₦airaland Forum

Moneyyman:
My God! Women go through a lot during childbirth. On one hand I thank God I don't have to go through that, but I really feel for women. Omohhh x100000000.


After all that struggle the pikin go come dey vex for small errand him mama send am. Chai

Lool, the pikin must hear word by fire by force.

nedekid:
The portion of the Expressway after the sagamu bridge bypass us quite dangerous.
Hope your staff is found safe.

Amen, Thank you.

darlenese:
I once applied it on my Veejah when I had my second child ,I mysteriously felt better compared to the pain I was feeling down there , I can't believe I actually did that and felt a lot better. Motherhood sha

Interesting?

Was it to feel relief from a tear/ stitches?

nedekid:
Stay there and tribalze issues while those fulanis take over the whole country.
Are you aware that 19 people were killed on Lagos ibadan express way last Monday? It did not even appear in the news. A staff that was meant to resume work got call from amotekun that they saw his number on a phone. He should come over. Apparently his wife went for a program out of Lagos. On getting there, his wife was already in the morgue along side 17 others. All the women including his wife had their legs broken allegedly in the process of them being raped. Some were strangled and most shot! He had to pay 2k to retrieve the corpse.

Jesus, this is terrible.

One of our staff has been missing since Sunday evening, he's been declared missing, left Ibadan Sunday evening to Lagos.

Lagos ibadan expressway is something else

Insecurity in this country is alarming. There are very many incidents that we don't hear of, lots of missing people without a trace.

pocohantas:
Maybe their fathers gambled away his earnings while their mothers toiled to raise them.

May nature hook them with women who love them but are only addicted to gambling.

@ only gambling.

Gambling that can destroy a life and other lives attached to the individual involved beyond repair. People have amounted to nothing in life because of it. Very terrible addiction.

Decembe:
I wasted a whole 6years.
Instead of me to learn a skill or continue my education,I stayed with sister to assist her after she gave birth to twins.
Stayed with another of my sis during corona period to take care of her kids because of her work then.
Now am doing A'level programme and none of them never for once call me to ask of me if I don't call or flash them.Shishi i never see from them since last year October.
I told them I need 5000# to start perfume oil business,no response from them.
My story long gan.
But oomoooo....I really regret helping them.

I am so sorry for your experience, it's the plight of a lot who placed their life on hold for their siblings, especially helping elder ones to take care of kids.

My mum also told me that was her experience.

Nobody should put his!/her life on hold for a sibling except in cases where one has to wait for another to finish school because of finances, even in this case one should try as much as possible to raise the finance because some opportunities may never come again.

Nawa see the way people are supporting chronic gambling.

It is well.

Richy4:
Honestly I wasn't surprised by those comments.. Funny enough, some of them will love to reside in US or UK.. but what the citizens of those countries were doing to make their country great, they can't do it.. They find it repulsive

The point is if he doesn't mind his business he might lose even his life on this issue.

If he was abroad there will still be some hope for justice.

Richy4:
You are human.. u have feelings as well.. if truly your story is authentic, and u got prove that he was cheating, the Last thing on your mind would be to initiate sex.. it doesn't sound real that he was cheating on u and u are talking about sex.. u should lash out, u should remove the anger that is bottled up.. not using sex to cure a cheating spouse...

Again, You are not even worried about the consequences of getting infected with diseases that is incurable..[b]All u were focusing is on how to keep him.. hen[/b]ce living yourself vulnerable ...

I won't teach u on how to react on situations like this but again, are u for real? Are u really really a citizen of this planet Earth?

@bolded is the reality of a lot of women, even when the man is cheating, society says he has to be kept.


There's nothing that can stop a man from cheating, not even sex well except divine intervention.

A man who doesn't cheat has made an intentional effort not to do so even in the face of seduction.

emmanuelbrown26:
Op, I'm happy for u and thank yuor stars that u were lucky to marry a good woman in mid 2000s bcs beautiful marriages ended early 2000.
Therefore, u are 1 lucky man in a million mne that got married in mid 2000

Who told you beautiful marriages ended early 2000. Are you saying no good marriage from 2000 upwards again.

Ogbeni there are very wonderful marriages out there. There are still good girls and guys out there.

JovialJune:
When some women people can knowingly marry a violent man, Op's own is small, don't be surprised what some women will endure just to answer "Mrs"

Besides, there is a difference between a no conversation relationship and lack of communication fa, Op can talk, he just can't talk much

There are different grades of not talking much his own is a higher grade. OPs case seems like not talking at all to me.

DeutschJunge:
I know that, obviously it will be more. I like to keep conversations meaningful, so usually my favorite form of conversation with colleagues and people at least at this point in life, is usually straight question and answer. Tell me what you need, i give you what you need and vice versa. No small talk. Now, with a spouse that might be slightly different, but i am not banking on the fact that it would be significantly different.

I really appreciate youur contribution, You have first hand account and experience, which is why i created this thread. Do you mind if i ask more questions about the dynamics of your relationship?

-Does play/joke/fool around more now years into the marriage than he was before?
-If yes, how long did it take and how did you encourage it?
-if you could change anything about his personality, what would it be?
-How would you advice another woman who wants to marry someone like him?
-Do you genuinely love him or you are managing him? (you can choose not to answer, but if you do please be honest)
-If you could go back in time, would you marry him? (again you can choose not to answer)

@bolded with a spouse it will not be slightly different, it will be significantly different. Like 2 people from different backgrounds, orientation living together and you are saying it won't be significantly different abeg o.

I don't mind I will answer the ones I can.


- Play, joke/ fool around is mostly spontaneous, not something planned anyway. But I will say it is as it has been, if not lesser simply because there are more responsibilities now, little ones running up and down the house stressing everyone so not much time to catch fun, so the ones that happens we make the most of it. I could come with one Gist / aproko from the office and then we analyze dissect it, and then other conversations come in from his end and just when you are going with the flow a toddler needs attention

Just understand a lot of things can affect this, children, work, stress, even finances. A family without money might not be able to joke or fool around.


2.

3. If I could, I would want him to talk more and not suck somethings in like most men do.

4. Hmm, the personality of the lady also comes into play, someone with an extreme out going, extroverted personality might (will) not be able to cope. So I would say if the person extremely extroverted there's no point they would be miles apart.

I need to say I am also a quiet indoor person, just that I communicate better with people closest to me,not a SM freak like him too, possibly this similarity helped.

Major difference is I believe in talking things through with my loved ones but outside I would rather be silent and ignore since I believe they really don't matter in the grand scheme of things.

5. Yeah I do and I am not managing.


6.Yeah I would, I don't need one hot head that will be frustrating life out of someone.





Let me add this

Please don't be stiff in your home, let your stiffness stay outside , most women cannot cope with a stiff man, they might just manage, Loosen up.
In marriage things flow naturally they just do, different things, you laugh together, cry together, celebrate the little successes, the big ones, you quarell, make up, etcetc.

All you need is one lady that will sweep you of your feet, that stiffness will disappear. just have an open mind.

JovialJune:
Are you at least handsome? It can cover up the lack of communication when in a relationship, some ladies no mind

Can you at least be on WhatsApp, because I don't see the difference between being on this forum and WhatsApp, na still same chatting format.

Nairaland I hail ooo.

You mean some people won't mind a no conversation relationship?

DeutschJunge:


The problem is most women think the can change you when you fall in love with them. They will form understanding at the beginning, down the line they will now start trying to change and tamper with default settings.

Secondly, women like their partner to be someone they can goof around and be all silly with. Basically, laugh and play like kid s. That’s what keeps, maintains and in most cases increase their love for a man. I am VERY stiff! So, the thought that a woman will be managing you, rather than love you is just scary!



Your brother is a very lucky man to find a very understanding wife.

Well you will have to communicate, it's not a sort of default settings if you ask me, your wife is someone you should be open to, even if you are quiet outside, there should be some liveliness with her, No woman will want a silent guy totally silent.

So bro you will need to unstiff your self, even stiff people become relaxed in the presence of their spouse. Your stiffness should not extend home.

Sorry to ask oo but don't you laugh? You made it sound like it's wrong to laugh and play as kids

DeutschJunge:
Hello everybody,

It
The question now is, is it possible to be married and not engage with your spouse? I mean, all the talking and gossips and always trying to do things together. Can you have a healthy marriage with as little contact with the spouse, how about the children upbringing?

I would appreciate if the married women can relate their experiences and challenges with their spouse that might be a bit reserved, even though if it is not as much as what I explained. How they overcame it or the measures they took to deal with it.

Men can chime in to, if you are reserved and married. How do you manage? In fact, anybody with similar experience or know someone or just have some meaningful contributions, please feel free to share.

Well it's not possible to have a 30-60 min conversation with your spouse weekly and you can't have a healthy marriage with little contact / communication with your spouse. That's 10 minutes of talk per day.

You have to communicate, you have to engage your spouse, there are no 2 ways about it. You will have to work on it

My husband is very reserved, I think not up to this extent anyway, he once told me all the words he has spoken since we got married is much more than all his words before he got married.

He sees talking as a chore lots of times and would rather keep quiet but in marriage there's always something to talk about, always something to do and discuss together.

Now the talking has extended to the kids, he communicates with them too, he is still seen outside as the extremely reserved guy but he does communicate at home there are times he just goes quiet which I understand but I wouldn't like it if he was totally quiet like that all the time.

abbey621:
I just don't understand the business model, only a crazy business would believe they can loan Nigerians money and expect to be paid back. These businesses should know that most Nigerians are very very stubborn in fact very wicked set of people. People that would rent houses and refuse to pay and still threaten landlord for daring to ask for rent, people wey dey owe money but you will find them at beer and suya joint every weekend .

Imagine this one, you borrowed 30k you no fit pay so you ended up borrowing another loan to pay for the first loan, AMAKA WHY? If these loan companies had done their risk analysis properly they would have seen someone who clearly cannot live within his means, they would have seen someone that is high risk, sooner or later most of these companies would pack up when they realize Nigerians no get shame, in fact shameless is our national identity

I wonder oo but then the only way they can get paid back is the defamation or the LAPO style, I don't know how those LAPO people do it but they get their money back. This was even before all these apps came.

If you Borrow a typical Nigerian money without collateral you are on your own

Superboss:
Thanks for the reply.
If the 1500Watt can grind beans very well, I am good to go but the challenge might be getting the genuine product.

The bolded is always the problem, I don't think there's anything that doesn't have a fake here.

Superboss:
Pls, what is watt rating of the QASA blender and where can one find the dealers?

I will have to check the carton when I go there to be very sure of the rating of the one I bought but I think it's 1500w. The one I bought looks exactly like the Pic below.


Alaba international.

The video shows the plane being transported how will they call that a crash.

Despite the fact that they transported it at night possibly to avoid such news by bloggers. Nawa.

See the smiles on those children. God bless them all.

Not everything should be on SM.

Who knows the story. The tears could have been triggered by any thing, maybe his parents who saw him through were not available to see him marry, maybe Noone has properly married a woman before in his family, it could be any thing.and even if it's still because of love he's crying its still good.

I know someone who personally told me, he never ever believed he would marry in his lifetime, that even survival was very very terrible for them even to live was hell, they were the object of mockery in their area. He said the only thing that saved them was they had a roof over their heads, their Dad bought one of these jakande estate flats then.

Even when they told their block people this bro wanted to marry, they were asking their father that is it in this same 3bed you people want to bring wife in, what they didn't know was that levels has changed.

I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen/ heared the comments personally.

When his wife gave birth, he said he never even believed he would marry not to talk of having a child and the child is exactly like him, he looks at the boy in wonder.

Congratulations oh OP, many more years, abeg we need more lovely stories

Richy4:

It's only a woman in love that will say oh!! Philip.. oh Philip!! Repeatedly at every given chance.. u can imagine the sound of that in the bedroom..

The woman knows what she's missing.. and she went an extra mile to get it

Loool family section ehn, una no go kill persin with laugh.

Oh Phillip oh Phillip

I don't understand, what is she buying? This is a big issue oo, especially as you guys are even abroad. Some tales I hear about credit card gbese are not nice at all.

Dunno how it works but if can you deactivate it or something, do whatever you have to do oo. You need to do something drastic oo.

redgem:
Lol... Is it about how expensive it is? I bought the blender 26,500 (still have the receipt and so called warranty card) my biggest regret..

I bought my silver crest for 25k and its serving fine, I don't even blend at the engine when I want to make stew /akara anymore, unless I want to blend in quantity or for omi obe that has to be smooth like water. Changed the cup this year, I bought it in 2020..

Now I wanted to get one for mum some weeks back the seller I bought the silver crest from ( a marketer for some electronics brand) told me point blank to buy Qasa ( some others were more pricey, ) instead that lots of fake ( I think lower quality is the right word) of silver crest have flooded the market and it's not as strong as before as our people have started bringing in lower quality. The Qasa it has been serving mum well for moimoi, pepper and the likes. Bought it 25k too.

Personally I think after the first set of silver crest came and it was rushed, lower quality began to come in, maybe that explained the recent sharp drop in price.

But honestly the blender Sabi the job, very solid.

Lovelydaisies:
Aunty, I can relate. I was restitched also about two weeks later. Pile will then follow.

Chai I can't even imagine restitching, can't imagine at all. Sorry oo. Choi.

Merely thinking about the stitching is making me scared. I was cut ( very sharp and swift) and also had a tear, they said it was 3rd degree, tore to the anus fa. And baby was not big.

I heared whim, they called a senior dockie to stitch me oo ( they said it was a senior doc that would do the stitching) . He stitched me for almost one hour, I was screaming the place down. They gave me one injection which I believed was supposed to not make me feel anything for where, I felt every damn pull of that rope and that their needle like stuff.

I heared him telling the nursing students possibly it was because I was not having much sex during the pregnancy.

I was scared of going to urinate as the salty urine touched the place it will pepper. I now made a hole on the top of a bottled water any time I want to pee I will be pressing the water bottle so water can splash there to prevent the urine getting direct contact with the stitched place. I was traumatized very traumatized.


My 2nd baby I feared stitching more than the labor itself, luckily I believe the first baby had opened the place up, just one - 2 stitches. The matron was like if I had positioned well, I wouldn't have needed to stitch.

I think it's more common in FTMs sha to get a cut or tear, though the woman beside me in the labor ward was a 3rd time mum, had a tear and had to be stitched ( 3.8kg baby not big)

It's not possible to get an epistomy simply because the place will be tighter after stitching, it's only when it's necessary it will be given. It's not supposed to be a cosmetic stuff it's medical abeg.

And the wife gets the blame of Ops entitlement mentality.

One mustn't have your kind as a brother nor brother in law.

I fear your type OP. See his mouth like 2017 model car, how many Nigerians can afford 2017 model car.

maureensylvia:
Rest!!!

Leave him let him be doing Chochocho there, so it's the type of phone that determines networth abi, just because he's using one 200k phone now the only thing he can contribute on a thread where someone asking advice on a project that will run to millions of naira is noticing the brand of phone he is using.

Bukatyne and her threads.

Long time no see.

As for the topic I just hope the alfamales/redpillar people won't derail the thread.

Na God go help persin, even roasted panla and shawa we use to do shakara back den don cost.

Now we peacefully buy the panla, the fish no too get taste abeg.

Oku Eko (Lagos mortuary) aka kote sef don cost. Kote as in kote Nawa.

Either way in Lagos that shawa should be around 3hundred but in akwaibom you should get better fresh fish I suppose.

HUSTLER001:
The market where I reside is the head quarters of plantain market in Lagos. I'm just pained that you could have gotten not less than three fat bundles with your #2k. If you need me to supply you plantain next time just let mr know. My number is 08073576467. It's on the mainland though.

Idi oro mushin?