₦airaland Forum

Hunculu don vex.

This is why I hardly associate with Nigerians and hardly join their numerous "meetings" in the States.

When they see white folks, they will be as humble and as loyal as puppies but as soon as they see their fellow Nigerians, they turn tigers and throw caution way to the wind.

Call the cops on the lady to teach her a lesson. Even if you don't have legit papers, the cops will never bother you as long as you don't have criminal record.

Try making friends with the Jewish and enjoy the country.

If I'm not comfortable enough to disclose how much I earn and how much I'm worth to her, then she is not my wife, maybe my sidechick or some sort of an acquaintance.

Marriage is for adults so when two adults decide to come together as one, they should be ready to bare it all to one another. If not, the marriage has failed the day it was planned.

This topic is for kids who rushed into marriage thinking it's about love whereas love should the last thing to be considered.

If after all the love you've shared with your siblings including sharing your mum's breast, you still fight with them till date then loving someone you never knew from Adam can be a mirage.

Bukoz2014:
Line up as in? Nothing like Lineup here, only need help. Any proof needed will be provided.

This your comment just changed my mind from making an exception.

Good luck in your quest.

Lol, you don't have a problem naa. I wish this your worry is the only issue I had with my ex.

If you see good wife, borrow money and marry her if borrowing is the only option you have.

It's better to pay huge brideprice and marry good woman than to pay cheap brideprice and marry wahala person who will be in love and happy with you only when she receives bank alert from you. The moment you lock up your wallet, you will start seeing a different entity.

I learnt something last week and I will share that knowledge.

There is this house I'm building for an aunty. I sent 3million expecting that before they would request more money, I would see tangible progress at least.

Alas, they requested more money last week with pictures of work so far. I was really not impressed with the progress so I reached out to someone who I met by chance in January and asked his professional opinion.

His advice is this; whenever you're building a house, ignore "sockerpit" and concentrate on the house as long as there is enough space in the site to accommodate the "sockerpit" later. He said that out of the 3milion I sent before, the contractor could have used more than half of it to build the sockerpit.

When I checked the pictures and vouchers they sent me before requesting more money, lo and behold, sockerpit gulped about 1.6million. I've learnt that lesson and thanks to this my "friend".

It's embarrassing but I'm more interested in why she hid it from her husband for that long.

Sometimes when life gets tough, a married woman may be tempted to reach out to friends for help without the knowledge of her husband.

But in such a situation and if she has nothing else to hide, she should tell him everything afterwards and the husband is expected to understand.

If the male helper is a mutual friend, he too would channel the help through the husband as mark of respect.

Per your question. If there is nothing attached to the kind gesture, please let the issue slide. Madam might simply be trying to help.

You could've found love there in the UK, why put yourself in this emotional torture just because you wanted to marry a Nigerian wife.

You are shinning teeth but deep down, you are hurting really bad. Get that marriage dissolved asap and stop deceiving yourself around here.

Nigerian men abroad should stop this hullabaloo about marrying wives from Nigeria, a good wife can come from anywhere.

Based on all you wrote down, you don't trust her and if you don't, don't do that which you have planned to do.

It can only be red flag, not pink flag or horseblood flag and in your case, there are lots of red flags already.

Nothing guides a man more than his instinct, follow it. If it tells you not to do something, don't push it any further.

You did the right thing by going back to your mama house.

There's no shame in being alive which is exactly what you are doing.

You will be having ups and downs now but sooner than you think, you'll remember this day and smile.

Sometimes a bad partner help in accelerating our path to happiness and fulfillment without knowing it.

Shalom.

After reading this, I now wonder if my dad gave me his complete names to make sure his name never fades.

His old friends, some family members and even my own mother are now calling me by his nickname too. So like play like play, "Senior" eventhough dead, wan make my own identity irrelevant. Mbanu.

I've heard so many myths about childbearing but one thing is certain and that is the fact that women lose one thing or the other to pregnancy and childbearing.

I respect women for the stressful journey of pregnancy and childbearing. Men like me will forever be indebted to them for carrying the burden of guaranteeing human existence, a burden many of them carry on their shoulders selflessly.

For the ladies that have fears and doubts, I don't blame them. Mine also had the fear but with time and because of sequence of events that have trailed "us", she had to conquer it. Now, the journey has begun smoothly and nothing can ever make this life sweeter than that.

It's always a glorious moment especially after successfully completing first tour and making your triumphant return a surprise to your loved ones.

Mama should be proud that she now has one of refined few gentlemen in the world.

naijaboy99:
Even for Canada Nigerian nurses don't make $60kCAD. I fvck many of them with 200usd. They still beg me money from Nigeria here. I paid one $17kCAD to help my cousin get his papers. The girl almost collapsed. She get two kids now but still hustling me. Leave all these people

I find your comment ridiculous.

Even ordinary Nurse Assistants make more than 60k in SoCal and NorCal these days.

You need to know there are CNAs, LVNs, RNs with Associate degrees and RNs with BSNs. All of them are called nurses but their pays are different.

Some Nigerians abroad who claim to be nurses are Nurse Assistants popularly called CNAs so when they tell you their pay, don't assume their pay is what they pay nurses hired with BSN.

Another thing is that you can't compare what they pay nurses in San Francisco to what they pay the ones in Central Cali cities like Fresno.

Shalom.

It's tricky but I'm sure this is not the best time to divorce such a man because he is currently in a phase that needs some time to accept reality.

I suggest you have a heart to heart talk with him and give him some more time to figure things out. Tell him not to be afraid to share his fears with you, I believe that's why he has relapsed into depression.

If you leave now, you too will suffer so why not put your two heads together and find a way forward.

Gambling is something men should be seeing as leisure, not as career.

Ebubu3:
Excuse me Sir.
I am a Nigeria trained Pharmacist. Fresh out of university.
I am 26 years of age. Single. Without dependent.
Can you help me to relocate or work for Walgreens Pharmacy chain stores(or any other multinational drug chain store), if they can file me a H1B visa? I recently learnt a lot of Pharmacists are resigning due to pressure work.

I will compensate you. Please i beg you

I'm not a travel agent, sorry.

If I were you, I would log on to websites of Walgreens, Riteaid, CVS and maybe Kaiser Permanente. Send emails via their "contact us" and inquire about openings for nonresident aliens. If they will or will not hire and sponsor your visa, you will get the information directly from them.

Right now, the guaranteed way to relocate to the USA legitimately without stress is via family based visas, marrying US citizen, marrying US permanent resident or becoming fiancee to a US citizen.

Relocating via any of those routes will make America as country wait and plan for your arrival. Any other way, you will sweat and may be frustrated along the way.

Still, give the pharm. companies a try and good luck.

A man living in selfcon as you call it should not be talking marriage.

The said girl is a realist and I commend her for being blunt and sensible.

She knows very well you are not ready yet but you think you are which is rather unfortunate.

There is obviously nothing going between them but I hate when spouses are not each other's best friends.

Your wife has become best of friends with the old man. Stop it now because that kind of friendship sometimes lead to other uncomfortable situations in marriage.

You sound mature enough to handle it well so I don't think you need further advice.

Hashabiah:
Must be stupid. The man openly talks about teaching his son to respect women but fails to emphasize that it works both ways . People like you are the reasons why men in western world are devalued in society.

Anyway, continue living the life of a weak simp . By the time a divorce hits you and you're paying child-support you will know better. Nonsense

So only simps get hit with divorce and child support? Wow.

Thank you sir for this wonderful education.

Hashabiah:
This is stupid man is a simp. How come he's teaching his son to respect women but not teaching his daughter to respect men ...? The western narrative of "women being oppressed by men " is one of the greatest lies ever told in history

You are calling a man stupid and a simp for painstakingly giving his children life lessons.

I bet you haven't for once made good use of your sperm let alone have and nurture a child because if you have, you wouldn't have uttered those words.

You saw a single video and started foaming in anger but do you know if he had taught his daughter the respect lesson in another video.

You guys are too fast to denigrate respectful and non-arrogant men yet they are minding their businesses and not yours.

Learn to live your life and let others live theirs as well.

Shalom.

Lol.

This reminds me of the day I left for work forgetting to turn off my central AC unit at the peak of summer. The stupid thing though in auto was just cooling an empty house at random. Imagine keeping the house temperature at 69 when the outside is in 90s. The AC just dey run dey go almost steady.

I nearly strangled myself at work that day and when my energy bill came for the billing cycle, small thing the amount for reach wetin dem dey use complete bungalow for Obosi.

franchasofficia:
You are revealing too much in an open forum, learn to keep some things to yourself

The aim was not to reveal but to help the brother who said he had 10k savings or so.

If he focuses on me and not my advice on how he can advance with that saved amount, then he will be a fool.

Thanks by the way for your advice. Notes taken.

I do not judge this kind of issues based on one sided story but if the man does all what she says, then this thread should be about an ex-husband and not a husband.

I advocate separation when things don't work in relationship before it gets to physical abuse.

It's better to be single and happy than to be married and miserable.

As one grows older, one will realize that love actually does not exist in this our generation now.

Mutual tolerance, mutual respect and children are the things holding many marriages which is why when any of those is lost, things start going south rapidly.

Though some may be boasting but to raise 250m in naira is not hard for a real estate investor in US.

I believe so much in real estate investment and my new focus is on smaller cities with good prospects.

A lot of guys in the States especially Anambra boys are into real estate and they flip homes all the time which is how some of them get legit money to oppress people back home.

Don't hit yourself too hard, save another 10k making your savings 20k, use it as down payment to buy a home in a small city near you. Don't buy single family home, buy multi family so you can easily rent it out.

The rent you collect will pay the monthly mortgage and still give you some change. Don't use first time home buyer credit because IRS will make you pay it back oo.

After paying the mortgage for two years, buy a second multi family home and grow from there.

Don't worry about the IRS and rental income taxes because you can write them off as expenses when you file your tax return.

The first move to escape low class in the States is to buy a home because paying mortgage is like putting money into your own bank unlike paying rent.

Shalom.

Just have his mumu button, every other thing will be sorted out.

Born pretty daughter give me and I go dey overlook your small small iberibeism.

Any time you provoke me, just carry the babygirl dump on my laps and I will definitely start to smile sheepishly.

ramdris:
Nothing we no dey celebrate in this country...

It's worth celebrating based on Nigeria's standards.

I only hope they don't cut corners with pilots training just to stay afloat in the competitive business this one number of airlines is increasing again in Nigeria.

Mexico chatter plane crash of old which was caused by pilot error due to mago mago with pilot credentials should be a lesson to all.

Even the recent crash in Nepal seems to be pilot error to me judging by the plane footage that I saw, though the ongoing investigation will unravel more.

tnenge:
This is no fiction or story. I DNT want to include name, pictures or state to avoid negative comments from some ppl.
My wife abuses me physically, psychologically and even spiritually.. these are some of my pains..
1. She stopped me from performing any conjugal afffair when she was 3months pregnant till now. Our son is 1yr some months now.
2. Physical abuse
3. Death threats 3 times, when I told her family she brought a defense that she only say that in her anger state.
4. Out of same anger she went out naked bfo ppl in my compound n rain curses on me.
I sent her back to her parents. After some days She went and made some crocodile cries before my parents and now my parents and that of her's are calling to beg, telling me she has repented. Now my family are telling me to err is Human and forgiveness is divine. Am running for my life but my friends are equally saying I shd let go the past.
My fellow nairalanders, i made a promise to make my self and parents proud.. pls advice a brother.

Just because of number 3 and 4, especially number 4, I can never ever take such a woman back.

It's up to you to decide, I've only stated my stand on this and I don't mean no disrespect at all.

Speak less, stop complaining and stop demanding apologies.

Reduce your attention and availability and if you can't take it anymore, opt for separation.

What I've learnt in recent time is that some things are never meant to be but we humans keep forcing it which is why we continue to have issues.

No marriage is perfect but never settle for someone who never appreciates you, someone who belittles and disrespects you even at every small mistake you make.

obinna58:
If she grew with a single father - considerable, infact it’s ok
If she grew with a single mother - run for your life

This forum can cure high BP. Chai

I don't believe in such curses but if he had broken the lady's heart, he should humble himself and apologize to her.

If you don't want to marry a partner you're dating, have a heart to heart talk before ending the relationship to avoid putting people through pain of heartbreak.

I hate people pretending to love when they had exit plans from day one of the relationship already.

You shot yourself in the leg by sharing your plans, your strength and your failures with her.

Must you tell someone your every move in this world where people now take advantage of each other?

In my profession, there are certain skills I still keep to myself. I've instructed in several training sessions and lots of people say I'm a good instructor but I still manage to keep those skills private because I acquired them privately.

I know no one is indispensable but giving them away in a platter will take away the little leverage I still manage to have over some issues.

Learn from your mistakes and good luck.