₦airaland Forum

At least the tribalists won't have something to say.

Amara has not been a social media person, it's like this guy has passed his boundary.

Anyway na them sabi.

Oyindidi:
She painted her husband as the devil. She is flawless

she never said she was noow, she did admit she was stubborn at some point in this thread.

Oyindidi:
Tell him to create a thread on Nairaland, I'm interested in his own version of this whole issue. Truth be told, you are a self-centered person. Judging from your post here. Work on yourself too as you intend to control him as he is contributing little for the family's upkeep.

Saying she is self centered is harsh, very harsh. I really don't see what's wrong with some of her demands.

Apart from not paying school fees to prove a point that's the major offence here.

What still strikes me is how a full grown man will sit down and allow his wife to do the muscular jobs of washing starching and ironing clothes commercially without wanting to share when he's available and the money is for food right? She does other jobs too oo plus normal wifey chores.

That's slavery

Outspoken and a bit rigid yeah, made some mistakes here and there yeah but self centered? No


The major problem is they are ideologically different and it will take a miracle for them to agree on these issues.

Which woman doesn't want to feel secured in her marriage?

He doesn't pay his child fees, the wife does most of the work in the laundry business for the home( this is the most annoying to me because he could always help out), she's constantly threatened ( including a cutlas threat) she knows she means not so much to him (because of the I am doing this for my child statement), he's perfect to outsiders and doesn't want them to know wats up in their home.

So what exactly does he use his little income for?

It's not today men have had challenges with money but I do have a problem with a man like this.

He doesn't care about his wife simple.

agabusta:
We asked what the issue was, they said they have to go all the way to Epe from the mainland to discharge, that govt has stopped them from discharging at the previously approved places.

Should the government allow them continue dumping refuse at olusosun in ojota and that igando dumpsite besides the general hospital?

Those places are filled and overflowing already and constituting a nuisance, development has gotten to those places.

That igando dumpsite is an eyesore.

Government may not be 100percent right on this but those places need to be stopped. It may cost more for them but what should government do than provide a better alternative.

Am I the only one seeing that the husband said she should do most of the laundry work ( washing, ironing and starching) plus the house responsibilities and taking care of the child.

Is it too much for her to ask for the laundry work to be shared equally between them, yes any woman would ask for that noow?

Is laundry that easy a job to do for a woman at a commercial scale? What man would want to overwork his woman to that extent, I am almost certain it's being ironed and starched by hand.




That's where I had a problem with this whole story.

Zykod:
You are not seeing it the way it's happening. I'm a man let me explain, the man doesn't give two hoots about the daughter, he also cares less about the family.

The man is all about the money, he wants the woman to make the money, give to him and he'll do what he wants to do, anything less than this is a NO-NO for him. He can't afford the woman making decisions and ascribes it as pride the woman may be willing to work with him, but he wants none of it.


I've seen this kinds before, they want to be the one dishing out goodies at all time and won't settle for being a beneficiary of anyone's goodies, she married a man who needs some psychological re-adjustment if the home will standb Little wonder why single lades are not taking some of serious. If i have a wife that can bring something to the table,i'll gladly accept it, call her to the dining table, and discuss, this and that is the way forward this is what's gonna happen.

I'm too-rich for now, but you take the lead, while i go hustle, but na lie, the pride-demon in him will not let him to the right thing, she should be helpless while he should be the one doing the sepnding is his fixated ideology about marriage. This woman here has no issue oh, her hands are clean, its the man that needs to grow up..


Not a prophet of doom, but the only way this woman can enjoy her marriage is only if the man earns more money, which wont happen, no be curse, God seeing and knowing the kind of man he is will bless this woman more and more, and more. She will keep earning more and more than him, and if he can't deal with it, it's going to create more tension between them....Divorce is not the case here, i suggest oP settles for a long term rocky relationship. This is not a happy union obviously....She married a wrong man.


Give me a woman that earns more than me, and i'll happily pull my chair saw woman kneel down, pray for her to continue to earn more, ask her to make me chicken peppersoup every night, while i hustle, i'll enjoy her success without envying it. Marriage is not a battle ground. Competiton creates strife even in marriage, the both genders are meant to complement one another and not try to kill one another in the name of you earn more than me and i can't take it. God give me a millionaire wife, i will gladly accept it, as long as it comes with humility, submissiveness and Godliness...

Nice points.

Nawa ooo

The girlfriend that brought the cousin to live as a flat mate with her boyfriend, the guy that accepted a female flat mate and the cousin herself. All of them are not serious.

I mean it

This is going to turn to a tribal bashing thread.

Your bro in law is lazy shikena.

Even from the story you narrated he's lazy someone that wants to be a pastor and doesn't want to be under a pastor or mentor does that sound like a hardworking person to you.

Lots of silly posts on this thread.

Op has moved on with another woman, wifey has known op is cheating tried to protect herself the way she feels she can.

I still don't get why some guys are huffing and puffing at the fact that she's building a house, the lady doesn't want to lose it all. She's lost her hubby, inlaws, no child. She has planned her exit just incase they finally chase her out.

That house thing is really paining some people sha.

Brugo:
Lol. Cos she collected her money back (probably with interest) and her husband doesn't realise it. No stress, no argument but she has made her profit. Simple. I respect that.

No need to fear now.

A lot of women don't know the kind of influence they have, just normal influence power. The man will exert authority, the woman will just keep calm let him shout and show he is 'the man' then influence him to do her bidding quietly with or without him realizing it.

It's one of the silent powers women have.

Brugo:
Also, madam, I am impressed yet terrified by your manipulative skills. I mean this in a positive way.

Don't mind my pokenosing, but why are you terrified? Besides it really is not 'manipulating' in the real sense of it.

graciously2013:
That my point she was not secure in the marriage. The guy Is not faithful to her

She knows and the fact that she doesn't have a child yet added to her insecurity so she was planning her exit.

She seems to have given up anyway, just check out the combination inlaws that don't want her, she's not finding it easy to have a child and then you add a cheating husband to the mix, too dangerous a combination that can make any woman act like she did.

GrammarCheck:
As we are, I have used sense to collect back the money over time. I never said, give me back my money. But for everything I send a budget for, I inflate the cost. Even money for the schoolchool fees, diapers and food. I am shopping for another property which I will buy in my name. I will tell him, for info purposes only. This life is wisdom. So I should have divorced him because he played a fast one on me?

When I confronted him, he said I am a woman, I should be submissive. Ok, in submission, no problem, we will meet on the bed at night, where he cannot say no to my demands

Madaam the madam, the bolded part got me. No be everything be gragra, women have a lot of power we just don't know how to use it.




@topic that lady knew he was cheating

Igando customary court sha.

currentprice:
check the price here

http://www.trw-stockbrokers.com/nsetoday.aspx

Thanks a lot.

Hello I do have some questions, my mum called me yesterday and was telling me something about stocks or shares rising. She sort of invested heavily in some decent companies pre 2008 before the crash and never sold any. I just told her to forget about it then that when it is time it will recover after everything went haywire

I really dunno what the value of some of them are now.

Any link to check prices

Thanks.

Statsocial:
So they said for ppl who want to study Agric in Landmark-still they aren't so plenty. Funny enough Music can be more valuable than some over celebrated nonsense courses that they we still do.

Yeah you are right but considering this is Nigeria most would want to go for what they seem is more proffitable.

Anyway I know their music school will be top notch.

That message 'dancers at the gate of hell' is one message young people should listen to especially the way sex is being celebrated everywhere nowadays.

He announced sometimes back that there was scholarship for those that want to study music.


It seems people don't apply to study music in Nigerian universities anymore though, I guess it's to encourage people to study the course.

I am not surprised music is part of their pioneer courses.

Wowzer same ezeugo they printed and sold calendar for us to have a peep at his wealth that time.

Nothing truly lasts for ever, he died young.

It's been long ooo.

What's the big deal command schools in Nigeria cut their hair from jss1 to 3 a at when I was in secondary school.

The question is did they carry drugs?

If yes they should face the consequences

If no and they were accused wrongly then something may be done.


They know the consequence, why crying foul.

ImaIma1:
It is not just the yorubas that have thw weddings in the bride's church. Your fiance is that being stubborn. My close friend is yet to have her church wedding after two children because her husband is catholic and she ia Pentecostal and the parents are not helping.

Your husband is coming to marry you. So he has to follow your way. He cannot insist that it is done in his church. If you let it slide like that, be ready to let many more things slide in future.

My husband's family is JW and they came to my church. My FIL kept saying that it is my day and they will do it however i want it.

Your husband should know that you also have cultures and tradition.

That's how I know it is most times but it's kind of the other way round here, and from what I read here it seems it's a Catholic doctrine and we know quite a large number of Igbos are catholics. I do know igbo pentecostals really don't follow this strictly.


I would have said more but since the lady has agreed that she will go the Catholic way after the marriage there's an agreement already so there won't be complaints after marriage. It's just to convince the families for the solemnization, she's in a position I don't envy.

Your best best madam op is to get the dispensation stuff ubendictus said so that everybody will be happy.

Ubenedictus:
let me tell you the simple truth. your man is trying to help you, if you are married in his Church he is sacramentally tied to you and cannot divorce you without a serious back lash from his Church.


let me explain.

Catholics consider marriage to be a sacrament... that means it is an effective means of grace by which God sanctify and bless a union of man and wife, for us that Union is so deep and that it mirrors the Union of Jesus and his Church... thus marriage now has an intrinsic Christian character....that it becomes indissoluble, stable and self given... I don't even know if you will understand this... it is not found in Protestant theology. you may check the thread for Catholics if you really wish to understand it.



to cut a long story short a Catholic is only recognized are sacramentaly married if he weds in his Church, or seeks and receive dispensation to be married in your Church.

without this, his Church will not recognized this so called marriage and it will be as if you guys are just living together, he won't be able to receive communion. in fact If you guys divorce tomorrow his Church would not even care because he isn't considered validly married.
this is very serious.

he needs a dispensation to get married in your Church or you marry in his....

it is important the guy isn't trying to be rigid... where a Catholic marries is a very valid concern.

Well didn't know it was a doctrine so if you don't receive the dispensation and you get married in another church, the Catholic church doesn't recognize the marriage, those ones are not valid right?


There's also the cultural factor here too now, Yorubas don't really do the marry in your husband church thing, that's where the matter is for the lady if she was igbo from another denomination it would have been easier to convince her family since they seem to be more inclined to such.

My friend was in this same position and honestly it was not funny.

Miss there are about 2 factors here.

Church
Igbo/ yoruba culture


On the issue of church to wed, culturally in yoruba land it's the brides father or brides church(depending on circumstances)that the wedding is done, the point is the brides family are the ones that make arrangements for wedding both trad and white.

It seems Igbos have no problem with the wedding holding in the man's church culturally and then you now add catholic/ penstecostalism to the mix.

So your people will see your hubby's request as strange which is expected, most yoruba dad's will never allow it because they will tell you it is the man that is coming to marry the woman.

While your hubby's people will see it as no big deal.


My friends wedding was stalled for more than a year same issue

Bride- yoruba/ baptist
Groom- igbo catholic

The grooms mum was the fore runner of the you must come to the east for the church wedding and the yoruba people were like we don't do it that way where we come from, it's you guys that must come to southwest in our own church it was not a small matter.

I did notice that other Igbos of other denominations really don't have an issue with this it's only the igbo catholics that insist the wedding must be in the grooms church, it sounds more like culture than the Catholic doctrine.

nobody was right or wrong, it's just the way things are done differently.

Madam you have a lot on your hands, you won't want to hurt your family and he wouldn't want to hurt his and unfortunately nobody is right or wrong it's just the perspective each is coming from.

warrah:
Woow, dude, are you a psychologist, you nailed it, every point you raised was correct.

Her anger, I spend too much...I was the one paying the bills
I allowed my friend stay in my own room while I stayed with her in her own room
We usually come back late
No sharpening of pencil because of little boy around


But I still think she should have come to me directly than heaping her frustration on the girl. All the same, thank you so much, I now see where I fuxcked up

Lool why not your visitors staying in the 3rd room instead of you moving to wifeys room and your friend staying in yours.

Also something must have happened that day the guys went out.

Sort it out jare.



Donald3d made some excellent points, you just need to know how women are wired.

gabazin080:
na u b d husband?

Once you know a woman's last menstrual period you can calculate the expected date of delivery, there are apps that can help you or you just count 40 weeks.

gabazin080:
so has your wife giving birth

Nairalanders ehn, loool

She should be due in February.

Mfm, every 3Rd Sunday we watch teachings on marriage from the headquarters. All branches connect and watch, there's a sermon on marriage( sometimes G.O takes the sermon sometimes some A.GOs) then there's question and answer segment.

That's what we do 3rd Sundays and if for any reason we don't connect( maybe network or logistics) the branch pastor preaches on marriage and then questions are answered.

The brideprice is never the problem , it's always small money it's the 'lists' that's always the problem and I think it has to do with the communal nature of the Igbos, it's the whole community in the village that gives out the daughter (according to what an igbo friend told me) so you have to settle them.

But where I come from the father of the bride is the sole decision maker (one uncle can't stand somewhere and start demanding) so he can modify and even tell the groom to bring whatever he can bring and it's what he brings that will be shared with family.

By the way she shouldn't have brought this online abeg she and hubby should have negotiated the list.

Na wa ooo


I am suspecting my area may be in darkness for sometime till this is fixed

They should do quick, at least we know what happened.


Update: light restored, at least it shows they are working