₦airaland Forum

Still if she is indifference about it all, just maintain a friendly relationship with her and invest in finding someone else.

Maybe she is still dealing with some issues, perhaps that is her true self, or she is not as interested as you thought.

I bet if you tell her that maybe we should just remain friends and start looking out for other pple, something will spark within her.
Check this out:
Compromise is a win - lose scenario (the loser here will go away with nothing at the end of the day).
Win - win is what we all need (you give and take + she gives and takes).

Mostly Looks, accent, & odor but I will soon decide if she is worth my time based on her attitude.

@ poster

Hope you have not been smitten in your heart yet.
Tell her how you feel about this calling issue and observed her responses.

If she is indifference, time to get back into the hunting field and just keep her as a friend.

Unfortunately, if you do some of those things described, the pain will temporary go away but will return when you are sober.

Heart injury is inside:  it feeds on your emotions, it lingers b/c of your thought process, and self denial helps it to grow.

Solution (personal experiences):
Take inventory of what happened
Know where you are at fault, and deal with it sincerely
Other person's fault - forget it cus it is theirs to resolve
Feed your mind with positive thoughts via auto suggestions
Take conscious charge of your thoughts - force it to think positively only (do it constantly and as long as it takes)
As soon as your conscious mind is solidly fed with the right thoughts, your subconscious mind will start reacting automatically.

Alternate solution - rewrite the portion of your heart that hurt with new information = when you remember the issue that hurt you, replaced it with funny pictures, story, laughable events.  Do these consciously, steadily, & deliberately till the sector of your heart has new info.

If these do not work for you, hug your sleeping pillows at night, kiss them, and say sweet words to them - abi wetin go man do if the heart dey beg for penicillin?   

@ poster

You should stop looking for a virgin (to date or to marry I supposed), but a good God fearing woman that has not turn herself into a bus stop and will not be one in the future.

Hopefully you are not a city delivery guy as well.

Dont know the answer to that.

I know these though: Forward a true-sincere apology, search your own heart and know who you are and what you want in life with regards to women, don't ask her to commit - let her be for now, hope for the best and let time and chance take their toll, still be a normal friend to her if she allowed it.

@ poster
The hour of truth! Can you two sincerely deal with the outcome of two AS joining together?
Maybe a little medical research might help you guys reach a decision. Moreover, there is nothing that God can not do.

Bobo, hear me o jare. I dey talk from experience. Maybe in nija, you guys no like communication.

Abi you no sabi that out of sight is out of mind?

@ poster

How old are you by the way, I think many of us are going into a relationships too early without a fully grown mature mind.

Anyway, I feel for most girls/women.  They are often pressurized by many guys who are simply looking for a piece of the pie. 
As a result, we get them confused and they are indeed confused.  When the right guys comes along, they waited so long to respond.
By the time some responds, some guys are already back on the field searching for another girl.  To some good/right guys, their experiences dictate that they shouldn't waste time on any girl that take them for granted (same with everyone though), or is wasting their time. 
The irony is that while the guy kept calling and the girl is doing what girls do best (ignore for some time), the girl's heart is already melting.  For most that knows how to play the game, they will wait it out, get the girl, use her, and move on (but I am not talking about players but good guys).

See, since the good guys does not get any positive responses from this girl, he has no choice but to move on - he isn't a player.  Alas, as he moved back to the hunting field, the girl is finally interested & ready to date with the expectation that the good guy is still around the corner.

Ladies, if you treat most guys like that, be rest assured you will never get a good guy (maybe some might be lucky). What you will get is a player if the guy allows his mind to be influenced by irrational thoughts.

- opposed me if I am wrong.

My view
Physical attractions -
Attractive face with fully developed round front and back view; feminine - shaking front and rear view while walking coupled with a nice confident cat walk. Finally add a good personality + hygienic lifestyle + proper feminine dressing on top.

Good response - stop playing girls. Rather start building for a good everlasting relationship.

But it is not healthy!  Healthy relationship are built via constant-continuous communication.

Can't blame the guy and the girl, sometimes ignorance leads people on.

@ poster
Again and again, true love is not complete if it is from one person - but between two pple with mutual interest, it is complete.

Since the girl has moved on, you should endeavor to move on. If you cant, then spend the rest of your life living alone.

If you cant spend the rest of you life alone, why bother if you can talk to God to grant you your own help mate.

If you don't believe in God yet, change your thought process about it all and look out for another woman to court.

On the other hand, what we need is what we often rejected and later on we complain about whom we ended up with.

As insane as it may sound, many would prefer a gay female to a son!

Anyway, i still stand on none - better save than sorry.

@ poster.

Almost true, but there are more interesting ones.

Let me give yall one interesting one guys - check out her pupils when she is around you <are they dilated or not dilated>

Dilated - promising.
Not dilated - her mind is else where

applies to all sexes.

From experience, you guys are not going any further with a relationship like that.
You can not but communicate in a true relationship.

Another fact, out of sight is out of mind - abi I lie?

Wetin dey sele for nija, there should be some kind of laws that prohibited these silly men with more than one wives to be a governor or be in any top public positions.

When will this country ever learn and grow up?

@ poster

This is a twisted case. There is nothing you can do - since you don cook the yam, it is time to eat it.

It appears that if it wasn't for the pregnancy you will still be banging your half brother - wake up call.

@ Poster

Why would anyone wait that long to let their partner knows they have children - it is not acceptable as far as I am concern.

The sooner the better - from the very beginning.  No wonder most relationships are falling apart.

Still, it is wrong to educate women to queue up as wives.

I do know about a related facts that says there will be lesser men and more women.

Currently, there are still lots of single brothers around - and some of them are aging out, so what are these women doing then?

@ poster

If a wife is a true wife and she is in the right marriage, what have you to hide from the part of your body?

Moreover, the wife should be Godly wise (not worldly wise) - reveal those things at the appropriate time; consider the story of Abigail in the bible.

Abigail's Story - The husband has terribly offended David - David is on his way with men to completely kill all the males in that family - Wife Abigail heard about it - She appealed to David behind husband's back without telling him - Husband was balling / partying at home - After husband became sober in the morning, she told him these things, that his heart died within him, and he became as a stone.

If non religious, consider the case mentioned in a logical way and you will get the picture.

@ poster

Some of this issue is pretty simple cus based on logic and reasoning, true marriage is between a man and a woman.

Many women should be educated - since there are still many single men around, what is such woman doing as a second or third wife.

Please it is not right at all.

Ok guys, would you be the second husband?

@ poster

God forbid, I will have none of the two.

For me case closed.

@poster

A true generic marriage (not the so called today's marriages), the man and woman are truly one. As a result, one account is truly needed.
See - a true generic marriage: the woman is a wise one that keepeth her house + everything you can say about a true help mate; the man is also everything you can say about true husband.

However, since marriages today are no longer true generic ones but wetin called - accounts should be established based on understanding of each others strength, and knowledge of the times we lived in.

Abi you go allow a woman to spend all the house money on makeups and fashions?

Also, abi you as a wise woman, go allow your hubby to spend the family's money unwisely without acting like Abigail from the bible.

Your choice!

@ poster

I would suggest you find out what the registry laws are all about? Then if it has something to do with, i go chop all your life earnings if you divorce your wife (excluding children), then you want to really have a real heart to heart talk with your wife and settle some doubts. You want to search your own heart too - will you ever breakup your marriage for any reasons!

You might want to get a lawyer draft you some binding document that both of you would sign. Such document should be very fair to both parties by considering all possible conditions: if the wife messes up and wants to claim your life earnings - no no; if you messes up and tries to use magomago put her aside - no no; Lastly, in case something happens to the marriage and could not be savaged, plans should be in place to protect the children (in laws go chopulate all the earnings).

Hence, if the wife is the one with the life earning, same thing applies.

Moreover - all of these are not needed if your marriage is built on the right foundation. If not, storm go still come - may God help such then.

@ poster

I think the major problem is marriage foundation. Westernization and other reasons are testing factors that shakes the foundation of individual marriages.

Storm will come, pressure will mount, woman will be woman, man will be man, children may go astray, in-laws will go a-wire, confusion go visit everywhere but a good marriage foundation will hold on. 

Therefore, present conditions are just revealing that many pple have chosen wrong and have a bad foundation - sugbon it is too late.

Divorce is just a temporary solution - it will give you temporary peace and the circle of wrong decision begins again.

A fact - you need only investigate most pples marriage foundations (choices).

Of course! We often say things because of personal experiences whether they have true or false foundations.

I still strongly believe you owe her sincere apology with full explanation like you did online. 

She will read it later and that will help her settle some doubts in her mind. 

God's forgiveness does demands saying sorry to whomever you might have injured.

I guess we are all reaping what we sow. Unfortunately innocent pple are caught up in the middle.

Whether in the third or western world, women are all the same. But a GOOD WIFE, wow, her price is indeed greater than rubies or precious gold.

Moreover, Parents should be seeking for a good WIFE instead of a cultural woman.

Common aj, the guy speaks the truth. However, I will not encourage guys to go around and deflowers women. There are good women, but they are very very very few.

But I will encourage guys to invest some time in stepping up their self esteem and their skills in picking up women - not for evil purposes but so as to learn how not to be a mugu in the hands of some of these females of today.

I know some pple would disbelieve me, this happened here in the state.  I even interviewed the girl myself.

You better believe it, shits are happening here.