was a wonderful time to be with him again.
My kid sister got married in 2014, she had a daughter with her husband before marriage born in 2012, so the husband accepted her with my daughter that she pretend to be hers. She went to her husband house, leaving my kids with our parents, she only took the daughter she had with her husband and I used to send them money as usual until in 2015 my 2 daughters I had with my husband joined us abroad and my other daughter stayed behind.
I had to convinced my husband that my sister baby should join us too which he was okay with and grateful to my sister because she had been the one taking care of our children in my absence. So we started applying for documents for the girl, but they kept rejecting it but we didn’t give up.
At that same time, my sister has also wanted her biological daughter to be included in but I was frank with her that we couldn’t add her daughter because the daughter that I had is known to be hers so if we had another daughter it would be wrong. So this has caused a lot of problems between my sister and I, that she called me an ingrate after everything she has been doing for me but I was never ungrateful to her because I take care of her daughter school fees in a very good private school but I just couldn’t take her abroad with us but she is adamant that her daughter should be here too.
Fortunately, my daughter which to my husband is my niece, joined us this january 2020. She knows me as her auntie and my sister her mummy. She is doing well, my family is complete, I have also had 2 more children with my husband. Two cute boys but my sister has been threatening and blackmailing that she would tell my husband everything about my daughter.
I had begged, even our mum has been begging her not to spoil my marriage but she wouldn’t listen. I’m scared she would tell my husband and my marriage will be over. I don’t sleep well and anytime when my husband get back from work, my heart beat faster thinking that he has found out about the secrets and I’m no longer in peace.
He loves my niece (daughter) so much that he doesn’t treat her any different from our 4 children but I’m getting so scared, have been taking blood pressure medication because of my sister threatening me.
Please I know a lot of you would insult me because I deserve it but all I need is advice from you.
Please if you could offer me some because I just don’t know what else to do...

This is a difficult nut to crack but inform your husband about it and ask him to find forgiveness in you

It's a difficult word to tell him but better than him getting it elsewhere

Meanwhile, call your parents and tell them the truth before telling your husband

Thank God is a baby girl

Your husband will run berserk but with time, he will fix himself

If after all he forgives you, stop relating with your sister, cut it off entirely

If she tells you she will tell your husband tell her to go ahead thst you already told him

That will show you that she is not trust worthy

Besides, it's better for your husband to know and hear from you rather than getting the news from your sister

darling4real1:
Saw this in a group and decided to share it oh, when I thought I have seen it all, women have really suffered in this marriage journey �������‍♂️����������������

Sister please help me and post this and don't tell them my name. Thanks

I don't know if my husband is mad or have spiritual problem.
But the doctor and a psychologist we met said that he is suffering from Sadism. And we have been going for counseling but yet no positive result.

It all started when we are dating, we don't normally have sex. He always tell me that he don't want to rush anything or offend his maker by involving into premarital sex. We dated for 2 years without sex only kissing, hugging and sleeping on you of each other.
Immediately we married, we a quick sex which resulted to my first son. He even wrote sex time table and pasted it in our room. Anytime am horney and demanded for sex, he will tell me that he is in prayer week or we will have a short quicky. I got use of the quicky. Last 7 months, he called in the mid night and told me that he has no enjoyed sex as a married man, we talk about it and I promised him to do my best that I don't enjoy it too. We agreed to enhance our sexual life. Three days later, he came home with a gift which led to a hot romance I have never witnessed before since our 3 years of marriage which led to a rough sex, I mean during the sex, he was beating me and hitting me with any thing he placed his hand on. Moaning while I was crying and trying to escape. Our plastic jug I place beside our bed was smashed on my head, he even used his belt, whipping me like a thief and moaning till he cum. He pleased to me and told me that he enjoyed it. He told me to hospital and they gave me some pain killer. Later he explained it is the only way he enjoys sex. That if he didn't see me in pain or bleeding, he won't enjoy it.
That incident alone got me afraid. I started avoiding him in bed. I later found out that am pregnant and the nurses told me that I need to be having sex with my husband now.
I told him that and he was very happy.
That night we had another rough sex which lead to another injuries.he later bought a chain and a key for me to use and chain him if he turns wild but it didn't work. I talked to a friend and she directed us to a psychologist and a doctor, he was given drugs and started counseling.
As am talking to you now, we had sex two days ago, he nearly killed me with harmer, he didn't even remember that I was pregnant, he raised me up and hit on our drawer. He smashed our standing mirror on my bum bum. It was our neighbors that rescued me when they heard my crying and noise that was coming from from our room. I didn't even know when I was rushed to hospital because I fainted because he hit my head on our wooden bed. Thank God for my neighbor who came for my rescue because I wouldn't have come out a life till he cum because according to doctor he said that I have small brain injury and my baby is not in good condition.. My mum and my elder brother is in the hospital now. They said that he won't marry me again.
Sister, I love this man and he loves me too. Leaving him in this kind of problem will it help him?
Will I be able to abandon my first child there and go?
He has been pleading to see me and pay the hospital bill or even know the condition of my wounds but my brother refused. Please I need help.

If you want to die quickly stay with him

Why handing over to police when you can do the same to him

Sebastine1994:
I am 30 , I feel shy inside whenever I have to call my father dad in front of my peers. I feel I should call him something else like nnanyi in Igbo or papa. But he doesn't want to be called papa.he said the name makes him feel old.
That is why I brought it to you my fellow Brothers suggest something to me please.


When I was a kid it was easier to call him daddy but now it seems kind of odd when I mentioned that in a public space

This is weird, just go to him and ask him what name he wants you to be calling him apart from daddy

But that word daddy remains the best

Marriage is not for unprepared people

It takes discipline to avoid being tempted with money

Do they expect a talkative to be remorseful or keep silent

Romanoff:
There is a sudden increase in sex crimes. What could be the reason?

Bad habits
Hard drugs
Lack of self control
Idleness
Laziness
Stupidity

Mimiey:
Hello Nairalanders.

He rough handled me on my first visit to his house, claims to want a serious relationship. Can he really be serious about being serious or he is just a play boy?

So I met this guy about two weeks ago close to my street. He calls but I hardly pick. Eventually, I picked and he asked if he could pick me after work and we hangout. I accepted. He picked me up after work last week Friday. He was quite interesting and funny, he talked freely like he had known me for years but he was really so touchy, I had barely spent 5 minutes in the car and he was already touching my shoulder and even when we were inside the bar, he tried tickling me, at a point, he put his hands close to my waist, I removed it. We both discussed if we had someone we are currently seeing, I am not seeing anyone which is the truth, he said there is an Ex but they just have sex and she has her own relationship. When he was dropping me off, he asked for a close hug, I hugged him and he wanted to pull me closer and kiss. I broke free and got down. He said I am not nice.

Well, we met again on Monday, I took just water intentionally. This time I minded the distance between us. He wanted to see again on Tuesday, I declined. Then at work yesterday, he asked to see after closing. I told him he can come briefly to my work and we can talk a bit in the car and part ways. He said he would like to host me at his house instead, I declined.

Anyway, he came, I got in and he started driving and saying, I will know his house today and besides his phone battery his low. My mood changed immediately and he tried to guilt trip me and said okay should we stop on the road and get a place to charge his phone. I then told him to continue driving to his house. He stopped on the way and got snacks. We got into his house. It was nice and neat.

Then we were watching a movie, he sat down and placed my leg on his, I was cool with this. Then he made moves to kiss and I declined and pulled away. All of a sudden, he started breathing fast, hugged me so tight and kissed me despite I kept pulling away and didn't kiss back. I am weak when it comes to my Bosom, then he got there and gave me the roughest and painful squeezing I have ever experienced. I haven't been with any man in about 7 months now, I am single and It's hard for me to do a little thing as even kissing randomly. So he got me there when he got to my bosom but it took only just few seconds to snap out. He continued panting and begging for me to reciprocate, he is so hard and hasn't felt this way in a while.

I told him I don't want this, he went in frustrated, stamping his feet, I tot he had agreed, only for him to come back naked and saying okay, he has heard no sex and "I don't want to force you", so he asked for a dry hump and wanted me to turn my back. I didn't. He still kept breathing hard, like he wont survive the next minute. Then he started begging for a Mouth Action. I declined and told him I wasn't up for that. I tried pulling, away and getting angry. He became even more aggressive, removed the hands I used to protect my chest and forced his way into my bra. It was a struggle and then back to begging till I made it clear in a thunder voice for him to stop and take me home.

Then he agreed, wore his cloths and kept complaining that I don't know what I have caused and he wont be himself. We left his house and he tried stopping at a Pharmacist and said he needs to get ibuprofen, then he didn't stop again and just continued driving.

This morning, he is apologizing and repeating the things he said when we got to his house that he wants something serious with me and he wants us to start something and want it to work out. He asked to come see me at work today but I declined. With this red flags, is there a possibility that he is truly serious like he said? Or he is just doing the usual lies to get the cookie and go away. He has a nice ride and nice house, I suspect he may have girls around him. My concern isn't all these, I just want to be with a serious man who is in for commitment and not just sex.

He rough handled me on my first visit to his house, can he be sincere about wanting to be serious?

A nice car and a nice apartment

You think he is still single

All he wants from you is sex nothing else and it's a sex without benefits

Just let him go before you come here with a more painful story

Ineedtoheal:
Hi Famlanders, Please I need your advice. I beg you all to save a sister. I have to bring this here coz I know it's where I will get wonderful contributions. Again, I am using this new account coz I have friends and customers here. I don't want to blow my cover. Please this is real and not fiction. This will be quite lengthy, please bear with me.

I met this guy in 2013 when I was in year one. It was not a steady relationship coz we barely call nor see so I didn't take him serious. And whenever we see, it was always at one friends house or another. I accused him of being married but he vehemently denied it. Later on I figured out he had accommodation issue after he lost his job. He later rented a house when he got another job with one of our prestigious federal universities here in Nigeria and that was when things became serious (kinda).

We became very serious around 2016 that is why I count it as 5 years instead of 7. But then during one of my visits, I was sleeping in the room when I overheard him talking to someone but the only thing that caught my attention was when he said "I don't even have a girlfriend". Though I didn't confront him, but I thought about it deeply.

Two nights ago, I had a dream where he was getting married to another lady. I was crying while he was still saying he loves me but can't marry me. I confronted him yesterday, he said I am pressurizing him to marry me that was after he first asked what will happen if we don't end up together. He hasn't told me where the relationship is leading to after 5 years. We have been living for the moment. Just for the moment!

Few info about the relationship
1) He will be 40 this November while I am 27.
2. He has always had numerous girlfriends that when he's with them, he doesn't pick my calls though he always apologizes and he's trying his best this year.

3. He always send pictures of other women to his friends to let them know they are the people he wish to marry but never has he sent mine. Though he claims he's not doing it again.

4. From the look of things he's still searching while he wants to have me all to himself. Maybe a second option since the others are not accepting him and I love him foolishly.

5. The relationship is 50 -50 .We spend on each other. He believes it's the woman's duty to do all the house chores but not the man's duty to take care of the woman.

6. On his Fathers burial last year, 3 of his girlfriends came (me inclusive) and we all wore the burial uniform. Together, we served his guests even when we realized we are dating same man. His neighbors were giggling and gossiping but we all decided to be matured and work together.

7. When my sister that raised me died, he didn't come for the burial. his reason was he had supervision that day in school,same person that calls his colleague to cover for him during exam supervision so he could do other things. He also didn't send me any money but he questioned me for not giving him any money for his Father's burial. Even when I paid him excess for the burial uniform. I know why I did that. Mind you, he has asked me before if he can give one of his ex 10k during her Father's burial which I agreed and he sent her the money.

8. I have rejected some suitors who were willing to marry me coz of him. Though he has never encouraged me to accept any of them. In fact he gets angry hearing that another man is coming close to me.

9. He doesn't call often, I do more of the calling though he always return my calls. He can stay for days without calling unless I call. I know I have been the one holding the relationship coz I thought he will change.

10. Sine 2017 till last year, all I did was forgive him coz I love him. He keeps bringing new / different ladies into the picture. I have gone through a lot of emotional stress. He keeps asking me to stay that he loves me but he's confused.

His good side: He's understanding, motivates me to do my best, he doesn't hit me, he is gentle.

Me on the other hand is sometimes stubborn though very faithful coz I love him to a fault. I easily get angry but forgives easily. When I'm angry I talk so much but I don't abuse him. He is simply the cause of all my anger. He always say I am very understanding, a good girl, drama free but yet he doesn't want to marry me and won't let me go too. I have never involved a third party in our relationship except my late sister who said she wish I will walk away from the relationship because I love the guy more, that it won't end well. All my friends thinks I have a perfect relationship because I don't discuss him with them.

Back to last night, I told him I won't call him again coz he said I am pressurizing him to marry me. The truth is I have seen the hand writing on the wall, not today but two years ago but I keep going back. Please I need advice on how not to go back again. The love he proclaims for me is not enough for him to marry. I have wasted enough time already. Maybe hearing the raw truth here will help.

My dear sister, that guy is not yet ready to settle down in the next three years

At fourty he is yet to get settled, what makes you think he us going to be a good husband

My advice is start withdrawing and don't let him keep you back with any apology for delaying you

He knows you love him more and when a woman loves more, the man doesn't have anything to push him to go ahead but when he loves you more, it becomes a motivating factor

Just walk away before the real heart break will come

He made a careless statement honestly and may be jailed for such because its assumed he is a pedophile