₦airaland Forum

Chai! C textbk analysis!

IMO, ppl cheat because of 2 main reasons:

1. They c nothing wrong with it. Ppl who are in Open marriages etc would definitely c nothing wrong with cheating.

2. Ppl who c something wrong with cheating can still cheat when their emotions are more powerful than their morality/ whatever is keeping them committed to a relationship. If a lady's been having a bad day or feels unattractive etc, she might cheat cos her emotions hav been weakened etc. N if a guy's is sorely tempted, he'll most likely cheat if his libido / emotions are more powerful than his morality/ control.

Yu sef, y u copy dat long quote?
[quote author=Mr..Cork]..ok..so u need physics to no why people cheat? [/quote]

As difficult as getting a job in Nig, Op's bf got one and was promoted. Not sure what you mean by her man did not succeed in Nig. Also, i know a couple of people who did not succeed in Nig by every std who are leaders outside the country n I'm not exaggerating.

[quote author=~vicky~]am not saying that settling down in the US is bad,if your man didn't not succeed while in 9ja, sorry to say this he wont do the same in the US.[/quote]@ OP - this is a decision only ur BF can make. If he stays back in Nig, he may be miserable n blame u for his choices. Not sure why some ppl think going abroad solves all ur probs. He's definitely miserable in dt job but there r no guarantees he'll be happier abroad. Not sure his degree n ICAN may get him a job there. Know some ex bank mgr in Nig that had to go the nursing route in the US. Others do menial jobs. I'd say make informed choices n PRAY. It's only God that knows the ending from the beginning.

Yu sure it's only garri, u wanna smoke?

SMH. If tribalism fails, never forget to resort to sub tribalism... way to go!

My primary concern is for the baby's safety. Until we're certain that the mother is aware her baby's being taken out daily, both of us can only assume that the mum is aware/ not. And people over 13 years have been known to be kidnapped/ involved in accidents etc. The question is if any of this happens while the house girl's away with the baby, will the mum know the baby's exact whereabouts?

I'm all for the fair treatment of househelps... I don't even want one when I have a family.

But, nothing stops the house girl from being given a day off on weekends or even taking time off when Madam comes back in the evening. There are other ways to ensure a healthy work life balance for the house girl.

Siena: You're being really dramatic here.

How do you really know what the mother's expectations are? You've simply made an assumption. Why would the baby go missing? Unless the househelp is a 13-year-old, there's no reason why the baby won't be safe with her when she's out.

A well-treated househelp, that's treated like the rest of the family is a happy person. Sure you can force a househelp to remain indoors, and have no life outside work, but don't expect the children they care for to have an easy time. An aggrieved housemaid will most likely take out her frustration on her charges. Because that's what humans do - you push them to the wall, they'll bite back the only way they can. There's only so much a person can take. Even prisoners are allowed privileges.

It's a sad state of affairs when househelps are expected to have no lives of their own, just because they may come from an under-privileged background.

Soooo rude! soo Personal! So off the mark!!! Lay off the hate

kandiikane: Did they tell you they want a paper to show that they love each other. Mtcheeeew! Face your business joorh! Ýou think everyone is like you? Committng suicide because they don't have a husband at 30

this possibly explains why good ol Annie was shedding tears of joy when 2face proposed [quote author=dannysteve99@ya]Do u think every woman want to be married?Some just need baby that is all.[/quote]

You seem like an extremely sensitive person. Be truthful to urself - du greet the old man shabbily or he's just giving a dog a bad name....

Do they dislike you cos they have misconceptns about you/ personality? People often think quiet and shy people are snubbish. Try meeting them halfway and see if there are any changes. If they hate you cos of ur tribe or some deep seated notions/ you just rub them off the wrong way, you might have to cut ur losses n move on.

You also have to consider the option that the 'ex' might just be the authentic babe. #just saying

This is in no way close to maltreating Househelps. The mother's expectation is that her baby be kept at home. What if the baby gets missing on one of the house girl's numerous trips? This woman would end up wishing she blew the whistle.

[quote author=Okija_juju]OP: Mind your bleeding business.

Househelps are also entitled to have a life you know. Is the child in any direct or immediate danger?! Have you seen any signs of her maltreating or abandoning the child or the childs welfare?! Does the child look like he is being abused in any way, shape or form?! Is the househelp in question a minor (under 16)?!

Her only offence is that she has a boyfriend or that she goes out whenever the madam is not around abi?! Try locking yourself inside your house for 1 year without stepping out and maybe you will begin to appreciate the sacrifices live-in maids have to make.

Please face your own problems jor!! Na people like una dey maltreat househelps.. [/quote]

Seems it's the new fad for Naija celebs to have baby mamas. If she's good enuf to bring up your next generatn, she must be gd enuf to wife. If you like it, then u shd put a ring on it (ask Beyonce)

Yeah, so guys should stop blaming females for their moments of weakness. Everyone has one. Proper remedial action should be accepting one has goofed, picking oneself up n moving on for heaven's sake. Don't just spend another century blaming the weaker sex.

biolabee: You are tragically right
People should take responsibility for their actions and consequences

I could have sworn u gave me more info bout backing babies etc. What do I know...must be in la la land

[quote author=Mynd_44]There are no repercussions ma'am but it is kinda expedient especially if you have thing to do around the house and the child is screaming for attention.

And I don't think there is a skill. You will learn when your baby arrives. There will always be someone closeby who is willing to teach you how to do it[/quote]

Apparently, yu guys missed the memo - It's always the lady's fault o

If the marriage is fruitless, it's her fault
If the guy's got roving eyes/ fingers - it's her fault as she most likely let herself go or wasn't prayerful enuf
If the guy dumps her after a long courtship - she was either too cheap or desperate or God knows what
If she gets played by some married guy - she should have been smarter
If she gets raped - she was most likely seductively dressed or gave come hither looks
If she has inlaw issues - she has personality issues or is a plain ol alakowe

Yet to see a scenario where it's not the female's fault. IT IS THE WIFE'S FAULT

@Mynd- thanks a bunch! I guess I'll cross that bridge when I get there

wishes n wizards! Ds is just gross n proves the militant nature of d average Nig - always trying to force feed people with their own values. Shioor!

I'm completely clueless when it comes to backing babies o. Is this a skill dt comes naturally or is one yu pick up wit practice? R there any repercussions if I don't back my baby, pls?

Very well said. The fact that yu put so much thot into ds n appear to b speaking from ur convictions is most impressive. May ur life match ur words. Isee!

CONGRATULATIONS *beats drum wildly*

Are baby girls born on Easter called Esther?

The reason why a number of Nigerian females are obsessed with marriage would be the fact that while growing up they were taught either by words or observation that advanced women (30+) irrespective of how successful their careers were incomplete n worthy of pity. It was either she was wayward n had burnt out her youth, had spiritual issues or was plain bad mannered.

For some of the guys, this 'obsession' may be conceived if he was taught that domestic chores are for females - mum n sis sweeping, cooking n mayb his laundry. He might grudgingly undertake this tasks while a corper/ job hunting but would definitely be hopin to hammer so Miss desperado can show her wifey-material skills n by inference take over her roles.

Y'all shd giv Ms Adabeke a break, ejoo. I'm not saying her intellectual prowess is top notch/ not but sometimes, we just need a break from corporate, formal lingo, abeg

Now, this is so harsh n uncalled for. How can you harbour so much hatred for some1 u've never met n may never meet? I also pray that her bf /hussy never strangles her IJN. Peace folks:*

Not contradictory! Realistic and Honest? Yes

Ihedinobi: Your answers are contradictory, or they appear so. Why's that?

Entrepreneurship cannot be taught but skills that can make u a better entrepreneur can be honed/ improved upon by teaching. You'll agree with me that there's a difference between Bill Gates and the local pepper seller. Howbeit, both are entrepreneurs.

Question 1 - Ghandi. I'd never choose a murderer over someone who's life benefited others.

Question 2 - Definitely being a believer

Christians have to realise that being half baked does more harm than good in the long run. Some peeps have sworn off christianity and termed christians hypocrites, cos of some 'passionate rage'

I'm still standing o.

What u're saying is that a believer's bad marriage is better than a non believer's own? Right? A volatile marriage between believers is berra than one between non believers? OK o

Still disagree. People- even Christians have definite roles to play if their marriages would be successful. Knowing/Serving God would not absolve one of this role. He could fix John Wesley's marriage but did not cos ultimately the outcome of the marriage would be dependent on J. Wesley and his spouse's choices. The Holy Spirit would most likely prod the believer to make the right choices but what if the believer refuses?

Ihedinobi: just that even the worst possible marriage between two believers is still very much a marriage in the eyes of the Lord and will never rank among the marriage of unbelievers. What's more, however bad the marriage of two believers could get, the Lord Who built that house can fix it and make it better than it ever was, after all, He is the God of Resurrection, is He not?

When God was chastising the Isrealites for divorce etc in Malachi, it did not necessarily mean the spiritual lives of the Israelites was top notch. He said he hates divorce cos it hurts the spirits of the wives of the youth. When John the Baptist was scolding Herod for stealing his brother's wife - it wasn't because Herod was a believer. It just means God respects the covenant of marriage.

Opinions are mine entirely

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But u said it's completely true, naa .

Ihedinobi: Actually this is completely true. And the fact that believers also fail at it does not make it any less true.

So, yes, my brother, you are right. And no, my sister, your spirit is wrong.

It's all good, tho

[quote author=@kenyattaMoore]Yes heart attack, they try to revive him but he was already gone .I am sorry for your friend too .[/quote]Wow... It makes one realize how vulnerable one is. Heart attack n BP in peeps under 30 typically baffle me, sha. I guess, God's left us alive for a reason. Cheer up.

I disagree. People can get married n give their lives to Christ later on. Pending when they repent, are they supposed to keep multiple sexx partners. Grew up with my parents blasting Fela on Sundays n now na them go church pass. Honestly, some christian homes suck IMO. John Wesley did have some marital issues, you know. All u need for a successful union is love, long term compatibility n a fierce determination that ur marriage'll work. Does God make this easier? Yes - especially when the love is wearing out.

I lost an ex classmate too in Jan. So sad! No kids, no hussy! n she's gone. 2 sad Re ur friend, r u sure he had an heart attack? How can you be so sure? Take heart all d same.

Nope, don't believe that there's curse of the first born but I believe that first borns are usually under severe attacks. Origin must be after God told the woman that her seed was going to bruise the serpent's head. Satan's always knew/ expected the Messiah to come from a first born n did his best to frustrate it.

N Jesus was a first born n he's definitely not cursed