₦airaland Forum

Gerrard59:
It is a global phenomenon. In almost every country, the majority of poor people have plenty of children. I watched an episode about a poor family in Switzerland, a mother with four children. Switzerland is one of the world's wealthiest places, where the average number of children is 2. In Japan, most middle class families have two children or just a child. The same applies to Singapore and Big Daddy China. Now, we have someone who comes from a family with FIVE CHILDREN, and someone is lying that the number of children has nothing to do with poverty?

Why do people lie so brazenly on the Internet for crying out loud?!!

*Politeness*
I don't know what the statistics are, but I can tell you, on an individual basis, life is NOT 1+1=2. The human potential is almost unlimited. If a human being has a compelling reason, there's almost nothing he can't do. And there's nothing as motivating as badly wanting something for your child. BUT people should NOT in anyway be encourage to have children they can't comfortably take care of.

BRATISLAVA:
On the forum having children is seen as the cause of poverty. Any time a person complains of financial difficulties they're always accused of having too many children or their parents are accused of it. But people without children are poor. Yet it always gets back to having children.

There are some problems deeper than having children. How can it always be because they have children they are having financial issues?

Kobojunkie:
Human potential! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Because in a structured society where people earn wages per hour, you can only work so many hours, meaning you can only earn so much. The less people you have to share what you make, the more you can spend on each person, generally speaking

Fattprince23:
You think money is easy to make? As lordnkem as said both gender don't have it fair. I look around me now and see how girls without work or job use expensive phones and wigs and even gadget. Can a jobless young man afford that?

*Politeness*
Perfectly illustrates what I was saying. Most girls are NOT in that category Say a girl doesn't go that route (whether because she chooses not to or because she's not attractive enough) and works hard and makes her own way, and finally has some money. For a man that's it! That's ALL he has to do. He has arrived! For a girl she may still end up committing suicide like that poor girl, if she's not mentally strong like some of us!

*Politeness*
Honestly, I didn't know Syria and India are in Africa

lordnkem000:
That's what you mean by personal reasons? Attachment & closure? You gotta be kidding me dear. Connections are built that way, business or others are built that way, you just being melodramatic with this particular reason for me though i still buy it. As for the guy you were having nice conversation with and disappeared, I believe you had your reasons, maybe you saw something, people bolt when they see something that doesn't compliment their personalities so only you know why and i believe he might have a clue as to why you disappeared probably based on your conversations, am just guessing, but ours in entirely different & you have no reason to be pessimistic but rather be optimistic sweetie.
I think I understand that mango post now, very funny too.

*Politeness*
Thanks for buying it my dahlin'. That’s just the way it is. So you liked the Mango street stuff? Here's more below. How ya like it? I think it's very good writing.

IAmHim1:
youre misquoting me


i didnt say stop only the addictive act but also stop doing other things that brings pleasure to you


you havent tried it yet you criticise it

the iron youre using, you dont know how many colors of wires is inside, yet you use it to iron your clothes. you dont question the manufacturer unless you tried it and find its faulty

the car youre driving, you cant build an engine from scratch yet it takes you from one point in the world to another in record time. you dont care about building an engine. you just want to move

same as the food you eat. if you knew the steps rice n beans farmers go through to gather that rice you buy in bags and cook at home for your family and loved ones
but you dont care about the steps involved in cultivation...YOU JUST WANT TO EAT RICE OR BEANS

now someone gives you a method this person used to end an addiction of yearsss in JUST 45 days...not selling a course or telling you to subscribe to any newsletter or bullshit and here you are...


you suddenly remembered youre a researcher.
hmmm. i feel sorry for you unno. just hope youre not like this in real life though


heres the link for those truly seeking to be free of their addiction whatsoever like i am now

https://www.nairaland.com/7939213/one-guide-end-addiction

*Politeness*
Well you're wrong. I have tried it. I had a friend addicted to tramadol try it. She gets home from work tired and stressed out. She usually takes the pill with a glass of wine and relaxes watching a show on tv. I told her your method. So instead of doing any of those things she instead dragged herself to the gym (which she hated). She was so totally tired and depressed when she came back she swore never to try any such stupidity again!

lordnkem000:
I waited for your response all day and I felt empty, it feels good to see your writeup Hun.
Anything that carjoles me to hate other gender is a No No for me and I hate using other peoples wrongs to judge others, I'd rather be careful and smart but these feminists are a menace here and so too are some guys who bash women because of these feminists, wrong plus wrong. It makes me laugh most times. Being balanced is cool, am already fascinated & curious about your personality, keep it up dear. Thank you so much for not judging my decision about church, it means a lot. My decision had nothing nothing to do with dressing but more with people's character and actions. Remember, the disciples of Christ were first called christians in Antioch or so because of what? Their attitude and actions. They behaved liie Christ. So you see, its important to practice what you preach, but today they tell you A and do B, then tell you not to judge. Bullshit to me.
As for that house on the mango post, I don't even understand it, it's cool though. Hope to hear from you more sweetie

*Politeness*
Thanks for the compliment ma dahling. Really appreciate. Sorry you were waiting. That's what I mean by personal reasons. Sometimes I may not reply for days. There was this guy I was having very nice conversation with, then I "disappeared". He must be wondering what happened. I 100% agree with you -
reject anything that tries to make you hate anybody. It will affect you, not the people you hating!
Here's the full excerpt of the mango street post. Do you now understand it?

lordnkem000:
Yeah it's not a lot, it might be lower sef, though am not proud of it but I've come to understand few things about church. Too much hypocrisy, religion is destroying us all and people don't adhere to the teachings of Christ, they just care about picking bible quotes to suit or validate their lifestyle, many things sweetie is wrong and I just decided to worship my God in my heart and try to do what's right, though I'm not that perfect or even close but I let the fear of God be my standard, that's how I've been ever since. And yeah Catholic are a very authentic part of thr body of Christ and I love their choir too, I was a member for 5yrs, I love classical music. Some church act as if they are perfect, you need to see how they talk down others and it's disgusting because the church is one foundation according to chtist, maybe not in Nigeria o.
The personal thing is irrevocable otherwise I'd be the perfect person to revoke it with, you just dey SUGAR me with ambiguous words and it breaks my heart, but what can i do? You are just being hard as i see it because there re exceptions to every rule, though i also believe one must be sure about it before taking that exception, you aren't the only one scared here, am lost for words honey.
Real men are feminists and it's true in my opinion, but not the Nairaland feminists version o, they preach hate and disregard for men and that's bullshit, no one takes them serious. Feminism is about rights and justice and I totally agree.
I will share some quotes when I see but we must discuss that personal thing of yours first and find a way

*Politeness*
'Preciate your response me luv. You are quite right, some Nairaland feminists are just red pill, female version. It may sound like I'm bragging but I'm actually balanced, I consider both sides.That's my kind of feminist!
Can't say I blame you about church. And sometimes it can be something that has to do with dressing, as depicted in this post below, from a book called " The house on Mango street"

Melanin07:
I am not attending a conference in UN, I am attending a Model UN conference being hosted around UN environs in Washington and New York.

Point of correction. I know where I am going. What I don't know is which type of Visa to apply for?

If you have any tips and suggestions. I will appreciate

*Politeness*
You said UN headquarters and there is only one UN headquarters in the world.
As to visa, see below

Melanin07:
Well I meant to say UN information Center in Washington.

By the way the conferences are two.
One at New York around UN environs, and the second one at Washington.

They're model UN conferences, so they're hosting them in close proximity to the UN offices. In conjunction with the UN guided tours we booked.

So please which Visa category should I apply for. Is it C2 Visa or B1/B2?

Any tips and suggestions would be appreciated.

*Politeness*
Well you didn't mention NYC and that's where UN is, also where we have the tallest and most expensive Nigerian government-owned building outside Nigeria, built by Babangida, our Maradona!

See below

2aces:
How do you expect him to explain all those things he wrote now, sometimes you play along to help a brother

*Politeness*
He has a conference in UN, and booked a guided tour, without knowing where it is. Naija!

lordnkem000:
Yeah ofcourse I don't mind about the endearment. Honestly, I didn't go to church at all, haven't gone to church up to 10times in 5years, alot about my personal life made me that way and it's been harder to change.are you a Catholic? It's a cool church just like the rest and their services can be boring so you're right, am sorry for that dear. they'll never agree to that injunction of bowing to graven images they'll rather oblige you with quotations to back their actions so get used to it okay, I've been a member of many different churches and I have come to accept everyone's view of Christianity so no need to judge.
I'm happy you agree with all I said, very cute of you to concur.
About that personal reason thang, you are right about being pragmatic and careful and I agree totally, social media these days have become something else and the one I hate most is this one plaguing this forum, which is tribalism, ethnicism and etc and I buy all your defensive measures myself. However, my own with you is different and peculiar and I think very exceptionable, infact it means a lot to me, I am not asking you to lower your guard or standard, I'm just saying I'll be glad if you give me this exception.
I agree too with you on this one too, many people don't know this but that saying is very correct..
I've been so busy but I keep looking forward to hearing from you always

*Politeness*
Thanks 4 your response my luv (or "my lof" as my lisping friend would say😆)
10 times in 5 years? That's not a lot. No, I'm not a Catholic at all. But I believe they’re an authentic part of body of Christ. Of course they’re not perfect at all, but which church is?
The personal thing is irrevocable, otherwise you'd be the perfect person to revoke it with. Yes, that "all real men are feminists" can be be true or false depending on definition. BTW, If you come accross any excellent quotes or insights don't hesitate to share!

*Politeness*
I think UN headquarters is in NYC

lordnkem000:
I don't mind at all & there's nothing wrong or bad in calling my luv, it's an innocent endearment. Very humorous of you. I am glad those quotations aren't from you because i fidgeted at first when i saw it & had images of you in my head but I was happy to indulge you too.
I can understand your personal reasons but there are exceptions to every rules atimes and this is one i don't want to miss, so i crave and humor you to reconsider, I encourage your discipline. I am so happy and excited you agreed with my assessment & opinion, but again I know you got some reservation you aren't or mightn't say to me.
See that scenario there? It's factually true about today's marriage, everything to the later is totally correct and it's so disheartening to see how this plays out 89% of the time. I can't even find any excuses for it. Morality is gone, from teenage, juvenile to adults & co have retarded standards today and people marry for the wrong reasons, especially as friendship aren't built before marriage. I'd like to hear what you think about it too dear. Happy sunday

*Politeness*
Happy Sunday to you too my luv (since you don't mind). How was church? I went to Catholic church today. A bit boring but I like it. Funny how they totally ignore the biblical injunction not to bow to graven images. But who am I to judge.
I totally agree with all you said, and you said it very eruditely too.
Oh, about the personal reasons thing, if it were something exceptionable you wouldn't even have to ask. The scenario there is inevitable in this day of social medial. There are men who constantly search the internet looking for "victims", then there are women who search the internet looking to be "victims"! The demand is there and the supply is there😆. And as u said, it is quite disheartening.
What u think of other memes on the thread. I agree with this one below, depending on definition.

FreeIgboho:
That scenario is no big deal. Happens from time to time. And what do you think of this one? Is this you?

*Politeness*
That's not me at all. I'm not that type of feminist. I wouldn't mind being a housewife at all, but put me in "my place"?? My place is anywhere I want to be!
I'm not this type of feminists below either

tobenuel:
If I remember say I go marry, my heart go dey do me gbim gbim

*Politeness*
Why?
So don't marry, na by force?!

Lilianmercy:
Hello
Am married, 34 years woman, bored and depressed.
I'm in need of married friends to talk to, both female and male. Thank you.

DM- lilianosahonm@gmail.com

*Politeness*
Make it clear to them:
Is this scenario below a possibility?

PoliteActivist:
*Politeness*
Drop advice or quotations you think will help people live a better life, or that have helped you in life.

Start with FAITH. Don't aim to figure it all out before you start. As you start walking, the path will be appearing. Just start!

FreeIgboho:
I don’t mean it quite that way. If you pm me I will explain to you in detail

*Politeness*
Appreciate it, but don't do pm's. What u think of the scenario above?🤣

lordnkem000:
Sorry I've been busy today and haven't been online hence my delay.
I categorically disagree.
Forget about the abuse of the marriage as an institution today, marriage is too sacred, good, direct, responsible and blessed to be compared to prostitution. I don't know why or what brought such analogy from you but I'll like to see you explain for me dear. Can I pm you? Really would love to hear more of your theories and assertions

*Politeness*
Thanks 4 your response. Oh, no need to apologize at all my luv. Happens to me all the time. ( BTW don't mind me, I was just channeling a lady I know who calls everybody "my love"
Those quotations are not from me at all, nether do I agree with them. They're quotations I saw online and thought they're worth discussing. Oh, for personal reasons I don't do pm's, but I agree with you 100% - GOOD marriage is too sacred, good, direct, responsible and blessed to be compared to prostitution. Now bad marriage, bad marriage is a different kettle of fish altogether. Speaking of bad marriage, what u think of the scenario below?😆

RPG2020:
Who cares if you care

*Politeness*
Well, you asked a question and I answered it. You asked who cared. Nobody asked if you cared!😎

RPG2020:
Who cares

*Politeness*
Actually I care. Very much too

FreeIgboho:
Many women are not prostitutes at all. Some infact pay to be “serviced”

*Politeness*
Correct! U a smart boy sir!
If you say women are all prostitutes in a larger sense, then men are too! See below

*Politeness*
Other countries have "press secretary" or "spokesperson", in Nigeria it is "Senior Special Assistant on Media and communications"!

Sanchez01:
This is a two-edged sword. And yes, you’re right for being paranoid because you are on your way to handing over full custody to your ex husband since you are continents apart.

I believe you need to have a conversation with him and possibly get a lawyer to draft an agreement that you are not giving him the full custody of your son and that he spends a certain period of time with you, possibly every summer until he is 18 when he can make his own decisions. The agreement is your guarantee that you can eat your cake and still have it; have your son get citizenship since he is still a minor and easier while you are still present and active in his life. If anything goes wrong or he stops responding/gives million excuses as to why your son can’t visit, you can make claims of kidnap to the authorities of the country he lives in and then present the agreement as evidence. Just get a reputable law firm to draft the agreement and you’re good.

*Politeness*
OP don't listen to this advice. People abduct their children to another country even after court has awarded custody to the other parent, talkless of agreement. That agreement will be virtually worthless.
I'm sure he'll offer to sign agreement, knowing fully well he'd simply ignore it

Martinez39s:
He is not trying to dupe her. Remember they are divorced, hence he has no obligation towards the mother. He only has obligations towards their son. Think!

If the genders were switched, she wouldn't bring the father along and she would alienate the boy from the father. She is simply projecting herself on the father.

*Politeness*
Kindly, you're the one not thinking. He wants sole custody of his son. He's in a society where he knows that is virtually impossible for a father without marathon court battles. He knows how lucky he'd be if he can get it without setting a foot in court.
OP, this is NOT about citizenship or such, it is about CUSTODY of a child!

lordnkem000:
Honestly hearing you talk this time felt better and

*Politeness*
What u think of the following? Agree? Disagree?

*Politeness*
This angular faced lady. She was round-faced and pretty when she was younger

Justiceleague1:
And when the son becomes an adult nko!?

You people will just open mouth waaaaaa

*Politeness*
Meaning what? You want your son to be with you in his formative years. Once they're adult they're out.
OP he's trying to get sole custody without court battle.
Can't believe you actually considered it

*Politeness*
You know exactly what he is planning. He wants his son but not you. He has deviced a perfect way. If you allow this, trust me, you'll only be speaking to your son on the phone once in a while

IAmHim1:
the same way youll find it ridiculous when doctors tell diabetes patients to STOP the consumption of direct sugar and foods that converts to sugar in their body(carbohydtates) AND START eating more proteins (beans, lean meat etcetera etcetera) in order to deal with their diabetes

stop what hurts you first before doing other things that makes you happy. the equation of happiness
PAIN IS MORE PAINFUL Than pleasure is more pleasurable ie PAIN and pleaaure isnt equal

i know youll come here with another arguements. but its either you want to be free of your addiction OR YOU DONT. you love your suffering so youre looking for reasons to go on. and in the absence of any reason to go on, you try to come against any reason to quit addiction

dont derail peoples progress with quitting their addictiins with your grammars and logic.noone was born with an addiction. it was learnt of their freewill. if it was learnt in repeated pleasure, it must stop in temporary pain

PoliteActivist. lolzzz
ive done it and it works for me. my path in life has never been more clearer i tell you this

*Politeness*
You know, yours is the WEIRDEST discussion I've ever been involved in on this forum. Kindly, I don't know how you can't see the total STUPIDITY of what you are saying. People write books and give all sorts of techniques on how to quit addictions, YOUR BIG ADVICE IS THAT THEY SHOULD STOP DOING WHAT THEY ARE ADDICTED TO FOR 30 DAYS!!!!!
Can't you see that the whole point of addiction, why it is called addiction, is because they CAN'T stop doing it!
if they could stop doing it WHY WOULD THEY BE TALKING TO YOU??!!!!!
Jeez!