Topup's Posts
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 Romance › Re: I Am An Empath. by topup: 1:17am On Jul 31, 2009 |
It's called intuition. 1 Like |
| Romance › Re: What Do I Do? by topup: 1:16am On Jul 31, 2009 |
If she didn't think there was a possibility that she would sleep with her friend she probably would have been able to promise you that, but I think maybe she is interested in the other girl. Sad really, the fact that you are begging her that anything is better than another girl. When really nothing should be better than being true to you and only you. I think that maybe the two of you should go on a break, if she is still going through an explorative stage, because I'm sure remaining with someone who's not sure that they want to be with you isn't good for your psyche, it could be very stressful for you. |
| Romance › Re: I Just Purchased A .38 Caliber Pistol by topup: 4:57am On Jul 30, 2009 |
The best thing you can do for yourself is to get over him, because anything else only adds to his ego. I mean topics and posts about him, how he destroyed you, even though negative, who wouldn't feel powerful knowing that they had such an effect on someone. Anyways, please don't pull any triggers, I think you need to cool down first, we love you  . |
| Romance › Re: I Need To Praise Him by topup: 4:55am On Jul 30, 2009 |
I'm so happy for you.  I'm also very thrilled that you've recovered very well from your operation  . |
| Romance › Re: How Great Is It To Remain Friends With Your Ex? by topup: 3:08am On Jul 29, 2009 |
mntpaul:However a serious guy could genuinely want to make a mend. |
| Romance › Re: Why Women Date Ugly Black Guys by topup: 3:05am On Jul 29, 2009 |
Sometimes it pays off to look a little harder than other people do. I don't know what she meant by her comment, but it sounds like one of those 'movie quotes' it doesn't really make sense, and I'm sure if you asked her to explain it she would have found it hard. If I loved someone or thought they were hot despite the world thinking they weren't, I would still think they were hot, I've noticed it in myself, dated a guy and over-time with sincere care and love I can't even see whether he's hot or not, I just know that he's amazing. If I ever said that someone was so ugly that they were beautiful, I would mean that they were not conventionally beautiful, but I found them attractive despite this, and this is because I don't even find conventional beauty attractive. The most beautiful people have something 'weird' about their faces. I mean, true scientific perfect beauty is when the face is supposed to be symmetrical and everything balanced, but then we have models with huge eyes, or really narrow eyes or a boney nose, or juicy shapely lips, you know beauty isn't as simple as what the world makes it anyways, since like many people have said; it's in the eye of the beholder at the end of the day. Cheer up tombola, you're not ugly, seriously, how a person appears is much more than their outward facial features. I have seen pretty girls who don't smile ever, and this makes them look sad or unhappy, whilst I have seen unconventional looks, but then when they smile or are in their element they light up a room or glow. |
| Romance › Re: How Great Is It To Remain Friends With Your Ex? by topup: 1:17am On Jul 29, 2009 |
My advice is that you continue to be really distant with him, give him the impression that you are always busy so you can't talk, or if he manages to start a conversation, end it pretty quickly, because you don't have time for someone who's confused. He can't even defend himself now, as he's still confused. I believe that he will forever be confused until he grows up. What you've been doing so far is great, it's been working right? You've managed to get over him quicker and now you definitely don't want him back. He hurt you time and time again, over a period longer than a year, that's enough reasons to want to keep a person like him further than an arms length away from you. Seriously, some people don't care at all, and will call and disrupt things whenever they feel bored. He shoud have called ages ago, yes there's a chance that only now did he realise his mistake, but you have to realise that pretending to want a friendship with him will not only lead him on, but it could cloud your judgment in future, he might end up convincing you that he's worth a shot again which could be very dangerous since he doesn't seem to have changed. |
| Romance › Re: Ladies Pleaseeeeeeee: Men Are Not Dog. Stop That Stupid Statement by topup: 6:57pm On Jul 28, 2009 |
Men are not dogs, some can behave like some, but men are not dogs. Are you happy!? |
| Romance › Re: Is Six Years Not Too Much? by topup: 6:56pm On Jul 28, 2009 |
You should know by now, we don't need to tell you whether to wait or not. |
| Romance › Re: A Little Lost by topup: 6:53pm On Jul 28, 2009 |
He sounds like a user. He doesn't love you if he cares about his friend more, either that or he loves you but does not value the institute of marriage, which is still a bad sign. Why are you dating a married man, especially knowing that he is using his wife, that doesn't scream to me; ' a man who is full of integrity and respect.' |
| Romance › Re: Female Nairalanders, Pls Be Sincere by topup: 6:50pm On Jul 28, 2009 |
I think the seeker said it best .As for me, I look for potential. I will stay with someone who has a great character and potential, if he is unlucky, I will stay with him, I don't believe in luck anyways so I know that things happen for a reason and he will surely pull through, there's no harm in believing that until it happens. Secondly, I will not stay with a guy who does not want to work, a guy who calls himself self-employed because he cannot be bothered to look for a job, stability is key too. I would prefer a guy who has a strategy, not a guy who will Yahoo one day, and then when he getsfed up of that will work in a dead-end job. A risk taker is also key, I am a risk taker too. I don't worry too much about how much my guy will earn because I have so many plans for myself. I will be fine no matter what and so I have more time to look for the more important things in a spouse like personality. After all, you can have all the riches in the world but if he disrepects you, cheats or abuses you, what will it matter. Who will want to stay in such a relationship?? |
| Career › Re: When Best Do We Invent? During Necessity Or When Economy Is Buoyant: by topup: 4:13pm On Jul 28, 2009 |
I think it has also reached a stage now where precedents are readily available for most successful countries, ours on the other hand is really bad at keeping records or glorifying those nobel Nigerian citizens that made a difference. I mean in other countries there is increased certainty of fame or acknowledgement. I mean you could have a day named after you, or even if you did not solve a problem, but you contributed to it's solution you would get a mention. We keep thinking it's too late to get placed in the "world list of great contributors", so we don't even bother. I mean after electricity was invented I am sure many people would have thought that nothing could exceed it, however the Japanese and Chinese didn't let this hinder them and then came the computer, and nothing would exceed that, then the fax machine e.t.c, If not physically inventions, we can invent ploicing strategies, ways to maximise oil revenue, with our country still in it's baby phase, we could be developing techniques to make sure our infrastructure is one of the best in world, but yet we continue to build some ilogical roads. I know I am generalising certain aspects, but when it comes to discussions about this topic I feel like I'm in the role of an adult that's pestering and nagging a child to 'shape up', and stop misbehaving. Another issue is that I don't believe that the government supports this field of inventing of coming up innovative responses. We would rather get Chinese companies to build our roads and buildings in prominent areas or support the build of several American-style homes than to invest in nurturing home grown talent. What a shame. |
| Romance › Re: How Do U Feel(ladies And Men Please) When Ur Partner Always Brings Up Marriage Related Talks While J by topup: 2:51am On Jul 28, 2009 |
The only way marriage talks would turn me off is if I know deep down inside that I don't want to end up with him. Otherwise, it's natural to feel excited, if you're both on the wavelength, who knows, you might join in too describing the number of kids you'd have, where you'd like to live e.t.c. |
| Romance › Re: What Really Made You Say Yes To Him; What Made You Approach Her by topup: 2:48am On Jul 28, 2009 |
To the OP I really tried to be sincerely happy for you, but the more I read, the more the topic focused about his lack of money, and then his increase. Would you honeslty be able to say that you would still be with him if he couldn't afford a thing?? Anyways, I'll stop being harsh now, I'm glad that you've found someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, please be gentle with each other's hearts, it seems to me that this guy loves you very much to be sharing practically everything he owns with you and the fact that he has managed to turn you around, make sure you appreciate him, he sounds like a great guy. |
| Romance › Re: Ladies Can U Date A Male Virgin by topup: 2:02am On Jul 28, 2009 |
Of course. They're human, they have a range of personalities, it depends on whether the personalty suits me or not. michaelala:Wow, what a clash. He must have assumed that because she was a 'sister' that she would not look too kindly upon sex. But hey sex is natural and was created for us to enjoy inside of marriage. She was not wrong to want sex with him, raping him on the other hand is completely wrong, it wouldn't be looked lightly upon if it was a husband raping his wife, so why the laughter? If people weren't so timid to talk about sex and their experiences or lack of, I think some of these shocks could be avoided. The only way things like this can't be avoided is when the person is a liar or a fraud during courting, and before anyone says they should have checked their sexual compatibility. Believe me, there is nothing stopping someone who chooses to engage in sex before marriage to pretend that they want it all the time when you do, and then as soon as the ring is on, to coincidentally always have a headache when you ask. . seriously. If someone wants to lie/pretend, they'll lie/pretend. |
| Romance › Re: My Girlfriend Broke Up With Me Bcus I Said She Is Stupid ,i Realy Love Her by topup: 10:33pm On Jul 27, 2009 |
To the OP; I think both of you need to calm down, if she loves you, even if you called her stupid, she will probably be calm enough to come around eventually, but I think the most important part is that you both calm down. Don't be too brash, you can live without her, if you love her, you'll do what it takes to get her back, but the more important lesson can be learnt in understanding what caused the argument, are you possesive, does she feel like she can't tell you everything or anything? What really happen, that's up to you to figure out what went wrong and correct it. I think Obnoxious' responses are borderline disgusting at times. Advising a person to beat another person, telling people that all women are stupid. It's more than obnoxious, and maybe it's the reaction he wants. |
| Romance › Re: Relationship Stages? And Chances. by topup: 10:01pm On Jul 27, 2009 |
Is it just me or do other people realise that since June 2005, it's been 4 years and not 10 months?? |
| Romance › Re: Ladies!what Happenned To Us. by topup: 9:24pm On Jul 27, 2009 |
netotse:Netotse, I didn't go anywere, maybe iwo ni o lo si ibikon imi. I'm good Pharoh:There is no definition of 'the right guy' it has to be within the definition of the person who is viewing that guy. Yes, you're right, we are less influenced by our parents now, as the whole society is moving towards wealth, parents will rather their children aim for academic and financial success before they start advising that the child should settle down. Whilst my grandmother got married at the age of 18 had my mother and then started working, my mother graduated from university, started working as a doctor and then had my siblings and I. This way her parents knew that she not only made the most of herself, but then she can provide for them, which is honestly what most parents in Nigeria want. I think 'back in those days' like you said, there wasn't a mention of the right man from the woman concerned because her parents chose for her, but still there was 'the right man', it's just the conditions were different, people were less unaware about the ladder which lead to the bigger picture of wealth, wealth for them would have been a succesfully run compound, lots of children to harvest and work on the farm and enough food and sufficient money to buy clothes. Now the idea of wealth has become more 21st century, it's now the multiple cars, the business or becoming a boss of a company, earning a fantastic salary, and maybe buying the parents a car or building them a home. Because of our desire to become wealthier as a country, parents are becoming more lenient on their daughters (which is good), a successful career woman is no longer an eyebrow raiser or concern. However, the final issue is that she must marry, or else in her parents eyes, it has all been in vain. |
| Romance › Re: Ladies!what Happenned To Us. by topup: 3:43am On Jul 27, 2009 |
hackingisfun:Being single @ 35 can have as much to do with the number of serious and committed men out there interested in 35 year old women as it does in the mentality of the women. Who knows maybe they have standards now .I doubt any woman who has a game plan for her life or isn't smart will be single at 35 because it's simple for her to give into the pressure and get with any random guy just so she will have a man in her life. A smart woman is more likely to remain single until she finds the right man, whether she is 35 or not. |
| Romance › Re: I Just Broke Up With My Boyfriend And I Aint Coping :( by topup: 3:38am On Jul 27, 2009 |
Awww don't worry, it's so easy to be short sighted, but the future's bright Just know that there will be many more where that came from. Also, he's probably missing you too (unless you were really terrible) .But honestly, there're so many things you can do, use this as a chance to enjoy singledom, go out with your girlfriends for a meal, look gorgeous, I'm sure some guys will compliment you in no time, put on your dancing shoes and your favourite tracks and dance the night away. |
| Romance › Re: Is It Good To Move In With A Guy You Are Not Yet Married To by topup: 11:11pm On Jul 26, 2009 |
I really don't believe that it is good to move into a house together. Even though couples like to go and act like they'll be together forever, deep down inside I believe that if you don't make it permanent/final (get married), then you still have doubt in your mind. Aside from financial reasons any other reasons to move in together is really an excuse. Usually it is the woman who is smitten with the guy, because most of us know when we want to be with a guy forever, and so we compromise and move in together, thinking that this is just one step closer to marriage, when in fact it's in the opposite direction. The more things you do without the committment the less likely you are going to want to make that commitment, and then comes the argument; "things are perfect just the way they are, why would you want to change that." or "marriage is just a piece of paper, we do everything else, why do we need it. If you live together, you see things that with more maturity and the knowledge that you have to work things through will help you solve, but obviously if you are not attached to that person you will always have the idea that you can always leave, and that idea is what means you won't work as hard to work things through. If you don't know that your to-be spouse is a wife-beater or is a cheater or is messy by the time you even consider moving together, then that's a bad sign and reflects badly on your judgment to begin with. |
| Romance › Re: Ladies!what Happenned To Us. by topup: 8:22pm On Jul 26, 2009 |
[quote author=Black_Revo link=topic=11515.msg4246261#msg4246261 date=1248488010]You are so right about the Nigerian system and that's one of the reasons why our girls are like this. Hope we are not also forgeting the influence of the western culture and all these hollywood romantic movies and mtv love shows. Men are not so threatened when their wives earn higher than them as you would think. Women don't know that the more you earn the more the man expects you to contribute to the family which most of our high earning women have been found wanting. How can you earn so much and still expect the man to give you money for clothes, money for hair, money for this and money that, this makes the man to start thinking that if i still do all these then what are you doing with all those your big earnings? When the man starts seeing expensive items on the woman's body which he knows he is not the one who provided it like jewelleries then he starts seeing himself as a fool to the woman. I just wish most girls could be like you and some of the posters above and they will realise that men could go to any length to provide for their wife if it willingly comes from their heart.[/quote]True. I agreed with you, but then I got confused when you said that "when the man starts seeing expensive items on the woman's body which he knows he is not the one who provided it like jewelleries then he starts seeing himself as a fool to the woman." I know that some men can feel this way. I was hoping it wasn't true. I agree that once you start earning more than your husband or wife, it'll be hard for you to start asking, that is why you don't read about men asking their girlfriends for 'pocket money' because the stereotype is that the wife earns less than the husband. |
| Romance › Re: Ladies!what Happenned To Us. by topup: 2:42am On Jul 25, 2009 |
Any smart woman thinks about the long term, whether her goals are to become rich or to have a successful marriage or future is her choice. A lot of women are choosing wealth over love, Nigeria is a country in which there is little faith in democracy or the idea of every man being the same, having the same chances to advance in life. In Nigeria it seems like it's about who you know, who you can steal from, who you can bribe and who takes favour in you. It doesn't encourage people to be hardworking or diligent or honest. Love comes waaaay further down that list. Personally, I would opt for love, I am good at providing for myself, but then again you get those men who feel threatened if their wives earn more than them. |
| Romance › Re: Kiss And Tell. Egoistic Or Not by topup: 1:56am On Jul 25, 2009 |
Everybody kisses and tells. Girls and guys alike. Girls will tell their best friends, in a hush-hush manner since they don't score points for laying their guy. Also, who knows the guy could be bragging about something that never happened, I know that happens a lot. I knew a girl whose reputation was ruined because in her first year of university she hung around with a guy she didn't know was a player who had a reputation to keep. The most she claimed to have done with him was kiss him, and watch movies, but he went around claiming they did SO MUCH MORE, after all it would hurt his cred to say that she got away, since he had 'great game' *coughs*. What is it with points anyways, would guys like it if a girl rushed back to say that she finally got that guy she'd been eyeing for ages to sleep with her, by pretending that she was interested in him for more than his body and she entertained his ego, and then she dishes out the dirt about the intricacies of the act with her best friends. How would that make a guy feel?? Cheap? I'm not so sure. |
| Nairaland General › Re: Winnergal Busted! by topup: 1:24am On Jul 25, 2009 |
I must admit, it's a tad bit annoying to know that some of the stories are lies, but you know what maybe it's just a reflection on either how boring that person's life must be (to the extent that they make up stories to strangers on the internet) or how unable the person is to tell the truth. Also sometimes, people try and manipulate the way that advice is given, so that they can find out whether they should do certain things, and avoid the judgement that comes with it. Imagine how many people in long-term relationships are online asking; "Shall I make a move on the girl I met today, or not." Anyways, I wonder if winnergal will be present in this thread. |
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