₦airaland Forum

SoFi and Ally banks are making everyone to sit up with their 4% interest rate.

They will soon run the big banks out of market.

Apple wan join too, okay.

Meanwhile, God punish Chase bank.

Ladies always go for retired preeks but if I go for an oyibo granny now, they will say I'm marrying a vegetable for green card.

Ask this one now, she will say he pampers her as if we don't pamper the grannies we marry.

Ike gwuru.

Her body, her life and her marriage so doing whatever she wants is her prerogative.

My own is that she should not cry when another pu**y begin hungry her husband.

In my gender's case, we don't usually waste time contemplating, we simply go straight for the sidechicks once they enter our eyes.

I saw what Hakimi did as betrayal of marriage trust but this thread is one of the reasons I have restrained myself from condemning his actions.

I can't say if it's wrong or right. Growing up, I remember my mum had her room but never slept there for once.

Even after my dad passed, she still slept in the room they shared.

Her room was just a trophy room which I once used to make my girlfriend feel like a queen that year.

shantti:
Wait, is shomanshop what you are calling soursop. Inukwa!!!!

He got me confused too aswear.

See how he just murdered the name of that fruit.

Is he now more intelligent than my grandma that called showashop? Hian.

At that age, I would carry a cow as long as I was sure of getting good share of the meat.

As a kid, I never needed help getting juice from our very tall fridge. I simply plan and successful execute a climbing session and satisfy my urge but tell me to get the same juice for a stranger, I would tell you my hand no go reach am and face my game boy.

Tell those kids now that the drinks are only for visitors and they will tell you that their hands and legs are paining them.

Every woman wants Hakimi as son but not as horseband.

This life sef.

Watch and see how he will suddenly become friends with Amelika.

Kobojunkie:
1. Divorce instead means the strategy employed in your previous relationship failed, and you have a chance to do better in your next attempt. You do not divorce yourself from all marriages but from a particular marriage.

So long as you are in this "error and contradictions" prone state called life, expect failures. If you take anu of it personally, you are bound to wreck yourself. If you pretend it all has no meaning, you fool yourself. Best is to take it for what it is which is an opportunity to learn from mistakes so you can move forward and make less of the same.

I'm not trying to argue with you I take God beg you but divorce simply means both the husband and wife have failed. No need for long grammar or motivational writeup about it.

Marriage is a treaty and they both signed to keep it running. In that treaty, there is no clause for divorce or I no gree again so going against it simply means they failed.

If they move on and succeed in subsequent marriages, that's gonna be a different topic.

I strongly encourage separation though, especially when physical abuse is involved.

When you insist on being Nigerian everywhere you find yourself, you'll definitely be experiencing loneliness.

Break your barriers, widen your horizon, make friends across racial divides, try out foods and cultures of other races, try careers different from the ones trending among your people. etc. You must not be a nurse or a security guard in Amelika.

Those that do the things I listed may never experience loneliness abroad. But in doing that, never ever forget your root.

Thanks to platforms like nairaland for helping me keep my own Nigerianity.

lilyheaven:
Please it’s not good to marry a bad husband 😂

You're right but when faced with two evils, it's safe to choose the lesser one.

The lady in question here is married to a family full of manipulations and if care is not taken, she may lose her sanity.

Her husband is neither here nor there which is why she is currently going through emotional trauma.

When family members treat their son right and treat his wife wrong, there is monkey hand in the soup. I don't trust her husband, that's my point.

You saw the red flag and still went ahead with the wedding. That's your first mistake.

It's better to marry bad husband in a good family than marry a good husband in a bad family.

For the records, I don't trust your husband. He either is a weak man or he was involved in this somehow. His recent lovey dovey with his sister when you are clearly hurting is questionable. I don't mean his sister should be his enemy but a good man should try to resolve your issues with his sister before doing what he is currently doing. I personally see it like they are both mocking you, I could be wrong.

Right now, the ball is in your court. If you can survive the emotional torture, then enjoy your marriage but if you can't, well...

Our relationship ended and my feelings for her died on that same day.

That's all.

If you need my advice, I'll say discipline yourself and if you can't, learn the habit of putting 90 percent of the money in a bank as fixed deposit as soon as you get it until you are able to discipline yourself.

But if you think deliverance is what you need, go to mountain of fire. It's that simple.

Everyone is born with common sense, you lose yours by the choices you make every day.

Stop smoking and drinking in excess, it doesn't make you woke.

Also, having multiple sex partners doesn't make one a big boy. Do things in moderate and see your life turn around quickly.

Shalom.

TheRealOwner:
Cool story. But it sounds rather too idealistic. Lola seems to be a jobless people pleasing house wife with no dreams, ambitions and schedule of her own.

I like the message you are passing across, but this story is too good to be true on so many levels

It takes about 5minutes to ask papa and mama in law kedu ka unu mere and it takes about another 5minutes to ask house maid to or to round up their dirty clothes yourself and load in a washer. It doesn't reduce your self worth as woman even if you a professor.

I will keep saying that attitude of inlaws towards their daughter in law is oftentimes a follow up to hers.

Also, Anambra inlaws have this soft spot for foreign wives. In my family, ladies married from other states are treated as egg. They can never do wrong.

I took my time to read your epistle and one thing I quickly noticed is that you two are no longer couples but strangers, competing ones at that.

You are yet to see her true color because you still support your home financially. The worst in her will manifest if anything happens to your income.

Whenever a woman opens her mouth to say let's dissolve this marriage or this relationship, I would go for it immediately. If you don't, you will remain at her mercy forever and all your efforts in keeping the relationship will be unappreciated and underappreciated by her.

One thing is certain now. Your wife already has an exit plan and she is only waiting for a perfect time to strike. Most times, they don't strike until you are in the lowest of your lows so I suggest you start making your own exit plans because this rain I dey see so, it will definitely fall. It's only a matter of when.

Shalom.

Few takeaways from your post.

1. She might or might not have visited another man for sex. No evidence to support that she cheated on you. Everybody knows the plight of undocumented Nigerians in America especially ladies. It's not always easy for them. They meet all kinds of people for help and it seems you don't offer much to her except free housing.

2. You are full of pride as a man and you are controlling too. You want her to worship you but don't bother to see what it feels like to be in her shoes. You think she is in America to serve you and be a good girlfriend? Bros, she has people at home calling her everyday for one thing or the other. She needs to get that green card by hook or by crook which is what you too would do in her shoes. I'm not saying she should be a prostitute while at it.

3. You don't love that girl, you are only using her simply because she is currently vulnerable and available to you. This is why you quickly pushed her away without listening to her side of the story even if it was a lie.

4. She may be cheating but you sef have plenty other problems to work on as a person.

Shalom

It's not always greener on the other side especially when you travel to obodo oyibo through the window like you did but I must add that you sound lazy too, no offense.

You barely arrived a new country in January and expect to land a CEO job eekwa?

Before you left Naija, you should have had a long term plan in place and this should be your first stage in the plan.

Except you land in US/Canada with permanent resident card, you will most likely pass through the stage you are in now which I term endurance stage.

You are even lucky. Your story is sweet sef compared to the ones I've heard from older Naija men in the States who did three part time odd jobs and still were going to school with all the stress associated with transportation and weather.

These days, as Naija boys arrive yankee, next thing na to buy car and be oppressing people on Instagram.

All I'm saying is bros, sit your ass down and work your way up to the level you wanna be because the opportunity is always there in Canada for you unlike in Naija where it's not guaranteed.

But if you think otherwise, well air ticket is low now. I just bought British Airways PE return ticket for $2,550 so one way ticket from Canada to Naija fit no reach $500 for regular economy. Safe trip back home sir.

Akposy:
Yes but mine was soaked in a combo of rum and orange juice for 3 days

So I will wait for 3days before I eat that?

Mbanu, I'll rather arrange my waffles chop biko.

Patients is a virtue I don't usually have when I'm hungry.

Hannaz:
Ah! The famous headbutt. He deserved it though, wont let any trash talk my siblings in my presence

Damn right.

As soon as you talk trash my family, I'm done with you and you will be lucky if all hell is not let loose.

234GT:
Marry her. There is more to marriage than weight of the wife.

Please disregard this advice.

Marriage is not something you jump into with pity and an unsteady emotion.

Don't marry who you don't like and hope to turn them to who you like. It won't end well.

Someone like her may not even give a fvck about marriage, just the kid so why worry yourself.

Life happens so learn to ride with it.

You say she is a good friend, keep it that way to avoid making a costly mistake. Marriage ain't no joke.

Rtk4:
She said she is tired of the marriage, That the it thing that has been keeping her in the marriage all these while is just the children. She said she wants to leave but she swore to God that if she leaves and i fail to cater for the children, she will take me to human right and other relevant agencies. Please what do you think about this guys and what advice would you give me cos I'm also tired of the marriage.

She is tired of the marriage and you too are but you two were shinning teeth and foolishly dancing at your wedding.

I don't care about what you guys do going forward but I'm particularly interested in what happens to your poor kids.

Please if you can't take proper care of them, take them to their grandparents. It's better they suffer in the village than suffer neglect in your hands.

I hate you two for putting those kids amidst your mess.

I avoid discussing politics in this forum but I'm kinda happy Peter didn't win.

Naija is not ready for people like him as president, not yet. They need some more time to be ready, maybe after a few more generations pass by.

He as president may turn out as worse because all the evil forces of this generation will be working against him so why the waste of time.

Let the usual politicians continue until 100% of Nigerians irrespective of tribe and religion get fed up and yearn for real leadership.

Men awakening.

Kobojunkie:
An ugly past you had formerly had to overlook in order to remain with her?

Nnaa, I'm yet to have dinner so I don't have the strength to argue with you now.

How I wish they had opted for some other route to go about this or maybe there's more to the story.

I can't divorce someone that loves and cares about me simply because she can't conceive a child except if the cause of her infertility is an ugly past of hers and not a natural occurrence.

Caaz:
Nsala yam and 4 innocent akpu

5 kegs of palmwine, 10 cartons of beer, 5 mailtina, 2 packs of cigarettes for efulefu youths, 10 tubers of yam, isiagu dress, 2 wrapper, etc.

Bia babygirl, how much is that your brideprice? Be fast mek I complete this list and come marry you ozigbo ozigbo.

Kindly respond to the above stated inquiry?

Also, have the Northern bureau de changers at airports been able to provide naira in reasonable quantities since the scarcity?

Your answers are needed urgently and will be of immense help to me and maybe others.

Thank you.

Based on your story, everyone except you is wrong but this is just your side of the story, there will definitely be others.

My advice to every married woman is this; see yourself as member of the family you are married to and make sure they know you see them as such.

If they know you see them as family and not as inlaws, they too will start seeing you as family member and not just as daughter in law or sister in law.

When this happens, most of problems and misunderstandings associated with inlaws will be put to rest.

Many wives today see themselves as strangers in their husbands' homes thereby giving room for unnecessary boundaries.

I totally condemn this "my money is my money and your money is our money" mentality in some of our Nigerian sisters' mindset but there is no way you could've missed the red flag while in the dating stage.

Since she thinks this way, I would sit her down and share the responsibilities of the home as partners, not as husband and wife if you understand what I mean.

It may also depend on how she thinks you see and take her. Sometimes, one's conviction of how the other person sees him/her triggers certain overprotective measures.

Shalom.