₦airaland Forum

Lool don’t go and put pressure on yourself ohhh lol. It’s not easy to carry life. It is well

nahzyla:
A year or two?
That one no too long? I had not finished losing weight from the first baby before this one started.

Anyway hopefully mine won't take so long.

Don’t worry it’s normal. Sometimes the weight gain is also caused by excess water in the body plus swelling. Also your body stores extra fat during pregnancy in preparation for the baby. I don’t even want to check my weight because I cannot purposely make myself depressed Lool . After a year or two you’ll be back to your normal weight or least close to it. If you’re lucky it might even be as fast as 6 months, but there’s no pressure or stress ahbeg.

nahzyla:
Amen ooo

I really hope to lose this weight, it's not funny at all, I have abandoned all my pre pregnancy clothes because they are now too small.

If you see how fat my legs have become now ehn, chai

We shall lose all the weight once baby arrives. We are in it together

nahzyla:
What am experiencing right now in pregnancy

If I don't eat constantly eyes start turning me, whole body starts shaking and nausea sets in.
Even if I am not hungry, it's the same, I must eat. I have added like 18kg this pregnancy and it's just 6months plus

Another thing is the tiredness that refused to go away. Even with all the eating th tiredness is still there, no strength to do exercise or daily chores hence the constant weight gain

There’s nothing you can really do that’s what comes with first trimester pregnancy. During my first trimester I couldn’t get out of bed At all, I was having my bath at most three times in a week, it was that bad. You will get better don’t worry. Just rest and eat the little you can. It’s the beautiful sacrifice you’re making for your child.

Greatness366:
Mother's I need help oo am week7+ am so weak can't do anything for myself eating is a problem nothing is sweet in my mouth everything irritates me my body is always hot.hospital says til 12weeks before I can be registered they only gave me routine drugs which are so difficult for me to take.my breast is so heavy and full am always lieing down.am a FT what do I do biko

Let that man go and see his sick dad the man might be on his death bed soon. I wonder why you were not invited, you should be apart of the family gathering. Are you having problems with your in-laws ? I think it would be v selfish of you to hold your husband back, you guys will have many more Christmas celebrations to spend together. About the expenses, you guys should sit down and budget how much he is going to spend when he is there and how much will be left to cover the house expenses for January. Let it be known that you cannot carry the financial burden for January as you are stark broke. Don’t let him think that he can fall back on your money. He will spend wisely. Good luck.

How can someone sit down and write this type of lie? What kind of mentally disabled person would even think this lie is reasonable? Some people and their devilish thoughts sha, stupid people.

freecocoa:
The story is obviously not true.

She should’ve hid her pregnancy till birth because she doesn’t need this kind of stress. Honestly

When you get married you need to understand that you no longer have the same freedom as a single man. It’s one of the many sacrifices you have to make, and if you can’t deal with it then stay single. As a married man coming home after 11pm/12am unless it was completely unavoidable Is unacceptable. This is when you’re not with your wife, it’s an unwritten rule. Now you need to keep on begging your wife, she will eventually come back to you. Please understand pride will get you no where in marriage when you’re the one at fault. Although I fault the wife for shouting in your face and disrespecting you, this is something you should also bring to her attention. Good luck

Sometimes even if you cook finish and clean they will still call you lazy. It happened to me na, upon all my hard work and sweating Lool. You can’t just please everybody no matter what you Do na. She can try as she should, but she can’t kill herself. If she is really too ill she should stay at home and hubby will explain to the inlaws. She’s not flying anywhere

Mzora:
exactly,my point... People will be expecting her to show them what she has got as new wife... And won't understand that she is not so strong to do that... They might instead see her as lazy.

YeH I think this is better instead of totally disregarding her hubby and putting him to one side. At least she can do that and still get the medical attention she needs without distractions. It’s all about coming to the middle where both people can be happy.

tyhgfrdeswscbhf:
If u are having bleeding right after u finish sex note dat it bad u need to quit sex for now


U hubby should understand ur point because u guys baby is in d center of d whole thing


Also there is other ways ur can satisfy ur hubby not necessarily through viginal.



Me and my hubby did not have sex for close to 3 months, because I had previous miscarriage.but I got ways to satisfy him

That’s why I’m saying she needs to communicate with him so he can understand, and she also needs to understand that he has a high libido, and use patience to deal with the situation. Her bleeding is not a life and death situation ahbeg, it’s actually very common in pregnancy all she needs is slight medical attention if she is worried, I’m sure it’s nothing to be worried about. If you call it suffering all because you’re putting your partners feelings into consideration, which should be done on both ends, then I don’t know ohhh... I guess we’re all entitled to our own opinion anyways.

Honeysweetest:
men craves sex all time,this is the reason we have many suffering women trying to risk their life just to satisfy them,I can't consider the feeling of such a man,love is all about sacrifice, tolerance,he saw his wife bleeding and he is still angry if she say no,haba!, I rather don't talk more

I know he is being a little bit insensitive but let’s also try to put his feelings into consideration too. Men and women are not the same, men crave sex all the time. I think it’s about communication and coming to an equilibrium where both parties can atleast be okay and happy. Let’s not say because we are pregnant that we must completely disregard our spouses feelings. I also feel like she needs to see a doctor as bleeding after sex could be a medical issue.

Honeysweetest:
lmaooo, u mean ur Heath is not ur first priority? should I call him insensitive? really I don't want to type all I have in mind,cus I might sound insulting, u better stand ur ground, wts the meaning of this crap��

Please rant oh. I like ranting it makes me feeling like I’m actually normal and I’m not going mad, something to relate to. Thanks lol

Aitee1:
I came here to rant but with the kind atmosphere here let me carry my package jeje

Health is wealth oh. Not just say because you’re a man you will allow yourself to get to that level of letting yourself go. All this meat, ponmo, pounded yam needs to be eaten moderately. Drinking excessively and not exercising is another problem. You don’t give birth to human beings, naturally as a man your body is not even supposed to hold too much body fat, yet you will see some men with huge stomachs. It doesn’t make sense to me.

Date a woman closer to your age. 25 and up and stop wasting your time.

English national anthem sung

Anthony for the wiiiinnnn

Looking forward to this fight

No it’s all about the natural elasticity of the woman. Some women are naturally wider than others. Some women are wider than those who have had multiple children. It all depends.

majamajic:
sister , I was thinking the more the babies , the wider


this should have been issue of first semester of the dating , how come it's coming last ?

I think , she lost the love for him thereby making her not to wet for him so it becomes painful , not about size !!!

If your joystick was too small now, you would not be asking us to give you advice, you’ll be hiding in shame. It’s now that it’s too big, you are looking for where to post your stupid story. Mr humble brag, go and sit down ahbeg. Better still go and present your prick on your doctors table, he will give you solution.

What do you mean doing absolutely nothing? This is the problem I have with a lot of men, totally disregarding the work it takes to be a full time stay at home mum. Who is going to cook? Who is going to clean? Who is going to pick the kids from school? Who is going to bath the children? Who is going to feed those kids, makes sure they do their homework and go to bed on time? What do you mean doing absolutely nothing? Even if there’s a houseboy/house girl, do you know the work that it takes to raise up a child? It takes a village to raise a child, even more strenuous than the so called job you are going to everyday. Fine, if you believe women should go out to work to make the mans job easier and more convenient, just please ensure the man is also doing the equal amounts of house chores and things around the house to keep the duties balanced. But when it comes to stay at home wives, do not discredit them.

MrBrownJay1:
in a proper society, possibly, but the family setup in Nigeria/Africa is bent from the get go, and can never find a balance. unless a wife is ready and willing to go to work as soon as kids are going to kindergarden, the family setup in Nigeria/Africa will always be unfair. you have two able-bodied adults here, but sadly one will be slaving away while the other would stay home for no damn reason, doing absolutely NOTHING (especially when housegirl/boy are around). i dont understand this mindset, but sadly it is perfectly normal in Nigerian/African society.

the important balance we really need to figure out IS: is it better to work 24/7 for your family so that down the line you wont even get the proper value/respect/love that you deserve?

let us all also remember....wifey stays home while daddy works all day, then he gets home, he is dead tired while mummy is fresh and ready/willing to do fun stuff.... so daddy and mummy are out of synch, and start to grow apart.

MrBrownJay1:
sista, we can only be honest on this issue in order to possibly have a chance to solve it... in Nigeria/Africa, a man is "solely" viewed as a breadwinner, the one that goes to work and slave away, while women are seen as the cook/cleaner and womb attendant. who are we kidding? so mummy stays home all day while daddy is no where to be found raising these kids, how can he be on the same level as mummy, regarding the bond she has with these kids?

you cant be absent in these kids life and expect to be viewed just as "gloriously" as the one who spends most of the time with them.



true but that aint "that" easy to achieve... it takes time and energy to put a biz on the right track so you dont have to be there physically... and unless daddy works from home, he cant possibly see his kids as often as he should.

nothing in life is easy. But in everything you must find a balance.

Or maybe daddy should work smarter and not harder, instead of slaving himself for a job that doesn’t belong to him.

MrBrownJay1:
i blame African society and mentality for that... how can a man have a decent r/ship with his kids when he has to slave away 24/7 while wifey is at home watching Telemundo and having a fantastic r/ship with the kids?!?!?!

as soon as kids are old enough (3yrs old), you BOTH need to work so that daddy can work less and spend MORE time with kids.

I used my case as an example as it related to topic. You’re the one deflecting as you seem excited and amused, trying so hard to deliberate on that one sentence when it was simply a reference. If you don’t want to be challenged on ignorant comments posted on nairaland, then don’t comment all. Simple as that.

crackhaus:
Abeg move from my front jor and stick your assessment of my argument in your savings account.
Just tell people what methods of contraception failed you, it could serve as a learning curve for some, but of course you're deflecting.

What exactly is supposed to be my business with what an olabrinks thinks about my argument?

Since that’s the only thing you got from everything I wrote, it’s clear that your argument is void and invalid. Two people lie down to have sex, there’s a possiblity that pregnancy will be formed by these two people. Whether the man decides to walk out and leave doesn’t negate the input he had in creating that child. If it’s up to the woman who decides to get herself pregnant or not, then please why can’t she get pregnant on her own? Why cant the egg fertilise without sperm? Contraception or not, sex= pregnancy. Your argument would’ve been better if you told women to abstain from sex, that is the only way she will have 100% responsibility and control over her body. That is the only preventative measure to ensure no pregnancy at all. It’s as simple as abc.

crackhaus:
Please expand on this, so the sexually active readers will know about these two methods of contraception that failed you, and then make sure to add at least two more methods to avoid a pregnancy.

Thank you in advance.

This is not about who is right or wrong, I’m simply correcting your statement that the responsibility of falling pregnant falls solely on the woman. Of course we know that the man can simply walk away if he wants, because biology doesn’t allow a man to carry the pregnancy. How can a woman leave her pregnancy, when she’s carrying it everywhere she goes? Biologically she’s unable to do that na, c’mon we are not kids here. This doesn’t negate the fact that both adults were equally responsible for producing that child during conception. And there’s nothing rare about getting pregnant with condoms, birth control pills, postinor or using all methods of contraception. My husband and I still got pregnant using two methods of contraception. Are we now going to say it’s solely my fault for getting pregnant, when both of us decided to lay down which we knew had consequences? and It happens on a daily basis. Like I said, man made products can not defeat nature. If you have sex, you can get pregnant no matter what. And that’s what I’m simply correcting you on. The only way a woman can prevent herself from getting pregnant wholeheartedly is by abstinence, and In that sense your argument would be more valid. You would be surprised how many women have gone through abortions, after failed methods of contraceptions. It’s more common that you think.

crackhaus:
Stay there and be trying to prove who is wrong and who is right when the reality is that millions of women all over the world have had to and still have to endure pregnancies that irresponsible men want nothing to do with. I've never heard or seen a situation where the man got pregnant and it was the woman who said she wants nothing to do with it.

Is this not enough to let anyone with common sense know that it is always the person with most to lose in any venture that is burdened with more responsibility to protect their interests?

Like I said, stay there and be trying to prove wrongness and rightness, espousing idealism, when the facts are clear for anyone with two eyes and a sweat gland to see.
Using rare minute cases of accidental pregnancies which get to full term despite observing all the known preventive measures, really does nothing to lift the overall burden of responsibility from women - at most, you have only pushed the responsibility to a higher power, the kind of power that made Virgin Mary conceive without even so much as kissing a man.
Miracle pregnancy.

You can use condoms, it will still tear, bam you are pregnant. Even if it doesn’t, there’s still a possibility of pregnancy.
You can be on birth control pills, you can still get pregnant
You can take the morning after pill aka postinor and still get pregnant. This is not the matter of allowing yourself to get pregnant or not, the truth is that biology will always take its place faster than man made products no matter what anybody does. The only way to ensure you will never get pregnant is abstinence, which 90% of young adults cannot do. So no, you’re wrong. Pregnancy is not strictly controlled by the woman. The man and the woman who lie down together are equally responsible for the reproduction of a child if they decide to have sex.

crackhaus:
I've never had whitlow before, but you can try summoning the spirit. I want to check something

On to seriousness anyway, Ishilove you can hyperventilate all you want, you can try to be as idealistic as much as you want, but at the end of the day, real people know exactly that when it comes to pregnancy, a grown woman who does not want to get pregnant WILL NOT get pregnant.
This one is not even about gender bias as I suppose you're assuming, it is about common sense.

If you Ishilove at your stage in life will allow any man you are not married to and don't want to get pregnant for, have sex with you without a condom, then my dear we suppose send you back to boarding school.
Even if for some reason, since we are being realistic here, you end up doing it without protection, and afterwards you continue asking and requesting confirmation from the man on the possibility that he released inside you, because you just don't know how to detect if sperm is inside you after a round of sex, then we suppose return you to nursery school.

Mums please can any one recommend something for extreme darkening of the face and neck? Mine is really really extreme, I’m starting to feel embarrassed of my natural face. My neighbor asked me yesterday if I’m having any medical issues in my pregnancy, and I know she asked because of my face. The weight gain is enough, i don’t want to be dealing with this other issue again.

You’re very right. The air in Nigeria has a funny smell on top of being very humid with no breeze. When you travel, you’ll realise how fresh the air is in other countries.

DonJayrome:
Probably your nose is well used to it. The first time I got back to Nigeria are years outside, I swear it was really stinking and I practically didn't want to say anything so people won't think am forming because I just returned from abroad. I held my breath like crazy until someone else behind me that we all came in same flight had to cry out about the smell and we all burst into laughter. My guy it stinks badly except it has changed very recently and I will find out soon when I arrive.

The problem is that he will not marry a 38 working class lady who has her shit together. He wants to marry a 23 year old working class lady who is independent at 40 years. How many of them dey naija? They say some women have unrealistic standards, I think some men really need a wake up call.

Mindfulness:
At 40 it should not be a problem to find such a lady.

No I think mentally the average 25 year old man is not ready for marriage responsibilities. Marriage is not a joke, I think 28 to early 30s is okay. By then, the brain is developed enough to undertake real adult decisions. But yeah, I’m really against late marriages. I know it’s not always avoidable, but if it can be avoided then try.

RisenPhoenix:
Even 36 is pushing it. 25-28 is just about ok. Anything less and a man is not financially or emotionally ready. Anything more and a man is getting too full of the single life and gradually developing 'marriage-destroying' habits that will be more and more difficult to stop the older he grows.