₦airaland Forum

Loool, comprehension is a big issue for some nairalanders.

Ewa agoin and dodo

ademajek:
I also read the comment you quoted, I chose not to comment. But after I read your comment I had I feel I had to say this.
There are different kinds of men and women, ladies, guys, girls, boys or whatever you may want to call them. We have different background, experiences as well as exposure. These things often time influences our thoughts, perception and ultimately our decisions.

I'm married and I can proudly that there is absolutely nothing I can't for my spouse when it comes to house chores, just name it. Anything, anything you can think of or imagine. And still have to provide for everything to the best of my financial capability. The question then is, did all that changed her entitlement syndrome/mentality?

I'll keep that answer to myself. one is certain, I love my wife dearly and won't place any other man or woman above her.

During my little experiences so far, I have seen enough to tell you emphatically that a man or woman will always chose to be what or who they want be regardless of what you do or didn't do. That's the power of choice.

You mentioned something about how a woman is wired, although I do not totally agree with your postulation. I believe its one of those catches employed to douse tension or console. Let me ask, do you know how a man is wired? Can you handle or stand it. Nobody is wired in any such way that you may have your mind What you see is who we have become due to experiences, information, exposure, background etc.

Be whoever you want to be, I can tell that there will always be somebody that thinks, reasons or see things the way you do in a man or woman. There are men with entitlement mentality just as there are in women just that nnà own too much abeg .
There are women building houses and empires through their hard earned money like men. And there are also men who only want to reap where they did not sow like some {most} women do.

Bottom line is: you are who choose to be.

Firstly the person I quoted was responding to the post about how not to marry a woman not working, how things are changing, more money is needed in raising children etc etc , how a woman needs to contribute as it makes ecomonic sense to do so and she noticed ( I also noticed ) that the poster in all the long epistle didn't say anything about the nurturing aspect which primarily is the wife's responsibility, who shares in that, will he share the wives responsibility when his primary responsibility is being shared by the woman.

Lots of threads, lots of comments about how you must marry a working wife, I am not against that, it makes sense for the wife to work but will he take part of her own responsibility? there's always a silence on NL about that.You too are silent about that in your post.

Now I believe no matter the background, culture (I am talking about Nigerian culture) even religious wise. Men have always been the provider, women the nurturer.


Good to admit you can do all manner of chores despite you being the provider, your spouse misbehaving its a personal thing and most likely has nothing to do with your provider status.

At the bolded, let's not deceive ourselves most men feel out of place (trying to put it mildly) if they are being provided for by the spouse, same way a woman can nurture ( this is very broad) and not break down but give her the provider role and as strong as she is you will begin to see cracks.

Now economy and life generally is beginning to make a switch in this order and add an egoistic man to the mix - a disaster is in calling.
Life happens sometimes ,the man loses his income and the wife steps in and she's expected to fully play both roles, trouble starts, any little complain you get the 'is it because you are feeding me' you expect me to babysit. Wife begins to crack under pressure and boom she breaks one day and says out her mind and hubby opens a thread on NL on how 'wifey changed after I lost my job' and the woman bashing begins forgetting that even the men can't do both roles fully without cracking too.

I do agree that our background influences our perceptions etc but that doesn't change our original roles.



How is a man wired ? to be polygamous like I read on NL (just joking )

Dyt:
Looking like banana to me

Mariangeles:
Oh my gee! What manner of beautiful gift
Plantain ndi Reverend father
I'll fry it, then let you know

Oya kuku take fried one, its ready.

Plantain


Mariangeles the plantain lady

Oya fry this one

cococandy:
Don’t you guys know it’s only women who lie on the internet to garner sympathy

The moment he said “I’m not a saint”, my mind already told me he F’d up. If it were minor offenses he committed, he wouldn’t even think he did anything at all.

Nothing surprises me on nairaland anymore.

Lool nairaland

After heaping insults and Yabbing all Nigerian women now realizing that the OP didn't say the whole story.

Now that he has been exposed, they can now preach that they should tell the wife to resolve amicably.

Some are even saying the story the exposer posted is a lie but they believe totally that of the OP.

The fact that the OP, and those that countered deactivated after the other side of the story says a whole lot.

OP didn't answer all the accusations leveled against him by the moniker that countered him.

Did he beat up his wife - no response
He had a case with human rights commission in naija - no comment
He seized her phones didn't allow her to work - no response etc and etc.

No response to all the accusations .


Nairaland and drama

How much is the money OP.

Lots of people avoid the police like a plague , the issue has gotten to a police man asking her side of the story, I don't blame her for saying she doesn't want wahala.

Ybaby:
A small point

People love me on NL and I love them back

It is infidels that are bashing me and I bash them back

Lool

Okay then ma'am

UjuJoan2:
I think it's pretty offensive to suggest that all a woman has to offer is sex and breeding in the home.

You see, older men like you is the real reason why men are in the delimma they find themselves now. They made it seem like going to work and making money is the only job that mattered in the home. They made it seem like women who stayed home with the kids did nothing but eat and get fat. So men became overbearing, domineering, annoyingly selfish. And why won't they after all, women had nothing to offer so have no right.

And then things started changing. The economy began changing. Women started working, not just as hard but sometimes even harder than men. Women started providing, sometimes even more than the men.

But the men refused to change, now they realize that taking care of the home is not easy. They refuse to help with chores, they still want to be worshipped because that's the way they were raised. They still want regular freshly made meals and dry cleaning, because that's how it has always been. That's how it was for their fathers.

But what about the women, who now have to, in addition to being a primary home keeper, cater for the family? Who prepares their meals? Who does their dry cleaning?

The problem is that men want to eat their cakes and have it.

Women were never created to be providers, that's why nature made them the breeders. They are supposed to stay home and breed. But they don't even have that 'luxury' anymore. Now they also have to provide . And you think buying them a few clothes or an iphone is compensation enough?

You can be as condescending as you like, it doesn't make your myopic view on African women right.

I can't even count the number of women I know personally who are brwadwinners. I can't even count how many women I know who single handedly advanced their families.

So when men expect to be worshipped despite depending on their wives financially, i blame it on our parents and their parents too.

You see ehn I am still waiting for the day a male will open a thread on nairaland and talk about the bolded how they too can take some nurturing responsibility.


Its just simple women are not wired to provide, its against the natural order,now that she's providing ( it makes sense for a woman to work nowadays) will you help out in the nurturing? No response from NL males, anyway reality is always different lots of guys in real life are beginning to shape up.


Thats why I laugh so hard when people people bash moniker Ybaby she's right on the point that men are to PROVIDE and PROTECT simple, dance around it, ignore it, call it another name but the fact doesn't change. I may not agree with all her points but hey she's right on this provider issue.

Jeez I didn't see anything wrong with your nipple in the before pictures, nothing worth peeling naaw.


Hope the stuff doesn't become complicated.

Wishing you speedy recovery ooo.

Aloe vera would help.

Uncummed woman

They kuku will not kill someone on NL, it was premium tears I saw one time.

BrownLondon:
The husband is the head, my point is this thread is needless.

[Men are the breadwinner in an average NIGERIAN home, at least 95% the rest 5% is negligible.

Op should create a thread on how unemployed husbands can get a new job not how to be a slave.

I repeat this thread is against our culture.

Say what
95%-5% ??
That statistics is one kain.

Pavore9:
The question that needs to be answered is, when such men die leaving behind school going children, do the siblings he had helped while alive step in to see to the welfare of their late brother's children?

Most of the times no they don't
The 'Uncles' swoop in to even claim their brothers assets leaving the woman penniless/ homeless if she hasn't made some investments.

eazzzy1:
Women do not always like it when their spouses give other people money, the 5000 or 10000 your husband gives his siblings is not the cause of his lack of investments.

There are lots of other ways your husband can cut cost but you are fixated on him not giving his family. Expunge that idea from your mind, it will always be seen as trying to put a wedge between him and his family.

If truly your husband is irresponsible with his money, love him through it and one day he will come to realization, if you can’t do that leave the marriage. You are already solely taking care of your immediate family, I’m sure you won’t miss him anyway?

The things I read on NL sha.

bukatyne:
I use MTN.

Their 30Gb for N5k as we are working from home now.

That's a very fair deal if the 30G is truly 30G

bukatyne:
Let me send my akant.

Lool


If you use Glo you can subscribe for Sunday plan 1.5G for 200 naira that's what I use for downloading stuffs like this.

bukatyne:
Are you by any chance writing part two?

I need to watch the movie anyways.

Nope


Yeah, you can download from YouTube it's about 700mb.

Okay so I watched it yesterday

I loved the Ijesha dialect in the early part of the movie, that dialect always sounds like music to my ears

I couldn't imagine the embarassement at the scene of the marriage introduction where sister told wife's family that he doesn't have a job, can't imagine how the wife would have felt then even me watching the movie was feeling sorry for her.

In terms of quality it was okay, paid attention to minute details. 1960s looked and felt like the 60s, good locations too and as the years went by we saw changes in home furniture etc etc.

Its good they told it as it was, how he was very naughty as a young boy.

Absolute and total faith in God

Knowing ones purpose

Importance of the person one marries, it can make or mar either of the spouse's destiny, he needed someone who understood his purpose and vision, I doubt he would have come this far without the support of his wife and he actually included that in his proposal (I can't do it alone I need someone to do this with me )


And how Christain courtship should be not the deception that happens a lot nowadays.


And most importantly there is always a story behind every successful person even pastors, all the true men of God started from somewhere.

Anybody successful in whatever started from somewhere and built slowly and steadily, there's always a process behind the result any one sees.

Everybody heard about Agbara NLA but the ministry officially started the day sister accepted the proposal in 1985 that's about 7 years to when agbaranla came out on VHS ,it took much more for mount zion to be all over the map as prophesied let's say 30years plus. People want to start today and become big today, it doesn't work like that.

Lots of funny scenes like when shola's mum would be watching the expressions between Bro mike and shola, The moment shoals sister was indirectly interviewing shola when she came to look for bro mike.

All in all it is a good CHRISTAIN movie in terms of quality and content we could relate with his life story.

I think the post is about mothers and sons because mothers spend most time with the kids, fathers bathe their daughters they hardly bathe with them and there's really nothing wrong with a mum exposing her body to the female child.

What age should a mum stop exposing body parts (lets just say unclothedness)to a baby boy.

E.g A 2 year old claims he wants to suck whenever the mum is feeding his younger one.

RTSC:
You can't marry a woman like that unless you are a child of God.

God will not allow his daughter to marry a heathen.

You won't even see them in the first place.

Loool

Most people don't understand this

Even so called christain guys that all that is on their mind is how to lure the lady to have sex with them are shouting about a not getting virtuous woman up and down, just to keep the bed undefiled they can't.


Likes attract likes.

Good ,Godly women are abound God forbid if they fall into the hands of rogues.

Buy a far cheaper car, you don't need anything fancy just something that will help you family with motility.

The 300-400k range is okay,The koko is for it to be sound.

Lots of distress sales around

Abeg don't buy agbana car oo

Trayceey:
I saw this story on Facebook. Copy copy

its her story naau, she told it on facebook, she had mentioned it on NL sometimes back that he had twins via surrogacy.

bukatyne:
There is no such thing as bad publicity

Abi nau

Babies jeez

Is that not a delivery ward I am seeing with blood allover, why attack a hospital.

Look at that new baby being evacuated chai

kenigwe18:
Hii I'm interested in your product.... How can we talk

Sorry bro I no longer sell the product.

Its like saying people should stop visiting nairaland because some people are anti marriage, For marriage, traditional, redpillers, feminists, misogynists etc.

Is it not people that post the comments.

Its like people don't know how to survive on social media, you read some the way you read a good story(some you ignore totally), you laugh over some posts, you ruminate over some sensible posts, you learn from some and you comment on some posts. Besides anybody can post anything on social media it might not be a true reflection of what they are or represent offline so know how to sift through.




You just called my attention to it Lemme even check out the blog and see what the hullabo is about

Congratulations ma'am.

Reference:
Yes, you can be told specifically the person to bond with. Marraige is the most important inter human relationship to God and He takes great interest and makes great involvement in it.

Just as information is available to the researcher, just as secrets are open to the loving so is God's involvement in such a decision. You can be close enough to be specific, a bit further away to be impressed and yet futher away in your relationship with God to be opportuned, i.e He causes such a person to come your way.

The worst thing a man can do is either not to know these things or deliberately ignore them. For the ability of man to know the future is almost nil and his ability to read the heart of his partner to be is impossible. Marraige is long enough and complex enough not to need help from above.

Flesh and blood has not revealed this to you.



God knows in the realm of the unknown and sees in the realm of the unseen.

There's a limit to what our own brains can decipher when it comes to who to marry. Some people have perfected the act of wolving in sheep clothes that you can never catch them except with help from above.

Asour:
Does God specifically tell people who (the Person) to marry.
I know he acquiesces to people's proposal BUT does he really instruct who to marry?

How come we never saw this is in the Bible?

This is just an aside though but many people make this claim. The question now is if God specifically defines people to marry other people then those who have made wrong choices in life and then died, became really sick or mentally depraved have all "left" their God defined partners stranded. isn't it.

Or does God keep changing his mind— about 'the right partner' —when this happens.

'even if God said that was the best partner for us'


Yes, God can tell us who to marry it doesn't mean life's challenges will be erased.

As for the bolded I honestly don't have an answer to that but the fact is there might not be just one ordained partner, a lot of people all over the world might fit into Gods purpose for the individuals life so anyone of them might just be the right partner and there's also free will, one can decide not to follow his instruction.

A lady can get proposed to by 3 men, physically they are all okay in attributes no major red flags from her own personal observation, then she decides to pray and she gets a response for the best fit, It doesn't mean the others are not worthy husbands but not just the best for her they might be to some others but not her also same for the men.

As for seeing it in the bible or not, Christians are to seek God in all our ways, marriage is not an exception.

Not everyones dreams will be fulfilled abroad.

Hers was fulfilled in naija.
Yours in the US.

There may still be a chance your marriage might be salvaged.

Make a decision.

cutiereborn:
Weldone! These looks great. I guess Akposy's formula of rolling while still in cling film is way to go

Thanks Yes the rolling with the cling worked.