₦airaland Forum

You failed to mention how these men enslave their wives and kids when he is the brradwinner. The only reason they respect him is because of his ability to provide. You also failed to tell us how some of these men become just a mere figurehead in the house.

Would you in all sincerity marry a partner that does absolutely nothing in the house? A woman that does not have a job would at the barest minimum ensure the house is running smoothly. What would most egotistical men in that position do? Nothing!!! Having a penis is not an excuse for irresponsibility. A man has to be responsible in the home. If he cannot provide, he can at least find other ways to be responsible.

Many good women with good husbands will gladly have their husbands back when the chips are down. It is a given!

Martinez39:
Michellekabod2, Ubunja and Co. Was this not what we were discussing? Give a man power, money, and make him the bread winner, his family will benefit from him. Give a woman money, power, and make her the bread winner, her husband will see hell. OP needs to take the red-pill.

Even though the man is at home, his wife has turned turned the kids against him in the cruel and petty game of power dynamics. And many girls had the dishonesty to attack me when I created THIS TOPIC and they acted like parental alienation is not really a thing to worry about and the father should "just spend some time with the kid". Here is a man who is present in his home and yet the kid has turned against him (a case similar to that of emmaodet). Never underestimate the power of brain washing and the wickedness and brutal nature of women. Women are not fair players.

Indeed, Ilekokonit was right in THIS TOPIC OF HIS. Also the arguments and contributions made by ubunja and myself are valid. A family is supposed to work as a unit but the woman purchased properties without the man's knowledge, turned the kids against him, and disrespects him yet folks like funmisticqueen (whose personality is as ugly as she looks) turned this on the man insinuating that the man must have been cruel to his wife in the past. The op opened a joint account with his wife but now, the wife has gotten a secret account.

Any man that remains oblivious to female nature will suffer and get burnt.

So she should be eating garri when she can afford to eat rice to make him happy. Do we alls till think women are not enslaved in marriages?

RisenPhoenix:
Your mistake was permitting her to become the breadwinner. When you experienced a downturn, you should have adjusted your family's standards of living down to comfortable levels accordingly, instead of using her own money to maintain that standard. Because you couldn't relinquish the good life, you have effectively relinquished control over your home. No matter how little you make, adjust your expenses to stay within that income. Do not touch her money under any circumstances.

It is all about the control. Once it is gone, they become useless and take their frustrations out on the poor woman who is expected to do every damn thing and not say a word.

pocohantas:
My man is not the one opening threads upandan NL. He isn't the one taking red pills. He isn't the one killing and arming himself with new manipulation techniques to keep a woman in check.

I wonder how helping with his own home and kids translates to control and low self esteem. Then use your high self esteems to MAKE MONEY and KEEP MAKING MONEY!!

After that you pray it never finishes. If it does, your high self esteem will come crashing

Ndi ala!!!



And they don't ever take corrections. Very obstinate egoistic set.

This is what happens when everyone belives that the ability to provide and being the man should be the only defining factors in a relationship.

pocohantas:
He hasn't recovered, he should be useful for now. Not for his wife, but his kids. I don't care what he does with his wife when he recovers, she probably doesn't care too and if all OP said is the truth, she has waited so long for this moment. Some women just need men for the marriage and (temporary) comfort men can provide. This is a model that is okay for the Nigerian man too, even though they always cry when it backfires.

Nigerian men only win bread, they don't know how to win any other thing- even the hearts and sympathy of their women. Always thinking everything is manee, manee, manee.

Eeyah, life is unfair.

She may be guilty of these things you accused her of or you may be the one making your family life difficult. Who knows?

These are not prophecies.

Some people don't have your naturalistic desires.

Why are you projecting your assumption? It is not 100% true. Admittedly, some will have regret especially if it was done out of obligation. Some dont and won't. There are so many of them out of them. There are so many who are also planning never to have children. These are people with different philosophies.

Don't try and feel good about people's regrets. People regret a lot of things.

geosegun:
Please remember that feelings are transient. You have a point but I would call it nature, and unfortunately you don't have control over naturalistic desires. Any decision you take against nature will always end in state of unfulfilment and hence gross sadness.

Most women that thought they dont need marriage or kids do regret these decisions later in life (%100 true). The only thing is they will never come online to tell the truth as they may feel ashamed of their earlier decisions.

Why?

blank:
Any developed country is better than UK for masters.

If he doesn't exist, he doesn't exist. What is there to be grateful for?

James39:
See the minimum and maximum should be 4.

I can't give birth to 1 boy and 1 gal.

That's my take. I don't care what others think.

if your parent were so careful not to go beyond 2 kids you won't be here typing this. I'm sure you are not the 1st neither the 2nd.

we are 10 in numbers and we are doing fine.

.

God! Who are these people?

My dad didn't play his music until we were much older

Good decision!

You guys have started again.

The competition is tougher and the subjects are harder.

Calculators is a tool. It doesn't give out the answer to the main problems.


Also, there are more students than there ever were during your time.

C was a good grade then, it isn't now. If at all, our average was your best back then.

Exam is exam. Your knowledge of the course content materials and of life do not mean these youths have it any easier.

And we have social media, everyone must know.

CSTR2:
I have taught a number of students over the years .

I can tell you for a fact that students are now duller.

The exams are now easier. You also have the use of calculators compared to those days.
Past questions are also now everywhere.

Compare Jamb mathematics or physics 1999 with 2019.

The difference is clear.

These days you have social media

hooha:
The rate at which students make high scores nowadays in JAMB is something to understand.

In those days, people do not make such high scores, even the intelligent ones. Those days, you see very intelligent people scoring 265, 270, 280, etc; but today, I think the rate of 300+ seems higher.

So what is the factor? Is it that JAMB quality has dropped or Students are now more intelligent?

Did anyone really consented to be created or born?

internationalman:
so it was government by force then..

no self expression or free will..

so it has been teyed is started.... it is well

Pian is part of life. That type of pain is not part of life. It should be a personal choice to want that pain or not. I cannot remember the last time I associated pain with my hair.

Exactly! It is about others not her. She is not a peacock.

The pain is not temporary. At least once a week, she gets her plaited or braided and she spends at least two days wincing every time she puts her head down to sleep.

BlackPantherCri:
Pain is a part of life. We have to deal with it. That's why we have adults who cant manage stressful situations. Because of helicopter parenting.


The child focuses on the after, the beautiful hair she will adorn. The pain is temporary. When the hair is all done, she's prancing about like a peacock showing all and sundry her beautiful hair.

Are vaccinations important or not?

CeterisXVII:
Children go through pain when they are given injections, or taking vaccinations. Should we abolish those too, in order not to cause the child any pain??

Do you mean that you have have managed to convince yourself that wincing in silence meant no pain?

BlackPantherCri:
I started when she was 18 months. Now she's the real MVP

Especially the edge's questions

1Sharon:
And they wonder why their hair doesn't grow.

When they see long hair, they ask stupid questions.

Cream do not make hair longer. In fact, the cold in the aboad is more likely to damage and stunt hair growth. People with koily hair need special way of handling their way to make it grow longer.

It seems like black hair grow longer in the western world because the movement to retain length i.e trying to make black hair long is a mostly a western thing.

jakandeola:
most African girls use hair cream add different concution yet thier hair is still short.see forget DAT talk.if u know anybody in ur family or nairaland who lived abroad lets ask to avoid argument. trustyshoess cococandy ireneony mimzyy

The pain of waking up for school or work every morning is necessary. Plaiting of hair? NO!

The child can decide what to do with the hair when she grows up including choosing a painless way of dealing with her hair

midnighter:
Nope, it's totally necessary. Pain is as much a part of life as pleasure.

If you couldn't experience sadness you wouldn't know what happiness was. If everything was easy and painless to obtain, you wouldn't value it.

After seeing and sitting through the process of styling and making that hair, the child will learn to appreciate the importance of being patient for a good result as they grow older.

And they will know what styles and techniques they prefer. It's part of building their self-image.

The solution to a problem is not necessarily avoiding it altogether but finding a way to muddle through.

The pain is very unnecessary.

midnighter:
There's nothing wrong with braiding a child's hair, as long as care is taken not to make it too tight.

It can be uncomfortable but not necessarily painful. Or it may be mildly painful for a couple of days. Experiencing pain is not going to kill the child.

Everybody experiences pain, especially en route to achieving something meaningful. You can't shield children from pain forever just to prove a point. This is unrealistic. Children should be taught resilience and not shielded and coddled all the time. The end result is comfort enough for the pain endured.

Putting somebody's hair in a bun every day for school is not feasible; little children mess their hair up a lot and natural hair can get tangled if a comb is not run through it often enough. Then when you want to comb it it will still be war.

I think a reasonable cornrow style with or without attachments is okay for a schoolgirl.

And it will also teach them from an early age about neatness.

The bun is okay as well once in a while but people who braid their kids hair shouldn't be condemned.

Well, the cool and fresh weather does not make hair soft. Hair is soft when it is well mositurised.

jakandeola:
not cold.thier weather is cool and fresh compared to African weather.

Really? Your child has to go through pain because you did.

BlackPantherCri:
Aunty. Schools in naija pick weaving hair styles for kids. Pack bun to school and they will speak grammar for you. We all went thru d pain, we survive am. It's generational abeg. They will get over it

It doesn't have to be those particular hairstyles. They can even cut the hair of it comes to that.

Cold does not make hair softer, if at all, it makes it drier.

jakandeola:
d girls are beautiful but I think u are wrong. dose girls are not Africans I think dey are Americans. oyibo weather make thier hair to be very soft weda black or white cos of thier cold.most naija and African girl got short hairs

It might be you derive joy in watching parents hurt their kids. We don't!

It is their children they can do and undo. If they can hurt them for their own satisfaction and teach them to enjoy pain for other people's satisfaction, they can as well kill them.

tot:
As long as you are not the parent, it's not your business. Sorry.

How does the comment relate to killing a child? What does that have to do with the point made?

Judgement call to put their children through unnecessary pain because of their own idea of beauty?

Does that make sense to you? You could as well tell then to kills their children because they are the parents.

tot:
It's not for you to tell others what pain they should go through or what age that should be. That's a personal choice. It's the parents' judgment call.

Their excuse has always been the poor girl's appreciation for the beauty of the hair.

Still early days

You don't understand the level of corruption those guys are into. He may not be able to build a uni but I am pretty sure he could afford to build a dozen of lecture theaters.

fairfora:
but not enough to build a university na. Just 2 lecture theatres would consume his coins.

Oshiomole had millions in the accounts before he became the governor. Do you know the the type of theivery NLC do?

fairfora:
Exactly. People really don't care how you spent their money. Just provide for them the basics...pay their salary promptly, build infrastructure and provide security...they would be carrying you like a king. Unfortunately, our politicians are super greedy. Imagine oshiomohle, a labour leader with only one khaki and with nothing in his account before he became governor , now owning a multi billion naira university in his hometown...where did he get the money from? Yet, people kept having accidents along benin auchi highway when he was governor. Armed robbers kept causing chaos...no police van, no security personnel positioned on the highway...he was just busy embezzling the security votes and same man is now shouting corruption here and there.

All of African Christians are in Jos. Wow!