₦airaland Forum

Please go for the training. A skill learnt cannot be unlearned. It is a positive step in the direction of your future. Forget those preaching "a bird in hand". They are not thinking of the future.

After some years in the Lastma job, you will become redundant with no skill and no hope of moving forward. By that time, will you have this training opportunity? Besides, it's an international exam. That means the certificate can be used abroad. Please be smart about this.

zexy2030:
wherepls

I heard Lekki then. But it depends, I guess. You have to roll in their circle.

You. Are you decent? What is the difference between you and the girl?

abumeinben:
Why must I serve you food in my wedding? What kinda mentality is that?

Mentality? Serving your guests food is a mentality?

Babygal2020:
Don't get me wrong. I have known this guy for some years now but I have never had issue with him.
Pregnancy can make a woman become aggressive temporally. Again, you can google it up. If I'm not remorseful for what happened, I wouldn't have even apologized!!!!

I have been pregnant before and I have been around and taken care of many pregnant women. And I can tell you that we still have the will over those things. Some people will tell you they can go and beg for food from strangers because it smells appealing. No matter how tantalising the food smelt to me, I couldn't disgrace my lineage because of long throat and blame it on the pregnancy. That's what I used to tell myself.

No matter how aggressive it makes you feel, there are some people you cannot lash out to. The pregnancy will respect those people. Your husband's friend wasn't one of those people. And it depends on what he did that made you lash out.

Babygal2020:
Well, maybe I'm not a Perfectionist like you.

You came online to ask for inputs yet you are resisting them. You are only accepting the words from people who align with you and see nothing wrong in what you did. But the ones who tell you the blatant truth that pregnancy is not an excuse, you resist.

Sadly, many women hide behind pregnancy a lot. Accept responsibility and quit this blame on the pregnancy. But you are still trying to explain away.

OlawaleBammie:
Lol, why are u feeling insecured

Anyways, this is d very first tym I will b hearing this, it whaoed me.

societal decadence at its peak

The story then was in lekki. A couple were involved in it. The idea is to have sex with other partners but all under that roof. You are not meant to have contact with the person afterwards. But in this case, the lady started having an affair with one of the guys there. Her husband found out and she was the loser in all of it.

I don't even now how to comfort you. It must be painful. The part that pains me more is the fact that a father's pride or entitlement mentality won't let him apologize to his son.

Sometimes elderly/older people think it is ok to use age to bully their kids or younger ones. It is very wrong. We should not use culture or respect to cover what is not right.

Zerlo:
Even though most people claim that the world is highly corrupt with sexual pervasion I still fill it is been exaggerated. I know many adults who are virgins around me (I met virgin ladies during nysc), and I tend to wonder do I live in a different world to most people online. Anyway, I believe those we connect and relate with is an extension of who we are and what our aura is.
Humans possess some animalistic attributes and the instinct to have sex is one of it. Through history, the only constraint that has tame the wildness of human on sex is religion. Take religion (and it's several ordinances on sexual relationship) away from a man and watch him exhibit such wildness that will shock the devil himself.
Take religion (God) out of the world and see it's ruin in a matter of seconds. 'Freedom to desires' as been preached in the world today supports anyone to do what ever he/she wants so no one, not even the eventual husbands to such ladies has the liberty to judge or chastise them. I can't tell if such ladies (and more dangerously the men involved also) will find sexual fulfilment or gratification in the confines of marriage but I know they will ever live in regrets of their actions even if they might deny it.
We all have a responsibility in building a better world and our actions is a testament to our contribution to that world.

People only choose to see and believe the worst. They would never believe that there are still virgins that are even over 30. A close friend wedded as a virgin at over 30. I was married so I had to keep giving her tips.

There are even men that are virgins. But people just choose to see others in the light of their own life and experiences.

OlawaleBammie:
Aaaahhhhhhhhhh, a never hear ooooooooooo


What is dis u re saying??

I read a story once and heard from some other people talked too.

Abeg let me mind what I say before one myopic person will come and say I am the person I am referring to

We4all:
Your story is quite inspiring, and I'm glad things worked out for you. But encouraging people to tow your path doesn't hold sway, cos it may backfire. I know a guy who did something similar, and 10 years down the line, he is poorer than he was.

The truth is, if you can afford a flamboyant wedding, by all means, do it! This is because, weddings are memorable, and are expected to take place once in a life time.

There are three chapters in one's life:birth, marriage and death. If people celebrate births and funerals, then weddings shouldn't be less celebrated.

Nevertheless, if you can't afford a loud wedding, then opt for something small with few guests. But make it simple and classy, and don't be like the OP, cos serving his guests biscuits was in bad taste.

Being poor is one thing, planning right is another. @OP, you shouldn't have entertained your guests with biscuits,(cos I assume they were all adults). Instead, 2 mudus of rice served in take away packs could have done the magic. And if there was less money for malt, then you could have opted for zobo drinks which is cheaper and even more delicious than malt drinks.

The problem most Nigerians have when it comes to weddings is that, while they can afford to cater for only 50 guests, they end up inviting 500, just so they can have more contributions from them.

If your budget can only entertain 50 people, then plan for that number and don't end up inviting more numbers so you don't serve them biscuits just like the OP.

SecretSpy666 and most people conveniently avoided this post . So much truth in it but instead they are stuck on how to wed with 20naira.

Whatever you guys do, don't serve biscuits to your guests. If you cannot afford decent food, maybe it's a sign that you shouldn't wed yet.

CAPSLOCKED:

I SUSPECT YOU'RE AN IMPOSTOR.

GUYS, IMALMA'S ACCOUNT HAS BEEN HACKED. .

Lol...why are you boys making a fuss? I only speak my mind and if it offends you or you don't agree with it, that's your kettle of fish.

ojuu4u:
Go back and read how you sparked in your first reply to my post. A married woman who was shy enough not to let her siblings knw what she was going tru in the name of 3some in her marriage, doesn't shy enough to tell u friend an outsider who couldn't do anything in situation she found herself......if you know how to talk millions are out there who know how to read between the lines


A married wife who was shame not to tell siblings but confident enough to show her unclothedness for *guys who wasn't her husband to do wild 3some? In fact you are the only one who can think properly

"And you don't blame the husband at all because he is a baby that they have to "not allow to talk to girlfriends "

And who told you she begged to marry him? You enjoy jumping into conclusions?

This why she didn't come out of it on time. Because of Jigdinas like you"

And the bolded was the sparkling you are referring to...that made you call me a biitch and concluded that I am the one in the story?

Ok. I will leave you to your conclusion. Enjoy

donstan18:
And I thought you'll never make a reasonable comment on this forum.

Like you know what reasonable is.

ojuu4u:
Am 100% sure you are the lady in picture but put the story as it was ur Friend.....I will advise you to go and read the comment you yourself posted.......if you are not dog or IndecentStar....no sane husband not boyfriend o, will approach you to have 3some with him in which another guy not even girl will join him

Infact you are a bitch

According to ur story, who eventually lost was it not you/ your friend?



NB. If you are not a type who begs guy for relationship, the husband can never imagine asking for rubish called 3some

Chai!!! Na wa o. People are so closed minded that they don't even have the capacity to process information without going into a range.

So why are you blowing hot? Why are you crying more than the berieved? Even calling be a biitch. You are really messed up

Accusing me for being the lady in my story is supposed to make me do what? Defend myself?

Abeg shift with your small mindset and conclusion jumping self. If you cannot deal objectively with a matter, go and sleep.

Babygal2020:
Maybe you had a smooth pregnancy!!!!
I have tried my best to apologize to him. Let me just focus on my condition and deliver this baby.

That's what you assume that I had it smooth.

Smooth or not, would you shout at your CEO? Not supervisor o. I am just being real here and not trying to upset you. You should take responsibility for what you did rather than blame it on the pregnancy.

The bolded might be the way to go.

SecretSpy666:
I registered on this platform to tell my story and encourage other Nigerian youths who may have humble background like me, not to give up.

I did one of the craziest wedding in human history. I can’t stop laughing now as God has changed our story

COST OF THE WEDDING IN DETAIL:
Statutory marriage (court wedding) – took place in December, 2015

The court wedding was contracted at the marriage registry of Kano State, opposite Emir Sanusi’s palace, Kano municipal. Here are what I spent:
1) Wedding Certificate fee N8,000
2) Wedding ring N1,500
3) Clothes for the wedding for both of us (including sewing) N13, 600
4) Two crates of multina N5000
5) One carton of Digestive biscuit N600
6) Transport for both of us (kake napep) N200 (to and fro)

Total: N 28,900

No reception

Few invitees and no much celebrations


TRADITIONAL WEDDING:
I spent about 35,000 including clothes.

HOW IT STARTED

I was posted to Kano for my NYSC in 2014 August, Batch B. I fell in love with this beautiful lady and we had similar historical background. Before I completed my NYSC, I got admission to Bayero University for my master degree programme (march, 2015). I didn’t have what it takes for marriage and there was no help from anywhere. I really wanted to dump her and focus on my study but she never let me go.

She told me she want to go for master too, we hurriedly applied for her during the late application period, she was lucky she got admission to study community health. She took me to her parents who are based in Kaduna but are from Okrika in River state. Her parents are educated and gave me good advice and encourage us to get serious with our studies. The father told me to pay N5,000 as bride price and I spent about 30,000 for a very quiet traditional wedding.

In Kano, we live in a single room (self contain) opposite Bayero University gate, going to school together. I started a part time teaching with Al-Furkaan Science Academy with 18,000 salary and also work it for her to be teaching there too for 15,000 salary. The school management did not know that we are couple. Some teachers there were even trying to talk to her….
After our coursework, as if God was waiting for us to complete the coursework, boom!!! I was called by an agro allied company based in kano for interview. I applied online for the job. I got the job and we were both happy!!!

Three months later, my wife got a job with an NGO working in communities in Kano and Jigawa. Not long after, we moved to a two bedroom flat and got a car. We had a baby boy now and building a house in Otukpo, Benue state.

THIS IS MY TESTIMONY……
Start little and God we increase it…
I was so ashamed then and the people laughing at us them are now coming to begg us for money and support.

Now my wife is saying we should do a flamboyant, expensive, and gorgeous church wedding and invite all the people we invited during the low-key court and traditional marriage...and invite all friends, foes and all the people laughing at us at that time....

You could have spent a bit more especially for decent food and you would still be fine and still be able to rent a two bedroom 3months after, buy a car and build your house.

I have attended a parlour wedding before with just about 30 people. They did a court wedding then moved to their sitting room. They just made sure there was enough food to go round

abumeinben:
Bros....na so wedding spose be. I nor know why person go dey spend millions for wedding. Money wey couple spose spend for 2 years, dem go splash am one day.

That's not how weddings are meant to be. Can ou serve your guests biscuits at your wedding? Must he marry at that time? Why not save more?

Why did you shout at him na? And why do we blame things on pregnancy? You will never shout at your boss, your father inlaw, Pastor no matter how the pregnancy makes you feel. It's probably see finish and he knows that too.

Try and find a way to go there and apologize to him.

OlawaleBammie:
geezz, finding it difficult to bliv, how can I call some people and watch dem bang my wife before me?

cant even happen with my gf talk more of wife

It was ladies that he was bringing to join, not men

Worse happening. I am sure you have heard that there are swinging clubs/groups in Lagos where they exchange spouses.

ojuu4u:
If the story is true, I blame your friend 1001% . Wives shouldnt even given husband freedom to talk about their girlfriends not to talk of allowing husband to have 2some, what a shame on such wife

When a girl begging man to date him and marry him, this is one of consequences.......man/guy must humble himself to ask for relationship and will ladies must have been totally convinced before going for marriages

And you don't blame the husband at all because he is a baby that they have to "not allow to talk to girlfriends "

And who told you she begged to marry him? You enjoy jumping into conclusions?

This why she didn't come out of it on time. Because of Jigdinas like you.

zexy2030:
Perhaps she started it and hubby felt that would make her happier. Instead of cheating on me behind me, he initiated and approved the cheating, such that she will not claim her marriage is boring that's why she cheated.
The husband knows her type probably.
Once u have a password, you will always have it.
Not that she doesn't like it...she is just thinking about the African society to the sexual liberality of her husband.
Mostly unchurched bqckgrounds

Why are you so quick to put the blame on the woman? Are you prejudiced towards women? Please be objective at all times

In this case, the husband started it and her mistake was that she accepted it at first for whatever reason. It was no longer ok with her and it was obvious she would be sentenced to the act as her husband was not stopping it.

It was hard for her to ask for help or tell family because they would ask her why she accepted it in the first place.

I bear my husband's 1st name as my middle name and then his surname. That's another way to do it. That's my culture anyway

I think it's routine when the lady is married. They might think it's malaria or typhoid meanwhile it's natural symptoms of pregnancy.

Besides, if they do only malaria and it's positive, doing pregnancy test would make him know the drug to prescribe. Not all drugs go well with pregnancy. Supposing he doesn't check for malaria, he prescribes drugs and she has a miscarriage, won't you say he should have tested for pregnancy?

Work on yourself and your expectations first before you subject one poor lady to your own imperfections and baggage.

Oh! You thought you were perfect and would be God's gift to the lady? . You so naive

A friend of my friend left her marriage years back because her husband used to make her do threesomes with different people. When they had a family meeting and they asked the reason, she said domestic violence because she couldn't just tell the truth.

Things are happening o

Curiouscity:
Sadly, this thread is not about me and my marriage challenges. But, my partner has a wrong view about money and responsibilities. She is yet to understand what family mean, or where her focus should be.

She works, but she expects me to run the house, and still take care of her extended family members.

It's because you condoned it from the start. Now it has become your responsibility.

Maybe next time she asks you for money for them, you should tell her to assist them with what she earns. After a while, when she sees it's not easy, the demands will reduce

decatalyst:
In most cases, it means more responsibilities and stress for the guy.

Let's not even talk about finances, he may not be ready to provide the needed leadership responsibilities for you and your siblings...it could be draining emotionally and financially.

It's a real man that looks beyond this and go for what he wants.

It has nothing to do with being a real man. Parents should not abandon their own responsibilities and push them to their child and her husband to shoulder. It is a setup and if the guy refuses, they will say he's a bad person. Meanwhile they are the bad people for having children that they cannot cater for.

Since it's a one bedroom apartment, she should avoid entertaining people that spend the night. Because they will have no choice than to sleep on the "matrimonial " bed.

Jozzy4:
If the point raised are so trivial , Do you now accept someone who accept transfusion all because the blood is not passed through the mouth is not different from a person who accepts alcohol through the vein yet claiming he didn't drink through the mouth ? Or someone who says he has abstain from fornication as the Bible said , all because he had sex from another route different from vagina , the Anus ?

Are you saying drinking blood is the same as passing it through the vein for medical purposes?

So why was the doctrine reversed? Did the JW Bible change?

Jozzy4:
Firstly, I guess you have no rebuttal to the points raised.

Nevertheless, Bible says avoid/abstain blood , JW's still follow that command.

The points raised are trivial. So I guess people who eat cake also take alcohol too.

Abstain/avoid...whatever. they still follow that command because they had been made to believe the doctrine for decades. Changing it now means it was a mere doctrine that people lost their lives to and not necessarily what the Bible says.

The word of God doesn't change. It is always the same.

Jozzy4:
Am actually using that premise of yours that babies go to heaven when they die.
You know you are the one who beliefs babies who died are automatically heaven candidate, isn't it better to save Lifes by allowing the child to die instead of growing up to be exposed to sin and becoming an hellfire candidate in the process?

But why are you lying? Where in our discussion did I mention the bolded?

Is this a feature of JWs? Reading their meanings into things, twisting and turning words?

Why not be plain and clear in your discussion? Why are you saying what I didn't say?