₦airaland Forum

nenyewrites:
So because of this nonsense, you pray never to have someone that will turn out better than Ngozi Okonji Iweala or Chimamanda Adichie? Someone that will take care of you at old age? The way some guys reason at times!

Kondomatic:



Women are more violent than men but women think men are more violent because women don't count violence against house helps as a domestic violence


As for Adiche, let her continue telling her half truths.



In Nigeria for instance, the girl child is treated better than the boy child. Of course we still have people who would rather have male children than female children but that's not my my point.


Adiche should leave OYIBO people and visit northern states in Nigeria and show me female almajiri.


Most out of school children are males.


All child laborer are male.

All underaged apprentice are male.


I could go on.


Even in the East, most guys are sent out at a very early age to learn trade or handwork while the girls continue with school.

Once the boy is settled, the family responsibility automatically falls of them, that includes the girl's education.


You might think I am derailing but I want to draw your attention to the root of domestic violence among married people.


Boys were programmed from birth by women to dislike women.

If you're fortunate and you and your sister are in school, you will see that your sister receives twice and sometimes trice the amount they give to you for upkeep. Simply because she's a woman. Adiche doesn't see this.


Those who are on the street, those unfortunate almajiri, the unlucky child laborer receive the worst treatment from women.


Now as an apprentice, your worst enemy is your Oga's wife. They show you hell.
Treat you worse than animal and in some cases, ensure that you're given nothing after serving them for a minimum of 8 years.

You will go home and start life from scratch.


Have you not noticed that the popular Igbo apprenticeship is no longer what it used to be? What happened? Simple, once the lucky one is settled, he will swear that none of his blood will pass the threw system again.


This inhumane treatment where given to us by women, our master's wife.

Now after you survive and marry a woman, it becomes difficult to see her as an equal, because you've seen and experienced what they can do. Because you've developed some defense mechanism.

So whenever she tries any rubbish, you will say never again and the fight starts.

DEMZEE:
Ladies love conditionally

If he gives her commitment, attention and resources then she will submit to him naturally

That's how women become loyal to their men

Conditions are: she's a virgin and the man is planning to wife her

TheRedpillguy:
In all honesty sex will not keep the man and less be honest here. All that stuff he is doing for her, those manly things. He is doing it to get in her paints. I do like Virgins, I wouldn't want anything that will compromise that. If he wants the girl that much then he should put a ring on it and do right by her..

This is not pump and dump material.

Martinez39s:
The wife also wanted the court to compel her husband to get a vasectomy so he could keep paying child support to only her and her kids. She wanted to destroy he chances of further procreation for selfish reasons. Fortunately, the judge didn't oblige. Wahala for who think the soulmate at home is a nawalt.

^{luminouz, pansophist (I will still respond to your post later), oyolohi, ubunja, glycolysiss, nyarimuflathead.}

GLYCOLYSISS:
√The path to becoming a better man may be a lonely one.

You may lose friends .
You may make enemies .

You may sometimes get lost.
It may sometimes be cruel.

But a man will endure these trials,because nothing great was ever easy.

GLYCOLYSISS:
√How often do women:

Save men?

Die for men?

Protect men?

Provide for men ?

Yes , they don’t.

So why the f*ck are you
putting her on a pedestal?

She needs you way more than you want her.

She should be putting YOU on a pedestal.

GLYCOLYSISS:
√Don't be a nice guy.

Be assertive. Be kind. Be bold. Be authentic. But don't be nice.

clarocuzioo:
The guy shouldn't have beaten her. I condemn domestic violence in it's entirety.


There's no justification whatsoever for this kind of beating.

But please i urge everybody to try and hear from the guy also before making comments. It will help us all.

Ifenyinwa just gave her own side of the story, how about the guy's side.

Six years ago when the wedding came up, we were so sure a day as this will come.

This girl shouldn't for any reason bring this to social.media. there's a family to report and families will handle this.

If we start saying things about her on social media, days will not be enough for her Chronicles.

Where do we even start? Do we start from her toxic mother getting pregnant for another man and pining it down on her father, later she will openly tell the whole Irette community that her husband is.impotent and that Ifenyinwa's father is different from her husband?

Do we start from her toxic mother terrorising the peaceful Irette community that earned her the popular name " TRANSFORMER," meaning when ever a transformer blows, everywhere will be calm. That name came about when her mother fought a mobile policeman and injured him seriously in the ear.

Do we start from her father grabbing the properties of her late elder sister till date claiming it's his ?

Do we talk about her mother travelling to Ijebu Ode for some stupid juju, only to have a terrible accident at St. Helen's Catholic Church Irette few minutes to her home?

Do we even talk about her mother confessing to terrible things she did , before her death?

Do we start talking about her early days in Bishop Lasbrey Girls Secondary School? Where when her father gives her school fees, she will put it in am envelope , and tell her classmates that her father from Abuja just sent her money, meanwhile her father is a driver in Owerri.

Do we talk about her promiscuity at early stage. In life? Let her kindly explain the circumstances that brought about " DADDY TAKE IT EASY IT IS PAINING ME". Her sexual escapades abound as a student in Bishop Lasbrey, her school mates can attest to this.

Do.we even talk about the illicit affair she was having with a certain prominent man from Irette who was also spraying her money during their wedding that people who knew what's up were laughing at the husband?

Do we talk about her wayward way of dressing even after her wedding?

There's a reason why Igbos around did not marry her, because when they ask questions and make enquires, they know she's just a girlfriend and not a wife.

It's unfortunate this guy used a girlfriend for a wife.

For anybody that cares to know more about this girl, please visit Onwu's compound in Irette, Owerri , Imo state and ask about her, you will understand better the kind of toxic personality she is.

NB : I am not holding brief for the husband. I am just seeing his picture for the first time now.

pansophist:
An unspoken reason why Western women destroy their Men during divorce is because they know painfully well that he can always get a younger girl, but she can't. Like the old saying, success is the best revenge, and his success is her karma. But his tragedy after been properly slaughtered will be used to reassure herself that she made the right choice by leaving a sinking ship, and hope he never recovers. Its a double edged sword.

#RandomThoughts

LEBEfirstson:
.. You are lucky then.

LEBEfirstson:
..its not about been fetish bro. I'm not sure you are married and when the time comes for you, you will surely find out what I'm passing thru

LEBEfirstson:
..Chai, easy nau! So na only the traditional way you read abi? Holy person

tartar9:
Later you'll be the ones talking about restructuring

tartar9:
Kano State has the right to determine its laws...the only appeal court there should be the Shariah court of appeal.
Anyways,have any capital punishment given by a Sharia court ever been executed

Canvass:
Classical case of Seven Year Itch in the making. They pressurise you into marriage, lose interest in sex one-half to two years into the marriage, telling you the marriage they are in is not up to their premarital expectations. Cause a lot psychological/ emotional pain. By fourth year, they fall in love with some other guy by omission or commission. Then begin to toy with idea of leaving their marriage. Meanwhile, if they suspect the man is about to move on at this time, they overcompensate by having sporadic but intense sex with the husband. Eventually, by the 7th year, they make up their mind to stay or leave.
Mister, it's a fairly popular phenomenon. Wait it out or move on. Those are the options open to you. Prayer and fasting is the third option but then you still have to wait for your miracle to happen bringing us back to the first option. Best of luck.

Dpsychologist:

A paradox is a statement that may seem contradictory but can be true (or at least make sense). This makes them stand out and play an important role in literature and everyday life.

Some of the most important truths in life are contradictory on the surface. They seem like impossibilities, yet experience proves them to be obvious over and over again. It is when you look a bit deeper, beneath the surface contradictions, that the wisdom becomes glaring.
.
Below are 20 paradoxes I’ve come across which are, paradoxically, still true:

1. The more you learn, the more you realize how little you know. Every time you gain a greater understanding, it creates even more questions than it answers.

2. The more you try to impress people, the less impressed they’ll be. Nobody likes a desperado.

2. People who can’t trust, can’t be trusted. People who are chronically insecure in their relationships are more likely to sabotage them. For one way people protect themselves from getting hurt is by hurting others first.

3. The more afraid you are of death, the less you’ll be able to enjoy life. How well you live your life is about courage.

4. The more you fail, the more likely you are to succeed. Edison tried over 10,000 prototypes before getting the lightbulb right. Michael Jordan got cut from his high school team but now one of the greatest basketballer of all time. Success comes from improvement and improvement comes from failure. There’s no shortcut around it ( i have recently written a book on this)

5. The more you’re afraid to fail, the more likely you are to fail. What you are afraid of can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

6. The more something scares you, the more you should probably do it. With the exception of genuinely life-threatening or physically harmful activities, our fight-or-flight response kicks in when we’re confronted with past traumas or actualizing the self we dream of being. For instance: speaking to an attractive person, going for a job interview, public speaking, starting a business, saying something controversial, being painfully honest with somebody, etc., etc. These are all things that make you scared, and they make you scared because they are things that should be done.

7. The more you hate a trait in someone else, the more likely you are avoiding it in yourself. Carl Jung believed that characteristics in others that bother us are reflections of the parts of ourselves that we deny. For example,the man who’s insecure about his money will criticize others for theirs.

8. The less you care about others, the less you care about yourself. I know this may go against every perception you’ve ever had , but people treat people the way they treat themselves. It may not be apparent on the outside, but people who are cruel to the people around them are cruel to themselves.

9.The more available something is, the less you will want it. Humans have a strong scarcity bias. We unconsciously assume things that are scarce are valuable and things that are abundant are not. This is not the case.

10. The more choices you have, the less satisfied you are with each one. This is the “paradox of choice.” Research shows that when we’re presented with more options, we become less satisfied with any particular one we go with. The theory is that when we have so many options, we have greater opportunity costs to selecting each particular one; therefore, we’re less happy with our decision.

11. The harder you push for something, the harder it will feel to achieve. When we expect something to be difficult, we often unconsciously make it more difficult. For instance, many years ago, I assumed starting a conversation with a stranger was something that was highly abnormal and therefore “difficult.” Little did I realize all I had to do was say “Hi” and then ask a simple question; that would get me 90% of the way there. But because it felt hard, I proceeded to make it hard for myself.

12. Less is more. How can less be more? The concept is that something less complicated is often more appreciated.

13. The best way to meet someone else is to not need to be with someone else. The fact remains that the best way to find a relationship — committed or otherwise — is by not needing a relationship to be happy and investing more in yourself.

14. The more honest you are about your faults, the more people will think you’re perfect. The amazing thing about vulnerability is the more comfortable you are about not being that great, the more people will think you are.

15. The more you try to keep someone close, the further away you’ll push them. If your girlfriend feels obligated to spend her weekends with you, then the time you spend together has become meaningless. Let being with you be a choice not obligations.

16. The more you try to argue with someone, the less likely you are to convince them of your perspective. The reason for this is that most arguments are emotional in nature. They come from someone’s values or self-perceptions being violated. Logic is only used to validate those pre-existing beliefs and values. It’s rarely about the objective or logical truth as much as it is repairing people’s worldviews. For any real debate to truly exist, both parties must be making an honest concession to put their egos aside and only deal with the data. This is rare, as anyone who’s spent any time on an internet forum could tell you.

17. The more convinced someone is that they’re right, the less they probably know. There’s a direct correlation between how open a person is to differing perspectives and how much that person actually knows about any given subject. Or as the philosopher Bertrand Russell once said: “The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.”

18. The more connected we get, the more isolated we feel. Despite being in more constant communication than ever via social media, research finds an increase in loneliness and depression in the world over the past few decades.

19. The only certainty is that nothing is ever certain. This realization almost made my head explode when I entered my tween.

20. The only constant is change. Nothing is permanent it must always change. You are not thesame person you were 10years ago.

Cc
Lalasticlala Farano Myndd44 seun dominique

emmyN:
I had to read the OP's other threads to understand where he is coming from and what could have led to this.

Suffice to say that the OP is an authoritarian. His wife probably didn't inform him because if she had, he may have refused just for the fun of it .

I have no advise to waste.

DeLaRue:
Saying that your wife did not seek your permission before travelling says a lot about the power dynamic in your relationship.

She clearly did not believe you would agree to her attending that burial, and so she, perhaps for the first time, decided to sneak out. Not that I agree that she was right to travel without your knowledge. Very wrong.

That said, you need to reflect on your role in all of this. Why, as a man do you need your wife to seek your permission in anything. It all sounds authoritarian and not befitting of a healthy equal relationship. What you deserved was advance knowledge of the trip.

Today's younger women want to be treated with respect. Husbands need to be more atuned to this fact.

tempex88:
Your wife must be from a nice family. Dem get burial and dem no give you billing

Nairalandmonika:
While u may be right I don't totally agree with u. Will you tell a son to love his abusive father, a father that almost got him blind and almost got his sister killed due to numerous beating all in the name of discipline.

A father that beats up his wife n children and u expect the children to live the father more.

See sometimes u need to think deep, there are reasons people do the things they do.

GLYCOLYSISS:
--When women win, everyone loses, women included. They are masochists with a penchant for self-destruction and will destroy themselves as well as any who would help them – if you let them.