₦airaland Forum

[color=#cc0066]LOL Zaragoza, thanks for your concern BUT! I am pretty fine, I love Nairaland, it is currently my obsession. I also have a blog, I also have Facebook, I am currently stuck indoors most days. I spend my time roaming the internet, designing graphics on photoshop, emailing friends. I am addicted to my laptop, and it's killing my spine!

I mean I've got something fun planned this weekend, so I probably won't be on Nairaland. [/color]

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[color=#cc0066]Good point Karmamod, though I am sure we both know why.[/color]

[color=#cc0066]In Nigeria I will say that this decision to be affliated with someone famous could cost you your life. I have read so many reports of attack on Nollywood actors and actresses, singers and such, by police and armed robbers.

But in the worldly sense, I wouldn't mind if he earned his fame, like through something academically related, but not if he earned from just being at all the parties.

I wouldn't mind too much either if he was just the son of. . .
It wasn't his fault that he was thrust into the limelight and with clever strategies he can still keep his private life private.[/color]

[color=#cc0066]This sounds like the case of anger and resentment that has been building up for a long time, and the sarcastic comment was a channel for it to be unleashed, if this situation was independent of any previous arguments or points, I'm sure you two would have made up by now.

I think he is being immature, but we don't know what he is thinking, the best person to judge that is you and only you.

I believe someone has to 'give in', I guess the person who wants the argument to end the most. This could also be an issue of pride, it's unfortunate that he's not even in the house to be talked to or his cell is off.

I think the only thing is to wait for him to come round and to suck in your pride when he finally decides to talk to you. You don't want an explosion after all.

Stay strong. God Bless.[/color]

[color=#cc0066]Wonderful stories. Well, yes of course y'all read about me, but I have managed to avoid him for more than a month, and would have been almost two months if it wasn't for me trying to be friendly and amicable. But I really couldn't be botherd putting more effort into it. I'm doing good, but every so often I remember, and I get angry, not because I want to be back with him but because he has moved on and has not apologised.

What I meant about forgetting the Ex is that you achieve a state of mind in which they are just a distant memory, that you don't think about them. How awesome would it be to receive a phone call from an Ex who left you, and you answer saying 'John who' or 'Katie who' lol. . .

I think that will bug the Ex more than anything. They always want some of ego satisfaction knowing that they can still tug on your heartstrings, but don't let them.

I'm proud of you Babygirlfl![/color]

[color=#cc0066]Real men are scarce if we're looking at boys, I'm ~ 20, so these are still boys, when I get to the age ~25 - 30, they will become more plenty. Life makes boys into men (well most).

I now know better what I want, because I'm getting better at seeing what I don't want.[/color]

[color=#cc0066]Well, I would let her know, you ain't gonna wait around for someone who can be barely be bothered to put effort into the relationship. Seems like she's having doubts or her eyes are wondering, you need to talk to her, because we can't tell you what's on her mind.[/color]

[color=#cc0066]I would never get into a guy who has just shown interest in me's car. Principle.

This is where you get the story when the girl tells of kidnap or rape, and then everyone on Nairaland says, it was her fault for dressing provocatively and entering a stranger's car.

A stranger is a stranger, whether nice or not.

Or maybe I'm just different like that. I can just hear the sound of my parents warning me not to throw caution in the wind for 'love', it's not worth the risk and if it's meant to be, a simple no. swap could lead to more. The guy seems rushed a bit, asking to know where she lives and her no. and his house, I mean he really doesn't want to lose such a 'fine' catch [/color]

[color=#cc0066]I'm sorry to say this, but sista, you'll probably get the blame for this. I mean you can't be mad at someone for taking offence at what you said or being oversensitive, you just have to respect their feelings, which means, sucking up your pride and apologising. It'll be worth it, you'll get your loving husband back, and he'll feel like his feelings matter to you.

Without sarcasm, you basically insulted/teased him, we're lucky in this world to have sarcasm, but at the same time, it doesn't always work, because sometimes there's an element of truth behind the jokes me make, and it always depends whether the person chooses to take offence or not.

Lol, some skinny chick said to me. . 'we'll it's because you're a fat b****' once and I remember laughing at it trying to convince myself it was sarcasm, but deep down inside I thought there maybe an element of truth to it since she would view me that way, even if we are friends.

It depends how you choose to take things, I chose to take it as a joke, but I told her it hurt my feelings, which she obviously denied intending to do.[/color]

[color=#cc0066]I guess everyone's looking for different things, but I know the general idea is that a lot of great guys get ignored because you get the non-marriage material ones pretending to be great but with that extra edge i.e. Bad boys, this extra edge just makes the women think they have the perfect guy, but then when it comes down to it, it was all pretence.

It takes a while before people know exactly what they want in a guy, and that's when stability and reliability start becoming really importance, and things such as physical attraction and swagger start to decline down the list.

I'm speaking for myself though, though to be honest, I have known what I wanted in a guy ever since I was 15.

Also, knowing what you want in a guy also implies that you know what you don't want in a guy, in fact I spend more time learning about what I don't like than what I do. What I don't like are the things that I think are the most important to find out, but these I find that only experience will really show these to me.[/color]

[color=#cc0066]I don't know, it's just more important to them I guess. Just like some people will never date anyone shorter than them . . [/color]

[color=#cc0066]I don't think the person, whoever it is, is even addressing the topic at hand, they've just gone off course because they read something they didn't like.

Poor Ruby! [/color]

xyoung:
From what you are demonstrating,anybody will easily infer that u are one those[b] FRUSTRATED and DEJECTED little WHORES who dnt have a little bit of HOME UP BRINGING and HOME TRAINING

i dnt blame you,because it is not your fault my young girl.i seriously Blame the GOVT for LETTING out CONVICTS and LUNATICTS like you [/b]PARADING the streets
My advice is that
YOU TRY TO WATCH YOUR BACK because You never can Tell hu u are MESSING up with.

[color=#cc0066]xyoung. I have never read so much venom from someone on this forum. I don't think you understand the magnitude of your words, there is a clear difference between a smart and cunning joke or tease and a direct insult.

I don't think calling anybody a bitch should be tolerated, except the very few instances when it is used in an obviously jokey manner.

I am disappointed that you are talking in such a manner to a person you don't even know, and I am also sure that not a lot of your 'fellow' men will want to have you as their spokesperson/representative because you have stooped to the level of insults, and the point is completely lost! [/color]

[color=#cc0066]Personally, it sounds like both of them are compromising themselves, one is willing to marry someone who doesn't love them and the other is willing to marry someone they don't love. Who knows, it could work out, but why go ino such a thing. I don't understand how the guy must be thinking, maybe he loves her so much that in a way his excess of love balances her lack of.

I believe, there is no rush, I mean after 1 year or so of marriage, they wouldn't have seen the big deal in waiting more months before getting married, as we are talking, THE REST OF THEIR LIVES. It is a decision that should not be taken lightly. To be honest, I have seen many marriages in which the woman isn't completely head over heels in love with her husband but she performs all other duties to a tee so she is not faulted. But, I still think that it's not good enough, there is someone out there for everyone who we can love, who will love us back.

If she is anything like me, the love WILL grow over time, but I would have a positive feeling about the guy, if she feels nothing for him now (assuming they've been together for quite some time now) then I would be very cautious.

Is there any pressure for them to marry so soon? Age? Family? Tradition?[/color]

[color=#cc0066]Just tell her that it's okay to let it out. Also, tell her that the pain she is feeling is only temporary, it will get better with time, and that if she had stayed with him she would be in pain too, and when it finally ends, she'd be in more pain because it went on for longer.

She should accept that there are just some 'nasty' people out there. I have this same problem, accepting that some people just are not nice [/color]

[color=#cc0066]Thanks!

Let's talk about you guys for once, anyone else got anything to share about the best revenge to an ex. Maybe even better revenge is to move on with someone new, and include forgetting about them, as in, so you're actually like 'Ex who?', because if they're on your mind, you have no peace of mind, and who knows, they could be having a great time without you so it's not worth it.[/color]

[color=#cc0066]Awww, it's the case of one sided love again![/color]

[color=#cc0066]Maybe, but you have to ask if that's what she wants!!!

Now, tell me what happened!! [/color]

[color=#cc0066]Stop buying her things, if she leaves you (though this topic is pretty old), then you will have your answer.[/color]

[color=#cc0066]Hehehehe! Most people on the internet are 'aesthetically challenged', they probably feel the discrimination that comes from not being as good looking as others is completely reduced, and also, if it is an insecurity, they have confidence that you don't have to know about it, and they can be who they wanna be online.[/color]

[color=#cc0066]I'd like thoughtful gifts (not just expensive gifts) but as a woman, I would feel special to anybody who cherishes the day I was born.[/color]

[color=#cc0066]If you visit the dating-zone, you will see many many more of these type of topics. I don't batter an eyelid anymore, the guy is just being frank.[/color]

[color=#cc0066]It doesn't have to be this way forever, hard work and perseverance, and this phase should pass, I can't how long it'll last however, but if they are willing to go for it, then they can use strength in numbers to help each other out.[/color]

ima1:
i do not think you need an endless fight, i was in that situation, i did not break up with my ex when i left naija but after 5 years of no contact we grew apart, when i went back home 3 years ago he came visiting n it was clear we were facing different direction, there was no spark, no love, nothing. early this year i went back home got married lol didn't invite him to the wedding, then i got an email saying why didn't you invite me to your wedding n im happy for you.

so there is no need for a big fight, with time you will both grow apart.

[color=#cc0066]Wow that sounds like such a terrible way to deal with someone. I'm not sure I could learn to speak to a person who deserts me and then doesn't even tell me what's happening in future![/color]

[color=#cc0066]If you feel it is something that is very much a part of you and has made you who you are today, then why not, no point holding something like that from someone you love. Though there is fear that he may leave, you have to weigh if the positive result is worth the risk of losing the relationship, because if he accepts you despite your past, your bond will be stronger, you will feel more connected to him.

If however, you couldn't care less about the abortion, then maybe don't tell, especially if you'D rather pretend it never happened.

Me personally, with my conscience, I would have to tell no matter what it is.[/color]

[color=#cc0066]I would have loved to meet him in a Charity event or something world-help related. Or maybe even at some youth gathering.

His first words:

'Hey I'm Mr. Nice Nice and I'm not going to rape you on the first date.' *places hand on heart*

ACTUALLY!

I would like him to say something funny about something we are both watching or doing. Not to be like 'I like your body.' or 'Your beautiful', but to be like 'Don't you think he should that's a little silly' - then I will giggle coyly
And add my own, then we can get into conversation. I am looking more towards his wittiness and conversation skills, not just his first words.
He has to be intelligent and sharp
Captivate my mind.

Funny thing is I like to get the impression from a guy that the last thing he is thinking of is 'hitting it off with me' or 'asking for my number'. I want to be almost surprised that he asked at the end of it, giving the impression that he was very genuinely interested in the conversation.[/color]

[color=#cc0066]I'm in a humerous mood, so I'm going to say that last line of yours was good Kolsrah![/color]

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