₦airaland Forum

Animegirl:
Because they're lazy, don't want more responsibilities.

You're not that important to begin with.

Opexzy:
Hello Nairalanders..

I am a bit confused right now. I have two remote jobs currently, they both pay me 200k and 150k salary respectively. These two companies have been existing for over 3 years so they have built up structure that one could trust a little over time...

I recently applied for another full-time job, it's a startup that is just moving from ideation phase to implementation. And they are offering me 650k salary a month even though I told them my salary expectation is 500k a month. I will be working 2 days onsite, 3 days remotely.

I am enticed by this new salary and at the same time, my current jobs have built structure that I can trust.

Not to even mention that I occupy a very important position in these two companies: though not a big deal.

Please i am just confused... Just finanlized everything with the company’s management team.. I am meant to resume next two weeks.

Call out what it is you are afraid of:

That you risk leaving two jobs that are established for you or go for the 650k one?

The new job will give you an extra 250k to your income. if you can maintain your current expenditure that's an extra 250k of savings per month.
if that extra money goes a long way to your savings or other financial goals (and you are young) you could go for it. regardless of how the new job fares, just working there gives you extra money to save. And worst case scenario if you last a year at the new job and you no wan do again, the extra savings/time to pick your next job will certainly help.

Assuming the pay is regular. That's where your homework/decision lies. All can seem good in paper but I have learnt all too well that the real details are after you say yes.

So whatever you do, make sure the worst case scenario is survivable by you alone. Besides that, avoid lifestyle inflation

Dr. Jordan B. Peterson
Aba & Preach

Warrior14:
I will be getting married in 3 weeks time but I'm not happy
I'm getting married to a man who has beaten me two different times. I'm getting married to a man who is heartless and doesn't know how to love and treat a woman right. I'm getting married to a man who does not have a mind of his own.

I'm getting married but I'm already thinking of divorce.

I'm overwhelmed! I'm physically strong but I'm weak.
Just don't want to wake up from my sleep so I won't have to continue with this marriage plans as I can't stand the shame of calling off the marriage at this time.

You're wasting our time writing this, when you could have used that time to RUN!

TMSMedia:
https://www.instagram.com/p/CVZ3teRtpdF/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

Wonderful. The person who the phone was last seen with is already presumed innocent/victim (hypnosis? That excuse was ACTUALLY TAKEN AT FACE VALUE!?). And now there's a chase for a "Lover" on the run?

Wawu.

Remember guys, accountability for men is black/white. accountability for women is ALWAYS A SPECTRUM

sirjamesjnr:
There is no sure thing as a sexual quota. And there is no such thing as a ‘hoe’. Men that slut-shaming women are not mature to be in a grown-up relationship. No lady is not accountable to any man for her past. It's none of a man's business.

That lady A has one guy she sleep with when she was 15 till she clocks 30 and married, lady B has a body count of 100 before her 30th birthday. The truth is the two ladies have sex and they don't owe you any explanation.

If you are going to marry for 'purity" look for a virgin girl. Do not condemn a man who wants a team player, homemaker, companion, and someone who can resonate with him. A virgin girl can tick all the boxes agreed. If you found that virgin girl with these qualities good luck. There is a lady out there for every man. Time is hard, while the world is moving forward, the Average Nigerian man is talking about body count. Shouldn't you be worried about a lady who can build a great home with you so your generation won't abuse you? Whether you are wealthy or you are coming up, I will like to think you need a proper woman to build your home with you.

My time in this uncertain world, both in the corporate world and among great minds. What we care about are ladies with decent character, basic moral values, ethics, cleanliness, abilities to accept responsibility, and willingness to learn something good. Never for once within this circle of friends and learned mind do we care about what a woman does with her body. What you do when you are in a relationship with me is what matters.

To that man who is in a decent relationship:
I know how you feel. When you develop strong feelings for a girl, it’s hard to think of her being with other guys. Even though you can rationalize that her past relationships happened before you met, it doesn’t make it any easier to accept that there were others who had been intimate with her. But you can’t dwell on this. It will destroy you, and it will destroy your relationship with your girlfriend.

Unless your girlfriend is the kind of girl that is very flirtatious, and who loves all the attention that she can get from guys, you probably don’t have anything to worry about. If she were a “hoe” she wouldn't want to have a decent relationship. So how do you get over this? There are only two things that I know of that you can do:

1. Don’t torture yourself with the details. There is no reason for you to know with whom she did it, how many times they did it, what positions they did it in, how big the guys were, and if they were better in bed than you or not. As tempting as it is to ask her these things—don’t! And stop her from volunteering that kind of information. Knowing these things will not help you or your relationship with your girlfriend in any way. They will only become mental and emotional burdens to you—obstacles and barriers that you will constantly have to overcome in order to treat her the way that she deserves to be treated. You protect yourself and you protect your relationship when you avoid rubbing your nose in her past.

2. Change the way that you look at people. Start realizing that every one of us is screwed up in some way. There are no perfect people. Every single one of us does dumb things and makes mistakes in our quest to find love and belonging. Your girlfriend is no exception. Choose to see her through the eyes of love and compassion, rather than through the eyes of judgment and condemnation.

To our ladies. I have one thing to say to you. You don’t need to apologize for your past relationships, and you don't need to explain yourself to any man. Simply understand that all you need is to be loved by someone, and if it didn’t work out, move on and build your life. Hopefully, your next relationship will work out for you.

Me personally? I’ve never longed to be with a virgin except for an ex and my girl(I am not with her because of sexual purity). I prefer my sexual partners to already know their way around their own sexuality. That means they’ve gotten some practice. Now I understand that as a man you need some certain confidence that some of you may are probably still forming. But when someone says something derogatory about the woman I’ve chosen to love I don’t reconsider my love. I conclude the person saying it is an idiot and ignore them in the future. I have faith in myself which leads me to have faith in the people I choose as partners.

Ladies out there, know the class of men you allow into your life. Be responsible for your actions.

Choices have consequences even outside of one's self. You as an INDIVIDUAL (MALE/FEMALE) get to decide what GOES INTO YOUR BODY TOO

Her body, her choice. Your body, your choice.

It's not that hard.

duyox2004:
I hate it. I’m 41, never married, no kids.

I’ve been close…twice. But ended both relationships when they were caught cheating.

I’ve dated several men since then, most older than me, and they seemed to be in no hurry to even be in a committed relationship. Which is crazy to me that these men are mid-40s and still trying to hangout with the guys and party. I met a whole guy group of friends in Houston 2 years ago…all single, all 36–45 years old. They were throwing house parties during the quarantine…parties!! ��

When I was in grade school, I was told to get a degree, don’t get pregnant, just enjoy being single, make friends, keep dating, and the right man will find you.

Now that I have two degrees, traveled the world, developed hobbies, and avoided pregnancy…my doctors are telling me to just be a single mom because I’m running out of eggs as I type this message. �

I beat teenage pregnancy to be considering single motherhood at 41. �

Damn you, parents, counselors, pastors, and everyone who gave me that advice. I can’t get that time (or my eggs) back. I hate being single at this age!! ��

So you just copied this from Quora as your own? Wawu. Almost everyone bought it, so kudos to you.

Original Source: https://qr.ae/pGxnsp

I've said it many times. Women will do ANYTHING to get out of a mentally uncomfortable position. Their capacity to endure and not endure intense psychological anguish is something else.

For anyone asking what about guys, please stop that nonsense. Society measures men differently as objects of success first and human beings as second. Moving on.

This is why society will always hold men responsible for anything concerning a woman.

Accountability for women will always be a spectrum

JovialJune:



And this one thinks his comment makes sense, e con add pride and boastfulness join am, lmao I laugh in swahili,

You guys will never ever learn, you think using money and flamboyant things will get you the best of women? You will only attract the money hungry ones that will only be there when the going is good, when it stops flowing she will up and leave, you think life will be rosy all the time or there won't be time of difficulties? Go and ask a man's story on FP not long ago who gives his gf 20k weekly that left him at the slightest setback.

You should have paid proper attention to his second paragraph. Smart people already know money is not everything.

But it is a good starting point. A king must have his house in order before seeking a queen. As far as society is concerned Men are objects of success first and human beings second.

Financial stability is a good base but it is what you put on top of it - personal development, emotional intelligence (GAME) and confidence that will seal the deal.

Immature people will look at what he said and be saying all he's talking about is money. Emotional Intelligence will help you weed out the gold diggers and red flags

complexBoss12:


Just buy a gun and shoot down any idiot breaking into your house at night

You sabi! So that when she shoots at one out of 25 armed people they can ventilate her and everyone else with bullets and then claim she had a gun to begin with.

I admire your impeccable wisdom

lalasticlala:
https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1440647875436843015.html

Truly sad and heartbreaking. To think that people will kill for a phone that when sold won't even get them going for a week.

But they are ready to kill.

Betboss:
Thank God for nairaland.com, I know I will always find a reasonable answer. Thanks bro for this. I just wanted to be sure this deductions are not as a result of not filling the form properly.

I just hope they don't bring this rubbish to my Adsense and Amazon earnings.

The rule of thumb in such matters is to ask yourself "Is there a transfer of money from a US citizen for goods and services, tangible/intangible?"

If the answer is anywhere between "yes" or "probably", its just a matter of time.

One thing that just came to mind is that depending on how big your earnings are, you could float a US company that gets taxed and then pay yourself the net of that. But that depends on which is higher: the witholding tax (as is) or the company+state tax depending on where the company's physical location is.

_{None of this is legal/financial advice}

Betboss:
Hello fellow youtubers!

For the past three months now Google has been deducting US tax from my YouTube earnings. That's after I filled the tax form. I don't know if I didn’t feel the form properly. They deduct as much as 24% of my earnings and it's really sickening.

They don't deduct any Tax from my Adsense earnings, but they do on YouTube earnings.

I just want to be sure that I'm not alone on this. Has Google been deducting US tax from your YouTube earnings?

Sorry man. You're not alone at all. But there's nothing you can do about. Its withholding tax.. For other who are interested, I'll explain why

Obama in 2013 signed a tax bill that taxed the proceeds to TAX foreign merchants for sales made by US Customers.

That's the key takeaway. The only way to remove it is if there is a tax treaty between your country (I'm assuming Nigeria) and the US

Nigeria doesn't have a tax treaty with US, so withholding tax applies. Compared to Canada that does have a tax treaty, so there's 0% Withholding tax.

Sad reality that your country of birth is still fighting against you even when you earn foreign exchange.

In my own case, I used to sell Mobile app templates on Themeforest for $25 a sale. Themeforest took half it it, but US Withholding tax took half from my half, so net earning was $6.25

Sorry man. Just double your efforts. You're not alone. Some countries don't even allow US citizens to open banks accounts with them because of it.

Mercychen:
What effrontery?
What insolence?
What audacity?
What the hell of a guts the shameless husband has to be telling the wife to her face that he'll marry his side chick??

Chai! Some women dey endure shit!

He's not even sorry for cheating on her, he still has the audacity to bring in another woman. If the wife does something stupid now, they'll say she went too far..

I give up on men. Seriously... This is just too much.

And its only going to get worse.

Because there's No incentive for anything doing the right thing or being a good person. Everybody wants a good partner, but being good leads to one being exploited. So people adapt by being otherwise.

You haven't seen anything yet. give it 5 years and this will be tame.

That there is a thin but clear difference between someone loving you for who you are versus someone loving you for how you make them feel.

As they say in life "Nobody owes you anything".

Toks2008:
After watching a video on YouTube, I'm compelled to ask this question...

Why do many ladies see nothing wrong in this first scenario and see the second as a serious issue.

First scenario

1. Titi meets two friends, Richard and Tom... She desires Tom so much but it was Richard who approached her first and of course she turns him down... Tom gets the vibe that she likes him, he tries his luck and voila she is in... Richard finds out latter and is cool with it.. No issues at all The lady also sees nothing wrong in dating a guy who is a friend to a guy she just turned down.

Another scenario

2. Dare Meets two good friends, Tara and Lizzy... Lizzy desires Dare so much but he goes for Tara and Tara turns him down but the guy gets a good vibe from Lizzy and tries his luck and Lizzy gladly obliges but Tara starts to go crazy threatening her friend for going out with a guy she turned down...

Are both scenarios not the same? Why do many ladies feel the first instance is cool and the second one isn't?

Even if the lady dates the guy and latter dumps him for whatever reason, what is her headache if her friend now falls in love with the same guy...? Is there anything wrong if another person sees what you dumped as a treasure.

Is there a written law that states that a lady can't date a guy her friend rejected or the ex of her friend?

What is your opinion?

Easy: Feminine Psyche and how women process bad/uncomfortable mental States

When you understand this, you will begin to see the irrationality in the scenario you just proposed and it will begin to make sense.

Women have been obsessively objectified and graded by society from a very young age that over time, this objectification becomes internalized as her own way of measuring her self worth. Its the same reason a woman can become offended for being approached by men she is not attracted to OR being rejected by a guy she likes, because while its expected for men to take rejections with their chest and move on, for women, she could start thinking she's unattractive. This might make her do seemingly irrational things like leading a guy on (even one she's not attracted to) to validate how she feels about herself

On the surface? Irrational and Illogical. But the moment you can confirm her actions are a means of getting her out of an uncomfortable mental state it begins to make sense.

Now apply that thinking to Tara, who not only got rejected by the guy, but the guy is now dating her friend. She's now in a place in her mind where a guy not only rejected her (a hit on her fragile perceieved sense of worth) but is now dating her friend (Percieving that on some level her friend is more attractive than her)

When you consider that women are very sensitive to judgement about their self worth/bodies, That can put her in a place of intense insecurity and self deprecation so strong she will impulsively do ANYTHING to get out of it, to the extent of threatening her friend.

Because its not really about the friend or the guy. ITS ABOUT HER MENTAL STATE triggered to BEING SO UNCOMFORTABLE that she will do anything to GET OUT OF IT, be it IRRATIONAL or CALCULATING.

If you're still not convinced about this, notice how the females may respond to this post. They may lash out without giving a proper argument the way I have broken down mine (uncomfortable mental state), or they may not respond at all (denial of acknowledgement via silence). Both actions are a means to taking them out of the uncomfortable mental state they might enter as a result of reading up to this point. They might not even read up to here before responding, but eitherway, that's your proof right there.

Women in uncomfortable mental states tied to their self worth will DO almost ANYTHING to get out of it.

Efe42:
Hey guy's I'll just go straight to point..


I started dating her some months back about 4 and now she's about going for NYSC service is there any chance of continue this relationship but I'd love her so much??

Anyone who has served will know what goes on for the most part.....

Women are humans too with blood in their veins. Sure they can act, but if they were already sexually active before camp, the amount of time spent in a locked enclosure for 3 weeks, combined with the high possibility of sex WITHOUT SEEING THE PERSON AGAIN (HENCE SOCIALLY CONSEQUENCE-FREE SEX) is a chance that's hard to come by and hard to pass up.

The guys in the know would have already planned in advance and simply bid their time. I've seen babes that put up a front taking initiative towards the end of that period.

So, yeah, if she wanted to, there's absolutely nothing you can do about it.

What you can do is decide if you can continue knowing that you will never know. if you can't, break up.

Sounds cruel but those are really your two options.

andronite:
HI guys,

My friend who is a US citizen, single, no kids, no wife, and has been working in the US for close to 10 years. Things have gone well and he was planning to settle down this August. So he came to Nigeria about one and half years ago to do introduction and engage his high school sweetheart. Note, this is also when they officially / seriously started dating . All has been well, and the both of them, their families were preparing for the wedding in August. However, last week he just discovered that his fiancee recently went to visit her ex boyfriend. When he confronted her, she said she went because she was bored, and she refused afterwards to change her phone number (he wanted to stop them communicating), saying she didn't sleep with her ex, and she only went for a hangout in his house.

My friend has cancelled the wedding as we speak, and everybody is begging him to re-consider. Between, the lady's age is within the range of 33 to 36. And my guy is between 37 to 40. He is confused as we speak, because he is taking a hard line on the issue, he doesn't want to start his marriage life on a wrong foundation. At the same time, he is feeling hurt because of her unseriousness.

What should he do?

That guy is a MAN. Don't change his decision!! He stood up for him and chose what's right for him as a high value person.

Don't let people confuse him with nonsense like "Forgive" or maturity. She has shown herself by herself. See it exactly for what it is and move on.

Because if she repeats it again, people will then say "but you saw this happen beforehand. Why did you still go ahead with it?"

Biko, his head is there. He deserves better than someone who was firm in how shitty she was to begin with.

She went to her ex? Red Flag
You didn't stop communicating with said ex when found out? DOUBLE RED FLAG.

He should run.

Utter gutter garbage of a woman

esthel:
Well from this I see a busy career woman who probably isn't home all the time. Still doesn't justify cheating, a man that will cheat will cheat even if the wife is available 24/7

If a cheating man is bound to cheat regardless of anything there's no point even noting that she is a career woman that isn't at home.

That's a very intellectually dishonest/lazy way of saying it is her fault, before covering up your shitty logic with 'a man that will cheat will cheat even if the wife is available 24/7'

Nonsense.

Guy, what's wrong with you? Seriously.

The person is disabled. There's a reason why the word exists.

You were doing great with the title of this post "plus sized in a wheel chair", but then you had to ruin it with this.

Differently-abled? You're able but in a different way? Do you see how this sounds?

EBMedia:
A differently-abled woman identified as Dorathy Osaronu took to her Facebook handle to share her pre-wedding photos as she announced her upcoming wedding, IgbereTV reports.

Dorathy Osaronu who uses wheelchair and her fiance, Gabriel Osaro are both from Royal families in Eleme, Rivers State.

Sharing her pre-wedding photos and invitation card, Dorathy Osaronu wrote;


https://www.facebook.com/100000976943072/posts/5607245295984646/?app=fbl

See photos below.

I strive to code at least 6hrs a day. lower days at about 4hrs.
I have a time tracker to hold myself accountable (TimeDoctor.com)

Some days I go for 10hrs.

The reason why I push myself is because I am working on projects with an intent to generate passive income. So every hour I put in counts towards that singular goal.

Working 4-10 hrs every day ensures I get market feedback early enough to either pivot or double down in months.

"Play stupid games, win stupid prizes"

Warripikine:
Is it just lack of money or is it a case of no virtuous women out there?
You people should tell me ooo, cos ayam not understanding today's men anymore..
Is Marriage now a death sentence or what?

We live in a world where anyone can do as they please. The opposite of freedom is responsibility.
The expectation that there should be men who are into marriage is borderline entitlement.

Nobody owes you anything. If you can't find any good guys that's on you and clearly no one else's obligation to fulfill.

Nobody owes you anything. Period.

Imagine that.

sapphiere:
Men, you must take responsibilities of the child even if the DNA confirms that the baby is not yours - Barr. Vivian

Nigerian Barrister took to her Twitter handle to advice men not to neglect the baby even if DNA confirms the baby isn't theirs.


She wrote:


https://mobile.twitter.com/VivianRora/status/1345146460514504707

Utter gutter garbage levels of stupidity. So because women have been treated badly in marriages, men should be given the same treatment? Have we all given up on good decency that we have settled for equality in shitty outcomes? If so, then to each his/her own! Since we've all decided to be mad, why abide by any obligation - real or imagined? Werey wey disguise

With every milligram of my soul, and every atom of my spirit, F a C k you.

She posted this because of a viral tweet listing and encouraging men to DNA test their babies. Coincidence? I think not!

By their tweets, ye shall know them. Wahala dey for no get sense

drskyfly007:
Grow up!

Bleep you - Twice in advance for the next dumb shit you're going to say!

skimena:
I can't support masturbation or rape. Never. When u're Hot and you are not married. Just read your Bible. Pray, sing praise and worship to God.

You won't even last 3 minutes before the urge will disappear.

Seriously? F**k you. Not everyone is stupid enough to be holding back one of their body's natural occurrences because of some social standard and fairy tales - find a partner or self-service, and as the french would say "sin in moderation"

Again f**k you.

franchasng:
Hmmm, all because of a girl

Why are some guys so dumb

Women are the same. No woman is good or bad. Every woman is good and bad. A woman's good or bad character comes out based on the man she meets.

When a woman or lady meets her dream man, she becomes an angel woman and when she is with a guy she does not like, she becomes a Jezebel!

That bad girl u know is an angel to one guy.

That angel lady u are praising is a Jezebel to one or two guys somewhere!

That girl that is always demanding money and things from u is begging one guy somewhere for love and even using everything she has to please the guy.

That angel Lady u think u have is a witch to some guys somewhere!

So guys stop wasting your time crying for any lady, whenever u are ready to find date or get married, just find any girl that u are attracted to who is completely loyal to you and go for and if she misbehaves, drop her and don't cry about it, and if she drops u, smile and fin another one....all women are the same, just find the one that likes u more than u like her and she will become an angel to please you.


The only things that should make you cry as a man are:


1.) Death of your mother
2.) Death of a dear and valuable sibling
3.) Death of a child (God forbid we bury one)
4.) Loss of crucial political election
5.) Loss of a major business or money deal
6.) Deadly sickness or disease

Your head is spot on!

I'm currently hunting for a place. I've seen some that I like and are within budget but I feel like a JJC in the matter. What tips/advice can you give? What red flags should I look for? Are landlords open to allowing a power meter to be checked for outstanding?

Thanks in advance.

A friend of mine was told that his bill was different because he was using "a coded meter". Is it just a confusing parlance to collect more money? He asked what "coded" means and they guy started talking from both sides of his mouth.

sgtponzihater1:
Few month back I got a job of a little close to 150k and I came to nairaland rejoicing, few weeks from then I had rejected a job of 100k. This job promised to raise my amount by about nearly 30k if I stay a full year, then promote me every 2years afterwards. I however don't feel I am earning enough and I'm always at the verge of quitting and facing my many innovations, as I currently run several side stuffs to keep my self afloat. I however get home at times 10pm (though close 3pm, at most 4pm) and I mostly have to be at work by 8am

How much money is enough money for a married man with one kid. I was discussing with a colleague today and he kept complaining how he can hardly get by. I also told him I only remained because the job gives a steady source of income and also helps me pursue what I studied in school. It also helps me learn the experience of being able to sustain a private business, as the company has survived for over a decade.

Give ur views as to what a good pay in the current economy.

Sgt Ponzi Hater

Here's my take on it : How much minimum would you need live ideally?

I'm using the dollar as my reference, so:

Before inflation : $1 = 160 Naira
Now : $1 - 360 Naira (225% Increase)

Therefore, to get the same value of 100k before inflation time in present day, you would need to be earning 225,000

Assuming you're putting aside money for rent monthly (lets say 800k divided by 12 months), 66,000

Feeding expenses are usually anywhere from a quarter of your income to half. Choosing half of 225,000: 112,500

Transport? Assuming 30% of 225,000 : 67,000

Adding all of this, we have a total ideal of N470,500


Now, Ask yourself, what level/position within your company would you need to be to be earning that?

While you're asking yourself, lets convert this to dollars at N360 per dollar. That's[b] $1306 a month.[/b]

If you check salary benchmarking sites in others countries you may find out what they earn monthly is way above that.

Example :

Nigerian Salary for Front web developer (approx) : 60k ~ 240k ~ higher which in US dollars is[b] $166 ~ $240 per month[/b]
Arabian Salary for Front web developer (approx), the amount in US Dollars is $1000 to $2000

Conclusion

If you take the lowest amount in an arabian country ($1000), and convert to naira, you'll see its barely enough to sustain you based on our ideal income

We live in a country where we need to almost out-earn international counterparts to put body and soul together, but our economy can't afford to pay us our worth.