₦airaland Forum

I saw that the other day. Did not realize that those were his children. Why would he put his childrens pictures up. Please this man has mental problems

Nigeria is the perfect place for pedophilia to thrive. Most child molesters are not strangers that sneak in the middle of the night. They are uncles, older cousins, aunties, drivers, housemaids etc. People with free access to the children. couple that with cultural factors you can see why a child can get raped all the time and will nto even ever come forward. Most kids do not come out and say that they are being abused even in societies where they are encouraged to do so. In Nigeria where it is drummed into our heads that our elders are always right it is easier for the child to justify why she or he should not say a word

Slavery is alive and well in Nigeria

ifyalways:
Oh,the OP is out with the old lame excuse . . ."my mom does not like her".Did your mom just wake up or she like you,woke up and the love is lost what moonlight tales!

If some of us wants to pretend that we don't know that in "Nigeria and perharps Africa" in general it is out of place and NOT accepted for a woman to invest "financially in a relationship(not marriage) then theres nothing worth discussing.A woman who goes out of her way to do such keeps it closely guarded and stands the risk of being labelled as "desperate and buying love" as its already suggested in this thread.

Btw,i'm sure the girl was promised and assured marriage by the OP before she started investing.

7 years is a loooong time to live off someone,give her false hopes then come up with this poo story.OP,had it all planned out which to me is the height of wickedness.and he must be made to pay dearly.

Wow. So his mom does not like her. I think it is a good thing that this girl should just dump the whole family. Where there is life there is hope. Why would she want to marry into a family were the mother sat back and let her son spend a young womans money that assumed that he would marry her. Geez. Please abeg a broken engagement is better than a broken marriage. Where was the mothers dislike when this woman was spending her money on him

What is sad is that if they are in Nigeria the poor girl might have a hard time gettiing married. If she has helped him financially for 6 year it means sshe would propbably be at least 30 years old. You cannot force someone to marry you but the poster is an Aa.ss for what he has done to this woman. She could have got out a lot sooner but there are still those people who still believe that there are still good people out there and see only the best in people. Unfortunately this our sister is one of them and she is about to learn a painful lesson

You wouldn't even post this if your conscience was not judging you. Listen you seem to be heading for trouble. Get out now while you can

Nigeria is hopeless

Please what is your problem. Who pissed you off today?

What do you know about your father's finances? Why do you think that your PHD overseas is the financially smart thing for him to do at this point in his life? I think you need to snap out of this funk. You have many options available to you but you seem to want to use this excuse not to do better than you are doing now

The fact of the matter is that most times couple who live separate lives live in denial. I don't understandhow a woman and man can make a decision for the woman to live apartf from husband and children. I am racking my brains for justifiable reasons. I can't come up with anything. I don't know how this woman does not feel like she is a failure

What is your definition of stingy? I hear nigerian guys constantly talking about buying recharge card that it is embarassing as a woman to listen to that crap. So really I need to understand what you mean by stingy?

26 year old only child that is female and Nigerian to boot Finish your studies and get a job far far away somewhere like Alaska where they have to take 7 planes and 2 boats to get to you

Rest in Peace

Why is your husband being adamant about it. It is strange

I really feel we should have a section on nairaland for name and shame situations. EG hospitals. These people turning you away at the door have names. Write them down and bring them here and let people know. In the future when people want to get a review of doctors to avoid they can come on nairaland and read about it. The same for police officers. I am so sad about the young man that was just shot and killed by cursed police officers. He was someones brother and someone loved him. Only God knows if his family will even ever find out what happened to him. Nigeria is horrible.

START NAMING AND SHAMING THEM

We have had cases here where people have rushed people to the hospital. The next time you come on here to post this please have names and maybe even recorded refussal by these useless health care workers in our hospitals. Nothing will change until the people in Nigeria do something.

It's hard to understand what you wrote but I think you are saying that you have not actually received a positive test yet you want to sue someone for infecting you with the virus. Are you sure you are alright. It looks like you have already driven yourself crazy.

Really of everything she could contribute she chose the ring?

Has she taken him to the doctor? I really hope she has. it is not unusual for a baby to be born with a small degree of jaundice but she should be under a doctors care. Exposure to sun helps. Bottom line is see a doctor. Jaundice can lead to mental retardation besides a host of other things

All it takes is one rotten apple. I don't know about other countries but in the US there are Nigerians in most major cities that have made a very impressive name for themselves. You really cannot walk into a major hospital and not see quite a few Nigerian Medical Doctors. But the bad apples. Hmm. Those bad apples. The fact of the matter is that just because they leave home does not mean that they now become outstanding citizens. A thug in Nigeria will be a thug in Malaysia or the US. It is probably even worse here. I remember the minute I decided that I would stop telling my clients that I was Nigerian. I started saying that I was West African and if they pressed me I would say Nigeria. It just got to the point that I got tired of defending. When a client knows that I have access to their 6 million dollars and I know where they live, thier social security numbers etc I could sort of understand why they might be nervous seeing what they see on TV. True or not. There is no smoke without a fire

@ Prof_femi you are right. The thread was turning into a bash outstrip thread I certainly don't want to divert the thread.
@ jenny can you stop telling all my secrets on NR

Baawaa:
you hav points,but "from black pot comes white pap"

Hmm. Never heard this before but I like it. I will save it for future use

What level of education did you get to. Where did I say she was a bad parent. First of all you learn how to spell. Secondly comprehension is key. I said it was bad parenting. Did you also drop out of school and then paid for your certificate. Listen respect yourself and keep moving. sigh

Yield:
'Take a chill pill' = "Relax." Unless you literally want to take a chill pill. I mean, you do seem to need one :/. For real. And I can't make you do zilch. You yourself already said she isn't listening to you, so how is your perfect approach or advice-giving working? Besides, how do you expect her to listen to you when you're being condescending? Let me quote what you said to the OP, "I am sure she was the one who jumped to her son's defense. Now she is here again trying to clean up his mess. It looks like he takes after mom. They don't learn from their mistakes. Mom here is making sure that he also keeps that mentality up. You cannot teach someone something you do not know. She does not know and does not want to know." Don't you think that was too much for you to say?? You're not living with their family to know what goes on and how she has tried. I am not a mother, but I'm pretty sure every mother wants the best for their children and I'm sure she has been doing her best and trying, not just for this son, but her family as whole. If she didn't want to help her son, she wouldn't have made this thread. And she's here for advice because she thought there're rational people here who can offer her some views, in a tangible way, and address her like the human being she is. She has seven children and the older ones have all graduated. That's still a great accomplishment, so I say a big kudos to her as she must be doing something right after all. I imagine raising seven children can't be easy. The last thing she needs is someone chastising her or talking to her like she has failed as a mother. You go on threads acting like a know-it-all and your solutions are perfectly packaged. And not only that, you do it in such an insulting way that people cannot take you seriously. You can't be yelling at someone or speaking to them without courtesy and expect the discussion to move forward civilly. Then again, you yourself already said she isn't going to listen to you (and why would she?), so you already know your manner of communication isn't effective. Yet, you said, "I know she is not listening to me but I will write what I want because she needs to hear a second opinion?" How is she going to hear a second opinion when she is not going to listen to you?, as you state. You're contradicting yourself.

Yield can you follow something else. You are accusing me of not being in her family. Are you there yourself. Do you know anything else that she did not post. She has said that more than a few years ago her husband was worried. She has said that even though she knows that this man child lied and possibly stole from them she still wants to keep fixing things. I cannot tell her how to raise her man child. I did not carry him with her. All I know is what she has said and I responding to that information. Not what you or anyone here else wants to faniticize about including of course the poster. She did not come here to seek opinions she came here for people to tell her to keep up the "good work" I just did her a favor and quickly burst her bubble. I hope this man sorry child will work through his emotions on his own totally ignore mommy and make a point to fix the mess she helped him create. People are saying don't give up on him. I don't know when teaching your children consequences equals giving up on him. if it were a thread about beating a 9 year old for stealing a piece of meat from the pot half the crowd here will say beat him up so he will never forget. A grown man though should be cuddled so he does not get depressed. Three years of this charade and was even about to start imaginary youth service had he not been caught. SMH. Na una know. I don't have to have a 24 year old to know that she is a significant part of the problem. I was 24 once and so were many people I know who also had parents who set expectations for their children. I don't know in what fantasy land that things work out well when someone does not meet expectations and yet things still all fall into place. He should be apologizing not being on the defensive but who am I to say anything. I don't have a 24 year old child. Be more worried about what would posses him to keep this for so long and not even have a plan to fix it or let you know. It is not about mommy or even daddy. It is about him if they will let him be and let him fix it.