Widespread poverty is the bedrock of extremism and radicalisation. The development of physical infrastructure is good but it is only beneficial when intellectual infrastructure is developed. The north is fast becoming a terror hotbed and the government need to act fast before the situation spirals out of control.
Anago55: . Did Southwest not play this kind of politics in 1999 when Obasanjo was picked from the trashbin to compensate you bittersouls?
What were your investment in the party to deserve PDP ticket
Igbophobe is real
Interesting, you failed to mention that the southwest were at the forefront in the fight for democracy, the seat o powere was handed to us as a result of the role the southwest played, MKO lost his life in the fight for democracy, these acts are called investment. infact the investment was so huge that had Obasonjo compete against Olu Falae.
You dont have to use deregatory remarks like trash bin and bitter soul to state your point, evidence terminates arguement, state your case with facts.
Lol, if you play the politics as much as you talk, 2023 would have been a reality. Presidency is to handed to anyone, people work for it, The north is already working on changing the perception that power has to be rotated with the south yet our brothers in the south east are making noise. Rochas, Kali, Uzodima, onu all joined the APC and warned the south east of the danger of pitching their tent with one political party. Now it's time to get a presidency, they have very weak presence in both APC and PDP. Play the politics, build alliances, get leverage.
I have said it before and I will say it again, you can't fix a poverty problem with security measures. Poverty bears children named insecurity, instability, and confusion. The solution to poverty is the creation of prosperity, if we like we can bring the US and Russia army, the present insecurity challenges won't change. A start would be the change of the land use act.
NevetsIbot: Well. According to a lot of findings I've been making lately.. I'm beginning to believe CoronaVirus was engineered to do damage faster but only when it's not treated right.
A lot of people are behind this thing and my main focus being Dr. Fauci.
The ban on Hydroxyl chloroquine for treatment of CoronaVirus even if it had been a vital drug for over 50yrs and has been proven to hastily cure patients.
The video of that doctor that was deleted everywhere calling out Fauci about the goal he's putting out and about how she has treated 300 patients with Hydroxyl chloroquine without recording a death. Media control.
A lot of doctors abroad are already making videos about the directives they are given on how to treat corona virus cases and how it is a wrong way of treating the patients.
Asking all of us to wear masks and wash our hands which are activities that will obviously reduce our immune system strength since we are not in contact with friendly bacteria and germs that naturally help us fight infections.
It all seems doctored.
Did you also know that a lady scientist who was being mistreated by Fauci and his cohorts said Ebola could not infect human celss until it was brought into the laboratory.
There is inconsistencies at both ends of the story, according to Raymond Dopesi what is used to treat Corona virus patients in Nigeria is malaria drugs, chloroquine to be precise yet we have close to 29 people loosing their life every week in Nigeria. The question now is, the chloroquine and zinc used by madam doctor in USA, is it different from the one used here in Nigeria? If it's the same how come the results are different? President Trump's numbers in the polls dips and all of a sudden madam comes out, Trump tweets the video and there are millions of retweet, could it be that oga president is trying to restore confidence in the electorate? Madam doctor goes after black lives matter protesters telling them that their cause is blandadash. There are a lot of holes.
StagethemTVee: Pastor Chris Oyakhilome of the Loveworld ministries has frowned at why Government in Nigeria is watching its best brains exit the country in droves. The cleric and serial entrepreneur advocates that the solution is for us to put people with brains in position of leadership. What do you think?
I do not totally agree with this position, because half of the work of a leader requires capacity and the other half requires political litracy. the deficiency of one or both ends in catastrophe.
Sermwell: I have cause to visit Lagos in order to secure the bail of a younger one who got into trouble. My cousin who stays in Lagos insisted I stay with him. He has a wife and 3 kids.
The problem now is that I don't think his wife knows how to cook!! I have had running stomach eating her food since 4 days ago. I tried to turn down her food last night but it didn't go well as she pleaded with me to eat which I did. I had stomach upset through out the night. I just can't imagine eating her food again till I leave.
Please how do I refuse her food without sounding offensive??
Breakfast isn't usually so bad, eat breakfast at home. When you are out in the afternoon have lunch and dinner. When you get home at night tell them you had a late lunch, you can seat with them at the dinner table with a glass of juice or water just to make them comfortable.
What scares me the most here is the lack of process in NBC, how can the minister just cancel a TV show? What process or guidelines have been developed by the NBC to tackle COVID-19 in the industry? Or what modification of policies have been made to address the new normal?
Championxxx: I am 23 years old guy I ave been staying with my brother in Abuja for the past 8 years , I help him with his shop and his house , everything was fine till he got married his wife carry his two sisters to the house 24 and 19 years old , he said I should leave my room for them I didn’t argue I let them have the room while I am sleeping in the parlour , during lockdown this girl will wake and come to the parlour to watch tv to disturb my sleep , I complained to my brother he said I should keep calm he will speak to his wife which he never does and these girls kept disturbing me meanwhile the older girl stopped but the younger one carry on and I told her to stop disturbing me she has a phone she can press her phone in their room , she insulted me and told me to go and marry I got angry and ask her to leave she said I should do my worst and I landed a thunder slap in her face she held me by my neck screaming when my bro and wife came his wife started hitting me on my back I had to leave the house and went outside to cool down , my brother followed me and said I didn’t do well by hitting his wife sister he said I should go and apologise to his wife and sister , I refuse and asked him why he didn’t stop them when I was complaining bitterly about them but he waited for me to take matter to my own hand now he blamed me he said I should apologise which I did to his wife but not to the girl but that small girl was expecting me to knelt down and beg her , I told her she will wait for eternity.
Since the incidence his wife stopped talking to me , she ordered her sister’s to stop giving me food , the older girl used to dish food for me sometimes when she is not around but I told her to stop because I don’t want her to be in trouble with her sister and I didn’t report to my brother, it’s not a big deal for me I buy foods and eat at work and I only go home to sleep , 2 weeks ago I came home to see my mattress outside in the rain soaking wet , I was confused because it was supposed to be inside the girl room that’s where I keep it and they always bring it for me when is time for me to sleep so how come it was outside in the rain , I asked them they both denied they didn’t take it out and I suspected my brother wife or her youngest sister were the one who did it because they didn’t want me in the house anymore , I told my brother he said I should sleep on the sofa and in the morning I will get a new mattress in his shop but the wife get angry that I will damaged her sofa she wanted me to sleep on the floor with a wrapper but my brother refuse and I slept on the sofa , the next day I spoke with my brother I told him because I am not wanted in his house I don’t have peace of mind there , I want him to rent a self cont for me closer to the shop so It will be easier for me to get to work he refuse saying when he has a bigger house why would I go and leave alone , he said he provide all my needs and the rest the way his wife and sisters are treating me it doesn’t matter that he will never allow me and I told him I want to go back to the village , he said if I leave his house he will disown me and I will not longer be his brother , for 3 days now he stopped talking to me even if I greet him he won’t reply I feel hurt. I love my brother I want to serve him but I don’t want to stay in his house . I don’t know if I did something wrong by asking him to rent a room for me to be living alone? Am confuse please advice me
You are the only breath of fresh air your brother has at the moment, his wife and sister in-laws are on his neck. You shouldn't have hit your sister in-law thought, you just poured petrol to an already existing fire, the game plan from the onset was to get you out of the house and you just played into their hand. I would advise you talk to your brother, apologize for the whole episode and tell him you are developing into a young man who is required to start taking some responsibility for himself and you won't want to be a bone of contention between him and his wife, go with that angle.
Alexgman1: NAIRALANDERS, There is this very pretty fair lady who lives nearby and always comes to my house to jist, watch DSTV, sometimes play scrabble & chess. As we attend thesame church.
But she doesnt reject drink or food each time i ask or offer to entertain her. Infact she now enters my kitchen freely.
How do I politely stop or reduce her almost everyday visitation? (because of food).
This pandemic is hitting me hard & its not getting funny.
Sometime we need to set boundaries in other for relationships to work. I will suggest you have a conversation with her about how you feel. make it clear to her that are constant visits is raising eyebrows about the status of your relationship (nairalanders are already asking if you are having sex, im sure your neighbors feel the same way), secondly, you need time to think and strategise the way forward for your life. tell her you would apreciate it if she called first before she visits and make it clear that if she doesnt call when she wants to visit and you are busy you wont let her in. Be firm about it, and if she flouts any of the rules you set make sure she faces the consequence. She will help deliver the message to the rest of the sisters in church that you are not in for BS.
BiafranDel: Hello guys Please I want to know if it is still possible to graduate with a first class after been in second class upper in 100 level.
100 level first semester, I had 4.04 GPA then in second semester instead of going up, I dropped to 3.53 GPA reason being that I faced some personal challenges, bringing my 100level Cgpa to 3.83
I'm just happy that I never had any carry over in my first and second semester 100level.
Is it still possible to graduate with a first class from 200level to final year, 400level. This has been bothering me because I really need a first class to source for full scholarship to further my studies abroad.
Please I need your inputs on this. First class graduates, did you start getting first class from 100level till final year?
To make a first class you need to have a 4.74gpa in the remaining 6 semesters. It will take time and energy to achieve this, I will suggest you develop a skill instead, if you are in for computer skills I would suggest cyber security or networking or better still data analysis, or artificial intelligence. These days organisations are not after what class of degree you have they are after what value you can deliver.
kamtrix: Hello everyone, I'm wondering, what is the best process for an NYSC Corper to secure an accommodation immediately after Nysc without having to struggle with jumping from one desperate interview to another?
Comments and experiences are very welcomed please.
Also, kindly I want to discourage much talks of starting a business, that's not what this thread is about. Thank you.
The best way to secure employment after NYSC is getting and developing a skill from 200 level university days. The next best time is during your NYSC and if you have finished NYSC the best time to get a skill is now.
The present education system we use was designed for the industrial Revolution, there were too many positions needing manpower so they decided to mass produce manpower. But now we have few positions and too many manpower, which naturally will attract competition. To be on top of the employment food chain you need to ask yourself some very crucial question, " what can I do for the organisation that I would like to work with? How well can I do it?". If your answer is nothing, there lies the key to your solution you need to be able to do so.
Education of today is not vested on any institution, it has become the sole responsibility of all individuals to educate themselves and develop their skills.
The very concept of lockdown is useless if we don't intend to massively increase testing. Our health institutions are already overwhelmed, should we lockdown, increase testing, and do contact tracing, where are we going to house the COVID-19 patients?
Nigeria has drifted to herd immunity but our government are acting like they are on top of the situation.
Nothing. If you plant grass would you expect to harvest vegetables? They are reaping the results of long years of neglect. The government that should create opportunities for productivity is busy sharing free money that can't sustain their collector. The north is not where it is by accident, it is where it is by design.
There is a singular problem I have with technocrats who go into politics, they assume that governing a state is same as being the CEO of an organisation. An organisation is like fishing in a pond while a state is like a river, the dynamics are totally different. Politics is all about interest and how they are managed, Obaseki has lost this one already, if you really want to change the political sphere you can only do that successfully by controlling it by creating laws, trying to cut off political leaches from sucking from you is a waste of time. It is a problem that can only be solved by institutionalisation and not an individual. The same fate of Ambode awaits Obaseki.
daveP: I find it apalling that many find it hard despite showing biblical references to counter their moG. Its sad.
It has to do most times with accountability, some preachers claim they only want to be accountable to God only but they don't want to be accountable to the church congregation. To reinforce this ideology they create a system that ensures that they can't be questioned by perpetuating fear and when valid questions are asked they label one as rebellious. When we humans can't inspire people to do what we want we result to manipulation, the effect of this are the charlatans littered all over the place calling themselves preachers. It truly is sad but change is on the way, a new crop that questions everything is rising.
daveP: The Prior, paramount goal of any true minister Of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and of God, is to preach the gospel. (Matthew 28:19, also all believers).
It was stated out clearly that winning souls should be a lifestyle as Jesus Ascended from the disciples outside Jerusalem.
They went on to do just that, and when it seems like that wasn't forthcoming, persecution scattered them in all directions and the actual spread began.
Ever since then, the spread keeps getting new waves across many nations, tribes, tongues of the whole, with God confirming with signs and wonders done through the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
This has created a need for Ministry with different callings serving the growth purpose of Christians.
Across several denominations, several men of God, etc, lead by exemplary lifestyles and teach what Jesus commanded.
But in the Nigerian sphere, this has gotten to a very unbecoming way; almost all of whatever is said by their pastors, GOs, is seen as infallible, unquestionable, and as such, they just go head long into errors as a result of this stance.
Many Unchristlike things and demonic doctrines have crept right into the church via the pulpit and it has created a level of infallibility.
" Papa can never say, do, preach wrong."
Concerned believers try as much as possible to correct many of such error, but this is met with stiff resistance by members. You can be tagged an unbeliever, son of the devil, etc for merely justifying your stance scripturally.
The quite sad angle is majority of these defenders actually aren't grounded scripturally. If they were, they'll realize correcting a stanxstancee, doctrine that can be a stumbling block to a believer, isnt odd atall. Rather it should be encouraged. One even wonders what is right or wrong these days, just to show how deep this cesspit is!!
To prove this herd mentality, Many decades back, several MoGs hard doctrines, some rigid, that members held tightly onto. Crossing the line was a sin. But the reverse has happened and these Ministers don't apologize. Why? The effect of such has ruined lots of lives. I wouldn't really be concerned about the effects in the first place, if believers are grounded like the Bereans. But i have to.
We should be imitators of Christ, not our GOs, Pastor, Revd, Bishop,etc. Its Christ that is our Author, Our Finisher.
Our Gos are but men, vessels unto honour used by God specifically, also running the race as we all are. They can go in the way of error and if one is not careful, such error can cause grave evils.
Who has bewitched us that we now have our conscience seared like with a hot iron?
Anything that would make the brother or sister to fall, even if its not a sin, should be packed asides. (1st Cor. 8:9) What about this warning about those false teachers that crept into the church and start teaching doctrines of demons that even the elect is deceieved? (2Pet.2:1-3)
Good examples that our MoG arent infallible, or are error prone are; Moses(The waters of Meribah) Abraham(The Ishmael scenario) Samuel(Almost Choosing Eliab as King, if not for the voice of God) Peter(His difficulty with Accepting Gentile Christians, even after the Rooftop encounter) Elijah(Thinking only he was the true servant of God left)
If the Bible wanted us to only focus on their heroics, it will omit their mistakes, errors. But its all there to read and study, learn from.
Bishop Oyedepo fondly says "God gave us brains so that we can give him rest". The issue of infallibility in the body of Christ is a dangerous doctrine. The day any human becomes infallible is the day they cease to need God. Secondly infallibility is not only a measure of perfection is an individuals conduct and speech, it is also perfection in one's motive for doing things and the only individual capable of Judging motive is God. I guess it is safe to say that the only person that can really tell that an individual is infallible is God. It's ok to honour our spiritual leaders and hold them in high esteem, but we need to draw the line between honour and worship. As I fondly say, if Apostles Peter, James, John, Paul could make mistakes so can any other church leader.
barnny: Pls there is this question bothering me for some times now. It has become a constant headache during and after every interview. Pls my Dear Honourable members in Nairaland, Is gap teeth in anyway an excuse interviewers use to disqualify people from any job, Most especially on banking jobs?
I have attended several interviews where I am convinced that i tried during the interview but unfortunately ended up not being shortlisted. I am beginning to think that my gap teeth might be a hindrance to all of my dream jobs...
Recent I applied for a Banking job, Service Executive to be specific where I got shortlisted for Aptitude test for three times. Latter on after some days i received an invite that i have been shortlisted for Virtual interview which was last week. Early this week I took part in the interview were i was told they will get back to me through mail.
Today i just got a reply that my experience, profile and presentation were remarkable but However, they regret to inform me that I was not recommended at the end of the interview session.
Without been told I already knew My open teeth is behind this again. Pls help me out on this, if i should stop wasting my time, energy and money applying for jobs. Honestly I'm beginning to get depressed of all the emotional trauma.
The question is Should i stop applying for jobs like banks? Do I still have hope? How will I start imagine things when My age exceed their limit, knowing fully well that banks has limited age range.
Pls help a brother before depression will weigh me down. Below is the screenshot of the message i got from the recruiters and my gap teeth
Your not getting a job has nothing to do with your gap tooth, you need to understand that the competition in the labor market is really high, you along side 100's of people will most likely do very well in an aptitude test or interview, but the organisation is looking for 30 candidates. when it comes to shortlisting a candidate organisations start looking for the extra in successful candidates, a second skill, higher certification, extra education, emotional intelligence, innovative capabilities etc. These days things change pretty fast and organisations have to adapt to these changes, the extra is what guarantee their survival. My advice to you will be don't be just what an organisation needs, be what they need and be the extra they need.
The allegations have all shades of politics written all over it. It's interesting how the treasury secretary of US who is meant to be one of the busiest people in America today as a result of the Corona virus, suddenly has time for Africa. They say AFDB under adeshina is giving too much Loans to African countries, is he meant to give a few, especially as a result of the development deficit? The question we should be asking is what do these people want, in Africa we play money politics the west play interest politics.
Donbabaj: I could be happy now but the next minute, she changes mood all of a sudden. We dated for over year after someone match make us but this mood swing things continued overtime so sometimes I get confused even as i really tried managing the pressure. She's a nice girl, takes good care of me, buys clothes, cooks, always wants me to look good but the problem is the rate which she switches mood easily.
Financially, we are both average earner but I think she earns better pay than me.
For instance, recently we got a new apartment - 2bedroom flat but whenever I say something she doesn't like or she doesn't want to hear, she just reacts like why would I say such a thing. All the while we were dating, we never stayed with each other as we stayed in our parents house. Fast forward* most times, as the man, after switching mood, I try to pacify her by petting and apologising but she doesn't just want to listen.
Just today, we were playing with each other on the bed, touching each other (not sensitive part) and she wanted me to kiss her. So I told her jokingly that "but you know this is not biblical" as an advocate of no sex until after marriage. I have never had sex with her either. The next thing she said, "why are you talking like this" she stood up, went straight to the sitting room and slept there. I went to meet her there to pacify her again but she wouldn't listen.
Please note that I have not and can never beat or abuse her cos I'm a Christian.
I'm just tired. She's really getting on my nerves. Our wedding is 3 weeks time but I dont just know what to do. People, friends and family are already aware of the impending marriage but I'm afraid that if a lady can switch mood like this, who knows what will happen tommorrow. I cant sleep in peace...
Please advice. This is happening right now.
As human beings we are all captain of our ship which consists of our mind, intellect and emotions. Ignorance sometimes gives us the perception that external factors control our ship. Our actions are governed by our thoughts, so you need to find out what your partners predominant thoughts are, from what I understand about people with such character traits, their present reaction is tied to a past hurt or bad experience, so if you say something derogatory to them their brains calls the derogatory remarks that their wicked aunt made and they react how they wish they would have reacted when the event occurred.
There are a few things you can do to help, firstly you both can see a councillor and open up to them. Or you can go have a nice time together and in the heat of the enjoyment you both should discuss the matter. Or she can meditate on Philippians 4:8 and practice it everyday.
PowerOfLove: So I was thinking about my family extensively and how we are not united at all. I can remember one person in the family that used to call for family meeting and get together every year. The man died almost 20yrs ago when I was still growing up and since then, there's no time again members of the family have all gathered to meet, greet and chart the way forward concerning the family extensively. May be he was able to achieve that because he was rich and respected.
Now, the only time we meet is if there's a burial, a ceremony or any gathering that would force people to attend and in most cases, the married ones don't come with their kids. I mean this is a very bad pace set for the new generation we are breeding today.
My two kids (3rd is 3 months old), outside my sister and her kids whom we are staying in the same city, my kids have not been able to meet other kids from my nephew and nieces and relatives generally and familiarize with them. This is giving me reasons to worry about as my kids may see their cousins on the road tomorrow and pass without knowing they are cousins. In worst case, what if in the future they meet and happen to be in a relationship without knowing they are related? Nollywood movie. Lol.
However, I'm thinking on how I can reunite the family such that once in a while, members of the family will come with their kids and we all gather, meet ourselves, greet and familiarize with each other but how to go about is what I lack exact knowledge on.
Any suggestions will be appreciated. Meanwhile, is this kind of disunity also happening in your family? How often do you guys meet yourselves in your extended family? Share your experiences.
To solve a problem you need to understand how the problem was created in the first place. This problem was created by senior folks in the age range of 60-100 years. It started with distrust, then moved to rivalry, then competition, then disdain, then disregard then enemies. Most people then came from polygamous homes and hard to compete for love, attention, money etc. As human beings we are creatures of habit, we deliberately or indeliberately pass traits to our young, that is how we got here. Most times it takes a generation to change an ideology, another way of bringing people together is through influence which was something your late relative had. You can start building influence by calling your relatives one by one and checking up on them, after 6 months of doing this you can metamorphose to video calls, from there you can move to family video calls, after doing this for some time, you can start planting the seed of physical get together. You need to understand that the minute people sense they are being judged they withdraw back to their shell so be careful in you interaction.
Abbeylanre15: I work in finance company and I'm in charge of all accounts. All monies are been remitted to me. The M.D of this organization is such a generous but uneducated woman. My colleagues are leveraging on this to siphon organization's funds to their various pockets. I'm not oblivious of this fact because I'm so sensitive to things around me,but I am d God fearing type that won't participate in such a dirty act. I've called majority of those in this illicit act privately to warn them and let them know the implications. But to my utmost surprise, the bull-shit keep getting high and d MD is not the type to tell such hidden things, she will reveal the identity of her Intel. The problem now is that,if this act persist,the company may go bankrupt sooner than later. Even though,the job is not worth dying for,half bread they said it's better than none. I can't afford to be jobless. Please advise me on what to do?
NB: I'VE SUBMITTED APPLICATION TO OTHER COMPANIES BUT NO RESULT YET.
The best approach will be to apply technology to money inflow and outflow. You have to be careful on reporting them because there is power in numbers, they can gangup against you.
Anni3e: Hi, I have been married for 9 years now, the problem I have with my husband is that his family members keep sucking him dry and the way he neglects us his immediate family.
He is the first child of 7 children, his siblings even the married ladies keep asking him for money. He keeps spending money on them and their husbands. His brothers keep crying they are broke, they keep leeching off him.
His two junior brothers that always ask him for money, one of them built a house in Port Harcourt and the other one built a big house in the village. Still they won't let him rest.
His married sisters are the worst. If they cough they would call him to send money, every minor thing they would expect money. Just this evening his sister called him to ask for money. We don't have a house of our own, I keep telling my husband to stop giving in to all their demands and invest the money on something, he would say I am turning him against his family.
We have 2 kids and I have told him we need to start saving for their future, I pay the electricity bill, foodstuffs, and most times the children school fees, he pays the house rent and rarely keeps money for home upkeep, he sometimes drops two thousand and that's it for the whole week. He always complains he has no more, but once his family calls him he sends money immediately.
I have saved enough to buy a land and I am not planning to include his name in the property. I don't know what to deal with, his family entitlement mentality or the way he neglects the kids and I and treat us like outsiders.
I am really pissed off and tired.
Sorry for the long post.
This real problem here is not that your husband is giving his money to his family, the problem here is that your family doesn't have a financial plan. If there is no financial plan there is no budget and if there is no budget monies will find their way to whatever calls it. I will suggest you guys go see a councillor to help you through this, normally family financial plan ought to be created before you wedding day, the longer it takes to create one the more difficult it is to adapt to it. Get help and get it fast.
ken711: I have been dating a girl for about 18 months now. Very pretty but my brothers, let me tell you... Look before you leap when it comes to pretty girls.
From the minute I met this girl it has been one money request after another. If it was small sums I guess I wouldn't really mind, as I have always worked for blue chip companies and can afford it. The thing is, her requests are always very big!.....20k this, 20K that.....but my brothers, I have to tell you the one that has made me even disappointed in myself.
She lives with her parents and they are the most dysfunctional family I have ever heard of... Everyday one person is fighting the other, and this my girlfriend, as fine as she is, is the most arrogant, prideful, violent & rude person I have ever met. She hounded me everyday that I must get her an apartment of her own, so she can escape her home, and I agreed to but by saving monthly.
Would you believe, one night, when she was working at a bar as an usher for guinness, she gave her number to 2 different men just because of this apartment. My spirit kept telling me that she gave her number out, but she kept lying...only for me to catch her texting one of the men when we were at church of all places.......
She even went as far as going to meet this rich man at a hotel, but the man ran away when she made that request, and I as a fool decided to finally do it for her. (I suspect she cheated on me that night and I always tell it to her face because she has cheated on me twice before)
I live on the Island and tried to get her to rent here as well, as I really want to keep an eye on her..... She has too many guys around her who live in that area and she is this kind of person who cheats out of revenge, even over small things.....this girl refused and threatened to break things off!....bro, as a mumu I sent the money to her to rent the place and for other things, about 400K.....
Ever since that money left my account, it's like my eyes cleared!!! I couldn't believe that instead of saving my hard earned money, I went and sent it to a girl that has cheated on me twice (or even more), lied to me, slapped me and done so many things.....but I just decided to leave everything for God, seeing as she was desperate.
The problem now is that the demands for that apartment is now becoming too much!!! The expenses just to get the place finished are such a burden on my financial and mental state...
The worst happened about two days ago, she wanted me to pay 20k. Infact I just got so tired of bills that I kinda was stalling on it, but what happened next truly shocked me. Would you believe this girl started punching me, slapping me and even tore my shirt cos of 20k. She even threatened to break my office laptop (working from home) until I sent the money, after that she left........
Now she is trying to apologize so that I will pay for bed and gas and the remaining things....my brothers, I know u will say am a fool!...I accept...I am a handsome guy, studied abroad, I just don't know why loneliness made me fall in love with such a sadistic user... My only problem is, do I pay for the bed and just finish what I started or just free the whole thing and the nearly 500K I have already spent...
Please help!
Gentleman get some standards, you are in an abusive relationship and you know it, but you choose to stay, I suspect the sex is really good and the thought of missing it terrifies you.
manuelreports: I just clocked 41 and I am yet to settle down.
Please house i want to know if I married too Late if i decide to settle down today.
I never expected to marry this late but you know one thing leads to another son of man is still trying to put somethings in order before marriage, in order to give my children the best life can offer.
Please fam Your suggestions please
First of all it's never too late to be right, the best time to make a good decision is yesterday, the next best time is now. However life is programmed to run on a schedule meaning there is time for everything. Let's create an hypothetical situation, let's say you get married today and have kids today, you will be in your mid sixties training a child or children in higher institutions of learning. Mid sixties is the retirement age, so while many of your friends are traveling the world and enjoying their grandchildren you will be training yours. Raising children takes energy and time, the older you are the more difficult it can be because you don't have that youthful energy of a 27 year old at 41. Lastly, most of your plans will have to be on fast track because of you really don't have time.
As I said earlier it's never too late to be right, have a robust plan of how you intend to build your family based on your current state and future projections.
Crazeman03: Hello Nairalanders, Hope you guys are staying Safe. Please don't mind my writing, I will make it short as possible.
I met this wonderful lady Last year and everything has been going good until 7 months ago when she told me she was Hiv+. That hit me hard but that didn't change anything, she was surprised I didnt react and opening up to me didn't scare me because I'm negative though we haven't had sex yet before the moment.
Now it has been 4 months we've been having unprotected sex. I'm not afraid of contracting the virus, as she keeps taking med and her viral load is low. I made sure before we went for test before having unprotected sex. Her CD4 count is above 750 and viral load is below 20, which makes hiv undetectable in her.
Now one night around 3months ago, she woke me up in the middle of the night to ask me, why do I love her knowing fully well about her status because she could not believe she will ever have a relationship with someone negative not even in this Nigeria by the way they stigmatize hiv+ people. I told her the reason and I'm not afraid hiv is not the worse or the baddest of diseases. There are more killer diseases than HIV and HIV is not a diseases but a virus. Only attack your immune system and its no longer a deadly virus.
The problem I have now is that whenever I imagine myself having it and how I will popping drugs everyday, make me kinda moody towards her, because I always keep telling her to always take her drugs. Last night she discovered she is pregnant and I'm just imagining things how everything will play out, I know when she will put to bed she won't be able to breastfeed. People will ask questions. I really need to tell someone in my family but I don't know who. My mom my react and the other person I trust is my younger sister.
On her own part, only her elder sister and brother knew she has the virus. And she had it since 2007.
I only need an advice if I need to tell any member of my family, looking to settle down with her this October.
I must say I admire your bravery, there is a huge level of stigmatisation to HIV in our society, most of it is due to improper education. You will have to manage the situation with wisdom, HIV is perceived to be a death sentence, don't expect your mum to take it likely because the instinct of mothers is to protect their children for perceived danger. As regards to people, they will always talk, breast feed or not they will say either derogatory or kind remarks, do t live life for people. I also sense you are terrified of contacting the disease, if you decide to be with this woman you have to be open to the possibility of being infected, if you are not you may as well terminate the relationship. When you decide to break the news to your family I suggest you go through a trusted and respected family confidant.
landmark86: I graduated from Osun State Polytechnic, Iree. She also graduated from Babcock University.
We both met in 2015 during our NYSC at River State. We serve in the same PPA. She is good, lovely and caring. And to crown it all she is beautiful. I mean so beautiful.
It all started with friendship which later led to relationship. We share so many things together during our time in River State as per what the future holds.
After our NYSC, we both went back to our various base. She is based in Lagos while I reside in Osun. Immediate I finished my NYSC, I got a job with a private organisation as a factory supervisor. But she went further for her Masters in Covenant University, Otta. Despite the distance we still communicate from time to time and at times I do find time to check on her in Otta, while she also do check on me in Osogbo.
After her M.sc, her dad got her a job with a big company in Lagos.
Last year December she came to Osogbo as usual to check on me but fortunately she met my parents and my siblings at my place. They all love and accept her. When she was leaving the next day she told me that her parents told her that they want to meet her fiancé.
12th January, 2020 I travelled down to Lagos to meet her parents. When getting there I met her parents with her only sister. Her dad ask of my parents, state, my qualification and what I do for a living. I told him and immediately he stood up and told me he will never allow his daughter to marry an HND holder.
He said he can't send his daughter to a university & end up marry an HND holder. Never!!! Though my gal is not in support of that, even ever since that time till now she's not her self in that house. I truly love her and I know she truly love me too. But her parents is the major concern. Should I call it quit?
Please your advise is needed, what should I do?
Guy you were not rejected for having an HND, you need to understand how people with means think, the lady in question has been educated to a postgraduate level, this implies that there are more opportunities available to her than you. Secondly you are in osogbo she is in Lagos, she has more opportunities than you to grow in career and financial. Should you guys get married are you going to take her to osogbo? When you do what happens to all the investment made on her and opportunities open to her? I don't need to ask I can guess she earns 3x what you do.
If you are serious about this relationship you need to step up your game, you don't necessarily need to get a PhD to gain their respect, you need to look like somebody going somewhere, someone they can take a chance on.
We need value chain strengthening, it's not enough to export minerals we need to convert them to finished goods. Most of our manufacturing companies are dependent on raw materials from overseas, that has to change, we need to be principal players along the value chain. The major pressure on our external reserve is as a result of import, an inward value chain will reduce this, for instance we can farm corn all year round with irrigation yet the sweet corn on our salad or fried rice is imported, all we need to do is fill the vacuum in the value chain by converting raw corn to canned corn.
Unfortunately more people are going to die, this is the effect of poverty and limited education, more sadly is the fact that as a result of how integrated the north is a number of elite will also die. When a majority of people are financially viable and have been educated they can make intelligent decisions and protect themselves. More unfortunate is the fat that it will spread to other parts of the north.
I have a pressing issue on ground and I need your contribution. My boyfriend has been working for about 5 years now. We've been dating for a while now and he has been so nice and caring. The best ever.
In my past experience in relationships, I have been quite generous but the guys turned out to be ingrates so I vowed never to give any boy my penny again.
When I met my man, he melted my hardened heart with the love he showered on me. On one occasion, I have borrowed him money and he paid me back. Now he's asking me to borrow him another money. Because of this lockdown, he has gone so broke and he opened up to me. Initially, I did not believe him but when I noticed he has run out of food stuffs and the provisions he normally stock his house with, I believed him. I have more than enough money. The money he's asking for is like chicken change to me. But I don't want him to get used to borrowing from me and I have vowed never to give a guy my money again except if he's my husband.
Please I need advice. Fellow ladies like me, what do you think? Should I borrow him?
If you are uncomfortable giving him money, you can order for groceries for him on Jumia and it will be delivered to his door step.
DonMustafa: How about someone like Akinwumi Adesina? Must nepotism be number 1 in Nigeria?
Akinwumi Adesina is a proven administrator. He would do better than all those people listed up there
Since we are listing profiles here, let me drop the profile of Akinwumi Adesina for those who do not know
* Akinwumi Adesina is the President of the African Development Bank
* He was Vice President of Policy and Partnerships for the Alliance for a Green Revolution in Africa (AGRA)
* He attended a village school in Oyo and went ahead to graduate with a Bachelors in Agricultural Economics with First Class Honors from the University of Ife, Nigeria (1981) (Note: A first class from OAU is no joke)
* He was the first student to be awarded this a first class in that department in OAU
* He has his masters from Purdue University in Indiana
* He has a PhD (Agricultural Economics) in 1988 from Purdue where he won the Outstanding PhD Thesis for his research work.
* He worked at the Rockefeller Foundation since winning a fellowship from the Foundation as a senior scientist
* His short time as Minister of Agriculture in Nigeria created the agricultural revolution we are enjoying today.
* He is the current President of the African Development Bank
I am tired of typing.
What kind of demotion is that? From president of Africa development Bank to chief of staff.
Politics › Re: ‘Al-Qaeda Is Penetrating North-West Nigeria’ — US Alerts Nigeria by gabicon: 10:18pm On Aug 05, 2020
