₦airaland Forum

brimdans:
I would have loved to remain anonymous, but what's the point?

My problem is I'm a jobless graduate, who works for a friend. This friend I work for, doesn't even pay, he just gives me stipends after every work I do. It's a laundry work. He owns the shop, so he's in charge of everything in the shop including, collections of money and all. My work is just to work. I do virtually everything in the shop.

My problem is this guy almost all the time collects the money and doesn't even give me my share. The only time I see my share is when the I'm around when the monies are given to him.

I'm hooked because I mostly feed in there house, because the shop is just within the house. I tried to get a good job, but nothing is forth coming. I even tried applying for casual jobs, still no luck.

I'm currently in a dilemma because my parents are tired of me staying in there house, so currently I sleep in the shop, and it's not even conducive, but that's the only option I have.

I tried contacting my relatives in Lagos if I could go and make a living there, but they aren't really interested me coming.

Please I kindly need advise and help, because I'm heading towards depression.

I'm actually 30 years old. With nothing to show for, except "I'm a graduate" tag.

Chisaedhor:
This is exactly 1month 5 days since my wife puts to birth. Mother and baby safe and sound via Normal Delievery

Since then I don zip up sha but he get as body dey do me now, as body no be firewood na.

Please is it okay to start making love to her now??

Lala abeg help a brother.

Google is giving me confusing answers

WhiteRuler:
First of all, apologies for any errors you may come across as I am not at the right frame of mind now.

Secondly, this post is 100% real about my life. So nothing is fake in it.

I'm a man, precisely 33 years old. I graduated from the University in 2019 at age 31. You may ask why I was still in school till that age. Well, I have realized that family/parental background matters a lot in a child's life no matter how people try to twist the fact. My family/parental background wasn't a good one educationally and financially as my parents were just petty traders and this has contributed negatively in achieving my goals and aspirations in life. With the above, you can deduce that there was no sources of funding for my tertiary education so I had to find a job after my secondary school while very ambitious about my furthering my education because I always believed in acquiring education up to university level. This led me to doing several odd jobs such as construction site labourer, security guard, cleaning, barbing, hawking, even to remove soak away and many others just to feed and see myself through school. Let me also add that @33 now, there are some jobs I can't do again because of some changes in my health system occasioned by some of the odd jobs I exposed myself to. For example, any strenuous job now is not for me as it makes me breath heavily like an asthmatic patient; any job that requires standing for long or bending down not for me due to broken waist (although these might be solvable issues but for now, I can't tell cos I have no money to visit health facility).

Moving on, while I may be thanking God for the academic success (even though the school is yet to issue me certificate) but I'm having strong feelings about myself. I feel like I have failed in life. I feel like I am a failure. My mates who got admission into university immediately after secondary school are gainfully employed today, living in comfortable apartment (built or rented), married with kids, have their own car and generally doing well. Even the ones who didn't further but venture into learning trade are doing well too. On the other hand, at 33, I have virtually nothing to show for it. Still living in one thatch house, poor, hungry and starving, no wife, no kid(s) (not even a serious girlfriend), no job, no car and nothing to show for my 33 years on earth. This is why I'm feeling like I have failed in life and it has made me to always be ashamed of myself and always trying to avoid meeting my mates who are doing well.

Also, looking at the country Nigeria, most employers recruit under 30. @33, what are my chances of
landing a good job if I refuse to forge age and go for service but collect exemption letter? What are even the possibility of getting a job as I have no capital for business? Note: between 2019 and now, I've learnt several online money making skills but yet to make a kobo out of it all. Note also: ordinarily, I wouldn't seek employment (private or government) because I'm multi talented e.g in football, entertainment or business but these talents need money to develop which is what I'm lacking.

My questions:
Please what do you all think? Do you think I have failed or I'm a failure in life? What is the future holding for me? As at today, the only thing I can boast of is "I am a graduate". Nothing more...like I said, poor, hungry and starving.

Help me with good pieces of advice please before my mind begins to consider evil as fastest way of making money. Thanks.

IamNumeroUno:
I was just thinking, how would the next APC's presidential candidate campaign?
Considering the challenges currently facing the nation, which many have allegedly attributed to President Buhari's incompetence, whoever gets the APC's presidential nomination would have to either campaign on continuity or rubbish the present administration's style.
If he, or maybe she, chooses continuity, then such a candidate has to answer the questions of many Nigerians about PMB's alleged incompetence.

If the candidate chooses to go the opposite, he would be campaigning against the current government.

So, will it be:
"We will fix the damages caused by Muhammadu Buhari"

Or

"We will continue from where President Buhari stops"?

It has to be one of the above statements.

If you were to choose, which would it be?

Make una come answer small campaign question.

CodeTemplar:
Even in Ramadan these evil jihadists aren't relenting. Make the fire of the true God consume them at once.

thebosstrevor1:
If there was no endsar, banditry, bokoharam, ipob and all those inciting violence, there won't have been increase in the price of foodstuffs.

Inflation is around 16% thanks to those "gentle" problems above

nairavsdollars:
Temidayo Akinsuyi, Lagos



https://www.independent.ng/ripples-in-pdp-over-sarakis-alleged-presidential-bid/

Deathisfree:
Hi Nairalanders
This is really disturbing me right now,I just wedded about 2 months ago
My mother in-law first visit was 2 weeks ago, I purposely left the house before she came because I was not really bucks up
Suddenly she came this morning around 7:30 am without a pre notice. She didn’t tell my wife nor call any of us to let us know she’s coming.

She stays about 35 mins drive to my house,my parents stays about 5mins drive to my house and they can not try such and perhaps. They are too busy for all that nonsense

I’m in my room right now alone here on Nairaland seeking for advice on what to do before I do wrong. I am planning to tell my wife when her mother is gone and warm her never to let such happen again.

chatinent:
While courting, you were better halves. What happens after marriage?


What happens after a week living together? and months, years? What happens to forever?


Does the love remain the same? Does it fade by itself? Are both parties always striving to resurrect it?


Of course, I understand it is not advisable to plunge into marriage!

What is life like in marriage?

What happens during a quarrel?

Does a partner always prove they are right?

Are there complaints? Complaints like one person washing the plates, and the other making it more tedious? Are there arguments about how the WC is to be used?


How and when are responsibilities shared?



What about insecurity?
Does it come on its own? Are there hidden thoughts one's partner may be cheating always?


What are the main responsibilities to keep a woman/man forever young in their hearts? What are the major needs?

What can make a woman still look very good even after childbirth?

Should the husband also do minor chores?

What happens when she becomes pregnant?

What is the major emotional need?

How is trust built?

To wives and husbands, what do you call satisfaction in a husband/wife? What needs does he/she fulfills make you feel satisfied?

What would you ever wish for?

Does the care and love remain the same?



I need experienced persons (married couples probably) to clarify me.


I've been thinking about these questions of late.

lecturer50:
Please house I need an advice.

Ever since I got a federal government job,

my relatives have been disturbing me for money.

There must always be an issue that involves money which they want me to solve.

Recently, my mom become sick.

They are threatening me that I would be held responsible if my mom dies,if I don't make sure she is cured.

But I have taken her to hospitals, and she is trying to recover.

I do this whenever I visit home since I am working in a state far from home.

Her health challenge is due to old age.

But today my uncle called me that I should resign, get back to the village and personally take care of my mom,

failure of which,if she dies, the whole family would hold me responsible for choosing job over my mom.

Can you imagine resigning your federal job to get to the village and start staying?

The calls, the demands, the attacks are getting too much for me.

Please should I just switch off my phone so that no one can contact me?

I just need advice?

DoubleFingers:
N/B: This could be a bit lengthy, but please, read to the end.

I have been making preparations since late last year to settle down with my fiancee. I intend going to collect the marriage list this coming April to kick start the marriage processes.

My girl and I are very compatible in almost all ramifications you can think of. Honestly, she's the perfect definition of a supportive wife, well mannered and loyal to the core, just to say a few.

We now lived in different states, but we've known ourselves and have been seeing/dating each other in the same city between December 2016 and September 2019. I even made her to redeploy during her NYSC in 2018, to be close to me because of my intentions for her.

As usual, we've been praying and trying to seek the face of God to get divine revelation.

So on the 9th of this month (March), my fiancee and her mum visited a priest for normal pre marriage talk/counseling. The priest of course asked my girl some questions about me, which she answered sincerely. The priest then advised my girl and her mum to put everything in God's hand and be praying about it.

About a week later (around 16th or so), my fiancée's mother had a dream where my fiancée's hair was cut in the dream. In trying to understand the dream, my fiancee then called her cousin who is a Reverend, and the cousin told her that the dream is a bad dream, that it means "someone is trying to take her glory."

That dream compelled my fiancee and her mum to have two days midnight prayer (19th and 20th precisely) to cancel any bad dream.

Reaching today, my girl and her mum visited the priest again, to let him know about the dream. The priest then asked my girl about her understand of the dream. My girl said it means "widowhood." But my girl's mum was having a different understanding.

In summary, the priest then asked my girl if she had gotten a divine revelation, as to whether we're meant to be husband and wife. My girl said no has not.
Personally, I've fasted and prayed severally to God to show me reasons not to marry my fiancee, but I'm yet to see reasons not to.

Honestly, apart from divine validation which I'm yet to get, I'm yet to see reasons why I shouldn't marry my fiancee. And my girl have been worried since this afternoon, thereby getting me worried also.

Now my questions are:

1.) What does it mean for someone's hair to be cut in a dream?

2.) Is it 100% compulsory that one must get a divine validation to have a peaceful and happy marriage?

Please, your honest contributions will be appreciated.

Mods, please help a brother if this piece isn't in the right section.

And help send it to front page for more response.

Thanks.

RisenJoe:
can buhari still be using air force one after the expiration of his tenure

Swealy:
I have gotten about 4 interviews in the past 2 weeks for jobs but they are all sales job
The job description including meeting targets and some commission based salary.
Any information will be appreciated

Rhodaogunpeju:
Why are our Nigerian Men so insensitive.

I'm naturally a chubby lady with curves and I remember vividy how my husband used to praise my physique and say I'm his spec. According to him skinny girls are not his type.

We got married and I have given birth to two kids and I added weight a little, plus we were living comfortably so the good life was evident in my life and body.

The church we normally attend, the pastor's wife has 5 kids already and she's much older than me but she still looks moderate enough with little or zero stomach fat.

My husband seeing this woman has constantly been telling me to try and work on myself, this man literally wants me to be skinny, when we married I wasn't skinny, the blow was when he compared me to my Pastor's wife, saying I have just 2 kids and I added weight while our Pastor's wife has 5 and she's looking like she never gave birth.. I cried and I have been crying since..


It hurts so much .. It makes me wonder if this man still loves me?

Prospertochu:
I got my girlfriend then now wife pregnant, I wasn't ready for marriage. My plan was to take care of her and my baby while she stays in her father's house, her mother was fine with it as long as I take care of my responsibilities, but everything changed when the scan confirmed that she was carrying triples, her mother said I must marry her because there's no way her daughter will still under her roofs with 3 children.

I pleaded with her to give me sometimes to find my own accommodations because I was living in my father's family house after his demise I stay with his siblings while my mum left with my younger sister.

My mother in law refused saying I must do something fast because she doesn't want people to mocked her that her daughter has gotten pregnant out of wedlock not just with one baby but 3 so I managed to save enough money to get a place for our own but her mother refused saying I must pay her bride price first, I didn't have any more money so i have borrowed from friends and added to the money I had to pay for her bride price. It wasn't a big party just something small, I took my wife to my father family house where we are living now with our triplets but things hasn't been easy for me, taking care of 3 children it's not easy, I am grateful that I am rent free but household bills are killing me.

My wife and I are always arguing because she keeps asking for more money my salary is 55k I use to give her 20k monthly, 10 monthly to my mother and I use 20 and save 5k she said the money wasn't enough that I am stingy, I now started giving her 25k she is still complaining about the money not being enough. I refused giving her more she started staving me of sex and foods. My family are tired of separating us fighting almost every day, my uncle has asked us to leave the compound because we are disturbing there peace and I had to beg him to forgive us that ur shouldn't be happening again and I cautioned my wife but she is threatening to abandon me with the kids. I have told her to do her worse because I am tired of her madness. I wish I never married her in the first, all I could've do is to take care of my kids and let her be I know it's too late now to change the past but what should I do?

jondon11:
So I met my girl about a year ago during the start of the lockdown. We bonded real quick...she's easy-going, sorta smart, mad sexy and funny. Two months after we started dating, she moved in with me and began shuttling between my place and her sister's.

I work from home and my place is structured such that there's not much to do to maintain it. Although I work from home, I go out now and again for business and during my time out I run most of the errands...my girl ensures that it's only when I'm going out that she gets whatever she needs, from the market or errands around the area mainly cause she's often in a pant and bra watching a movie or just being lazy. She's a good cook but a lot of times I found chow coming late or not at all, and there was always raw food to prepare...sometimes her excuse for not cooking could be she couldn't get one ingredient or the other either because she didn't have cash on her or some other reason...there's mobile money just outside our gate and if she doesn't have the money she can call me to make a transfer but the main issue was laziness. I swept and mopped like 80% of the time, ran errands like 100%, cooked like 20% or the time (starved like 20% or sorted myself out someway), she did dishes 80% of the time and I brought like 100% of the money we lived on.

She is doing her MSc and our relationship started during the lockdown so she wasn't going to school. She was job searching (more like job waiting) so this gave her a lot of idle time which she spent watching Zee World or being on social media. I soon found a way to engage her in the job I do from home, and with the money she had saved in the bank (over 400K), she started work with me. I purchased a laptop for her for this purpose and so she could develop herself in other areas via online courses but she didn't do much work...working like two hours daily, very late at night...I sometimes complained but tried encouraging her as much as possible, especially when she made some success.

I'm sure you'd ask why I stayed in the relationship despite all of this? I was pussy whipped, had no other options given the nature of my work, saw some potential in her ( I know, a stupid thing to say) and thought I was in love (I'm 29 and shouldn't have been that stupid).

Fast forward to December last year, we discovered she was pregnant, a month pregnant. Told her we should keep the child and get married...she suggested we could abort since we weren't quite ready but I said what was a couple more months gonna make a difference?

Since then till now, we've been quarrelling non-stop, one issue after another of which it's mainly me raising the issues. Maybe it's the tension that comes from knowing I might be starting a family with so many unresolved issues. I've raised my concerns and told her she'd need to be more responsible in the relationship if things will work and even though she tells me she knows, I know deep down she doesn't mean it or might not be up to the task of being a married adult. From some of our talk she expects I'd take care of all the financial responsibilities and have suggested a couple of times we get help for chores (we've moved to a bigger space now) but I told her in clear terms that that's not how I imagined my life...having help for chores and the likes, besides, it's just a two-bedroom flat.

I've purchased some of the things we'd be needing for our wedding and we're supposed to do an introduction this coming week but I'm having cold feet and just want to call it off.

I'm bringing this here to know how I can manage this situation...I can be lazy but I'm a really ambitious person so this pushes me but my girl is not just lazy, but unambitious. How do I manage the situation...there's a child involved now and will need to consider the child but at the same time, I can't take on this much stress nor have my ambitions cut short because my partner is lazy.

What can I do??

adenigga:
https://m.guardian.ng/News/Plot-against-FG-thickens-as-lawyers-rally-support-for-Delta-State

AdesewaAde:
So recently, I’ve been having this feeling that my fiancé is a cheat, I’m not a type of woman who do choke my partner or check his phones cause I respect his privacy, even though he has always been checking my phone, going through my social media accounts and all other things, sometimes he will use my fingers to unlock my phone while sleeping just to go through it.

We’ve been dating since 2018, we became best of friends and our families are cool together, he is caring and jovial, he doesn’t hide things from me most especially financial issues, our social lives are almost the same, in short we are good together. We planned to do our engagement last year December but due to the way things were last year we postponed it and decided to pick another date, though I now spend half of my days at his place.

Fast forward to January this year, I started seeing some red signs that he is a cheat, many times I took his phone to unlock and go through since I know his passwords but I will drop it again cause there is no way I will check his phone without seeing things that will tamper with my peace of mind, since then, I’ve decided to open my eyes and ears more wider.

Later on , I discovered that anytime I am around, his phones were always on airplane mode, he only works on system, my heart started asking me different questions but I kept calm and I continued with my quest to catch him red handed, though I confronted him that he is cheating but he laughed at me and said 95% of men do cheat but he is among the remaining 5% that doesn’t.

Last month, we both decided to go on vacation, it was then I saw that I was actually in a relationship with a dog like person. There was a particular number that kept calling him, maybe he forgot to put the phone on airplane mode, at first I overlooked it but the number kept on calling about 59 times, it was then that I decided to pick it up and I heard a female voice, she said “you asshole, so you decided not to pick my calls because she is around, come online, I left you a message there” my heart skipped, who was she referring to as “she”? It was then I decided to unlock his phone for the first time and I just wish I didn’t do that, my eyes were heavy with tears as I was reading all sorts of conversations between him and different girls, not one, not two, not three, about ten of them, some even sent him nude pictures, he already bleeped some, some are still under format, two of them are new preys. I cried, many of them even know me, one even referred to me as his witch, I wept bitterly, I was on this weeping when he entered the room and saw me crying, all he could say was that how will I touch his phone in the first place.

He later apologised, after the much argument, I started parking my things to come back to out state, I told him I am done with the relationship, he started laughing at me and started shouting at the top of his voice “ babe you must be crazy, you are definitely out of your mind, how on earth must you think you can leave the relationship that I summoned up so much courage to ask you out? Listen woman, even if I cheat everyday, I can’t leave you, the truth is I will always cheat, I will apologise if been caught but I can’t ever place any woman above you,vI met our pastor in the hotel with another babe the last time I went to hotel for quickie with one chick, if pastors do cheat, who am I not to. At least you have the key to everything I have, if my parents can’t reach me, they will deliver the message to you, are you hungry? Are you looking rough? Do you want sex and I denied you? So what else should be your problem with me cheating “

I was short of words, he wasn’t even remorseful, I left there angrily and he kept calling, later he called his parents to explain the issues to them and they called me and pleaded, to make the situation worse his mom also said all men cheat. He has been threatening me that he won’t allow me to marry any other person, guys I’m really confused, please what can I do now, I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with a man who doesn’t have taste.

illicit:
Use this link....

It is legit


https://www.nphcdaict.com.ng/publicreg/

https://twitter.com/NphcdaNG/status/1366330842486833155?s=19[/quote]The way we manage data in Nigeria is somewhat annoying, you gave me BVN, Driver's license, NIN, Passport etc, yet you still ask me for information that is contained in all these documents.

badmusatari:
I was convinced by a topic on this thread https://www.nairaland.com/6433385/how-saved-brother-marrying-into/1

I went to Nigeria to bring my wife some years agom ever since we arrived it has always been money, money, materials, materials especially money. At some point my wife accused me of trying to separate her from her siblings. I told her that a time is coming she will be begging me to help her stop them. It has happened and is now happening. As a matter of fact I even brought her dad for a visit from Nigeria. Her dad was a God fearing person but the moment he started living with his oldest shameless and jobless son he has been brainwashed that her daughter and her husband owe them especially me. It's always about money, money, money. The oldest son is a jobless and shameless irresponsible man that impregnated a woman and they now have four kids. I have even got a job for him from here but he refused to go and work there in Nigeria.

Not minding the fact that he even have other siblings in abroad. One of those in abroad is always in support of this stupid irresponsible oldest guy but the other one is a very intelligent person and knows the whole truth.

If you send money to the dad now trust me he will request another in less than a week which obviously the irresponsible was the one telling the dad what to say. There was no time my wife or me or we call the dad that the irresponsible will not pretend he's not there but will put the phone on speaker so he can listen to our concert with the dad. All he's doing is yahoo and Yahoo. The second born there with him is a little bit fair but they all the same.

They always have this strong believe that their sister who is my wife owe them because they always says they took care of her. This is one of the reasons their sister who is my wife and the other siblings in abroad are yet to build a house for their dad. The oldest irresponsible always cause trouble, tell lies and create issues that the dad will be telling his children abroad that he's gonna curse them if they don't build house for him or send certain mount on so so so date. I am really tired and confused. Enough is enough because I also have my own family to look after. Even a bike I never buy sef.

I am beginning to regret getting married in the first place. I love my wife and we have been together for over a decade and half even before we get married. But my wife is now their enemy because she always turn them down now. Infarct of I mention the irresponsible man's name or talk about se don't a penny to them she will go mad for days. Everythinf about them is money, money, money, build house for our dad, etc. The guy is now a yahoo + man over 40 yrs with no future and still unambitious.

My wife and I have wasted a lot of money on his travelling but he doesn't even care. Imagine all the siblings in abroad have been sending money for their dad's house rent only for the landlord to tell us that this guy's has never paid a kobo for almost two years. All he's about is to drink fvck and club.. very dirty hungry looking guy. They never appreciate anything indo for them, instead it's always more more and more. There was a time this guy tried to fight me but I just ignored him.and since then I never talk to him again till now. But they are bullying my wife emotionally that she cries almost everyday now uptill this morning when I asked her what happened and she told me that her brother the irresponsible man sent a nasty message to her.

But the other ones in another will always tell her that she and them need to take care of their dad and must send him money regardless of who highjack it as long as God knows they did the right thing, please how does this make sense? I need opinion on this in particular. How could you be sending money to the dad when you know that the idiot is the one that will collect and spend the money because he's with the dad's ATM card? Does that make sense?

I only pity one of the two siblings in another country that always support him and that one's wife have started complaining to my wife too because they gist a lot.

Sad

ProudBoy:
Bola Bamigbola


https://punchng.com/breaking-omisore-defects-to-apc/

Nemere2020:
https://ait.live/just-in-fg-begins-nationwide-townhall-meetings-on-insecurity/amp/?__twitter_impression=true

spyglaxx:
What of samson and Delilah?


What of Brother segun after having grown up children decided to carry one campus babe. He ended up selling all his commercial vehicles, ran into debt, ran into depression and death.


Baba Rashidi caught thunderbolt and died. The wife is so well to do.

Some will not learn untill it is too late.

Ddokie:
They will not resurrect, they will only be buried.

On a more serious note though, what this man has said is true. Many destinies are going to be destroyed this night. It is not as if everyone who gets into an immoral sexual act is done for or has lost his/her path in life completely because our God is a God of second chance, and a God of restoration. But some people are going to miss their paths permanently because tonight is either going to be their first time of having sex or a night where they will be drawn back into the sin of fornication.

Becoming sexually active before marriage has not added value to anybody, but has destroyed many lives. And tonight, quite unfortunately, a lot of people are going to be introduced to that "ritual" that brings great pleasure but is paradoxically a "konuko-pia" of problems.

May the Holy Spirit give strength to those who are being pressured to give in tonight.

Kwanza:
https://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2021/02/06/atiku-appeals-to-buhari-dont-shut-down-cryptocurrency-business/

BluntCrazeMan:
Please, I want to know.
..
Especially for Non-Muslims that are living in the Northern Nigerian States like Kano State..

NOTE:
(Please Mods,, don't push this thread to the Islamic Section. Please... I take God Beg Una.)

feedthenation:
---There's no perfect church---and churches aren't meant to be perfect either---Jesus Christ had 12 disciples---amongst whom where zealots---one stealing from the common purse---one with serious anger issues etc---