₦airaland Forum

[color=#cc0066]Nah, it's just a lot of women, like myself, end up in the wrong relationships because they didn't know what they were looking for before the heartbreak, after the heartbreak, they realise it, and all the flaws in the guy and the relationship.

I believe with every break up, I refine my search criteria, and it's good knowing that I'm getting closer to him.

I know there are plenty good men, I surround myself with them, however, sometimes I fall into the habit of thinking my good guys have good friends, but that isn't always the case.

I know so many great guys, maybe it's because they are also Christian, but I know so many focused guys, and I know all I'm looking for a the specifics, e.g. physical attraction, and interests in common, otherwise, if I wanted a basic good guy, I have several to choose from.

P.s. I love your signature![/color]

[color=#cc0066]I made this topic because I was bored of the existing ones (and replied to most of them anyways), why must everything be about my ex!

I often come up with random topic ideas, why can't this just be one of them, why must everything be linked back to my hurting.

I don't even think my ex was such a Bad Boy, really and I wasn't attracted to him because he was one, I didn't even find him all that attractive, he was just really confused.

This topic has nothing to do with my ex, it has more to do with the other topics I replied to where women had been talking about players and such![/color]

topup:
[color=#cc0066]I am talking about the basic, compulsive liar, repetitive cheater and money hungry user.

Guys feel free to contribute or talk about if no guys didn't tolerate money hungry, shallow, cheating women.[/color]

- My ex wasn't a compulsive liar, nor did he cheat on me, or was he money hungry.

engineerd:
@ Don_Ese125
out of all the words written on this topic, u are the only one i can relate with and u make absolute freakin sense! Life is an experience, and from my experiences, i have learned that LOVE IS PRAGMATIC! It can definitely work, but it has to be PRAGMATIC, LOGICAL and GENUINE for it to last forever and of-course GOD has to sanctify it! I am not a cynic , but it is true, I have gone through the blind LOVE thing, not good! What i can say for sure is that, it has definitely made me a wiser person. Still patiently waiting for that woman i will cherish for the rest of my Life, more than anything, i have to be sure i cherish her, that is pretty important!

[color=#cc0066]Love can be pragmatic but it isn't always. I believe, at one point, we will all have an excuse as to why we have been hurt before and why we think that is a good reason to hold back from something in front of us. It seems to me then that engineed, you have no problem committing yourself to a relationship, as long as it fits the conditions you mentioned above. I am however discussing people who use it as an excuse, or the people who despite everything going 'right' feel that something will go wrong, and in doing so, they end up bringing that exact thing they feared. They withdraw from the person who may have been logical, genuine and pragmatic with them all because they are scared of the 'too good to be true' or 'this is it'.

I believe everyone shouldn't let their pasts get in way, and that is definitely easier said than done, our church had a guest speaker two weeks ago, who had been abused, and lived in poor conditions, in which men had treated her bad and she still let her heart trust men, and she is happily married with two kids. I believe it is the grace of God that allowed her to forgive and move on, but compared to a lot of us, I would say that her reasons were the most genuine, I am grateful that I have not been raped or mistreated in that way, so why should I let a broken heart by some careless person dictate the number of great catches I let slip.

I wish the best for everybody, but it does get a little boring, when people use it as a barrier. Explain it to me, yes, warn me, but don't use it as a barrier so that you can just stick it infront of me everytime we are getting close, and don't enter into countless relationships unless you are genuinely going to try and overcome the habit.[/color]

Rules:

No more than 5 lines per post/reply.
Think out of the box!
[color=#cc0066]
She was worried what had happened to her boyfriend, since he said he'D call. He normally would have cancelled their dinner plans by text at least, and after 4 attempts to ring him he still hadn't picked up. Katie's intuition was never wrong, and she knew it was very unlike him, Matthew was the responsible type, who knew what was acceptable and what wasn't so the silence was killing her. She quickly put on some clothes and drove to his place, and with the spare key, she entered the flat. 'Matthew! Matthew! It's me!' she called out as she walked towards, the kitchen, living room and then as she walked towards the bedroom, she heard some movement. She creaked open the door and her jaw dropped open when she saw. . .[/color]

[color=#cc0066]'I have no idea what you are on about' - means
I have no idea what you mean.
I have no idea what you are talking about.
I have no idea what you are trying to convey[/color]

[color=#cc0066]PART TWO ALREADY!!!!

Sistawoman has a point! But from the girl's perspective, she must be feeling mighty good since he can't do any better than her.[/color]

[color=#cc0066]Most people consider bad boys to be the ones women should stay away from, as in nothing positive can be gained from being in a relationship with one.[/color]

[color=#cc0066]I truly enjoyed reading that blog entry! Thanks for sharing it with us

A woman is well composed and is certain in her abilities, to the point she is now able to contribute selflessly to another human being.
A girl is still finding her way around, learning lessons the hard way and falling for the same old trick in different disguises.


A man has integrity and aspirations, he tries to use every last bit of himself to make the difference, he is level headed and understands that he must always continue to push on to better himself.
A boy wants the hear and now, and still believes that a shortcut exists to true happiness.[/color]

[color=#cc0066]This stuff is sick!

You guys sure love to talk and gossip! [/color]

[color=#cc0066]Funny stuff, but obviously everyone's different.

Hehe at 'overdance'.[/color]

[color=#cc0066]A lot of disaster marriages in the circle of people our family knows, so I'm actually very cynical about 'true love' and men. [/color]

[color=#cc0066]It's been more than a month, may I ask how it went?[/color]

[color=#cc0066]Well, just explain to him that you care for him but you want to take things slow, so you don't get hurt. It's better than him misunderstanding it and believing that you are withdrawing from him. All the best! God Bless [/color]

[color=#cc0066]Specifically 5 years?? [/color]

[color=#cc0066]I was just thinking, though people disagree, it is often by our choice that we enter into relationships with these 'Bad' boys, the ones who will play us and mistreat us.

Now, is it the Bad boys who find us? Or is it us who find the Bad boys?

Honestly, if we didn't tolerate any of this rubbish, would they have no option but to change their ways, and I don't mean if one woman didn't tolerate it, I mean if every single woman in the world rejected these guys.

Would they change their ways.

I believe they would be forced to - obviously there are flaws to this concept as it's all relative, one woman's bad guy could be another's hero.

I am talking about the basic, compulsive liar, repetitive cheater and money hungry user.

Guys feel free to contribute or talk about if no guys didn't tolerate money hungry, shallow, cheating women.

Could we erradicate them?[/color]

[color=#cc0066]Let's not forget the other side to this story. Does she seem like she's ready for marriage or wants a future with you? Please don't enter into something with ignorance, have you two discussed a future together.

Also, I don't anyone who isn't directly involved in the relationship can give you direct advice, we can only tell you what would be a smart thing to do. Are you in any rush, you sound like you want to 'waste' no more time in getting to know her and want to marry her ASAP.[/color]

[color=#cc0066]idupaul ,

'facility' - I mean no offence by the way.[/color]

Ujujoan:
Really? so why did s/he leave in the first place??

[color=#cc0066]He's only a nice person to the person he's with now. Otherwise, he couldn't careless about you, and that is not nice.[/color]

ima1:
@ Topup
if you would actually take your advice im sure your life would be great, girl you really need to let go n move on, relationships end for various reasons, the best thing you would do for youself is try to forget about the past. because alot of your post is about your break up, lol looks like your still the one dwelling in the past, im sure this dude might have moved on n its killing you (_{don;t take this the wong way})

[color=#cc0066]I am trying to, but like I've said before, I get periods where I remember him, I get out of them, and I'm myself again. Yes it's easier said than done, but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be said at all . It is killing me that I think he's moved on, where's my happy ending dammit!! Thanks nonetheless![/color]

[color=#cc0066]Awwwww[/color]

[color=#cc0066]Are you sure you're not just infatuated with her, Man! Does it even matter lol! Love or Infatuation?!?!?!

The point at hand is, you have feelings for her, whether these are because she is out of your reach I'm not sure, and you may never know yourself, but you should avoid her at all costs, because if you make any moves, it'll always come back to bite you.

Unless, theirs is an unserious relationship, I would never advise you to go for it. Until she reciprocates any sort of mutual feeling, it is best to move on and find another girl.

This is SO common, why? Because friends tend to be alike, so the qualities you might be looking for in a girlfriend your friend also finds those qualities attractive.

The general verdict is to move on, but only you know the situation. Don't be selfish, if you were your friend how would you react to the news?[/color]

[color=#cc0066]That's terrrible. If I was his boyfriend, I would leave him and file a police report for abuse, get a restraining order.
If he was my sister's boyfriend, I would ground her in the house and insist on her doing the above, if it was my daughter's boyfriend (though I don't have one) I would ground her in the house and insist she do the above

There is no reason why anyone should lay their hands on another human being, men are a lot stronger than women and something like that could kill someone.[/color]