₦airaland Forum

Debosky, thanks for that input. It is impressive.

Earthmama,
unfortunately my letters don't start or end that way. Each time I read the one I had in my files, I just laugh. I didn't ask for sex. I was from home that won't allow that. And very religious when I was in secondary school. Well, let me give you an example. The letter I wrote on Val day had the story of st. valentine there. I wrote it as if I was there when Valentine was alive. I coloured it with admonitions comedy and of course, Love. I then narrated a typical scene when youths celebrate val with sex and ended up ruining their lives. It was like a novel.Somehow, there are funny things in the letters that made me keep some of them. Each time I read them, I wonder whether I was truly the authr.

Furthermore, I got "readers" because I choose my targets carefully. Often, they are the one who enjoy reading. And to be honest with you, most of them are not sent for love! Except two ladies, every other recipient were for friendship. And the two ladies that I asked for love actually gave positive fedback. But I ended the affair even before it started.

@karmabod,
Well, I am glad at my innocent. I would have ended the way of others who left tears behind them. I can say that I don't know why I put that clause in my letters. But it kept me chaste. I must confess, I was greedy sha. I wanted the best without giving "kobo"!

When you talk of date, I have never dated a lady in the way you guys talk of it. Maybe that is why at times I sound strange when it come to love. I don't believe in DATING even till now. Dating, as far as I am concerned is licence for sex. I make friends alot. And when I find someone who I like and want to marry, I'll approach her but with caution. I ended up finding more good people than I need. Now, I wish I have not been nice!

KarmaMod, good men will never lack women as long as they keep their head high. As long as they know where to be at the right time. And as long as they know what to say and how to say it without looking foolish. . .

@karmaMOD,
such marriage is not completely illegal if contracted. But, my intuition tell me that the guy would regret it if he go ahead. I don't know why, but it keep telling me that something is missing somewhere. That is why I said he'd better avoid it now. But if the two families give them the go ahead, why not? He should jump at the lady.

Another thing is that the guy said they kept the affair secret since 2005. It is not impossible. I have kept an affair secret for up to 2 years in the past. My question for him goes:

How secret is the affair? How old is the lady? Is the guy working or schooling? How will the two parents take it? What make him think the lady feel the same way as he? How do they communicate and how often? How many times did he see the lady between 2005 and last december? Is the lady ready to elope with him? What was her reaction to the opposition?

You see, he can't just plan alone in this kind of situation. No amount of tricks can help unless he carry the lady along.

I think a problem is brewing. It is better avoided than managed. A word is for the wise.

Seriously, you shouldn't be in that kind of relationship. Custom or no custom.

There are other reasons why it shouldn't be. But then, this is Africa. I don't know of any major tribe in Nigeria that can support that kind of relationship.

Please let go. Go find your wife elsewhere. Your brother's sister is too close for comfort.

The problem with okada must not be compare to smoking. We all know that okada has their good and ugly sides.

Most of the okada operators are driven by poverty to the job. My friend took a picture of 3 okada riders. One using "paint bucket" as crash helmet, the other using a plastic bowl, and the third, a lady putting the helmets on top of "Gele" the headgear!

Isn't that a mark of poverty?

Let us look at it another way. With companies retrenching staffs and some paying stipends as monthly salaries, is this the right condition to ban okada? No!

@H202, chamotex, earthmama,

I am serious! I enjoyed writing when I was in secondary school. Most of them are funny and of course with parables. At time, I will include stories in them. Often to demostrate why the lady should take me serious. Well, the next longest letter is 8 and half pages and that is still with me till date. I didn't mail it because something went wrong. The girl suddenly show up with my friend. To me that was the end of my several weeks of daydreaming. I never get to date any of the lady because I often add a clause to my proposal. The clause will state I am free to leave her when I am not happy with her. The few gals that overlooked the clause did not date me but we are best of friends till date.

The reason my letters were long is because I was a very, very shy boy. I will then pour out my heart on the papers, leaving nothing out. I will write the letter and then mail it, even though we live in the same area! Then I will expect the girl to write and mail again! I can remember one lady actually replied, but by then, I have gained admision. It was positive. And by the time I return home, I got a shock of my life. She's pregnant. "Wow," I exclaimed to myself, "she'd got pregnant even before she see me!". I quickly hurried back to school before someone put me in undeserved trouble.

The shortest love letter I wrote? That ended up on my English Teacher's table! I forgot to tear it from my notebook after it was written. She gave us assignment earlier that we should write to our sister living abroad. The letter earned me the 3rd highest marks and some strokes of cane! It was very, very embarasing. Luckily the teacher didn't report me to the principal.

She wonder how a shy unassuming young man could write love letters. I was at SSS 1 then.

I stopped writing long letters when I get to school. I devoted my time to Engineering. But still find time to write my friends and family. It was fun, all through.

@poster,
yours is the best input I have read on this subject.

The bad news is that, they don't enjoy listening to people who are not Chief or PhD holders! The tragedy of Nigerian policy makers is that they believe that only Doctorate holders have the best solution to the problem. That is why you get these kind of policies.

The main challenge as you have noted was How to ensure that banning okadas do not have negative ripple effects. Like it or not the govt can't please everyone. Most of the riders are using okada as second job. You can say 60% of them are! I use that stat because 3 out of 5 okada riders I know have another job, at hand just in case the okada is banned.

To solve that problem, the govt must ask "HOW DO WE GET HERE?" and convincingly answer the questions. By looking at the cause, they can then offer solutions. The truth is that, some criminals among the okadas would not like it.

The govt tried to ban Molue once and the failure lead to the establishment of BRT. I think with proper plan, okada can be made unattractive to commuters. And that plan must include solving the traffic problem in Lagos. Anything else without addressing the "go-slow" and bad roads will fail.

@david,

you are making me laugh so loud reading your junks. It now not about issues but "idiot", "fools" and what have you. And you think you are doing the right thing. I sincerely pray that someday, we will meet one on one. That is when I can realistically assess your mental state. I have discovered that some people just turn nl to their last resort when their sickness become intense. Debating or arguing with you on nl is useless because I doubt, from the manner you take delight in attacking your opponents, whether you are sane.

At Religion section, you are the same. Fortunately, it will be hard for you to classify me as either a muslim or xtain foundamentalist in real life.

Let me sum up everything about you. You are like a foolish child who have grown so wise that he decided to challenge every elder he come across. To show how wise he was, he started with his dad.

He challenged his father a race. Saying he can run faster. The father, indulging him, decided to make him by consenting to the race.

And when the race started, the young kid was ahead of his father while the old man simply reserve his energy and return to his seat. The foolish kid never even look back to see that he was running alone, until he reached the finishing lane. It was then that he discover he had achieved a pyrrhic victory.

People like you get crazier and happier when someone reply your insults with insults. The best way to handle such people is to ignore their foolish comments. Sure, you may have supporters. The majority of people who kept quiet are not ignorants of idiots. They are like the above old man who let you run yourself to deadend.

I have met people better than you when it come to this kind of issue. I don't consider you as worthy of my replies.

I will be surprise if you don't attack me again. If I or any of the people you have insulted, will insult, or are insulting keep quiet, it is not because they are defeated. Just remember the above parable.

More poison, please!!

@davidylan,
Thank you! I now understand why you may never know the true. David is right. Keep it up. Like I said, I won't return insult with you. It will simply mean I am glorifying your stupidity.

The only thing I can tell you is that your wisdom surpass non other than your wisdom!

Go in peace!

Love letters! I enjoyed writting them. Unfortunately as academics. The longest love letter I wrote was 10 paged higher education papar! It was on Val day.

The girl later wrote me she got headache by the time she finished reading it! He friends were asking who wrote a textbook to her. They enjoyed it but wished it were shorter.

Text message can't replace love letter because what you get are those recycled junks that are sold at 100 naira on the streets.

What I missed about love letters were those grammatical error that are more fun than the real messages.

@Hamas Chater,
When Ismail was elected PM, I remember he granted interview in which he made mentioned of the chater. He said it was not his to change. He was not the one that formed Hamas. Beside, at the time Hamas was formed, palestinians are under treat. I remeber I enjoyed reading the story of war from Egytians newspapers that were mailed to us at the time. I can't remember everything, but I can remember that the whole of Arabia were up in arm against Isreal and the West.

Hamas was not the cause of the problem. Therefore Hamas can NEVER be the solution. From the brief I got from my old man, the west regreted the war because they could have employ diplomacy when creating the state of Isreal. They bullied the palestinians because the later were weak.

After the Isreal Arab war, Isreal embarked on land grabing and building on occupied lands. The failure of the west to act at the time was now being felt. Davidylan obviously grew up in Isreal or Gaza, so he must have seen the occupied areas.

Apart from Hamas, there are other militants more dangerous, but with lesser support. I wish Davidylan could educate me more about their activities since he is the only one equiped with TRUTH.

Let me end this with Egypt. Egyptian president is a despot, a dictator who have used power machinery to perpetuate himself in power. Someday, the truth about his real motive will be open.

At a thread, Prof Davidylan the master historian tried to compare what is happening in Gaza to Sudan, Somalia. I just laughed because on that thread, I saw something about the way you try to evade facts and twist them.

You and I're neither in Gaza nor Isreal, whatever hypertension you give yourself over the matter will be in vain. Instead of attacking people that didn't agree with you, learn to speak up, articulate your points and go. You won't believe that you once attacked a man who is almost your dad's mate. I knew, I read the post and feel sorry for you. Annonymity is not an excuse to insult people

Superboi,
thank you for that observation. I believe that to understand what your opponent is saying, you must not sentimetalise issue. I quite understand your points. If ND militants attack a town the rule of engagement will be applied. I have a brief exposure to military life. If you fire at a soldier, he will kill you and site self-defence as his reason. No court in the land can accuse him of murder. If militant fire at PH for instance without any justification, the govt MUST strike back. That is the rule.

But in the case of palestinian, everyone know that they had been enduring seige for over a year. Hunger, starvation stare them in face. They were fighting on two fronts. At home, against their political rival that had been getting alot of arms from Isreal and US. Then the only way 2 the outside world was restricted.They can go out but cannot return home!That is provocation.No man can endure such. Whatever rocket Hamas is throwing were done out of desperation. D world community was aware and many spoke against it but Isreal refused to yeild. What is more, economic embargo were placed on Hamas and it supporters. The hardship alone could have kill many in their homes.

Secondly,Isreal had been in Gaza for years intimidating the recidence with state of the art weapons.Isn't that provocation? People that are already hungry and suffering. Like I said, what Isreal want is 4 them to quietly endure the pain even to death. And the world will blame Hamas!

Davidylan,
I never come to forum seeking respect from you. Pls keep it, I have enough in my community. If you derive joy in attacking everyone that does not agree with your disjointed ideas which are often culled from biased newspaper, then I am glad to be your next target. You will dissipate so much energy and end up frustrated 'cos you won't get an insultive reply from me.

My mentor was working on Palestinian crisis, a senior UN rep. I got my facts from him.Ok?Not from Ajegunle newspaper.I wish you lives in Gaza!

Superboi,
you made a serious mistake. Hamas care about the civilians otherwise, Hamas would have given up the struggle. Don't forget Hamas won the election.

Secondly, have you ever prayed that Ijaw youth fighting in Niger Delta be exterminated just because they are fighting a just cause? Hamas is fighting a just cause. Throwing Rockets is never the issues. Hamas was defending itself. For an entity to be under seige for 18 months is no small mean a feat. Believe me, Palestinians had shown restraint more than Isreal.

For those people blaming Hamas rockets for the war, I can't help but feel sorry. I am not surprised. Because in Nigeria, it is "suffering and smilings!". It is that silly ideology that is making many people to blame hamas for resisting the seige.

Isreal has no justification to attack hamas while blocking every points of access.

Hamas had been managing and overseeing the welfare of the Gazans while international community impose unjust saction.

My consolation is that in 20 years time, Isreal will be in crisis that may eventually consume it. That is a prophecy that will come to pass. The process had started!

B.O.S.S.
Happy new year to you too!

What is happening in Gaza had gone beyond parable. It is like someone said: a sheer madness.

Let look it with unbias mind. You sold your house. But some of your children stay behind. Those who stayed behind decided to adopt the way of new landlord. So much that you think they are actually the new landlord sons. Even though the land had been sold, the children that stayed behind enjoy peace with the new owner. They intermarried and mingled.

Those who sold their birthright out of disobedience prosper outside and then made friends. Until a crazy dictator from Germany unleshed terror upon them. I mean the vagabonds, who sold their lands.

After the holocaust, the vagabonds, under the protection of their superpower friends return home and decided to force the new land owners away from the land they have sold. The new land owners, together with their brothers (that didn't sell their land but had converted to new religion) fought the vagabonds. The result was that they were defeated. After the way, the vagabonds, not satisfied with the land the got began expansionism. They began systematic clensing of the people just to accomodate the increasing number of rogues migrating into the land in the name of judaism.

And the world gathered together to ban one party from buying arms while the other party get free supply of sophisticated weapons. This is unfair! It does not matter whether the oppressed are muslims or pagans. They are humans.

Can you imagine US blocking a resolution for ceasefire at UN? That show they are in support of the war.

The questions are:
1. Can Isreal achieve peace by destroying Hamas of exterminating the palestinians?
2. Will terrorists lay down their arms just because a group of unarmed civilians were pounded to surrender?

I weep each time I read of this great injustice. It is madness!

@chichris,
Isreal had tried to stop rockets attack before. They have even occupied the land for years. Did it stop the attack? It will a sheer delusion for Isreal to think it can stop the resistance without vacating the occupied land. There appeared to be increasing diversion from the real issue. The Palestinians want Isreal to leave their land, but Isreal want to stay and then negotiate. That is absurd.

I think the UN is to blame for placing arm embargo on Palestine. With force for force, fire for fire, Isreal will not have free incussion into palestinian land in the name of stopping rocket attack, it would have opted for diplomacy.

Isreal is making heroes out of Hamas. I don't imagine how exterminating Hamas will give Isreal the peace they have never enjoyed.

@davidylan,
I have followed some of your posts regarding Isreal, I am honestly confused each time you juxtapose facts with fallacies.

Let me ask you questions:
1. What is your own definition of Massacre?
2. Where did you get your fact that 98% of people killed are millitants?
3. What is your own definition of Militant?
4. Have you been in Isreal since the war started? How many times have you visited Gaza in the last 10 years?
5. How many muslim country have expelled Isreali's Diplomat since the recent conflict began?
6. Is Hugo a Muslim? Or is venezeula a muslim state?
6. How many Rabis have you interviewed to educate you about the diff btw Judaism and Zionism?
7. What do you have to say to the video posted by CNN that show that Isreal violated the ceasefire first?
8. Do you think christainity and Judaism are the same? If yes, why are they foundamentally different? Why didn't Jews believe in divinity of christ? Why?
9. Still more to come. Just don't reply them with sacarsm. I want to learn from you!

@topic,
it depends on your motive for joining and the kind of friends you have on your list. Some people go there to look at pictures. Some people use it to do business networking. Some exchange ideas. Some meet new people.

I think those who get addicted are kids who do not know how to manage their time. And those who have nothing else to do.

Those who get bored are those with penchant for glaring at pictures and do nothing else.

It depends on who you are!

I am shocked our ability to explain away serious issues. At least Ribadu was not found wanting in this kind of mess.

Waziri must be probed!

@poster,
I love that. Let wait for the critics to yell!

I have not been in this state before. So I don't know.

What I knew was that alot of guys tried to be somebody else when talking to a lady. They memorised what to say and how to say it. And when they get near the babe, they start reciting what they have crammed. When they run out of fuel, they go physical or close the meeting.

This strategy work when it is carefully crafted and when the partners are able to develop the conversation from the tail end of the memorised communication.

Unfortunately, so people learn by rote. Once they launch into the drama, they act everything out "as planned". Even the text messages some people send are the type that have been recycled through all the networks. They simply lack creativity and sense of initiative. Well, such people must complain of bored conversation and boredom when they run out of idea.

I don't have advice except that the poster should do self examination. He should think of what he has been discusing and, like a good guy said earlier, how often he communicate. He will find a clue.

There is however power in silence. Rudyard Kirpling said: "by your silence, you shall talk!"

Try it and see if it is true.

The best revenge in any relationship is to be better than the person who dumped you. And to hook up a better person than him or her.

There is no way the ex will not live in perpetual regret unless he or she is made of stone.

U should set the machinery in motion. For instance why do you gals nag? Why why sulks?

Wow! You are still on CLOSURE? I think the term is already settled or is there someone trying to learn the technique with view to break a heart somewhere?

@tobaaro,
where had olanajim and iice pounced on a weak poster? And what and how exactly have they hurt anyone?
What did you mean by lost intuition?

Like Georgia or Ukraine?

@poster,
What does education mean to you? Why did you wait for 3 years before you realise that she had no degree? It is a pity you gave him a false hope all these while. Now, another man is about to cry.

There is nothing wrong in your choosing a graduate. But there everything wrong in your dating him for 3 good years.

Well, you must have seen something in him that kept you this long even though you know his deficiency. What is/are that qualies?

You said something like as far as you are concern you like getting something like sex when you are in a relationship and that you consider you have lost since she didn't give you sex!

I think that statement gave you away since you have been frank to us as you love to be. Man, you also mentioned that when you looked at her picture from your friend's phone, what attracted you to her was HER TIT! Man, if you have been as frank and as straight to the girl as your post, then I can understand why she was not happy to accept you. It is obvious you want her for sex and no responsible lady that have just got out of a broken relationship will jump into a man who had made it clear what he want is to recoup his "investment" in kind or whatever.

I am glad she turned you down. Try find out what her last relationship look like and why it broke up. Then try and help her heal her wounded heart instead of nursing you own selfish desire. Finally, try to convince her that you are real and you will succeed in taking her away from her past. Money is not always the final decider.

Then you have not won her heart. Start all over!

It is well!

You get it right that her mother's experience can influence her decision. Any good mother who have passed through what her mother went through will definitely not be in support of a regenerated cycle of betrayal especially when it can be avoided.

Again, you mentioned that she is independent minded. That mean she may afterall not succumbed to her mother's opinion. But, don't ever be too sure! Circumstances differ, but we are all responsive to our emotions.

One thing I find encouraging is that she is not the type that detest long distance relationship. In other word, if she will break up from you, it won't be because of distance. IT WILL BE BECAUSE OF YOU OR THIRD PARTY. By third party, I mean her mother and public opinions. This also include the coming of a better man.

Now, you have two control over yourself. Will you live up to your promise? Will you remain true to your profession? Will you still love her and keep her love alive even when you are under temptation down there? All of these are what is are beyond your control. We know of people who are madly in-love they travel out only for them to start acting as a stranger after a year. So, only you and time will answer these questions. Nobody else can.

The second scenerio is outside your control. But through maintaining closer and more regular communication with your lady, you can convince her to wait for you. You just need to have faith and stay focus.

Of cours that does not mean you should go to sleep. Always be alert at any strange behaviour from her part so you can take care of it before it is too late.

My last point, if you know you will break her heart in future, please let her go now!

Seconded. But they need to address the issues of rivalry btw ICPC and EFCC also

I wonder where in hausaland was a 21 year old lady unripe to make a choice of husband. If she subscribe to polygamy that does not make her or her father stupid and idiotic.

It is time we recognize people's right to choose. Cultural and religious difference must never be our major reason to hate or denigrade others. Tolerance is the key to understand why some people make certain choices in their lives.

It is very possible that his study was done with intellectual prejudice.

He seem passionate about American disintegration and had been receiving airwave in Russia.

He so much believe in the prediction that he kept a map of four differen republics that will emerge after the apocalpse in his office.