₦airaland Forum

lalopeto:
Good morning nairalanders. Please how do you see a situation where a wife that supposed to have changed her name to that of her husband"s after almost eleven years of marriage, that she is still using her father's name to run bank account even with new bank accounts. I once told her that it is wrong but she will not listen. Today again, she sent another new bank account that she just open with her father's name to me that i should be sending whatever money there. We have done change of name in a national newspaper since but yet she is not effecting it anywhere.
Please how do you view this in your opinion?

Barbie15:
Thank you for not bashing me ,I have learnt my lessons. Please how do I go about this without involving my husband

Truthshurts:
Today I was at the filmhouse to watch a movie title “Can you keep a secret?”
There while waiting I met two guys talking. The first guy was telling his friend “If not that am married to her(his wife) already...all the secret am getting to know about her would had stop the wedding”
That’s a case of regrets in a marital situation.
I automatically guess what’s happening....the wife the guy married had a lot of secret she didn’t share to her husband before getting married and later after the wedding..some of it or all of it started popping up and the guy is feeling regrets marrying her.

Now my questions is
Is it better to keep a secret to someone you want to marry or reveal it.
Also is it better to reveal it before or after the wedding?
Up to you....let’s hear your opinion

Tharaja:
Goodmorning my Elders in the house. I moved into this apartment of 150k in january this year. I have done one month and some week in it.

I just get to notice there are two Grinding machines with a terrible noise some meters away from my window. 4am in the morning, the machines are On which wakes me up abruptly from sleep. They are killing me psycologically. Even afternoon, They come on too. I can't sleep afternoon, I cant enjoy sleep at nite.

I want to seek for refund of my remaining money from my Landlord. I dont know if that is possible.

Pls elders, how do I go about requesting for a refund of my money that is remaining, Cos I want to relocate from that Noise. Am dieing slowly. Help. Thanks you all.

Tharaja:
Goodmorning my Elders in the house. I moved into this apartment of 150k in january this year. I have done one month and some week in it.

I just get to notice there are two Grinding machines with a terrible noise some meters away from my window. 4am in the morning, the machines are On which wakes me up abruptly from sleep. They are killing me psycologically. Even afternoon, They come on too. I can't sleep afternoon, I cant enjoy sleep at nite.

I want to seek for refund of my remaining money from my Landlord. I dont know if that is possible.

Pls elders, how do I go about requesting for a refund of my money that is remaining, Cos I want to relocate from that Noise. Am dieing slowly. Help. Thanks you all.

YorubaKinging:
I don't believe it
They are still planning massive attack in lagos state
I'm sorry for lagosians

Kelechi009:
No oh, I am working late nights, that's why I'm still awake & then boom, I found you online at the same time.

Anyway, I just heard Corona virus case has now been found in Lagos, so be careful please.

I can't Marry you in the future if you are dead, I practically need you to stay alive, so we can end up together.

Invisible123:
Good evening all,

I have just found myself in a dilemma that's really disturbing me emotionally. I need matured and candid advice from anyone who cares.

Just recently, myself and my fiancee concluded our introduction ceremony. The wedding comes up middle of this year.

Now the problem :

My fiancee is pregnant, early last month I registered her for anti natal in a very reputable hospital in Lagos. It is standard practice that they run series of tests before commencement of the treatment. After the results came out, my wife didn't disclose the findings to me, she kept it to herself until a day after the introduction.

The results indicated that her genotype is AS of which I'm also AS. Note that we had gone for checks 4 times before committing to each other, on all four occasions the results came out as AA for her. Her mum also confirmed that she is AA, she claimed she got her tested when she was young. Immediately she told me, I got so confused, I started sweating profusely. I immediately took her to another Lab close to the general hospital in my area. We both ran the test, I came our as my usual AS while she came out as AA. Also, Today, just to be sure again, she ran another test in a separate hospital on the Island and she also came out as AA.

My fear:

The hospital I registered her in is a reputable hospital and that's the reason I'm scared. I informed the hospital of my findings, they took another sample and promised to get back to me. It took them two days to call me, they left me and my wife in emotional distress while devising a means to clear their name or confuse me with medical terms. They finally called today and told me she has the AS hemoglobin in her blood but the AA is more pronounced. This got me confused cos if the AA is more pronounced, why release the result as AS in the first place. This is why I find their story hard to believe.

I feel they came up with this excuse just to justify their claim and cover up their mistake. How can 6 clinics and hospitals test her as AA while only this hospital says AS.

Note, just this evening a new test from a separate hospital says she's AA.

Nairalanders, please what do I do? Is it possible for this anomaly to happen ? Is it possible for her to have AS and AA hemoglobin at the same time where one will be more pronounced than the other. And if it's possible, what her the chances of my baby coming out fine.

Thanks Nairalanders.

Kelechi009:
Hello, I'm back again. Please can you send me your email address?

naptu2:
https://www.solacebase.com/2020/02/25/kano-bans-begging-employs-8000-teachers/

Handsomejok:
Before marrying my wife, my business was moving well. I had an appliances big shop with full of things. I made a lots of money monthly and was able to pay all my bills and take care of my single mother and siblings without fail.

Bbut since we got married, just two months and 5 days after our marriage, my shop caught fire. I have lost almost everything only managed to save some few things, had to pay for all the damages to my landlord (the shop owner ) I’m still owning him money and I’m now renting a small shop but things are not working.

I have so much debts to pay to so many people including my previous shop landlord, can’t afford a 3 square meals, can’t afford to pay house rent, can’t afford to pay my shop rent and we have moved to my parents house.

My wife is pregnant and due in April, we haven’t bought anything for the baby. I wish never met her in my life cos she has completely destroyed my life and I have nothing left. She is evil. Haven’t confronted her cos of her condition, don’t want to add more stress to her and am waiting for her to put to bed then I will confront her and chase her away. I will keep the baby with me so she can go with her child she had before we met. I just hate her so much and I want nothing to do with her anymore.

Please what do you suggest I do?

Ikjosh04:
Well, a good father leave inheritance for his children and his children children. Right now, my dad is leaving debt for us and I'm the first born. I'll give my mom 90k and my dad 10k so it won't look like I'm biased. Honestly, my mom has been the one taking care of the family until recently cause I've stepped up my hustle(still praying for blessings and more blessings). Meanwhile, I'm very sure the 90k I'll give my mum, it's still my dad that will have total control of the money.
I don't know why I feel this way but when I see my dad, I know he didn't do enough(hustle) to fight poverty. He is that type of man that knows how to spend money so fast and he takes life easy.

P. S., my dad is a good man to me and the family but he is not hustle wise.

WilliamsTheGrea:
Hello everyone, my name is Williams, I'm a young guy of 26 years old currently engaged to a very pretty young lady who is 24 years old

I do business online and earn good income before I decided to find a lady and settle down with and luckily I found a good one who is decent and don't flirt around or do social media's like whatsapp or Facebook. Hardly receives calls, not friendly with males lol (I managed to woo her through a church member)

We have been 1 year into the relationship now and we are to get married next month but guys the problem I am having now is that she has a child for another man which is her ex she was with when she was young she gave birth at age 20, we dated for about 7 months before she told me this.

Ever since then I haven't really been myself, the child is a male child who lives with her mother but recently the mother called her to come carry the child as she can no longer look after him due to him being a very stubborn boy, the child is 4 years old.

Now she has gone to bring the child to our home, a two bedroom apartment, I'm a kind of guy who loves peaceful environment with no single drop of noise, now ever since the child came in about a week now, I have not had peace, we have quarreled several times because of the child, I'm not really comfortable with the child because I can't love another man's child as my own

My girlfriend is yet to give me a child of my own, the child runs around and doesn't listen except when beaten and each time I beat the boy up when he does wrong my girlfriend looks at me with hatred like I'm maltreating the boy because I'm not the father.

Please guys help me I don't know what to do but I can't cope with the child, I remember paying the child school fees about 3 times since we are together because the child's father isn't doing anything at all.

Now today is the child's birthday and she is asking me for money to get him cake and take him out.


My people of nairaland I cannot accept another man's child no matter what I love the mother but not the child the connection is just now there because the boy isn't of my character I'm a calm man, very calm but the boy is very radical and stubborn children irritate me so much.

I don't know what to do.

Each time this child topic comes up between I and my girlfriend she becomes bitter.

She says she will never take the child to the father or the family of the father that she must raise the child herself.

I don't think I can help train anothrr man child whom in the end will go and find his father after he is all grown.

Please I need advice, she says over her death body will she return the child to the father

I'm not comfortable in my own home.

A lot of things running through my mind like to break up with her for peace to reign

Or rent another apartment for her and the boy to go live in.

Please I need matured advice

LosC:
Poverty in the land

timibare:
nope, I see you crying soon

timibare:
Shame on these herdsmen, just 3 policemen shioor, cant dey enter d station

thalpy:
No difference. We just got married. And its like we are dating too. Its just that its now made known formally in chirch. So what would i have done if we were dating? is it not same thing i can still do now. Or you are saying breakup and even if i broke up someone will still marry her. So breakup is not a solution. And mind you she told me earlier and i confirmed when we started making love and no sex. Since i didn't see clitoris but didnt know it has huge potential effect. And for the childbirth you mean every circumcised lady gove birth through CS. Mehn that’s saddening.

attacker321:
Is it okay for a husband and wife to stay in separate rooms in the same house?

Some married couples operate like this and I am wondering why.

Let's discuss.

Cavallari:
Nice.



Send some tubers down to Lagos to sell and make small money abeg.

morgan100:
Sorry that this might be lengthy, but that’s just the only way I can cover what happened.

Around March last year, I needed an accommodation where I can bring in my wife because we were getting married. I use to live in one room self-contain, but due to the fact that I was getting married, I needed a flat. Just within my area, there is this apartment that I really love, the house is just 4 flats, so I decide to make inquiries about the house. On that very day, I went to the house, I met a man who claimed to be in-charge of the house and also claimed to be an occupant in the house.

I asked if there was any vacant space he said yes, how much? He told me the price, but asked if am the one that wants to secure the apartment, I said yes, He told me he cannot give the house to someone who is not married and someone who is a yahoo boy. I don’t know why he thought I was a yahoo boy, maybe because I looked young to be looking for a flat to rent, because I was 31 years old then and I really looked younger than my age. I told him though I was not married at that point in time, but it’s because I wanted to get married that was why am looking for an apartment, that if not for that reason, what will I want to do with a flat, only me? And for the issue of a yahoo boy, I told him am not and that he can make more findings about me, thank God the area is a student area, and that I use to be a part time lecturer in the campus close by, but now I own an ICT outlet that handles any ICT related job, so he can go ahead to make all the findings that he needs.

Fast forward…. I secured the apartment, paid and I moved in….

THE PROBLEM
The very first day I met the man, from the way he was talking, I knew he was going to be a very troublesome fellow, but I just felt, this is a flat and everyone should be able to mind his or own business, so I never mind. First thing I noticed was that, this man that I never knew, was beginning to tell me bad stuffs about the people living in the house, I was like is this man ok? Is it that you don’t want me to take the house because of these people or I should avoid these people once I secure the house? I actually don’t know, that was the first sign. Again i discovered that that the man and the other tenants don’t relate at all.

When I moved in, the man want to be bossing me around, like screaming my name from outside, something like “MARK !!!!!!” come down here, when I get there, he will just bring up some useless issue, he address me in a very rude way, just for me to know that no matter what i think i am or what i own, he is older than me, and he always makes it look like he did me a favor by linking me up with the caretaker of the house to give a house. But I was not bothered by that anyways, I just do ignore that.

To the other tenants in the house, I introduced myself to them, they were happy to see me, and that they can’t wait to meet my wife when am married, they seems to be nice more the guy I first met, and they mentioned something that, “WELCOME BROS, YOU WILL SOON GET TO KNOW EVERYONE IN THE HOUSE.

After the wedding, my wife moved in, the other neighbors came to say hi to my wife, but I noticed that this man and his wife never showed up, even with the fact that I told him and the wife before travelling for the wedding. Even when they saw me and my wife together, they just acted as if they didn’t see us, toooor, that's their problem, me will just greet them my own and move on, and never introduced my wife to them, because I was not even bothered self.

He begins to get more hostile for no reason, like shouting my name like he used to do, telling me didn’t I see this, didn’t I see that, talking to be like his 5 years old son, complaining about how water was dropping from kitchen, that the water is disturbing his balcony, you need to see how hostile and rude he presented the matter, as if I was the one that caused the dropping of water from the kitchen, you actually need to see the water he was complaining about, the water can’t fill up a small milk can in 3-hours, and not that we make use of the kitchen every hour. In order to avoid problems, I went to block the water that goes out from the kitchen, so that it does not drop anymore, we do go down stairs to throwaway dirty water from the kitchen outside, I told the caretaker who is also a plumber he came to fix it, it was just a leaking pipe.

There was a day, he shouted my name and I even thought something serious happened, when I got down stairs, he was like, he saw a guy now that left my apartment, I said yes that's true, hope no problem, he was like, he don't want to see him in this compound again, I was like, why? he said the guy is rude, that if the guy sees him on the street, he don't use to greet him, I was like for real? He said yes, I told him i have heard, and I just smiled and left.

One day I and my wife was coming back from an evening outing, as we were about entering the gate my car battery just went dead all of a sudden, and it’s an automatic car, I had to go and lend a battery to start the car from someone close by, when I got the battery, I used it to start the car, and I returned my battery into the car, left it working so that the battery can charge a little, I went to return the battery to the owner who was just like 2 houses from where my car broke down, not even up to a 2 minutes-walk, before I knew what was happening, this man has started shouting my name all over the house to come and put off the car, that am disturbing him, you need to see where his apartment is and where the car broke down, I almost lost my cool that evening, but I was calmed by my wife. I was like, I can’t just leave the engine running for no reason, and he should have even asked what the problem was for me to have left the car engine running, since he has never seen me do that before.

I was not around one day like that, my wife called me that there was light in other flats, but there was no light in our own apartment. My flat and his flat shares the same wire from the electric pole, funny enough, he went to disconnect my flat from the wire, claiming that the wire he just bought the wire from the pole and since the wire belongs to him, I should connect my flat from elsewhere. I told my wife to go and meet the other neighbor in the other flat to see how they can help, in-fact when my wife told the guys in other flat what happened, my wife told me that I need to see the way the guys quickly rose up and help her in connecting the wire to theirs, that she should not worry that everything is alright. (THOSE WERE THE PEOPLE THE MAN TAGGED BAD PEOPLE OO).

I drove into the compound one day, and about that time, NEPA brought light and I went down stairs to put on the pumping machine, as I was about going back to my apartment, this man called me like he used to do, and asked me to come and see something, I knew it won’t end well, because he always have this rude and hostile way of talking to people, he took me to the place I drove in with the car and told me that didn’t I see that I used my car tire to dirty the place, I was like seriously? Haba, am not the only one passing through this place, the other guys have cars too, and this place is not even dirty because the last time I checked, I was even the one that sweep this place, and not that my tires were cover with mod, He was like he is going to deal with me, that he was going to call the landlord so that they will chase me out of the compound, I was like deal with me? For what? Already the noise from him and my voice made my wife came out and the other guys in the other flat came out too, before I know what was happening, he HIT ME ON MY FACE………….

I was so mad, in fact in my life I have been mad like that before, the fact that there were people outside, I said to myself I won’t hit back, at least I have witnesses, I was going to report him to the police, but I gave him the piece of my mind in a very disrespectful way. I went upstairs to grab a shirt heading to the police station, but my wife refused me going to the police, that I should just let it go, that she don’t want police wahala, but the other tenant in the house refused, they said I most get him arrested, but on a second thought the guy (the other tenant) said, in as much as he would love to see me arrest this man, but “GUY, DO WHAT YOUR WIFE WANT”. I tried as much as I can to calm down, because I was so angry. Not even knowing that the other guys in the apartment has got him locked up before, had it been I got him arrested, I will be the third person to do that in that house.

I reported him to the caretaker, the guy told me that I should have hit him back, that nobody made him to be in charge of the house, that we are all tenants, at least he the caretaker was the one I paid the house rent to, that the guy only deceived me when I first met him, that he dare not call the landlord self, because the landlord has given him series of warnings, that the landlord has even locked him up before, it was people that begged on his behalf, that I should just ignore him. The next morning funny enough I still greeted this man, but he didn’t answer, from that day henceforth I began to ignore him, but the wife, when she is not with the husband, she greets me nicely and I do respond, even if she didn’t see me, I greet her first, but when the husband is there, she dare not, so as to avoid beating. But everyone begin to mind their own business.

Some few months later, I and my wife went to church that Sunday morning, before we came back, this man brought out one dilapidated cage that used to be beside the corner of the house fence and put it right on the spot where I do park my car, when I saw that, I was just smiling, I just jejely parked my car elsewhere in the compound, seems he want to start trouble again, he can eat the space, since he is jobless, early morning when everyone even including the wife are going out to look for one or two things to do so as to get money, you will find him under the tree at the street junction with like minds, arguing about politics that does not concern them. Had it been I know this guy to be this hostile, am not sure I would have paid for the accommodation, because I don't have the mind for trouble.

I told my wife, the day he will try that same rubbish he did by hitting me, even if my wife go ahead to call all my family members and hers to beg me, I won’t listen to them, I will definitely get him locked up, and really deal with him according to the law. I would have moved out of the house, but getting a nice accommodation like that is difficult around, so I have choose to ignore him, but the day he will cross my path again, I won’t take it likely with him.

jantofubu:
Her way of suppressing tension

chariisGRACE:
I guess the sister was adopted, because I can't imagine my own blood doing this to me.

Very Painful.

womanscorned:
Before I got married to my husband we had a kind of perfect relationship. I just thought he was the perfect guy. He always checked on me. I did feel like he was marrying me for ulterior motives and everyone else just thought so too. My brothers warned me that he is not going to treat me right but I just feel drawn to him. I thought he just really cared about me. He seemed different.

I introduced him to my dad and my dad asked if I was sure and yes at that moment I was. Then shortly before the wedding his true colors started to come out. I never checked his phone but then a friend caught her boyfriend cheating so I decided to just check it. Guys I understand people say that if you go looking you will find something but I actually don't really believe that why is there always something that is the main point. I checked his phone and found one boob pic and pics of his old exes. I was SO shocked. Honestly, I never thought I would find anything. He told me that he recently got his phone updated and the pic was a pic of a celebrity. But I was smarter than that I saw that it was actually an "Auntie" that sent the pic so basically one of his contacts. I was so shocked, didn't know what to do. I told my brother he told me to just pray and I did and I felt like he was still the one he apologized and assured me that he was going to change.

Fast forward to a few months later I see a girl's pic in his phone his good friend's girlfriend and he was commenting on her looks very gross-like. I lost it and we fought but he assured me it was just guy talk.

Then again I recently found him talking to his good friend about another girl's boobs and he never tells me he loves me any longer. Never really truly cares. He even brought up divorce if I wanted to do it. So I am just kind of stuck. I do want to get a divorce honestly if my parents and his would not get involved. But we have a child together. I am not sure what to do right now. Why would he do this to me? Why get married if you don't love the person. I understand that people say guys will be guys and locker room talk but if you don't love that person deeply and truly then why marry them and make a vow before God.

Now I don't know what to do. He is always so rude in the way he talks. I can't remember the last time he took me out and even if he did I am sure it would be a dry conversation. I think he really is just worried about what people say and not really losing me any longer. He has this thing where he wants to always look like a nice guy. So my question is if you were in this position how would you leave? Oh he also looks at my friends and claims he never was when it is pretty obvious. He drank a little and then started winking at my friend.