₦airaland Forum

bukatyne:
Hahahahahahaha!

Why before New Year? Is there a catch?

Well the guy already gave her this one for Christmas, so I don't want her to find out what her New Year's gift will be...moreover who even knows what he's planning to wear that day, God have mercy

MetaPhysical:
The bold caught my attention. Which one be Abdurrosheed again??

Is Abdur a new attribute?

Abdursalam
Abdurhakim
Abdurkarim

Yoruba and their nonsense. Stop using Arabic tongue if you cant pronounce or spell it. Just use Yoruba name.

Oba Adwale Akanbi, Telu I.
Sufficient!

In Arabic language, some letters swallow the "L" in the definite article "Al"

"R" is one such letter, so

"Abd-al-rasheed" becomes "Abd-ar-rasheed"

And "Abd-al-salam" also becomes "Abd-as-salam"

But "H" is not one of them.

So "Abd-al-hakim" remains "Abd-al-hakim"

And also "Abd-al-karim" remains "Abd-al-karim"

So there was nothing wrong with how he wrote it; its just to remind people not to pronounce the "L" in his name.

Typhoonsbane:
This story doesn't add up though, was there no lifeguard on deck

The pool was too small to warrant a lifeguard.

yampro:
THE GUY HERE IS NICE ENOUGH TO TELL US WHAT IS BOTHERING HIM. ONE THING I CAN TELL U FOR FREE IS THAT THERE ARE SOME LADY THAT HAVE THIS PROBLEM OF ASKING MONEY ANYBODY THAT IS CLOSE TO THEM. THERE IS THE LADY WE USE TO WORK TOGETHER THAT HAVE THIS SAME ISSUE ANYTHING SHE SEE FELLOW MALE COLLEAGUES " GIVE ME MONEY OR COME AND BUY ME FOOD". EVEN ROBBING HER BODY ON GUYS JUST TO GET HER REQUEST.
I THINK THIS LADY IS HAVING SAME ISSUES
MY ADVICE TO THE OP IS TO BE VERY CAREFUL. LIKE SOME PEOPLE HAD ADVICE LET HIM ASK HER QUESTION WHETHER HER HUSBAND IS NOT GIVING HER FINANCIAL AND IMMEDIATELY TALK TO HIS FRIEND SINCE THEY ARE VERY CLOSE. BUT LET THE TALK WITH THE WOMAN BE ON RECORD OOOOOOOOO

Capslocked Junior.

DavidEsq:
Be like say all the crase ppl for NL gather for this thread o.

A crazy story demands a crazy response..just imagine! Na so pesin go chop beating for Christmas

Some people are just spectacularly mad sha

We dont have all the details but according to what youve said, youd better escape with your children to your parents or siblings. Or his own parents, if you get on well with them.

I mean you should do it before New Year. Without any announcement.

The guy is already in another galaxy; I guess you wouldnt want him to take you with him.

Exactly, something was wrong with that pool.

They were either sucked down by the pump or electrocuted.

The hotel will never admit it and the government wouldnt like anything to affect their tourism bucks. So they will stick to their story.

RIP.

crackhaus:


No fvcking way... You are definitely male

Lol, and you must definitely be female.... in fact all of us are lying

TonyeBarcanista:
Too many talk my Dear sister...

God's "perfect" will is that people be fruitful, multiply and replenish the earth. That is why he instituted marriage! It doesn't matter whether 1, 2 or 500 wives.

However, whether a man chooses to marry or not it doesn't make the man less a believer. In fact, Apostle Paul's personal opinion is for men to stay unmarried.

As for the parable of 10 virgins (brides), I laugh! All Jesus' parables he used objects that his audience could relate with. The 10 virgins parable shows that Christ didn't see polygamy as an aberration. Otherwise, he would have addressed it!

As for the "Church", I think you have to know that the "Church" is not a building or religuous organisation like RCCG, Dunamis, Catholic metal. The Church is congregation of ALL believers. The believers are the BRIDES and Jesus the groom. We are all brides of Christ and we must be prepared for the "marriage supper of the Lamb" because the hour no one knows. The unprepared are the "five foolish virgins" while the prepared are the "five wise virgins".

Do NOTE that Jesus audience were polygamous people so they understood his position.

My whole point is that God permits man to carry on with his traditional system as long as it doesn't negates his commandments.

Lol, you wrote as much as I did but because I dont agree with you, its "too many talk".

You are just trying to twist the scriptures to suit your purpose when in reality there is no need for that. Just do your polygamy in good faith and accept whatever comes out of it. Its not possible that God cares about every aspect of your life but suddenly doesnt care how many wives you have.

You can go and check what the parable of the 10 virgins was talking about. It has nothing to do with polygamy. Where in ancient Jewish culture does a man marry 10 women at once? You need to confirm the Roman and Jewish stance on polygamy at the time Jesus was speaking.

The metaphor of Christ and the church was about Jesus and the church body and not individual Christians, so stop manipulating scripture.

St Paul clearly stated that a man was to have one wife. It doesnt matter if it was addressed to elders. What applied to the elders must have applied to everybody else or does it mean that St Paul also permitted Christians in non-leadership roles to do whatever they felt like

If you want to have a discussion then have it; dont keep twisting and writing off my points without any evidence and dont make things up to console yourself because nobody is an illiterate here.

yeyeosoronga:
I dont absolve the staff of the hospital from being unprofessional, nobody should abuse anyone coming for help.
But the help was sought in the wrong quarters, which is my point.
Private hospitals should not be given that responsibility to 'do what they can do' in an emergency. Many private hospitals have only a single Dr on duty at night time who is likely just someone who has just finished medical school, mandated to look after their stable patients overnight. Even if those stable patients develop complications overnight, they will be in a very tight situation and should be moved to the government hospitals.
Rudeness or politeness in this particular case will help bruise or assuage egos, but that still hasn't helped the patient.
So if the purpose is to talk about unprofessionalism/rudeness that's fine we can go ahead. However, that still wouldn't resolve or bring solution to the daily problems we see faced by patients in a true emergency- such as delay in receiving appropriate care which will invariably lead to a poor outcome.
This leads again to the question- why were they in a private hospital in the first place?

This why I said you keep missing the point. I am not denying all these things at all yet you keep going into more and more detail. Ive already said that if they cant do anything then its not for anybody to blame them.

Politeness or rudeness wouldnt have helped the patient? Are you serious?

So there is nothing in a doctors training about how to handle an emergency professionally or how your conduct will affect the outcome? Dont you think all the insult and screaming and shouting is bad for somebody with a traumatic injury who is in shock already Im sure thats part of ethical practice, dont you think?

Whether they should or should not have been in the hospital is a different matter which you have already expounded in great detail and nobody can disagree with you on anything youve said concerning that issue.

But the point is now that theyre in the hospital, what do you think the best way to deal with them is? Shouting and screaming?

That poor lady will remember that night and the crazy things that happened for the rest of her life and youre here acting as if it doesnt matter. Its wrong.

For you to say that it doesnt help the patient or it wont bring solutions to "true" emergency is narrow-minded and insensitive. Its not only maxillofacial surgeon that matters. Everybody on that team matters and has an effect on the overall patient experience in that facility! This is how to improve indices. By holding staff to good standards and seeing the humanity of your patients before acting.

In developed countries you can get suspended for abusing a patient like that, do you know that

Whats the point emphasising that "help was sought on the wrong quarters" but ignoring what actually happened in those "quarters" and even dismissing it as "bruising ego" How can you talk about "receiving appropriate care" when holistic patient care has everything to do with conduct and manners?

TonyeBarcanista:
Not trying to patronise you but a wife with mentality like yours would not be hurt by a wise husband. Only a foolish man will have a wife that plays her role and would still think of getting a second wife.

My Dad's former boss is a Muslim wealthy man, and one time senior government official. This man, though a Muslim, refused to take second wife. He told his staff and subordinates that his reason is simply that all he desires in a woman js found in his wife. Even after his wife kicked the bucket, he has refused to remarry.

Sometimes when we advice woman to submit themselves to their husbands, many angry and bitter feminists misinterpret our position to enslavement. It is a fact that submissive women are happier wives, while "feministic" married women have terrible relationship, broken marriages and contentious home.

One sure fact is that the submissive wives are most times are the REAL power in the home. Even mothers at home act soft towards obedient child than a child that challenges their authority. God Almighty respond to people that recognises His Supreme Authority more than those that questions him.

No, its not patronising and thank you for the compliment.

To be honest, I was approaching the topic from a logical viewpoint and not one with any other influence.

Its a statement of fact that a man can marry another wife but not vice versa and its another statement of fact that this often happens because the man is not sexually satisfied.

I have also been on the receiving end of some funny comments for advising somebody to submit not because I want them to be enslaved but because in the situation, its just the logical thing to do. I think people sometimes get caught up in lofty ideas without considering the situation of the person they are advising.

You dont always need to fight and quote human rights charter to get what you want. Though there is a place to stand up for yourself, I dont think it should be done anyhow; at least you can assert yourself with wisdom and not just fighting indiscriminately because you dont want the guy to think you are a fool. At least you can be a fool temporarily if you know what youre aiming to achieve with it.

For me o, I cant advise somebody to go on sex strike with their husband for no good reason unless Im trying to scatter the marriage so thats where my own answer was coming from.

TonyeBarcanista:
Not everyone desire to be Bishop or deacon



And same God permitted Moses, Abraham etc to be polygamous!


The Church and. Christ is one family, likewise a man and his many wives. If Christ were to be monogamous then he will only marry 1 believer


The altar of God is in your heart not a physical building. Religious organisation aren't the Holy Spirit!


YES! 100%! Even Jesus talked about a groom getting married to 10 virgins (bride)


Moses had a PERFECT home... Family depends on how a man handles home affairs... Monogamous or Polygamous irrespective


You are entitled to your opinion but it can't change scriptural position.


I know because I am a Bible student, a believer that only follow scriptural injunction

Like I said, cultural practices are cultural practices and our society recognises them just as God recognised them at various points in the Bible; that doesn't mean that they are necessarily supported or encouraged by Christianity, it just means that some entities choose to acknowledge the fact that some people would like to go down that route.

The first and perfect partnership between Adam and Eve that was ordained by God was not polygamous.

You're accusing me of changing scriptural position when you haven't even checked the ones you're calling. The parable of the 10 Virgins was not about some guy coming back to marry 10 women but about the women in a bridal party waiting for the groom. The bride was not even involved in the story!

The relationship is between Christ and the church yet you now want to split it into Christ and his individual followers which has nothing to do with that particular passage. Who is changing what here

There are plenty of examples in the Bible of when polygamy led to at best distraction and at worst strife. The Bible is supposed to be a realistic guide for life which is why those stories are included, so that we can see the imperfections of the people in there and avoid making the same mistakes in our own lives.

You can see that you couldn't answer the question on whether a church would marry two people into a polygamous partnership, that should Tell you that such marriages are not justified in Christianity even though the Bible recognises that they take place.

You are right that how somebody handles their home is the deciding factor, polygamous or not but Christianity is all about following the path that will set you up best for the future, and polygamy doesn't!

No need to keep twisting Bible into what you think will justify your actions, if it's what you want you go ahead and do it and be content with the consequences.

And by the way you should make a distinction between what was ordained by God in the Old Testament, what was tolerated by God in the Old Testament and what was corrected and reordered by Jesus in the new one.

bdchange:
The Christians of today are the most hypocritical set of human being on this earth. We can easily quote the bible when he suits us but won't obey the word of God when we have selfish interest from our exploits. You see a Christian condemning polygamy but he is soft when it comes to fornication and adultery. When I see them dancing in church like Angels and you know some of them to be devil's incarnate. I am even getting tired of that place called Church because the teachings every Sundays is not making any positive impact in people's lives that I can see or verify. People are only getting more wicked. If you know otherwise please let me know.

What you're saying doesn't make any sense; nobody here is advocating for adultery at the expense of polygamy.

A Christian man should not be polygamous. A Christian man should not be adulterous.

If they have understood those facts, whatever they do in their spare time is their own problem.

TonyeBarcanista:
Well, that passage you infer, the subject under discussion is divorce as there was incessant divorce of wives then by just issuing divorce certificate. Jesus now said, except for infidelity, a man should not divorce... And said what God joined together let no man put asunder..

But he NEVER said ONE.MAN ONE WIFE.

Polygamy is subject to ones traditional practice and choice and it started since the days of Adam's grandson.

I do not have a issue with acknowledging the reality of cultural practices but at the same time, you should try to be sincere.

1 Timothy 3:2

Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife

You mentioned Adam; how many wives were brought out of his rib?

Why is Christs relationship with the church described using the analogy of a husband and wife? How many churches are there?

Will any Christian church on the planet agree to marry a second wife for you at the altar of God?

Even though the Bible does give instances of polygamous marriage, does it support it or just explain that they happened?

What was the outcome for those polygamous marriages on the person and their family? Were they positive or negative?

I stand by my comment; a practising Christian has no business with polygamy even though that avenue is open to him.

By the way, how did you know what passage I was referring to if that's not exactly what Jesus meant If a man becomes "one flesh" with his wife, how can he then become another flesh again with another woman?

cococandy:
So who’s making up these facts? What’s tradition? Something written in stone and can’t be undone?

No I’m not talking about kicking against it or threatening divorce like a powerless person who can’t decide what their life should be like. I’m talking about actually divorcing the MF. He can have an ex wife and new wife and another ex wife and a new wife until he finds the one who thinks she’s only worth half a man and will take half of him.But he can’t have both.

If women all respected themselves enough to be that way, tell me who will uphold the tradition that allows it.

That’s why they go to lengths to vilify divorced and single women. Such that women internalize such defenselessness and will stay married under such disgusting conditions telling themselves it’s the tradition. Tradition is how people do things and you’re a person who can decide you won’t do it in any way you don’t like.

As for withholding sex if he’s within his rights to go for another woman because all other methods of remediation have failed , so is his woman. I don’t encourage anyone to withhold sex so I feel like that part of your post has nothing to do with me.

But guess what, the men won’t share their wives willingly. It’s up to you to decide if men have more respect for themselves than you women have for yourselves.

Yes, tradition is subject to change but I was just pointing out that as of this moment in time, a man is free under customary law to marry another wife without being divorced from the first one.

If an individual decides that that arrangement is not suitable for her she is equally free to leave. But that doesn't stop the practice from being perfectly legal.

Internalizing defencelessness is not the point, in fact your entire post is going off the point.

I asked you what your argument is with a man going for another wife, not woman, on the sole grounds of being deprived of sex for no good reason.

That's the the post that you quoted me on and now you're saying that it has nothing to do with you. So why quote me if its nothing to do with you?

Whether you think it should be the case or not is not the point. The point is that it's a possibility at this moment in time.

TonyeBarcanista:
Please, can you quote scriptural passage?

I don't have any except "one man, one wife". Do you have any that support it?

I see polygamy as a traditional institution and not a Christian one.

bukatyne:
I was addressing Christianity and most people I know married under religious laws (Christian/Muslim).

I am not against your post, I only stated provisions in Christianity because polygamy is not allowed.

I doubt Muslim men face denial of sex from their wives though; It is mostly a Christian man's problem.

Yes, that's right. A practising Christian man has no business with polygamy.

We can hope that the person has some kind of Christian conscience, but I was just pointing out that he is not bound by law to indulge it.

So like you named it, the "Christian man's problem" actually has a solution and a wife would be foolish to totally discount it when it's a distinct possibility.

cococandy:
Permitted by whom? By those who say so and think because they said it it’s a fact.

Only for those women who choose to. For the women who do not permit it, the man can go have his multiple wives away from her life. Same as a man who can’t share his woman is free to let her go from his life. No woman will be held prisoner and made to participate in that lifestyle if she doesn’t want to. So the issue of permission is only because women listen, internalize it and accommodate it. If you decide you won’t then you won’t.

You don’t have to take shyt because it’s always been done that way.

Youre talking about "soft targets" rather than objective facts. We may not like it, we may not be comfortable with it, we may not accept it, yet its still permitted by tradition so its possible on first principles.

The one youre talking about is saying no, kicking against it, threatening divorce, calling family meeting and other things that you do to make your displeasure known. All of that may work, somewhere down the line.

But in the first place the point is that if youre not sleeping with the guy and you dont have a good reason (health, tiredness, temporary reaction for a perceived grievance) then if he comes up with another wife (not girlfriend o) as a solution, whats your argument against it?

bukatyne:
@Bold;

In Christianity, men are not allowed or encouraged to marry multiple wives or cheat.

The solution is quite simple.

Husbands and wives should give their bodies to one another without at all times unless they BOTH agree to abstain for a BRIEF period of time and come back together to bed.

Christianity is not the point; marrying multiple wives is permitted under customary law in this country.

We are in a constant balancing act between religion and tradition in marriage and in our lives in general.

What you wrote afterwards is not contrary to my opinion. However we are not talking about an agreed fasting period but a situation where the man is not satisfied.

The fact of the matter is that he is within his rights to go and get somebody else, no matter how much we may not like it.

So if you dont want that to happen, its naive to unilaterally remove sex from the relationship when you are already in a weak position. Since you yourself cannot go and marry another husband yet he can go and get another wife.

This is pathetic...King and Queen engaging in instagram battle... obodo nke a emebiwo

Its just a fact of life that men are permitted to take multiple wives but not vice versa.

If withholding of sex for an extended period without any solution is the sole reason for the man doing this then the wife only has herself to blame.

alexyanalysis:
This is the real piece of advice.

MedicH:
Right.

Thanks

yeyeosoronga:
.

It's one and the same topic, and not too broad. Documentation is the least of their worries right now, as OP got a card for the patient, and I'm sure they must have written something down in the card.
Those wounds up there could not have been managed by any private hospital save for a few like Eko hospital which are huge hospitals usually with surgeons on standby, and of course you have to drop the cash down. Eko hospital actually trains Drs during housemanship (and I'm sure govt approved), so they are more than the ordinary private hospital.
In this particular case, you need a maxillofacial surgeon to do that kind of surgery, and an experienced one at that. That's some rare speciality skills, and cannot be found everywhere. I won't be surprised if some teaching hospitals don't have any or not have more than 1 sef.
The private hospital couldn't have done anything for that woman
Until we start directing our anger at the right quarters, we won't make progress.

Yes, its too broad. You stated that "until we start directing our anger at the right quarters, we wont make progress" yet you dont want anybody to be angry with the hospital who messed up in the first instance. I notice that people here have a habit of excusing the culprits in a situation in a bid to hold the government accountable. What you people need to realise is that those 2 things are not mutually exclusive.

The government is at fault, yes. But that doesnt mean that the private hospital was justified in its conduct. Both parties have their own responsibilities. You are being broad and general when you should also be specific in order to pinpoint the areas of failure in this particular case.

All the bolded is true but what you didnt pick from my comment was that I said that the hospital "should have done what they could". If "what they could" only included politely informing them that regretfully, there was nothing they could have done but "here, let us help you transfer her to where they can help her" or "Let me connect you with a surgeon who I believe could help" then nobody can fault them for that.

If documentation was not the point then why were they acting as if the woman is a hot potato that they dont want to scold them If they cant handle it why not just say so?

Their insolent and barbaric behaviour is not befitting of a group of medical professionals, full stop! They have no right to abuse and insult people who came to them for help when helping them is their job.

Why didn't the ambulance service come when called? Are they non functional?
How did Lagos become so unsafe that citizens are being attacked left, right and centre?
Why did the police turn a blind eye when they saw a badly injured woman, and still asking the man with a motorbike to take her to LUTH? Were they just waiting for her to die, so they can extort the OP?
My point is, stop looking for salvation where there is non. Private hospitals are not the solution for seriously ill people. Even abroad, private hospitals will not get involved and will ask them to call ambulance services, and leave them out of it because they don't have the capacity.
This is not to absolve the private hospital, as they should have told OP straight away they cannot manage her.
Nigeria's health system needs a complete overhaul. I'm not sure where that can even start from as it's so decayed that going back to the basics will take a 100 years. Shame really

All youve written here is true and you are right to ask these things. My own was just that the hospital had no right to behave the way they did just because the other parts of the system are not working.

If we're going to hold all these elements accountable then the hospital should also be included.

TonyeBarcanista:
A man is permitted to marry as much as he desires. A woman that desire such privilege should first ensure she pays the dowry of the man she is "marrying".

A woman that withholds sex is already failing her conjugal duty except when it has to do with health and stress...

Though I consent that sometimes it could be employed as temporal measure to force the man address her grievances, but beyond that it is pure act of irresponsibility.

A woman that claims to value her home and still proceed to deny her man sex may learn the hard way!

If you don't agree with this, STAY UNMARRIED!

Yeah, you are right.

Sheriman:
You are a Thief, Ole Ole (Lazy idiot) Ashawo Olosho...

Lol and you are even more of an idiot than I am!

You better find one Alhaji daughter who will accept you ooo so you will not suffer unnecessarily

yeyeosoronga:
Private hospitals should not run emergency services. She should never have been taken to the private hospital in the first place and an ambulance should have taken her to LUTH.
Ambulance services and A/E services should work hand in hand. No private hospital should have any business with this.
Private hospitals can help alleviate the pressure on the health system by dealing with non emergency cases, elective surgeries, child birth and minor minor cases but not emergencies like this.
There should be a law against private hospitals taking cases like this, but becasue the government knows its incompetent and they're only after their pockets they will allow private hospitals to continue to take the bulk of their ineptitude.
Let the government open A/E services in strategic places in different towns, let them strengthen ambulance services. That's not too much to ask as citizens.

This stuff youre saying is relevant but a bit too broad for this topic.

The fact is that the private hospital should have done what they could since there was no ambulance. If they wanted to protect themselves from litigation in case she died in their care they should have filed correct paperwork showing that they intended to send her on to a more appropriate facility

All the noise they made there was very uncalled for.

fkj950ax:
The hospital had a responsibility to get her to LUTH, not the people that brought her.

This is why Moradeun died in Gbagada recently

Thank you. So they dont know how to refer a patient again?

I just despair for this country

pestrolus2002:
The best doctor is the one that knows his limit. I really don't think any private hospital should kept this kind of injury .. They are meant for specialist, which are readily available in a teaching hospital.

But they didnt need to abuse him like that did they? Cant somebody give a piece of advice without being rude?

DaRuud:
An issue similar to this once happened to a brother , the woman borrowed huge sum of money from the husband's friend later she claimed she can't pay back , if the friend disturb her too much he will tell the husband he's been making sexual advances to her .
Case closed , money enter voice mail

You see? People are just crazy

FrLukas:
"You know nothing, Jon Snow".

It is a statement of fact and probably one sanctioned in the Qur'an. You'd be lucky if he was only enjoying human gbola and not giving it to your livestock that you tied down in the backyard.

You didn't hear this from me o. Don't want to be framed for hate speech. I even heard that a former deputy class captain, who contested for the post of class captain in 2019 was collecting gbola steady...

Wow...I heard it with respect to some middle eastern countries but not around here...hmmm... Crazy world we are living in...

MhizJoyce:
Lol..I thought women love caring men na

Exactly! Let her face her husband and squeeze the "caring" out of him instead of implicating an innocent soul

Tarabye:
Regina that is young enough to be your child, you're are having thought of balling together
Evening newspaper is real

Lol if I ball with my daughter is it a crime? No be wetin oyibo dey call "bonding"

Abeg shift joor make I collect my coat and canvas snap better photo wey I go deposit for instagram