₦airaland Forum

freshkpomo:
this is not her fault its the chauvinist settings in Africa.... To here you are a slave to every member of your husbands family loool... Is there tribal differences?

freshkpomo:
you saw these things before u entered right

OrestesDante:



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∆ You know, I watched how things roll recently then I realized everyone at one point or the other isn't perfect. Men accuse ladies of being whorish. But men are also the authors of bigger messes...This one is clearly a murderer. Whether accidental or not what could have prompted this? Barely four months after wedding.
I think choosing a life partner needs more of God's guidance than mere human calculations and predictions we make especially here on nairaland. ∆


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freshkpomo:
ImaIma1 sorry to say this...all yourpoints have been directed towards defending the woman folks which is kinda biased...let me ask you,if it was your mother acting all those drama towards you,will you despise her like you are doing to your mother inlaw right now Secondly,you are a woman ,your son(s) will get married then you will understand this better...mother inlaws dont hate their daughter inlaws,most cases i have seenhave been caused by either the wife's altitude towards things or trying to control the man,or maybe the family never wanted their son to wife her in the first place..though some families can hate you for no reason loool...but daughter inlaws are still to be blamed cos they wont treat they are becoming one with a man and yet the can't take his family as their,even after adopting the family name.... Well i will end this debate here as i feel we have kinda deviate from the original thread...nne put your house in order,you are lucky to have a good man....don't joke with husband's family oh,they can ruin your marriage,try to stay close to the,no matter what!!

Elijahrona:
Lol. It's vital we know the differences Sha.

Lalasticlala food is ready

PurplePatch:


What a world! He Killed his wife after just four months of martial life They were never in love.
These are the possible scenarios:

1. He wanted to pride himself as having a beautiful wife irrespective of her manners, but low and behold he couldn't stand the real her anymore.

2. She never loved him but because He was capable of taking care of her materially, she agreed to marry him.

Moral of story: The first and foremost thing in marriage is good manners. Never! I repeat never ever marry your partner solely because of good looks. For the ladies, wealth is not a yardstick.

He who has ears, let him HEAR.

Olalan:
Really don't pity women that fall victims to abuse or neglect from these stars cause most times they force themselves on these guys, with the aim of getting them hooked to them though a baby

b0rn2fuck:
sometimes for account balance reason or business associate, you don't expose everything to a woman if you want peace or you account for every single penny

nezer83:
Ima I agree with you that few should not be used to qualify all, but then 90% crop of modern ladies have that domineering tendency especially in the early days of marriage, they want to make the rules and dictate who comes and who gets what, most times against the man's family, all in the name of protecting her family.
I once had a gf who wanted to try that rubbish with me 3x, it was enough to tell me the kind of wife she will be. When I changed my attitude and gave it back to her nobody told her to park well and stay away.
Men should take charge of their marriage especially at the early stage, never give unnecessary room.
Let every member of the family know their place including the inlaws.

nezer83:
See Ima, a cousin got married his wife insists that anytime his family members including his mum needs money or anything from him, they should first consult her or request through her. But when she earns her money she distributes to her mum and siblings without his knowledge or passing through him. Now tell me, is this the cleaving u preach??
Fear women!!

freshkpomo:
nne quit the story thing... In my large extended family ,we have trained upto 50 inlaws(the ones i can count) for our various wives(my uncles).... Women always have their way....and you pushing family away from your family will cause more harm atime than good,if the man and the woman does not have a skeleton in their cupboard both families an always visit once in a while...i trust my family as they do not intrude into marriage related issues,dont know about other families though......woman are possessive in nature,and dont forget that them dey like compete with themselves die..hence its natural for many woman not to love their mother inlaws..them prefer their husband brothers to sisters and mother T or F??

themodernman:
This exactly is what I mean by not forgiving them....the letting go aspect is what I'm tryna do, it's not as if I'm gonna be planning how to hurt them or something, but we'll simply NEVER be a family again once I've repaired my battered esteem.

There are family you're born into and there are those you choose....

freshkpomo:
either you are not in Nigeria or you are not in Nigeria,either way you are still not in Nigeria.how can you say an average Nigerian man should not be scared of the unkown,with the way Nigerian ladies are these days,majority of them can never be seen talking about marriage,all you hear from them is wedding this,wedding that..its only the wedding thing they have in their head,the fantasy of putting on a white gown,and ring and the kissing thing..then honey moon haha..outside that most of them hardly prepare for the marriage life...i have seen several girls with that mindset to the extent that one proposed to me,nne i wont lie oh i ran for my dear life..the fact is most Nigerian ladies just want the marriage cos of the activities that go with the wedding,and you are telling me not to be observant and careful with such women??nne say something else... And let ,me not even go in details cos the rate at wish young women are digging gold these day,we might run out of gold in the future....the quest to get married to rich men is now another problem on its own,i pity those everage guy still hustling to get to the top..cos an average Nigerian lady sees marriage as a means of getting rich quickly,and you are here telling me not to be scared of the unknown abi Clap for ya self!

Tedassie:
Like you do not wish it was your ass.

Pls move ahead!!













#asskissingonpoint

themodernman:
The one thing I'll avoid totally is the autocracy that comes with having to respect one's senior. I hate that thing to the core cos it only ends up destroying the self-esteem of an individual, especially the lastborn in most cases of whom I am unfortunately one-everybody transferred their aggression and vented their frustration on me but I had no one to let off steam to. So it all just built up till it turned into hatred, frustration, damaged self esteem and eventually depression.

I'll have the courage and boldness to apologize to my kids when I wrong them without fearing disrespect from them....this is what my mom and siblings NEVER do, infact they won't even keep quiet or bribe you with gifts sef like other families do, they'll rather twist it all till they find a way to absolve themselves of them and possibly even push it to your doorstep.

I went through hell in my family to the point that I decided to stay away from them and pray for their prosperity without my help. I pray they never need my presence to make it in life cos I honestly can't stand their disgusting behaviour.

Like yesterday my elder sister, a 38year old lady drank purewater, put the remaining in a cup and dropped it on the sofa. She does this most times but I always remove it for her without even telling her, till yesterday when some of the water from the pure water had spilled on the sofa makimg it wet, because the cup had turned sideways. I told her gently that the water she puts on the sofa has now made the chair wet, instead of her to accept her mistake and say oh thanks jarey, she rather went defensive by saying she puts it in a cup now and it's not supposed to pour out that way. I was just pissed off internally, cos was she even supposed to put purewater nylon in a cup and place it on a sofa in the first place?

I just logged off her matter cos i knew then that she was a waste of time and a lost course.

fuckerstard:
None of my kids would go to school outside Lagos especially university, so i can visit them in school every other day and see how they are doing. I said that because i live in Lagos.

Na only twice my people come visit me for university in another state, I free like bird, na street OT man use survive, if them dey come check me frequently it would have really made sense.

Adukey:
I hated this in my year one, my dad would just come unannounced, not that I go out of school o. I won't do that to my children, it made me feel like I was still a baby that needed monitoring every time.

tete7000:
People go into marriage thinking it won't last. Marriage built on foundation of sand of distrust and mutual suspicion. Na by force to marry if you already from inception thinking it is not going to work? Devil has indeed taken over the hearts of people and enslaved them with his reign of fear.

Ziggylady:
True talk sis..Imagine doing only traditional marriage like one is a herbalist and fore-going court marriage..Story for the press!!...

What then is the evidence to the state we are married??...Marriage Certificate issued by the court is what embassies even require and recognise....and like you said,churches legit churches insist on Court marriage before they wed one in church..

P.s..is actually funny how some guys who 'managed' to agree to Court marriage are talking about 'pre-nup'....'Pre-nup' in their one-room apartment with one mattress,stove,TV and fan

9ja males and their delusions no go kee me

Ziggylady:
It is only a foolish woman who will agree to marry a man who resists court marriage....A big fool she is.

Masterppower:
My dear, it's better imagined than experienced....

My bros lost everything cos of such.. ...

freshkpomo:
your mum is not your wife and so she wont prevent you from caring for your wife,bt the fuse here is that some men completely forget about their famliy immediately after they get married all in the name of clinging to their wives..and lastly the care your mum gave to you is something you should pay for for the rest of your life.and as for your wife, she should also be taken care of as the mother of your kids but not you making her lord of your life...u go to houses you see the woman's family members living there...and yet the man's family rarely visit........women are smarter than men in marriage,they know family..unlike men!!!

poseidon12:
He buys everything in your name? And his dad did the same? I guess he and his dad have been lucky so far, that they have not met a gold digger. So what is wrong in buying everything in his, and your name?
I hope you will also be happy to have your sons be buying everything in the names of their wives (your daughters-in-law).
I guess you guys are assuming that he would leave this earth first. What if you leave first? Then he would have to go through the process of changing the titles to his name. And it is not an easy process.