₦airaland Forum

At this rate, the Nigerian police will soon start asking people to produce receipts for body parts eg. where is the receipt for the head on top of your neck, or the balls inside your trousers or the mouth attached to your head.
Very soon,

Even though the rate of laptop snatching in Nigeria is high, I am yet to hear that the police recovered anybody's laptop before, ever.

Intolerance.

This is the bane of our society and the very reason why we keep killing each other in Nigeria. This forum should be one for exchanging ideas and opinion, not to castigate and crucify each other.

The Calabar terrorist/madman said he was sent by Jesus. That does not make him a representative of all Christians. Even the devil can pronounce that name. In the same vane, Mutallab does not represent all Muslims. The man is a terrorist in the making, plain and simple. He is also crazy. And so are all terrorist and all that aim to take innocent lives.

Whether he is a Christian or Muslim or Animist is another issue entirely.

The $5m will be sent to Haiti through the Senate & Hose of Reps, the Ministry of Finance, Ministry of foreign affairs, the Nigerian High Commission in Port Au Prince before it gets to the Haitians. How much do you think will eventually get there? This is Naija! Obvious ways to siphon money into personal bank accounts.

The demand by employers for all these degrees is simply a method they adopt to reduce the number of applicants to job positions. Simply a way for HR to make their work a bit easier.

This method however, erroneously assumes that the more degrees you have, the better qualified you are for the job. Unfortunately, a lot of talented candidates with potential are lost simply because they don't have advanced degrees or several years of work experience.

So, while I think that most people are over qualified for the jobs they apply for, it still does not mean that they are suitable for those jobs. Being a PhD holder in mechanical engineering does not mean one knows how to operate a lathe machine nor weld two metal pieces together. And that is where a distinction should be drawn between experience and qualifications.

Now the surprising thing is - one can get experience for free but must pay for qualifications. Ever thought about volunteer work, work for free?? Ever heard of free college degrees, besides scholarship?

Mama Bomboy
Bitch
Shawty

I guess any girl would hate any of those

Who's the punk who just stuck his picture up there? This is no facebook ooh

What if a Yar'Adua lookalike has been smuggled into the country and is presently undergoing speech and attitudinal training?

What if this person is a ventriloquist and can mimick the voice of anybody?

What if Physical Therapists from South Africa are also working on his gait to fit that of Yar'Adua?

What if Specialist Plastic Surgeons from North Korea have also been flown in to perfect his facial features to match that of Mr President?

What if he will address the nation very soon, and will take over power from Goodluck pending the next elections when he will not contest the next elections?

What if the ongoing story of his ill-health are to buy time to perfect work on this Yar'Adua look alike, which will happen very soon?

What if this is all goofy shit

Qaddafi may be a 'mad man'.
But when next he visits Nigeria, we will close our airport, cancel all flights, block the streets of Abuja, roll out the red carpet and host him and his entourage to a State banquet where the Senate president and their likes will be struggling to grab his phalanges while CNN and BBC eagerly witness.

The aggrieved passenger should have maintained his stance and probably have the ADC shove him off the seat. Then he can go ahead and sue him for assault. He is a lawyer. He should know better. If we do not claim our rights, we will always be wronged and nothing will come out of it.

Trust Nairalanders when you it comes to sympathy and advice.

@KC
Invite a female friend to spend the night at your place.
Then call your girlfriend and tell her about it.
Tell her she only came over to play WHOT/Ludo with you for the night.
Wait for her reaction.
Take your decision.
Good luck

What if your rent is due for renewal, and your landlord is your pastor?

What if all were an ongoing experiment to figure out how a country would react in the absence of a head of government? in the 'absence of Mr President, it does seem that all that could go wrong has. From the near collapse of the amnesty in the Niger Delta, attempt by a Nigeria to blow up a US bound flight, the violence in Jos to the branding of Nigeria as a 'country of interest'.

Is someone/some people out there orchestrating that scenario where a nations wades through a storm like a rudderless ship? Could this be an attempt to identify the cabal truly in charge of Nigeria? How has the global price of crude oil been impacted by all these? Isn't it a coincidence that the lingering petrol scarcity started as soon as Mr President went missing in action? Why is no one asking what's really wrong with Mr President? Kidney problem? Heart disease? Progressively scrawly skin? Any doctor in the house to knock those symptoms together?

What if Mr President has been kidnapped?

Who do we believe??

The Protest Letter
I write in protest against the events that took place at the Lagos-Ipaja NYSC Camp during the registration exercise on November 3, 2009. This year, the NYSC has decided to force pregnancy tests on all female corps members. It is my understanding that mandatory pregnancy tests were introduced last year and previous batches had been forced to undergo the tests under all manners of conditions. Having heard of previous batches doing 'press and check' pregnancy tests, and having listened to live accounts from members of this year's Batch A (Oyo camp), being forced to share as little as 20 test tubes between hundreds of girls where the tubes were 'disinfected' by being dipped in a shared bucket of water with a capful of diluted dettol, I imagined that by the time Batch C began their camp experience, the NYSC would have gotten their acts together and scrapped the test. However, the truth could not have been any more different.

Upon our arrival at the Ipaja camp in Lagos , my friends and I were separated from all male registrants and shepherded to the back of the main registration building. Many of us were confused and had no idea what to expect. We were soon informed, through a megaphone, that we were to have forced pregnancy tests. After forming a line that stretched around the building, we girls tried to locate where the clinic where they would conduct the test was located. All we saw were two men and two women seated at a table and a nearby curtain rod. Two mattresses had been placed over the rod in a corner of the grassy patch behind the registration table. This makeshift 'room' with only one 'wall', was where we would be forced to undergo pregnancy tests.

When asked why we had to have pregnancy tests instead of proceeding with registration along with our male counterparts, we were told that it was to weed out the 'liars' amongst us. The NYSC officials present informed us that every year, they have girls who try to gain exemption from the camp experience by claiming they are pregnant. They stated that the girls usually claim not to be pregnant when registering during the first few days of the orientation camp, only to 'spring' a pregnancy up as an excuse once the strenuous exercises of the camp begins. As such, they had deemed it necessary to force all females to undergo pregnancy tests.

Though we tried to dispute the logic behind such reasoning, we were told to keep quiet. We were then instructed to move in batches of three behind the mattresses, to grab a plastic bottle from a carton box, to remove our trousers and skirts and urinate into three 'holes' dug into the ground. Behind the mattresses stood three women who inspected us as we urinated into the plastic bottles. Once we were able to produce urine, they would then stick a pregnancy test 'stick' into the bottle and hand the stick to us. We were then to take these sticks and present it to the people seated at the table next to the 'testing area'. These people would then present us with a piece of paper declaring the results of our test. If you tested negative, you were allowed to proceed with registration. If you tested positive, you would be sent out of the camp.


While standing in line, the girls moved forward in groups of three. Any girl unable to urinate on demand, was immediately berated and humiliated and shoved out of the testing area to stand in a corner. We were not provided with any water or drinks and girls who had nothing in their stomachs had to stand for hours until their bodies produced urine. Those girls who had some money were told to buy water for themselves. Many girls, despite drinking up to four large bottles of water were still unable to urinate. This was no doubt due to the psychological pressure of being herded like cows and insulted with each attempt. Every time girls went behind the mattresses, the women would deride those of us who could not urinate in loud voices. "ARE YOU STUPID? They would ask. WHY CAN"T YOU URINATE? COME ON GET OUT IF YOU ARE NOT READY TO PISS! YOU WILL NOT REGISTER TODAY!"

The pressure to urinate, coupled with the threats coming from the women 'supervisors' led to some breakdowns. One friend, in sobs, called home. She had drunk water to the point of having a distended stomach, yet every time she saw the maggot filled hole where we were to urinate could not produce any urine. After four hours of standing in the sun, and ten attempts, she was finally able to produce a small amount.

The girls who were able to urinate easily, still faced difficulties. As quite a number of the pregnancy sticks were faulty and read in error, showing neither the tell-tale pink or blue colours. Some girls, after waiting for hours to produce urine, were told to return to the line to urinate again when their tests did not read clearly. Any girl who protested at was disqualified from registering that day.

Given our physical makeup, girls are not able to aim easily into plastic bottles. As a result of our inability to aim their urine, many girls urinated onto their arms, bodies and clothes by accident. The majority of girls had urine-drenched hands resulting from their attempts to force the urine into the bottles. Despite the fact that their hands and arms were covered with urine, the girls were not allowed to wash their hands. Instead they were forced to sign a register with their name, state of origin, telephone number and NYSC number as the urine dripped onto the registration book. Subsequent girls had to handle the same pen and book clumsily as they balanced their bottles of urine and pregnancy test sticks in their hand as the supervisors screamed that "ANY GIRL CAUGHT WASHING HER HANDS BEFORE SIGNING WOULD BE SENT OUT OF THE CAMP."

In my frustration, I asked one of the supervisors if she had been forced to take such a test when she served in the NYSC. "Of course not", she replied "But you girls of today are liars. We cannot trust you so we must force you." I asked the official, "Why not just test the girls who claim they are pregnant?" Another girl suggested that the NYSC camp should simply assign a clinic within each state where the tests could be conducted under sterile and clean conditions. Each suggestion was met with insults, as we were asked if we knew better than the NYSC. They insisted that as we are all liars we should be treated as such.

Apparently, the NYSC was operating under a number of assumptions.

1) That all the girls present were sexually active

2) That all the girls present were willing to hide a pregnancy while serving

3) That any girl, if pregnant, would immediately seek an exemption from the service year

4) That any girl, if pregnant, no matter what stage in her pregnancy, would be unable to participate in the camp exercises.


While I understand that the NYSC may have been concerned that some pregnant girls could miscarry while in the orientation camp, this concern does not warrant their extreme actions. All the females in that camp were above university age. Many of the women there were married and had children of their own. At such an age, a woman is capable of determining for herself whether she is fit enough to attend a camp for three weeks. In a world where women athletes continue to participate in their profession, while pregnant, and a world where women soldiers, marry and bear children and still serve their country, is such action on the part of NYSC warranted? Furthermore, forcibly submitting all corpers to unhygienic and dehumanising tests does not achieve anything. The few girls who they discovered were pregnant, were already aware of their pregnancies. They had already determined and cleared with their doctors, that they were fit to attend the orientation camp.

Meanwhile, as we underwent the tests, our male counterparts, breezed through their registration process. No one stopped them to test if they had impregnated anyone recently. No one even tested them for STDs. Few of our male colleagues were even aware of the pregnancy tests and the sexual discrimination taking place despite the fact that the registration hall walls were transparent and the pregnancy tests were taking place right in front of the transparent walls.

All around the camp, NYSC had posted signs saying PREGNANT OR NURSING MOTHERS ARE FORBIDDEN FROM SERVING. I worry that while they force pregnancy tests on us this year, the next year they may force 'nursing mothers' tests on all serving female Corpers, asking us to strip down as they feel our breasts to see if they are producing milk.

As I underwent this test, I informed my fellow corpers that we should protest formally. Many of the girls insisted that no one would listen to us. Some of them stated, "This is Nigeria , nobody cares about us. As far as they are concerned, we are nothing but animals, because we finished university." They advised that maybe the students who had gone to university abroad should lead the protest, "as the foreign students have all the privileges." A number of people there were under the impression that we were being treated this way because "this is Nigeria ." Regardless, having hope that through dignified and respectful protest, and under the recommendation of the girls present, I took pictures of the conditions under which we underwent the test with my phone. I am ready to provide these pictures so that there can be no accusation of lack of evidence on the part of the NYSC.

The orientation exercise is stressful enough. The camp experience, all around the country, is difficult for anyone to survive. I have been told that in the old days, the NYSC experience was an enjoyable one and that women were not submitted to the shame of open-air pregnancy tests. This year however, there was only shame, frustration and anger. We were shamed that we had to bare our bottoms in the open air in front of strangers. We were shamed that people in the house behind the mattresses watched us bare our bodies to their amusement. We were shamed that the male 'doctors', who were corpers themselves, were the ones who handled our fate in their hands. We were frustrated that there was no one willing to listen to us, no one willing to allow us the mere decency of taking the tests in a covered area. We imagined that if the conditions surrounding the test were this bad in the Lagos camp, then what were our sisters in Kogi, Anambra, Kano, Enugu, undergoing? We were angry that we were 'welcomed' to the camp in this manner. We were angry that we were frequently verbally insulted as we took the tests and treated like infants and animals. Many corpers who had returned from abroad, with idealistic dreams of doing something positive for their were rudely awakened by their treatment, while students who had gone to universities in Nigeria renewed their vows to someday flee the country. Given this NYSC treatment, is it no wonder then that our youth continue to flee this country in swarms and droves? That so many Nigerians would rather die in the desert trying to cross to Europe or sell off everything for the chance to live abroad than to live and serve in a country that has no regard for them?

I beseech you now, on behalf of all corpers in this present batch and future batches, to do something about this test. The NYSC experience is clearly already difficult enough with its 4 am drills, lack of water, cramped sleeping conditions and blocked or non-existent toilets. While many fell ill within the first week from the deplorable sanitary conditions, this is a complaint that never changes. However, this pregnancy test is new. My mother's generation did not do it and neither did the previous NYSC batches this decade. I refuse to accept that this is 'how it must be' because "This is Nigeria ." I believe in a Nigeria that is capable of rebranding itself. I believe in a Nigeria that can shed its negative image and be viewed in a positive light. I believe in a Nigeria where citizens and leaders can work hand in hand to overcome the challenges facing the nation.

I do not believe in a Nigeria where the youth have no voice. So now, I write this letter of protest, on behalf of my batch mates in Lagos and around the country asking that the NYSC should not force any more open-air pregnancy tests on its corpers. We ask that that NYSC listens to the feedback it is getting. We ask that the NYSC consults its past and present corpers in order to find a more viable and respectful solution to the issue of pregnant corpers who seek exemptions.

We insist that Nigeria is our country, and as people who willingly take part in the NYSC scheme, wanting to serve our country, that Nigeria grants us the ability to maintain our dignity and hold our head high as we wear its uniform. That, as we struggle to serve our country, our country serves us as well. I sign this letter, with the Utmost Regard and Sincerity.

Ms Ajao is a Batch C, 2009, female youth corps member currently serving in Lagos State .



The Response

NATIONAL YOUTH SERVICE CORPS
National Directorate Headquarters
Plot 416, Tigris Crescent
Off Aguiyi Ironsi Street
Yakubu Gowon House
Maitama - Abuja


RE: ALLEGED FORCED MANDATORY OPEN AIR PREGNANCY TEST ON FEMALE CORPS MEMBERS IN THE LAGOS NYSC CAMP PUBLISHED IN THE GUARDIAN NEWSPAPER OF SUNDAY 20TH DECEMBER, 2009: THE POSITION OF THE SCHEME

i. The policy of pregnancy test started in 2003 as a result of Management’s efforts to address increasing cases of miscarriages due to the rigorous nature of some of the activities at the Orientation Camps. Some of these miscarriages come with attendant health implications. When such cases were becoming rampant, out of concern for the health of both the mother and the child, Management decided to ask Pregnant prospective Corps members to stay away from the Camp until they are delivered. The logic behind the Pregnancy test is to therefore safeguard the lives of both the mother and child and not to “weed out liars” as claimed by the writer.

ii. Members of staff of NYSC are known to be humane and cordial in their dealings with Corps members. The allegation that Corps members were shouted upon will not have been true and the reason behind assigning female members of staff to supervise the specimen taken, is to curtail some desperate Corps members from submitting third party urine.

iii. The claim that they were given plastics to urinate in is not true as NYSC Management provided sterile bottles for female Corps members to submit their urine specimen. They were also provided with water and disinfectant to wash their hands after the exercise.

2. We wish to emphasize that NYSC is a human Scheme that is mother and baby friendly and is conducting this test out of genuine concern for the lives of these Corps members.

3. While assuring all and sundry of our total commitment and regard for human rights and gender equality, please accept the assurances of our warm regards and esteem.

Signed
NYSC MANAGEMENT

28TH DECEMBER, 2009

I guess this associate suicide bomber (on probation) just wanted to draw attention to himself and Nigeria.

He is obviously not a product of Nigeria. 419ers, internet scammers, kidnappers, armed robbers, miracle workers, pilferers, artful dodgers, the list continues. Suicide bombers aint one of them. Why, you may ask. Because THERE IS NOTHING IN IT FOR THE BOMBER. Nigerians are not known to engage in any business, task or assignment where THERE IS NOTHING IN IT FOR THEM.

Having said that, as an aftermath of this attempt, maybe Nigerians will start to behave themselves when they board international flights.

The era of huddling together along the aisle talking trash in the name of gisting and disturbing the peace of other passengers, the era of jumping up and down prior to landing, the era of colonising the lavatory just because you chop beans or overchop eba, the era of simply being rude and exhibiting an I-no-send attitude aboard flights is over.

For the next passenger willing to try it out, they still haven't closed Guantanamo, not yet.

"Edochie said his kidnappers told him they were not happy at the situation in the country. He said they told him that they were into the criminal act because they wanted to get their own share of the wealth being displayed by politicians. He said the kidnappers stated that although people were repulsed by the act of seizing people, there was nothing else they could do."

http://www.thisdayonline.com/nview.php?id=152044

I really think that this is pathetic. If kidnapping is a protest against politicians, does this make Pete Edochie a politician?

Naija!!!!!!!!!!!!

The same pen and paper used to sign an amnesty deal
was used to sign the Niger Delta ministry into existence
and also the Power probe panel, and their report
and also the Niger Delta 60 man chop chop panel report in abuja
and also the 2nd Niger bridge
and also the Benin Ore road contract

And so, amnesty is extended to freedom fighters
but not to the soldiers jailed for life for demonstrating peacefully over their witheld UN peacekeeping allowance

E be like say the rice don land sef
No be Naija again
Recent rampant case of runny tummy

Make dey no kidnap the guy ooh
This country can be crazy at times

I bet the airplane with the arms and all will disappear into thin air by the time it is established who actually placed the order for the weapons. No be Naija again
It will disappear the same way Abacha's loots disappeared

Beline,
The man you described in your post does not convey any semblance of your father. I thus wonder why his opinion counts at this point in your life.
IF YOUR NARRATION IS TRUE, then you should seek the opinion and blessing of your parent(s).

The man should go for a test if he has no skeleton left in his cupboard.
The woman can as well fulfil all righteousness by going for a test, clear herself and give this man ABSOLUTELY NO REASON not to go for a test, i.e. if he is still interest in the marriage.

It's probably high time our unemployed youths started thinking of going back to the roots.
Back to agriculture, back to nature's own source of riches.

Nigeria is undoubtably a consuming nation. This country puchases almost all that she consumes. This implies that as a poultry farmer for instance, your pocket is the sink for every Nigerian that consumes chicken, and there are millions of them ON A DAILY BASIS.

Most of Nigeria's soil are arable and conducive for farming. But many would rather resort to armed robbery, 419, drug trafficking, gate crashing at job interviews and test centres years after graduation.

Yes, agriculture requires capital. But most of what it needs is the desire to take it up and half the attention it takes to monitor your email and scouting the internet for the next mugu.

If the Nigerian unemployment situation throws a stone at you, hurl a brick at it.

Photographer
Fashion designer
Fish farmer
Event organiser, you dont need NEPA for this
Mechanic, nor for this
Hair Stylist, nor this (weaving etc)

The list of multimillion Naira earning professions in a consumer nation is Nigeria is endless

First,
I would take any info I get from Saharareporters with a pinch of salt.

Second,
N12m is just about right if we are talking of basic salary. If we are talking of gross, then that is peanuts for a CBN governor. That's about the gross for starters in some oil multinational firms

Typically what happens when you marry the wrong woman
Sorry my dear. If you aint cheating on her, then resort to prayers

sounds like a man

I guess all the journalist had to do was seek permission before brandishing his camera. You don't just jump into someone premises and start shooting, especially a business premises like Christ Embassy.
But if you think you have a case, then go ahead and sue him He sure can afford N200m, just like that, that is if he loses.

Since you are dying inside, I guess you are better off marrying her. It is better to try than never to have tried. She might even outlive you. Abi you be God?

Had sex, contacted staph, diagnosed, treated, all within 8 days!!??

Abeg eee!!!

If indeed you've contacted staph, then you must have done so a while ago, while it chose now to manifest the symptoms.

Abstinence remains the best form of protection against STDs. And where body dey shake you like paper, kukuma use a condom/insist your bobo uses one.

As per the famous withdrawal, It is easier for the proverbial camel to , than for a man, with a full blown concrete-hard penis seconds away from orgasm to pull out of hole .

Live and learn

Justice Secretary Jack Straw's email account has been hacked by internet fraudsters who sent out messages to hundreds of his contacts which claimed he was stranded in Nigeria and needed 3,000 dollars to fly home.


Mr Straw confirmed the emails had been sent to a "significant number of people" in his address book


The con artists, believed to be Nigerian, accessed the Justice Minister's Blackburn office account and sent out emails which said he had lost his wallet while on charity work in Africa.

It is believed up to 200 emails, which carried the official heading The Right Hon Jack Straw MP, were sent to constituents, Ministry of Justice officials, Labour members and council bosses.

Mr Straw confirmed the emails had been sent to a "significant number of people" in his address book.

He said there were no security issues relating to his cabinet post as it was his Blackburn email address that was targeted.

He added: "I started getting phone calls from various constituents asking if I was really in Nigeria needing 3,000 dollars.

"It was an issue for constituents, not the Government. We are checking all that and I am assured there's no evidence that confidentiality of constituents was affected," said the 62-year-old.

The Blackburn MP, who set up the National Hi-Tech Crime Unit to crack down on internet hackers when he was Home Secretary in 2001, added: "A lot of work goes on by the serious organised crime organisation in this country.

"The internet is wonderful in many ways, but these gangs put a lot of effort in because they make money from it. In a lot of cases they do get people to cough up.

"But I think it was so obviously ridiculous that I could go off trekking in Africa and I would lose my wallet."

The email, sent on Thursday, said Mr Straw was travelling to Africa for a project called Empowering Youth to Fight Racism, and was at an address in the Nigerian capital Lagos.

He is quoted as saying: "I misplaced my wallet on my way to the hotel where my money and other valuable things were kept.

"I would like you to assist me with a soft loan urgently to settle my hotel bills and get myself back home."

One constituent is believed to have replied to the email, but nobody offered any money.

The Hotmail account was later suspended by Microsoft officials.


http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/politics/lawandorder/4797260/Jack-Straws-email-account-hacked-by-fraudsters.html

@Tubbytubby
Thanks for the exposition. Kindly provide more proof, documentary evidence and stuff. It's going to make your allegation less one-sided, which is what it is for now.

I think HiTV is just another ripoff. Typically Nigerian