₦airaland Forum

debrief08: Pak, Thank You for the correction.
Noted. Didn't mean it in that context though but your observation is noted and appreciated. I didn't take into account the group you highlighted

You're welcome. Thanks too.

Congrats again on ur promotion.
Hoping to share my own testimony of promotion too (albeit in a different form). As they say in pentecostal parlance 'I tap into your anointing'

this is just one of those threads that makes you understand why
there are so many attacks and counter attacks in the family section.

Someone started a thread to express his opinion and even though we (including me) have issues
with the some of the points he was making, does that really warrant an all out attack by nairaland's resident 'feminists'.
If you dont't like his points - give yours or better still open a thread that reads 'Ways to make your wife happy'. The repeated attempt at subjugating other views is disturbing.

stillwater: Men are babies, men are toys, if I were a man I'd be embarrassed to be qualified as such.

Women are also babies.

Have you ever heard of the word context ??
If you don't have a chip on your shoulder not everything will offend you and you are likely to see things with a more positive outlook.

debrief08: Thank God I don't have to "make" my husband think of me, He is capable of doing that all by himself.
I don't know if any human should or even want to "make" anyone else do something. We spend time building our lives and family together as a unit not in "making" any of us do anything.

hmmm sis, I dont agree, the major essence of the thread is about "ways to make you husband happy". Even if some of his points are off centre. Making each other happy (and have good thoughts about one another) in marriage is still a very valid issue.
It's not a gender competition, Wives ought to do their best to make their husband's happy, ditto for the husband.
What happened to 'trying your best to make a marriage work, even if things are not going rosy' ?
I imagine a young person reading these threads and the impression is always that - In marraige 'Just live your life, if it will work, fine. If not, there is nothing you can do about it. One 'red flag' (to use your phrase) and everyone is screaming murder. I don't agree - I dont think any marriage can work without a lot of compromise and concession.


@ileobatojo

Its leopard and spots, isn't it.
You have taken it upon yourself to ensure you attack anybody whose opinion does not fit your feminist ideologies, with sarcasm and all ?
Jidegirl has always been a moderate on this forum. I don't see anything she wrote up there that warrants all these back and forth. Its her opinion for crying out loud.

tetemu: good pastors don't have girlfriends.

na wa for you bros/sis/whatever.

If Pastor no get girlfriend, how pastor go take marry now ?

abi you be catholic ?

tetemu: Congrats debrief, I like ur method of thanksgiving, showing love to nairalanders instead of [b]buying goat for a pastor [/b]who will later give d goat to his girlfriend. Lol

You speaking to me ??
Touch not my anointed tetemu, touch not my anointed !!

and by the way is an unmarried Pastor not permitted to have a girlfriend ? na was for you .


. . . . @OP, the goat idea won't be bad though

congrats debrief.

More to come I believe.



. . . most importantly at the end of the month, don't forget we pastors on Nairaland, who have been interceding on your behalf. Your tithe is very important for the ministry.

coogar: the soldiers took off their uniform, wore mufti and robbed the corp members......look no further than the soldiers guarding the camps! i don't think any armed robber would wish death upon himself to go into a camp manned by trigger-happy soldiers!

this is an inside job!

great thinking coogar, simply great.


It seems soldiers this days are more adept at flogging females out of hostels within a short notice than protecting them

ATMC: d basis of attraction in a marriage is what will determine its longevity u know...so if two people are attracted to each other, they are d only ones dt know d exact thing dt struck their fancy! And dt becomes their base/foundation, so if it be not strong, then when d wind of life blows, it shall surely fall and with its fall comes abuse of all kinds, methinks... going by ur example, maybe d basis of their attraction was right but people around didn't think so...hence d 'lastingness'

aaaah 'ATM Chick',
You indeed are like Peter - You call Jesus the Son of God in one moment, the next moment you make a statement that calls for censure

Attraction is ephemeral, any marriage built on attraction (alone) will surely crash in a short time.

I don't know if you'r married ?? but I think a union should be built on much sterner stuff than that.


Come to think of it, How attracted were our parents to each other when they got married ? and how come their marriages lasted better and we heard less gory stories from their generation.

Love (me thinks, I am not a counselor) is more of a decision than a feeling.

and you talked about abuse . . . . Abuse has less to do with love or no love. It'ss more of a product of deficiency in character and a broken value system. When you meet a 'something wrong in the head' kind of man/woman, He/she will abuse you whether they love you or not.


Let me leave you with two thoughts

1. The nugget from the '80 year marriage' woman - "Get along. Compromise. Live within your means and be content,"

2. The fact that we (you and I) don't even agree on what constitutes wrong foundation shows that generalizing on what should be done to marriages with a 'wrong foundation' is wrong. Regardless, I think couples should just try their best to make their marriages work, however they find themselves in it. There are no hard and fast rules. Every situation should be treated based om its own merit.

This is what the egg heads in lagos should have considered

Rather than frustrating young people when employment rates is at its lowest and traffic congestion is at its worst.

Regulation rather than an outright ban





The major problem attributable to the use of commercial motorcycle is the security lapse it engenders. It's very easy to commit crime with a motor cycle. That's why I support its ban in some states (especially the north).


but all in all you have to consider that generally road networks in Nigeria are so poor and . . . .

has any body ever connected the increase in demand for PMS to the ban on okada. It is a far cheaper alternative for the citizenry and even the nation

debrief08: My Dear, I saw your thread but resisted the urge to comment because it is a great thread and I don't want it turned to something else.
Don't you know that as soon as Debrief, Jenny and Madam CC comment even without mentioning Divorce, Cabal hunters pounce and make a once great post to become cabal and anti cabal debate.
As I said I have found no Biblical basis for the vow, it is something the church introduced, I found no basis for the "till death do you part" part of the vows, mostly just traditional, howver does that mean people should marry and divorce at will? No, that was what Jesus and even God frowned at, Men of Isear marry and divorce as soon as they saw someonw else or were tired of their spouses. It was based on that Jesus said don't divore except there is a clear case of adultery.
True people will abuse provisions but it is not the will of God for anyone to be a dead spouse than a surviving Divorce.

I am not the most religious of fellows but I'll advise that if you are to make references to a religion then you can as well do so accurately.
It is clearly implied in the Bible that the original intention of marriage was supposed to be a 'till death do us part' thing.

You can read up Matt 19 v4-8 and
Rom 7 v2,3 - For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. . . .

That should be enough basis


That said however, I believe like every other law in the Bible there are circumstances that can make it difficult for adherents to fulfill such injunctions. even the bible gave a number of such instances (1 cor 7 et al)

Ogidi-Olu:
If u still have money to buy bread, i swear u neva broke. I remember back then in boarding school, na hungry guys u go see under tree dey pluck fruit. If dem don chop d fruit finish, dem go come dey break am to chop d nuts wey dey inside . #nostalgicmoments.

bros, you're so funny

ATMC: Vows are cultural. If you say vows are religious, i might as well remind you dt religion is a form of culture. .. . .

I am giving you a mental round of applause for this statement. You actually don't know how brilliant this assertion is but surely one of the most impressive sentences I've read in my long years on NL.
Infact, let me stretch it a bit . . . that's one of the truest statements since Peter called Jesus the Son of God.
The first time I heard this was from a very intellectual and kinda spiritual 'somebody', you'r the second. BRILLIANT !!!

ATMC: Moreover, vow like i said before has no standard in relation to what is being said, now not in how long d union is to last. If a marriage is wrong from d begining then d two might as well separate after it dawns on them.

not necessarily, not neccessarily there are can be so many scenarios that might have a lot of different ways of resolving them. And by the way, is there a yardstick for determining wrong and right beginnings for marriage ?? (Note: the couple that just celebrated 80 yrs of marriage got hooked when they were 17 and 21 respectively, they ran away from home to stay together - in this age that would be seen as a foolish decision based on infatuation by immature young ppl a.k.a. wrong foundation but guess what ? they lasted 80 years)

ATMC: its better to remain single and be fulfilled than to be trapped in a marriage dt is not contributing towards ur living a fulfilled life. Its a pity some people are ruined by marriage.

I concur

obongtunji: But come to think of it,the school authorities asked the students to vacate their hostels after the closure of the institution, what are they still doing in their hostels. Why is it that we don't like following Orders until we are forced? If they had vacated, there wouldn't have been need to bring solders to force them out. For me, I don't have issue with what the solders did. Let us learn to respect authorities. You can not rule if you don't follow rules...........lop

otokx: good question

You sound like barbarians.


The school authority announced on Tuesday that students should vacate hostels before 6:00am on Wednesday morning.
I guess you did not think that it is actually not feasible for ALL students to have the means of leaving the hostel within a couple of hours. Is it not just rational to expect that within that short period some might have challenges financially, healthwise, some might not even have been around at that time (hence the need to come back for the load).

And even if the student refused to leave the hostel within the stipulated time. Does it sound rational and proper in your estimation that soldiers be sent to FLOG female students out of campus some few hours after the deadline expired.
(Maybe you might even be happier if the soldiers had shot them down, since they didn't 'learn to follow rules' . smh)

Are they BOKO Haram ?
Are they Militants ?
Are they involved Guerilla warfare or something

If this story is true and accurate then I consider it as another example of how barbaric and senseless we can be as a people and I suggest that those involved in this dastardly act (VC et al) should be made to face the music

baby_123: As long as you marry a wise woman, with good judgment then you don't have to "allow" or "not allow" anything. But if you know you married someone that is gullible and too trusting, then yes, if you are uncomfortable for reasonable reasons you both can talk about it. Trust me, women know their friends very well, and a wise one will walk away from a dangerous friend. I have friends across the board of relationships, and won't hesitate to drop the one that wants to actively be involved in my relationship, give me obviously bad advice or wants to get too close to my man. He has his friends, and I have mine. Let's keep it that way.

You are a wise woman !

strangest: You can still add to the article and educate us..

Been out of Lagos for a while now but I used to know that almost all the major bus stops in lagos were dangerous.

From Oshodi to mushin , Egbeda, Ikeja, Anthony, Isolo, Cele. It was criminality galore. 13 doesn't just cut it.


Even the berger he mentioned, there is an arguably more dangerous 'under bridge' area on the way to Ikeja from Berger (if you are passing thru the express, not agidingbi) . it sorts of lead to some estate which I can remember its name now. That place was somethin else. it was as though thieves rented apartments there.

@Virgo


as per the authentication issue, am talking bout the blog hosting this article.
When I open it on ma mozilla browser, keeps askin for username and password.


Nice article though.



As per Sarah Jibril . . . . .
that has nothing to do with womanhood, her campaign was a big joke.

Why should anyone vote for a poor candidate to be president of our country just because she's a woman.

I agree with the article but that example doesn't represent.

Maxymilliano: How come most of the bus stops mentioned here lie around Ajegunle - Mile 2 - Badagry express road? What happens to some of the other bus stops in the mainland?

noticed that too.

Good article but not comprehensive enough

The ever wonderful virgo . . . .


How come your site is bringing up authentication dialog box ? something wrong ?

Am not sure this post specifically address the issues raised in this thread.

But on a personal level, I speak in tongues when I want to pray and I can't seem to get the words in any of the natural languages I understand to express the thoughts that are deep in my inside.

Truth is prayer (for those that believe in God) is spiritual communication and it will be absurd to think that natural languages will suffice to express all we want to share with God. Hence the need to speak in a language where 'deep calls unto deep'.


In moments of anxiety or great pressure, excitement (there is a word for it - ineffable) the best I can do is just to flow in tongues. Especially in times when for reasons I can't mentally focus on the prayers. I open my inside (and tongue) and allow my spirit do it for me.

If they say Nigerian youths are lazy, you'll start to argue

Will giving a monthly allowance increase productivity/production ?

will it ensure good roads or quality education ?

Will it increase available accommodation or employment ?



Am not an economist but basic law points to more resources running after limited supply leading to more inflation.


What the average Nigerian needs is an opportunity for gainful employment and the chance to make something meaningful out of life.


if you are talking about sustenance for the elderly and less fortunate like the mentally/physically challenged then maybe I might agree

greatgod2012: i dont get ur analysis here, what is my problem with whom my hubby relates with as a friend,so far hes wise,nice, of good character and i know my hubby is wise and intelligent enough to know who to choose as friend, questioning his choice of friends means i dont trust his discretion, means im saying hes not intelligent enough to choose his friends wisely.
I prefer to have a divorced woman, but wise and God-fearing than a married but foolish and cunny and fetish as a friend.

One funny thing I've noticed about a lot of people is their polar impressions of people's character. The He/She is either a 'bad man/woman' or a good 'man/woman' mindset.

The human mind is a wonderful tool. Nobody's perfect and I guess part of what marriage wonderful is the ability to watch each other's back. I definitely will trust my wife but I won't assume she's perfect.

At the risk of sounding churchy, the good book consistently warns about the importance of right association, its not just empty warnings .One such says - 'Guide your heart with all diligence, for out of it flows the issues of life'.

Well, the word 'allow' might sound too strong a phrase, but I opine that not all relationships should be happily indulged despite the fact that you trust your partner and he/she is very intelligent. Funny things do happen and I know you're not a baby.

In this particular case, no need for long stories - It depends on the circumstance surrounding the divorce

StateOfMind: What kind of analogy is this?

Re-read what she typed and come up with something better.

I don't seem to understand some nairaland men..judging from most of the replies here, they all think a divorced woman is a bad woman who'll also be a bad company.. *phew* smh.

To clear all misconception, I do not think all divorced women are bad. There are a million and one reasons people get divorced. Sometimes its the woman's fault, some times the man and most times both.

I raised the analogy because of the bolded part below which seems to be an unnecessary generalization. There are indeed times when it is valid to be concerned about the kind of company ones spouse keeps. The human mind is a very malleable tool.
The first part of her post says it all - "It depends on d cause of d divorce" (and probably the kind of friendship they intend to keep, business relationship, acquaintance, close confidant e.t.c.) but the other portions of her post fall short. There is this saying that you can't give what you don't have.

greatgod2012: It depends on d cause of d divorce. Meanwhile, if u are fearing dt ur spouse may be corrupted by his/her divorced friend, then, ur problems are either one or more of d following:
1. U dont trust ur partner's discretion.
2. U are insecure concerning ur spouse.
3. U are sentimental.
4. U are afraid of what may not happen, because u are not even sure of either ur love 4 ur spouse and also ur spouse love 4 u.
5 u are selfish, u dont respect d right of ur spouse, d right of association.

9jagobetta: Knowing the true reason of her divorce is important, if it sensible i will alow my wife to be one of her fans and helpers because she will realy need every help she can get, poor woman she might even end up with the children been dumped with her. Women should learn to marry legaly so that they can alway seek a judicial support at every time of abuse in their mariage.

Nice one, you have just brought up another angle to the whole issue that most of us never really considered.

kudos

webdezzi: I have no doubt, Acidtalk is gifted.
i dont buy the i know 186 celebs thing. he knows what i mean.


I like how you using the gift to entertain us.

I always felt IT people/programmers are the most perceptive and discerning peeps in the world.
You just reinforced the view

greatgod2012: It depends on d cause of d divorce. Meanwhile, if u are fearing dt ur spouse may be corrupted by his/her divorced friend, then, ur problems are either one or more of d following:
1. U dont trust ur partner's discretion.
2. U are insecure concerning ur spouse.
3. U are sentimental.
4. U are afraid of what may not happen, because u are not even sure of either ur love 4 ur spouse and also ur spouse love 4 u.
5 u are selfish, u dont respect d right of ur spouse, d right of association.

Sis, please, please let's have a bit of balance here. Yur first line has said everything right but am not so sure of the other parts of your post.

How will you feel if you notice your Husbands new best friend and social companion is the local Philandering champion, the married man who chases anything in skirts ? ?

A stitch in time saves nine

Clemzy16: It depends on the circumstances surrounding her divorce.

This is the most balanced of all answers.
If we close this thread at this stage, justice would have been done

FOR TEENAGERS AND YOUTH OF TODAY

acidtalk: Your uncle is so correct. Though truth hurst but he is stating the obvious.
You don't need to go too far to see the truth. Just take a look around nairaland to confirm is judgement.

Even so many people who complain of unemplyment today, are they really employable? Just take a view at the thread below

Graduates Fail PRIMARY SCHOOL Questions. At Job Interview

https://www.nairaland.com/1003181/graduates-fail-primary-school-questions

Am in agreement with this post sir.

Materialism and laziness have eaten up this generation with just few exception.

Its not a Nigerian thin, its a global phenomenon . That's why I have fears for the so called western super powers,
Their coming generation might not have the character and attitude to sustain the leadership position they've held for so long.




Now this is the acidtalk I used to know.
Am sure you allowed someone to steal your password yesternight and post in your stead
welcome back !!!

yup

luluosas: I don't understand what you mean by the bolded. So, is it possible for us to me?

Yup, am still there. Hope to be around till sometimes next week.


The bolded ? double connotations - but mostly in terms of being social, as in the lifestyle is not as restrictive as that of most private unis down south.

acidtalk: I am their native doctor.

See the mumu question this kid is asking? See son, that some of you only see these people of tv or at the closest at shows doesn't mean there aren't some of us who just consider them as normal people.

My phone rings more than most of these so called celebs. Most times they get calls only from female fans they have never met but who one way or the other got their number.

To you these guys might be semigods but to some other people, they are just regular people.

GUY !!!!!!
and yet there is no iota of boastfulness or arrogance in your posts ?

Really this seems not to be consistent with the acidtalk I seem to know on NL.

You had one drink too many tonite bro ?

acidtalk: Oga pray NEVER to be caught around those who are envious of you, they will do just anything to tarnish your image and bring you down.

Go through my threads (167) or so of them and please come back to tell me if there's an iota of boastfulness or arrogance in my threads.

Sir, I bring out threads way beyond the normal. From Romance, Career, Business and others. I try not to bring up childish and regular stories, rather I bring my personal real life experience as topics and instead of people to appreciate it, some just decided to be envious because they think I am crippling their personality on this forum.

I intended to bring more gist on this topic, but see as they have tried to derail it like they always do.

Over the years I have the chance to work, socialize and be close friends with a whole lot of Nigerian celebrities from all sectors of the Entertainment Business. Be it Actors and Actresses, Musicians, Producers, DJs, Comedians, Fashion Designers, Producers and Directors, Models, Photographers, Writers and even Dancers.

When I am talking of celebrities, I am refering to the "A Class" who is who in their respective fields. As I am currently typing this, I can count nothing less than 186 of them I have on my BlackBerry contact and get to see at least 5 each week on a crucial business or social discussion as it maybe.

No need to go thru 167 thread bro. Just look at the first paragraph of this present one.
Was quite surprised after reading the first lines and discovered it was you. Always associated the handle with more balanced postings.
anyway , I always confuse acidtalk and acidoses, so maybe that explains it - or are you both

@Slimyem
Why don't just leave these guys to enjoy their superstories

Freiburger and PapaBrowne,

I don't know if you've been in the country for a while but you have to understand the peculiarity of this jungle we call Nigeria.

First off, I do not in anyway support jungle justice - its absolutely barbaric

but you have to understand that the average nigerian has been cudgeled into that line of thinking by so many incidences, the inadequacies and complicity of our security operatives. Most in Nigeria feel they do not have options hence they opt for what seems to be the fairest of a bad bunch of alternatives. Conscience has been seared long ago.


When the average mob apprehends a robbery suspects. The line of thinking is this - what are our options ?

1. Hand them over to the police
Con - most likely from whence they came and got their weapons in the first place. And most 'armed robbers' operate as syndicate. The likely hood of a well connected godfather securing their release is high. So if they are eventually set free by the police, what do you think will happen to those that caught them in the first place ?? Your guess is as good as mine.

2. Beat them thoroughly and let them go
con - last line of the last paragraph applies. when the wound heals, what happens to the beaters.

3. Just look away - the maddest of all the alternatives

So what's left ? Kill them


Jungle justice has dire consequences in any society (the possibility of killing the innocent) but when citizens are no longer left with an alternative then . . . . .