₦airaland Forum

Victory time!

Meaning?

Not everyone.

What about it?

Ariblaze,
I miss you so dear. How is your wife doing?

My mirror is still shinning as ever. Email me please. My email is on my profile.

@earthmama,
what God saw are the truth in your post. No matter how many denial we read on it, the fact remain that they are true!

@karmaMOD,
are you also ruthless?

Hmmm!

God must have seen everything beforehand

Fashola as President of Nigeria? That is impossible as long as every right thinking man know that he is not a man of his own. At least, not 100%. El rufai did better than Fashola in term of infrastructural development.

What I keep saying and will continue to say is that: something must be wrong with the mentality of people who praise a "talking dog" to high heaven, while neglecting to even think of her trainner."

Fashola may not have achieve much without the efforts of all past governors of Lagos. During Lateef Jakande, he was compared to Awolowo. Some even gave him the title of "Baba Kekere.". He was praised to high heaven on account of ground breaking reforms he brought to lagos. The man is somewhere in lagos eating palp and bean cake now! No one even remember that he was supposed to be the next Awolowo again!

Marwa did his own "reform." And compared to other governors, he was outstanding. It was upon that credential that he opted to contest the last presidential election. Lagosians have forgoten how he helped fight the crimes etc. The only thing that refuse to go away is KEKE MARWA. Even with the Obj's renaming it as KEKE NAPEP, we still find the relics of his initiative but he is now history.

Tinubu carried on from where others have stopped and he also recorded his own achievements. So much that he was told to declare interest in the last presidential election.

And now, another man in the saddle, doing his works is being turned to a demi-god just because he builds on other people's achievements. I hope that one day, he will leave office and take stock. If the number of people he affected negatively outweight the number of people praising him, no matter what monument he left behind, he will forever to regret his tenure.

I am still studying him though. I have a feeling that he may outdo himself if he let praise singers block is sense of reasoning.

@poster,
telling her should not be a problem. Her reaction natural. Arrange a meeting with her and explain everthing as honest, and sincere as you can. You two can still be friend. The "tradition" did not forbid that.

She will over it. So will you.

A-town,
what had naivity got to do with enforcing law instead of dancing round the issue? If they want to ban okada, let them begin the process instead of all these shenanigan. You can not deny the fact that the real problem is not being addressed.

It is nairalove!

What is rafindadi?

@stilwater,
it is not too much. You know. As a Nigerian, I am very much aware of how things work here.

My point is, if government is serious about reducing acidents caused by okada, then it must tackle the problem headlong. What is going on is, as far as I am concerned, cosmetic approach.

There should be enforcement in all aspect (obeying traffic rules, limiting speed, checking the mental state of the okada riders, effective traffic control, providing viable alternative to okada etc ) and not just helmet wearing alone. It is after that that I can take them serious. . .

Helmet is good. At least everyone have supported it. But, helmet cannot solve the problem of broken limbs, violation of road traffic rules, reckless driving and armed robbery.

And these are the problem people have been mentioning so far. They are also what the govt keep talking about.

Even with free helmets for all, the problems will linger until they are addressed.

@poster,
Then with what you said, there is only ONE way you can find out the answer you seek. WAIT TILL HE RETURN TO NIGERIA AND THE TWO OF YOU MEET FACE 2 FACE.

That is the best I can tell you. Fortunately for you, he will be home soon.

That said. You said his father know you but you are not sure he know about your dating. And by what I read, you are not sure of so many thing. Your relation was less than 6 months before it the bad news. And to top it all, you have seen it coming in your dream. . .

I am not knowledgable but I can say that for the dream to come to pass, that dream need to be revised. There is an information for you that you must have ignored or you are ignoring.

When you had that dream, did the two of you eventually re-unite or not? What lead to the brk in your dream? Please try and replay it. A dream that come to pass always have some hidden messages.

Whatever the case maybe, prepare for two possible outcome. Win or Lose.

There are however way to handle this even when he is abroad.

I am not Ibo, so I don't know about their customs. But Imo and Anambra are almost like brothers.

You man still have feeling for you, but do not rule out the possibilities. By the way, I hope it is not too much for me to ask how old he is. If yes, please tell us.

Bronx dog,
using your own analogy. A bomb that had not been detonated and a mad passenger shooting while the plane is in the air. Which will you accord your priority?

Or let put it this way, a bomb that had not been detonated or the crazy guy who want to detonate it. Which do you think need urgent attention?

Where are the parents when the pregnancy was growing? Does it mean they were sleeping until it turns 7 months old?

Hey guys, enough of all these Helmet prevent acidents slogan. I think we are missing a point. The most important point to say.

I have seen dozen cases of okada acidents, I have witness alot of them just as I have personally been a victim years ago (though unhurt). Like everyone, I have read hundred of report of okada acidents in papers etc.

But in all these, I can tell you that I have not seen anyone suffered a broken skull so far. We heard of broken limbs, arms, etc but not broken head. I am not saying it doesn't happen, it is rare! At least in my area.

Now, if the govt enforce helmet to protect the skull which is understandably too delicate, can anyone tell me how Crash Helmet would reduce the incidence of broken limbs, arms and violation of road traffic rules? There lies our error.

My submision is that even if wearing of crash Helmet is strictly obeyed, it won't reduce okada acidents or stop armed robbers for using okada to rob! It is like wearing dark goggle to protect oneself from tear gas. Can it work?

The way out? Now I will let you trash that out. Thank you!

@poster,
one mistake in your post is to see fashola as the best governor Lagos have ever got. It is possible you are born in 80s. If that is so, then go read history.

Lagos have always been producing good governors all of who left their footprint in the sand of time.

Fashola is like a builder who was handed the task to complete a project that had been conceived and started by others. He have been given the plan. All he has to do is to complete it.

Lateef Jakande build the foundation of modern Lagos. Fashola is only building on that foundation. While the military plunged lagos into state of neglect, it was Bola Tinubu that re-start what Jakande left and began putting things on track. BRT, metroline were original conception of Lateef Jakande. But it was Tinubu that started the project. The Central Busines District plan had been laid and execution began During Tinubu. Road construction revolution was start when Rauf Aregbesola was the commisioner of works. Those of us who are observant know that Tinubu won accolade for that feat. Go to Alausa, and you will be informed better. Tinubu also up the IGR of lagos to this level when Obj withdrew Local govt allocation. He was slowed down as a result of FG witholding LG allocation.

My friend, if you want to praise a talking dog, you should remember to praise it trainer! Without Jakande, Tinubu having set the development plan in motion, Fashola would still be drafting plan for his projects by now.

Govt is not meant for an individual, it is a combination of effort of many people. Fashola have tried, and is trying. But the credit does not belong to him alone, it belong to every action governor that have contributed to Lagos dream.

Ironically, all these Lagos governors are not from ruling party. It thus put a question mark on the claim of some dimwit politicians who think electing the party that rule at the Federal level will help develop their states. We all know the outcome.

@shu,

so txt messages are true?

You have not seen someone in Ajegunle saying he is in Abuja? Truth indeed!

I don't like this idea of converting one's wife just for the sake of conversion. It does not always work that way. Not when she had her own personal conviction as strong as yours. Not when she is just doing it "for you."

Someone rightly said you should "give her reasons" why she should join your creed. While I subscrib to this thinking, I believe it is how you go about it that matter. Another thing to note is that you should let her make her choice. Don't force her to your thinking. For her to choose to date you is because she find something good about you. Let your character and personality be the great determinant that encourage her to probe into your faith.

You must nevertheless show respect to her faith too. It is the only way you can convince her to listen to your faith.

Regarding whether the marriage can work or not. It is YES an NO depending on how you handle the situations around religion.

@poster,
if the guy is from poor background or had financial difficulties at the time he was doing his MBA, then, I quite understand him. He might have suspended the programme to enable him tackle the issues. Maybe, in the course of his absence, he missed out his class. It is also possible that he feared that telling you he had suspended the course will make you end the affair. He must have found out that you will want nothing to do with anyone below masters.

I think you created the problem. By reading your post, I found you to be not just obsessed with higher degrees but also place premium on the Institution. I am sorry to say this. You see, by limiting your scope of choice (which has it advantage), you are also limiting your prospect of getting a sincere man. Sincerity has nothing to do with academic accomplishment. It also seems your mother is in support of your picking nothing below masters as a hubby.

The guy may not have lied to you! You will know this by demanding to see his admision letter. That is step one. If he can produce the admision letter or evident that he was once an MBA student, then he must have a reason, for the "GAP".

Your next step is to find out that reason. Tell him you will forgive him on the condition that he tell you nothing but truth. Also don't be confrontational. Be calm and listen to him.

It is from what he will tell you that you will have to base your final judgement.

If he is a good man as you said, if he a cool loving man, then find out why he lied to you and what his problem is. He may have to return to school anyway if that is what you will need. Then learn to forgive him.

One more word, it is wrong to divulge every confidential information about your relationship to your mother if she cannot be IMPARTIAL.

I think your story is a lesson to people that want to "marry degree" and not the "man". There is nothing wrong with it except that you will meet many impostors, liars who are ready to do anything to have you.

@poster,
if what you wrote up there are true, then to your question, I can say that he probably still love you. But your reaction is putting him off and you may soon part permanently.

Before telling you my bit, may I ask you: what was his own reaction when his dad told him to get a lady from their clan?

What tribe is he from?

Is the father aware of your relationship? What of your own parents, are they aware of it?

When he told you the bad news from his father, what was your first reaction? Is it, shock, joy, or indifference?

Is he dating another lady now or alone?

How long has the seperation taken place?

Are you living in same location before and after the break?

When you visit him, is it at his prompting or on your own?

Recall you said when he lost a file, what were you doing at his office/ home at that time? Were you invited, or you just went there?

Finally, did he show anything that suggested he would take you back if his father say YES?

Answer all the questions, and something would be clearer. It is difficult for someone who don't know you and is not a witness to what happen to give you good reply without asking some probing questions.

One thing I know from your story is that you still love him and you long to have him back. That is why you are still around him. But you are a liberal thinker who don't want a man to see you as being desperate. You have partialy resigned to losing him but still hope he come back. You also don't trust men easily. You believe it is hard to find good men. You x is a good man and you still trust him. If those deduction were right, then you must answer the above questions to make things easier for yourself.

@poster,
you are already on course. Don't spoil the good thing with the overexcitement. Let it grow on it own. Don't show deperation. Bear in mind that whatever will be yours, will be yours. Yet, little things like sending little gifts will tilt her attention to you. But everything depend on the lady.

To know what she is up to, try invite her out. Lunch together and have some memorable outing. If you play your part well and are honest with her, she will be the one that will be excited.

Golden rule: Don't be too fast, else you may stumble; Don't be too slow or else someone may overtake you. Do your homework well.

Lol

I don't think it can be generalised that it is human nature to love someone who does not love you. If that is so, why do we hate our enemies instead of loving them, even though scriptures told us to love our enemies?

Monica, what I think is that it is emotional blindness. Often, if you bother to look at it deeply, you will find that the person who loves someone that didn't reciprocate him/her would, have a reason (whether it is good or bad) for loving the stone-hearted fellow.

If the object of obsession is taken away, love will evaporate quickly. The object of obsession, can be: wealth, beauty, power, fame, etc. It could also be a result of fear. Fear of criticism, fear of not finding another partner, fear of being on the losing side. It can also be a result of cultural or religious prejudice.

Whatever it is, I don't think it is human nature to love those who don't love them. Humans are selfish by nature. They only venture into relationship when they know there is something in it for them.

If a lady stay in a relationship where her man is using her as a cushion or punch bag, it is not because she love him so deep, but because she know there is something in the relationship for her.

Aloy, earthmama,
I am neither interested in Karma nor anyone else. I was just quoting from the old note I get from my file ar you have asked me to. It wasn't refering to anyone.

To be honest, I am not given to writing romantic note, anymore. I don't need them. I have discovered that being romantic alone would not get you a good partner. It is the least important today.

Some men can't just stop playing mind game. Honestly, I am hearing that statement for the first time. It may mean something else to him. Why not ask him?

Aloy,
It is not possible for KarmaMOD to have strong desire for my unromantic post. There is nothing romantic about my posts. Just plain texts drawn out of my head.

@Earthmama,

true, the text message killed love letters. But there is still love letters through emails. Somehow, love emails seem not to have the same effect as love letters. What is more, email don't come with the usual "doxology" that we are used to see in love letters.

As for text messages, it is a quicker way to get one of two results: Rejection and Admiration. Real people don't just fall for text messages until they know the characters behind it.

Regarding your uncomplete love letter, let me cull from an old letter in my file.

DEAREST,
I WAS WALKING IN A VALLEY OF LOVE WHEN AN ANGEL LEAD ME TO BEHOLD AN ANGELIC CREATURE. AS I DREW NEARER, SHE SUDDENLY TRANSFORM TO YOUR IMAGE. . .

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ANYONE REJECTING SUGAR IN HER COFFEE? HAVE YOU EVER DREAM OF A PERFECT MAN WHO WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY FOR EVER? I AM THE SUGAR IN YOUR COFFEE, I AM SWEETER THAN THE SWEATEST HONEY! I AM THE ANGEL OF JOY DESTINED FOR YOU. HOW CAN YOU BE SO SURE WITHOUT HAVING A TASTE OF MY SWEATNESS? HOW CAN YOU BE HAPPY WITHOUT SAYING YES TO MY LETTER?

DEAREST, I KNOW YOU HAVE OTHER BOYS AROUND YOU, BUT THEY ARE ONLY AFTER YOUR BODY. I MAY BE SHY, GO AND FIND OUT ABOUT ME, I AM THE GOODEST BOY IN MY CLASS. . . Blah blah blah

PLEASE SAY YES TO ME AND LET ME PROCLAIM OUR LOVE ON KILIMANJARO SO THAT ANGELS WILL BLESS US, . .

YOURS AFFECTIONATELY,
signed.

Pls reply this letter and mail to me in two weeks time. I will pay your postal stamp for you.

PS. I culled that from a letter I wrote in JSS3.

In short, you made a formal proposal last December at xmas. Whatever that have been going on between 2005 and then were just emotional build up. Now, you are so sure that you are in love. The elders knew the two of you have something going on but didn't interfene until you started making it formal, . .

You see, from the way your parents raised "elders forum" to go and warn the lady's parent, it is clear that they will be ready to do anything it take to stop you. They are taking it very, very seriously. The time for you to stop the affair is now. That is if you want to remain a part of your family.

I tell you, it does not worth it. Let the lady go. You can still be friend with the lady.

But if you want to "test" you family resolve, you may go ahead with the love. I strongly advice that you leave the girl alone. You will get over the hurt, believe me, you won't die. And what is mord, you will find a better lady.

The moral of this is that if you must donate a vital part of your body to your lover, you should include disengagement clause like "if he or she mess up, you will have your body back"

It is unfortunate the woman didn't even think of the kidney before filing for divorce. She must have thought she can have it all in her own way.

Now, her new loverboy must demostrate his love by donating his own kidney. In fact, this is a blessing in disguise. She ought to have asked her new loverboy to help. And if the man refuses, she should know how much the ex mean to him, whatever their differences. If a man can't die for you, then he doesn't worth dying for.

I can see a general discordance as to what education mean. What does it mean to be educated?

Socrates said those who are educated are: "those who manage well the circumstances which they encounter day by day; those who can judge situations appropriately as the arise and rarely miss the suitable course of action. . .those who hold their pleasures always under control and are not unduly overcome by their misfortunes, bearing up under them bravely and in a manner worthy of our common nature. . . "

with above, when applied to okada situation, it is clear that Okada riders allow their misfortunes (poverty) to overide their common judgement (on safety of lives), therefore they are "certified ignoramuses" therefore they need education to understand that poverty must not be the excuse for risking their lives. Govt need to enlighten them the same way car drivers were enlightened about seat belt.

I remember when I was in primary school, there was a mass campaign against wearing "Agbada" while riding bike. I later find out the some people enjoyed wearing flowing Agbada while driving on the road. There were, I was told, several road mishaps as a result. With some paying with broken limb.

Yes, poverty is the major culprit, but how many people will drink acid if "pure water" were to be sold 50 naira per satchet?