₦airaland Forum

H0711:
Yes I have made up my mind because it has not been easy for me because i take care of her everyday from morning until hubby get home at 7-8pm . It's been a week only and my head want to explode and my body want to give up. I am tired and the level of stress is too much for me in this my condition I need rest not all of this burden . I can't do it anymore. I am not leaving him because of his poor condition it is because I can't take care of his special need child , his financial state hasn't been a problem to me because no condition is permanent I know one day everything will be fine but i can't take care of his special need child in this my condition.

One thing I have noticed so far is that as a person you seem not to have support structures of your own to help during this phase even without this 'incident'.
At 7 months most women, mothers to be will have their relations in, out and about.
Why are you by yourself.
Surely that village you go to will have someone to assist at home for a while, except by choice.

Yeyeoldman:
It breaks my heart when I see people being fooled into believing they are loved unconditionally. People will conviniently walk away from you when the going gets tough.

I see everyone encouraging her to leave but no one is asking her the very important question; what would you have done if the child was yours? Why is nobody interested in the answer to that question? I have an idea, she will walk away. Stop excusing certain things in life.

Now my advice to men and women alike. Stop marrying people you don't know. A lot of people have a very low tolerance for stress and trials of life. Stop being stupid. Date people for as long as possible. Let life test you and your partner. Your relationship have to be proven beyond reasonable doubt to be able to stand the test of time.

There is no excuse for walking away from someone you love. A lot of Nigerians are just marrying and dating to survive. They don't know what love is. Only the luckiest of people ever experience true love. What if this man was in an accident or had a stroke? Is this how she will wake away too? This woman is lazy and obviously don't even know this man.

Nigerians forget about fine face, small waist, big bumbum and Big breast. These things don't matter in marriage. People only realize this when it's already too late.

Hmmm and I guess with this intent to leave, the man too has not 'known' the lady.
The question now will be to every married man and woman reading and replying this thread.... do you know where the 'red line' of your love is for your spouse and more importantly, DO YOU KNOW WHERE HIS OR HER RED LINE IS FOR YOU?

So you can better prepare for the bottomline and possibly buy insurance after the fact.

Naso. They say hindsight is 20/20.

That is the purpose and function of courtship that many disregard and take for granted.

That is where you discover, discuss and decide.

Any spouse that will not submit themself to this should be the red flag that ends the race.

Eleven01:
Lagos state government must put a law of imprisonment on anyone who employs an undocumented security or staff, residents in Lagos, must use private, registered security company, for their own safety.

The ideal will be pan security like you have in developed nations, That is where we should be going and it starts with having state police and then county/local government and then community police.

Having a security guard in each house is akin to the culture of generator and borehole which is expensive, dangerous and primitive.

We should not be registering them but putting an end to that culture.

Whether it is true or not, that the man is aged or not, healthy or not, the message is out there and it is left for Nigerians to make a choice.

The good thing about democracy is the freedom of information, a lot of things are pushed out there so that people cannot feign ignorance when making a choice at the polls but staring reality in the face and damning the consequences when they ballot.

So we have heard repeatedly that Atiku is corrupt, Peter Obi lies a lot, Kwakwanso is a bigot and Asiwaju is unfit.

Whatever choice you make you will be damning a lot of evidence out there and so be prepared to face the consequences.

We have seen where this had led us since 1999 and particularly over the last 7 years because a lot of information was out there in 2014/15 which we deliberately chose to ignore and by that brought this sad situation in Nigeria today upon ourselves.

Restructure Nigeria now. That is the most important thing.

Aqesimitta:
What's the big deal about the world cup

Nigeria has hosted the under 20 and under 17 world cups and has won them years back

So what's the big deal about the world cup?

And you have not observed the terrible decline of this country in all ramifications since then.
Why play the ostrich.

This country's better days are long gone.... And I don't even mean physical decay alone. There is no mental or psychological capacity for nationhood and the kind of unity of purpose to deliver big national quests.

Everyone is presently engaged in battles of survival at all levels and for all reasons. I have not seen a single Nigerian or group of Nigerians in the last decade making any sort of sacrifice for this country and it's citizens.

Show me one.

Samunique:
But the man didn't state any reason why Buhari should not be impeached

That's why it's very difficult to defend Buhari.

He said you folks should 'not rock the boat', as his reason.
Which is really sad because the more some people go out to defend this man and make him as 'comfortable' in Aso Rock as possible the more he lets them down with shoddy governance.
At least he should be helping his 'defenders' breathe from time to time with a ray of hope, but no.
Just breaking records week after week with shocking news coming from his stable.
Even the hardcore fanatics on this forum are embarrassed into silent sound bites and half hearted one liners.

maestroferddi:
Man City have never prioritised the Community Shield.

They have lost to Arsenal, Leicester in past seasons.

This Nunez celebrating like he has just won the World Cup will soon discover say na EPL e enter when the real business starts from next weekend.

Una do start again.
Pep played his full squad so did Klopp of Liverpool.
I did not see any drama and did not see any holding back.
Both teams played to win so forget there was a trophy or shield or whatever at stake.
This was a battle on neutral ground that proved one team is better for now and better prepared to start the seasonal quest next week.

Why does Pep and his City team finds it hard to dominate teams in Cup games.

And Haaland did a Yakubu to crown his disjointed performance.
There is always something not quite right about tall, gangling strikers.
Hope Pep can find another way to play him or else his potentials will remain just that.
Mr. Haaland, welcome to the Premiership.

kennyz247:
while you wait,go and enjoy arsenal trashing sevila by 4:0
arsenal no go make heaven aswear.haba

They are over playing Gabriel Jesus in my opinion and the risk of injury or early burnout is there.
They should get a proper backup for that lad.... that Eddie Nketiah fellow is too lazy to be a replacement.
More like having a bicycle tyre in your trunk during a puncture.

mach7:
Good, they should go in peace as water will always find its level. I do find it strange that they are comfortable supporting a party that is fielding a Northern Fulani candidate when power is meant to rotate to the South.

It is now clear that BD Lawal was never a true friend of Asiwaju. He simply latched on to his Presidential bid in order to get the VP for either himself or his relative Boss Mustapha.

As for Dogara, there is nothing surprising here. He had always been a PDP man. He is simply going back to his roots. Even if Dogara was the only Christian in the North, Asiwaju will never have picked him.

Honestly though in this their new adventure, I wish them well same with Daniel Bwala.

But it is equally not just for the south west to get a shot again since it had it between 1999 and 2003.

There is no way to square this circle of injustice. It is this attempt that has foisted the same religion presidency and further imbalance.

What is the difference between the injustice of a Fulani after Fulani presidency and that of a Muslim - Muslim ticket and a proposed South west 16 year rule when it is clearly the turn of the south east, none.

Everyone is just marketing his own poison of injustice as the tonic of national renewal.

The question is which of this will kill the country faster or slower depending on ones palette for life.

It will have been better if 2023 was not about religion but Nigerians are not ready yet to face their challenges square on.

If we really wanted God to be hands on in our affairs then we should be prepared to go all the way with him, but so often we start this way and thereafter do what we please.

I totally agree and was in discussion with someone yesterday on this exact topic.

In some other climes young men and women through credit can access the best college education on offer. When they graduate they can focus on their professions and grow organically because their basic needs, housing, transport, etc are once again accessible via credit.

And because their lives are structured they are incentified to build careers.

Here, everything has to be paid for on the fly and even in advance in most cases putting huge pressures on young people to build financial warchests upfront to educate themselves and as young adults to settle down into family life.

There is no greater pressure to cut corners and go rogue than this

IYDigitskill:
According to the media expert, the BBC cannot use its airwaves to provide voice to terrorists who are attacking UK residents because doing so will elicit public outrage with legal repercussions.
“Journalists and now a global media organisation of repute, the BBC, https:///3beqyMA which should know better, are becoming a tool for terrorists, even if unwittingly, by amplifying the faces, voices and stories of killers and marauders who are still operating with impunity across Nigeria,” she wrote.
All what i can say is God will help us in this country, different news everyday.

Government there will caution the media because they will be SEEN to be on top of the situation with fidelity. That is apprehending and prosecuting them without fear or favour, but with honesty and diligence.

Here the people are not sure about the government's sincerity so they seek the truth elsewhere and WILL NOT condemn the expose.

That is the big difference. Abroad a crime is a crime no matter who is doing it, here as the old saying goes, insecticide for some and perfume for others.

It is not the BBC that turbaned the bandit leader and uploaded the event online with government appointees in attendance to which no one has been arrested or appeared in court.

Trust is the currency of governance without which citizens have the right to look elsewhere for the truth.

We the citizens are rather outraged at government.

Buccalcavity2:
I initially dismissed Lai Mohammed's criticism but reading the details of Kadiara's write-up, she has many valid points. It was wrong for BBC to project those terrorists in the name 'telling the truth of Zamfara terrorism'

What exactly would you rather have covered up.

Splitmind:
That documentary must never be seen by anyone else for the sake of national interest.

What is national interest?,
Who is the nation or who owns this nation.
In whose interest is it to cover such stories up....

Throwback:
She made valid points.

But government talk say, 'If you see something say something', why dey come dey vex nau.

This is exactly why government cannot attract investment into the economy, both local and foreign. it has next to zero credibility. Why order for what you cannot afford.

We really need to up our game particularly the judiciary and other institutions or arbitration or else the economy will become a wasteland. No nation can generate the kind of resources needed to develop rapidly on its own and we urgently require investment as a cheaper alternative to credit to move us forward.

This is discouraging.

FireUpNow:
I thought the smallest finger is called pinki finger?

Slang.

Indeed.

There are far too many parties.
Does not represent an efficient democratic machine and says a lot about the ability of the citizens to crystalize their desires into ideologies.

For heavens sake which sensible peoples seeking to advance and develop will have 30 divergent ways, ideas or ideologies as vehicles to take them there.

That state is long overdue for a change in the political landscape. The people just have to broaden their options and create competitive democracy for their own good and retire the strongmen holding their destinies captive.

MuslimIgbo:
Idiotṣ

They been on this for almost 4 years.

VERY SLOW PACE

Urban infrastructure takes much longer due to access and obstruction.
The logistics in getting materials to site alone on a daily basis is hectic as there is nowhere to store anything closeby not to talk about the cost and difficulty of relocation of existing structures and services.

That is why in other climes where possible they just go underground, but Lagos being practically at groundwater level this will be impracticable or horrendously expensive.

So relax. No city in the world builds to finish a metro in a generation.
The only thing they could have done better was to concentrate on a single line for completion, the most important line before embarking on expansions from this line to serve other locations.

mach7:
Inasmuch as I am dismayed with this government, this is a right step.

The very thing terrorists need is publicity. The more our media houses keep glorifying terrorists or giving them unnecessary media attention, the more their objective is being achieved.

What the BBC does in Nigeria, I bet they will never allow a Nigerian station to do same in the UK.

Oga, the BBC has reported about ISIS, they have interview FARC guerillas, LRA insurgents, Arafat of the PLO and many, many more violent non state actors including figures from the IRA back in their country.

It in no way glorifies of approves of their actions or grants them more publicity than they get themselves or from the local press rather it further exposes them and broadens the knowledge of the ideology behind these groups making it easier for objective governments and authorities to find better antidotes.

Just like diseases and pandemics, you don't solve them quickly by concealment.

This is just a meeting a mere Q & A session where selected information is provided aka what the boss wants to hear.

What we need at a time like this is a 'Situation Room' or 'War Room' (UK) in and around the Villa where Mr. President can get raw data, unfiltered from the field and field commanders in real time.

Nigeria by now should have encrypted videography and encoded communication accessible in Aso Rock such that Mr. President can walk into the war room at any time, 24hrs and get first rate information from any theatre or field of engagement so he can personally get involved.

We are technically at a war footing for heavens sake.
This cannot be solved this way. It is too lax. These 'Chiefs' are not projecting the real situation on ground to the C-in-C.
I vividly remember the capture of Osama by the US Navy and how President Obama was present through the final hours sitting around his advisers and general and 'pressing the flesh'.

That is a system where people are in touch and in charge.

It will never be enough because you guys are chasing a mirage, a vicious cycle.

The more people you put in poverty through misgovernance the more people you put in crime and the more guns and bullets you have to buy to kill them and the more money you need to pull out of the economy..... and the more people you put in crime.... and the more guns and bullets you have to buy and on and on.... a vicious cycle that will never end till the termites eat the entire country up.

But can we remember when we jumped on this calamitous merry go round eh.... when we said we were going to crush, crush, crush protesters, agitators for determination all over the country instead of talk, talk, talk.... driving ordinary angry men and women into the hands of criminals and criminals into the hands of terrorists.

Can we remember there was a time the Head of Boko Haram was apprehended and in custody...?
Can we remember there was a time folks in the south east were carrying placards on the streets...?
Today the mess a few created in government out of bravado and pride in crush, crush, crush, has crushed the whole economy and impoverished every single citizen of this country including the president himself.

For anyone's onshore wealth has declined by 60 percent in real terms since 2015.... that is a fact.
Elections do have serious consequences and government actions have a potential to bury her citizens alive when misguided.

And all this is for what?
You landed at an airport.... so?

Disgusting, just disgusting.

You took hold of a struggling economy and completely bankrupted it, how is that better?
We are now effectively borrowing to pay interest on stupid loans that have negatively impacted productivity and the economy and that has only ended up fueling inflation.

And the vicious downward spiral continues as you put millions more people in poverty you have to deplete every savings left to buy guns and bullets to kill them when they turn to crime.

What a mess.

Bobloco:
“Two inches offside, no referee, no linesman in the history of football would disallow that goal in these circumstances, only the VAR,” -Mourinho

Mourinho: VAR means referee ‘hidden in an office’

"The referee is hidden in some office, this man on the pitch is not the referee, he doesn’t make the decisions.

“The main decisions made in football now are being made by the man in the office.”

In this off season, a few days ago I stumbled on a replay of the 1992 Euro finals where Denmark beat Germany to the Cup having participated in the tournament by default.

Their winning goal, the only goal of the match would not have stood today as it was clearly hand assisted.

For the neutrals VAR will have robbed them of that fairy tale run.

bewise24:
We must understand that: 1. the kind of federalism we operate does not encourage productivity as emphasis is always on "sharing formular" 2. that the north is dragging us back because of its refusal to adjust to the realities of the 21st century. 3 any president, regardless of his place of origin, who attempts to end some of the cultural cum religious practices hindering the dev of the north/Nigeria will meet brick walls. 4 that the east and the west must helplessly be at logger head with current system. if they unite and produce a president, the northern conservatives will create rebel groups that would make the country ungovernable. 5 that only resourse countrol or dissolution can lead to the dev of areas constituting the FRN today.

Good morning (pun not intended).
The summary of all these is clear.
That without restructuring Nigeria simply cannot survive and will soon go into extinction as an entity.

We said it loud and clear, repeatedly for the last 25 years.