₦airaland Forum

authority2006:
I'm not trying to insult you lady, not everyone has enough resources to the extent of having spare time to bond with side chicks. Though, I can't say much about your husband or dad.

TonyeBarcanista:
Most fathers play with their kids when they are chanced. My father did, despite the fact that he was a policeman... Whenever he is home, he spends time with us. We pray together every morning and evening before sleeping. Most fathers do other things with kids WHEN they have time off work. It doesn't take away the fact that father's primary job is to provide, defend, protect and care for the family.

phemmyfour:
Dont mind xynerise, he's trying to force his opinion on anybody that have contarary opinion.

In this age where we have career women, we have fathers that are even closer to their children than their mothers.

idahme:
Ur reasoning is top notch.....

vingeophysicist:
Why will a man do that ? He has sold his birth rite.

igboamakaaa:
This might be a long write-up but id try to relay my points in the best way possible.

This thing is a natural bonding instinct, if you've ever raised domestic any set of domestic animals (Poultry, Cats, Dogs, Goats, even pests like rats) or watched NatGeo wild/Animal planet you would notice that the younger animals whether male or female ALWAYS bond better with their mothers.

The Male parent nevertheless bothers himself more about protecting the family and defending their territory, maintaining peace and order amongst the family and disciplining the young ones when they want to go astray.

That doesn't mean that he does not spend time with his wards, he just doesn't devote all his time to that else they would be attacked, he would lose his territory, his children maybe killed and his wives be taken over by the ravaging alpha male (the female counterparts would mostly choose the more dominant, stronger and fiersome male for protection in both animal and human environments).

All these happen even though in the case of lion, most birds and other canivorous/herbivorous mammals the Female parent is tasked with providing food for the family/the young ones.

As it is with animals, so it is with Humans. Nature doesn't change its standards. I'll finalize by giving insights on an experimental study made using complete elephant families from the Amboseli National park, Kenya and another set of elephants (orphaned or without male parents) in Pilanesberg National Park, South Africa.

The young elephants in the kenyan elephant colony were stable, grew up maturely and didn't display any abnormal tendencies that were unlikely for elephants their age. Whilst the elephants in the south african park who were either orphaned or without fathers grew up to be very unruly, exhibited abnormal hyper-aggressive behaviour that led to the killing of about 107 rhinoceroses over a period of 10 years. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3874604/

You can now see the link between these animal behavioural pattern and that of humans. One of the chief reasons why there are so much social misfits in the world of today is majorly because of the rise in single parenting and orphaned children. These inturn grow up to wreak havoc upon the society later on and cause more anarchy which continues to increase and increase as generations go by.

Nature has its order, it has its premeditated role for the male and female parent. When one entity is missing out of the equation or roles get switched, it creates an imbalance which shows forth one of its result in the social disruption of the children. This is my take on the issue.

Sparro:
You are too myopic to be a mother.
The topic and content lacks maturity and it is baseless.

Just like there are terrible fathers, there are also equal amount of terrible mothers. You are asking the fathers to bond with their kids jsut like the mother, you have asked the fathers to carry the pregnancy jsut the mothers na. Hissss

mk3jax:
Boys don't appreciate their father under they become a father themselves. The man is expected to takes care of his wife, kids, in law, siblings, parent, cousins, nieces etc depending on his financial ability. You think the money to provide all those comfort will come from siting at home and forming bonding with child. Bonding with kids only works when the job allows.
If you want to know the relevance of fathers, look at homes without one and see how miserable the life of the woman and kids are most of the times. Many of the fatherless girls get pregnant very young while the boys drop from school to go and learn a trade because there is no dad to provide.
Also look at girls that dump new born babies because there is no man to provide for her and the baby. You do not know the value of a man until he either walks away or dies. My mum still misses my dad's contribution to running the home they built together even though he died 14 years ago and all her kids are grown up.

Flairoqy:
Enéfu Gbé means English too much in igala tribe of kogi What do you mean?

Dalby:
Do you have a friend that is a side chic
How do you know they bond

Them say na wetin pikin no get for house e dey go thief for outside o

mariahAngel:
You had to play the side-chic card...

Not all married men keep side-chics. Argue fairly.

Flairoqy:
Enéfu Gbé

authority2006:
It is not easy to be a father, a responsible one for that matter. Where is the time to be competing for attention. I just wish that children recognise the contribution of fathers who sacrifice a lot to make sure that they don't lack things and have a future

Emyogalanya:
hmmmn you really get time cos it seems you are new on this forum that guy is as unstable as a rainy season weather. Don't be surprised to see him fighting to the death while defending the same points you raised here today. Am so sure if you check his past posts or threads you will see it. He can contradict himself within the space of 24 hours

xynerise:
It shows you how some people run their families and still look for who to blame when something goes wrong.

Being a father to them is like autocracy

mariahAngel:
Fooling around with your child is not synonymous with bonding. They can easily cross the line.
Make every time you spend with your child count.
Be approachable but strict. No time for nonsense.
Have discussions with them.
Ask them questions.
Teach them to say " sir" when they speak to you.
You don't need to fool around with them to prove that you love them.

0neal:
Another title for this thread can be

"Fathers should endeavour to emotionally invest in their kids"

Other than just focused only on providing, protecting, disciplining...

How many dads can play video game with their boys?

yvelchstores:
What can i say, your future wife has been blessed by God.

PS, most of the stupid replies u will get for this beautiful piece you have written will come from men and boys from dysfunctional homes, with no real sense of value to what you uphold.

Kudos to u, most importantly to your father.

kingreign:
I bet you don't understand the essence of this thread. The essence of the thread is that fathers should do more for their families, their children other than going out there to work, provide funds or food. It asserts that fathers should be more closer to their kids, to imbibe fatherly roles, love and presence in the lives of their kids. I totally agree.

I'd tell you, my son always laughs and smiles and babbles when he hears my voice. When I'm out for long and on opening the door, if he's awake, he starts crying for my attention, and when he sees me close, he starts playing and laughing. Why does he do these?
It's because I take alot of time in playing with him, carrying him, speaking to him, learning and discovering new things with him. I even do his diapers and change his clothes, wash them too very regularly and bath him once a while. My wife was protesting against such initially, but I put it to her that I WANT AND NEED to do these to my offspring. It's not a sign of misplaced priorities or weakness, but rather a form of bonding between father and child.

TonyeBarcanista:
[s][/s]
What do you expect him to do? As long as a man provides, protect, leads and defends his household, he has done enough.

Kiss the truth

tayooluwole:
The biggest mistakes any guy can make is to ever think any lady can not do without them... You see ladies ehn, once they move on,,,they dust their past behind them and never looked back in most cases. Lady is only attached to a guy for just the moment it last and not beyond,,,all other things being equal

Smithkafors:
Why south east,why not Nigeria......compare the resources he has with other state. He is definitely the best. He is contracting Airport and stadium at the same time....work is not stopping.

Kaypols:
most of you guys are not getting the message.

TonyeBarcanista:
Typical of your kind.

So you expect a man that is supposed to be hustling to abandon his job or businesses to go and do Omugwo? You people's agenda to relegate the fathers will never work.

xynerise:
There is no definite quantity for both.

xynerise:
You still have to agree to my topic ...

IrepChrist:
And many times it is concealed and done in secrecy.... Is it Godly without the Pastor's approval.... I need sincere responses...

BiggyB242:
Excuse they give "only God can judge me" and "don't judge me till you walk in my shoes", when they clearly know what they were doing.