₦airaland Forum

*Politeness*
I think UN headquarters is in NYC

lordnkem000:
I don't mind at all & there's nothing wrong or bad in calling my luv, it's an innocent endearment. Very humorous of you. I am glad those quotations aren't from you because i fidgeted at first when i saw it & had images of you in my head but I was happy to indulge you too.
I can understand your personal reasons but there are exceptions to every rules atimes and this is one i don't want to miss, so i crave and humor you to reconsider, I encourage your discipline. I am so happy and excited you agreed with my assessment & opinion, but again I know you got some reservation you aren't or mightn't say to me.
See that scenario there? It's factually true about today's marriage, everything to the later is totally correct and it's so disheartening to see how this plays out 89% of the time. I can't even find any excuses for it. Morality is gone, from teenage, juvenile to adults & co have retarded standards today and people marry for the wrong reasons, especially as friendship aren't built before marriage. I'd like to hear what you think about it too dear. Happy sunday

*Politeness*
Happy Sunday to you too my luv (since you don't mind). How was church? I went to Catholic church today. A bit boring but I like it. Funny how they totally ignore the biblical injunction not to bow to graven images. But who am I to judge.
I totally agree with all you said, and you said it very eruditely too.
Oh, about the personal reasons thing, if it were something exceptionable you wouldn't even have to ask. The scenario there is inevitable in this day of social medial. There are men who constantly search the internet looking for "victims", then there are women who search the internet looking to be "victims"! The demand is there and the supply is there😆. And as u said, it is quite disheartening.
What u think of other memes on the thread. I agree with this one below, depending on definition.

FreeIgboho:
That scenario is no big deal. Happens from time to time. And what do you think of this one? Is this you?

*Politeness*
That's not me at all. I'm not that type of feminist. I wouldn't mind being a housewife at all, but put me in "my place"?? My place is anywhere I want to be!
I'm not this type of feminists below either

tobenuel:
If I remember say I go marry, my heart go dey do me gbim gbim

*Politeness*
Why?
So don't marry, na by force?!

Lilianmercy:
Hello
Am married, 34 years woman, bored and depressed.
I'm in need of married friends to talk to, both female and male. Thank you.

DM- lilianosahonm@gmail.com

*Politeness*
Make it clear to them:
Is this scenario below a possibility?

PoliteActivist:
*Politeness*
Drop advice or quotations you think will help people live a better life, or that have helped you in life.

Start with FAITH. Don't aim to figure it all out before you start. As you start walking, the path will be appearing. Just start!

FreeIgboho:
I don’t mean it quite that way. If you pm me I will explain to you in detail

*Politeness*
Appreciate it, but don't do pm's. What u think of the scenario above?🤣

lordnkem000:
Sorry I've been busy today and haven't been online hence my delay.
I categorically disagree.
Forget about the abuse of the marriage as an institution today, marriage is too sacred, good, direct, responsible and blessed to be compared to prostitution. I don't know why or what brought such analogy from you but I'll like to see you explain for me dear. Can I pm you? Really would love to hear more of your theories and assertions

*Politeness*
Thanks 4 your response. Oh, no need to apologize at all my luv. Happens to me all the time. ( BTW don't mind me, I was just channeling a lady I know who calls everybody "my love"
Those quotations are not from me at all, nether do I agree with them. They're quotations I saw online and thought they're worth discussing. Oh, for personal reasons I don't do pm's, but I agree with you 100% - GOOD marriage is too sacred, good, direct, responsible and blessed to be compared to prostitution. Now bad marriage, bad marriage is a different kettle of fish altogether. Speaking of bad marriage, what u think of the scenario below?😆

RPG2020:
Who cares if you care

*Politeness*
Well, you asked a question and I answered it. You asked who cared. Nobody asked if you cared!😎

RPG2020:
Who cares

*Politeness*
Actually I care. Very much too

FreeIgboho:
Many women are not prostitutes at all. Some infact pay to be “serviced”

*Politeness*
Correct! U a smart boy sir!
If you say women are all prostitutes in a larger sense, then men are too! See below

*Politeness*
Other countries have "press secretary" or "spokesperson", in Nigeria it is "Senior Special Assistant on Media and communications"!

Sanchez01:
This is a two-edged sword. And yes, you’re right for being paranoid because you are on your way to handing over full custody to your ex husband since you are continents apart.

I believe you need to have a conversation with him and possibly get a lawyer to draft an agreement that you are not giving him the full custody of your son and that he spends a certain period of time with you, possibly every summer until he is 18 when he can make his own decisions. The agreement is your guarantee that you can eat your cake and still have it; have your son get citizenship since he is still a minor and easier while you are still present and active in his life. If anything goes wrong or he stops responding/gives million excuses as to why your son can’t visit, you can make claims of kidnap to the authorities of the country he lives in and then present the agreement as evidence. Just get a reputable law firm to draft the agreement and you’re good.

*Politeness*
OP don't listen to this advice. People abduct their children to another country even after court has awarded custody to the other parent, talkless of agreement. That agreement will be virtually worthless.
I'm sure he'll offer to sign agreement, knowing fully well he'd simply ignore it

Martinez39s:
He is not trying to dupe her. Remember they are divorced, hence he has no obligation towards the mother. He only has obligations towards their son. Think!

If the genders were switched, she wouldn't bring the father along and she would alienate the boy from the father. She is simply projecting herself on the father.

*Politeness*
Kindly, you're the one not thinking. He wants sole custody of his son. He's in a society where he knows that is virtually impossible for a father without marathon court battles. He knows how lucky he'd be if he can get it without setting a foot in court.
OP, this is NOT about citizenship or such, it is about CUSTODY of a child!

lordnkem000:
Honestly hearing you talk this time felt better and

*Politeness*
What u think of the following? Agree? Disagree?

*Politeness*
This angular faced lady. She was round-faced and pretty when she was younger

Justiceleague1:
And when the son becomes an adult nko!?

You people will just open mouth waaaaaa

*Politeness*
Meaning what? You want your son to be with you in his formative years. Once they're adult they're out.
OP he's trying to get sole custody without court battle.
Can't believe you actually considered it

*Politeness*
You know exactly what he is planning. He wants his son but not you. He has deviced a perfect way. If you allow this, trust me, you'll only be speaking to your son on the phone once in a while

IAmHim1:
the same way youll find it ridiculous when doctors tell diabetes patients to STOP the consumption of direct sugar and foods that converts to sugar in their body(carbohydtates) AND START eating more proteins (beans, lean meat etcetera etcetera) in order to deal with their diabetes

stop what hurts you first before doing other things that makes you happy. the equation of happiness
PAIN IS MORE PAINFUL Than pleasure is more pleasurable ie PAIN and pleaaure isnt equal

i know youll come here with another arguements. but its either you want to be free of your addiction OR YOU DONT. you love your suffering so youre looking for reasons to go on. and in the absence of any reason to go on, you try to come against any reason to quit addiction

dont derail peoples progress with quitting their addictiins with your grammars and logic.noone was born with an addiction. it was learnt of their freewill. if it was learnt in repeated pleasure, it must stop in temporary pain

PoliteActivist. lolzzz
ive done it and it works for me. my path in life has never been more clearer i tell you this

*Politeness*
You know, yours is the WEIRDEST discussion I've ever been involved in on this forum. Kindly, I don't know how you can't see the total STUPIDITY of what you are saying. People write books and give all sorts of techniques on how to quit addictions, YOUR BIG ADVICE IS THAT THEY SHOULD STOP DOING WHAT THEY ARE ADDICTED TO FOR 30 DAYS!!!!!
Can't you see that the whole point of addiction, why it is called addiction, is because they CAN'T stop doing it!
if they could stop doing it WHY WOULD THEY BE TALKING TO YOU??!!!!!
Jeez!

lordnkem000:
Honestly hearing you talk this time felt better and reassuring, but again please don't use tinubu as any examples whatsoever because he presiding on a stolen mandate and everyone was right about him. He's a collosal failure in just 8months already and seems clueless, infact buhari looks a saint compared to him, only in a disaster of a state like ours can he be ruling and walking freely with all that we know of him and all that's been happening, from dollar to fuel to gas to insecurity in the FCT.
You are right saying people will talk regardless of what you do but again I feel happy hearing you say you will work for & pray for these things, it's the right thing to do and please continue to pay deaf ears to opinions outside like you do. E get why.
Yeah there's so much to do and enjoy, feels good to hear you say that. You were sounding scary earlier in your comment

*Politeness*
Thanks kindly for your responses. It's just the way I've honestly CHOSEN to be, as I've noticed there's so much illogicality and unfairness in society, the best way to be and enjoy my life is to know in my soul that I'm NOT part of the system, that I'm not part of the whole societal nonsense - though I outwardly I may appear to be!
As for Tinubu he's just a good example of someone who is able to tune out all the noise and be living his life

lordnkem000:
Yeah you guessed right about me especially the soft one, wow.
You see these laws you stated here? They are all very important and very tricky to overcome and i don't really think you are truly outside these laws no matter what you tell yourself and here's my reason.
* Life isn't meaningless without marriage but companionship makes old age easier and worthwhile, it's gives more respect in the family, among peers, in the church and even makes visa application to japa faster because they see you as responsible.
* Children are the most important aspect of our existence, no woman feels complete without having her own child, I have a neighbor right now who's in her late 60s with no child, I've heard people mock her & abuse her secretly and she avoids arguments with people, the other day after a few exchange of words I saw crying and I felt terrible. Many years back I know she might be feeling and talking like you re now but at old age now it's different. Doesn't mean one should kill theirselves but it's imperative to find the right man and the right time to have your own child as a woman, marriage or not, so please erase this one from your list.
* In many cultures in Nigeria male children are valuable than females and that notion has come to stay, hate it or love it. You know why? It's because of the payment of dowry and exorbitant list of payments a man must pay to claim the girl child, meaning she's no longer an active member. The western world we copy don't practice our culture so every child is valuable there especially the female child.
* See this last one is a must, though committing suicide is wrong but if these old women without kids tell you how lonely life is and the ridicule they get from family, friends, church etc you will abort mission. Look dear don't think it. The joy of grand children is invaluable I swear. I know you are trying to be strong against these pressures and i love that. It's so good of you

*Politeness*
Kindly, you're actually wrong about me not being outside those laws. I have managed to INTERNALIZE being outside certain societal "laws". Inside myself, inside my soul, I'm truly outside them. As you are listing them, I was just thinking what has this to do with ME? As to people talking, people will ALWAYS talk no matter what. Whatever you have or don't have, people WILL talk! Do you know there's nothing that was not said about Tinubu, to the extent they named him Thief-nubu. He could have chosen to cry himself to sleep every night. Instead he simply lived his life and let them talk.
Mind you, I'm not saying I won't work for and pray for these things, but I can doubly assure you of one thing: if I don't get some or all of them I WON'T commit suicide. Infact I'd still live and enjoy my life to the fullest. There's soo much to do and enjoy in life!

lilytender:
Peter Giringori Agulu Obi to jail Buhari. Can his father even stand up to shake Buhari's hands?

*Politeness*
Once ANYBODY becomes president of Nigeria as currently set up there is no Nigerian resident he can't destroy or even kill.

lordnkem000:
I guess you must be below 25 then for you to keep saying you consider yourself outside society's illogical laws. Yes it makes no sense I agree but it's an eye opener and if reasoned properly it can help guide you. It seems rewarding to you now but I doubt you will have same views in let's say 10-15yrs time.
To me beauty is starts from the mind, down to what one think of themselves, you don't have to look at what they say about you, but you know you ladies don't believe you are beautiful until you apply makeup and wear skimpy dresses etc. I'm glad you don't buy that bullshit but please don't continue to act emotionless, I can tell from our conversation you care a whole lot and you have a kind heart but so don't let situations and bad decisions of ingratitude deter you.

*Politeness*
Thanks for the compliment. I can tell you're kind-herated and maybe a bit on the "soft" side. Here are examples of types of societal laws I consider myself outside of:
*One must get married or they'er finished, life becomes meaningless
*One must have a child or they might as well just kill themselves
*A male child is more valuable than a female child
* You need to have a child to take care of you in.old age or you might as well just commit suicide
Etc., etc
I consider myself outside these "laws". They have nothing to do with me.
I wouldn't mind having these things but I've DECIDED my life won't be dependent on them!

IAmHim1:
pain is not a bad thing but even masochist dont want to die

all suffering leads to pain. youre attacking the outcome. focus on the cause: suffering

we suffer so we can learn. even death of a loved one teaches us that everyone we love or hate will leave us at some point. either before us or after us.
the pain is there to make sure we dont make such mistakes again. ie hanging on to the idea of together forever. sone children even die before their parents

pain teaches us lessons but even masochists want to be alive

one can also reduce pain by UNDERSTANDING the cause of such pain. your back pains you after exercising prolly cus you were doin it wrong. that doesnt mean anytime you have a back pain after exercise, you run to panadol or you start craving for massage.

PAIN IS MORE PAINFUL than pleasure is more pleasurable. stop what hurts you first and youll be happy. instead of doing more happier things

https://www.nairaland.com/7942067/equation-happiness-dont-add-happiness

*Politeness*
That's why I said as long as the pain doesn't kill you.

By the way, kindly, the statement "pain is more painful than pleasure is more pleasurable" is a non sequitur

IAmHim1:
PEOPLE CAN. I DID!

IM A LIVING EXAMPLE. IM A TESTIMONY TO THE METHOD I USED TO END MY ADDICTION

a poor man doesnt end up a rich man without quitting habits that wastefully takes away money from his pockets.
now listen. the poor man could win a lottery worth millions of naira, but without dealing with his wasteful habits, hed still end up poor in just a matter of time.

how does one plan to end ones drinking habit without learning to build a tolerance to staying away from alcohol FIRST.
you want to build a house but you dont want to lay foundation.
you want to build muscles but you dont wanna exercise cus exercise is stressful.

cmon.

THE GOAL IS SIMPLE. follow the instructions in the thrrad link i gave and i promise you, by march youll be free of your addictions. im open to questions from anyone whomsoever

*Politeness*
I just don't understand why you can't see that it is very ridiculous to tell someone who finds it extremely difficult to go a day without drinking that the way to quit alcohol is to go 30 days without drinking!!

lordnkem000:
Now you are deviating when you use catholic priests and nuns as examples, those people are the biggest hypocrites worldwide because they lie about what they do, they are very secretive about their sexcapades so they are not logical examples.
The word NEED is more stereotype in this discussion and it's either you NEED or you DON'T, there's nothing like HAVE in this context. You are absolutely right when you say she allowed society get into her head but again we don't know the extent of her pain. She might have seeked help or good counseling and had rejection everywhere and she decided not to face the public shame, I've been there and I know how it feels, I'm currently going through such embarrassment but I just close my eyes to everyone because you can't shame the shameless. I tell you my dear no one has been there for me, only God. Today I'm still breathing because i am resolute and determined to succeed no matter the difficulty & rejection i encounter.
As for that stuff on your dp, it's just a sentimental analysis you tell yourself to feel good and i know you are so much better than that dear. We have to care and show care to whoever wants us or appreciate us, but we just need to be wiser

*Politeness*
Ok I see what the problem is: you are equating it to celibacy, two different things. Sex is a basic drive that'll find expression one-way or another, except the very old or sick. When you say "NEED man/woman", I take it you mean "NEED husband/wife or something close to it". Which is where I disagree. A person doesn't need to have a permanent or regular man or woman to have sex or sexual outlet, which the catholic nuns/priests demonstrate.
As for my DP, I take it very seriously. I try to consider myself outside society's illogical "laws" that make no sense to me. It is not easy but very rewarding. Take this woman below, if only she questioned her society's obviously stupid idea of beauty, she'd still have her perfect mouth and ears!

Babaibeji2020:
There was no oga at the top.....the person you think should have been the oga at the top was walking around without a functional brain,with just a faint memory of the number of cattle in the sumol town of Daura...hunkle emefiele was the functional brain at that instance.......

Exousiang01:
Oga at the top didn't allow it.
You can see in this report that he even had to forge the signature of the then SSG in a letter stating that the oga at the too gave the directive.

Again when you see.
If the Oga was a professional in the finance sector he wouldn't need Emefieles advice would he?
When your car has a problem you call your mechanic, electrician, panel etc depending on the problem, they give you their professional advice based on their observation, you are not a mechanic or electrician so you take their advice and authorize them to apply the solution right, when they do they they said would be the solution and the car continues with the same problem, do you blame yourself who gave them the authorization to carry out the repairs or do you blame the mechanic?

Few weeks ago, my car had issues, my main mechanic was out of town, I called him and explained everything to him, he said it was the fuel system, well I got a mechanic and told him to check the fuel system, dude said it was the fuel pump, and he needed 30k, fine he bought the fuel pump and the issue actually continued.
Next thing he said we need to service the nuzzles and change the plugs.
Which I then did.
Would you blame me for taking professional advice from them or giving them the go ahead to fix the problem.
I no sabi am so na the professional I go listen to.

Buhari was listening to Emefiele who he assumed was a professional and knew what he was doing.
I am sure Buhari would have asked him on several occasions "are you sure this policy would work" Emefiele would have been saying "trust me Mr President this is my job I know what I am saying".
Now do you know what will happen tomorrow if the President refuses to take the advice of Emefiele and Emefiele turns out to be right?
We would have Buhari head in the basket.
Some times let's look at this things critically and not emotionally

Sangoamadioha1:
Is CBN no longer independent
As you are ignorant, just keep quiet and observe.

*Politeness*
I'm just surprised you folks can't see how ridiculously powerful Nigeria has made her presidency. There is nothing like CBN is independent. Emefiele could not make a move without total approval of the president or cabal. I read where Buhari was explaining why he agreed to the new Naira thing

(Why does Osinbajo look so unhappy in third photo?)