₦airaland Forum

OAM4J:
This is one of the things that should have been agreed upon before marriage.
All you can do now is plead and try to convince your husband that you can manage without their help and how uncomfortable you are with the idea.

Gbam.

Outstrip:
My own is simple. Nobody is living in my house besides my children and my husband. If he cannot live without his cousins then they can move into another house together. When my Gadget does not feel as good anymore I will go and visit him and get my fix. mscheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew. Cousin ko cousin ni.

      ROTFLOL

Siena:
The only family that will live in our home on a permanent basis, is myself, my wife and our children. That's the way it was with my parents, and it worked well for them. It's the poster's choice to voice displeasure. Those saying, "don't mind her" could do well to remember this.

Gbam again.

  @jumman,
    Living with family members other than the immediate is a recipe for disaster. Depending on your husband's personality - choose a method of application - either plead with him and soften his heart or take the hard road and adamantly refuse, showing him it would mean serious problems between you two. I hope it works out the former way for you. Goodluck.

ogoamaka99:
The BIBLE made a vivid declaration in Hebrew 7:7 “And without all contradiction the less is blessed of the better.” People who understand this principle do everything to tap into the anointed MOG.

Brother Ogoamaka, can you please explain this part a little bit more?

Abraham knew this and gave tithe to Melchizedek in Genesis 14:20 and by reason of that encounter, GOD visited him after. Is it not an irony that SOME sons of perdition and belial in this forum are saying all sort of rubbish against some MOG, while some people are planting seeds of money and expensive vehicles into the lives of these MOG.

Just one small kweshion. Have you sowed these kinds of 'seeds' into the life of an mog? what kind of results did you see?

thanks.

@letty45,

    People have given you plenty of good advice on this thread. I will simply say stop thinking about yourself (and hopes of salvaging an unsalvageable marriage) and start thinking about your child - you need to leave this hell of a marriage for your child's sake since you're the only parent he has. Your baby needs a mother who is stable and emotionally able. Go and stay with family who can support you and help raise your child in a noble manner. Your husband is not your responsibility - you are his. And since he has forsaken you why are you spending time and effort trying to get people to 'talk to him' and 'change him'? Such a loser can only change by himself.

Please for the sake of your child - leave this 'marriage' before it is too late.

[quote author=tpia@ link=topic=716615.msg8755523#msg8755523 date=1311185682]^^thanks.

I'll try that next time.

I didnt have all these problems cooking plantain in nigeria. 

i guessed as much.[/quote]Honestly. I am very suspicious of 'african' or should I say tropical foods that are shipped here. They are almost never the same. Transportation and storage can really have an effect on quality and taste.

datnigga:
tanx y'all for the reply, @ JeSoul, i shud av read your reply b4 buying some plantain but unfortunately, I went to the shops today and bought the unripe one (green) instead of the average one you recommended, i think am jst gona try the unripe one like that and see how it comes out. ve been craving for this boli for almost a week now and can't wait any longeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr,

You're welcome . If you can wait for ~a week it should get mid-ripe (store in a warm place preferably in a tied plastic bag to speed up the process). Make sure you enjoy your bole with some correct roasted 'gra-nut'

[quote author=tpia@ link=topic=716615.msg8750474#msg8750474 date=1311130912]i'm not sure the overseas plantain is the proper type.

i've tried boiling plantains on a number of occasions and they tend to come out soggy.

maybe i was doing something wrong or the plantains were too ripe perhaps.

try unripe plantain.

not sure for how long, etc.[/quote][quote author=Missy ★ B link=topic=716615.msg8751439#msg8751439 date=1311148334]Two possibilities :
1) Too much water
2) Too ripe[/quote]You're right. Plantains that are too ripe (black) do not work well when boiled, they 'fall apart' as tpia said. However, some people like to eat their plantains that way. If you like super ripe boiled plantains, then the boil time is what matters - five mins self should be enough.

  Tpia, the yellow (mid-ripe) plantains work best with boiling. About 10-15mins in boiling water should be sufficient. I always boil it with the skin on, this helps keep it 'intact'. Take off the skin after boiling (and watch your fingers! lol). Tip: slice a line along the side before boiling, this will make taking off the skin after boiling very easy.

^@my last two posts, I didn't know I was a plantain expert like this oh! Lol.

datnigga:
hello peeps, am tryna make boli but i keep gettin it wrong! anytime i attempt to make it, it always come out wrong I use ripe plantain so i dnt know if this is the problem. Should i use unripe plantain instead and even if i use unripe plantain, how unripe should it be? very unripe or averagely unripe? lool

Finally, because am using an oven to grill it, what temperature do u reckon is best and approximately how long would it take to be ready. Pls use response are welcomed as i am craving for some boli and epa toh bad!!!!!!!!!!!

Lol. Poor you.

I think it may be the type/ripeness of plantain that you're using. All plantains are not equal - I have found that out very clearly, so know where you buy your plantain from and make sure its good quality. I have seen plantain that is black on the outside but once you touch it hard as a shell, and a green one that was soft to the touch - those are not normal lol. Some retailers do not store their plantains properly during transport/in the store and in my opinion contributes to some strange plantains I've seen. Especially cold climates where it can freeze & unfreeze in cycles. See this: Unripe, mid-ripe and almost ripe. The second picture is very ripe.
[img]http://karmafreecooking.files./2008/07/platanos.jpg[/img]
https://abigailblake.com/sugarapple/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/ripe-plantain-2.jpg

For your bole, you want to use good quality plantain that is mid-ripe: not fully ripe (black) or unripe (green), it should be a bit firm to the touch but not hard, skin should be yellow with maybe a little black. If its too soft/ripe it will fall apart on your grill/oven, too hard and will not cook properly (unpleasant to bite through). For oven grilling, I usually set my oven to ~350-400 degrees, for about 20-30mins (maybe even less depending on your type of oven). Alternatively, you can slice your plantain down the middle into 2 long halves, you'll be able to tell better when its done.

I wish you goodluck and perfect boli(e) 

chinboy:
Is now six(6) weeks since av been holding back this message but since the people involved are not coming up to pay me my money, i av decided to let out the message and know what you all think about it.

it all started when i posted for s.a visa without deposit. some nairaland members responded and among them all is dis guy who brought a client to me and assuring me of the financial ability of the client to pay when the visa is ready, nearly six weeks after the visa is ready, they av not come to collect it from me. i av to beg him to come and pick it up at the embassy. now the visa is with me and he refuse to come and pick it up. the last time he came to meet me in the office he promised july 15.(today).but from that day till today he as refuse to pick my call.and neither did he call me. when i call him whit a different no, he will pick and tell me he will call back.but will never call back.

Oga, you're a business man now . . . how can you accept a client solely on the basis of the 'assurances' of another client you have never done business with?

1. who is the real thief on nairaland travel section ?, the agents or the clients who visa is ready and refuse to pay the agent is money. OR even come to pay me with fake naira in my office ?

2.What should i do to recover my money.because i dont want to go the violent way ?


3. while will someone request for what he knows he cant afford ?

1 - Both agents and clients can be duped alike. Both sides must do their homework on the trustworthiness of the client/agent and sign proper binding contracts before heading into business.

2 - I guess your only option is to continue to hound the client. Perhaps your relentless calling will wear him out and he'll pay. Or you may have to lick your wounds and move on - wiser.

3 - Maybe he had the money & lost it. Maybe he was hoping to have the money but hasn't been able to come up with it, or maybe he simply changed his mind/plans etc.

That would be a very nice duo . . . I hope it happens. Women's tennis is suffering right now from top notch quality legendary players. Hingis should be able to hold her own and pull her weight against any of the supposed top 10 women in the world.

Siena:
I've had one experience of attempted theft.

I got to my car, which was parked in Ridley market, Dalston, back in 1992. Only to find a lowlife scumbag trying to hot-wire my ride. He'd ripped the steering cowling off, and was trying to bypass my home-brewed immobiliser. I narrowly escaped doing jail time, after a brief, ferocious scuffle, which ended up with him having a badly broken right leg. It had to be amputated, just below the right knee. I only realised how bad I'd hurt him, when we were both in court, three months later. At the time, I thought it was just a flesh wound.

I felt bad for a short while, especially as he was 18-years-old at the time, but then thought, to hell with him. He was the criminal, and I was the one under scrutiny. I was lucky, I had good friends watching my back, and the supposed witness that claims he'd watched me break his leg, later changed his statement, which meant I got off.

Never had any more car theft, or attempted theft till date.

Dayum Siena! You are one bad ahrse dude sir lol.  I salute you top down left right. You should've broken the fingers he was using to hotwire your car too . . . taking you to court? shameless nonsense. That should teach that sucker a lesson to go and get a job rather than stealing other people's hard work. Gosh I cannot stand theives. Kudos to you big time Siena.

 

PBundles:
Let me guess this was in the UK or something. Cus only overseas can a thief switch up the charge and claim he was battered LOL. Something like that happened to a colleague in Amsterdam where stealing bikes is like normal business. When he saw his bike getting jacked, he dealt serious brushings out. I was like officer I saw it all, it was ll in self defense as the their had an object which I couldn't really see clearly. Must of thrown it away officer sir. You should have seen the guy staring at us when we gave the story. Black eye and all looking in astonishment like WTF. They believed us, we were in suits. We laughed for years about the story.

Abi oh, imagine. That's one thing I really hate about this side of the globe. One case like this is southern US, mexican drug dealers were suing a property owner for shooting them for trespassing/trying to steal at night on his own property. Sometimes western ways ehn, they defy common sense.

---

Never been carjacked. And going by the experiences narrated here, I hope that stays the same.

Will do .

I clicked on your link yesterday and ended up spending half of the day just reading thru the blog so many fantastic ideas and mouthwatering recipes I have to try. Is it your blog?

[quote author=ekt_bear link=topic=713452.msg8716706#msg8716706 date=1310656262]Credit rating agencies moved closer to an unprecedented downgrade of the U.S. government's debt amid deteriorating talks in Washington, with President Barack Obama abruptly walking out of a key meeting Wednesday with Republicans seeking a deal to raise the federal borrowing limit.[/quote]Lol. I can totally picture this . . . those stubborn republicans refusing to yeild to the chosen one 

I think both sides have valid concerns . . . you cannot continue to raise the ceiling without having a concrete plan that will drastically eat into the debt. At the same time, if you don't raise the ceiling, you suffer credit-slashing consequences, defaulting on loans and possible ripple effects that can have dire repercussions in global markets.

Well. Goodluck to Obama & the republicans. I sure wouldn't like to be in any of their shoes.

^ and what exactly are you on about?

Do all men on NL post on soccer topics? Unfortunately there isn't a ton of interest in female soccer on NL and that is perfectly fine especially when the Nigerian team is already out. Go to other sites and see both men and women really into it. Infact and for your information, I have watched almost every single game of the Women's world cup and supported in other ways. I was even exploring the possibility of attending the next WWC to be held in Canada not too far from me - all this is by far better and useful to female soccer than opening a forced topic on NL that will get only 50 views and 5 comments. There'll probably be a thread for the finals match, but there is no point in opening threads that ppl aren't interested in.

With that I say shame on you for saying shame on NL's wonderful women

Gosh. And people will still ask why Africa is backwards and not progressing? blaming it on the 'white man' or colonisation or the UN or something/one else. Let us all take a collective look in the mirror fellow nigerians - this video is we. If we can allow this to happen over and over again - we are to blame.

  If the citizens of a country can
¹lynch another in broad daylight
²other citizens are too afraid or cowardly to step in
³the police will shrug their shoulders and look the other way
⁴none of those involved will ever be held accountable
⁵the leadership will not declare a massive outcry and institute policies to fight it
⁶viewers like me will lament and condemn it now but forget about it by tomorrow until the next victim

 then such a nation is destined for doom.

[quote author=tpia@ link=topic=711928.msg8712023#msg8712023 date=1310586742]^^too afraid and bad bike skills

but it looks really cool, i agree.[/quote]Lol well, if you had training wheels on the bike people wouldn't be too suspicious with a baby in the back

[quote author=tpia@ link=topic=711928.msg8712044#msg8712044 date=1310586871]btw some criminals do pretend to be pushing strollers in order to commit crimes, but i'm not referring to those ones.

just saying so someone doesnt let their guard down unnecessarily.[/quote]Yup. Very true. Beware of people 'walking their babies' at night or in shady neighborhoods

^why not? as long as you're not riding downtown with heavy traffic lol. Seems like a cool way to stay fit and take the baby out for some fresh air.

[quote author=Jenifa_ link=topic=711928.msg8711919#msg8711919 date=1310585828]In Nigeria, most women back their baby. not use stroller
i'm sure Tpia has never seen a man backing his baby. I sure haven't. lol that would be a sight to see[/quote]And the sight I have seen! they call it 'baby slings' here and I've come across a few men (all white of course lol) carrying their babies like this, mostly to the front, once I saw it to the back -

https://img2.timeinc.net/people/i/2009/cbb/blog/091228/cam-gigandet-300.jpg

We we're still tying wrapper in Naija lol, this design is already commercialized and sold. No more falling babies 

tpia, where they happily pushing the stroller?

ronkebp:
^^^^^ Everly, my dear, everly , i gat to hold my corner tight naa, how i for do,? person go just shrink ontop work.

I feel you jare. E no easy. Abeg take care of that little soldier well well. So when he grows up he will be the big soldier of his house - a soldier not afraid to hold toilet brush and work a dish sponge like no man's business

obowunmi:
Why don't Nigerian churches condemn corruption and social ills in Nigeria but feel comfortable welcoming corrupt officils to its midst (e.g: Ex- Governor Ibori, Cecila Ibru) ?

Thoughts ?

The answer is very simple: Money & Power. The percentage of the high profile congregants is directly proportional to the amount of tithes and offerings & first-fruits etc collected. Its simply good business strategy, you can't bite the hand that feeds you or turn off the tap that waters you abi?

^ Everyone, try to think about the last time you saw an african man or black man happily pushing a baby carriage . . . 

ronkebp:
MY dear, we have his pocket, our pocket and my pocket, this one is from his pocket, because our pocket is for another purpose.

Lol "Hit 'em up style" lol A girl gats to do what a girl gats to do abi?

ronkebp:
I really don't allow it, but am not the type of person that would tell you what to do, i like people taking initiatives, and when i see that the initiatives is not been taken, omo, i now have a house cleaner that comes and clean my house and do the laundry every 2 weeks and the money is coming from his pocket not mine, so i concentrate on my little soldier and the cooking.

. . . but ehn uhm isn't his pocket also your pocket? unless 'assets' are separate? 

armyofone:
Very good. that's how to deal with nig man that act ogbologo. spend that money jo 
that's what i will do too, use his money to pay for the mexican cleaners

Lol. Why do the cleaners have to be mexican now?

^Very interesting responses. I guess it all depends on your type of personality. Some ladies are outgoing social butterflys that need constant contact and interaction with their 'girlfriends' in order to maintain their own 'sanity'. Other ladies are more introverted and perfectly happy with no 'close' girlfriends and/or just the occasional hangout/outing with old/new friends.

Everyone just has to figure out what works for their marriage that both husband & wife are happy and comfortable with. Having friends is good, just have to be careful not to talk too much about your marriage and share things with them you shouldn't.

[quote author=kunle_j link=topic=711610.msg8701060#msg8701060 date=1310471919]you have to find a way to talk to him. dont use a third party.
your first mistake was to have asked him to pay back your money. i'm sure this is a marriage and that was meant to be your sacrifice for his jobless days.

what you have to do is apologise to him for doing that and involve him in constructive investment talks. it might be, buy a land, change your home, improve your enviroment, save for a business (dont ask him to improve your business, he may think you want to start ripping him) etc, this will reduce his financial wastage strength also dont advice him to buy a car if he does not have one otherwise he will use it to convey those girls around town and add to your sorrow.

my cent[/quote]Apologize? Even if she was wrong for asking him for money, did you miss the part where he has forsaken his wife family and is having an affair?

temiade:
how will it leave her worse? he doesnt love her cos apparently he only married her cos she was d breadwinner.
2, he is cheating
3, she doesnt need his income to survive cos he doesnt share with her and d kids anyway and he is infact, taking from hers
4. she is going emotionally insane (which is very sad and depressing for anyone).
please if u cannot take it anymore, u might be happier divorcing him. Marriage is not by force. Please dont stay
at all costs b4 it takes a wrong turn. It is not easy living with a guy that makes u miserable everyday.

Well summarized.

@poster,
many men do not know what they have until it is gone. No one deserves to be treated like this and to willingly submit themselves and stay in such a situation. Do not stay in a loveless marriage that is sucking the life out of you - and especially for the sake of your children because they are much better off with a single mom than this sorry excuse of father. First of all stop giving him money, stop giving him se.x, stop giving him anything that he is not worth and slowly devise an exit plan so that you and your children will not suffer. You are no longer bound to marriage vows when your spouse breaks theirs. I wish you the best jare.

Moi-moi in a loaf pan . . . so simple, yet so genius! I am going to try this soon . . . Thanks for the recipe poster!

Princek12:
why would Nigerian women not be the among the top 10 stressed women in the world? Instead of taking life easy, they believe they have to make shakara, have an attitude to people they don't know, and so on. Nigerian women stress themselves for no apparent reason.

Go to any gathering of Nigerian women, and you will see that they do not loosen up compared to other African women. They still live in an age where they stupidly think that a woman has to have an attitude not for any apparent reason but because that is what women do. Having that mentality alone can stress women out. And when they are now old and have no man, the stress doubles, making them go to night vigils in these churches and giving their hard earned money to pastors so that the pastors can "pray" for them to find a husband.

Nigerian women just need to take life easy. Life is hard, but it is not that hard. Chillax, ladies.

ROTFLOL    honestly, you're right in that Naija women always seem to have attitude or are 'angry'. This is so true. But with the way some Naija men act, can you blame them?  

ronkebp:
Women                                                                                          Men

1. Go to work                                                                         Go to work
2. take care of the home after work                                      sit in the living room, watching the tv
3. cook dinner                                                                        sit and eat.
4. take care of the kids                                                          sit on the computer
5. do the laundry                                                                   sit and read newspaper
6. be the last to go to bed and the first to wake-up              Be the first to go to bed, and the last to wake up
7. wake up take care of kids and prepare breakfast              wake up take a shower, eat breakfast.
8.Go to work                                                                           Go to work.

^LOL this is just too funny 

. . . and unfortunately it is also true for a lot of women today. Pursuing a career/working while trying to raise a family. Its both the man and the woman's fault. The man's fault because the home-building role traditionally belongs to the woman, so a lot of men do not think it is also their responsibility to help out at home. And it is the woman's fault because she's taking on too much, and should've opened her eyes and checked the kind of man she was marrying - not those traditional relics from the 11th century who's egos are too inflated to enable them pick up a sponge and scrub. If both parties are working - it is only common sense both should also be sharing the home responsibilities.

And oh, if men are supposed to be the stronger sex, shouldn't they also be bearing the bigger portion of the burden?

Febup, pls continue on this already existing thread:

Bank Discriminates Against RCCG/Nigerians In New York?
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-712071.0.html

Negro whut up dude?

KnowAll:
A two term 5 or 6 years is what we need in Nigeria. That 4 years is just too short for an under developed country like ours. One term does not make sense. Politics is meant to generate a lot of controversy & interest during election years we just need to grow up and learn how to play it.

I think you have it reversed.

While it is true that 4 years is a relatively short time to effect real & lasting change, 4 years is more than enough to put the shovel to the ground and implement the change - and then step aside for the next democratically elected leader to continue or he/she can stay on if the people re-elect him/her. Complacency is what we see everywhere in Africa. Leaders have been staying put for decades, what did they accomplish that we can point to as a case study that a tenure extension is the solution?

When infact if you look around the world, the most successful model for progress is a revolving door of good leadership armed with fresh ideas to lead the country forward. Not stale overfed career politicians who want to selfishly hold on to power as if it were their personal property & birthright. It will be better knowing they have a guaranteed 4yrs - they hit the ground running and try to accomplish as much as possible.

Let him lead for 4 yrs. It is more than enough time for him to show the stuff he is made of and if the people are impressed, they will keep him for another 4. I sincerely hope every weapon of spiritual and physical progress will prosper and shoot this bill down dead & buried beyond revival.

luluosas:
Thanks for the modifications. As for the link, I will post here once more. It should open.

Visit: http:///news-page/hsbc-bank-closes-accounts-redeem-xtian-church-new-york-empowered-newswire

^Ah! I know why it wasn't working. You did it correctly, but SR are on Seun's bad side their name is being axed by the bot.

A couple sites are reporting it: http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&source=hp&q=news-page%2Fhsbc-bank-closes-accounts-redeem-xtian-church-new-york-empowered-newswire&btnG=Google+Search&aq=f&aqi=&aql=f&oq=

Lulusolas, I modfied your title a bit to make it clearer . And also pls check your link. It doesn't work.

@topic,

luluosas:
At this point, the HSBC official-whose name was also disclosed- then explained that the reason "we need to close our accounts is that HSBC does not conduct business with organization/persons affiliated with Nigeria/Nigerians."

. . . hmmm. We need more information on this story.

LoveKing:
what i mean? ok. from what you posted, for example what happens when we know the difference between scientific knowledge and religious experience like miracles? you may have to question how the miracle happened using scientific analysis.that form of questioning is the reasoning, you have to do away with faith at the meantime.

^thanks for the explanation.

Okay remeber this topic? "Woman Delivers 8 Babies In One Year"  https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-678184.0.html

1 - She came forward with a claim of a miracle - having 'faith' that miracles can/do happen does not mean we swallow her story hook line and sinker. Infact, if a miracle has indeed occured, science (reason) can prove this miracle by simply conducting a DNA test. And if it proves to be true, we praise God. If not we arrest the woman and figure out whose babies she kidnapped. Here we have not abandoned faith in favor of reason - but merely relegated it to a latter, background role in this particular case.

2 - If I have a dream and receive instructions on something I should do - I go ahead and do it because I have faith and believe it has come from the highest authority - I will relegate reason to a lesser role. And as I carry out these instructions, the result is incredible and confirms I indeed heard from God, then it not only reinforces my faith, but also I will reason that in the future should I have a similar experience - I should have the confidence to trust in this faith that has proven true in the past.

So we circle the bandwagon back to what I mentioned earlier "Both (faith & reason) should be applied with varying degrees of weight & importance based on the situation" - and the key to applying both effectively is wisdom.

bzredder:
Well We are just 2 positions away from UK and USA so it cant be that bad. LOL

Lol.

rokiatu:
1- India (87%)

Really??

Yeah seriously, 87% is crazy . . . but I'm not suprised. The Indians I know are generally strung up, not really known for kicking back and relaxing.

I also found it funny/interesting most of the women in the developing countries spent their money on clothes and beauty and their children, while those in developed nations spent it on vacations and savings.

Joagbaje:
^^^^

Ehen now lol I'm glad you're laughing with me

LoveKing:
@Jesoul

reason tends to ask why having faith when that thing you had faith in can be disproved or amended by applying reason. thats why he said reason makes faith unimportant. think about it. the more you explore and study, the more you get to see complexites and conspiracies. the one who hasnt seen it yet hasnt started reasoning.

Can you please explain what you mean here? In what context?

This from the article I posted up there: "I think we should borrow from the model of science and allow our religious beliefs to evolve with time as well. But
¹ we should be cognizant of the difference between scientific knowledge and understanding through faith and religious experience.

I view ²faith as another form of knowledge that is based more on insight and wisdom. It is using intuition as a way of understanding versus pure reason.

³ But it should not be in conflict with reason, science, and experience.

  ^Note those 3 salient points I highlighted. I think once all the above are taken into equal & proper consideration - most, if not all of the supposed 'conflict' between 'faith' and 'reason' quickly melts away.