lordnkem000: Honestly hearing you talk this time felt better and reassuring, but again please don't use tinubu as any examples whatsoever because he presiding on a stolen mandate and everyone was right about him. He's a collosal failure in just 8months already and seems clueless, infact buhari looks a saint compared to him, only in a disaster of a state like ours can he be ruling and walking freely with all that we know of him and all that's been happening, from dollar to fuel to gas to insecurity in the FCT. You are right saying people will talk regardless of what you do but again I feel happy hearing you say you will work for & pray for these things, it's the right thing to do and please continue to pay deaf ears to opinions outside like you do. E get why. Yeah there's so much to do and enjoy, feels good to hear you say that. You were sounding scary earlier in your comment
*Politeness* Thanks kindly for your responses. It's just the way I've honestly CHOSEN to be, as I've noticed there's so much illogicality and unfairness in society, the best way to be and enjoy my life is to know in my soul that I'm NOT part of the system, that I'm not part of the whole societal nonsense - though I outwardly I may appear to be! As for Tinubu he's just a good example of someone who is able to tune out all the noise and be living his life
lordnkem000: Yeah you guessed right about me especially the soft one, wow. You see these laws you stated here? They are all very important and very tricky to overcome and i don't really think you are truly outside these laws no matter what you tell yourself and here's my reason. * Life isn't meaningless without marriage but companionship makes old age easier and worthwhile, it's gives more respect in the family, among peers, in the church and even makes visa application to japa faster because they see you as responsible. * Children are the most important aspect of our existence, no woman feels complete without having her own child, I have a neighbor right now who's in her late 60s with no child, I've heard people mock her & abuse her secretly and she avoids arguments with people, the other day after a few exchange of words I saw crying and I felt terrible. Many years back I know she might be feeling and talking like you re now but at old age now it's different. Doesn't mean one should kill theirselves but it's imperative to find the right man and the right time to have your own child as a woman, marriage or not, so please erase this one from your list. * In many cultures in Nigeria male children are valuable than females and that notion has come to stay, hate it or love it. You know why? It's because of the payment of dowry and exorbitant list of payments a man must pay to claim the girl child, meaning she's no longer an active member. The western world we copy don't practice our culture so every child is valuable there especially the female child. * See this last one is a must, though committing suicide is wrong but if these old women without kids tell you how lonely life is and the ridicule they get from family, friends, church etc you will abort mission. Look dear don't think it. The joy of grand children is invaluable I swear. I know you are trying to be strong against these pressures and i love that. It's so good of you
*Politeness* Kindly, you're actually wrong about me not being outside those laws. I have managed to INTERNALIZE being outside certain societal "laws". Inside myself, inside my soul, I'm truly outside them. As you are listing them, I was just thinking what has this to do with ME? As to people talking, people will ALWAYS talk no matter what. Whatever you have or don't have, people WILL talk! Do you know there's nothing that was not said about Tinubu, to the extent they named him Thief-nubu. He could have chosen to cry himself to sleep every night. Instead he simply lived his life and let them talk. Mind you, I'm not saying I won't work for and pray for these things, but I can doubly assure you of one thing: if I don't get some or all of them I WON'T commit suicide. Infact I'd still live and enjoy my life to the fullest. There's soo much to do and enjoy in life!
lordnkem000: I guess you must be below 25 then for you to keep saying you consider yourself outside society's illogical laws. Yes it makes no sense I agree but it's an eye opener and if reasoned properly it can help guide you. It seems rewarding to you now but I doubt you will have same views in let's say 10-15yrs time. To me beauty is starts from the mind, down to what one think of themselves, you don't have to look at what they say about you, but you know you ladies don't believe you are beautiful until you apply makeup and wear skimpy dresses etc. I'm glad you don't buy that bullshit but please don't continue to act emotionless, I can tell from our conversation you care a whole lot and you have a kind heart but so don't let situations and bad decisions of ingratitude deter you.
*Politeness* Thanks for the compliment. I can tell you're kind-herated and maybe a bit on the "soft" side. Here are examples of types of societal laws I consider myself outside of: *One must get married or they'er finished, life becomes meaningless *One must have a child or they might as well just kill themselves *A male child is more valuable than a female child * You need to have a child to take care of you in.old age or you might as well just commit suicide Etc., etc I consider myself outside these "laws". They have nothing to do with me. I wouldn't mind having these things but I've DECIDED my life won't be dependent on them!
IAmHim1: pain is not a bad thing but even masochist dont want to die
all suffering leads to pain. youre attacking the outcome. focus on the cause: suffering
we suffer so we can learn. even death of a loved one teaches us that everyone we love or hate will leave us at some point. either before us or after us. the pain is there to make sure we dont make such mistakes again. ie hanging on to the idea of together forever. sone children even die before their parents
pain teaches us lessons but even masochists want to be alive
one can also reduce pain by UNDERSTANDING the cause of such pain. your back pains you after exercising prolly cus you were doin it wrong. that doesnt mean anytime you have a back pain after exercise, you run to panadol or you start craving for massage.
PAIN IS MORE PAINFUL than pleasure is more pleasurable. stop what hurts you first and youll be happy. instead of doing more happier things
IM A LIVING EXAMPLE. IM A TESTIMONY TO THE METHOD I USED TO END MY ADDICTION
a poor man doesnt end up a rich man without quitting habits that wastefully takes away money from his pockets. now listen. the poor man could win a lottery worth millions of naira, but without dealing with his wasteful habits, hed still end up poor in just a matter of time.
how does one plan to end ones drinking habit without learning to build a tolerance to staying away from alcohol FIRST. you want to build a house but you dont want to lay foundation. you want to build muscles but you dont wanna exercise cus exercise is stressful.
cmon.
THE GOAL IS SIMPLE. follow the instructions in the thrrad link i gave and i promise you, by march youll be free of your addictions. im open to questions from anyone whomsoever
*Politeness* I just don't understand why you can't see that it is very ridiculous to tell someone who finds it extremely difficult to go a day without drinking that the way to quit alcohol is to go 30 days without drinking!!
lordnkem000: Now you are deviating when you use catholic priests and nuns as examples, those people are the biggest hypocrites worldwide because they lie about what they do, they are very secretive about their sexcapades so they are not logical examples. The word NEED is more stereotype in this discussion and it's either you NEED or you DON'T, there's nothing like HAVE in this context. You are absolutely right when you say she allowed society get into her head but again we don't know the extent of her pain. She might have seeked help or good counseling and had rejection everywhere and she decided not to face the public shame, I've been there and I know how it feels, I'm currently going through such embarrassment but I just close my eyes to everyone because you can't shame the shameless. I tell you my dear no one has been there for me, only God. Today I'm still breathing because i am resolute and determined to succeed no matter the difficulty & rejection i encounter. As for that stuff on your dp, it's just a sentimental analysis you tell yourself to feel good and i know you are so much better than that dear. We have to care and show care to whoever wants us or appreciate us, but we just need to be wiser
*Politeness* Ok I see what the problem is: you are equating it to celibacy, two different things. Sex is a basic drive that'll find expression one-way or another, except the very old or sick. When you say "NEED man/woman", I take it you mean "NEED husband/wife or something close to it". Which is where I disagree. A person doesn't need to have a permanent or regular man or woman to have sex or sexual outlet, which the catholic nuns/priests demonstrate. As for my DP, I take it very seriously. I try to consider myself outside society's illogical "laws" that make no sense to me. It is not easy but very rewarding. Take this woman below, if only she questioned her society's obviously stupid idea of beauty, she'd still have her perfect mouth and ears!
Babaibeji2020: There was no oga at the top.....the person you think should have been the oga at the top was walking around without a functional brain,with just a faint memory of the number of cattle in the sumol town of Daura...hunkle emefiele was the functional brain at that instance.......
Exousiang01: Oga at the top didn't allow it. You can see in this report that he even had to forge the signature of the then SSG in a letter stating that the oga at the too gave the directive.
Again when you see. If the Oga was a professional in the finance sector he wouldn't need Emefieles advice would he? When your car has a problem you call your mechanic, electrician, panel etc depending on the problem, they give you their professional advice based on their observation, you are not a mechanic or electrician so you take their advice and authorize them to apply the solution right, when they do they they said would be the solution and the car continues with the same problem, do you blame yourself who gave them the authorization to carry out the repairs or do you blame the mechanic?
Few weeks ago, my car had issues, my main mechanic was out of town, I called him and explained everything to him, he said it was the fuel system, well I got a mechanic and told him to check the fuel system, dude said it was the fuel pump, and he needed 30k, fine he bought the fuel pump and the issue actually continued. Next thing he said we need to service the nuzzles and change the plugs. Which I then did. Would you blame me for taking professional advice from them or giving them the go ahead to fix the problem. I no sabi am so na the professional I go listen to.
Buhari was listening to Emefiele who he assumed was a professional and knew what he was doing. I am sure Buhari would have asked him on several occasions "are you sure this policy would work" Emefiele would have been saying "trust me Mr President this is my job I know what I am saying". Now do you know what will happen tomorrow if the President refuses to take the advice of Emefiele and Emefiele turns out to be right? We would have Buhari head in the basket. Some times let's look at this things critically and not emotionally
Sangoamadioha1: Is CBN no longer independent As you are ignorant, just keep quiet and observe.
*Politeness* I'm just surprised you folks can't see how ridiculously powerful Nigeria has made her presidency. There is nothing like CBN is independent. Emefiele could not make a move without total approval of the president or cabal. I read where Buhari was explaining why he agreed to the new Naira thing
(Why does Osinbajo look so unhappy in third photo?)
lordnkem000: Wow, how can you even say that you don't agree that a man needs a woman and vice versa? Forget societal pressure or conditioning here, life is not complete without a woman in a man's life, even God saw this before he created Eve, it's not easy to cater for so many problems alone without moral advice, companionship, support, etc and when you then add the society pressure it becomes a necessity, though paternity fraudsters are making me have a rethink regarding marriage but once I see a good girl that ticks my boxes I'll marry her asap, I don't care about body counts as long as i can trust her. And you are right, mine is money problems, bills and issues that are eating me up without a shoulder to cry on or a mind to share with. These things can make you think or feel there's no hope again and I was there
*Politeness* Remember the word is "NEED" not "would like to have". History is full of men and women who lived long, happy lives without the other gender. Catholic priests and nuns for example. There was a monk who never set eyes on a woman and died in his 80's. There are lots of women who died very old, never having a man. Take this poor girl that committed suicide, I bet you it's because she let society get into her head, NOT because she couldn't live without a husband. If she had the attitude in my DP (below), she'd still be alive today, and enjoying her life
*Politeness* You people should stop disgracing yourselves. Stop trying to obfuscate by fixating on this woman that is not important at all to the TB saga. Accept that TB was flawed and into socery, then focus on cleaning up your church and building it to new heights. There's too much out there about TB and too many people talking for years for you to fool anybody!
lordnkem000: I heard about that woman's death and I felt bad because awhile ago I was in exactly that place and almost ended it like that, but i remembered my enemies and concluded that I was making them fulfilled if i took my life so i buckled up and here i am still trying to make it. You are so right when you said all a man had to do is make money and worry less about other things. But a man needs a woman who understands life and is faithful in both little and few
*Politeness* I bet yours can be traced to money problems one way or another. Compare to this poor girl - she had a good job, making good money, and it still wasn't enough! As for a man NEEDING a woman. I don't agree. Same way I don't think a woman NEEDS a man. It's a good thing for them to have each other. But NEED? I think that's societal conditioning!
FreeIgboho: The “decide” thing actually makes sense to me. Example, once Tinubu decided it was his turn, the uninverse went to work!
*Politeness* Well, well, thanks a lot. That's the aim of the thread - that anybody who comes accross it and applies some of it will live a better life! Speaking of Tinubu, I think his attitude in this video demonstrates a big part of why he was successful, and we can learn a lot from it!
*Politeness* You people should stop disgracing yourselves. Stop trying to obfuscate by fixating on this woman that is not important at all to the TB saga. Accept that TB was flawed and into socery, then focus on cleaning up your church and building it to new heights. There's too much out there about TB and too many people talking for years for you to fool anybody!
*Politeness* OP, are you the "guy"? Personally I'd have moved on with my life long ago. If we meet again and are both still single, we see what happens. But ME wait around for him? No sir!
mrrandomguy: He is absolutely correct. For those who don't understand, the dollars don't reach Nigeria. What the money transfer companies do is to credit the receiver with the naira equivalent. The actual dollars is then diverted away from the official market.
*Politeness* Sooo, how do they get the naira equivalent??
mikeapollo: If you watch the church services, everything in the church is recorded. If not, Nigerians would have used lies to destroy the man many years ago. 1. There were church members (women) that discovered the abandoned baby. Go watch the video very well. People reported the case to the police and wrote their naames. There are women in the church that were feeding the baby. Some are still alive in the church. Some older disciples were also taking care of her when she was a baby! 2. Your impression could be as warped as the condition of your mind! TB Joshua does not move alone. There are usually many people that follow him, so they would witness whatever happen. 3. Bad influence e.g from school etc could make the girl misbehave. 4, All meetings with disciples and other activities in the church are recorded, This Ajoke is only a coincidence. What is contained in the video is only the portion of what happend on the day that relates to Ajoke.
Tell us what he and the wife are hiding since you know better than them!
No one should be afraid of video records if you are doing the right thing!
It seems your conclusion lacks logic because you want to hear bad news about TB Joshua to be happy. If his 3 daughters are well behaved, and this Ajoke is having bad behaviour and attitude, it should tell you that something is wrong with this Ajoke.
But you people are truly something else. You're trying to get people fixated on Ajoke. Who is Ajoke??!! Is Ajoke even up to tip of of what's been said about TB over the years. Even BBC does not contain up to 90% of it. So many videos were already online long before BBC even knew TB existed!
lordnkem000: I'm glad you concured that it's nobody's fault, but you'll agree with me that today's Nigeria is tougher for the male child than female, from job employments to sympathy levels or even social media empathy, it's hard for a man to take care of himself and still marry a woman, pay her dowry and family obligations and then prepare for his family responsibilities, it's so tough but every man is expected to do it and the women expect you to cater for them without minding your financial strength, capacity and capabilities. Chimanda is correct in her assertions but I think she's just being sentimental and ignoring the main points, both male and female has this same issues but individual perceptions is the only difference
*Politeness* ALL a man has to do is make money. That's it! He doesn't have to worry about anything else. He doesn't have to go live in another family and have them judge him. He doesn't have to worry about pregnancy, childbirth, and all the headaches about them. He doesn't have to worry about waiting for someone to come for him. Case in point, this poor girl below who committed suicide. Even when a woman has a good job and money the headache doesn't end. If she were a man she'd be balling and having time of her life!
PoliteActivist: *Politeness* Drop advice or quotations you think will help people live a better life, or that have helped you in life (both in romance and life generally). Dominique, Nlfpmod
lordnkem000: Look i get your point, most times men can be a scum and all that but there's no need fighting against men because all these grievances you rightly mentioned, if anything blame our African culture for it, but again also note that a good woman doesn't react to these flaws and loopholes in our African culture, rather she makes her relationship work. I really disagree with you when you say that women are the disadvantaged one even though i get your points, why, because the whole responsibility lies with the man, he pays the bills, all the bills and takes careof both the child and the mother, even extending to her people. While she's busy carry the pregnancy & all, he's busy working tomorrow clear the bills, feed her and etc. so you see, the man is not entirely out. A man is not expected to complain, cry or beg for help, people will call you lazy, tell you to man up no matter his pains and difficulty. My dear I love your intelligence, I just hope Iade a reasonable point
*Politeness* Thanks for the compliment. You are quite erudite yourself. As long as you acknowledge my points. It's nobody's fault - it's just how nature and society set it up. Women are born with the odds already against them, as Chimamda put it - as if they are already guilty of something just for being born female. It's only right we recognize that and do what we can to make things as fair as possible. I was looking at suicide rates by gender. In most countries more men commit suicide than women. BUT in Nigeria it is equal, or slightly more women!
lordnkem000: Are you quite sure you know what you are doing? Because you are such an amazing woman and very intelligent so please don't associate yourself with these feminists, especially the Nairaland and naija feminism. Because they are bitter and irresponsible, after rejecting good prospective guys because they are poor they feel bitter after jumping from dick to dick of the rich guys and tossed around and dumped. E g Tonto, iyabo ojo. You will never see mercy Johnson & chioma associate with feminists
Maybe if we are in the 90s, then I may call myself one because feminism haven't become anti man.
*Politeness* I really appreciate the compliment. Well, what you described has nothing to do with feminism (a term that has now somehow been turned into a pejorative by some). It's like saying that incels who basically want to shoot women are about male empowerment! Chimamda is happily married to a white medical doctor, by the way. FEMINISM IS A RECOGNITION THAT WOMEN ARE NATURALLY AND SOCIETALLY DISADVANTAGED. I was just reading an article where the last born of 5 got the house and everything when their father suddenly died only because he's a boy! There are still places in this country where girls can't go to school and where the girl child has absolutely no protection against rape and forced marriages to much older men!
Let's now consider sex and issues surrounding it. The sexual urge is a powerful basic instinct for both men and women and sooner or later it must find expression. Different if the urge were only with one gender. But only one gender has hymen that announces if she ever did it; the other gender, nothing like hymen! One gender DARES NOT indulge as desirable opportunities arise, simply doesn't have that freedom. The order gender can freely indulge as they wish and are even praised for "high body count". There are even brothels where they can go to specifically indulge! (Remember, it's not only one gender that enjoys sex. Both genders equally enjoy sex!)
Now, let's get to pregnancy, childbirth, and who owns the child. We get pregnant, carry the baby in our bodies for 9 months ((men can disappear right after sex, we don't have that option)), we go through great pain giving birth to the baby and sometimes actually lose our lives. The birth changes our bodies forever, some developing leaky bladder and such, ireversible weight-gain etc, post partum depression which have lead some to suicide, etc. Meanwhile ALL the man has done to this point is enjoy sex and cum! Once the baby is born, we've already known her for 9 months, plus all we went through to produce the baby, all that tie us to him beyond love. Plus we have to breastfeed her, etc- we simply can't walk away from the baby. But a man can easily walk away and go impregnate another woman (we can't get pregnant again for some time)
Then, in a society like Nigeria, after the woman has borne ALL the risks and unpleasantness of pregnancy and childbirth and finally produces a baby, the baby belongs to the man! And bears his last name! (Remember, ALL he bodily contributed was enjoy sex and cum! That's it!) So the baby belongs entirely to the man - he may choose to collect his baby and toss the woman or choose to live with her; or he may choose to abandon both her and the baby - it's entirely up to him! Despite all this, some want us to believe that it is infact men that are disadvantaged not women. Wow!
i know what it feels like to be addicted. depressed and second guessing yourself all the time.
ive been there and noww im out. shared how i got my freedom from my addiction in the link above
*Politeness* Well, here's your method in a nutshell, your method to beat any addiction:
STOP DOING ALL THE THINGS YOU LOVE DOING AND START DOING ALL THE THINGS YOU HATE DOING FOR 30 DAYS STRAIGHT!!!
I told you the BIG FLAW in your method is that people can't stop doing what they love for even 5 days, and do what they hate for even 4 days, TALKLESS OF THIRTY DAYS!!!!
PoliteActivist: *Politeness* Drop advice or quotations you think will help people live a better life, or that have helped you in life (both in romance and life generally).
IAmHim1: one cant avoid suffering but one can reduce pain that comes with suffering
ie the death of a loved one (suffering)
understanding that the soul is recycled as the flesh decays to be used by plants and reincarnation and karma is real. your loved one is not really dead. (reduced pain)
*Politeness* I'm not sure pain is a bad thing, as long as it doesn't kill you. Assuming it is a bad thing, one can also reduce pain by taking pain medication
Romance › Re: How To Live A Better Life * by PoliteActivist(op): 10:59am On Jan 20, 2024
