₦airaland Forum

TheChameleon:
Excellent comment.


You can only imagine how she refused the order sef. Probably in a nasty manner.

If she wants where she can behave as she wishes, sorry she should have stayed in her dad's house

Don't mind her. She said it herself that she imperiously turned down her request - I don't hold brief for her aunt though. Knowing where and when to lose honourably is wisdom.

Oluwasaeon:
State of this man. He just had to bring his parents into this... smh

Bumpkin. It didn't occur to you that the person he abused could senior his parents. Now direct your further mention(s) to your fellow bumpkins.

Politeness begets respect.

safarigirl:
Nigerians are always quick to support abuse, because most of them come from abusive homes

The entire country is filled with victims of abuse, so, they think abuse is normal, that is why that LordKO person is accusing someone of having bad character simply because she wants to be treated like a human being. A country filled with messed up people, that is why government officials and every other wimp with a sniff of power, is quick to them and dehumanize them, and nothing happens in the country.

The aunty that is abusing her is a fool, how do you abuse the person cooking your meals? If That girl decides to poison their food and run away, all of them will die and nothing will happen. She has already accused her of being the spawn of a witch, after all

I know that you can do better than this, so I'll allow your temporary vituperation to slide. Refer to paragraph three of her submission, if you can dissect and extrapolate it without bias, you'll understand what truly transpired between them - just forget about other things she said.

Once more, I don't hold brief for her aunt.

OceanOfJoy:
I read her post and see a young girl (At least she can't be up to 23) depressed about what she's going through at her aunt's house. Where's the conceited attitude in her post?

Since you believe in assumption and since you want me to believe that you aren't discerning enough to see through the conceited attitude she exhibited, I don't see the need to answer you properly. No vex you hear.

sisisioge:
But she was forced to clean that first time and been cleaning ever since. Besides, I'm 90% sure that we are talking about a very young adult here.

How you and me go take know say she be young adult as she no come tell us her age. And if she be young adult self na that one go vex me pass citing her conceited attitude. Whatever she has passed through afterward that incident is punishment proceeds of her first offense.

I don't still hold brief for the aunt

sisisioge:
Chai! Broda, yes she might have been wrong by refusing to clean up ( I even construe her response as being unable/unskilled in cleaning up), however, aunty has her own children too who obviously need home training. I understand her because I once experienced something similar when my sister and I went to spend only 90 days with my father's sister for Jamb lessons. She practically turned us to her maids while her daughters who were in the same age group as us were left to do nothing! We were all teenagers who would rather be lazy but dear aunty chose to teach only my sister and I "home" training! . It was so sad because that singular experience changed everything for us. Needless to say that our relationship was ruined forever because of those three months!

Biko, let everybody go back to their father's house! The way child A was conceived was same as child B, why treat them differently?

Two wrongs don't make a right. Once more, obedience is better than sacrifice hence more glorifying. Assuming that she cleaned the house as the aunt requested or diplomatically turned her down, I wouldn't have had any reason to doubt her reasonableness. So citing her stated conceited attitude, it's very obvious to me that every other negative thing she said about the aunt may not be true.

I don't hold brief for the aunt, like I said before.

You've a very bad character. Eschew conceit if you wish to progress in life. I don't care whether your aunt intentionally left her house dirty or not prior to your arrival there - I don't hold brief for her though - but the fact that you disobeyed her request to clean the house, out of conceit, says a lot about how bad your character is. Obedience is better than sacrifice hence more glorifying.

Citing your said conceited attitude a lone, I don't have any reason to believe that your aunt is evil as you've painted her - only her husband can make me to believe otherwise in this regard.

He placed absolute confidence in me and was always proud to tell whosoever that cared to listen that I'm his begotten son in whom he's pleased. And, not only that, he equally gave me everything within his reach, both material and immaterial things.

When you experience altruism from a conscientious person nobody anywhere can ever convince you to believe otherwise that genuine love exists and that it (love) is the greatest refreshment in life - provided that you're sane/reasonable.

It isn't palatable to compare personality of the dethroned Sanusi with that of the incumbent Sultan of Sokoto. The Sultan of Sokoto wouldn't have been sacked assuming that Tambuwal hasn't been re-elected governor of Sokoto state because he is outspoken/unassuming and unhypocritical, unlike Sanusi who's opinionated and hypocritical. Also he's intelligent and conscientious unlike Sanusi who's intelligent but unconscientious. They're two different personalities.

I don't hold brief for Ganduje though.

Like I said the other place, he's a victim of his own crass and expedient personality - crassness isn't truthfulness, and expediency isn't cleverness. He's always been an intelligent and an opinionated man, but he's neither been an unassuming/unhypocritical man in particular nor a conscientious man in general.

Sanusi is a victim of his own crass and expedient personality. Crassness isn't truthfulness, and expediency isn't cleverness.

He's always been an intelligent and an opinionated man, but he's neither been an unassuming/unhypocritical man in particular nor a conscientious man in general.

Not all families are like yours; your parents inculcated a very bad psychological value into you the offspring. Unfortunately whatever that affects the psychological profile automatically affects the moral and emotional profiles too but not necessarily in equal and proportional measures.

It's very bad of them to make you (the offspring) believe that you're above every other person out there; by so doing they made you to become conceited - conceit breeds false confidence. Conceit remains God's gift to small-minded people.

And like I said above, whatever that affects the psychological profile automatically affects the moral and emotional profiles too. So it's the conceited attitude in you the offspring that breeds egoism (self-interest) in you all too, thus the abnormal interpersonal relationship that exists among you (the offspring), where carefree and too clever by half (shenanigans) attitude is the order of the day.

Parents shouldn't make their offspring/wards to believe that they're above others out there instead they should make them know that they can be the best that can be out there if they work towards the good things and, of course, guide them humanely and meekly towards realizing the good things.

Genuine confidence comes from the place of real (intangible and inestimable) values - meekness/politeness and selflessness/humaneness are the major hallmark of a genuine confident person.

From my own perspective, it's very obvious that she made the statement in good faith, even though words failed her.

It's just like saying, I respect you not because I fear you but because you command my respect.

So in summary, a more palatable way to put her statement should've been; I'm with you because I love you selflessly, not because of what I can gain from you.

bukatyne:
Today is International Women's Day themed Each for Equal and the air waves is filled with all sort of messages.

Even corporate organizations have keyed into it and there are all sorts of events to mark the day.

While all these are commendable and interesting (there is a pose for this year),

1. I really wish we get to a stage where we do not need multiple days to 'celebrate' or 'highlight' women: International Women's Day, Mother's Day (about two or three dates) and International Day of the Girl Child.

2. I wish women would not need to 'remind' themselves or be 'reminded' that they are strong. Tags like 'strong woman', 'independent woman', 'strong black woman', 'boss lady' means being a woman or lady is not enough. Anthony Joshua does not need validation/reminder that he is strong. His works have spoken for him.

3. I wish women would realize that they hold the keys to their achievement hence need to always make right choices of career, spouse, lifestyle, conduct etc. That they should always be ready to face the consequences (good/bad) of all their actions and decisions. That refusal to bear the consequences of our actions make us seem like perpetual victims or children.

4. I wish women would understand that this 'fight' cannot be won without the right circle and/or partners. That they cannot do it alone hence need to be very intentional about who they let into their lives.

5. I wish women would understand that quota system hurts us in the long run. If we have to bend the rules to include women, it only means they cannot compete on a level ground and don't deserve the position. That men would not respect them because they think they did not do the back breaking work to get to the top. No man can rubbish an Omotola or Ngozi Okonjo or Late Dora or Genevieve or Ibukun Awosika because they paid their dues.

6. I wish women would understand that men and other women would only respect them as much as they respect themselves. That self-respect and self-esteem manifested by dressing, speech, way of wife, decision making would automatically be mirrored in the way they are treated. Nobidy would place a premium on someone not deserving.

7. I wish women would understand they must something to deliver inside of them before expecting the support of others. Nobody would support a vision that does exist, they don't understand or the visioner cannot communicate.



Happy International Women's Day.

Maximum respect to a fair-minded woman.

Both of you are doing yourselves. Both of you are of the manipulative ethical leanings, therefore, what exists between two of you isn't genuine love - even though you may love/lust/have feelings for each other - the kind of love that can sustain and maintain a healthy relationship. A relationship where both of you will have mutual inner peace and happiness individually and collectively. Genuine love for a healthy romantic relationship or marriage is one that emanates from mutual altruism in particular and conscientiousness in general.

She doesn't have what it takes to make you fall or stay in love with her and unfortunately she lacks willpower to extricate herself from you - stockholm syndrome is powerful. While you on the other hand don't have the grace to distance yourself from her/stop giving her attention to avoid raising her hope falsely and to enable her pitch her tent elsewhere - you should have done this since assuming that you're of the diplomatic ethical leanings, so you don't have genuine intention towards her as it stands so far.

Both of you are of the manipulative ethical leanings and should share the blame.

chriskosherbal:
Nice one LordKO..I can relate with this very well.

What most people don't know is that it's only someone who's emotional, who can make a rational/logical decision - and being emotional is different from having an abnormal emotional quotient. Humans are emotional beings

Yes. However, there's a very thin line between being emotional and being subjugable - and being emotional is different from having an abnormal emotional quotient. Every human being falls under one of the following psychological profiles:

- Every man/woman who has a healthy psychological profile (a strong-minded person) is always emotional (thoughtful and considerate).

- Every man/woman who has a low psychological profile (a feeble-minded person) is always subjugable (servile and foolish).

- Every man/woman who has an unbalanced/insane psychological profile (a head-strong person) is always unemotional (thoughtless and inconsiderate).

Through someone's psychological profile, which any gifted person can easily dissect within few moments, regardless of any kind of glossing, the gifted person can automatically know the other person's moral, intelligence and emotional quotients and by extension can accurately/almost perfectly forecast what they can do/cannot do at any given time in any situation, either in the present or in the future, subject to circumstances.

Meekness isn't weakness, just as selflessness isn't foolishness. You simply lack willpower and meekness - and your giving has never been from the place of selflessness. The two major things that can make someone to lack willpower are feeble-mindedness and pride/conceit - unfortunately, you're both feeble-minded and conceited, citing information available.

The solution to your problem lies in your hands - empty your cup.

@OP

You've an erroneous understanding of what love is, thus the reason why you've mistaken stockholm syndrome for love - you're just a slave to your own weakness, you don't have willpower. Strive to extricate yourself from the emotional entanglement you've put yourself and after that make sure you conquer yourself emotionally and psychologically before going into another relationship with any other man to avoid a repeat of what you've passed through in his hands so far- that which drains you emotionally, psychologically or financially can never be love, at least not genuine love.

The fault isn't entirely yours though, your weakness notwithstanding; you're involved with a guy who has neither conquered himself nor has genuine interest towards you. Genuine love renews energy, it never drains it.

Altruism without conscientiousness always zaps energy (own energy) - reciprocity of altruism in particular and conscientiousness in general is the secret of any healthy relationship. Take to goodness/remain good, but stop rewarding disloyalty with goodness or enabling/indulging/condoling nonsense.

@OP

As much as marriage may not be natural, it remains a healthy social construct - it's a good thing that you admitted not having monopoly of knowledge because only an insane person would lay claim to such.

Actually, your parents' unhealthy marriage truly affected you negatively. It's unfortunate that you inherited their genes, and you wittingly or unwittingly didn't transmute even at adulthood; you have a poor mentality in particular and lack love in general.

No, not everyone goes into marriage/romantic relationship for selfish reasons, majority do that I know - there's a thin line between conscientiousness and selfishness, don't mix them up. Also, you have a poor understanding of what attribute is; attribute is inherent, don't mistake it for attitude, it doesn't change - it neither fades nor disappears, provided that you're talking about a mentally healthy human being.

The reason why your parents, and you by extension, never found happiness and peace of mind in their marriage is very obvious. They're two selfish (egoistic) human beings who equally married for selfish/material reasons - so they shouldn't be standard for sane people.

Marriage, just like any healthy close/intimate interpersonal relationship, is for parties who're either innately selfless (altruistic) or parties who regardless of their individual psychological profile have selfless interest towards each other/one another - sound psychological profile and high emotional quotient are added advantage. Selflessness remains the soul of love/oneness/goodness and love is the soul of marriage - of course, selflessness, not to be mistaken for foolishness, doesn't mean absence of conscientiousness.

Ambiguity and bastardization of the word love notwithstanding, it remains the greatest refreshment in life - only those who personify it, give it and have been privileged to receive it from those who equally personify it, will understand.

Money on its own doesn't automatically give both happiness and peace of mind in the long run - of course, lack of it doesn't give them too. Believe you me, the ultimate happiness and peace of mind lie in living life on the periphery of conventionalism, especially when it is done altruistically and conscientiously. If you can transmute your once money consciousness into success consciousness and selfless-enabled philanthropy, your problem will be almost half-solved. So in addition to most of what black.panthar said, this's a phase of life, and your navigation prowess at this point will either make or mar your next phase of life. Be careful.

Also consider the almost inconsequential things, like a change in your eating habits in particular and lifestyle in general. For instance, if you normally eat sumptuous breakfast before, consider to limit your entire breakfast to a piece of whole egg and a cup of coffee eating between 9 and 10 AM at least for the next 6 months. Also limit the quantity of meals you eat at lunch and supper (make sure you don't eat anything after 7 PM), skipping lunch sometimes can help too. And always strive to start your day with a solo walk in an open air for at least 30 minutes. On the other hand, you also need to tie almost all your disposable funds to longtime intangible assets and perfect the process with a solo vacation in any serene environment.

Be wary of opportunists who disguise themselves as friends and associates at this point, yet don't fail to do your best for them, especially from a distance. But don't forget the importance of pledging allegiance to at least one trustworthy and established associate or friend though, either directly or indirectly, because you may need him/her any time soon - yet, don't build your hope around the person.

tsephanyah:
I’m far from a medical professional but More people die from the regular flu, and it doesnt have this effect on the market. It's not like I'm not concerned, but the panic on this one is not necessary, in my opinion. I really do have a feeling if tariffs were dropped on china, the market would rise, and it would be realised the regular flyer has killed more people.

It’s almost as
Efodemic virus (the social media and TV didn’t have anything better to do than stir the pot to pump up viewer ratings.

You are obviously depressed, seek solutions fast, OK.

Ishilove:
My stowee is: he was hot headed and immature, I was stubborn and immature. We broke up in a flurry of rage and when both our eyes cleared it was too late.

We are still friends though. He is the only one who hails me with a high pitched ''biaaaaatch!!'' and I reply with "your left nyaaaaaash!"

Kai, Freezle my love.

He told me: "Ishi, in my next life I will seek you out, and if we can't be lovers then, I will be your child."

Me too baby, me too...

Freezle needs to come back to you now that you have gradually transformed from a headstrong lady to a strong-minded lady . . . and will soon become a complete principled lady.

Every reasonable child owes their parents faithfulness in particular and goodness in general, especially when such parents have been reasonable ones too.

A virtuous/submissive wife deserves all the love/goodness in the world from her husband. HBD to her.

Of course, OP kudos to you too for being grateful and, henceforth, avoid doing anything that will ever make her feel letdown in any way . . . wishing your family unlimited blessings.

GEJ didn't fail him instead he's paying the ultimate price of treachery. The price of treachery in a subterranean system is always lethal, especially for fair weather entities.

The price of treachery in a subterranean system is always lethal, especially for fair weather entities.

Men who lack self-esteem have been making women whose self-esteem is rooted in weak self-sufficiency to be feeling fly like superhumans since time immemorial.

[quote author=ImaIma1 post=86861038][/quote]There's something called violation of oneness (violation of goodness of any form). The highest point of trust is when a couple can take each other's words as absolute truth and when the words are truly bankable, not necessarily when they continually snoop on each other's phone for instance - this doesn't foreclose each half having unrestricted access to each other's phone so to say. There's a thin line between exercising right of oneness and abuse of right of oneness.

Also, there's a difference between diplomacy and dishonesty; in the act of diplomacy lies something like harmless secret - for instance, a harmless secret like not telling your husband that your sister has an allergy to wearing undies for whatever reason, an allergy which she possibly developed from birth and has exclusively been known by both of you alone (no insult intended towards your person). I have numerous examples in this regard that are both formal and informal.

Once more, oneness doesn't negate liberty, just as liberty doesn't negative conscientiousness.

The issue is that both of you literally have an erroneous understanding of what independent-mindedness (strong-mindedness) mean. Independent-mindedness is a psychological profile, not a philosophy; a crucial part of ethical leanings, which itself is the end product/quotient of emotional, moral and psychological/intelligence blending. Psychological profile can be either innate or acquired; each human being is either strong-minded (independent-minded) or head-strong or feeble-minded.

So, it's one thing to be independent-minded while it's entirely a different thing to be conscientious - one can be independent-minded without being conscientious, but one can't be conscientious without be independent-minded - it takes one of sound ethical leanings to be conscientious. To be independent-minded without being conscientious is similar to liberty without decorum, it's a disease - plan doesn't negate spontaneity.

On the issue of privacy, oneness doesn't negate liberty - liberty only becomes a problem when it negates altruism in particular and decorum/conscientiousness in general.

In light of the above, only people who're of sound ethical leanings - one is either of the sound ethical leanings/diplomatic ethical leanings or manipulative ethical leanings (small-minded people belong here) - can effectively pursue oneness. Where oneness is effective, the parties involved always mutually have inner peace and happiness and absolute confidence on each other - oneness is the soul of marriage, while altruism is the soul of oneness itself.

yeyeosoronga:
LordKO,

While it's easier and perhaps even woke to do so, you truly cannot simply explain away the intricacies of interracial relationships as just fetishes.
There are good guys and bad guys out there. You become an easier target to bad guys when you're too trusting, stupid, poor and isolated.
The worst cases of abuse of any form are usually between people of same race. I've seen many terrible cases of white on white abuse.
I personally don't think she's experienced any racism. It wasnt because of her race she got the worst end of the stick, but simply because she was vulnerable.
Having a sexual fetish doesn't mean you have to be a sociopath or psycho. This guy was one. He even hid her passport until she found it and ran. He wasn't just tired of the 'fetish' he had. He would have let her go with her passport since, or even thrown her out , called immigration on her once he got tired. He didnt do any of that, but he enjoyed dehumanising her, once she became an illegal immigrant- a vulnerable person.

I didn't pin his action on sexual fetishism and conventional racism but on fetish of enslaving a Black woman with an end sexual exploitation - some Blacks equally have same fetish, so it's aracial. A realized fantasy at best. Once more, it's a rampant case - her opportunistic attitude made it easier for him to perpetrate. Meanwhile, interracial relationship based on genuine love has never been either scarce or a taboo, so we know one when we see it.