₦airaland Forum

hardon1:
I guess All those asking him to change phone line or ignore them totally aare not married.

You are wrong. Lots of people asking him to ignore the wife's family have passed through similar problems.

It is not advisable to totally ignore you family or inlaws family irrespective of their behaviour. No one knows what tomorrow may breed.

Bone that thing. It is when tomorrow comes and you need their help that you will realise they no send you. Most of us have been disappointed by people you helped thinking they would help you in return when you need their help.

Once thing I perceive from this is that the poster loves his wife very much and that love that extends to her family

So because you love your wife, her family should use that to blackmail and extort money from you?

Like someone said, put them on a stipend agreed by u and ur wife and stick to it... Don't be afraid to be termed stingy or wicked inlaw. They will always say but with time , they will adjust.

Put them on stipend, why? Are they providing any service to you or your family? So her whole family will be sitting on their ass and be expecting monthly salary from me. What about stipends to my own father, mother, brothers and sisters? Don't they deserve monthly stipends from me also.
What's so annoying is that a man is not only expected to provide comfort for their daughter, but but provide for her whole family also. All in the name of love.

I wouldn't advise u blank them totally. Tomorrow is pregnant

If they are going to give you stress and heart attack, you blank them out completely. You only live once.

pompeiimagnus:
Never underestimate your opposition - that is how elections are won or lost. Hilary Clinton and the Dems realized this in 2015. We may not like the guy, but he knows he is a political force at the moment.

Hillary lost the elections because of poor strategic planning. She did little to court the support of Bennie Sanders and his supporters who felt betrayed in the primaries and she took the "blue wall states" of Michigan, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania for granted. Instead of campaigning in these states, she was campaigning in red states she had little or no chance of winning.

Even at that she received 48.2% of total votes, while Trump received 41.6%, which was still in the projected poll figures.

basilico:
See how pompous and elitist you are. You think you are brighter than 74m who voted for him
Smugness derived from consuming MSM garbage and propaganda.

And the 74m was enough to make him president?

Oju4190:
Bro... let me give u a formula for free......Practise 70,10,10,10.....What this mean is that Out of Ur income either monthly or weekly....70% shod go for ur necessity like feeding paying bills and others.10% FOR GIVING(STICK TO IT).10% is for savings and the other 10% is to invest.
Okay, let me talk on the aspect of GIVING which is our concern . To give is good but u cannot kill urself. If u have exacted d 10% for that month/week then any other request that come for u to help or give (not emergency) has to b shifted forward when u have another 10%. Tell them u will give but u don't have now.
As for Ur father in-law. U can get him something that can b generating fund for him like keke or okada just something.Someone can b driving it for him... What they call balance and take..U can just b giving him money once a while... mind u from that 10% giving. U didn't mention Ur own parents . Don't quarrel with anybody it doesn't worth it.

Why is he obliged to get him keke or Okada? Why did they not make that part of the bride requirements before accepting to give away their daughter. It smacks of dishonesty to start making making demands after collecting the bride price and other items.

If he is required to buy keke for the wife's father, what of his own father and mother, what should he buy for them? Maybe he should buy Guy wagon for his own father as he owes much more to his father than his wife's father.

badmusatari:
I was convinced by a topic on this thread https://www.nairaland.com/6433385/how-saved-brother-marrying-into/1

I went to Nigeria to bring my wife some years agom ever since we arrived it has always been money, money, materials, materials especially money. At some point my wife accused me of trying to separate her from her siblings. I told her that a time is coming she will be begging me to help her stop them. It has happened and is now happening. As a matter of fact I even brought her dad for a visit from Nigeria. Her dad was a God fearing person but the moment he started living with his oldest shameless and jobless son he has been brainwashed that her daughter and her husband owe them especially me. It's always about money, money, money. The oldest son is a jobless and shameless irresponsible man that impregnated a woman and they now have four kids. I have even got a job for him from here but he refused to go and work there in Nigeria.

Not minding the fact that he even have other siblings in abroad. One of those in abroad is always in support of this stupid irresponsible oldest guy but the other one is a very intelligent person and knows the whole truth.

If you send money to the dad now trust me he will request another in less than a week which obviously the irresponsible was the one telling the dad what to say. There was no time my wife or me or we call the dad that the irresponsible will not pretend he's not there but will put the phone on speaker so he can listen to our concert with the dad. All he's doing is yahoo and Yahoo. The second born there with him is a little bit fair but they all the same.

They always have this strong believe that their sister who is my wife owe them because they always says they took care of her. This is one of the reasons their sister who is my wife and the other siblings in abroad are yet to build a house for their dad. The oldest irresponsible always cause trouble, tell lies and create issues that the dad will be telling his children abroad that he's gonna curse them if they don't build house for him or send certain mount on so so so date. I am really tired and confused. Enough is enough because I also have my own family to look after. Even a bike I never buy sef.

I am beginning to regret getting married in the first place. I love my wife and we have been together for over a decade and half even before we get married. But my wife is now their enemy because she always turn them down now. Infarct of I mention the irresponsible man's name or talk about se don't a penny to them she will go mad for days. Everythinf about them is money, money, money, build house for our dad, etc. The guy is now a yahoo + man over 40 yrs with no future and still unambitious.

My wife and I have wasted a lot of money on his travelling but he doesn't even care. Imagine all the siblings in abroad have been sending money for their dad's house rent only for the landlord to tell us that this guy's has never paid a kobo for almost two years. All he's about is to drink fvck and club.. very dirty hungry looking guy. They never appreciate anything indo for them, instead it's always more more and more. There was a time this guy tried to fight me but I just ignored him.and since then I never talk to him again till now. But they are bullying my wife emotionally that she cries almost everyday now uptill this morning when I asked her what happened and she told me that her brother the irresponsible man sent a nasty message to her.

But the other ones in another will always tell her that she and them need to take care of their dad and must send him money regardless of who highjack it as long as God knows they did the right thing, please how does this make sense? I need opinion on this in particular. How could you be sending money to the dad when you know that the idiot is the one that will collect and spend the money because he's with the dad's ATM card? Does that make sense?

I only pity one of the two siblings in another country that always support him and that one's wife have started complaining to my wife too because they gist a lot.

Sad

Sorry for your predicament but you caused your own problems. Your wife's family problems is not your own responsibility, you can assist if you choose to, but they are not your responsibility. Did you not pay the complete bride of price? Did you not complete all the marriage demands? So what do you owe her family again?

The problem is that it's you that spoilt them. You started out by being an ATM and they expect you to forever be an ATM. How come it's your responsibility to build house for her dad? Have you build a house for your own dad and mum, who toiled to make sure you went to school and became a success in life? What contributions has your wife's family contributed to your life?

My wife's dad tried this shit with me, I played ball to for a couple of years, but when the stress became too much, I stopped and blocked his number and in fact all her family's number except her junior sister who is very reasonable. I told my wife that if she wants this marriage to succeed we must build our finances and lives together, because at the time 100% of the family expenses fell on my head. I could not take her own family responsibility as well. We did not see her father for 8 years. He only came to see his grand children about 2 months ago, and I apologized for all, but explained that I needed to build my family. We speak occasionally and he still ask for money, but this time with begging.
A man must learn up to stand up for himself and his family.

pompeiimagnus:
Baba, I am really looking forward to Trump's speech tomorrow. He has been very quiet since leaving office, ironically, his social media ban has actually bolstered his brand and popularity among his magans.The GOP is now his party, and every elected Republican has realized this. While I don't like his style, the reality is that his supporters and followers are massive.

Yes his supporters are massive, but not massive enough to win national elections. It's only massive enough to win elections in rural towns and villages populated with illiterate or semi illiterate white men.

ChocolateWine:
No dey read where you like, leave where you no like, at least there was a time when there was a believe in a flat Earth until a later time.


Read this too referenced in that article https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flat_Earth

Did you ask where is the Lord sitting or you just wan argue?

Is that not the exclusive preserve of you christians? You pick a few verses in isolation to support your belief or dogma, and then ignore all other verses that is contrary to your beliefs from the same bible, sometimes from the same chapter.

This was what you claimed;

Scientist have always claimed the earth was flat. When did the discover that it wasn't, is it not in the 17th century, when the Bible has said so thousands of years back.

I called you out to name the scientists. You then post a Wikipedia article that was actually contrary to your claims.
Now you change mouth with "at least there was a time when there was a believe in a flat Earth until a later time." So what? Millions of people still believe the earth is flat. Your claim was about scientists.

You guys are so dishonest, it's hypocritical to claim to worship a holy and just god.

ChocolateWine:
Calm down, no be by making noise

Flat Earth - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myth_of_the_flat_Earth

You really need to go back to primary school to learn how to read.

I am still wondering whether you cannot read or you cannot comprehend what you read.

This is what your Wikipedia link says;

The myth of the flat Earth, or the flat earth error, is a modern historical misconception that European scholars and educated people during the Middle Ages believed the Earth to be flat rather than spherical.

The earliest clear documentation of the idea of a spherical Earth comes from the ancient Greeks (5th century BC). The belief was widespread in the Greek world when Eratosthenes calculated the circumference of Earth around 240 BC. This knowledge spread with Greek influence such that during the Early Middle Ages (~600–1000 AD), most European and Middle Eastern scholars espoused Earth's sphericity.[3] Belief in a flat Earth among educated Europeans was almost nonexistent from the Late Middle Ages onward, though fanciful depictions appear in art, such as the exterior panels of Hieronymus Bosch's famous triptych The Garden of Earthly Delights, in which a disc-shaped Earth is shown floating inside a transparent sphere.[4]

According to Stephen Jay Gould, "there never was a period of 'flat Earth darkness' among scholars, r regardless of how the public at large may have conceptualized our planet both then and now.

Historian Jeffrey Burton Russell says the flat-Earth error flourished most between 1870 and 1920, and had to do with the ideological setting created by struggles over biological evolution. Russell claims "with extraordinary few exceptions no educated person in the history of Western Civilization from the third century B.C. onward believed that the Earth was flat",

So where in this articled proved that scientist believed in a flat Earth until recently as claimed by you?

The Bible - Isa 40:22

It is he that sitteth upon the circle of the earth, and the inhabitants thereof are as grasshoppers; that stretcheth out the heavens as a curtain, and spreadeth them out as a tent to dwell in:

And this his bible proof that the world is spherical? Ok where is the circle of the earth that we can find the Lord sitting?

And what about the inhabitants that are as grasshoppers that stretcheth out the heavens as a curtain?

Emmadoc:
Op I think you should try and study the Bible without sentiment, study it with an open mind and you will see the lies they made us believe....

The tower of Babel was destroyed by God, and he confused humans with different languages because they wanted to build a tower that will reach up to the sky, that way they would be able to see him "God".

But God didn't want this to happen, hence which led to the destruction of the tower.

But today we have a 3,000 foot tall building standing in Dubai (Burj khalifa).

Today, we have rockets going to space.

Today we have jets, aeroplanes and more flying thousands of feet's above the ground but God didn't destroy them.

Tell me what happened bro, I need good explanations cos a brother is about to become an atheist.

Is God now afraid of humans?

Why didn't he destroy the Burj khalifa, the jets, the airplanes? Huh?

Don't mind 21st century supposedly thinking man thinking like bronze age people. Man or should I say men traveled to the moon, just last week man landed a vehicle on Mars. Here we have people believing that a structure that barely was probably not higher than the pyramids and certainly not higher than mount everest got God to panic and out of fear destroyed it and scattered their language.

ChocolateWine:
[s][/s]

Stop the attack. Speak with facts. If you don't have one don't act like babies or girls or weak men.


They area you highlighted in my comment are facts or not? Speak your defense and stop claiming intelligent without valid points cause you've said basically nothing

Which fact? Which scientist said the world was flat? Name them.
Where did the bible present proof that the world was round or spherical?

The bible never presented itself as a book of science. That's a jacket people ignorant about science tries to fit it.

ChocolateWine:
You dey shine eyes and mouth like say you know anything.


Who's praying with you?


Does bomb created by man equate one man?

Man is the constant innovation and competition to build the most dangerous weapons and for who? To save the world, I guess, in their myopic understanding.


Scientist have always claimed the earth was flat. When did the discover that it wasn't, is it not in the 17th century, when the Bible has said so thousands of years back.

The owner of the universe has proclaimed that the earth would last forever. Why are scientist pursuing vain things?


No one is praying anything. I can't even pray more than 3mins. The Bible gives wisdom, that's all I'm saying, read it.

I really feel sorry for people like you. You exude so much ignorance and helplessness that your only sense of self worth is some belief. You are incapable of thinking for your self, you are incapable of solving problems in your own life. You belief system makes you believe the solution to your life's problems lies with others or some external factors. This is why you are so exploited psychologically and materially.

Please improve yourself, get better educated, get better skills, expend your mental energy on productive things that will improve yourself and those around you.

You are too darn ignorant.

ChocolateWine:
The most educated man built the bomb that destroys humans life.

Being educated without godliness ends in stupidity.

We're humans before things. Because we care more about things humans lives have lost value.


Most of the problems scientist are trying to solve were created by them too.

Name it ozone depletion, viruses from multiple mates, chasm between the rich and the poor, money as a means of transaction ....

Nothing can wipe out the world not even asteroids....you cant use 100 or a 1000 years of knowledge to cotrol something that took millions of years to create....it's only being arrogant

There is so much ignorance here that I don't know how to respond. You probably never open a science textbook in your life.
Bombs have been built since the discovery of gun powder.
Nuclear power was used to make nuclear bomb not by the effort of one man but by thousands of the world's best scientists through the Manhattan project.

Asteroid Apophis also called doomsday asteroid has a possibility of hitting the earth around 2068. If it does, it will wipe out most life on Earth, including humans. The west and other serious nations are already planing counter measures to avoid the collision. Meanwhile you guys are so ignorant and oblivious praying and speaking in tongues.

ChocolateWine:
Some countries have legalised rape, weed, incest & bestiality, that must be intelligent too?

And these are the issues that affect your existence the most, so you spend all your mental energy on them. Some people are more concerned with looking for vaccines to save mankind from viruses, others are looking for solutions to deflect asteroids from wiping out the world, others steal are looking for solution to climate change. You on the other hand is more obsessed with other people's sex lives. Talk about misplaced priority.

brandsoncharlie:
Politicians are sabotaging states money you people should hold them accountable and stop the noise.
Since independence still now no electricity in Nigeria yet you people are keeping quiet.

How is this related to the subject under discussion?

Shouldn't the number of pentecostals speaking in tongues in hundreds of thousands of churches in nigeria everyday be enough to stop politicians sabotaging our country and provide electricity and all the good things of life?

How come we are the most religious country in the world and at the same time the poorest?

luckyjojo:
You cannot understand the things of the spirit by the flesh. How will you know the benefits of speaking in tongues when you don't speak.
Jesus often speak in parables, and the pharisees never understood him.
Speaking in tongues may not print money but it can open closed doors of opportunities that will yield money.

So it's speaking in tongues that will open doors to opportunities and not skills, education and hard work? We will remain the poverty capital of the world for a very long time.

Now tell me, how many people speak in tongues in Japan, Germany or Korea to make them some of the richest countries of the world?

Jafaar:
you people like to criticize what you understand,by his speaking of tounges God blesses him with spiritual gifts which he uses to solve people's problem and the people may thank him with material things .He does not touch any tithe or offering of church members.
An ex general once gave him 1 million dollars for solving his problem,think off the others we don't know

Where did the ex general get $1million which is about N400 million to dash apostle suleman? How much is the salary of a general? Even if the soldier entered service as a general, his total salary cannot be up to N400million in his 35 years of service.
Pentecostals promoting stealing since the death of Christ.

xaggar:
N144,000 is the cost of the solar panel not deep cycle batteries.

You hurry to type what u don't even understand.

Me I no know English o. You that understand engliah abeg helep me translate this sentence for pidgin;

To own a solar unit, there will be the option of paying N4,000 monthly for three years. That translates to N144, 000 a unit.

Simplyleo:
So what's the power output of a unit of the solar panel?

A solar panel just convert the solar energy, you need other associated accessories which might even be more expensive.

Besides, solar panels that can comfortably power an average home with 2 AC, Fridge, and few low power consuming equipment can't be less than 500k.

Yes, I said it.

500k ke? Your battery alone would cost more than 500k. Even if the ACs are 1hp, 2 ACs would be about 1600 watts, add 150watts for frigde and we are talking about 1750 watts, and we have not even considered other loads, lights,TVs,etc. We should be looking at a load of 2500watts. And since we are talking about ACs and freezers, you will need a pure sine wave inverter. Now the minimum inverter you can use is 5kva inverter. A good 5 kva pure sinewave inverter can cost between 300,000 to 500,000k

Now your battery depends on your run time. For a run time of 6 hrs, you need nothing less than a 6000AH set up for 50% DOD. That's 30 200ah battery. At about N180,000 for a good 200ah battery, you can do the maths.
We have not even considered the number of solar panels that can charge 30 200ah batteries.

psucc:
You are just arguing blindly.

The 'solar unit' has not been expounded. Do you know the capacity of the unit?

Do you know the quality (trust Nigerian project execution with quality)?

Wait until you see the manure that will be supplied.

You are highly ignorant of the subject matter and you are just talking just for the sake of supporting government.

I have installed complete solar systems and any one who has even a minute knowledge of solar system knows a N144,000 system cannot supply more than a 1kwh on a good sunny day, that's assuming you use a modified sine wave inverter and a cheap 100ah battery. This type of inverter would burn your freezer compressor and ac fans in 6 months.

A government that is serious about promoting solar energy would REMOVE DUTY AND TARIFFS on solar products and discourage the importation of substandard Chinese products, as they are a waste of money.

This sounds like an avenue to make money at the expense of energy starving Nigerians.

gaddafe:
But have you used it before? Do you know that, that panel has an expiry date usually 2-5 years depending on the type of panel you bought. Now this is apart from battery replacement and others. By the time you calculate what you have spent for two or three years and compare it with when you use fuel generator, the difference will be clear

False. Original solar panels has an optimal service life of 25 years ( depending on how it is installed). The weakest link of solar installation is the battery. Trojan Deep cycle lead acid batteries can last up to 10 years if not cycled beyond 50% regularly, but it can cost up to N250,000 each for 200ah. Good Indian batteries can cost between N150,000 to N180,000. While chinko batteries is about N120,000. Chino batteries would last an average of 6 month to 18 months depending on cycling percentage.
US inverters like Xantrex can cost up to N500,000 for pure sine wave inverters but they can last up to 10 years without problem. Chinco inverters can catch fire if you overload it.

Xpol:
The police boss in charge those guys go just use him cash out I've seen people involved in worse case that was freed. Only if he can pay the amount they will later mention, make he kuku sell the mora4ka car wey wan send am to jail take free himself

Sell which mora4ka car? The car that belonged to Lagos States Government the second he was caught driving one way. Wonder why he was so desperate to escape?

The guy is FVCKED for life.

Tetehjewels:
As long as the man says by himself that

A. He is an experienced driver of X number of years

B. According to driving codes one must utilize his rearview mirror prior to reversing a vehicle

Then he has proven by himself and by his own submiss ion that he used them on that day and thus clearly saw the officer before he reverse d.

The law is nobody's friend. It simply balances eve ryt hing

All these are assumptions and not proofs. The law does not accept assumptions, it accepts concrete and verifiable proof. Criminal law even goes further by bemanding proof beyond reasonable doubt. The smallest doubt can kill the whole case no matter the mountain of evidence. Look at the O.J. Simpson case where the whole case was thrown put simply because the glove found at the murder scene did not fit O.J. Simpson.

It seems you stubbornly have your beliefs and no fact can convince you.

Have a nice day.

Tetehjewels:
Here is premeditation.

Lawyer to Police: Sir does your car have its side and rearview mirrors intact?

Accused: Yes it does

Lawyer to Judge: My Lord here are pictures of the car clearly showing that the side and rearview mirror a of the vehicle are intact

Lawyer to accused: How long have you been driving

Accused: X number of years

Lawyer: what are you supposed to do before you reverse a vehicle as an experienced driver?

Accused: Use my rearview mirror

Lawyer to Accused: I put it to you that on said day you made use of your rearview mirrors and clearly saw the officer behind you and then deliberately reversed into him because you thought he might use his weapon on you or your car tire

If he says that is false, he is FVCKED. If he says that is true, he is still FVCKED .

All these questions still does not prove premeditation. The police lawyer has to prove that the driver actually looked in his rear and side mirrors and then decided to kill a particular police man due to motif the police lawyer will prove and then decided to turn the car into a deadly weapon and run over the police man.

If you can't prove just one of the above, the murder charge is thrown out,

Tetehjewels:
Intent to kill or not, fact remains he wielded his vehicle as a deadly weapon. I am sure you saw the word DEADLY before weapon.

That right there is the intent to kill or maim but of course a 2 ton SUV would definitely kill a human so scratch maim off the list.

It was attempted murder be it premeditated or involuntary.

Video evidence would easily make the charge to stick.

If the Officer had not been knocked off the bridge he would have been crushed by the car against the guard wall. Either way it would have been fatal.

Dude is in big trouble and every lawyer knows it

It seems you don't understand what murder is legally.
The man obviously did not leave home with the intention to kill a certain police office. His intent was to evade arrest, albeit dangerously. If the police officer had died, that would be manslaughter and not murder,

Tetehjewels:
I am always amazed at the way some nairalanders reason and these are supposed to be educated people

People are only questioning the attempted murder charge and not the other ones. To prove attempted murder, you will first have to prove premeditation and then intent. Killing without premeditation and motif is at best manslaughter, but then can you charge someone with attempted manslaughter?

Hollatee87:
But it wasn't premeditated na

That's how ignorant the Nigerian police is. How can you prove murder without premeditation and intent. They just threw that one in there to probably deny the man of bail.

XXXXTENTACION:
While herdsmen, bandits and bokoharam are the one to promote igbo people.

These funding Boko Haram and Fulani Herdsmen are friends of igbo.

aremuforlife:
This is government program, they have their ways of getting the materials cheaper.

Are you talking about subsidy? Because the cost of single items like battery and even inverter (pure sine wave inverter) can be more that N144 000. Except you don't intend to run inductive loads like compressors and ac fans.

To own a solar unit, there will be the option of paying N4,000 monthly for three years. That translates to N144, 000 a unit.

144,000 per unit ke? Ordinary a good 200ah deep cycle cost more than N144,000, before we even start talking about the inverters, charge controller, solar panels and accessories, and then cost of installation

Maybe the solar set up is just for charging phone and running a few lights.

BRATISLAVA:
Ah, you've reached it already? The point where you have nothi ng a to say except insults? Right from your first quote it has been abuses and no sense.

You're just another abusive, angry broke nikkur who can only afford sanitary pads for his girlfriend. You're not even a man.

God help me. You're on your own.

I don't understand, why should a guy be the one buying sanitary pad for his girlfriend? Is she a charity case?

Lovejossy:
As a good man, you first of all meet your in-law to discuss the issue, then involve your family (Not your brother) to discuss with your inlaw if you really love the girl, then if all these failed, then you have all rights to call off the wedding.

What as a a good woman? Shouldn't the woman curtail her parents greed and excesses?

What's there to discuss? After dolling out over N300k for pre-wedding expenses and they are still demanding a big society wedding, without offering to contribute 1 kobo, and in these covid times.The girl in question must be the most beautiful girl in the universe. Very shameless family. Even Elon Musk or Mark Zuckerberg did not spend a fortune to marry a wife.

Kelvin3476:
The documents of the properties must be i de girls name . HE MIGHT GO TO JAIL FOR THAT IF AT ALL THE DOCUMENTS WAS WRITEN IN HER

But he he can prove that he bought the blocks, cement, roofing sheets and everything used in the construction of the house, he has a case of wanting his items back.