Celebrities › Re: Uche Maduagwu Reacts To Psquare's Plan To Shut Down O2 Arena by gabicon: 3:49pm On Mar 09, 2022 |
FishLaps: “The game has changed since you left” – Uche Maduagwu tells Psquare over plans to shut down O2 Arena.
Controversial actor, Uche Maduagwu, has reacted to a recent statement made by Nigerian singer, Peter Okoye, claiming that he and his brother, Paul, will shut down the O2 Arena even without new songs.
Paul Okoye had taken to Twitter to brag that Psquare would easily shut down O2 Arena following the success of Davido’s concert.
“We don’t need to shut down O2. We are only going to close it down; with or without new songs! Legend is Legend…Team P-SQUARE”, his tweet read in part[color=#000000].[/color]
However, Uche Maduagwu who is of the opinion that it would be hard for the music duo to have a sold-out concert at the O2 Arena took to his Instgram page to advise them.
According to him, the music industry has changed since Psquare went their separate ways years ago, and oly came back last year. In his words,
Source: https://www.instagram.com/uchemaduagwu/ Shutting down O2 has to do with international appeal, Big Wiz, Buena boy, David, Nairamarley all have international appeal. P square with all due respect don't because they were in hiatus for almost 5 years and it's in that timeframe other musicians were building their international reputation. P can shut down any African country but shutting down O2 is way above their league right now. |
Education › Re: Landmark University Didn't Allow Students Write Exams For Missing Roll Call by gabicon: 3:56am On Mar 04, 2022 |
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Politics › Re: 2023: Abaribe Mocked For Endorsing Atiku's Presidential Aspiration by gabicon: 3:48am On Mar 04, 2022 |
Smart man, Atiku is the only hope for an Igbo presidency, that's if he keeps his word. Reality is dawning already. |
Family › Re: I Want To Peacefully Divorce My Husband by gabicon: 9:00am On Mar 03, 2022 |
loosingfaith519: I recently discovered my husband has an addiction and I can't stay married to him. As soon as money enters his hand, he starts funding some online app and start gambling. We got married last year Nov. We have needs and plans we agreed to achieve before the end of March. Which a better accommodation is one of our first goal. Our present accommodation is not ok at all. On my own part, I'm saving to meet up with our Target, but I discovered, he has nothing. He collected contributions last month, over 200k. All that money wasted. He can't account for it. January salary has entered, he has started wasting it again.
I'm expecting him to provide 300k at the end of this month. So, that when I sum it with mine, we can have over 600k. Get a decent accommodation and invest the rest. We need to plan, save for our baby, but his attitude with money is not encouraging me. The truth is, my husband is stressing me for lack of accountability.
Pls, how do I go about a peaceful divorce? I'm confused, because I'm pregnant.
All the things I'm seeing him do, suffocate me. What do I do? Pls, advise me. The big problem here is that you both don't share the same value when it come to money and value creation, he believes in luck you believe in saving. The bigger problem is that you both don't have a family system in place for your home. One of the constituents of a family system is a financial system, how are you going to finance your family is an unanswered question in your family. It's usually easier to develop a financial system before marriage but it's better late than never. You both need to sit dow like the adults you are with a laptop and spreadsheet, table your total income, segment the income to encompass daily survival like rent, food, savings, investments, children, project, utilities, personal allowance etc. If he decides to gamble away his personal allowance that's his business but it shouldn't affect the running of the family. A financial goal (like getting a better apartment) is not a financial system, a financial goal is a project in a family financial system. Make sure that the sheet is shared between both parties, as financial status changes so does the financial system, I recommend a review every year or during emergencies. One person controls the accounts the other person gets the mail's n alerts for the account. Accountability is key to the success of a family system. I don't think that a divorce is the solution to every marital problems, I can guarantee you that a new partner will come with their own baggage. A proper family system will save one from many of these headaches. I will suggest you talk to a professional counselor, checkout Praise Fowowe organisation, they offer professional help. God bless you |
Family › Re: Can You Marry A Man Who Lives In His Family House? by gabicon: 6:41pm On Feb 28, 2022 |
BluntTheApostle: A few weeks back, my niece brought a man to me and introduced him as the one she wishes to marry.
Her father died while she was about 15, and I have been the one taking care of her, through school and all. So, she sees me as her father.
Alright, so she brought this young man to me. I have nothing against him. He is finishing up a master's degree, and even though he is not into anything really specific (he is a hustler sort of a person, combining different jobs), I do not have a problem with that. He appears focused, and really hardworking.
However, the problem is that he does not have a place of his own, and does not appear to have any plans in that direction.
So, last week, I asked him a whole lot of questions, and it appears like he would be marrying my baby, and she would live with him in their family house. Other families living there include the man's aged parents, some uncles and aunties, and their children. He was not specific whether aunties or uncles included blood relations and their spouses. I didn't press him on that.
Now, I have also sat my niece down, and had a chat with her. She is only 20+ (would be 21 in June). I tried to be as neutral as possible, but I may have been too blunt sometimes because she has been defensive, including accusing me of not wanting to fund the wedding.
Her mother reasons with me, but the girl has become deaf. She doesn't want to listen.
My point is that the wedding can be put on hold till the young man makes a firm decision on accommodation. All this: "I will consider it; I am considering it; it is a part of my plan" is not conclusive at all, and I don't want her to go and start her married life under the same roof with so many people.
The man is 30 (although he looks older to me), and I am beginning to feel that he is manipulating her.
What do you think?
Which of you has experienced living in your husband's family house? How was the experience?
For me, I think of it just like living in a polygamous family, and it makes me uneasy because this girl is too young, and too fragile.
Your opinions and experiences are highly welcome.
It may be all that I would need to reach a decision concerning this knotty issue. Sometimes as a parent or guardian you need to save your ward from themselves. That famil will use her till she ages beyond recognition, a young wife in the most of old people? She will wash, clean, cook, baby sit, run errands, care for the Sick etc. All she presently see is love but life is hanging around the corner. Put your foot down that no accomodation no wedding and let her mum do the same. |
Politics › Re: Tinubu: Buhari Should Hand Over Power To Me by gabicon: 9:05pm On Feb 25, 2022 |
Two words Nigeria politicians use that scare me, POWER and RULE. I will rather they used leadership and lead, nobody who has ruled Nigeria has ever done well. |
Politics › Re: Africa Needs Third World War More Than Every Other Continent. Adamu Garba by gabicon: 4:32pm On Feb 24, 2022 |
obembet: Adamu Garba, formal presidential aspirant on the platform of the APC who formally declared his intention to run for the country’s president in 2023 has discuss the Third War III has big advantage for Africa.
Adamu Garba share this on his Facebook page
Here is what he wrote
Most of you don’t know that Africa needs the Third World War more than every other continent on the planet. We were nothing in the first and the second, that’s why we remained poor and abandoned. WW3 is an opportunity for Africa.
Source: https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10225419614292987&id=1103719094&sfnsn=scwspmo the statement is very reckless, the Americans benefitted by providing significant military supplies and other assistance to the Allies, that's before they were attacked. Africa lacks the capacity to produce, so how do we benefit from a war? In fact, I can boldly say that these people will come and get soldiers to help them fight from Africa. |
Politics › Re: 2023: Is Rochas Okorocha The Best Candidate From South-East? by gabicon: 3:21pm On Feb 23, 2022 |
Itopalucky: Senator Rochas recently went to the Nigerian public. He announced to the Nigerian people his desire to serve as president.
Aspirants to the presidency these days, all go to Aso Villa as a new kind of pilgrimage. The senator though did the right thing. President Buhari would like him. It was a big plus for their political party. He detailed his guiding beliefs to the Nigerian people and put forward a brief account of the programs he thinks is mandatory to take the country to greatness. An envious critic said he thought he was Obama. No, it is called doing things right. It is the revolutionary way, to benchmark - a point of reference against which things may be assessed.
Senator Rochas Okorocha understands that true allegiance is owed to the people and to the constitution. All the time he has shown regard to any and all Nigerian presidents as well as reverence for the highest office of the land. However he does not sell himself short. That has made Rochas to be the candidate for the youth. Even those who are not his active supporters, admit that he is one senator who wears that toga with the dignity and gravitas of the office. He thrives on challenge and constantly sets goals for himself.
This is no longer the era where political office holders point to kilometers of roads built or dilapidated school blocks they have renovated as achievement in office. These things are the barest essential thing to do in public office.
When he was governor in Imo state, he rather showed remarkable courage in doing whatever needed to be done. To a visitor, Owerri the state capital seemed to be defined by one or two major roads only. Governor Rochas carried out a robust and courageous town-planning expansion to the city that was remarkable. He was very deliberate and careful in doing the work. In fact it became the pin-up piece for architects and town planners. This kind of courage and vision is essential, in fact necessary for today's president.
In his agenda, the senator Rochas places a high premium on education. How did South Korea develop so quickly? That country has almost no natural resources but has nonetheless a high population density in its territory. So similarly in our case Rochas wants a highly motivated and educated populace to spur high tech boom and bring rapid economic development. Senator Okorocha seems to like what President Buhari has achieved in agriculture. He has elaborated on his plans for security, on law and order, on what to do to grow the economy and achieve our rise to greatness.
In a political season that has pitted merit against zoning, Senator Rochas Okorocha has taken the option out of the thing. He is the choice that satisfies the zoning consensus without sacrificing merit. He straddles both options. So what is left obviously, is for the South East to get their ducks in a row and for the party to which the Owelle Rochas Okorocha belongs to understand its zeitgeist, the defining political spirit or mood of the time we are in. http://2023.ng/2022/02/23/how-can-nigeria-choose-rochas/ Lol, chief statue erector. |
Christianity Etc › Re: Pastors Wife Or Junior Pastor, who should be in charge? by gabicon: 9:25am On Feb 21, 2022 |
Barrister026: Pastors wife wants the junior pastor to be reporting to her if her husband is not around or any issue at all during church service.
She try as much to be in charge when her husband is off in another Church to minister.
This nearly caused a problem in the church today, while I was going home surprisingly a friend of mine supported the pastor's wife.. that she's the first lady of the church of God if her husband is not around. she can represent him anytime to coordinate like most churches
What's your take on this issue is it right? It clearly shows the church has a weak governance structure. The pastor should be like the CEO, the next in line is the coo, the next CFO, next GGM operations etc. The pastor and his wife can choose to be co-CEO, meaning if pastor is not around wife is in charge. Majority of churches I have attended, the pastors wife is usually a problem the congregation have to tolerate. The pastor simply has to make it clear who is the next leader of the organisation. |
Romance › Re: Why Are People With Good Hearts Always Unlucky In A Relationship by gabicon: 11:59am On Feb 20, 2022 |
Liyastitches: From my point of view, it is because they are gullible most of the time,they tend to trust easily and overlook the hand writing on the wall.
It's also a test from God to know if your 'good heart' can stand the test of time, because good attitude attract both good and bad, but never give up doing good, if those you are doing good to does not deserve it. I think the bigger issue is the confusing people who are naive with having a good heart. |
Jobs/Vacancies › Re: Are Nigerian Graduates Employable? by gabicon: 4:40pm On Feb 11, 2022 |
mollie12: Everybody knows unemployment is a big issue in this country. So many are searching for jobs long after completion of tertiary education and youth service, with few offers in sight.
We come over here to complain about the lack of job opportunities. But my experience over the past 4 months in this arena has been very interesting.
On average, hiring managers forward 3-4 job vacancies/offers to me each week, asking me for candidates I can refer to them for one job opportunity or the other.
I just moved cities and changed jobs within Nigeria, and my experience on my previous job and the new one is the same: the HR department has a LOT of open roles. They are looking for job candidates but cannot find any.
One of the HR staff keeps coming to our side of the office almost every day that they are looking for candidates to fill this role, do we know anyone to refer?
Only yesterday I was speaking with a manager on a job I'd left 2 years ago. He was complaining that he had roles to fill but didn't have candidates. I had a similar conversation with yet another ex-supervisor of mine - looking for staff for a new team he was putting together.
And it makes one wonder: so many jobs, so few qualified candidates? Or what exactly is going on?
Like I said, the last 4 months have given me a clue to what is going on.
Over the last 4 months, I have had to seek staff for short-term roles. And my experience has been lamentable. Horror stories. I could write a book on them.
The number of candidates that talk a good game but cannot deliver scrap, that promise Mount Everest but deliver an anthill - is appalling.
Initially, I kept an open mind and was willing to take people on their word, and trust that they would be reliable enough to deliver. I wanted to open up opportunities for young people to earn income commensurate to their skills. I actually had a dream to through my short-term role opportunities, nurture a pipeline of promising talent that I can whole-heartedly refer to my previous colleagues and managers who come to me seeking job candidates because they have done great work I can vouch for (I don't just refer anyone because these people come to me because they know I do quality work and value quality work and will only refer quality talent to them - I have a reputation to protect).
But after quite a few false starts and hundreds of thousands of naira down the drain, I have to ask myself: are our graduates really employable?
From my experience, and those of others, here are a few ways our graduates shoot themselves in the foot and deny themselves a chance of a rewarding job opportunity or offer:
1. Lack a can-do attitude. I remember once contacting a job candidate who had applied to fill a role to do a preliminary interview. I could tell from his CV that he had almost no experience, but the job to be done was not that technical so I felt this is something someone that learns fast can do. On calling him and explaining the work to be done in detail, imagine what the fellow told me? He sighed and started grumbling and hissing "I don't think I can do this kind of work o". And this was basic research and data gathering oo, work every university graduate would have done in their final year. I just jejely left him.
I wonder why a graduate looking for work would act that way. This is a job you sent your CV for, no one forced you to send it in. The least you could do is do research on what the role entails, and convey confidence when your interviewer calls by explaining that even though you have limited experience, you can learn quickly. I guess he wasn't really looking. But these are those people will look at, and say the Nigerian system has failed job seekers.
2. Lack a growth mindset (allergic to learning and constructive feedback). I have noticed this trend with youths, particularly in the 21-28 age range. They do not know how to handle feedback on their work output well. If you tell them their work needs improvement, they act like you have slapped them in the face. And when I see this sort of reaction I just want to shake them and tell them: you are too young to be thinking your work will be perfect from scratch! That's the value of time and experience - it improves the quality of work. You work cannot be 100% at the first attempt or even the second attempt, but with refinement, feedback, work and skills get better. But these ones will go around to report you to others that you are wicked or other falsehoods, meanwhile, you are only looking out for their own progress. (Let me iterate here that I do constructive feedback - I don't shout or insult or put down people's personalities in the name of feedback because I know this is not helpful: it only destroys self-esteem. So I am referring to normal, even-toned, dispassioned feedback. And this is the feedback they take offense with. SMH)
3. Religious fanaticism. You hear of candidates that tell interviewers that they cannot come to work on Fridays. Or that they have to leave early on Wednesdays for choir practice. Meanwhile, the first interviewer is a Muslim, and the second interviewer is a Christian, a church deacon. Imagine what the interviewers think of such candidates. When these candidates get the job rejection, they will be consoling themselves that they are facing persecution for their faith, not knowing that what they are facing is the consequence of stupidity.
That's all I will say on this one. In all things, apply wisdom.
4. Entitlement mentality. I think this is an issue I will blame the motivational speakers on Twitter, Instagram, and LinkedIn for. They have sold this stupendous idea to young people that they can get a job that will earn them millions with almost zero experience. They convince them to toss aside "low-paying" jobs and demand to be paid "their worth". They lie to them that only paid internships should be pursued.
Let me clarify something here. I absolutely hate the idea of jobs that pay graduates what can barely take them home. But the unfortunate reality is that in a capitalist market, money follows value. People will pay you a high salary because they believe you will deliver a high value to their company. Not because you hold a certificate paper, because everyone holds that, and you know what they say about supply and demand. If you don't have in-demand, hot skills that are scarce, be ready to take up that peanut-paying job and that unpaid internship to learn what you need to learn to be in demand. It is called stooping to conquer.
But many job candidates don't understand the market they are in yet. So they struggle in this area.
5. Poor work ethic. This is one I can write a book on. It appears many graduates don't understand that employers employ them to ADD value. So they engage in behaviors that erode or destroy value for their employer. And wonder why no one wants to hire them. What is value to an employer? Time and Trust.
How is the value of Time and Trust eroded? i. By missing deadlines. This is when someone is asked to complete a task by 3 pm on Wednesday, but instead, completes it and send it by 5 pm on Friday. And does not apologize or communicate ahead of time that there will be a delay so their employer can manage the impact. Time is money - this is unacceptable behavior ii. By being unreliable. This is connected to the above in a way. When a supervisor gives work to you, they want to be able to go elsewhere and come back assured that you will do the exact work. But sometimes, there is no communication, and after the time elapses, the work is not done. When your employer has to engage in prayer and fasting for you to deliver your work on time and in good quality, know you won't last long. You are creating too much stress.
6. Refusal to self-develop. In the world we are living in, the biggest disservice you can do to yourself is to end your personal learning and development with a BSc or BA. Even if you cannot afford a Master's program, there are so many free online courses that allow one to take up relevant digital skills (mind you, digital skills go beyond software programming, so there are skills for you if you absolutely hate the idea of coding).
And even asides from digital skills, there are so many other things to learn to become workplace-ready (employable). You need to learn business writing, proper verbal and written communication skills, telephone and email etiquette, emotional intelligence, team and collaboration skills. And all of these are available - for FREE! - on this internet. Same internet all of us are using. So it is always disappointing when I encounter a job seeker who has been searching for years but in all this time of searching, did not set apart time to ensure they have the workplace skills to succeed.
After all my plenty story, I'm still hoping we do have employable Nigerian graduates out there. Those that know better than to fall into the above-listed traps. What do you think? Share in the comments I quite agree with your submissions, however some of the attitudinal problems are as a result of demoralisation. The average has seen uncles, aunties, brothers and sisters search for jobs for years with finding and these people drum it in their ear that there is no work, it's only a matter of time their confidence and believe system gets messed up. Secondly, we do not have enough graduate job opportunities for our graduates to start from. About a 250k graduates or more finish nysc every year, were are we going to place them? In fact, I can boldly say that the problem we have is unemployment not unemployability. We can't ask people who have not worked before to have skills that can only be developed from work. We need a lot of retraining post school. |
Politics › Re: Inside FG’s Planned Social Media Regulation Bill - The Cable by gabicon: 6:15pm On Feb 10, 2022 |
Social media like any other media should be regulated, however it can't be regulated by people who don't have a clue about how it works. Especially a government that has been thirsty for clamping down on free speech. |
Politics › Re: 2023: Atiku’s Associates Write PDP, Say Only Ex-VP Can Win Presidential Election by gabicon: 11:28am On Feb 10, 2022 |
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Celebrities › Re: Mo Abudu Reacts To Allegations Of Sleeping With Politicians by gabicon: 1:29pm On Feb 07, 2022 |
Omihanifa: Media personality, Mo Abudu has finally reacted to allegations of sleeping with politicians in a bid to get to the top.
Recall that in September 2021, the EbonyLife TV CEO was accused of having back-to-back amorous relationships with Lagos State governors and other top politicians.
According to Gistlovers, it’s these men who paved the way for her tremendous successes.
However, Abudu didn’t react to the claim as at the time it was trending, rather she chose to reiterate her brilliance and ingenuity.
In a recent development, speaking with Chude Jideonwo, Mo Abudu claimed to be undisturbed about the rumours rather her major concern is among ladies who may believe these allegations.
She said:
“I listen to my mum a lot and she is wise. She says, leave them, no one knows how water gets in the coconut so I won’t waste my time thinking about what anyone said, those that know me know me and anyone saying trash doesn’t know me…people were calling me to find out if there is something serious happening and I’m like, you guys, I am very okay. Yes, it can be painful because of the young girls that look up to me. I don’t want the young girls to look up to me to think that this is what I have done and if they do I worry about that because how do you do the work we have done?….
We at Ebony life studios have over 30 international projects in development from Netflix to Will smith’s company, to Sony and some not announced yet, incredible projects. I get calls every day, about how the western world works when they find someone doing magic, your information spreads and they want to work with you and that is our mission to be global not just Nigerian and African vision. I am getting busy here so let them keep getting busy with their cook up stories.
Like the Hushpuppi story, many other brands bided for it on the international scene but we won it because I, Mo was involved….we are not justifying what he did but what we are saying is that it is a story that needs to be told cos there are many lessons both good or bad for the youths.”
https://www.gistlover.com/mo-abudu-finally-reacts-to-allegations-of-sleeping-with-ambode-dino-and-other-politicians/ People speculate what they don't understand, to be successful in the Nigerian business space you need some affinity with the political class, now Dangote, Otedola, Adenuga, Abdulsamad, Alakija etc all understand this and fraternize with the political class. I think the only crime of Mo is that she is flashy and pretty, I will suggest that people go through her professional profile, transitioning from corporate leadership to business leadership is no easy feat. |
Celebrities › Re: Zubby Michael Spends ₦8.5 Million At A Restaurant In Lagos by gabicon: 1:20pm On Feb 07, 2022 |
perryy: Like cabana, he is a drug lord Do you have evidence to backup this claim? I'm certain Mr Cubana runs a club and them clubs make a lot of money. |
Celebrities › Re: Zubby Michael Spends ₦8.5 Million At A Restaurant In Lagos by gabicon: 12:22pm On Feb 07, 2022 |
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Travel › Re: The Saudi Arabians Treat Us Like Animals - Black African Maids Cry Out For Help by gabicon: 10:31am On Feb 07, 2022 |
IhateYouMan: Photos shown below are in the following order :
1. "Saudi children kids used to call me 'the black' when I would visit shops": Sudanese migrant worker Mohammed Hassan, 44, worked in marketing in Saudi Arabia from 2006-2017Credit: Sebastian Castelier
2. Migrant workers, like these in Dubai, often live in isolated, substandard, overcrowded conditions with poor healthcare access. During COVID lockdowns they were isolated, often hungry and unpaidCredit: REUTERS
3. 'The grandmother thinks I am dirty because I am black. It is so humiliating, I am a human being': Kenyan citizen Brenda Carol Adhiambo worked from 2019-2021 for a Saudi household in DammamCredit: Sebastian Castelier
4. "The worst was the grandmother [...] She is sick, so rude and racist. She thinks I am dirty because I am black and would not let me drink from her glasses; but I washed them! It is so humiliating. I am a human being. Africans need to start making decisions based on facts and not on emotions or religion. There are fundamental systems that make up every nation, the minute we deviate from those systems dire consequences follow irrespective of our paradigm of the system. If a country is racist, no matter how important you are, you will have a taste of it in a form or fashion. A system is the interconnected components that make up a society, a system is amoral, they are the normalized average of the society. so if one goes into a system hostile to women or a particular race, you don't come out crying foul, that has been the way the system has operated time innumerable. rants of foul play to the public is simply a waste of time. A system cannot be changed without, systems are only changed within by changing the normalized average of society. The Arabs, Russians, Chinese are core racists, Scandinavians and other parts of Europe are tolerant racists, Canada, Australia, and the USA are subtle racists, Africans are foolish racists. So before going to any of the countries in the world it is critical that adequate research is done to understand the systems governing that country at least that's what sane people do, but trusts our brethren in Africa we go by hope, faith, and emotions only to be greeted by the resultants of the systems. The unfortunate part of the whole thing is that we don't even observe the dynamics of our own system here at home, if we did we most likely wouldn't be going outside to look for what we can create here. Imagine working for $240/month, you will have to work for half a year to afford a plane ticket back home. |
Family › Re: My Wife Records Our Argument by gabicon: 11:39am On Feb 03, 2022 |
Ogalanyaidi: First I want peace in my home and I've been enjoying relative peace in my home.
I've been married for less than a year. I called my wife to discuss how we could keep the house clean and I went on to tell her that she puts things where they shouldn't be. She got upset and called her mum, she was crying while speaking with her mum over the phone.
Her mom called and we both made peace I discovered that she was recording our argument but I chose not to confront her there and then.
A day later, I asked why she was recording me and she lied but I gave her facts and she agreed. She said if I've nothing to fear why am I being upset about it. She said I should record her too cus she observed that when we speak to her mum after an incident I don't say the whole truth.
We both live overseas and she is the only person I've here.
I want peace in my home and I don't like trouble I'm afraid you are married to a mummy's girl who isn't ready to let go of her mother's apron. I guess you both didn't discuss about conflict resolution before you got married. Here is the thing mate, you guys need to creat a family system for your family. The family system will encompass how you are going to run your family, it may consist of conflict resolution, sex life finance, child training, career etc. The sooner you do this the better you will enjoy your marriage. |
Politics › Re: Banditry: I Killed Over 20, But I Have Repented - Naziru Sani by gabicon: 1:54pm On Feb 02, 2022 |
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Romance › Re: My Engagement Is About To Be Broken by gabicon: 10:15am On Feb 01, 2022 |
Beautifulearth: Met my girl 2yrs ago and we apparently love each other but I’m worried due to some factors I noticed…..
She’s from a dysfunctional family (Mother is a single mom who left her home because her husband married another wife and Her Sister is currently in her third marriage with 3 kids from 3diff men).
She’s insisting on doing things we agreed she wouldn’t do, she was using leg chain when we met and she stopped it because I told her I don’t like it(I don’t like ashawo vibez like 2-3neckchains, leg chains and piercing) now she’s insisting on doing some of them which led to a great misunderstanding between us which we still trying to resolve.
And lastly we do have little quarrels a lot even tho most would be settled because we both have anger issues and sometimes get physical with each other because she will lash out and will try to want to stand up and fight you like a man and my mom really doesn’t like her because of her quarrelsome attitude and only support me because I love her……..we stayed this long because I never suspect or caught her guilty of infidelity(I go through her phone unaware and she never gave me a reason to suspect her) which is a trait I always wanted above others in a woman. We are a product of where we originate from, until we are unsatisfied with the outcomes of our origin and decide to make the necessary changes. The strongest for that holds a marriage together or destroys it is shared values. If you both don't share the same values, you aren't meant to be together. |
Romance › Re: I'm So Addicted To Prostitutes. I Feel Suicidal. by gabicon: 11:41am On Jan 26, 2022 |
Tired2022: I'm a scientist, so I know I'm clearly addicted. I just had to create this account to stay anonymous because what I'm about to spill is so shameful to me. Even worse, is that I don't know what the end will be because I lack total control of my third leg.
Alright guys, my dick is my only problem right now. In fact I feel so depressed and traumatised.
I have everything going well for me, I make enough money to buy just anything moderate. I have not been to the hospital for over a decade because the need never arised.
So what's my problem? I can't answer that question because I'm so confused. I know I'm addicted to prostitutes and I haven’t been able to tame this dick of mine.
I'm a very shy guy, I find it hard to socialize with men not to talk off the opposite sex. So, I started with masturbation which lasted over a decade. Then I started making good money, I felt masturbation wasn't what I want, that I had to stop it.
I started visiting prostitutes. Its over 5yrs now, and all I want is to Bleep them all. Yeah, that's how I feel. Bleep all the women, yet I can't even approach one. So, I go for the easy way, prostitutes!
My biggest problem right now, isn't that I'm so addicted to prostitutes or spending money (over 70k every month), but I have had 35 prostitutes without protection. I'm so mad right now because I just bleeped a public toilet without protection. It's the only reason I decided to share this with you all. I'm sufferingggg...............
I have decided to get a girlfriend, I wish to marry next year, but I'm so ashamed, I don’t deserve any woman. Apart from the prostitutes I had without protection, I have had sex with 102 prostitutes in total. And I'm just 33yrs. Gosh! I feel so dirty!
I'm so obsessed with women, and I feel masturbation is the culprit. I fear more that I may not stop even if I have the most beautiful girl on earth by my side. I read the story of a lady who claimed her husband was obsessed with prostitutes in Canada, it shocked me so hard.
Is there anyone who has faced same predicament as mine? How did you win? No woman is safe with me, not even minors because I can't control this dick of mine.
Without alcohol, prostitutes are never attractive to me. So, I must take some alcohol to be in the mood.
Last night, on my regular routine, after drinking alcohol, I met this chubby lady. She was so sexy. I told her exclusively, I find it hard having sex without condom, that I only wanted her to give me a handjob. I pay well, so this girls know me already, it's a fight to have me in their room.
She gave me a Mouth Gig which I wasn't okay with, but I felt save to some extent. After giving me Mouth Gig for a long while, I didn't reach climax. I started mastubating, hoping to reach climax. Still it didn't happen. The lady was already like, f××k me without condom, but don’t release inside. I was contemplating in my mind, Gosh! Not again. Eventually, I reasoned, f××k it! I had her without protection and it took less than 5 minutes for me to reach climax.
This is exactly the same scenario that plays out in all my shameful adventures with these women. And I'm so feld up right now.
I can go on and on, but I don't like writing long epistles. Gosh! I have sex evey 2 days! I can't even go just 1 week without sex. Although I haven’t masturbated in the last 5 yrs, addiction to prostitutes is killing me. How do I even stop this whole sh××t? I feel suicidal.
Please note, it took me a whole lot to share my problem here. I won't take it funny with anyone who says this isn't real. I just want your honest opinion (castigation or advice), please state it. If you don't have anything to say, please and please keep your mouth shot.
I want more opinion on my predicament. Thanks! To really solve this problem, you need to go down memory lane and find the root cause of the problem, and it starts by asking the right questions. Were you trained in seclusion? Did your parents talk down on you? Were you forbidden to talk to the opposite sex? Were you constrained to always being indoor? Did you have friends while growing up? Were you brought up in an overly religious background? Answers to questions like this will go a long way to understanding your problem and finding a solution. |
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Family › Re: My Marriage Is On The Verge Of Crashing. by gabicon: 1:23pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
Noah9: I want to thank everyone for their advice and I really appreciate everyone involvement about the thread I created 2week ago. Here is the link. https://www.nairaland.com/6933724/regretted-actions-please-me
Great people of this forum, honestly things have never been better ever since that incident and I wish our minds are like show glass so that y'all would see how sorry I am inside of me. I messed up and I'm really sorry.
5 days after I created that post above, My wife traveled with my daughter to her parents house to stay without telling me. Since that incident my wife haven't said a word to me, Not a single word. Sometimes I wonder if she's the same woman I married. I'm frustrated, incoherent and I'm losing my mind.
I've been good to her, I provide 85% for my family while she bring just 15% yet I don't complain, I'm romantic and good looking, since we married I don't keep female friends not to talk of cheating. Yet She denied me sex over 2 months without any reasons, that was why I acted that way and I'm so sorry.
On Tuesday here, My friend and I traveled to her parents house, they did not even welcome us well, I don't know what she must have told her parents but I explained myself, knelt down and asked for forgiveness.
She refused to come home with me, her parents were just starring at me like I'm some demon, I requested for my daughter but she refused to release her and I've already paid my daughter's school fees for the term. Her parents said they would register my daughter in a new school, that my wife need some space for now.
Please don't call me a weak man, I'm family oriented, I don't want broken home, if she needed some space that's not a problem, I can give her all the space in the world but let her come home. It's not proper raising a child in a broken home...I'm really losing my mind.
I faced query today at work because I traveled without informing my Boss which I know he won't allow me and I know how much would be deducted from my salary. what I'm going through now I can't wish my enemies and I wish I could turn back the hands of time. I messed up.
Beloveth Pls I need advice. Remove every iota of macho from yourself, you might have been a lion before, now you are a kitten. You need to work on yourself, if someone (God forbid) raped your daughter will you welcome them warmly into your home? it is only natural to be cold. Why brag about providing for your family? It is your responsibility you are supposed to do so, that is what it a man does. Dude sorry doesn't fix this problem. you need to understand that she doesn't trust you anymore, a lot of questions will be running through her mind like how many women have you raped? Is my daughter safe with him? what other bad habit has he been hiding? The thought of sex with you will be horrifying to her. So many thoughts. The problem is fixable but as a wound takes time to heal, so will this situation take time to heal. However, sometimes wounds don't heal and get infected, other times an amputation will be required to salvage things it all depends on how you handle the matter. First of all, I will suggest you go for anger/emotional management counseling to fix where rape came from. Secondly, go report yourself to the person your wife and yourself differ in authority to, it might be an older couple, a mentor, a spiritual leader, a senior uncle/aunty to prevail on the parents. Her closest friends must have heard of the situation already, they won't want to talk to you, talk to their husbands and ask for help, let them know you have done the first step, which is getting help. Thirdly, do not abandon your responsibility to her and your daughter, make sure their needs are met. Fourthly, have the perception that you are single at the moment so also is your wife, you are basically trying to woo her. So all the things you will do to catch a babe you have to start doing it again, send her flowers, compose poems, tell her how much she means to you, buy her random gifts, tell her how you are undeserving of her. What you are trying to do is re-establish a line of communication, once you can get her talking to you 30% of your problems are solved. Fifthly, once the line of communication is established, you now have to work on building trust, she is going to snap at you many times, be cold to sex many times, even disrespect you, it is all a price that you will have to pay. But when she begins to trust you, she is going to adore you. Get to work on this process asap, the process is a lengthy one and could take more than a year to fix the basic components. If you require further help try and contact Praise Fowowe on Facebook, he is a professional in dealing with issues like these. I wish you the best. |
Politics › Re: Lai Mohammed’s Faction Kicks As Abdulrazaq Begins Re-Election Bid by gabicon: 9:30am On Jan 17, 2022 |
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Travel › Re: Nigerians Denied Work Permits In UAE Frustrated, Stranded, Borrow Money To Live by gabicon: 7:17pm On Jan 16, 2022 |
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Business › Re: GTB Vs Innoson: Supreme Court Rules In Favour Of GTB In N2.4bn Debt by gabicon: 7:04pm On Jan 16, 2022 |
fergie0o1: PUNCH Innoson doesn't understand the game he is playing, this matter is something that should have been settled over drinks at ikoyi club (Dangote and BUA get problem, an northern elders solve the problem). Now it's a battle of political clout, GTB will beat him hands down in this battle, the judgement and narrative of this case will change in favour of GTB and people will shout, unfair, zoo, injustice etc. We simply don't understand how businesses are run in Nigeria, you need friends, powerful friends and very powerful friends. Oga Allen of air peace has grasped the whole concept and is cashing out. |
Politics › Re: Osinbajo Growing Campaign: Tinubu Camp Fumes Over Buhari’s Silence by gabicon: 12:50pm On Jan 16, 2022 |
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Romance › Re: 'how Do I End A Blood Covenant Relationship I Made With My Boyfriend? He Refuses by gabicon: 3:40pm On Jan 15, 2022 |
Heterodox: Even a diety only has as much power as the fear one grants it You got a point, there. |
Romance › Re: 'how Do I End A Blood Covenant Relationship I Made With My Boyfriend? He Refuses by gabicon: 3:35pm On Jan 15, 2022 |
Giftlove11: I was being blinded by love to the extent that my boyfriend and I took a blood covenant, that was about some years ago..
The truth is that I was so madly in love with him, and when he brought out the ideal, I thought that was the only way he will be mine forever. So I agreed with him, and we made the convenant.. We use needle to cut out blood from our thumb, and we made a vow never to live each other or make love with another person..
i've been discussing with him to end this convenant, but he always refuses. We took the convenant when i was 17yrs, and Its been 8years now, and i've loved only him. Even though i don't love him again, i'm afraid to have or make love with another person. he say we can't end it and that we must mary each other.
I already found someone else i love, i'm planning to report him to the police or his parents if he dosn't give me a chance to go away..
*i don't kno if it will actually hurt me if i love another person.
i really want to go away from him If you are a born again Christian I don't think it's an issue. Think about it sex itself is a blood covenant, yet people indulge in it with multiple people. The only exception is if you invited a diety to stand as surety to the covenant. |
Politics › Re: Kingsley Moghalu Declares Intention To Run For President by gabicon: 3:11pm On Jan 12, 2022 |
cyrusmillz: Kingsley Moghalu , one of the 2019 presidential candiates has declared to run for president in 2023. He said this in a tweet , while tagging president Buhari and also informing Nigerians in the cyberspace
https://twitter.com/MoghaluKingsley/status/1481148251353059330?t=M8WGkM001H0ldoN4go5bgw&s=19[/quote]Governing Nigeria is a combination of 50% politics, and 50% technical expertise. If we go through our democratic journey, the only president that successfully combined both is OBJ, our situation experienced a downward spiral. Moghalu will be a mirror of Buhari, zero political control and a weak technical expertise not because of incompetence but weak political hold. |
Family › Re: Married Men With Experience, Please I Need Your Help. by gabicon: 11:03am On Jan 11, 2022 |
Fred166: I married my beautiful wife January this year, I Love my wife so much, I have never cheated on her since we got married. I opened a business for her worth 900k. i've already promised her a car this coming year (well I ride camry muscle and I'm tired of sharing the car with her).
My wife is too lazy, all she cares about is her eye lashes, make-up, nails and watching Zeeworld all day, She goes to her shop 10am and return 3pm, She barely take care of the house. Sometimes the plate I used for breakfast before going to work would still be on the dining table unwashed when I return. Her make-up tools and bag littered everywhere in our sitting room.
We're expecting our 1st child, Now that She's pregnant (4 months) she's worst. Na so so chop chop, I will jokingly say babe Pls don't go out of shape I won't look ur side again, Is like the more I beg, the more she chop chop. ...weird food carvings. Coconut water and bread, shawarma and pepper soup with sugar cane in her hand, I dare not buy it for her otherwise I won't sleep.
I still cook when I'm back from work. Anytime I tried to talk to her, she would say can't I see she's pregnant, she's having waist pain, leg pain, Infact body pains. I wanted to employ a maid she refused, she spoke ill about maids, she said they are husband snatchers e.t.c.
3 days ago, She asked me to renew our dstv sub and I refused. Yesterday I noticed she has done it (first time). I saw her watching Zeeworld, laughing sheepishly and pointing to the TV, I needed to watch man united match so I changed the channel, she dragged the remote control from me and changed it back to Zeeworld, she said I'm too stingy, I didn't sub for her, I refused to buy her a car.
I don't know what to do. With her lazy attitude I'm scared during delivery she would be saying I can't push o.
Experienced men help a brother. Marriage is not a walk in the park, every marriage is like a big organization/company where there are several systems and departments that govern the conduct and running of the organization. The issue you have is that you are running a family without a family system, and these systems should have been agreed upon before marriage or some form of compromise needs to be made. Your family does not have a vision and core values, every party needs to know where the family is going alongside acceptable and unacceptable behavior, your wife is displaying unacceptable behavior to you but she doesn't know because no prior standards were set, she never agreed to any standards. Your family needs a financial system, child training system, investment system, work-life system, sex system, health system, chores system, etc. For things to work between two partners, there needs to be some form of synergy because both parties come into the partnership with a different ideology, it's more like two people going in opposite directions but are chained together in the waist. When you have a financial system, it is clear where the family finance is going, there is transparency and no talk about stingy, etc. when you have a chores system who does what is clearly established and if both parties refuse to do a task, a third party called a help is introduced. when a work system is in place, there is a premium for value and improving the family's finances so nobody does a 5hrs of work a day. The problem is that there are no systems in the home, its a little difficult to initiate systems when a partnership has been formed, however, it's better late than never. I will advise that you both go see a counselor who can help you develop family systems and do it quickly before the arrival of the baby because a third partner changes the dynamics of the game. I wish you success in your family. |
Politics › Re: Restructuring: Where Will The Extra South East State Come From? - Buhari by gabicon: 5:44am On Jan 06, 2022 |
nero2face: https://www.vanguardngr.com/2022/01/restructuring-my-problem-with-south-east-buhari/ I kind of agree on his stance on restructuring, restructuring has been touted as a silver bullet that will solve all our problems, but prior to 1966 coup we had similar problems that we presently face. So how does going back to 1966 solve a problem that predates 1966. If it is true federalism we want let us state it clearly, at least that's what I want, this restructuring nomenclature can be a bit confusing. |