₦airaland Forum

ubunja:
Say it louder bossman. Men need to respect their sacrifices. Why would a man who has hustled for years settle for second-hand damaged goods?? When so many fresh young women are looking for men who have their shet together.

Most men just hate themselves.

If men loved themselves they would seek only the best for themselves. Self love is something men need to learn.

This is true....love yourself, respect yourself and don't marry a liability


Flirting around is far from marriage in practical sense..........

Come to think of it......do men who marries teenage girls really love themselves ?

I actually can't see the logic in it in the long run

There is an exception to this school of thought


There are girls that school/career make them marry late........imagine you marrying a practicing doctor, lawyer, pharmacist, engineer at 25 ?

Righteousness89:
Fake News Has Become a Normal, even among the so-called Big Media houses...

I Don't know Pastor Omale in Person, but my Spirit refused to Accept the News when it Popped out!

I am not Suprised that it ends like this..

But your spirit Believed that holy ghost/spirit led the pastor to a specific hospital in the same Dubai to pray for a sick Northern Muslim ?

The way

JayCynic:
I didn't say that, can you actually read my post where I said I believed in Meritocracy.

You're speaking to much grammar.........what your experience with a renowned feminist........not all these theory/fantasy that is contrary to what is playing out in the real world

JayCynic:
Feminism is a postulation that has seen adverse criticism and alienation in the Nigerian clime. While there has been a lot of misconceptions and misinterpretations of the ideology by some Nigerian women, I am of the opinion that the belief is a valid one if we use a logical path to approach it.

The General law of feminism is that Man = Woman in society, and nobody should be discriminated or disrespected on the grounds of their gender. If we go by this definition, everyone with a good sense of reasoning should be pro-feminism. The female gender has experienced a long history of discrimination and abuse which has caused women to be overlooked, belittled and disregarded in society. We are in the 21st Century and I vehemently support the cause that women and men should be accorded equal rights in society.

However, we have seen a new wave of Feminism in the past decade which could also be viewed as "Feminazism." This new theory literally alludes that women are better than men, this theory believes that a woman who cooks for her husband is a docile slave, this new theory pronounces all men who desire their wives to be submissive as "Sexists," this new theory calls J.Cole a misogynist when he humbly advices Noname on how to speak to black folks, this new theory states that all men are rapists, this new theory is anti-matrimony, this new theory accuses men of objectifying women while praising Cardi Bs and Nicki Minajs, this new theory accuses you of "mansplaining" when you argue with a woman. This is an ideology in gross disorder.

While I believe marriage shouldn't be a bondage, I believe the head of a family should be chosen by the religion or institution which establishes it, I believe that cooking and house chores are flippant issues and can be done by any partner who chooses to, I believe that Daddy can bath or change Junior's diapers if he wishes, I believe that there should be no rule as to who does the household duties but there should be a common ground on who does it.

I believe that women who desire to own big businesses should put in the same hardwork put in by men who own big businesses and stop the self-victimization, I believe that women are as smart as men and intelligence does not lie in gender, I believe my wife can be my boss while at work and still respect me as a wife when we're back home, I believe that my wife has the right to earn more than I do, I believe in decent dressing for all genders, I believe that we shouldn't see women as sex-slaves, I believe that the man is the head of the FAMILY, and everybody is equal in SOCIETY, I believe that marital status isn't a proper benchmark for judging a woman's success in life, I believe that every woman has a voice, every woman has a choice, every woman has a say. No woman is a slave.

I am a Feminist not a Feminazi.

Do you mean equality is a women in traffic expecting men to allow her pass just because she is a women but won't allow men pass because its cheating to do so ?

Feminism is equal to double standard

Kyom20:
What I was saying is dat who is responsible for a woman's pregnancy? Isnt it a man? Definitely, the woman is capable of making her decisions whether she keeps it or not and that may or may not be based on the man.

Life is not fair but we can create a sense of equity. By ensuring that everyone bears consequences for their actions whether male or female. A woman should not solely face the consequence of her action when she got into it with a man.

The world is changing whether you like it or not. Its left to you to also move or stay in the past. Women are standing up more than ever before and slowly changing the narrative.

What I'm saying is that situations affect one more than the other.......is such a case the person/gender with the lower advantage should be thread carefully.

Then you shouldn't shield such person/gender from proper training as the case of the original thread.

Change is constant
We Change the world in a better way
Its not every change that is positive
Not this biased and disjointed change

lopsided Equality change is not even helping in those developed world you want to emulate; even they know.....but man will always be a man....we live it whichever crap they turn the world into.....through female happiness brings peace to the world agitation.....and by extension.......its to female detriment in the long run.

Kyom20:
I totally agree with you. Nigeria is the home of hypocrites. We have had multiple threads were men were the ones doing crazy things e.g. the guy who was sleeping with his cousin and the brother was thinking of telling on him. Men kept screaming mind your business n dat was dat.

Bt suddenly because this is about a woman itsl not "personal". Who are we deceiving? When a man says he sleeps with multiple women who do think these women are? Ghosts? They are your daughters, sisters, mothers etc. The fact that you dont know doesnt mean its nt happening.

When a girl has an abortion is it for herself? Isnt it a man who impregnated her? N she shud also keep and suffer because its what she deserves. Wat a backward society. In most foreign countries abortion is not a crime, because women deserve to have the opportunity to learn from mistakes and move on. Not having to give birth to a child whom she cant take care of.

If men were being forced to take responsibility for impregnating women or forced to pay child support. I would see reason for no abortion but for this part of the world were men think the can do as they wish, I PITY ANY WOMAN who doesnt take her future in her hands and do whats best for herself.

Sometime I really don't understand how people separate cause and effect from situations......its better not to talk than affirmative give an opinion that will further complicate a situation...

The number of guy touts are a reflection of how bad a society is
The number of girl touts is a reflection of how terrible a society is.........so also teenage pregnant

Portraying men and women as the same and equal at all level of life and situation is what make this thread this long.......In a sexual relationship, its the women that get pregnant, do abortion/give birth etc. So women need sexual training and caution than men.........in reality men don't get pity from human generally unlike women.....that why most touts, criminals et al are men and people don't get emotional about it but a girl tout always raise question and sympathy.

When a girl abort, its entirely not true that she did it for the boyfriend/sexual partner.....that Statement portrays women as if they have no choice, no mind of their own, can't think and not capable to live without man influencing their choice/actions.
Those foreign countries you mentioned are are more confused and backward than you portray them
A countries that have bias for genders, country that values furniture than than human that make them.......a country that legalized abortion yet men's life are ruin for women choice to keep a baby she can't carter for
You people don't want women to be train and caution for their own good and benefits but you want to blame everyone else when their choice didn't work out in their favor.

The summary of this you opinion I guess is because men seem to do as the wish so women also should do as they wishes..........things don't work like that in reality.....life us not fair

And in every situation, someone usually have an upper hand........that should be the basis for consideration when discussion like this ensue.

OritaIbadan:
Thank you sir, yes I knew it was wrong to check her messages but having sighted some of the I was tempted to dig further. Point noted

Don't mind those blaming you for checking her chat...which I know majority of them are female, thats their way of life. You didn't steal her Facebook account password, and you didn't request of her to login an official phone.

Its good to always double check these female.......after all, her fake package had earned her good gestures from you.

I my own opinion just her go, you can't really trust her. If she pin her pregnancy on you or allege you of rape, people will believe her as you can read some comment questioning your motive and intention toward her.


A word is enough............

Jullima:
Yawn

Are you married? At this point the wife no longer cares, initially she’s worried but it gets to a point in the marriage, it becomes ineffective.

There will always be food in the house because she has kids to feed, if you like dish, your choice.

No time to take on an additional child to the one you’re already raising. Who get that kain time?

Lol. You know nothing..........let wait till you are married then we would listen to how this play out for you.

Women!

Mutaultope:
I just disciplined my son by canning him for what I have warned him severally to stop doing...... the only thing my wife could do was to get angry with me for disciplining him that way ..... that was the end of our night and she went to bed

You can see. I for one is careless about the opinion of others when I'm doing the right thing....irrespective of anyone's perspective about it......training a child is one big serious issue......the most important is synergy should exist between husband and wife in cautioning a child so that the child can be responsible but you see some women thinks with their emotion.......


And I don't know how women of this generation get to this point......while I was growing up, it was my mother that beat me the most......up till the moment my father has never lay his hands on me and never condemn my mother's actions.

My mother almost kill me with beatings and I'm very grateful for that.

crackland:
All of that happened ONLY because of your bad decisions and the wrong kind of company you kept, it wasn't due to the style of discipline you were given by your dad.

If you had been involved in more profitable things like hanging out with the brightest students who spent their time studying and sitting at the front of the lecture hall, or perhaps you joined a religious Christian group and made friends from there, you would not have had anyone to drink, smoke, party, or do drugs with.

Your mom who wasn't strict, why didn't her relaxed disciplinary style have any effect on you?

Learn to have some personal responsibility for your choices.

You spoke my mind.........I can say its the mom that is even responsible for all that.......her actions portrayed her dad as been outright wicked......training a child with divided approaches is more dangerous.

Farki:
Beating a child rather than trying to understand and correct the behaviour. Some parents just beat because they want to take out their frustration on an easy target. I have seen mothers beat newborns for crying, babies can't talk what else is a baby supposed to do?

Male child/first born favoritism, where some people more children than they intended because none are male. It's like they see girls as bastards or half children.

Another one is discouraging kids from having relationships and being completely mute on the topic of healthy relationships. Then as soon as the children leave the house they pester them about marriage. How is someone supposed to get married on time when they would be punished for even being 3 feet away from the opposite sex?

Finally the emphasis on money and status over empathy. This is good because it gives kids a drive to succeed but can lead to the success getting to their head. It causes 'do you know who I am/my father is' mentality and fuels the engine of corruption.

Ah I almost forgot, read your books and become a doctor/lawyer/engineer because that's where the money is, anything else and you are a failure. Even dare to mention going into sports, music, acting, politics and worst of all farming which make more money than ever these days and you will get disowned.

Lies......you just feel what you watch on western TV stations are a better way to live.....but guess what..?.....you're being deceived and I guess you're enjoying the deceit.

Acidosis:
As far as the kids take their father's name, any other person can choose to be a stranger, outsider, intruder, or whatever in the family circle..

Simply on point

Ariza:
By Detriment you mean, "throwing me out of the house" right. Lol that's if I don't throw him out first. You really think every woman can forgive and continue with a cheating man right? You really think every Man cheat too don't you? And also you believe every woman's live revolve around Man. Funny thinking!

Now I never supported cheating back or having a revenge sex, to me it's a waste of time very condensing, But if any woman think that's how best to get back at her partner that's her decision. You can only make her see reasons not to do such not guilt-trip or manipulate her like you are trying to do.

Lol

The matter is not as it seems in reality......women play themselves by revenge cheating in the long run.......its easier thought about than be in that situation.......forget those chest beater with zero experience

I'm writing this with tears in my eyes. Just some advices for my follow girls. Always stay with your man if ure sure he truly loves you. Dont listen to your friends because some of them secretly want what you have. Ignore his shortcomings cus there is no perfect man on earth. I hope my story heals someone's relationship today. And pls ignore all the grammatical blunders in this write up, i'm not a very good writer. I'm a popular nairalander, i just created this account for this purpose. Here is my story......

I started dating Brian(not real name) back then in university of lagos. He was in 300 level while i just gained admission to study economic. He was so handsome, cool and very intelligent. For some reasons which i can say here, i moved in to stay with him. We had one of the best love lives ever. He wasn't so bouyant financially, but we supported each other financially, we shared everything and i even know his account number off heart. He was caring, romantic and treated me very nicely. I mean he doesnt joke with me. But then there was something with him that was a problem. He is very high tempered and a jealous lover. ( now i understand why he was that way).He has hit me like twice or so in d cause of our relationship. To be sincere, i was alway d reason why he hit me cus i really pushed him hard. We later had a sincere pillow talk, he promised never to hit me again and he kept to his promise.
Meanwhile, i have 3 closed friends who always try to tell me how bad it is to stay with a guy, let alone allow him hit u. And that he has no right to dictate to me and choose where i go to or not. That i came to school to have fun and not to please anybody. To be sincere he rarely allow me attend parties or some school activities cus he feels i might be influenced negatively by my friends or people in d party. Reason being that he has been in the school before me and he knows how these things always end. But my friends made it clear to me that he was caging me and i wasnt free. Among these my 3 friends, only 1 was dating like me, the remaining ones were just into difference guys with no feelings( runs). For that reason, my bf wasnt comfortable with them. Meanwhile, the only one that was dating try to prove to me that her bf doesn't cage her or hit her. And that she can go anywhere she likes. She will only tell him where she is going and that's all. I realised years later that she was lying, the bf even did worst to her. Why she was interested in my relationship, i can't tell.

After hearing all this from my friends and coupled with the fact that i somehow feel i was caged., i started being stubborn and outspoken . Though i must confess my bf did some bad things to me at times and that is due to his anger issues. I can vow he never cheated on me. I became stubborn, started hurting his feelings, told him i can go anywhere i want. He has no right to dictate to me. I changed my fbk password that he has access to, meanwhile he didn't change his own as i still have access to his facebook. He was so hurt and i knew it, and he tried his best to make me understand that all he is doing was for my good. I was adamant, i even moved out of the house and started staying with my friends.we rented a 2-bedroom apartment together. Meanwhile he has rent to pay, and i was supposed to support him, but i didn't care, just wanted to enjoy my life like my friends. I truly loved him and he loved me dearly. Looking back now, i feel bad for everything i did. Meanwhile, the landlord pushed him out after his rent expired and he didn't have anywhere to go. I felt bad within me then though, but my friends pushed me on, that he is a guy, he will overcome it. They made it clear that i can start having my own things, do my own things separately and the relationship will still be fine. And if he is not ok, he can leave. At that point, i knew he will keep coming to me cus he has nobody and he has invested all his love and energy on me.

Well, i started attending parties with my friends, from difference clubs to house parties. Along the line, i cheated on him, i felt bad and dirty initially. Because my sex life with Brian was mind-blowing. Till now, i haven't met any guy that can match his sexual prowess.. Maybe we were just overly compatible sexually. And then after all he went through, he just let me be and moved on, though i must confess life was rough for him that period cus he wasn't working.
Meanwhile, i couldn't get a stable relationship while enjoying life with my friends,all i was getting were pretenders, they will just hit and run. I feel dirty and sad, cus deep down i wanted a love life that can leads to marriage and a happy home. To cut d long story short, in my final year, my two friends got involves in serious relationships. Surprising, they didn't want me around them anymore. Once i informed them of any party, they will stylishly wave it aside with some flimsy excuses. To make matter worst, they all moved in to stay with their respective bfs in their houses. The same thing they advised me against. I became so lonely and i cried everyday. I was craving Brian every seconds. I wish i could change things now, i'll go back to my relationship, never to return. I regretted telling my friends about my relationship and allowing them to subtly manipulate me. I almost had an extra year cus of emotional truama.i added weight and no making-sense-guy was ready to look my way with that kind of shape.

Fastforward years later, my friends are now married to their bfs. I mean they made it work by enduring alot of bullshits from their bfs. Meanwhile, i'll be 33 this year, yet i have no serious relationship, no hope of marriage or raising a happy home. I cant help but cried each time i remember these things. Meanwhile, i ran into one of Brian's friends recently and he told me Brian got a scholarship and travelled to canada for his masters. He now lived and worked in Canada, married to a Filipino with two kids. When i saw the pics of his lovely kids, i cried myself out.
The one month lockdown imposed by d fg took it tolls on me. I was extremely broke. I mean i couldn't even eat good food. Non of my friends could help out and they didn't even want me in their houses for reason best known to me. I summoned courage and messaged Brian's friend, he gave me Brian's number. When i heard his voice i was crying, i didnt even know why. He calmed me down and sent 100k to me. Looking back now, i'm full of regrets, wish i never listened to my friends.
my sincere advise to young girls out there, pls if ure dating any guy and u know he truly loves you and want be with you, pls ignore his shortcomings and make it work. U see those women forming feminists up and down, they are sad inside. Deep down, they wish for a happy home and a peaceful family, it is bcus they cant have it or bcus its too late for them, thats why they always drop some silly quotes just to deceive u. I have visited many women groups and relationship experts pages, and all i see in their messages are sadness, loneliness and lack of peace of mind all hidden in their overrated ego. They will tell u go girl, dont let him push u around. Trust me they all wish they have a man like ur man deep down .Just like my wicked friends. And Brian, if you are reading this, just know I'm deeply sorry and I'm fulfilled that i finally get to hear your voice. God bless you and your home, amen.

Brian was in which department and graduated in what year ?

Shelumiel:
[[s][/s] Rubbish as usual

As usually nonsensical

Shelumiel:
Bro, its quite obvious your wife lacks ambition hence her need for gossip. My advice is this : discuss this with your spiritual leader ; let him counsel her and if she does not change, bring the issue before her parents.

Spiritual leader ko, ghost leader ni

Liliantalks:
yes a woman Pusey is her value , I ain’t gonna cm here denying it ,, as a man can u marry a woman without sex?? I can get a didilo to pleasure myself till enternity, can you do soapy forever?

This is immeasurable and unquantifiable senselessness, retardnesz and foolishness


Highest standard of low-life

tsmith:
[quote author=Lostz post=89115690]you should respect the position of the man when airing that opinion

It takes low inferiority complex for a man/human to need another human lower than him for validation. Many of you have no business in dating, just get a goat, you'd have the submission you so crave.

Attached mean is written by your fellow man, but of course one with more sense

Lead your woman. She craves your authority.

Women are loyal followers.

If you refuse to lead her, she will lead herself and then destroy you.

If she refuses to be led. Dump her immediately.
End of quote

R

tsmith:
And you have a problem with someone that has her own mind and not afraid to air her opinion? What do you want, a doormat? I definitely see plenty red flags and they are all emitting from you.

Any persons that feel she or he has the monopoly of the right words to express an opinion is a fool

Being sensible and reasonable does not portray anyone as a doormat except an inferior fellow

There is nothing we will not hear.....which one is truth manipulation again ?



One major fact though.....if you didn't lie to a girl.......you don't respect her feelings.


In conclusion......which one of these categories of guys is best for which categories of girls.......?

SweetCunt97:
You conveniently skipped d part where her father called her kids bastards.

What should the father call them......?
Are they his biology kids......



Have you ever hope on someone that disappointed you so badly and yet couldn't comprehend it and feel remorse ? Intact still go ahead to mislead others that would have towed a different path....

I pray you don't have a reason to feel inadequate as a parent with all the sacrifices you've made

SweetCunt97:
Her first child is 10 years old. The second is probably 4 years old reason why d baby daddies are all married... She's an adult at 28 and has her own life to coordinate. She doesn't have to take any instruction from her parents, she has taken enough and now a woman, an adult. Let her face the wind of life.

Why would a sane mother give her wedding ring to an 8 yr old! She seem not to be able to make basic decisions because she has been emotionally abused and subjugated by her family for years... This is her freedom, her life will definitely change for the better with this independence.


Baba what stopped her family from giving her quality education or a good job?

No one deserves to be treated anyhow by anyone biko.

First of all. Does she sound like an adult ?
Has she been able to coordinate her life for the past ten years ?

Age is not maturity madam!

Freedom is expensive not to be granted to an indiscipline child (especially daughters )

There is nowhere in her post she mentioned abuse except that her father refused to marry off his beloved 18 years old daughter on the altar of an unwanted pregnancy

Can you send a child without WAEC to University........and how do someone without jamb get admitted to college of education/polytechnic/university ?

SweetCunt97:
Baba pls just shut up. If her parents allowed her to marry d man we wouldn't b here talking about it. Like say una girl no dey get belle at 15. Genevieve got pregnant early but had supportive family, omotola too but her sensible family allowed her marry the man.

These are peculiar situation
You're very foolish and I really feel like beating you up....you lack sense

Genevieve got pregnant at what age and to how many men ?
We all know omotola story, she has no kids out of wedlock....and nowhere where she disobeyed her parent nor insulted them

We should all pamper her poor choice and joined her to tag her family evil ?
Or we should validate the churches opinion where she went there to narrate her lopsided story before they unanimously tell her what she is longing to hear ?

You're stupid, senseless and a retar!d
She even lost her mothers wedding ring

I'm only pitying those kids with her.......because someone that can't make good basic decisions for herself can't make for others......

She is looking for work with no qualifications at all, no skills and someone needs to be blame

If she really need job that can cater for her need.....she need to go back an apologize to her parent, and stay put till they forgive her, pray for her, then she can start solving the mess by going back school or learn a trade....and this time she have to be discipline, obedient and sticks to her parent's instructions........


Not the nonsense you wrote up there.

SweetCunt97:
The happiness I meant is being away from negative pressures which come as family for her. I guess you assuming the happiness I meant is a MAN? Puhleese spare us.

You didn't understand her problems and mentioning happiness to her seem to justify bad habits, she is a spoilt brat, and a wayward daughter....got pregnant at 17

I'm not sure she even finished secondary school..very indiscipline child blaming her entire family for her bad choices....how do such person make sense to you ?

SweetCunt97:
In the end, it's your happiness that really matters. As for someone tapping your glory, no one can unless you give them the go ahead to do that.

People will easily blame the rich man to b responsible for d predicament of d poor one.

What do you Mean by her happiness is what matters ?

Pursuing happiness at the expense of her sanity.....two kids, two father
Her brother is in school but she didn't go
Insulted her father
Call her mother witch
Broke and arrogant


Yet her happiness matters.........to keep kepping on on the wrong direction ?

Probably the third man will give her the happiness

bukatyne:
I did (probably forgotten. There are two many stories to keep up with)

Alrt. I can relate.

The truth most be told