₦airaland Forum

BluntCrazeMan:
Please, I want to know.
..
Especially for Non-Muslims that are living in the Northern Nigerian States like Kano State..

NOTE:
(Please Mods,, don't push this thread to the Islamic Section. Please... I take God Beg Una.)

It ok to destroy alcohol and it's also ok to share the taxes proceed from alcohol. interesting!!!

feedthenation:
---There's no perfect church---and churches aren't meant to be perfect either---Jesus Christ had 12 disciples---amongst whom where zealots---one stealing from the common purse---one with serious anger issues etc---

Yes there is no perfect church but the church should strive to perfection (become better) every passing day.
Peter the coward after an encounter with Jesus became the responsible for the Jews, Paul a killer became responsible for the gentiles, Thomas the doubter spoke boldly in aft the Holy spirit came down.

Some churches are less body ruled than others, the lesser the easier to worship. There were 7 churches in Asia minor the growth of its members was dependent on the amount of drama in the church.

SirToby:
Good evening friends.
I was going through this thread yesterday and the writer clearly advised any new immigrant to stay from Nigerian churches abroad in other to avoid drama and Toxicity.

https://www.nairaland.com/6328171/sad-truths-living-abroad

Please I want people to share the experiences with Nigerian churches abroad.

I am planing to travel out before this year runs out and I needs to be well informed with regards to churches.
Relocating to UK (london) has never been part of my plan due to high population of Nigerians residing there. Why should I leave Nigeria for another country with high concentration of Nigerians. It makes no difference anymore.

Please kindly help us share your experiences with Nigerian churches abroad. Thanks

Cc: DisGuy, justwise

Nigerians like, entertain, enjoy, and act a lot of drama, this characteristic goes with is exhibited wherever we live. It's not so much about the church, it's more about the character of the people. I lived in the UK for some time as a student, I really didn't understand why some Nigerians refused to attend Nigerian church. I attended a Nigeria church, the drama plenty, it's either the pastor or pastors wife, or members. There is barely a month you won't get some entertainment or unanswered questions. So if you are not up for drama just go attend another church. If I were you I would attend a few churches and decide on the bone that bests suits me.

bizme:
I am aware this might not be the experience of every couple but the many couple I have interacted with, the story is pretty much the same: the wife losing interest in sex once she gets married to the man and especially once children start coming.

For certain couples it isn't as obvious as that, the wife simply approaches sex as a mechanical function that she needs to get over with and perhaps do something else.

Why do you think this is so? Can one say it's because once married the woman feels socially secured and doesn't need to put in any effort to win the man? Or does it have anything to do with changing biology?

It all begins with the basic needs of both partners in a marriage. A man's primary need in a relationship is sex while a woman requires affection, most times the amount of sex a man gets is dependent on the amount of affection the woman gets. This theory can be disregarded if the relationship has been based on finance from the beginning. So when a man is trying to get a woman he goes through heaven and earth to please her, he showers her with affection, gifts, his time, money etc when he gets married to her, she becomes a piece of property to him. The woman simply wants the things that made her agree to be with the man in the first place her affection bank account has been severely depleted hence the desire to be with the man is somewhat not enticing.

Another thing is that the coming of children changes the dynamics of a marriage, improper planning for the results that follow can be detrimental to the relationship. Most men tend to leave all the responsibility of caring for the children and the home to the women, some don't even deem it fit to hire help for their wives. so a severely tired woman who goes to work cares for her home cares for her husband and kids won't want to have sex at night cause that's probably the only time she can rest.

While some other women have health issues like low libido.

nairaman66:
You have a point beyond reasonable doubt! But what are your pointers? Prayer In the house of the Lord have been pivotal for many people. Really it does work, but because you don’t key into someone’s ideology (ways of worship) means you should demonize or call names to paint the situation black!

Would your line of thought be applicable if it were suppose to be a Muslim date for worship? Be sincere

I never demonized anyone's mode of worship neither did I call anyone names not did I say praying in the church is not answered (I believe in United prayer). I have seen a pattern whereby people go to church and there are no results to show for it, the rate of poverty domiciled in the church is alarming, on a Sunday most people flouting traffic rules have church stickers on their rear windshield. Yet we are the light of the word and our country is in darkness.

simplesearch:
So those going to such places you mentioned don't go to church or worship God at all, is that your summation?

I never said so, I just called for an evaluation of what we desire and results we get.

nairaman66:
This is total nonsense bad reasoning on your part. People have the right to practice whatever religion they want to as long as it conforms to the laws of the land. You do not have the moral prism to judge how a person worships or what has come out of the worship.

Think of ways you can better your life other than jumping into matters that are too complex for your China brain to understand. It’s only the federal government who has the right to impose such actions. Let’s be guided!

On the contrary his comment sparks retrospective thinking, many have being going for these services and nothing has changed in their lives its time for retrospective thinking. And I think that's part of what God is trying to teach us in the midst of this pandemic that people need to know God for themselves, hear from him themselves, and be led by him, church going is for fellowship.
We have millions going for watchnight services yet no change in our nation, those going to times Square or Madison Square garden are doing far better than us.

We need a revaluation of some of our habits and rituals especially when the results expected and the one experienced are miles apart.

The God that heals is also a God of responsibility, Christians need to take responsibility for their health. Only a fool sees danger ahead and walks into it, your faith may see you through being infected by the virus but you might infect family, friend and loved ones whose faith can't withstand it.

Esseite:
https://thenationonlineng.net/kukahs-attack-on-buhari-draws-more-flak-backing/amp/?__twitter_impression=true

According to fela "suffering and smiling" , the north is still playing the power game, even though things are disintegrating fast.

LucyB24:
I'm a 24 year old lady living and working in Abuja. My job is very time demanding. I'm usually very busy on weekdays, and sometimes on weekends I can get called to work if something important comes up.

There is a guy I've known for months now. We met in Abuja at an event and we've been friends since. He lives in lagos but visits Abuja occasionally. He's also a very busy guy and he hardly has time on his hands. We have spent sometime together talking and getting to know each other but we haven't been on an official date. Most of our interaction has been over phone calls and WhatsApp text messages due to the distance barrier.

I fell in love with him during the course of our friendship. He is everything I want in a man. He's financially stable, very good looking and smart. The few times I've spent talking to him have been a pleasure, both for my eyes and for my mind. I never thought I could ever meet someone who checks all those boxes perfectly.

Men like him usually get a lot of female attention and I've tried to tread carefully. I didnt want him to see me as cheap but I also don't want him to think I am not interested in him. The day he told me he loved me was very memorable for me because I felt the same way. Few days later I told him I loved him too. Due to the distance barrier we could only talk on phone. I'm a very decent lady with good upbringing but because of what I felt for him, I did things I thought I'd never do. One night we had a sex chat that ended in me sending nudes to him. I've never done this before. This made me feel vulnerable and cheap because even though he said he loved me, I never believed him because he didn't really act like someone who was in love with me. He wasn't the type to call everyday and there were periods where he would dissapear for days and ignore my calls and texts and then return like nothing happened.

Last week we planned a special meeting. I was to travel to Lagos to see him at his place on Saturday morning. He had planned to refund me the money I'd use for my airline ticket and even hire a taxi that would bring me straight to his place from the airport. The way he sounded I knew he took it as a big deal. I agreed to come see him in lagos. On Friday morning he called and I assured him I was going to come. He called me again in the afternoon and I assured him I was going to come.

Towards the end of work on Friday my boss informed me that I had to be at work on Saturday to complete a very important project. Immediately I got the information I sent him a text. I was too tired when I left for home and I planned on calling him later that evening. I was so tired that I took a quick nap and woke up to missed calls from him. I called him back and asked if he got my message and he said he didn't. I informed him of the change in plans and he got very furious. He accused me of being indecisive and playing games. He said he had cancelled lots of meetings and spent money preparing for my visit and was disappointed that I didn't take him as seriously as he took me. He ended the call in annoyance and I've not heard from him since. He isn't picking my calls or replying my texts. I've sent him voice messages on WhatsApp apologizing and explaining myself but he hasn't replied..

I really love this guy and I don't want to lose him. He probably thinks I'm lying to him or that I have someone else I'm seeing but that's not the case.

It sounds more like this chap just wants to have sex with you, he knows how busy your schedule is, he knows you don't have a life outside work, why the deception complains?

Secondly in a game of chase and chased, the lion goes after the antelope not the other way round especially when it has to do with a first date. You hold all the cards if you are valuable to him he should come for you.

Thirdly, there are things once you put out there to can never take back, sending nudes is one of those things, you sound like a smart lady, behave like one.

Lastly, it not safe going to meet a person you barely know or your friends and loved once known in another city. Ladies have been raped and even killed doing this, please be safe and make safe decision.

TheRealProphet:
Happy new month Nlers.

I told my wife that I don't wish to have another baby, because 3 is okay by me, but she insisted that she wants another baby, she has been on my neck for the past few days because of this issue.

We have 3 (three) beautiful babies already - 2 boys and a girl, which is ok for me. I ain't financially strong, and I don't want to bring any child into this world to suffer.

married and matured folks please help me out. Thanks

I will suggest you sell a family vision to her. How do I mean? I plan to have a great business that delivers great products to my customers, after doing this I plan to move my family to Eko Atlantic in the next 10 years, I take my wife to Eko Atlantic to see where we are going to live in 10 years and I give the details of the sacrifices we need to make to ensure that the dream becomes a reality. Sell a vision to your wife, and convince her on the effects of another child to that vision. most importantly follow through with that vision.

They don't have a choice, stagflation has hit the Nigerian economy, the next step to that is unrest. They need to open the border to crash the price of food.

ExAngel007:
https://thecable.ng/abaribe-its-non-negotiable-for-an-igbo-person-to-replace-buhari

I'm afraid it's a little too late for this conversation, the chances of a SE presidential tickets is very slim, I believe SS stands a better chance. This is a conversation that should have been active from 2015, the political structure in the SE should have been one where the major political parties were saturated with their politicians, instead they pitched their tent with PDP and the once who went to APC were tagged slaves of the north. Now you need APC to get to the presidency and you have severely weaken the politicians there, how do you get the ticket? APC is not going to hand Nigeria over to PDP because of SE presidency, so how does the SE get the APC ticket when they have not actively participated in its politics?

Islie:
https://www.newtelegraphng.com/national-grid-collapses-plunges-lagos-others-into-darkness/

Nigeria is too big for centralised electricity. We need to remove power from the exclusive list to the concurrent list. Each state should generate, transmit and distribute its own electricity, better still we need private electricity companys that can cater for communities.

truth4ull:
The business owner, who owns multiple branches of a restaurant, went online to complain after Abuja Municipal Area Council (AMAC) sealed the Gwarimpa branch of her restaurant with customers and staff inside.

Watch video here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEk9_3H9eCU

She explained that they come often, making demands, despite the fact that she has done every registration they asked her to do and has taken all her staff for medical tests.
.
In the latest event, she said they were asking for the food handlers' receipt. She explained that she has it in her Wuse 2 branch and needs time to bring it over, but they sealed her restaurant all the same with customers in there and demanded 250,000 Naira to open it.

Government agencies are being mandated to generate revenue, they go to businesses and cause undue hardship on it, if the business doesn't comply they cripple it, forgetting that tomorrow they will have to generate more revenue.

These agencies are poorly structured, have weak systems and terrible leadership. Who goes to seal a business without giving notice?

The biggest issue is that new businesses are not springing up fast enough. The government is squeezing the life out of the current businesses.

NwekeUG:
https://igberetvnews.com/1370648/businessman-strangled-death-househelps-lagos-photos/

Most times being philanthropic and giving people money doesn't help their situation. There is the physical effects and physiological effects of poverty, the latter being more deadly. The money we give solves the physical and reprogramming the mind solves the physiological. If I were to take a domestic staff the first thing I would do is induct them on how my home is being runner, they need to understand my family core values and how we operate. Their body language will tell if they are to be retained or kicked out in a month. Another thing is that we don't do background check in Nigeria, we keep people that can directly affect our life without finding out about them.

Canih28:
The US presidential election is as tight as tight can be, and though there's no ruling out the hope that a miracle could occur that would give President Trump the win, it is clear that Joe Biden, the Democrat candidate, will win the elections and become the new president of the US.
Without further ado let's begin.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1) Nigerian Immigrants to the United States.
When Donald Trump was in office, he was famous for his love for anti-immigration. His major campaign promise in 2016 was to build a wall along the border between the United States and Mexico. He was even quoted once as using racist words against African countries (something President Buhari should have addressed when he visited Donald Trump in the White House), calling them sh*thole. With Joe Biden, I guess we will see a more relaxed policy on immigration. Maybe Nigerians would get visa on arrival to the US! (Just kidding).

2) I really don't know how Joe Biden plans to aid Africa like China is doing right now. China has contributed billions to the development of Africa (and Nigeria) with loans and grants, and it pales in comparison to what America has been giving. Joe has not been clear on his stance there.

3) Joe Biden's policies on the economy might be described as a little bit socialistic in nature. In fact, an analysis (and I think they got it wrong) shows that his policies will increase the US national debt by at least $5.6 trillion, when it stands at $20 trillion at the moment. Joe will increases taxes in the US in order to generate income, but he also advocates massive federal spending because of the coronavirus pandemic, to aid SMEs. How would this affect Nigeria? Simple! I foresee a dollar collapse due to his policies (I don't have the time to explain deeply), and it would affect the Nigerian economy in a negative way.

4) Joe plans to expand on his former boss, Barack Obama's policies like Obamacare. Maybe that means he would also expand on Obama's Africa policies too, like Power For Africa. Maybe he can rescue Power For Africa from the failure that it became.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I know that whatever happens in the United States will one way or another, affect every country in the world, so I couldn't help wonder how a Biden presidency would affect Nigeria. Although Joe Biden has never been president before, he has held the Vice Presidential office during the tenure of former President Barack Obama. Maybe the policies of his former boss would give us a clue to what he would have in store for Africa in general, and Nigeria in particular.

As it stands America is drift from being the world's largest trading partner, China has infiltrated Africa, they are infiltrating Asia and they have south America and Europe as a target. If Trump wins America will loose that position in the next 4 years, Biden has got a lot of work to do, the only way America can be first is to have significant stakes all over the world. Nigeria can benefit from a Biden win through trade, we need to find things apart from oil beneficial to the American market and sell to them, we may also be eligible for more credit, travel restrictions will be relaxed.

Racoon:
https://www.vanguardngr.com/2020/11/nigeria-near-limit-of-capacity-to-borrow-el-rufai/amp/

Borrowing that doesn't directly or in directly impact positive economic development is bad borrowing. If you are building trains in Katsina there has to be sufficient goods and services requiring transportation in that axis else it becomes a monument that can't pay for itself.

Secondly we can't continue using aLL are earnings to pay salaries and debts, we need to reduce government workforce with technology. Most government agencies are poorly run, we need to work on efficiency.

We need to encourage free enterprise, we need more people to open businesses hence the need to encourage the culture of value creation. We all cannot develop at the same pace, meaning that the help required for development is different across the country. We need to ensure we get people the help they need.

ikorodureporta:
source: https://www.facebook.com/492378324116772/posts/3618467064841200/

This things don't work, you train 4000 people where are you going to place them after the training? South Africa is facing similar problem. Instead of training give incentives, create a co-working space for 1000 new businesses, provide electricity 24hrs, give them 2 year's tax holiday, offer equity instruments to proven business idea.

Islie:
https://www.thisdaylive.com/index.php/2020/10/29/nnpc-nigerian-refineries-damaged-beyond-turnaround-maintenance/

I worked in one of the refineries when I was undergoing my industrial training some 12 years ago and I didnt need a soothsayer to explain to me that this thing is dead. Then they were considering selling the avation plant for scrap. They had 2 primary compressor one was dead, the other on life support, there was only on retiree who they made a contract staff that could revive that compressor. The steam turbines were all gone, with their turbine blade littered all over the place.

President Obasanjo understood that the only remedy was to privatize the place, but unfortunatly we many diddnt understand the challenges and president Yar-Adua reversed the privatisation and here we are. The decay in these refineries will require replacing most of the main equipments, which is as good as building a new refinery.

For us to survive as a nation we need to understand how to cut away dead weight, NNPC just recruited 1000 people, couldnt they have redeployed the people at these refineries doing nothing and getting paid? The forcast shows that by 2040 there will be a 40% demand cut in the oil industry, why are we still talking about beating this dead horse? Dangote, BUA, and other refineries springing up are going to refine 4times more than our state owned refinery, do we still really need them?

ogohiochola:
My friend and his wife got married since 2015 and the Marriage is blessed with 4 Children but there's no True love, he feels nothing for her and she's like a stranger.

What can he do?

It takes time to build and nurture a relationship, having 4 children in a space of 5 years is enough to strain a nurturing relationship. The couple are having less sex and less time together, the children have become the center of their lives. The relationship can still be salvaged by creating time for themselves.

derrick015:
Good morning.

Please I need suggestions.

What kind of prayers should I pray when the temptation arises, which Bible verse should I read?

Please know this is someone who's been addicted to porn for more than 7 years.

Porn addiction is similar to every other addiction. It primary base is what your mind dwells on, if your predominant thought in a day is sex, that though will require fueling. So if you desire to break the addiction you need to change what you think about. It won't be easy, breaking a 7 year habit will take time and effort.

You will have to practice what is called thought blocking, meaning when the thought of sex comes you need to substitute it with another thought.

You may fall off the wagon a few times but be consistent and the habit will be broken.

thesilentman:
I'm mad right now at all my fellow men.
I just wanna know, what's the gain there?

Recently I almost couldn't believe my ears when SHE (yeah, my capital letters She; my wife) told me that our landlord wooed her. Even told her to quit the house - cleaning schedule for her own daughter.

Imagine! Am looking at his back right now and I feel like stabbing him from behind. Bleep! all.

Some men are big time scumbags.
Imagine, marriage that's not even up to a month. Imagine that bastard.

Sure, am moving house by month-end.
Bleep all Randy men!

It's certainly clear that your landlord see's your wife as a low hanging fruit. The question is why? Is your wife a stay at home wife? Is she by herself most of the time? Does she engage in compound gossips? Does she have a compound confidant who she complains about loneliness? If your wife is overly submissive to your landlord he may interpret it as a call, so she needs to be courteous but not overly nice.

kenny1111:
Good afternoon everyone,

please I need advice from all parents and Educators and parents on Nairanland. today I just realized my 3years old son cant even read Letters A to F talk less of A to Z but can read Figure 1 to 10, I am seriously worried.

I don't stay at home except for weekends as I am working outside my state, but due to the curfew I find my way back home yesterday so I was able to discover this problem in the early hours of today.

I know the mother is trying cos I have seen different live videos where she was teaching him and working on his assignment, most times I pity the boy so much because of the beating from his mum alone makes me sick but I can't really complain since I know is for his own good and I know how stressful it is for a mother with 2 kids to manage her time and all that....

I called his teacher immediately and she told me my son will be going to Nursery class when the present term is over due to his age, sadly she didn't say things I expect to hear from her so I told her I will visit the school once the curfew is over, I need explanation, is private school that bad these days ? my son can't even write 2 and 3

I have bought Video CD, bought many play book materials containing letters and figures displayed boldly, I bought counting and so on when he was 2 years so i expect a better result by now.

pls sir and ma, I need help on how to guide this boy to learn better, what should I do and how should I go about it.

Note: any time I am home, I always go through his books, assignments and read his school rhymes for him.

pls Help

concerned Daddy

The child has bee at home for 7 months without a tutor, he most likely has forgotten. Children thrive on routine not one off teaching, does your son have a routine? Another thing is that children play learn, if you are a little hard on them they zone out. If you are in Lagos I can link you up with an educator who facilitate home schooling and trains parents on home schooling.

Yes, the governors are figure head chief security officers. But there are ways to flatten that curve, as a governor you have to have a good working relationship with the commissioner of police in your state so when you need something you can get it pretty quick.

What Mr Reno is saying is a job ends poverty, that statement is partially true and partially false. We have many people who are low income earners, like labourers, security, salesperson, receptionist etc and are poor. Work is not directly proportional to out of poverty. Secondly, selling rabbit to pay for law school is different from making a living selling rabbit.

We need to reduce the size of our government. 24% of the budget is used to pay 2% of our population for rendering mediocre services. This does not show any catalyst of growth.

Job cuts in the oil industry is inevitable, the forecast shows that by 2040 oil demand will slump by 40%. Most oil companies are redefining their vision and mission to encompass all areas of energy.

introvert2:
Some are of the opinion that they are geniuses. Is that really true or is it a matter of hard work? comments pls.

There are a number of factors that make a first class result. On top of the food chain is discipline, another is assimilation, then there is attention, then knowing how to study etc.

Divanona:
Eight years ago, with tears in my eye, I held his hand, begged him to stay with me that we will struggle together and succeed, but he refused. He walked away living me pregnant. Now, he's back without anything.

We were friends from the University, I graduated before him because I was studying a 4years course. The very first time, we tried to take our relationship serious was after my graduation. We had s.e.-x for the very first time and I became pregnant.
The truth is, the guy have always been good to me throughout my stays in school.
I remembered that day he sacrificed his school fees for mine so I could be able to do my final clearance. But when I became pregnant, he walked away after convincing me to keep our baby.
I went through everything all by myself.
Since last year, he has been apologizing on phone, so last week, I asked him to come. He traveled down to my place. Without being afraid of anyone harming him from my family, he believed in me and came. He's around in my family house, staying in my brother's room for the past 3days.
He has opened up everything to me, my family members and have apologized.

now, I'm so confused with my life.

He couldn't graduate, he had problem in school after I left and all this years, he has been struggling, but now he wants to take responsibility and be with us, but he had nothing. No certificate, except diploma which he later did from another school, no job, no place of his own to stay. He had nothing. He wants us to get married and have a family.


I feel I'm about to add more burden to my already stressed life.
The only positive thing here now, is the excitement my son is having seeing his father and the relationship they're building.

A part of me wants to see this guy have a great life and have direction and not see him live like this, even if I don't settle down with him. because when I meant him, he was kind, a good person, he had dreams, vision and good plans.
But living us alone all this years, with all his explanations, I'm not contented.

Another part of me is confused, afraid and I feel ishould push him away and let him go back to his life and keep moving with my son because I don't have the strength to shoulder all these.

Please matured mind in the house, what do you have to say? This is my life and it's getting more confused.
What would you advise? What should I do?
I don't want to make more mistakes.

Sorry for my lengthy write-up

The situation is a difficult one, no child deserves to be raised by a single parent. More importantly a good act in the past is not a free pass to eight years of neglect, use your emotions to think do think with your emotions.

You need to really find out why he has returned, is he looking for someone to help fix his life? Is he in trouble and need to lie low? Is he homeless and needs shelter? Is he looking for a better life and he sees you as a option? You need to ensure your son is protected from unnecessary drama.

For a man to be fulfilled he needs to decide on what he wants to do with his life. That decision can't be taken for him, irrespective of the resources at his disposal, until that decision is made you have a broken man. My point is you can't fix him, only him can fix him. You can expedite the process but you can't begin the process.

My advice will be ask a lot of questions, get him help as much as you can, but don't be attached to the help, bury every emotions you have, when he gets himself together, then can you start thinking of living as a family.

nastyking:
Hair dressing vs Tailoring which is advisable to learn for a 20 year old guy. All opinions are acceptable

It shouldn't be about which is better cos they are both great careers, it should be more about which are you passionate about. In every career path there are times that things would get intense and difficult, what would see you through in those periods are passion, tenacity and drive.

saaphiere:
https://dailytimes.ng/i-have-received-news-from-god-about-edo-ondo-ghana-and-america-elections-primate-ayodele/

This sounds more like an opinion and not what God revealed.