₦airaland Forum

[color=#cc0066]I want to give your 'husband' the benefit of the doubt, but unfortunately, I can't, you seem to have overlooked one major factor, which was that he cheated on you, unprotected sex to make it worse, I know you probably trust him, and think that he only did it that once, but not only he is actually considering marrying this girl, as his second wife. If the guy truly loved you, he would not, he would understand that he has to work ten times as hard to try and save his existing marriage. This is the 21st century, a pregnancy does not imply that the father must marry the pregnant woman. If he was single, that is what I would personally advise, but since he is already married, it would just be further ruining your marriage and its santity by adding another wife.

Can you even imagine such a household. Maybe the best thing to do if you absolutely wish to keep your husband and work on your marriage is to adopt the baby, I actually can't understand why anyone in this day and age would gladly want to be the second wife (unless if their incentive is the husband's wealth).

Please pray about this, during the times when nobody can help you or listen to you, God will and is.

Take care, and all the best.
Please keep us updated.[/color]

[color=#cc0066]Sounds like a joke. But hey, this is the 21st century, more unusual fetishes.[/color]

[color=#cc0066]But then after communication, he has to be willing to work at it, a relationship cannot be tackled by just one person alone. Really, I believe that if a guy does not want anything to do with you, that is how it is going to be, likewise if it was the woman who wanted to leave.

Communication is a great start, but from experience, some withold communication about the things that matter the most or the problems, but are able to maintain communication about the positive things. e.g. doubts are left to grow and fester in the mind, whilst compliments and sweet nothings just roll off the tongue.[/color]

[color=#cc0066]That's why I spend these days updating my blog , a place for essays![/color]

[color=#cc0066] I feel so flattered!

I must admit that I have broken down a few times myself, but my fellow Nairalanders have put me straight and helped me out.

[/color]

[color=#cc0066]You need to talk to her one on one, and really, honestly, ask her if she will forgive you, if she forgives you, it means that she must not bring back the past (which is a million times easier to say than do). It seems as if you just crossed the line before you decided to stop cheating, I think you realised you crossed the line too, that's why this time you stopped whilst the first warning you didn't heed the warning, I believe she has already left you emotionally. Also, when you are the person who has done wrong, you should try to avoid getting into arguments, she might feel like 'after all you've put me through, you still have the nerve to be arguing with me'.

This needs to be sorted out, as soon as possible, both of you may be dragging it along unnecessarily, also does she want this relationship? Why is she still with you, when she acts like she can't stand you?

Ask all the questions you need in the conversation and if her response doesn't sound positive, my advise is for both of you to agree to move on.[/color]

[color=#cc0066]I hope you have enough self-control so that you never act on this urge, whether these women are above the age of 20 or not, it would completely destroy your family if you were to act on your impulses towards these women, remember that everything has consequences, even if your mistake is only a 'quick' one. How about you try and find ways to bond with your own children AND your wife, maybe try and re-introduce some romance into your marriage. Truly, your wife should be the only woman, who you can imagine doing anything sexual with, the other women, yeah, it's normal to acknowledge their beauty/looks.

Just don't act on it.

I doubt anybody will advise you otherwise.[/color]

[color=#cc0066]Most people seem to hold the opinion that if you can master all these 'elements' - cooking, maintaining the house, sex, conversation, a man will not want to cheat on you or will be satisfied.

I believe that this is not the case, just as much as I disagree with a point made by a poster saying that 'a man will always try to find better', can we say that every mistress is 'the perfect wife' NO. I believe most of them, are only able to master the element that the man is lacking in his existing relationship, so men who have wives who are great cooks, great conversation, good looking, leave them for a mistress who is great in bed, or a wife who is great in bed, great cook, but leave them for a mistress who engages their minds.

Men want it all, and not just men, humans want it all, have our cakes and eat it.

Also, another point is the fact that a lot of people sometimes don't want to believe that they have found the 'best' out there for them, they would only be convinced if it comes after a long tortorous search and many many relationships.

That is why a lot of relationships when we're young end, we still have the mentality that something better exists.

I have always thought that men by nature are always on a search to better themselves and to achieve the best, so sometimes they don't appreciate the good or great, their eyes are always set on 'THE BEST' and generally, if you don't keep them on their toes forever, and the relationship starts to slip into pattern or familiarity, then it is very easy for them to believe that the grass is greener on the other side.

I believe as women, we can try and try to captivate a man's heart, but it all lies with ONE thing, a man will be captivated ONLY if he wishes to be, if he is willing to listen, work hard on a relationship, if he has realistic expectations and such. A man who has his criteria for the perfect wife, may never be captivate-able unfortunately.[/color]

[color=#cc0066]Great song!

Quite a lot of kissi-kissi!![/color]

[color=#cc0066]Older guys are more likely to have been in enough relationships to know what they want, they've probably been through the bad boy phase, and yes there is a certain level of maturity, it increases with age, I'm not saying all older guys are mature, but it is more likely - not guaranteed.[/color]

[quote author=Aloy.Emeka link=topic=165148.msg2722193#msg2722193 date=1219973348]
Why are we men so afraid of commitment but not afraid of sex? [/quote][color=#cc0066]Because there is a difference between the two, and whilst they can detach emotion from sex, you have to put a lot of effort and care and emotion into commiting to someone.

Sex also is almost like a drug for some, exciting, nowadays we only seem to have positive connotations of the word, whilst commitment has almost like a dark cloud floating above it, I am sure a lot of men see commiting equally as exciting as being locked up in a cage for the rest of their lives.[/color]

[color=#cc0066]I completely agree with the OP, our aim is to reach people not put them off or scare them, not everybody is suited to public evangelism, and maybe one to one conversations can be more effective, however, a lot of people die not knowing Christ so there is a level or urgency when delivering the Good News.[/color]

[color=#cc0066]I don't believe guys who are not marriage material can be converted into marriage material. Have we forgotten free will? The men themselves have to genuinely believe that they should change their ways. It is not wise to start a relationship with someone, that you intend to change before you can go ahead and marry them because, how do you guarantee that they will change, or that they will not change back.

If someone is NOT marriage material, the best thing to change them is life and time. Most people sort out their ways by the time they reach the age that all their friends and exs are getting married and they are slowly becoming outnumbered.[/color]

[color=#cc0066]Can someone explain the scam to me, is it just to obtain someone's email OR is it just a cover up for 419 (I hope it isn't some scam to get innocent people to meet them in real life, and then kidnap or blackmail them).[/color]

idupaul:
I understaand why u aint gt friends

your fat
your poor
same reason why a lot of people don't have friends.

[color=#cc0066]Very unnecessary!

- Juliet what type of friends? After all we are in the romance section. [/color]

[color=#cc0066]It sounds a little dodgy to me, since you would ideally want to get married before signs of the pregnancy start to show (if not already) so why the to be mother-in-law is blackmailing you for bride price in this day and age surpasses me.

It seems like it is a money issue, otherwise if you were willing to marry her daughter, I don't know why she'D put anything in the way.

You have to think of many things;

- What does your girlfriend want in all of this?

- DO you want to marry her?

- Can you afford the bride price (sum)

- Can you afford the bride price (if paid in installments - I know silly but if it's got to be done, )

- Will the M-I-L let you pay in installments

- Can you live with the idea of your beloved girlfriend having an abortion of your child

- Will you be forced to break up the relationship if the pregnancy is terminated/bride price is not paid


I need to know more.
This situation seems to have been made further unnecessarily complicated by the M-I-L, your best hope maybe to talk to her to reassure her that you intend to be responsible in whatever action you take and you have her daughter's best interest (which I hope you genuinely do).[/color]

[color=#cc0066]I'm wondering where the navy blue colour is in the arsenal badge you haD as your profile pic.[/color]

[color=#cc0066]Hehe, it's a compliment!!!

Btw, what's up with that arsenal logo, where's the navy, why's there white instead?[/color]

[color=#cc0066]Because you are fine just the way you are.[/color]

[color=#cc0066]Hehehe! I don't need to do that! [/color]

[quote author=_bami link=topic=164950.msg2719348#msg2719348 date=1219936211]either photoshop or that mirror has got some special abilities.

@topup, hurry up with your adaptation[/quote][color=#cc0066]Look above at my post, its an animation, the widening and slimming of the hips.

I'm too quick for you.



I WANNA SAY THOUGH, THOUGH IT APPEARS TO BE PHOTOSHOPPED, IT COULD BE REAL ASWELL. IT'S A REALLY BLURRY PIC. JUST SHOWING YOU GUYS WHAT CAN BE DONE TO MAKE AN AMAZING PIC CRAZY AMAZING![/color]