₦airaland Forum

olawalepopoola:
What will you do as a man if your own mother tried hard to fustrate and destroy your home. Matured answers will be appreciated.

No mother will be glad to do that to her son, unless she belongs to another world

Just keep managing her with her wahala and manage wife tok with her own way of perceiving the show

You can't and can never throw away your mother, unless you are very sure she is the one behind your failure with prove

Omolarablg:
I will be brief , my parents separated 15yrs, I’m from a family of 4 , 3 boys and a girl which is me , my parents separated 15yrs ago when I was just 11, my dad has never care for me and my brothers , he was always busy chasing women up and down , he had multiple kids with other women then he later married this woman younger than him , they had 4 children together 3 boys and a girl. Unfortunately last year October his wife died during labour , the baby survived. Now the children are girl 7, boy 4,2, 4 months old , my grand mother ( dad mother) has taken the girl and the 2 oldest boys while the baby is staying with the mom sister , my dad doesn’t care about those children he has been staying with another woman , he doesn’t visit or send them money , my grand mother has been on my neck begging me to collect my sister from her because she has been worrying the environment is not safe for her , have asked my husband for permission to collect the child , he agreed but my mother has disagreed and said if I go and collect the child she will disowned me all her life , and my grand mother can’t stop crying and begging me to come for the girl, I want to help my sister but I don’t want my mom to hate me because she is very serious about it. I’m in a dilemma and confuse , please encourage and advice me

When next your grand mum calls, just tell her to speak with your mum about it and your mum will bring her over

That same girl can survive where she is because other children are also their

Your grand mum needs your help because she is too old to go through the kind of stress she never deed when she was bearing her own children

As for your dad, just leave him one day, the thing that will make him have sense will meet him and that is health challenge

As for your mum, be very careful, she went through hell from your dad and has decided to vent the anger on any child born by another woman for your dad

It's not good thinking from her side, the girl you are requesting for is just a small girl who doesn't even know what is happening

So tread with caution over your mum

Don't just underate her pls

Life has thought me to humble myself

Respect people and they will respect you

Be economical with every penny you have

Alanzazani:
A friend of my shared his story with me.
He got married in October 2018, had a baby in July 2019. His wife had a fibroid in her uterus hence a ceasarian operation was carried out.

A few days ago they went for a scan to see what the fibroid looks like. To his amazement he was told his wife is 10 weeks pregnant. The young man is devastated. He is struggling to take care of his baby and his family. Only to be shocked with this news of a 10week old pregnancy. He is contemplating aborting the pregnancy. He doesn't know if 8 months is enough time for his wife's body to have healed. I strongly adviced him against this. His wife is unwilling to abort the baby. Mature advice need. FP please

All she needs is absolute rest and if the baby is giving her stress at home, they can take the baby to her mother they are I the best position to look after the child and make sure they supply all the child needs from provision, clothing and the rest

Next time they will be strick with child spacing

princemillla:
Good noon guys pls I need the right input. Pls kindly read carefully and let me know how to best attack the issue.

NB : ignore any form of typos as am tensed while writing this.


I have a Lil sis who got engaged Last year. ThO she was pregnant befor the engagement.

Things were rosy after the engagement but along the line the young guy died last year December (2019).
Befor the guy died the wife delivered a boy.
Just immediately after the guy was pronounced dead, the guys mother collected both the landed property and car key from my sis.

Now she wanted my sis to come drop off a boy of 5months plus every property in their apartment to her (the deceased mothers) place. She also want to pick everything in my sis shop.



How do one tackle this issue house pls.

I would appreciate your family and his family sort this out

Engagement is different from marriage

If they want those material things, she should give them and have peace

She can't hold on to what doesn't belongs to her

But she should keep her son with her and if they insist they want the baby, let them go to court you guys will meet him there

Am sure their are unsettled issues hanging on before the death of the man, let your sister go and take care if herself, its obvious they don't want her from inception

Only God can bless who he wants to bless

Nairaland40:
Good days Nairalanders.

I knw this might sound funny but it's a problem i need advise to solve as I keep getting ashamed of myself each time I make out with my wife. I have been married for close to 3 years now with a daughter and each time I'm making out with my wife, I do cry joyfully in the process and sometimes moan which keeps leaving me in shame before my wife after sex. Our sex life wasn't that strong when we were dating because of distance, now we live together and this thing keep happening. It's really embarrassing and I can't help it. I have met and explained to some of my close friend and they said it's nothing to worry about that I should worry over other things to help build my family, but I'm so uncomfortable with such awkward reactions during make out, my wife doesn't complain about it, but I doubt if it's something a normal man should be doing. I'm ashamed of myself writing this as I have never heard such similar experience anywhere by any man.

Is it something I should overlook or see a doctor?

You should be great full that you are in ecstasy

Wonderful, aren't you lucky

What's to be ashamed of in such a cloud nine

Let me explain to you incase you don't have the idea, during sex, men behaves like babies especially with a love one, his senses goes off and his ego goes away at that moment, that's one of the ways he will enjoy it

What you can do is to reduce the sound, women lives to hear the man moan, that's where they put extra effort to give you a good landing

Men too wants a woman to moan for him, it shows he took you there back and Fort

Enjoy your sex now that it's hot

When family responsibilities comes up with the presence of kids, there is the tendency that you will make our without moaning but still enjoy your self

favoryte33:
What has this man achieved since he assumed office?

He has stopped pointing fingers

asjay:
Until it happens to you ,then you will discover you don't have a point

God can't be deceived ,no matter how long you keep lying to keep your secret ,it will come out one day

So when it does , what will be your excuse


I have seen men live their lives recklessly and come out to say we all have a past and no one will know since it is in the past
Marriage under false pretense

Once the truth comes out perhaps due to guilty conscience, sickness ,leading of the spirit or a personal encounter with Christ or the partner finds out one way or the other ,trust is forever gone ..... so what will be your point then again

Am already done with you

MiztaFabuloz:
What do you think about this cake and what word can you give to the baker.

Perfection

The fish no get price

Sell your cars and off set the bills

And Sunday offering will be used for monthly upkeep ❓

Believe PM news at your own peril

ReverseFlash:
F... T... C!!!

Teachers in Delta State have to be the worst in the world. Very frustrated set of civil servants and it's the students that suffer it most. So sad, RIP young man.

As for you teacher, you don enter. God help you and you don't have money to give to police...

#NoFlogging #FloggingHelpsNoOne

This is not money matter he is in for it

loshybab:
"Ofcourse, especially a woman like you"

You must be well schooled in cover-ups

Women have learnt how to lie from men and it has come to stay

Men can lie for Africa once they catch them with a woman

bodaola:
Last week. I invited a girl to my house and one thing one thing we started smooching... When the smooching is going on. She said, i Dont want to do this. I said why, she said... My wedding is 28 of December.

In shock i was like, so you will soon be a married woman. She said yes. Even should me I.V on her phone. I was wowed.
Then i tend removing my mind off this. Not until she said she's already Hot that she needs my dick now... She pounce on it and we ride on. While we were fuvking, her Fiance called and she instructed me to keep quiet. Then i did.
During the Convo, the guy asked her where is she. She then replied she's at aunty Hannah's place. She came to bargain about the wedding planner shit. Then the guy said OK and dropped the call.
We continue fuvking, but my mind was off it. At that time, i began to feel heartbreak. I felt the pain. I began to think my girlfriend is fuvking another guy apparently. Mehn! As we are talking now! I just broke up with my girlfriend. I can't allow any woman do this to me in future.

See, i Dont think I will get married. I sorry mum, I will do baby mama thing. No! Women are thieves!

You have a blame in all that happened, she told you that her marriage is coming up and you wanted to pull out of her but she gripped you and needed your dick.

You are now telling us that you don't have self control

You want us to blame the girl for engaging into sex what about you that was aware of her marriage plan and bleeped her

If we blame her, what do we do about you ❓

bodaola:
Last week. I invited a girl to my house and one thing one thing we started smooching... When the smooching is going on. She said, i Dont want to do this. I said why, she said... My wedding is 28 of December.

In shock i was like, so you will soon be a married woman. She said yes. Even should me I.V on her phone. I was wowed.
Then i tend removing my mind off this. Not until she said she's already Hot that she needs my dick now... She pounce on it and we ride on. While we were fuvking, her Fiance called and she instructed me to keep quiet. Then i did.
During the Convo, the guy asked her where is she. She then replied she's at aunty Hannah's place. She came to bargain about the wedding planner shit. Then the guy said OK and dropped the call.
We continue fuvking, but my mind was off it. At that time, i began to feel heartbreak. I felt the pain. I began to think my girlfriend is fuvking another guy apparently. Mehn! As we are talking now! I just broke up with my girlfriend. I can't allow any woman do this to me in future.

See, i Dont think I will get married. I sorry mum, I will do baby mama thing. No! Women are thieves!

If women are thieves❓
what are men robbers ❓

Ebus12:
My mum has refused to listen to anyone and feels hat my dad should be allowed to suffer a bit for what he is been doing to her

Meanwhile my dad feels he has taken enough of her problem and is considering everyone going seperate ways

If going separate ways will make them happier let it be

As time goes on they will know if they need to reunite or not

The issue is that your dad must have been hurting your mum and feeling less concerned about her emotional state

Women don't forget easily if and when you keep hurting them in a clueless manner

I will not advice you to sit them down and reconciled them, you are too small to handle their matters

Just manage them and don't take sides to any of them in the presence of another

If your dad is a lazy man amd wants to control the resources of your mother, no woman will take such from a man that doesn't care about her

Ask your mum what happened, she will start her story from the very first day your dad hurt her without an apology

Ask you dad what happened, he will tell you that your mother doesn't assist him if and when he doesn't have

But be careful about who you supports

Your mother will expect you to take sides with her and of you don't you will have the worst problems with her

Your mother should not pack out unless your dad throws her luggages out and your dad must not be sent out unless he wishes to

Davash222:
Leave them alone, na old age dey worry dem. Coulpes act this way when they're getting old. Concentrate more on your studies.

That's not true, they have pending issues they couldn't solve and that pending issues is triggering other issues

DanTunde:
I had to create a new account to post this.
I was having a discussion with my fiancee the other day, I asked her what if we got married and I beat her one day. She laughed and said, that any day I would raise my hand on her she would either poison me or ruin me so bad.
We have been dating for 2 years now, and our wedding is scheduled for April.
Since she said this, I have been having a serious rethink. What if she means what she said, cause my fiancee is pretty determined?

That question was really uncalled for

With her response, don't dare try it

ufotty2001:
Hello Nairalanders!
Please, I really need your advice most especially from matured men and women. Am a kind of person that don't like associating with ladies because I see them has distractions right from my University time now this has become part of my lifestyle am absolutely addicted to it.
This year will make me 35yrs old I don't have a girlfriend also I don't still have interest of becoming a married man yet reason because am still chasing my career and money.
Am a graduate, also I got qualified as a Chartered Accountant last year, currently am earning 120k per month, Am staying in one room apartment rent of N85k.. have Managed to save up to a N1m as savings.
When I see people earning even 40k married with 2 children I always feel as if something is wrong with me.

You say women are distractions but you have one you

Anyway, if you are not considering marriage then you are the one holding yourself

If you can manage your wife then you can manage children and the ups and downs of marriage

Start early before you train your children with pension money

babyfaceafrica:
I beg to disagree.. There is no good reason to keep any vital secret from your husband /wife!!

And the Bible says a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife and the two shall become one.


A marriage built on false foundations is bound fo fail no matter how long it last. Lies are very unhealthy for relationships..my wife will know all my exes, my health issues, family issues and the likes and I expect her to reciprocate. If she is not satisfied with this information, I expect her to leave before we get married. It is better we start on a clean slate. We'll to each his/own. I can't live the rest of my life with someone knowing there are things if she knows will cause problems... High BP is real. There is nothing hidden under the sun for ever

I have a point and you too have a point

Am done with you

babyfaceafrica:
But if it licks out, just apologise and be a good person

I laugh at you... What makes you think it is that easy?..


Let me give you two scenarios.. You had a child before you got married and you refuse to tell your spouse.. So you think if he /she finds out.. You will just Apologies and everything will be back to normal.. Don't be naive!!

Second example, you have dated your spouse sister or brother before and you didn't inform them before getting married.. After marriage he or she discovers and you think they will be comfortable with you?

You guys should just be honest for once!!.. Once you tell a lie, you will have to tell a bigger lie to protect the lie... This doesn't pay

There will always be a good reason to keep some secret and there will always be lies to tell

Everyone has a secret even your best friend is not aware

If it get discovered, shoe remorse, apologise and promise to change from it

The major issue here is if you keep repeating same thing or one is stupid and clueless about it

GindoX:
Like seriously? I should chew fufu and put it in his mouth, abi?

If you want to learn you, if you don't want to learn leave it

For a baby, you chew beans, yam pourage, fish, and the rest just because they can't chew

It's another way of introducing solid food to her

Some children won't eat solid food but cereals and tea even up to 2yrs

Who's pocket ❓

Good for them they are adults

TeamLeader:
She is 4 months and yet to be sitting unless she is supported. If i force her to sit after less than 3 minutes she will be crying but when supported she can sit for long. And she is very strong physically, kicking and everything.

am I being too worried or its normal.

am a brand new father tho.



At what months should I be getting worried


thanks for your contribution

There is time for everything

Children starts practical sitting at four months and full sitting at six months, which will help the child to crawl

You can get a carton at six months, floor the carton with soft clothes and sit your baby inside, it helps them to learn how to sit, but on the floor

Meanwhile, concentrate on the baby walker, that's what she needs now

With the aid of the walker she will move around the house

If you force her to sit continuously at this stage, you are suffering her spinal cord

Don't rush your baby they have time for everything about their progress

Start eating for for her by chewing it and putting in her mouth, she will grow to learn to eat real food which will help you to save money for cereals

This is what I will call family disgrace with show of shame

Okmei3119:
Hello nlander

I had to open a new account because I am getting irritated by my husband not been able to make a decision or do anything without seeing me.He lacks self confidence
If he wants to open an account with a bank,I have to be seated with him right dere,if his boss rebuked him,I have to be dere to beg his boss,if he makes a mistake,I have to be dere to clean up this mess over and over and over again.

What got me really irritated was when we were about paying for our new apartment and I was at engrossed with work at the office,I told him to pay the landlord since he was off duty,he insisted he didn’t know what to say and I should be seated beside him,I was so disappointed.I had to do all the talking that day when we got to the landlords.He doesn’t invest his money,he spends lavishly and when he is broke,he gets so angry at me if I tell I invested mine.

How would I build him to be a man who can be confident in himself and make decisions without I always seated to boost his ego,I love him but I don’t like weak men

You see, some men would rather prefer their wife to be the one making some decisions to avoid women with their wahala

I will suggest you sit him down and talk it out, but if he gives deaf ears, go ahead and enjoy your gift if being the family spokes person

But be doing it under ground before his family will think you manipulated him

Then make sure he gives you the support you need and protect you before his family

carpdiemz:
I decide to throw this question on here because there has been many cases related to this . A very good example is my uncle who got married some years ago; after some years the wife couldn’t get pregnant. I remember my mum used to tell me how slim my uncle looked whenever she went to visit them , and my uncle used to tell her that it was due to sex and his frustrated too , that the love making isn’t something of a pleasure no more, he truly love the wife cuz he spent so much money from a very hard hustling job in Lagos to had the wedding ceremony.

However my uncle had an extra marital affair out of frustration best known to him, the lady got pregnant and that was how everything escalated when the wife got to know,she felt so bad and left ; after sometime we had that she has also got pregnant and delivered the baby safely and so did my uncles babymumma too.

I also have some friends now that have been married for some years and they still haven’t got any kids yet and these are people in there early 30 and late 30s .

To me I think it’s better for a man to consider the idea of the woman first getting pregnant before getting the marriage done and dis must be on a very good agreement that after that they can have the wedding ceremony ; mind you I’m not saying it’s mostly women’s fault not to conceive during marriage I’m just saying it’s best they both do it dis way to know where the problem is coming from , I know some men has low sperm count too , but this will allow them to both take measures on time , rather than wasting time than going to church giving testimony at the age of 60 or 65 which they won’t even tell u how they later got the baby which is mostly by the means of latest technology and it’s not even guaranteed.

This is just my opinion .

Children comes from God

You can't be faster than God

If you insist on your wife getting pregnant before marriage and after the wedding the pregnancy becomes a still born or miscarriage

Would you ask her to go after several trials

If your sperm count drops for no goid reason and you can't pregnant your wife again, would you dissolve the marriage or you pray to God

The bottom line is give all to God and he will perfect it for you

SwhtJesusbaby:
I got married in 2015. The problem started in 2016 when I had to resign from my job in Uyo and move in with my husband in Lagos. He most times won't sleep at home and blame it on his work. Sometimes I'll call more than two weeks and he won't pick up. Even while at home, he wants to be alone with his phone.

Going through his phone one day, I discovered he's been keeping affairs with lots of women, I also found out that he has a child before he met me of which his family members were not aware of. I had to inform his family members when he started maltreating me at home because of what I found out on his phone.

Just when I planned to leave the marriage in 2016, I became pregnant. I gave birth to my baby in 2017 and ever since then, it's been war. He'll leave home for several weeks without informing me where he is, if I call, he won't pick and any time I report him to his sister, she'll shout at me that I cannot endure.

I lived off my friends and relatives during the period I was nursing and sick and couldn't find a job. He won't provide for the baby and yet won't bother to call to know how we're fairing. If I call, he won't pick and when I complained to his people, I still get blamed.

This morning I got tired of everything, cried to God that he should make him deserted to the extent that even his seeds would flee from him. Told God that since he's decided to abandon me with his child, God should also abandon him when he needed him most. Even while he's alive, God should replace him in my life and my child's life.

I wouldn't know if my actions were wrong but since I made the prayers, my heart became hardened.

Sorry about everything you passed through and may God soften your heart

All the courses you laid on him may or may not work

Ask God to withdraw the courses and give you a happy heart

What will be will be

You on your own part, if you can no longer tolerate it, it's either you walk away and start another life or you endure till infinity

Whatever he us doing, will be something that will affect him at the appropriate time

Left for me, don't report him to his family again, they will still live their son even if he is the most foolish human being on earth

Get something doing to look after your child

At the end it's either he comes back to his senses or he remains the way he is

iykbethany:
Guys pls what is *depression* and how do you know that you are depressed?

Depression is a state of mind that wants you to give up for nothing

A situation where you find yourself frustrated due to circumstances beyond your control

You will find yourself being sad for nothing
Not wanting to be with anyone
Always sad and wishes people to get sad as well so that they will assume they are all in the same class

The best is to avoid anything that will make you get depressed, even when the need arises, push it away pls

Be happy and don't allow anyone put you in a tight corner

nelsoooooo:
I got married as everyone , we lived a quite life , because I grew up in family that we had enough money but we hardly allow the money to get into us , I have a business that I was doing and I got my wife a shop where she sales groceries . In the neighborhood where we leave , it happens that I had to build our own house in a new settlement and my wife was not doing anything anymore and she said she wanted to go into fahion design and I paid for her to start ,and all of a sudden my own business begin to have problems because of the new place we parked to , my wife after visiting the elder sister that leaves in another state she changed her attitude she no longer wants me to touch her , she talks a.ny how to me , last year December I usually give her #150,000 to shop for her self and the childen but because of the way things I gave her ₦60,000 to manage . She started complaining that I am a poor man that she would leave me and go and stay with the mother , only for me to wake up on 1st Jan she had left the house with the kids and I called her she told me she was not coming back again and I called the mother the mother said it's better she stays with her , I called the elder sis she went visiting the last time , she said it's high time I allow her sister enjoy her self that I have been a blocking stone to her , ppl would want to help her when the find out that she is married they will not want to help her , as it is now I have not called her and she has not even called me it's getting to 2months now pls I need advice from u guys ,should I go ahead and call her or should I just wait .

Be a man, go to her family with other family members as witness

Make your complain known to her family and hear what they will sayif they insist on her staying with her mother tell them you want your children, they will refuse but if they do just leave

Go and cool yourself down

Next plan is how to stabilize your self, get another woman and be happy with yourself

She has chosen her own way and you too have to chose yours

If she requests for your children up keep , go to their new school and pay the school fees directly to the management account and keep the receipts

That's all

By the time she wants to come back, you are already happy with another woman

What happens in this kind of situation

She must remain with the mother and you remain with your new found woman

It's either she accepts it or not

No one should determine your happiness and don't give people the right to determine your happy mood and sad mood