₦airaland Forum

ZIMDRILL:
your missing the other point

even if the two families are now taken as one, the husband/wife has to lead you in how to take care of his parents, because s/he has to discuss first with his/her brothers/sister and then these brother/sister have to take the agreed way forward to their own respective husband/wives

And thats when you tell your wife/husband what have been agreed in looking after your own parents thats when two of decide on which contribution or role to play .


this thing of two families became one is con, very few in -laws visit each other, i dont mean daughter/son in law but the parents of couple visiting each other

The hubby doesn't have to lead you on how to care for his sick parents. Imagine my mum inlaw is in the hospital...do I have to wait for my husband to say "go and see her". What if he is not available to be reached to give the instruction?

If my mother is in the hospital, out of love and worry, I will run there to see her...to be there for her. And that is how it should be for my mum inlaw too.

It's the judgemental attitude towards women, slut shaming, suppression attempt that gets to me. Any man who does these has an inferiority complex. He feels threatened and feels the need to put women down to elevate himself. That's the definition of a weak man.

What were you both discussing during your courtship days? There are some issues that should have been trashed out while dating so that you know you are on the same page.

maasoap:
Lol. Let's scare them o

Please let them marry who they want o. That idea that marrying a rich guy will pose problems later is a fallacy created by the "not rich" ones in a bid to keep the women to themselves.

Thiwalade:
for someone like you, I don't deserve love or relationship at this time? You lack foresight honestly? 2 years from now my PhD won't be a waste and I may earn more than the BSc collecting 100k? FYI, I left an 100k job to continue on my dreams. Didn't stop my lady from believing in me.

But with the 10k, will you venture into marriage now? Without any other source of income?

pmoye:
I think you're the very type of uncle-dash-me I am talking about here. I now understand your pain-ment.

I deliberately clarified that it's not all the ladies in my life that do this, and that compared to other ladies from other countries that this particular behavior seems to come from Nigerian girls. And you still come here to express your pain-ment. This wouldn't be about you if you didn't decide to make it about you.

I don't beg guys for money ... yen yen yen. It's a new year babe, change your way and hustle your hustle in peace. If your hustle is in the Olosho field, then let guys know that. It's a legitimate work.

Now I truly understand the statement that...people judge everyone based on their own experiences. They don't have the capacity to stretch their minds to other possibilities than what they have experienced. So I understand.

Aside that, you can keep whining like an overgrown baby.

pmoye:
You have problem with comprehending simple English. Read the original post again to see how I made deliberate effort to put this in perspective. But you appear to be coming up with a knee-jerk defense for girls that do this. You are simply trying to make excuse for something that is not excusable. If you have difficult comprehending this, it is not compulsory for you to comment.

I don't beg guys for money neither do ladies around me. So if you generalize that it is peculiar to all Nigerian ladies, that's where the problem is.

I have difficulty in comprehension for "your" kind of English

pmoye:
No, it is not my surrounding. It is something common to Nigerian girls. I have girls from other countries in my contact list and this particular behavior I only experience with Nigerian girls. This has nothing to with attraction. These are not even girls I am interested in. Just girls that know me and by virtue of my work get access to my mobile number.

That means it's one of the two. Because they are so many financially independent Nigerian women, contrary to the ones you happen to meet.

Whether they are my parents or not, sick elderly people need care from people around them, especially those who they consider family. And I would do all I can to help them.

How come you have many of this type of girls around you? Is it your surrounding or the kind of girls you attract?

Mgbadike80:
If the man is of sound character and focused in life then the answer is yes. My sister should work to support her husband, she's not a piece of furniture in his home. I believe that's what the bible said too.

Theory

It is not every lady that will marry someone she is starting little with.

It is not every rich person that loses the wealth later (this example is becoming cliche and stale)

Some ladies will marry wealthy and already made men and enjoy their marriage(nothing wrong with this). Some won't enjoy it.

Some ladies will marry guys that they will suffer with and enjoy their marriages(their choice too). Some won't enjoy it.

It's the "not rich" ones that keep criticizing ladies for marrying a rich guy and even try to scare them with the "money will disappear" narrative.

Everyone's choice is personal and they should not be trolled for it

descartes400:
Answer the damn. Qkwesion

Did he broke the V? Yes or No!

I want to know!

Sings...I want to know what makes you crryy, so I can make you cry the mooore.

....just teasing ooh

Yes or no...my answer will mean nothing to you. So just go and drink water and be fine

BadLuckonmyGame:
he broke the V?

Indeed. It's always about sex for many of you guys on this forum. Your minds and brains do not have the capacity to proceed past that

Goodgod213:
Lol which reasonable man will set up business for a wide holed woman when he has sweat almost 20 years of his life struggling to make his life comfortable. Babe rich day Marry rich now. Poor day marry poor. Obviously you know nothing about men at all at all

So not true. And not every woman is "wide holed" like the ones you have encountered. And you need to start having more respect for women even in your uncouth words.

Even one of my neighbours...very clean and pretty lady (not working or doing business yet) married to a wealthy man. They have a son who is her present preoccupation.

As I earlier mentioned, wealthy guys marrying jobless girls is very common especially when some men prefer a housewife who can care for the kids. And whether you agree or not, more wealthy guys marry.poor girls than the other way round

You narration is so sore to the eyes and can make one dizzy. No comprehensive, incomplete statements. It's like you were writing for your own understanding

Return change...hmmm. At least I cannot throw the money away na. I could use it for something that is needed also or just keep it. In my own case, he doesn't ask for the money back because he knows I get his back...lol

Twoclans:
This is a strong one ,I had a colleague who laid such a curse on her husband and the guy lost a well paying oil and gas job then and things went under for him for years .That guy was jobless for almost ten years Until recently when she by her self went out and found solution for him and he got another job.Their is power in the tongue .

Anyway make sure you get something doing and make your money ,this generation of men do not want to shoulder any form of liabilities .They are ballers .They are not like our fathers .You cannot sit at home and keep calling a man for your upkeep ,not this generation of men.Even erection dey hard them sef .

Sometimes, you don't even have to speak. An ex of mine called me some weeks. He asked if I still held a grudge against him. He said he had dated almost 20 girls after me but it never just works out. We dated more than a decade ago. He said I should forgive him if I held a grudge and say a prayer over the phone for him which I did.

The funny thing is that I never placed any curse on him though I cried painfully during that period. I told him I didn't hold a grudge. It was like a movie

jakandeola:
mama baby I dont like dis

Is there anything I say that you like? Apparently, we don't agree on any issue

Lightangel65:
You and man's pride, I blame men who pay attention to women, life is short that are just waiting it away, leaving meaningful things like games and traveling.
Seems men make women lazy, if men start marrying rich ladies all these talks won't happen.

Am I wrong about the bolded?

Men marry rich ladies also but my point is that a wealthy man marrying a jobless lady is very common. Some men even prefer it because they want a housewife that would be home to bring up the children.

Will you agree to be a house husband?

xendra:
just marry any woman and be nice to her. illiterates kill husbands too or have you not read?

the problem men have is they want someone they can trample on that will take it. theres no such person NOBODY likes being taken for granted, she'll only be counting days... hehehe

all this : marry illiterate, marry under age, thinking that will help you get away with anything mean say you never ready to marry for this generation.

They are looking for a "yes" person. Someone that they can walk over that won't question their actions. Someone they can bully and suppress. They don't realize that when an "illiterate" woman starts to manifest, it comes with a lot of ignorance, unenlightenment, uncouthness that they won't be able to handle.

Dbeautyy:
For those saying he cheats I cheat. Hmm, just remember that two wrongs can never make a right.

Then he should try to be right instead of wrong. Why should he be wrong and expect his partner to be right?

Apination:
Who's even a broke guy? A guy who's capable of feeding clothing and putting a shelter over his head but earns 25k monthly, and is able to save Or a celebrity living in a mansion, has a car, fancy dresses, eats in expensive restaurants but is in debt, which of them is broke?

25k in this present economy is not even enough to take care of basic needs. If such a guy gets a gf, he will be frustrated and angry always. It is better for a guy to be comfortable so that he won't ask "am I your father" when his lady makes a request or be termed "materialistic". And he won't be paranoid everytime...thinking someone is trying to snatch her...

Rebelworld:
If a woman does not have a very steady income or is financially stable, she should not think of men or marriage!

Fortunately or unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. A man can marry a struggling lady and set her up with a job, business, etc. However, it doesn't work that way for men because they are seen as the major breadwinner. Besides, a man's pride won't let him

uninspired07:
I know this my thread might get some people angry but it’s a subject that surprises me whenever I think of it. How do normal Nigerians who are educated have more than 2 children in a country like Nigeria with all the poverty & hopelessness? I am still single but I have it in mind to lay a ground rule that whichever woman I marry must agree to family planing methods after the birth of the 1st child whether male or female. And if the 1st baby is male, we can as well wait for another 5 years before having a baby of either sex as the last.

But I wonder when I see Nigerians that are [b]not so wealthy giving birth to 4 - 5 kids in the midst of grinding economic depression [/b]and in a nation that has clearly failed. Don’t these Nigerians know that the country can descend into war anytime due to the instability that is so palpable? I get afraid when I see couples who have 4 children in this day & age so I always wonder how they are coping with the stress & the bills. I also wonder why they are not afraid of Nigeria.

The bolded is kind of true.

Where I work, the regular and senior staff have an average of three children. But the drivers...two have 5. Another has 3 already and he's the youngest(obviously not done yet). The oldest has just two though.

It's a funny world. I always ask these people if their children are on scholarship

Someone will still come and say she should try to find out what the husband is going through that made him lash out. Or she should apologize to him for peace to reign.

Some husbands take advantage of the "head of the house" title and try to bully their spouses. Everyone, whether husband or wife should be responsible for their actions and apologize when they mess up instead of forming silent treatment to cover their shame.

michlins:
The woman has no bridesmaids?

Congratulations though. Beautiful couple

This is a traditional marriage. Bridesmaids are found in white weddings

Eaztzide:
Ohh
Konji na bastard

Don't blame konji falsely.

Brock202:
Hi everyone, i dont want to bore you with long talk.
I need your advise on this issue,
Me and this girl have been in a relationship for over a year now, she posses some of the features i want in my woman but she's lacking one thing which is intelligence, i always be the one to bring up a topic we can talk about, I've never meet her for advice or anything that bothers me because i know she can't proffer any solution to it, we don't use to chat on WhatsApp after saying hi and i reply, how was your day that's the end, I'm the only one that bring up issue to discuss everytime but now am tired of it, I've complained to her several times but she said she don't what to say, I've sent her some books to read but she didn't read any of them. I'm thinking of breaking up with her because i can't cope with her again and then i decide to give it a second thought that's why i put it here if there is any other tips i can use to build her up to my taste

Advise me please!

Obviously that is something that is important to you...being able to have a conversation with your woman. You need someone that can engage you because these things get more noticed in marriage. Such things have made husbands look outside

[quote author= post=85253284]Aunty bystander, can you just shut the F Up?!

This instant judgement and condemnation by some Nigerians is getting outta hands.
Even on issues they don't know ANYTHING about.
To them almost 99% of girls are wayward.
And it is not as if this aunty bystander will be a saint!

Rubbish and annoying people everywhere!


See dem!
SMH!!

Make u no pursue money now,
Make u dey pursue tissue paper!

Nairaland will let you know how the mind of an average Nigerian works [/quote]Some people do not have the ability to use their brains maximally. They think in only one direction.

The victim is already labelled "wayward", "runs girl" without any facts or proof. I just hate judgemental behaviour.

Bloooody:
I swear if New castle doesn't trash man u call me a fool!

Fool