₦airaland Forum

Rumour mongering

But u won't feel odd if she's committed abortions, right?

N pls it's ur choice, don't marry anyone with a kid out of wedlock cos ultimately u'll feel like u settled.

Hi dear,

So sorry bout wat ure going through. Its horrible when the one thing uve dreaded all ur life appears to confront u. I don't advocate speaking to third parties, esp because the advise ure going to get will inevitably be flavoured by the third party's experiences. So, their advice is typically biased and from their perspective too.

The domestic violence is a no no for me. Why does he have to resort to violence...it's plain unacceptable and must be stopped immediately. Both of you need to see a marriage counsellor and fast too. Ur husband seems to recognise there are issues but the manner hes going bout reeks of immaturity cos he doesn't know half of what's going on in his friends' marriages behind closed doors.

n pls never under estimate the power of prayers. Cos it breaks my heart wen I see negative patterns repeated across family lines. U have to break the evil pattern that occurred in ur mum's life that now wants to destroy ur marriage. Cry unto God and ask Him to change ur story like Jabez did. He's still in the business of answering prayers. It is well!

Keeping my fingers crossed for You. God that sees ur secret pain will answer u publicly and silence all nay sayers in ur life in Jesus Name. Stay positive!!!

Yep, I was always tired but after ur first trimester, u shd feel stronger. I think u shd eat more beans, moi moi, unripe plantains, salads, green veggies like ugu, liver, fruits n take folic acid.

julietchic:
Tnx I will.
Am always tired and sleep too much, is it normal?

Yayyyy!!!! Happy for u!!!! The God of perfection will perfect everything concerning this child n if u don't mind my saying so, please try n register with a gyne as early as possible to see if u need any supplements n try to avoid stressful stuffs like lifting heavy things. Fill ur mind with positive thots, too.

julietchic:
It was positive, follow me thank God

Keeping my fingers crossed you unmake that decision o. N praying in my heart u find ur way home

freecocoa:
I used to be born again o my sister but I grew up, most of the things in the bible have never really made sense to me anyways, as I always had questions, no one could answer them convincingly and gradually, I found myself here.

I have made my decisions dear but thanks for looking out.

I lurve that church! HOTR PH...home for all. I love Pastor Lanre...the Word n Swag.

@freecocoa - were u always agnostic? If not, wat was the turning point? N I'm so sure God's calling u back, please heed His call.

How do I know? I've wandered so far oftentimes, been unable to pray, avoided Church for years, been mad at God, done several things I'm ashamed of, wondered if He loved me et al but He's been consistent!

Take care of ur beautiful self and please do not drift too far away, if u get my drift.

Please is this the Religious Section?

In other words, never let go of a mumu or a pretender. Cunny man die, cunny woman bury am

@snakebeat, ur wifey insulted ur elder bro n the most appropriate thing is to slap her twice. Y not insult her own elder bro?

@ Op - It's itch... not hitch!

@dinachi , what happens if the dna tests confirms the kids are his, is she still a cheating slut of a wife and even if she cheated since her husband is also a cheat, I guess they deserve each other

Seems like he has anger management issues...Y on earth will he comeback after an argument to yell at you and go on to hit you.

If this is his first time, I think you should let him know how unpleasant his actions are by reporting him to his family or anybody he respects.

What he doesn't realise is that his actions are killing ur love. Can't even imagine anyone touching me with the same hands he used to hit me. It is well.

Talk bout generalizations! N exaggeration - 15 what? can't cook? U seem well brought up n I can safely infer ur sisters are not like that. I'm def not like that, my sisters aren't and I have wunnerful friends!!! U guys should please curb judging ppl by this yardsticks, it lessens oftentimes the strength of ur points

Timbuktou:
I think the bride price custom was as a result of realities of days of old. A man had all the responsibility in the world to show himself worthy. The success of a male child was the payment to his parents. A girl child, however, had no such reaponsibilities, she was to snag the most eligible bachelor around. Period. And she would do this by being virtuous and all. The bride price was payment to her parents for raising such quality wife material. Therefore, I fail to see the reason for bride price in today's Nigeria; the girls have had like 15 deecks before marriage, they can't cook and are mostly lazy. When I was in school and NYSC, I cooked far better than my female colleagues save a tiny few.

However, I think Mr. Ugoji was all over the place trying to reconcile issues and concepts that had no correlation. He may have had good intentions, but the article is too bloody PC for my liking.

@ OP, Truthfully, I never witnessed domestic violence in my nuclear family when growing up. I can't honestly vouch for the extended family. I've witnessed one incident of girlfriend battery that stuck tho it's been about 10 years ago. A guy beat up his girlfriend for going on runs as in literally stepped on her face with boots. My friends were telling the runs girl, 'Oh he beat u cos he loves u' and I'm literally dumbfounded. The funniest thing bout the abusive boyfriend was that he was with another girl who now threatened to deal with the runs girl. If a girl is loose, Y don't u let her go instead of beating her up?

Personally, I think Nigeria itself is a violent country. Y dialogue when u can slug it out with your fists? someone bashes ur car and instead of clearing the car from the road, both of them start fighting. Madam beats housegirl, housegirl beats the not- well- to- do relatives in the house (witnessed this first hand bout two weeks ago).

It is unfortunately, a cycle of violence

No wahala bout teaching the woman but who's coaching the guy Lil things like helping to clear the dining table, be gentle with Madam n that marital fidelity is possible.

Someone was telling me that during her marriage counselling in Church, the teacher told the females in the class that even if u walk into Ur hussy cheating on u in ur matrimonial home, it's ur responsibility to forgive the guy cos no one is above mistakes. My question is who's teaching these guys not to cheat?

Thanks!

neoapocalypse:
That's a smart brain there , 1000 likes

I guess it all depends on the calibre of parents involved and the quality of their decision making.

My parents have one of the most beautiful marriages n complement each other and happen to live wat they teach. I'd be a fool not to listen to their opinion.

On the other hand, if they are violent, tribalistic and just like dishing opinions for the sake of hearing their voice, I'd listen to them n make my informed decision.

At the end, it's ur life, ur choice n u bear the brunt of ur decisions.

True dat! Only God knows wat really caused Amaechi n Wike's beef.

Can't personally stand either of them. All the same, my heartfelt sympathy to the people of Rivers State. Ko easy, rara

sosanova:
[size=13pt]hypocrites
the same Amaaechi that said Wike will have nothing to spend when Wike assumes office as Governor [/size]

Wow, what an insensitive woman! So, what is she waiting for to fix it?

How on earth does she expect her hussy to be emotionally invested in the marriage? U never know a good thing, till its gone...

awhydot:
Funny enough, my friend said he told her to her face that a deep part of her isn't with him, and she replied "yes". And started saying she will fix it with time.
The poor guy is actually unhappy knowing dt he doesn't have the totality of his wife's heart.

Classical case of damned if u do n damned if u don't. The guy wanted a male child so badly he got a 2nd wife now he's doubting paternity...bleh

What's wrong with female kids BTW? Those that have been childless nko, what should they do?

I guess she just stated her opinion. Doesn't warrant her being attacked, ba?

Great job, TEHN!

ihedinobi2:
Why would it prevent non-Muslims from helping? Because "insha Allah" somehow causes paralysis or it magically dries up bank accounts?

y don't u, cutehector wash plates? If women don't wash plates cos they fix their nails, Y don't u clean up after urself so much that u infer it's a woman's role to wash dishes

Cutehector:
u dnt hav a point.

Apparently, the ladies don't wash cos of their nails. Sooo, we gerrit Y don't most guys wash the dishes?

yep, tho I always deny it. allergic to nuts, Chinese food n God knows wat else

Hi all,

Please for mums who have actually used either doctors para ti or mihs, what was the experience like? Would you advise someone with a complex pregnancy to go this route?

I have read the thread but I'm just worried bout the quality of healthcare.

Thank you soooo much!

Hi dear,

Project Alert on violence against women (http://www.projectalertnig.org/progs.html).

A separation may be your best option in the interim.

(((hugs)))

I think she should tell him. Nothing liberates like the truth n there is always the IVF option.

I'm not sure I need to explain my thot process to u but since u asked.... His claim that The rate of domestic violence pepertrated by women is at an all time high. By some calculations as high as 90% is plain ridiculous IMO. Not sure I have the energy for people who cook up statistics, abeg

5minsmadness:
Why should he be kidding?

Why is it funny?

Way funnier, bros! I do not subscribe to physical violence by any sex and I never fight but since u can tell my mindset is probably different from my actions, I guess I must subscribe to your superior way of thinking, lest I be labelled a husband beater

dinachi:
Nothing funny about wives assaulting and abusing their husbands. This your mindset that men reporting violence against them is funny is surely a sign that you support it and may even be a pepertrator.

I love Chaircover, No homo. Everytime, someone calls me baby in the office, I cringe...talkless of a married sombori. Some women sha, always looking for another person's man to snatch.