₦airaland Forum

abba09:
swear u hv never suck a dick

Guy, just die that question, because e no follow. You self know say e no follow at all!

I am telling the guy it's not good to demand such from a girl he is not serious about, and you want to make it about me.

If it is about who sin pass, you no suppose to open mouth either. Finish.

Even if there are issues between you two, why should she give you a Mouth Action? At any instance you guys will just be demanding that your wild sexual fantasies be fulfilled. A girl who you're not even sure you want anything serious with.

By the time all these girls you people use 'relationship issues' to convince them to do blow jobs and such become the only girls you can see to marry, you'll start to get angry, saying 99% of Nigerian girls are not decent. Abeg who cause am.

Any small thing 'suck my kini' or do this or do that. Well-done o. Somebody's daughter is who you are turning to your private porn star.

truthCoder:
Dont let those people determine your happiness.

Even the Bible says we should not judge. Any person judging your past decisions and still using that to gaslight you is a wicked fellow. Avoid them.

Surround yourself with people who respect you as an individual.

Be with people who see you for who you really are. People who you can be free to talk with at anytime about anything and you wont be judged.

Get real friends. If you want to discuss more, i am an email away.

Thank you. Your response has been very helpful and will go a long way. God bless.

I would blame myself.

However, this topic just reminds me of people that make me look like a devil, because of what I have done, and keep demanding apologies from me as they see themselves as saints.

I think they must see themselves as saints because there is no confession of wrong or apology from them, only constant demands of apology from me. Only blaming me, looking at me like a devil, expecting eternal guilt and apologies from me. Such people must see themselves as saints. I wonder if they would be able to blame themselves, ever.

JONNYSPUTE:
..... So when a guy is begging for sex, he is not indirectly forcing the girl to an action she doesn't want?

When you continue begging somebody for a job. Don't you also psychologically disabling the person to the extent he or she succumbs against their will?

Tell me. Is that stealing the job?

Alright, you win. Let's call it harassment, not rape.

JONNYSPUTE:
.....I want to learn. Please what are the factors?

Physically torturing or forcing someone is physical rape.

Psychologically disabling someone through wearing their will out to the point of succumbing is an indirect form of rape.

Your example is another case of someone being indirectly forced to take an action they did not want. Being forced to go against their will.

Different names apply but they are all varieties of the same thing.

JONNYSPUTE:
...... So if you needed a job but you are less qualify for it but due to constant begging to the person involved,he or she finally gave in and offer it to you. What wlll you call that? Stealing the job?

See,most times you ladies will just put something in place that will later renounce to affect you people negatively.

Just like the guy his wife refused his old mum from coming to their house because she believes that marriage is between the husband and wife only but never remembered that one day her own mum will get old and sick and will also need a place to stay.

There is physical and psychological forcing, and different factors determine what it really is.

Lemos14:
If you beg a man continuously for money can I term it stealing because he finally decided to give you?

Omo..na only God know how e take create woman logic.

Somehow, that is actually stealing if that man was forced to give through begging. He didn't want to give you, you harassed him until he dropped the money to escape.

One day I went to buy things at a pharmacy. There were some beggars there that always see me buying things all the time there. I give them stuff from time to time. On that day, they were begging as normal. Suddenly they swarmed me and started grabbing at my items while begging, and I quickly dropped almost everything so as to escape. At that moment it was not really begging, but stealing, in a way.

So to answer your question, yes, it's a form of stealing, just like begging for sex to the point of harassment is a form of rape.

To me it is a form of rape. You begged a girl and she did not agree. You kept asking her again and again to the point of exhaustion and breakdown in her psyche. She agreed just to get you off her back, just because she is fed up and tired and upset and manipulated into feeling a lot of guilt.

Next thing you will tell her she agreed. You will tell yourself she agreed.

That's not real agreement. That is agreement due to unbearable pressure.

Normal. Some of us don't really like sex so much, actually. Some people just like a little of it once in a while. Some can't imagine why others obsess over it. I feel asexual people are more likely to be made up of women.

shantti:
How does this related to the story op just told. Did he tell you that his old sick mother troubled his wife. Why r u painting mother in law's black. Aren't there daughter in laws that are demonic and evil.

This is why I never take advise from females, u lot are too sentimental. And I hope u don't find a problem if the op decides not to let his mum in law stay.

That's not a problem, I was just talking about common mother in law problems

Justbehave:
That's why I said that God should never allow to grow to be a mother in-law because you will be among the troublesome mil. Just say amen to my prayers.

Haha! As if the other troublesome ones aren't living. Anyway!!

I plan never to be encroaching on my son, making him my emotional husband, denying his wife of her power and position in her house, simply out of loneliness and old age. May God not make me a dependent, a thorn in his wife's side. Amen!

Amen to THAT!

Justbehave:
May you never grow to be a mother in law. Wicked soul. When we call most of you women fish brain it's because of your type.

Easy for you to say as you are not the one whose relative will be poking hands into your eyes. You care less as the man. Anyway, my theory only applies to interfering and troublesome mother in laws. You can be emotional or you can get it.

GetMeRight:
Aunty didn't even address the issue at hand. Aunty was saying something completely different

Na so o. The issue made me think of something. Its a chat forum o, say your own.

shantti:
Most men too feel inconvenient around their mother in law, not cos of hate but becos of the fear of the unknown.

So try and understand with the op why he wouldn't like to let the woman come to his house.

Just see how u are defending wickedness, u women eh....

Let me tell you something.

When your wife's mother comes, you are able to step out and leave her in the house and escape her if she is troublesome, right? She can't interfere in your workplace or with your leisure time, right?

As for your wife, your mom will be able to enter her back to back. How? She will poke into kitchen affairs which your wife handles. She will poke into house and kids affairs, which your wife handles also. Wherever your wife moves and whatever she does, she will watch and complain. Wives are the ones more likely to be at home - if she sees your wife using her phone, resting or otherwise, she will say she is lazy. Everything, she will chook hand. Unlike you, who will be left alone cuz you are a man.

Father in laws don't poke themselves into affairs like mother in laws do. They don't struggle for affection of their kids with the spouse like mother in laws do. How many times do you see father in laws coming to live in the house, struggling with the son to be holding the most power over their child. Never.

Some mother in laws want to prove to the wife that they are the first love of their son.

Some sons also want only their mom in top position, while wife's relatives have no strong hand or say. It's not just a woman's thing.

Omo.

This polygamy is very bad.

Plus you cannot trust anybody with your child.

The whole story is just giving me bad thoughts ... Renewing my paranoia.

I'm glad the OP escaped the evil plans and charms.

razzydoo:
I really like this your perspective. Plight of women. Quite understandable. But you too don't smell what you won't eat. Most times, you wanna eat your cake and have it. What do you expect? He or she who must dine with the devil must have a long spoon. The game is the game.

OK.

Don't say the girl was aware.

If every time men say they were unwillingly made to spend on a woman, when no one forced their hand...

That's the same way a woman can also be manipulated into sleeping with a man.

Iyaebe is right. Men lie, pressurize and manipulate, guilt trip women into sex. Women they don't love. Women that they are not sure of their faithfulness.

After pregnancy comes in, the guy will start recovering his memory that:

-This is not my dream girl.
-She sleeps around, how can it be mine.
-She is not fine.
-I don't want to marry her...

Etc, etc.

They knowingly contribute to the destruction of women they do not prefer through sex, then start looking for a way out after the consequence.

You as a man can never be caught in the mess of a woman unworthy or a so called LovePeddler unless you also sleep with her like the others. In that case, you are the same as what you detest.

Ashawoman82:
[size=8pt][/size]not that we want them to take care of us, we don't want a liability, we want a woman that could open doors for us with her solid family background...as I de struggle now, I don't want a poor girl that will be collecting the small money I'm making, I want the one that will motivate me, give me better connections etc..look, we naija men don wise up....even if I hit millions today I'll still have nothing to do with poor broke girls...I notice that no matter how broke a man is, he's still better than 70% of naija women..naija has the poorest and most parasitic women in the world

That makes sense, but I still think you guys will love to have no stress while a woman takes care of you.

slystyle203:
Pls stop laughing or mocking those people that married old white woman, for your information it's the easiest way of entering US now. Last year when i was looking for way to travel to US, the agent brought that suggestion to me. According to him,there're lots of elderly American women who are into the deal and it will cost me just 8million. He shown me the ones on ground and stated that once they married them here, the elderly woman will return to US only to start making arrangements with the marriage certificate to bring in her husband. Getting there, she'll accommodate the person for 6months and lay him off. It's a serious deal and those elderly women are making a whole lot of money from it.

Better not give your money to anyone. 8 million ke? Beware of scammers.

Nigerian men also have fantasies of marrying rich beautiful young women from rich families, who would take care of them. Just like they accuse women of doing.

You expect men who treat 27 year old women like they are already 50 years old, to sleep with an actual 50 year old lady?

Men that at 45/50 would be calling a lady of 30 'sister'. As in, dem don turn mates.

Just dey play. Men that are the biggest discriminators against age.

The brutal truth is that nothing guarantees anything.

When they see a virgin they say 'lack of opportunity' to justify going after her. After spoiling the girl or not seeing any virgin around them again, they cry about the scarcity of virgins.

cococandy:
too difficult

Aswear! I will never believe that act people put on that they aren't in other's business. They can't live without it!

Klass99:
Lol at the bolded. I have recently learnt from reading posts which posts to jump and pass, and which users to avoid altogether, to guard againt unwarranted insults and disrespect on these streets.

I am able to pretty much tell from a person's post their state of mind or attitude, which determines if I will engage with them or not. Some users are so notorious that when I see the moniker alone, I jump and pass, without reading their posts or threads.

@ Purples25 & Etrange, I applaud your objective and balanced perspectives on this. I like good content so thanks Mathilde for sharing etrange's post which brought me to the thread in the first place.

Thanks!

Alearna:
Wow!

This is a nice take, but I would argue that young ladies who dress seductively or show "nudity" are also being critiqued. You can see from numerous threads even here on nairaland.

With age comes wisdom, one would expect these older ladies to be smart enough to not copy everything they do in the west, stop craving cheap attentions and validation.
I think at a certain age we should know what vanity is and act accordingly.

Yeah, you're right if this same women are in a problem or the other, people might not be concerned about their well being.

We really have to do better as a community, what legacy are we going to leave for the upcoming generation?.

Ps: There might be typos, but i wouldn't edit it, read am like that.

I'm happy with the way you chose to answer and I see some sense in your opinions.

Another thought has come to my mind though. If people are really decent, what brings them to the arena of nudes and whatnot? Really decent people with strong connections to their religious sides hardly focus on lewd acts, people or attractions. Seems like most of these morality judges are very attracted to the dark side.

Alearna:
Wrong!
So if people are doing things that are dangerous to the community, we should let them continue?

Your "quote" is flawed.

I would find this 'concern' in other people's lives genuine if people also interfere when others are struggling.

When its a social matter, I see the whole community 'wan chook mouth' . But why is it that when these same women are hungry or broke, you all turn your faces away. That is what I call convenient and selective concern. Na the one wey sweet una, una dey chook mouth inside.

Why is it that the same community that claims to care about this, heavily encourages young girls to be sexy and show nudity. Its celebrated on TV and by the same concerned men/society that are so offended by older women or mothers nudity.

If we are ready to talk about the true position of things, if you are really ready to discuss, then we should attack this issue of 'selective aproko'. This is because it makes people like me think its not the deed that is the problem, just the age or state of the woman involved. If it is a young woman, there's no problem. If it's an older woman or pregnant, all Hell's let loose. And if any woman, young , old or pregnant, is in financial need or in dire straits, society ignores them altogether.

That is very bad selective morality.

Why can't people live and let others live?

IyaebeTheGreat:
Father Francis robe kwa una no go kill me for this nairaland

Father Francis robe

Scavvy:
Who or what would you say was the last straw for you.

Very private question . However, what I will say is that there has been a last straw for me...it all ends when you find value in yourself. Finding value in oneself can be a long journey. Sometimes it takes years, but no matter how long, you can actually find that value.