₦airaland Forum

Channels ! the Leo Messi of Nigerian TV stations !

Well deserved !!

I think both the wife in question and the OP are big time liars

maclatunji: I understand what you mean perfectly. There something called Role Set. This means I as an individual may have many roles- a son, husband, father, brother, boss, subordinate, teacher etc. The same thing applies to you and your spouse.

What your wife is experiencing is Role Strain. Performing the role of elder sister is putting a strain on her role as a wife thereby creating problems in her marriage.

If you the husband decide to put pressure on her over this matter, Role Conflict may occur. This means her role as elder sister has become antithetical to her role as your wife and she has to choose one.

I suggest that you don't allow this to happen. Support her and help relieve her burden not add to it.

You are right we singles should recognise these and other issues and figure out how to manage them before getting married.

classic !! (gives a mental doff of hat)

stillme: God's given wisdom is far better than wisdom acquired through books. Maclatunji, you are endow with wisdom to understand my question. It's absolute a waste of time going through the first above 3 comments. If they don't desist from their one way thinking they will live to regrets their lives.
What I posted up there,was just a question,it doesn't warrant abuse. Kobojunkie,sometimes I reason with your comments,but this time I believe your brain is on vacation. I have nothing to say to K2039 because he suffers from shallow thinking as a result of expired breast milk he was fed when he was a baby.

Classic !!! Stillme 3 v 1 Kobojunkie (abeg stillme next time you want to throw that kind of knock out jab, send him a PM first. This kain yab can totally disorganize one's day, even the entire week sef)

maclatunji: Me cutting my birthday cake at 1.

Really ? Do you remember cutting your birthday cake at 1 ? Wow that must have been some sort of record.

I still have pictures of my first birthday party but definitely can't remember a thing.

maclatunji: @Sienna, I burst out laughing at the "my son tried to kill me" part. As funny as a scene from a British sitcom.

I found that stuff real scary !! I can't even bring myself to read it one more time. The Dad must have been one finger snap away from death.

coogar: why would anyone want to stay in those camps for 3 weeks? my cousin told me he only had one small piece of mattress as bed and they were sleeping outside because of the heat.....i was like wow!!!

Not all camps are the same, the camp in keffi for instance is (still) in a superb state. And it can be one hell of fun - 3 weeks of just lazing about and socializing.


Though I'll admit some places are so bad it hurts to think about them, I remember having to place a request for a corp member some years back and decided to stroll around the camp a bit. What I saw still shocks me to this day. There was actually a large hall, converted to a hostel of sorts for corp members. The sad part was that this hall was shared by both male and female. I had never seen such in my entire life !!! This hall had no facilities, no bathroom, no toilet - none !!!

Yet there must have been up to 200 people in that place. Sleeping, waking, eating e.t.c.
Only a prison could have been worse.

Kobojunkie: Again, this topic is about Nigeria and stick to Nigerian matters you are educated on. If you want to discuss Cameroon, then leave it for another thread. I don't think Cameroonian men go around telling their women they are SHEPHERDs and the women are sheep. So again, stop the THROW-OTHERS-UNDER-THE-BUS-SO-AS-TO-SCORE-A-BROWNIE-POINT-OF-SOME-SORT line. Focus on the Nigeria. For the marriage traditions in Nigeria are not the same as those found in Cameroon, so I really see no reason why anyone would want to bring cameroon into this. Focus instead on where the SHEPHERDS who believe they have the power and authority to make things work don't seem to be doing a great job.

Take a deep breath . . . . . .now if you can, go back to the original post where I first made the reference to Cameroun, hopefully the context will make you understand why I brought it up

jidegirl12: Don't count on it cause some of you are drooling to know how I pulled it off....I ain't telling

I ain't coming back focus on the thread topic and leave me be.

I guess you've not considered that it could be a source of encouragement for some other folks ?

Anyway, just as you said, let's leave things as they are

tpia1: i find it extremely hard to believe a woman has absolutely no way of discouraging a lecturer or any other male, from coming on to her.

1. why is she hanging around friends who sleep with lecturers?

2. does she dress seductively

3. is it too much for her to make herself unattractive to these pursuers so she can get her degree in peace? Reduce your makeup, whine about money, do suku [or whatever reminds him of his grandma], etc etc.

4. is being pursued by males more important than herself and her husband having peace of mind?

Don't mind them, as if they were the only ones who went to school in Nigeria. As bad as things have become, the majority still pass through school without sorting or sleeping with lecturers !

jidegirl12: Ah ah very funny.....you are such a troublemaker, keep it up

Aunty I was asking some questions on the other thread, but its like you ran away. Curious about the reason why you changed faith/ and the reaction of your close friends and family . . . . . .

abeg when r u coming back ? ;

slimyem: Infact,i finished in the 70's.Just call me grandma slimyem.
....and what's with you and my real name nah...
Why have you made bandying it here an habit?

Is it because I have not yet called your surname ba ? just wait . . . . . .

Actually your name is a synonym for mine, both mean the same thing ( . . .am assuming your prefix is 'oluwa' anyway).


And by the way do you have a problem with your name ? Okay from now, maybe I should just call you Deborah or somethin

Kobojunkie: What happened to you waking up a bit earlier than you currently do so you can drop your kids off earlier, drop your wife off earlier and then have some more minutes to manuever traffic with? I don't see the sense in getting a second car when all you plan to do then is offload your responsibility onto your wife then, and in the process increase your carbon-footprint on the planet.
I also do not see the reason in your plan in getting a nanny . . . again with the offloading of responsibility to another. You should consider waking up early. You are an adult now . . . adults do things right, not look for ways to get others to take over their responsibilities.

best response so far

jidegirl12: Pak o! You are stressing me out seriously!

So you went through my posts? Ummm

Well I was born and raised as Moslem by Moslem parents and I changed during my university days and married a Christian


But I have a broad knowledge about Islam a lot, you know it's part of who I am and I can't fake it.

I'm still learning the bible still and getting the hang of it and living a good Christian life but the Quran I grew up with and I know very very well.

Now no more questions!

I didn't go through your posts per se. I also commented on the thread where you made the initial post and I don't forget things easily.

Anyway very interesting but the problem is I still have more questions .


Can I continue abeg ?

I interact with the world via questions, Its fascinating for me

What the heck ? NYSC in the 90's - guy was 'finding' admission then

Senior Aunties Jidegirl , GreatGod and Efemena - good bye

Exits thread in search of freshers. (Now where is slimyem ? abi you sef finish secondary school in the 80s ni ?)

maclatunji: You know I can't love you but you just ooze class, copy that.

People don't read much out of this section on Nairaland. My "youthfulness" is not a secret.

Why can't you love her any problem ? Am sure you should still fit into the half your age plus seven rule

maclatunji: It was in Lagos that a female married corp member was caught pants down with a male corper in broad daylight. Her husband was notified before she was kicked out of camp. This story is here on Nairaland.

Don't spoil Yemisi, She was actually in fellowship when all those were happening

Kobojunkie: Now don't you go judging all of Cameroon by the words of your ex-gal who probably lived all her life in one town/city and only left when she moved to Nigeria. This is a discussion about Nigeria . . . leave the throw-others-under-the-bus-so-you-can-pretend-it-is-all-good mentality at the door.

don't go there bros, I spent a couple of years in the North east, so I came across quite a handful of camerounian. One thing is certain, they are much more laid back than your average Nigerian. Generally speaking most francophone countries in Africa have a better (or is it wilder) attitude towards socials and seeking fun. They generally do not have this aggressive work till you drop attitude that you see around here.

bjcole: We r heard some much complains here, some women cant control themselves, some men dont ve morals, sleep wit anything in skirt be it goat or mammal. These is so much rampant in our society, church, school, government, workplace, everywhere, someone even said as far as Naija women r concern, trust only urself, so what is d solution? we r so much in d worship of God, i dnt know if there is any nation that worship God more than us or we r just bunch of hypocrites, lets not pretend, this is real, why?

Don't turn it into a Nigeria thingy. Its general, I once had a camerounian girlfriend (wonder where the heck she is right now) who told me how bad marital infidelity is in Cameroun. In her words, Nigerians were uptight when it came to Marriage.
She said social life/clubbing was a daily stuff that started sometimes around 4pm and it was not unusual to see married women coming to clubs alone !!!!!

Even my state cordinator back then use to regal those of us a bit close to his circle about the numerous excapades in Gambia where in his own words - sleeping with another man's wife was no big deal. Sometimes even the husband knew about it !!!
The only thing he pointed out was that over there, unlike in Nigeria, money was never the major motive.

So there, its not a Nigerian thingy, its just a worldwide moral decadence

oyinbogirl: Lying is not a christian trait... so I wouldnt marry someone i knew to be a liar. Simply cause you lose trust and cant belive anything they say. Saw this happen to a couple actually. Any thing the girl said was met with doubt....who wants to live doubting every single word? If you were already married, well you probly just bear with it and try and get help for your wife or husband, and talk to them of course.

*Kails*:
aside from the bolded

I agree with everything else you said. Why would someone want to be in a relationship with much less be around around someone they cannot trust?

@Kails - care to explain the bolded.


@Oyinbogirl - are you a christian girl ? You seem to be an expert on sex matters (Nothing bad in that though) am just trying to reconcile my two impressions of you .

maclatunji: You want me to spill more with this your doubt. Our Camp Commandant had 2 female corp members sleeping in his quarters- I am sure they were studying together- abi?

The parade ground was surrounded by Cassava farms owned by the natives, no fences. The place with no lighting was turned to meeting point for male and female corpers at night starting from around 6.45pm and was called "Cassava Hotel". Everyone knew about it- The Regiment Sergeant-Major addressed us after the endurance threk. He could barely speak English.

However, he did remember to say; you people have done very well, you are now free to go to "Cassava Hotel", come and see cheering from boys and even a considerable amount of females too.

lol @ cassava farm.

Anyway I remember during our first few days in camp that the State coordinator kept warning that there are snakes on the rocks surrounding our camp ground.

But really then, it wasn't that bad !

Maybe because it was before the smartphone era !!!!

Why is this happening in Ghana. Oh Ghana, Africa's pride !!

@Maclatunji, Bjcole, Greatgod e.t.c which country are you guys really talking about ?

Agreed where I served there was so much flirtation and all but free for all sex ? no bloody way.

Infact, in my hall where we had up to a hundred guys , there were just about three guys we knew who were hitting it regularly (and trust me word gets around easily), and those were couples who were in some kind of (psuedo) relationship.
Even one of my corner mates who was some don juan and very popular in camp admitted jokingly at some point that 'he was at the point of death cos since the two weeks he came to camp, he had not been able to get some' !

admittedly I did my service a little while back so that might just explain it.

jidegirl12: So in summary what I gathered from the 3 priest cos OMG !!! I've never talked for that long in my entire life

Moses ( one even said Jesus) allowed divorce because of the hardness( abuse) of someone's ( spouse's) heart and when there is no more softness ( remorseful/ change) to that heart.

I'm sorry but that's word for word

They quoted Matthew 19 and 1 Corinthians: 7( where Paul talked about divorce)

They all said NOBODY should stay in abusive marriage

jidegirl12: The driver was pissed and carried me cos my bum was very sore .... Alhaji will hear this, how could he do that to you! Pele pele! The driver asked me but I refused to say what happened , the driver told my dad bout it and Daddy called me to ask bout it and I lied.

@Jidegirl

Am sorry but am the observant and inquisitive kind of guy. Going thru the two posts above. Just wondering if you're a Christian or muslim or you changed religion along the way ?

jidegirl12: Sorry Pak I just modified the post

Thanks. You mean the driver didn't even know that it was the principal who beat you ??



and sorry to intrude, is there/what is the problem between you and blazay ? I mean the back and forth does not in anyway seem to be in line with anything discussed on this thread. i notiiced something similar and funny in another thread too.

Ivynwa: Some Lovers and married couples practice lil bit of m-asturbation to please each other s-exually-----I don't see anything wrong with spicing up things in your bedroom with your wife with a little bit of that but then with your perception of it you are better off doing stuffs (the main deed) with your wife now that you are married. It takes a more liberal person to want to introduce a lil bit of that inside the marriage. Too much of mast-urbation is what is medically deemed wrong as it can make a man be coming too fast.

Don't weigh yourself down with all those guilt, let go of the guilt. Breath in---exhale----begin to feel like you've been forgiven (lol) and live happily.

I''l forgive you for this since you're not a man . But in actual fact, mas.turbating aka self service ( according to seun osewa) too frequently desensitizes a man and can reduce the pleasure he gets from actual sex hence leading to the exact opposite of quick ejaculation - Prolonged (and often frustrating) ejaculation

@Blazay, I don't seem to get, how does your posts relate to the topic of this thread , even if remotely ?

Funny enough, I could not even make head or tail of even one sentence of the entire write up.

Can you please repost telling us of the earliest childhood experience you can remember ? this is what the thread is about.




@Jidegirl

I was trying to follow your story but got lost at the point where you kept using 'the man', as in there were three men in the story if I understand you, Your Principal, driver and pop. So its sometimes hard to know who you were referring to.

@Sienna, both your stories read like some scary horror movie. I had the chills reading them.

To think that in both cases, you were just a little step away from somethin really terrible happening.

dominique: Age3+ when we were still in daycare, me and my twin sis wandered off and we almost got to the busy first avenue traffic before we were caught. Chai come and see beating . My mum came and found us crying and she con beat her own join .
Also in same daycare, we used to torment the hell out of this boy till we got punished or beaten.(Sorry dude)
4+ our first day in nursery school. My dad dropped us off and we started crying and made him sit with us till at least breaktime. I would never forget the sight of him sitting in one of those small nursery chairs .
A lot of memories of bullying and being bullied, injuries, dangerous games etc. Wish I could go back to those days sometimes.

So funny, you and your twin must have been a handful !!!

and you started chasing boys age 3 !!!!!!!! you must be a hero, that must have been one hot dude.


btw, where did you grow up ?

O.T.I.S:
My xmas rubber wrist-watch with paper inside, half past 2 o'clock all the time.

How old were you then ?

Funny, I never had a 'dummy wristwatch'. My first wrist watch was age eight - all those cool 'swatch lookalike' digital watches, the strap changed color depending on its angle to sunrays

3. AGE 3 - Clearer memory, the day we relocated. I vaguely remember the big truck that packed our things and the way Jacob Otunla (wonder where he is now ?), our new neighbours son ran to meet us as if he had known us for ages.


4. AGE 4+ - This will go down as my earliest clear memory. I (and my brother) were about to go downstairs to play with our neighbours - The Ogundipes. When a TV station started showing the Nigeria vs Germany match at the Kodak U16 world cup, So we decided to wait - Eat your hearts out Premiership (Arsenal, MAN U, chelsea . . . ) fans, we've been rocking the game even before Ronaldo and Messi were born !.
Anyway, I remember Victor Igbinoba's goal - Okay, I didnt know he was Igbinoba back then, I just knew one of the black pixels on our black and white TV, rounded up too white pixels and shot the ball into the net.
The Nigerians jubilated so wildly , I had to ask my brother if they had already won the match. He responded by saying that Nigeria had already scored 10 goals and whichever team scored ten goals in a game wins !!! (fabu of the century)

1. AGE 2+ - The setting was in Akoka, lagos where we lived until I was 3. I Remember going with my elder sister to one of our neigbours who had a 'Colour TV and VCR' to watch Samson and Delilah. Remembered all the kids sitting on the rug but can't exactly recollect what Samson or Delilah looked lik !

2. AGE 2+ - Same Akoka, Remember elder siblings going to school and me playing around in the yard with other preschoolers (no creche in dem days). One of the kids didn't allow us to play with his toys and the rest of us broke out into the popular kiddie singalong - 'Mi o ba e shere mo ma gbe keke e lo'.
Must have been making such a ruckus, cos Mum had to come around wondering what was happening. She was in a towel about to take her bath then - aaah , those where the days when we didn't care about a thing,
just play, sleep, eat, pooh, play . . . . .

Been alone on an assignment for a while so I decided to do a bit of memory juggling this morning and came up with the four farthest impressions in my brain

Care to share your earliest memory on mother earth. ?



P.S. Am not sure if this is the right section for this, but its the closest I can think of

were ! No wonder she's waging war against you !

'I wish I can wish' she'll kill you.

You are a waste of space - am laughing so so hard - You must be a really lunatic attention seeker !!