₦airaland Forum

Perez99:
Good day nairalanders.
I will make it very brief. Please I need your advice.
I've been a nairalander since 2016 but this is my first official post.

My father is a good, noble and humble man. A successful business man. He's very proud of us (his children), we're also proud of him. We're 3. I'm 29 years of age, the eldest and only son. He make sure we don't lack anything. We all went to one of the prestigious Private University in Nigeria. I and my immediate baby sis are graduate, while last born still in 300l.

The problem is that, my father don't know how to dress, he prefer to wear faded and worn out clothes. My dad drive highlander 2014 model. If my Dad comes down from his car, you will think he's a driver to an imaginary Boss because of the way he dressed.
Blessed memories of my beloved mom May her soul R.I.P. She was always complaining and sometimes my Dad won't listen to her.

I'm a good fashion designer, my love for fashion is topnotch. I also own a laundry store and a barbing store. I've been privileged to sew some clothes for comedian Buchi which he loves so much and he promised to patronize me again.

GOD in heaven knows how many lovely, mature and soft dress I've sew and bought for my father with my money. He only wears it once and won't wear it again, there are some he haven't put on at all. He celebrated his birthday August, I bought this nice shirt 18k for him as a gift. Till today he hasn't put it on.

Please note: money is not his problem. The other day he stopped by at my store, I and my boys were working. He noticed nobody was using one of my industrial machines. He asked and I said it was faulty. He said how much? I said 170k but I'll change it soon before January....(because I just wrapped my car from corolla to ES Lexus)....Before I could say Jack... Baba don send me 200k. I ordered the machine instantly.

See what happened this morning, He got an invitation to attend a meeting. The smartest way to dress for a highly regarded man like him is native wear.
So he gave me this faded black trouser turning white to brush for him, that he wanted to wear it for the meeting...See eh, It was so annoying. I went to his room gathered the nice, starched and ironed native I could gather and I told him to select one, that I won't brush that faded trouser. He started saying ... " I'm proving stubborn and all manner things"... I'm sure our tenants could hear our argument.

Please Nairalanders. What can I do to make my Dad dress well. I plan to set fire on those faded and worn out clothes but it will look so disrespectful. I'm sure his friends have accepted his mode of dressing.
My siblings and I are tired of complaining.

Please I need an advice!!!

wfjimmytobby:
I meet this girl around September we got so close and have always spent on her, going shopping and all that and always tell her how I feel.

She do make demand from me and have always responded..but I suspected that she has lots of suitors trying to get her and even her ex..cos she told me he is trying to get back so I decided to demand for sex so we can get serious but she refuse and said she is not ready and that I should wait but she keeps requesting for assistance and even wants me to get her a new phone cos her previous phone got spoilt and all..

So I need your advice should I wait for her to be ready to give me her body and keep on assisting her or should I just give up on the relationship cos she might actually be trying to scam me or something?

Denvacandy:
We got married in 2018 and things where going smooth, i was working with a company in port harcourt and i can bodly say i was very okay, taking flight is not an issue.

When she wanted to give birth to our first child, it was through CS and i paid every damn bills amounting to 500k or so.

We moved down to ogun state and i was taking flight monthly to see her from port harcourt.

Fast forward to 2020, the comapny fold up and i lost my job, i came down to ogun fully with my wife and everything went down, feeding was hard and my savings is drying up.

You know how woman do and how to satisfy them so my savings eventually dried up and the reality was down.

She applied for a teaching job at govt school and she got employed and i was always at home.

Do she was supportive but its didnt took long when she changed and started treating me badly.

I was so sad the day she utter all terirble words to me, on how have not been a good husband and how i have not been dropping money for food and co.

how i have not been taking care of her, i almost moved to tears and i refused to eat her food for some period, i was being supported by a street friend.

How can someone you have sacrificed so much for all of a sudden change and bring out thier true color.

distinguish:
We have been married for a year now. We have been trying to conceive. Because of the emotional stress attached my wife said she can't be staying at home alone, it causes her stress. She said she wants to start doing something. At least a business.

I took a loan from my place of work and we started the business for over 2 months now. The issue now is that, I don't always have cash on me anymore. Any little money I got it's for the business. Basically, we mostly feed from the business.

Yesterday, after we returned home, she started giving me attitude, I asked her what the issue was, she started telling me how I am killing the business, not taking good care of her, not having money to take care of her and all sort of rubbish, she brought out how incompetent I am as a husband and what have you. I never said a word to reply her and its eating me up seriously, I could not sleep the whole night. This is the person that I sacrificed a lot for. I was supposed a take a professional course this November, but because of her I had to postpone it.

Please I need your advice.

PS: I did not eat the food she prepared last night.

Icouldhave:
I just can't help myself, right since I was a little kid. I get jealous easily.

I want everything to be just me alone, I want to be the one to have money then give it out to people.

I hate it when people gives me money, it anolds me, makes me feel less.


Please how do I contain this attitude of mine.


Ps

I don't do bad.

Neither do I do evil.

I just want to be the one running everything in my family or any place I find myself.

I want to be the number one guy


I want to be the giver always

Seun:
The Lagos #EndSARS Judicial panel has published the names of the casualties of the army and police during the Lekki Tollgate Shooting/Massacre of 20-10-20. Their names are in the images below:

BeeBeeOoh:
https://www.thecable.ng/ohanaeze-worldwide-were-building-alliance-with-north-to-achieve-igbo-presidency

ersonleads:
I'm presently working with a reputable company. I met a girl I really flow with. She's matured & understanding. She's in her 400level in school & I said within myself never to let her pass me by. We've come to a compromise that she should finish before I take her to the alter. Want to do so when She's 22yrs of age. I'm 11yrs older than her.

Please I need your Advice if I'm doing the right thing?

Tonero5200:
Hi.

Honestly speaking am really worried, have dated my fiance for sometime now. So we finally decided to tie the knot.
She suggested we do it this year November and I concurred, so we've been saving towards it ever since.

Last 2 months I made my intentions known to her family, that I will like to marry their daughter. Due to the conversations I had With her parents, I told them I wanted it small.. because am not financialy buoyant.

But To my surprise, her dad said I shouldn't worry about it, they are going to support me ( which is most likely Normal)

(They gave me traditional rite's, which I sorted out by myself)

With the traditional right drawing close, last month I learnt from my fiancee..her parents are planning to buy 2 cow for the traditional and white wedding. (I was surprised)

The following week, the hall she choosed for the reception of the white wedding, has already been paid for by her dad which was about 500k excluding the decorations which they also took care of ( even though I opted we could have done the reception in the church)

But my fiancee told me her dad is inviting alot of well-wishers home and abroad to come celebrate with us.both his fellow staffs and all.

* I bought 2 bag of rice and groundnut oils

* We paid for the cakes

* We paid for drinks

* We sorted things out (invitation cards, pre shoot photos)

But was surprised 2 days to the traditional marriage, more expensive drinks were rolling in.

On the d day of the white wedding, I realised, they cooked more than 8 bags of rice ( coconut, jollof, banga and fried) meats were surplused.
Alot of people came from her family's, while my own families were just there.. they did get the message.

Someone even said it to my mom face. THAT THIS GIRL PAPA TRY O.

please, I don't want to sound like am a bad person or I don't know good.
Offcus I appreciate her parents efforts, but am just a little bit worried.

As a man, won't this come to haunt me in the future?

tobechi20:
Bring kids into the picture, and often, one’s sex drive takes a nose dive. Especially for mothers.

Low libido is a very common issue for new mothers as they are healing from childbirth, grappling with fluctuating hormones and extreme sleep deprivation.

While we know adjusting to a new baby can profoundly impact a couple’s life (including sexual intimacy), we, as a society, act like it shouldn’t. We act like there’s something wrong with a new mother needing a timeout from sex.

New mothers who admit to having less sex drive are often met with people urging, “Just do it anyway,” and “You’ll get in the mood.”

But what if you don’t get in the mood, even when you take this advice? What then?

Why aren’t the feelings of the woman valid? Shouldn’t she be listening to her body? Her mind?

I’m not sure where we got this idea that a husband owns his wife’s vagina. Or that he is entitled to intercourse, MouthAction, handling, or groping. I’m pretty sure I didn’t see that covenant in the paperwork. But I have an inkling that this entitlement is very much based in misogyny and male privilege.

Men are led to believe, often since they are young boys, that women should have sex with them when they want it. Even when their wives are not “in the mood.” Because sex is the way he feels intimate. Sex is the way he connects. Because putting your husband’s sexual desires first is supposedly the best way to avoid divorce.

These antiquated and sexist designs for marriage are damaging to women.

When a married mom doesn’t put out, she’s called “cold” and “selfish” and the dreaded “bitch.” She’s told she must have “something else going on” mentally. Outsiders to the marriage, and maybe even therapists, will question if the wife was ever sexually assaulted. Does she have a history of trauma? They’ll try to make connections that aren’t there. Because how could a wife possibly not want to have sex with her husband?

It is sickening and horrific to think of a woman having sex against her will, married or not. It’s disgusting that we automatically assume something must be “wrong” with a woman who is having a gap in her groove. Beyond all that, it’s dangerous.

Suggesting that married women and mothers should just “do it anyway” is sexual bullying and coercion. If a husband acts on the “just do it anyway” cliché and forces it — that’s called rape.

When we attack married mothers for not putting out, we’re reaffirming once again what’s important in this society.

A man’s needs, not a woman’s. A man’s voice, not a woman’s voice.

The5DME:
All this una fake stories sef.

Anyway, make sure you go to a university, and learn the programming and cryptocurrency at the side. You can also cut your fellow students hair in school.

Risingsun127:
Good day people.. sorry for the long story
I’m in my early 20s
Please I need help .. I noticed this problem in 2017.. I’ve always been a fluent talker.. I can talk without getting tired ,people referred to me as a talkative with sharp mouth ..
Infact when I was little my family even advised me to study law because they saw how vocal and active I was .. But since 2017 till presently my mouth is always feeling heavy.. Whenever I talk my mouth will be gathering spit.. I’m always swallowing spit and most times I chock on my saliva .. I find it difficult to speak cause I’ll just be blabbing and stuttering.. It’s as if my Brain is clogged. There was even a time I couldn’t speak out.. words will be in my mind but to say it out will be so difficult..

I don’t know if it’s because we moved into this environment.. Could it be spiritual problem from this environment I moved into in 2016 or someone is on my case??

Because of the spit issue .. I went to a doctor who told me my issue was worm. I’ve been deworming on a steady still yet I can’t communicate with people effectively.. I’ll just be looking dumb when with my friends meanwhile I’ve lots of things to say in my mind!!
If I say let me open my mouth and talk I’ll just be stuttering and stammering and it has affected my self confidence massively.
Please I need help .. What could’ve gone wrong with me ?? Is it spiritual or medical.. Please medical practitioners come to my aid ..
Has anyone else experienced this issue or know about this kind of problem?? Please I need a solution.
Moderators , Lalastica please move to Front page

Baamisere:
Help Me! I'm Fed Up

I've been dating my girlfriend for about 3 years now and she has been a good woman through and through. I've met her parents and we're discussing on the next step. She has been supportive, responsible and caring despite our tribal difference.

However, the problem I'm having with her is that when she's angry she tends to use foul languages and curses on me which I don't like. She end up apologizing after the ranting but I'm tired of going over this. Please how can I deal with this attitude of hers?

I need honest contributions to this thread.

Annabelle12344:
I just created this account to post this.
I'm really Disturbed.

My wedding is approaching and I'm so excited about it.
Before I met my husband to be, there's this married man I know. Right from day one he told me who was married but his family based in a different state. I told him I'm single and I can't marry a married man nor date a married man. We both laughed about it.

Years passed, he became so close to my family and everybody around me. He comes to my house, gist with my mum, siblings and my family members are very accommodating.
I had my boyfriend whom everyone knows, that I have nothing with this man.
he support me financially some times. I have been helpful as well in my own ways. most times, I helped him out with cooking, even followed him to supper market to pick beautiful clothes (wears) for his wife and children. I have known this man for about 4 yrs now, but never have I had intimat.e relationship with him. He's like a big brother to me although he deeply loved me and have asked me out severally, but i have never involved myself with him s.exuallly.

This man have been so good to me, but now, I want to get married and he's so angry with me, he appears so hurt and heartbroken. He's behaving as if I betray his love. He's acting as if nothing mean anything to him any more. He almost lost his job last week due to lack of concentration. He takes his job carelessly now,

How can I help him heal emotionally, without distracting my own marriage?

Is ignoring him at this point the best option?


How should I handle this? Pls advice

mordred44:
agreed wit u bt a d same time he is nt under dia shadow

mordred44:
How come jay jay didn't win African footballer....... Surprised me

Samunique:
The man who never played for money but but pleasure.

kingxsamz:
We all know that it's only online you juju enthusiasts have mouth. Na why your juju dey fear camera because e no dey work.
See free 2.5million. Apply for the challenge and win the money since you sure say you get juju. Showcase your so called supernatural power and dem go dash you 2miilion. You don't need to make threats online to feel relevant.
https://www.nairaland.com/6761238/win-2.5-million-naira-prove
Here's the link, don't say I didn't tell you.
It's a Nigerian challenge, so don't think it's foreign, at least you won't have any excuse. The money you'll use to come to my location, use it to go for the challenge and win 2.5 million. Clown.

kingxsamz:
Wow, nice.
You have metaphysical powers but e dey fear camera. Even pastors wey dey stage miracle still dey do am for camera, but your juju is camera shy. Why your juju dey fear camera nw?
Here's a thread with a link to an ongoing challenge. Carry your yeye "ottomokpor" there, and win 2.5 million. If you can prove your juju, you win the money, simple stuff.
It shouldn't be too hard for a supernatural man like you.
https://www.nairaland.com/6761238/win-2.5-million-naira-prove

kingxsamz:
It's your type pastors collect half of their salary every month.
If you want to see how a ship is built you can make use of your YouTube app, that's if you even use it to learn anything in the first place.

kingxsamz:
How does a ship stay afloat?
You be pikin sha.
Don't worry, it's magic they use to make ships float.

PotatoSalad:
U be coward sha. No offense.

kamtamark:
what if I decide to beat the boy?

if the boy come beat you nkọ?

seborrhic:
A so called nurse talking like a village quack.
The highest misconception of being 'fortified' these cultist or juju patronising people will tell you is that u shud not inject them,based on the instruction their jujumen gave them,which they believe wholeheartedly,but injection not penetrating?Pity d nurse and so called superior could not understand that it's likely due to a medical condition itself.
Or maybe she even injected through a bone or calcified tissue and is here talking like a typical quack.
These are the types that will quickly tell a patient their problem is not medical,but spiritual and they should go to a "strong native doctor" and make some sacrifices.

dopedan:
Just saw my cgpa and I landed in 2.2 and my dad already told me not to bring bad result home I guess 2,2 is not so good and my dad is not someone that is understanding so how do i tell him?

Candycrushy:
So why did u leave the one that was industrious

Nne no be me get problem nah

Mylordmygod1:
A beautiful afternoon to all nairalanders.

Firstly, my greatest fear when it comes to things of this world is 'women', That's why i don't want to break a womans heart in a way that i will be the one to recieve the blame.

I've been in a relationship with my girl for about 3years now, and each time my mum or friends ask me if i'm gonna marry her, my answer is always a capital letter NO.

Now, my mum is warning me to better let her go since i don't have the interest of marrying her. But the hard part is that i'v been promising this girl that i will marry her even when i'm 100% sure i won't marry her, and i don't no how to go about ending the friendship now.

Recently, i've been picking offences for minor isues, getting angry with her for no reasons, trying to give her signal, but none seems to be working, and its now like my anger is her source of happiness these days.

I really want to end the friendship now, but i want the blame to be on her side and not mine, how can i go about it?

ADVICE ME WELL

Thanks.