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 Family › Fathers Taking The Back Seat. by topup(op): 1:56pm On Jul 15, 2009 |
[color=#008855]I have noticed that in Nigerian culture (and many others aswell), the wife often has a greater responsibility in maintaining the household. I mean these days, it's not unusual for the wife to even have a job. For instance, my mother practically acts as both mother and father, when my father is away, she works crazy hours, comes home late, and before we were all able to look after ourselves, she'd come home and cook, she was the one who did most of the rearing. Okay, okay, so I guess my father is based in a different country, but my point is that he was okay to have such a situation, a situation where he knew that the other parent had an unfair share of the responsiblity, he was okay to live separate from his children, for whatever reasons known to the both of them. I have noticed this in other couples as well. Where my friend, though both of her parents brought her up, she is much closer to her mother, who was a stay-at-home wife, who looked after the children. My opinion is that in the 21st century, where women are trying to achieve success in both career and motherhood is it okay for men to still have the mentality of men before women's rights, is it okay for them to assume finanical provision covers everything? Is it ridiculous to ask that father contribute in the rearing of children, not just in being the last resort, when a kid's been bad "Go to your father.", but being an active character in the child's life. "Let's do your homework together." I vaguely remember my father doing such in our household, but there was always the idea that you had to go to mum first for everything. [/color] |
| Career › Re: Flower Design Work In Nigeria: An Unappreciated Profession? by topup: 1:44pm On Jul 15, 2009 |
Dis Guy:[color=#008855]True. [/color] |
| Romance › Re: Why Dogs Are Better Than Men <please Guys Didn't Kill Me> by topup: 5:08am On Jul 15, 2009 |
[color=#008855]Dogs can't work or pay bills, Dogs respond to food and attention and will easily jump ship if another person takes care of them better, even if they're not their owner, Dogs are much simpler than humans, hence they don't think in a complex manner, they don't have complex emotions and hence a lot are taken for granted, discarded and abused. [/color] |
| Nairaland General › Re: Moderators Tell This slowpoke gaggi To Remove My Picture. by topup: 5:03am On Jul 15, 2009 |
pc guru:[color=#008855]Maybe the contrast settings on your computer are different to mine, yes the contrast isn't as strong as it is with a black font colour, however the green doesn't strain my eyes. [/color] Can enter a topic without looking at the id and once i find it so hard to read i immediately conclude it's your post and never wrong.[color=#008855]I don't get this part. [/color] |
| Romance › Re: Before You Fall For That Pretty Face In Jeans Trousers In Nigeria by topup: 3:58am On Jul 15, 2009 |
[color=#008855]So legs are a big priority in finding the right girl. . wow. [/color] |
| Nairaland General › Re: Moderators Tell This slowpoke gaggi To Remove My Picture. by topup: 3:56am On Jul 15, 2009 |
pc guru:[color=#008855]It is to make it easier for me to find my replies when scrolling down a page and a unique mark I guess, which goes back to my first reason. But 'out of curiousity', why is my font colour an issue?? Others use font colours and even green. . [/color] |
| Romance › Re: I'm I Pregnant! Help! by topup: 3:53am On Jul 15, 2009 |
pc guru:[color=#008855]Haha, I didn't check properly, I sensed urgency and I replied. Outdated urgency  [/color] |
| Romance › Re: Please I Want To Know Cos I Am Worried by topup: 3:51am On Jul 15, 2009 |
009kk:[color=#008855]This reminds me of when I was younger and I used to ask my mum why she wouldn't let me do certain things, asking her why she didn't trust me, and she always used to say; "It's not because I don't trust you, it's because I don't trust them, the people out there." and I found it hard to believe it. But my mum went to all extents to try and keep me safe, same as you are for your girlfriend, but it will give off the impression that you don't think she can handle herself, either because you think she's stupid or naive or she makes bad decisions. I understand that many guys will tempt her, but you have to trust her, if she breaks it, then you get to know whether your relationship was even strong enough in the first place. I do know that there is a small percentage of girls who are truly naive, they have the best intentions but without being aware of the game some guys can have, they end up in compromising situations that they can't get out of. Just educate your girlfriend in the ways of men, I would appreciate it if I was your girlfriend, even if you feel like you're telling all the 'secrets of a player' or ruining another man's game, or breaking the code. [/color] |
| Nairaland General › Re: Moderators Tell This slowpoke gaggi To Remove My Picture. by topup: 3:44am On Jul 15, 2009 |
michelin89: |
| Romance › Re: Ages Of Nairalanders. by topup(op): 3:04am On Jul 15, 2009 |
brein:[color=#008855]So 39 then .[/color] |
| Romance › Re: Girls: Would U Let Your Bf Date Your Gf? by topup: 2:54am On Jul 15, 2009 |
follypimpi:[color=#008855]Lol. . true, true. As for the Puffy, Angel and Laura situation. With the new info, my respect for Angel is diminishing slowly, what's so wrong in walking away with your head held up high, now Puffy's ego is being fed by two women. A friendship broken up by a person, I don't like that at all, but I think it just goes to show how genuine Angel and Laura's friendship really was. Wow, I gotta get a glimpse at this Puffy guy, is he worth all this hassle?! Even if he was hot, would he still be worth all the hassle?! Angel might think bringing up a baby like that is the answer, but it sounds to me like she's just trying to tie Puffy to her, she probably hopes in future that Puffy will leave Laura and return to her to be the present father figure in her baby's life. How will she explain that to the child? How will she explain that the child cannot have a real relationship with her father and unlike other cases like this, this is actually a choice, it didn't happen that Angel was pregnant. She's actually choosing to complicate this situation. I hope Angel comes to her senses, I almost feel like she should read what everyone's said about the relationship on this forum, because it doens't sound like she's thinking right. How old is Angel again? [/color] |
| Career › Re: Flower Design Work In Nigeria: An Unappreciated Profession? by topup: 2:44am On Jul 15, 2009 |
[color=#008855]Bisowo, if we were permanently located in Nigeria I am sure we would appreciate your work because I am obsessed with this issue that it seems like the majority of Nigerians, don't want to spend money beautifying their homes. Most would prefer to spend money on a car, or clothes. Maybe this is because our family house in not located in Lagos or Abuja, where the average person earns a decent salary BUT it shocks me at the level of workmanship, crooked doors, bad paint jobs, splinters, buying cheap components and pocketing the rest of the money e.t.c. . It's just ridiculous, so many craftsmen/women work in the industry, but aren't even good at what they do. When will they learn that if a customer has a good experience using you, they will pass your name on, and you will be called back several times, all these builders, interior designers and general designers who just want the money and nothing else frustrate me. My advice is to just keep in it, if you truly love what you do, it will show. Location is also key, places like VI and PH and Abuja will probably have a bigger market for flower design, as opposed to the other more surburbial places in Nigeria. P.s. please post some pics of your work. . (unless it's against the forum rules.) [/color] |
| Nairaland General › Re: Moderators Tell This slowpoke gaggi To Remove My Picture. by topup: 2:39am On Jul 15, 2009 |
[color=#008855]I get what he means when he says 'I'm half man'. . [/color] |
| Romance › Re: Girls Love Free Things by topup: 2:32am On Jul 15, 2009 |
[color=#008855]At first I'm thinking, has he seen you're picture, because for all he knows you might not be his type. But then maybe he is the type that has his fiance like an accessory, he can put her on and take her off whenever he feels, maybe he just thinks he can have some spontaneous fun, this could be an excuse to meet another woman, as for giving away his things for free, I can understand, especially when money isn't an issue for him and maybe he might even consider throwing it away or giving it to charity. I think you just have to be smart. You know what you're like, if he starts to flirt or the boundaries blur, then DON'T do the typical nice girl thing, smile and laugh along - NO!! Just tell him right there and then that you're not interested in anything (and make sure you include friendship in that list). I trust that you're a smart girl, a situation like this could actually turn into something, after all even I'm wondering why he's driving down to come and give you a free printer and maybe a VCR. Please have some trustworthy friends (preferably male), there when he drops the stuff off, and make sure you clarify that he is getting nothing back in return, you don't have to be rude, just make a lot of references to the "I can't believe I'm getting all this FOR FREE." "Wow, I don't have to pay a thing!" All the best. [/color] |
| Romance › Re: I'm I Pregnant! Help! by topup: 2:21am On Jul 15, 2009 |
[color=#008855]Don't wait a week, just go to the nearest pharmacy and purchase the pill, depending on how long since you had sex. If you wait too long, you'll have to take even more drastic measures to avoid the pregnancy. Consult an unbiased and confidential doctor. Lastly, please learn from this, if you're not ready to handle a baby, then avoid having sex, after all no contraception is 100% effective. [/color] |
| Culture › Re: Cross Culture Relationship by topup: 1:55pm On Jul 14, 2009 |
sistawoman:[color=#008855]Good questions!! [/color] |
| Culture › Re: Cross Culture Relationship by topup: 1:51pm On Jul 14, 2009 |
[color=#008855]We should stop talking about cheating like it is an everyday occurence, it seems we've made such things much more mainstream (it's no longer swept under the rug). Everyone knows which Hollywood actress was cheated on and by who, and who's fathering babies by different mothers and we just casually flick over the page. I believe cheating should be seen as an outrage or abomination, on both sides, it doesn't matter male or female. Whether it's cultural is a different issue, because at first I was going to say it wasn't, but judging by the way African people talk about it. . "What do you expect." "Well, it happens." It makes me think that despite it occuring in every continent and culture around the world, it isn't as frowned upon in Africa, a country in which some areas still have high numbers of polygamous marriages and relationships, and if it isn't as frowned upon, there is less social pressure to refrain from partaking in it (in addition to all the other pressure too). I mean is it not the president's daughter that became the fourth wife of some chief? Correct me if I'm wrong - but it doens't seem to be as big of a deal to have multiple partners (especially if you're a man) - in Africa as opposed to other countries e.g. Europe e.t.c. *I've just realised that the poster changed the title, or had their title changed, my response was regarding the other responses.* [/color] |
| Romance › Re: What Is Going On? by topup: 1:36pm On Jul 14, 2009 |
[quote author=frank3.16 link=topic=296268.msg4184012#msg4184012 date=1247571466]its not their fault. people are transfering their aggression over here. boyfrend leave me, i take out on nairaland boys, girlfriend cheat on me i take it out on nairaland girls[/quote][color=#008855]Lol, yup. . that's how it seems. [/color] |
| Romance › Re: Girls: Would U Let Your Bf Date Your Gf? by topup: 1:23pm On Jul 14, 2009 |
[color=#008855]Seems to me like Laura was never one of Angel's closest friends, a true friend would try and block off seeing her friend's b/f is she got the vibe that he was interested in her, after all as adults, shouldn't they have passed the stage of believing in the Hollywood hype of there is ONE person for everyone. What I don't get from this story is that Angel seems suicidal, she must have really like puffy's quirkiness, I don't blame her, sometimes it doesn't matter about the looks, sometimes you just click with the person's personality. Right now, Angel should be reassured that she will meet another guy, and though he might not be Puffy, he could be better and if he treats her better, she might find him to be an upgrade. For all we know, this Laura & Puffy thing might not last, I mean the way the relationship is starting is really rocky, and they'll have lots of people to answer to (maybe even Angel's parents). Relationships have a hard time lasting when they start-off great let alone when you've lost a friend (Laura), you've broken a girl's heart (Puffy) and you've disappointed some people close to you (Puffy & Laura). I'm not happy that Puffy used Angel, he knew he wasn't really into her, but he played along, probably enjoyed all the pros of the relationship too, he must have loved the fact that all his friends were jealous of him and this hot & successful woman, that may have spurred him on. Lastly, Angel was the innocent party, (from what I've read), the guys knew that Puffy wasn't into her from the beginning and they stuck their noses into it, sure, Puffy could have said no and maintained it, but he didn't. [/color] |
| Romance › Re: Ages Of Nairalanders. by topup(op): 1:12pm On Jul 14, 2009 |
190:[color=#008855]I wouldn't have said that you think like a 50 year old man or reason like you're 55. Shouldn't you be looking after your grandchildren and setting them a good example, instead of chasing 'babes'?? [/color] [color=006600][color=#008855]Haha, I see what you've done there!! [/color] |
| Culture › Re: If You Can Speak Yoruba, Talk It In Here! by topup: 1:06pm On Jul 14, 2009 |
tubabie:[color=#008855]Hahaha, o ye ki mo mo ni pe odun ni, sugbon ki nitumo gbiyanju, (ejo, se le so ni oyinbo fun mi )? Eyin ati topsy25 le so.[/color] |
| Christianity Etc › Re: Idol Worship In The Roman Catholic Church by topup: 12:24pm On Jul 14, 2009 |
Bobbyaf:[color=#008855]I understand, thanks for the response. Below your response, are what do you know, MORE attacks at other faiths. When someone can defend their faiths without having to put down others, then you know the faith is worthy of it, but when all anyone can say is, well "Other people are worse." Then you have to think what are they really hiding. Do they accept the claims made about their faith?? I know plenty Catholics who attend mass and then they think that's all it takes. I don't think Catholism places the emphasis where it should be. Yes, some Christians worship money and are greedy and sinful, but they are afterall humans too, who sin, we are not perfect, the difference is that the faith does not encourage such behaviour, if anyone asks any devoted Christian, they will tell you straight that all those sins are in fact sins, unlike what I see here, when people are trying to justify why it's good to bow down to a statue. I'm not saying they're going to hell, that's not for me to decide, but when it's been pointed out and outlined, why continue. My ex was a catholic, but he never went to church, never was truly spiritual, it was more like something to fill up the religion section on facebook, he wasn't close to God at all, he was so afraid it was unbelievable, he was more concerned on whether I spelt God with a capital 'G' than getting closer to God. Yes, he is only one catholic, but even at church one pastor came to tell us of his experience growing up as a catholic, as he shed tears talking about when he finally found God, it was then I was convinced. I know I can't stereotype, but these people are slowing confirming my ideas about Catholism. Note, I said Catholism and NOT Catholics. [/color] |
| Art, Graphics & Video › Re: Cinema4d Forum by topup: 12:10pm On Jul 14, 2009 |
[color=#008855]I'm so impressed, I don't use Cinema4D but I would love to learn how to use it for both rendering and meshing/modelling. I currently use SketchUp to model and I render everything in Indigo - if anyone's heard of it. [/color] |
| Christianity Etc › Re: Idol Worship In The Roman Catholic Church by topup: 6:47pm On Jul 13, 2009 |
[color=#008855]I have always thought if it is that simple, then why is it so successful and so many people across the continents are Catholics, if it is one of the biggest contradictions ever. I would like if people responded with reasons and justifications and not just digs at the other person's religion. Because when you take them out the picture, will you be able to stand on your own two feet?? [/color] |
| Culture › Re: If You Can Speak Yoruba, Talk It In Here! by topup: 6:33pm On Jul 13, 2009 |
[color=#008855]Awon ti wo le so yoruba, pelu awon ti wo le ko yoruba, mo wa jealous o. E jo, e ma re rin si ikon ti mo ko, nitori mi o ti gbe ni Nigeria fun 13 years (13 ojo). Ti e ba ri mistake, ejo k'e ba mi korrect eh.  [/color] |
| Crime › Re: Is Female Circumcision The Best Way To Control Promiscuity? by topup: 6:26pm On Jul 13, 2009 |
[color=#008855]I was originally going to say 'no' but then I thought apart from the actually physical feelings and hormones associated with urges to have sex. Knowing you've been circumsized (if forcefully) can make a person very ashamed, because now a days outside traditional cultures, it is looked down upon. There is even a charity working to try and stop it. If you are ashamed of your genitals then chances are you're not going to be flaunting them around. But that reasoning sounds a bit superficial. [/color] |
| Business › Re: Buying Goods From China by topup: 6:23pm On Jul 13, 2009 |
nio68:[color=#008855]Yeah, it sounds quite dodgy. [/color] |
| Romance › Re: Ages Of Nairalanders. by topup(op): 6:21pm On Jul 13, 2009 |
sweetpie23:[color=#008855]Yup!! After my grandma, she's the coolest grandma ever!! [/color] |
| Romance › Re: Ages Of Nairalanders. by topup(op): 6:19pm On Jul 13, 2009 |
bluespice:[color=#008855]Lol. . As in Legally allowed to apply for life insurance, which would mean you're above the age of sixty - hot!! [/color] |
| Romance › Re: Ages Of Nairalanders. by topup(op): 6:17pm On Jul 13, 2009 |
sweetpie23:[color=#008855]I can  . Have you read about the 80+ year old spanish woman who has a blog??[/color] |
| Romance › Re: Ages Of Nairalanders. by topup(op): 6:13pm On Jul 13, 2009 |
GEW:[color=#008855]Haha, really?? Cool, cool. Well, I'm 20. I act like I'm 40 online, and 15 in real life. Now no one's going to find my advice helpful, since it's now been revealed that I'm not above 80  *sobs*. .As for the 'idle' accusations and spending a lot of time online, I do a lot of graphic & web design on my computer as work, I enjoy chatting & discussing things and lastly I have broadband - get over it puh-lease!! .[/color] |
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