₦airaland Forum

Any woman who says she is staying with an abusive cheating husband for her child is a liar. She is doing it for herself. A situation like that is worse for the child so you cannot say it is for the child. Their real fear is starting over again or as someone here put it "finding worse" if she leaves. That should be enough for anybody to know that she is doing it for herself. She wants to feel safe even at the cost of her dignity and the future of the innocent child. I wonder what a message a clearly resentful and bitter woman will send to a child that sees and understands clearly what is going on.

dayokanu:
Ronke its easy for you to say because you are not in that shoe.

How many times have you seen women whose husband are cheating but cant walk out or talk because they would say what do you want me to eat?

When you hold the key to someones "belly" you can do and undo without being challenged.

I know a guy, Whose wife is an housewife, the slightest argument, he changes the pin on the ATM and the woman would still have to come beg him.

I was with him one day that the wife was caliing him for $100 in the joint account to go see movies with her girlfriends and if you see the questioning on top ordinary $100. I just dey shake my head. BTW this wife is Akata not Naija whom we say want to stay married at all cost

I hope your friend knows that he is not the only one sleeping with his wife

She did not have a child for a married man. She had a child with a married man

When you did not actually work for the money you do stupid sh1t like this

Don't mind Dayokanu. He is a very wicked somebody

Your friend is 42 and is listening to a pastor friend. I wonder is listening to pastors is not part of the reason why she is 40 and not married

What CC and ifyalways said

Why are you even calling me Ma. Nonsense. I am a young girl of 33

I am glad you understand that it is addiction. You cannot pray it out of him. He has to make the decision to help himself. I feel he is too old for this sort of thing but then again I don't know much about gambling addictions

God bless you and your family. Keep supporting her through this journey.

Was the maltina drugged? I am not surewhat maltina has to do with her being wet

Are you not tired of people feeling sorry for yourself. You came here looking for pity. You should not be looking for pity. Your father has given up and you seem to be about to do the same do. Let your annoyance be used for something positive. You sound so "woe is me". That will not get you anywhere. What have you done to change the situation

Your family have already contributed to the problem. Why would you give a gambler money. They have now uselessed him and now trying to trick some poor ignorant woman into marrying him and possibly ruining her life. Keep giving him money. That should solve all his problems

My sister it's not only you. Maybe we are just getting old-er

Kobojunkie:
That there is one of the common lies people feed themselves. If you are marriage where you need to "loose" yourself so that your partner can be happy, you are not in a marriage but in a slave contract that will probably not end well for you and others involved.

I mean this is common sense. If you have to work with a bunch of people who expect you to be someone completely different from who you are, you will find yourself on the loosing end . . . used and later tossed.

Marriage has nothing to do with LOOSING your identity or suppressing self so that another can be happy. If your spouse (male or female) does not love you and your personality AS-IS, then you probably had no business marrying that person in the first place. However, if you are already married to someone who wants or needs you to shackle your being in order that he/she may be happy, then be prepared for the same to decide someday that that is no longer enough.

I have seen women becomes shadows of their former selves after marriage. Some loose the very things that made them strong individuals and become muppets in marriages that end up eating up much of whatever potential they had to be excellent human beings before it all. I am not saying do not marry but go in with your head intact and complete. Never let another human being, not even a spouse tell you that you can no longer be that person you know yourself to be( I am not referring to habits we pick up along the way or due to experiences, but to the individual beyond all that).

There are thousands of women and men out there today in marriages where they are being forced to compromise on basically everything they have stood against before getting hitched. Some are even being bullied into accepting infidelity as a part of their lot in life.

I'm a married woman and I approve this message

Fulton county is in Georgia. Unless of course there is also a Fulton county in California. She might own a home somewhere else but visits Georgia a lot. Probably why she rents there. It seems like the 370,000.00 also includes penalties from her refusal to pay or finish out the contract.

tpia I think it is more obvious in ghollywood because they actually do cast biracial people simply because they are biracial. I love my Ghana peeps but they tend to be be color struck. More so than other west africans I know

Same to you Ify. I agree. I love Dakore's hair. When I had a perm I always had my hair highlighted and if I ever decide to go with dreads it will be highlighted too

Same to you

ifyalways:
Its alot worse in Naija,trust me.

I know how hard I fought and all the problems i had back in the days at a nursing school and my only crime was cos i was spotting a clean locks.(not dada oh)

I also remember going out on a date with a compound fooool who at the end of the day,was giving me money to make my hair the next day,asking me if i was so broke i can't afford to make my hair.Jeez! I almost slapped the guy.People embarass you anuhow just cos u choose to stay natural.

Actually they are embarassing themselves and not you. Ignorance is a disease. I laughed when you said he gave you money cause he thought you were broke. Sorry o lol

What are your financial goals? Do you have a number you want to reach to feel comfortable about your future? What have you put in place to achieve that goal. I think if you try to think logically about it that it will help. Break down the problem. Figure out solutions. Write it down. Even if it is 20 pages long. Write it down then slowly break it down. I think if you have something to go back to to see if you are on track and staying on track you will be more confident.


There is nothing to fear but fear itself

The issue with hair and black people is just too complicated. It is not as simple as what the woman wants or even what men prefer. The issues are also different in different cultures. I can definitely relate to changing hairstyles depending on your audience. My hair usually is in a very curly fro-like hairstyle but if I am going to see a potential client especially if it is the first time I will wear my hair smaller. Part of it is that I don't want my hairstyle to be the focus of a meeting and the other is that I don't want them to make an ignorant assumption and screw up a deal.
With African Americans the whole 'good hair" thing drives me crazy and that started from back in the slave days. You had "good hair" and light skin you might get special priviledges from "master". In Nigeria it is just a mess. People just walk around wearing wigs backwards or sideways and think they are cute. As long as they have fake hair it is okay. It makes them look more American. There are Nigerian men that will look at woman like she is crazy if she even wears her natural hair. I would even go as far as to say that educated american men are more accepting of women wearing natural hair than educated nigerian men

Sounds like self defense. I hope they investigate it properly

This article makes a ton of sense to me. According to this article I am a textbook case introvert.

Separately they are odd. Together they are more odd

Aww that looks like Zoe Saldana. Bradley Cooper is cute but a little on the short side.

He is kissing like a 2 year old. The girl looks like she has a better handle on it. She will teach him