₦airaland Forum

The mistake you have made is trying to deduce your dream to a waking life experience verbatim. Realistically, your dream is a positive one that connotes satisfaction and has nothing to do with your ex.

Let her be till her mind comes down, and not only that, until she shows appreciative continual signs of recognizing and respecting your rights to liberty in words and deeds. Provided that all you said is the truth of all that transpired among you. When that is done, you can then continue treating her queenly as every diligent mother, wife, and sane human being in general should under normal circumstances. Your goal should always be striving to do what you know is right at any given time, just as you did under the scenario, regardless of how palatable or unpalatable it seems.

The highest and most fulfilling point of living remains striving to do anything you know is right at any given time without minding losing anyone or anything on principle.

Year in, year out, you have continued to self-destruct yourself with your sententious and grandiose self-image promoting, deceitful, conceited, and disingenuous attitude, with the worst and most irritating part of it all being your usual delight in being contemptuous towards men.

Anyway, I pray that the divine and psychological help you need, with or without knowing, locates you ASAP.

No wonder Atiku is the current president of Nigeria because he equally predicted that he would defeat Buhari during the 2019 elections. Charlatan.

Moh247:




Reno looking for a way to jump ship, as it's clear Obi and Atiku would cancel out PDP votes


Weyrey

Wealth without enterprise

TheNation newspaper
TVC
MaxFM
Oando(shares)
INTELS(shares)
Remita Platform
Alphabeta LLC
Continental Hotels (Sold)
Renaissance hotel


.

By ignorantly, pretentiously, or mischievously attributing other people's companies to BAT, you're doing him more bad than good. Among others, he has never been part or full owner of Remita and Renaissance hotels.

[quote author=tinsel post=116970290][/quote]Once more, the listed Don Etiebet is alive. His full name is Donatus Obot Etiebet (fondly called Chief Don Etiebet). He was the former petroleum minister and younger brother of the late former governor of old Cross River State, Senator Donald Dick Etiebet.

The joke is on you and the ignorant journalist/news vendor.

The listed Chief Don Etiebet is still alive.

descarado:
No matter how educated, exposed and rich a Nigerian man is, his greatest weakness is inferiority complex and identity crises

And both are psychological.

You've always been one closet chauvinistic and misandristic element on this forum over the years starting from when you were using your foremost moniker. Stop using every little opportunity you find to exhibit and mete out contempt towards the Nigerian men; just tone down on that before you become a victim of your own contempt; stop projecting the little men in your life on the generality of Nigerian men.

Most of you've got a poor/absurd concept of respect. Even if your brother is the sole breadwinner in their union, I don't see how a wife sending her husband on a just errand (a wife expecting/reminding her husband to be diligent) amounts to disrespect to him.

Like in this scenario here, telling him to go and check whether the woman that sells provisions is back showed that there was a pre-existing arrangement between the husband and the provisions seller. So, I wonder how she erred by reminding her husband to strive to bring the arrangement to fruition. And don't tell me that you had expected her not to send such a request to her husband because of your presence, citing that you're a brother-in-law and obviously wasn't having some kind of formal deliberation with him.

Eschew needless pride.

CaptainZubi:
Most of them no get money. No let anybody deceive you, obodo oyinbo no easy. The system is designed to make you work your black ass like a slave for someone, get paid with one hand then the government use another hand to collect am. Some people have lived abroad for 20 years but can't even boast of $15000 as savings. People who go there and make it big with riches they start building mansions back in nigeria are into one shady deal or the other. No let them deceive you, the money no legit. Usually wire wire, BEC, drugs, robbery and all forms of fraud.

The way bumpkins like you are always quick to project yourselves on others and cast aspersions on them unjustly is both irritating and funny.

Bumpkin, no, not everyone who has been privileged to make it big within a few months or years after traveling abroad made it through dubious means. What you don't know will always be bigger than you.

An indolent man, or woman, is akin to a destroyer, and it'll be easier for people who don't understand how draining it could be dealing with one to cast aspersions on you. Not all indolent people have a mental problem and/or disorder, though.

To avoid losing your own mind and energy, in addition to hiring a nanny, since you can afford one, accept consciously, with or without him admitting that he's indolent, that he isn't deliberate with his shortcomings. In doing that, both of you'll find a balance in a not too distant future, especially if he's suffering only indolence without a mental problem or disorder.

It's not easy being in your kind of position, but the problem is surmountable, once you can eschew self-absorption.

Balderdash. Shame on people like you and his nephew who think it's wise for one to have their cake and eat it.

The joke is on your brother for expecting a contentious wife (greedy/self-absorbing and conceited/sententious woman) he married with his eyes wide open to be behaving like a submissive wife (selfless and humble woman), especially now that she's outside the shores of Nigeria, worse still when he's neither an established aristocrat nor she has an altruistic interest in him.

Anyway, since he literally hasn't always seen anything wrong in being submissive to her from the inception of their relationship, his probable denial of the obvious notwithstanding, he can still jettison his fledgling law career in Nigeria for now, her crassness through a threat to abort notwithstanding, and relocate to meet her as she pleases without closing down his chamber outright.

On whether he will find something dignifing doing in the UK or U.S. within and outside the legal profession, before becoming qualified to practice especially in the latter country if he so wishes to, definitely he'll, depending on the depth of his versatility, perseverance, resilience.

The wife being a contentious woman doesn't automatically make her an evil person per se. So, he could still have both a successful marriage and career with her in his life outside Nigeria since he doesn't mind being a submissive man; the worst it'll get if she metamorphosed to a termagant will be for him to become subjugable, in addition to being all-around buoyant and resourceful, to maintain peace.

A question like this means that you're not in tune with your subconscious mind/inner self/haven't mastered yourself, because if you were to be, there's no how someone close to you, regardless of the kind of bond that exists between you and the person, will be doing/planning something, good or bad, towards or against you without you foreseeing it clearly or slightly beforehand through any of the numerous ways available within you.

A justified slap doesn't deserve retaliation; in fact, it usually makes the guts and other mechanisms of retaliation flaccid. Yes, as unpalatable as it might seem, some slaps, regardless of who meted them out, can be justified.

Now to the question, I'll definitely not give her a reason to have the guts to slap me - so, no slap; no retaliation.

If you don't want to bear the brunt of others, like receiving their slap, avoid deliberately and continuously frustrating/abusing them, especially psychologically and emotionally, while putting up a disingenuous attitude.

Lack of grit is your problem. If you were to be gritty, she would have either become a changed person, at least to your taste given that women are easily malleable, or pleaded to you to allow her leave the marriage alive a longtime ago.

Servility is as bad as unjust cruelty; neither condone them nor mete them out to others.

Just cruelty will still do the magic at this juncture, and it requires grit.

You obviously write from a parochial point of view coupled with some good amount of inferiority complex.

Well, until you're privileged to own and operate corporations among developed, developing, and underdeveloped countries, you won't be able to realistically compare, realize, and agree that the ultimate cause of poverty among the majority of people in Nigeria, and its likes, is weak government institutions (poor leadership) rather than any other gibberish you stated. And that the values a country ought to hold - no country has citizens that have uniform values - don't define its leadership rather leadership shapes the values of the citizens through the constitution/order. Once more, a country can't have a uniform value system contrary to your unpronounced/indirect position.

When you run a corporation in a country that has a strong government institution, like the police for instance, one thing you will observe is that no matter how criminal-minded and highly placed someone you've a deal with is, he will always have the fear of the police, which, by extension, will be the most important factor that will strive to restrain him from taking advantage of you, knowing that once he does, all you need to do, regardless of your status, is make a simple entry with evidence that won't cost you money and graft, as obtainable in countries with weak government institutions, and within a few hours he will be panting in police confinement and reimbursing you with alacrity before it'll advance to a lawsuit.

With strong government institutions, an agency like the PHCN won't have an excuse not to provide satisfactory electricity to the citizens. That coupled with the fear of the police alone, as obtainable where strong government institutions exist, the revenue that has always been lost due to short daily business hours in the country can easily double the GDP within months - if only you knew that in most functioning economies of the world, between the hours of 8 PM -1 AM are the most booming business hours.

In summary, no matter how ethically poor the citizens of a country are; no matter the amount of aversion the citizens of a country have against reading; no matter the beliefs systems of the citizens of a country, once there are strong government institutions, poverty will be alleviated but definitely not eradicated because no country in the world can eradicate poverty. Poor leadership is the ultimate bane of progress and development in Nigeria. The good thing is that the country will overcome its challenges in a not distant time and take its rightful place among the comity of A Class league of countries where it belongs.

The reason isn't far-fetched; it is so because the bird has learned to fly without perching, so the hunter has also learned to shoot without a target - this isn't an endorsement, though.

omale88:
When an older lady begins to treat you like a junior it means she realise you are not mature enough for her,iv dated older ladies all my life and none ever treated me with disdain because they have no reason to,why should they? Or what have their age done for them? Because I date their souls not their body.doing so requires extreme intelligence.A woman at average have seen more men in her life ten times more than a man would in his life,so then imagine you dating a woman who is older than you in this regard? besides the fact that she finds you attractive she wants you to see in her those countless number of men who have gone through her to beat the odds and not just end like one of them.also if you are mostly dependent on her for everything then you chosen your position in the relationship,you don't ask a woman to do you favors you let her ask to do it from the efforts she see you making if she is capable. A relationship is between a dominant and submissive,dont blame a woman for taking the dominant side when you already submitted to her.

Balderdash. In your desperate bid to use the OP's position to shine/ruin him and appropriate maturity and intelligence to yourself, you ended up showcasing your shallowness.

By your shallow position, you say that every woman is inherently conditionally just; in other words, once you, as a man, are capable of being good to her, she will be reciprocating good to you in all circumstances. Once more, your position is balderdash. A woman who has bad character, especially a domineering and opportunistic one, like in the case of the OP, if his submission is the truth, will in the cause of the relationship try to subjugate the man, especially when the man is younger than her, regardless of how mature, intelligent and good in general the man is.

The OP is wrong, however, in generalizing that "You can never find peace dating an older woman" because, as I stated above, it all boils down to the individual ethical leanings of the parties involved and understanding in general that exist between them rather than age differences.

There's no doubt that he has a big heart, his glaring shortcomings notwithstanding. Of course, everyone else has their own shortcomings too.

He might not be your preferred candidate in the forthcoming presidential election, just as he isn't mine; yet, he deserves courtesy.

I wonder where and when the supposed young Igbos - most young Igbos - held the meeting and election that produced the result that indicated that they dislike Tinubu. That you and your ilks dislike him doesn't automatically mean that "most young Igbos" do because you neither represent the young Igbos - Igbos - nor have a surname that does. You and your ilks from different tribes and political leanings in the country should put a stop to all these acts of ethnocentrism and delusions of grandeur and stop reasoning like a typical bumpkin.

For the record, I don't hold a brief for Tinubu, and I am a bona fide Igboman.

The difficulty you, and every other male and female in your type of situation, have encountered so far in finding a woman for marriage lies mainly in self-deceit (your inability to tell yourself the truth) and/or lack of self-realization, hypocrisy, intolerance, and greed/self-absorption. I said so because:

- Realistically, women are not hard to find, they abound everywhere.

- If you have conquered yourself, you won't find it difficult choosing one from the numerous women that abound unless you have a commitment phobia.

- You have always expected the other party to be almost perfect, if not perfect, even when you aren't perfect but do delusionally deceive yourself that you are. No human being has even been, and will ever, be perfect.

- You don't believe in becoming a source of uplifting/bettering the other party, where such is the case. In other words, your concept of class is a girl that is on the same financial wavelength with you.

Not forgetting to add that you, like many others, obviously have a poor concept of love and respect. Well, apart from having a commitment phobia, if any other point I raised is applicable to you, try to redefine your concept of love and respect.

Even in this forum, just like any other place on and offline, if you are the discerning type that can dissect people and practically see them for who they are intrinsically (rather than who they want you to believe they are), you can easily see that good women abound, who are sincerely ready to mingle.

In fact, if you are good yourself, or if you place immaterialism above materialism, all you need to do is to focus on one or two core attributes you fancy in the opposite gender in your finding, when you see a woman that possesses them, magnify it and the rest will be history.

Karleb:
This is not true.

Say you applied for a job at Google knowing fully well you are qualified but you get rejected, are you saying you won't feel bad because your core intentions were to work and bring value and not about the money?

I won't feel bad, knowing that life doesn't revolve around me and that the establishment has the right to its liberty. Sincerely, life is much more pleasing and fulfilling when one operates from an altruistic and libertarian disposition.

Women, and men, take to such disposition where the core initial intention stemmed from self-absorption/greed regardless of how subtle and passionate they might have seemed prior.

Where her core intention is selfless - in other words, has an altruistic interest on him - whether or not he accepted/reciprocated her overture, she won't become bitter towards him and won't find it difficult/abnormal relating with him civilly and fairly whether or not they remain close, and of course, provided that he didn't unjustly capitalize on the opportunity to debase her.

Your mother is a good woman. She has seen and rebuked you for the greedy person you've chosen to be without holding a brief for her co-wife and step-daughter.

Follow your mother's advice, and know that life does not revolve around you. Eschew greed.

She's indirectly saying that she's single and looking for a mature man who's interested in a serious relationship that might lead to marriage.

I am more concerned about the fact that you aren't ashamed of not being in charge of the structure of the relationship all this while, citing her said present demeanor and pronouncement, and should be more ashamed for not butting her out the very moment she threatened you and gave you the impression that she is doing you some kind of favor being in a relationship with you.

Anyway, perhaps, you haven't conquered and built yourself to the status where any woman should be counting herself lucky for having the privilege to come closer to you and having a piece of your time, attention, and resources - that should be your goal.

Focus on conquering yourself and tell her and her pastor to eff off; when you do, she/any other woman in your life will be the one being afraid of losing you, not vice versa.

CheapHomes1:
Not sure how your second paragraph is related to the question you were asked but What are those same kind of opportunities that made him wealthy that still abound in multitudes in different sectors of the economy? Which of them are you using?

Since you didn't see any correlation between the question I answered and the additional info I provided in the second paragraph by extrapolation, I wonder why you cared to know about the said opportunities that abound and the one I am using.

Nothing can be more irritating than seeing someone who despite obviously having a low IQ is equally conceited. Well, the little one, it is not possible to gain life-changing info from me through gaslighting. Now, scram and direct your further question and goading to small-minded elements like you.

Oshokhai69:
You are so naive to think it’s as easy as that. If only you knew the real back story, you would be weeping for Nigeria.

Try using your nose for business development and go approach Buhari for such opportunities na.

Nonesense and ingredients

Next time direct your frustration and low IQ to small-minded elements like you. Nairaland is not meant for only bumpkins like you.

Beermoney1:
He is a thief. 68 million dollars for what exactly. He should break down the fees to its constituents. Let us see his invoice

Some of you like yarning trash out of ignorance. This is a 3.2 billion dollars deal, so his firm deserves the initial 450 million dollars it demanded, and that was agreed on; yet, here you are calling him a thief for insisting on collecting only 68 million dollars out of the 450 million. If only you knew the risk and volume of resources that were expended to get the job done.

Raymond0008:
What’s the deal btw Ned and Paris fund, can someone explain to me pls? I will appreciate it.

His company, Linas International, generated and self-financed the lead in the Paris Club recovery. So, he deserves his commission and more because it wasn't an easy task literally, even though it does appear so notionally, especially now that it is time for him to merry.

The same kind of opportunity that has made him wealthy still abounds in multitudes in different sectors of the economy, and you don't even need to be a lawyer to key into the opportunities, provided that you've got a nose for business and development.