₦airaland Forum

scott04:
i will ignore the insult for the last time you unable to argue intelligently without insult speak of how you were brought up.

so why cant i use india one of the poverty capital of the world and also home of all manner of sexual abuse and rape as an example you said indian are well know for being decipline lol u are living in delusion bro. u said i should try fitting 1 billion people in usa?? thats the dumbest analysis i av ever seen. going by ur statistic let see what can apun when usa got 1billion citizen. usa is the number 1 economic giant in the world followed by china. china got 1.4billion citizen and are managing it just well so you see usa having 1billion citizen aint doing shit 2 dem. that simple logical reasoning. the india you said is filled with engineer is still the second poverty capital of the world so i wonder why they kept swimming in poverty if they are decipline as you claim.


i wonder why nigeria also have high rate of child abuse,fraudster,corruption,scammer,drug abuse,prostitution,ignorance,child marriage,bokoharam,heardsmen,pastorprenuer and top grade poverty and bad leadership when we have the most perfect style of parenting.


i wonder when you will counter my claims instead of running here and there....

i have countered your claims over and over again and each time you come up with even more BS. I repeat , you're full of shit and no amount of hogwash typed by you will ever change that! I only used India as an example to show you not all of them are poverty stricken, not all of them are uneducated or ill mannered. Moving on, you want to lecture me on world history, child please! I did my third masters while traveling between 17 countries and auditing over 78 businesses, I own a stake in 14 diferent businesses and 6 of them are in China, my sources are the Chinese people themselves. Go and read up on the history of China, China in the 60s, 70s, 80s and even 90s was a shithole! They had to make a drastic decision by imposing a one child system on the populace before things got better. China does not run a democracy hence they can impose any laws for the greater good, the USA and India are democratic systems hence the comparison. The US is the number one economy in the world but that's because you see things from the superficial level and lack indepth analysis. The United States has a 26 Trillion dollar debt problem and this is with a population of less than 400 million, you think a 150% increase in the population won't break the country? Why do you think Trump is against illegal immigrants and immigration as a whole? You're a joker, I can smell your BS from miles away, stick to those who don't know their left from right okay!

Presumptous, judgmental, bitchy and downright cold attitude has never changed any man for the better. It's all about what you want, you claim to have big big dreams, life changing dreams but not once did you mention assisting him monetarily, I mean you claim you and your people frown upon people working for small companies hence I can deduce that you are loaded financially, you still collect 1k, 2k from him, HABA . Not once did you mention actually giving him a way to finance his masters abroad or start a business here in 9ja. You claim you are not proud of him then why would you stay with such a person? This ain't about your family, this is about YOU! Stop projecting your wishes on him, he's not your DOG! You claim you want the best for him, what if what's best for him is unacceptable to you? You don't need starnagers to tell you what to do, stay or leave it's your own cup of tea!

scott04:
please what statistic do u need than the glaring evidence i kept pointing at all around you. poverty and bad parenting are both inseperatable twin one of them being present in a society signify the presence of the other. india and all other countries you mention practise the same form of parenting with africa and see where they are 2day. they also encourage child abuse being practise by most african countries 2day nd see what poverty is doin 2 dem. do u even know what bad parenting is at all now look at theseh an okada rider going ahead to av more than six child isnt that bad parenting in all ramification? these is encourage all around us so tell how it got ntin 2 do with poverty fucking us. come down 2 lagos and see for urself how teenager smoke weed and other hard drug shamelessly, how more than half of them see ntin wrong in being a fraudster. people lyk emoney,mompha,hushpupi,ramon jago are now our youth role model and you still think ntin is wrong with our form of parenting? hardly will you go to any community in 9ja 2day without seeing premature pregnancy littering everywhere. ask any1 u knw working as chemist the rate at which abortion drug is sort after by our youth. look the level of homosexuality in our surrounding even though we are trying 2 hide it can u tell me all these got ntin 2 do with bad parenting?? visit the north and see for urself the high level of child marriage and molestation so all these is good parenting abi?? most of us support jungle justice is that a good reflection of a society that claim to be morally sound and decipline?? would our ancestor av being colonized and enslave if our parenting style truely encourage love morality and decipline? or u haven't heard how family members sold each other during the slave trade era the truth is that our parenting style as always being bad or even worse compare 2 the west although we choose to ignore the truth and live in false illusion. i could go on and on and about the wikipedia link i could easily flaw it but i got no tym now am enjoying my red dead redemption 2

Once again mixing apple with oranges. Imagine using India as your example, try fitting 1 Billion people in America and see how it turns out....LMAO, even at that the Indian people still rank high in the most disciplined in the world, half their population is filled with programmers, engineers and so on. Like I said before if your statement was factual then countries like the USA or England won't have high rate of drug abuse, they wouldn't have a high rate of gun violence or suicide rate either. I mean if poverty automatically equates to bad parenting, shouldn't a wealthy society equate good parenting? If that's the case what's your explanation for the USA? THERE'S NONE, so I REPEAT YOU'RE JUST FULL OF SHIT!

dasparrow:
She is Eighteen as in Eight-teen. Teen stands for teenager. When Nigeria as a country stops forcing TEENAGERS into marriage against their will, this kind of tragic news will end.

Nigeria is a country with a very unhealthy obsession with marriage to the point where people are treated with disdain by society for not having a spouse. This is the result and there will be more cases like this to come in the not so distant future.

Marriage supposed to be an individual choice but not so in Nigeria. You hear Nigerians saying "You must marry oooo!". Well, I guess some married teenage girls are now saying " You must die ooo!"

16 is the legal age for consent in most countries and 18 is a full blown adult, let's not confuse emotions with facts. If people can signup for the military, vote and so on at 18 years why can't they get married?

scott04:
bad parenting and poverty are inseperatable sibling. wherever there is bad parenting there must be poverty. there is not much difference between the african and those countries u mentioned parenting style and u can clearly see our situation compare to the western world

YOU'RE SPEWING TRASH! My grandfather had 8 kids, he was policeman and his wife sold food at the canteen. They raised their children with the little they had and believed if a child is fed well such a child can concentrate on other things. They were taught value of family and compassion, this led all 8 children to the ability to overcome stuggles both in the childhood and adult lives. My second girlfriend in life was a spoiled rich kid who spent her dad's money on boys, parties and luxury. She had it all but hard drugs took control of her, I tried to redeem her but what's an average boy from Mushin to do? She eventually fell to her addiction. I have cousins that were pampered from the start and ended up being lazy as hell, up till now in their 30s they can't keep a job, even when mommy's money ran out they still could not see the implications of their actions.

I grew up in Mushin, went to the university in Ogun State and rose beyond all that to hold 5 different degrees and a shitload of certifications and awards, by your classification I was raised by bad parents because boy o boy, we had days where we couldn't even afford garri but you're dead wrong! POVERTY IS NOT SYNONYMOUS WITH BAD PARENTING, just like giving all the money in the world to your children does not make you a GOOD PARENT!

cooltola:
no be so bro, sometimes it could be the man is a drunkard who spend his money on booze and other women. the woman may be the one who is the breadwinner in some cases. Some women will endure such marriage until the man dies or they finally snap

Then my statement still holds true, she's not using her get out of jail card, unles the D is really explosive or her self esteem has hit rock bottom, no woman likes to be a punching bag and still be the breadwinner, na marry she marry she no kill person abeg!

cooltola:
not really , some women have no where to go so they stay put and endure till they endure no more. Some are too embarrassed to tell a family member and will keep the beating to themselves. Some are hoping their husbands stop , some do not want a divorce

Then such a woman has only herself to blame! We need to remove this mentality from our 9ja women that marrying a man means marrying a provider. Most women have no financial plan, no get out of jail card, nothing, it's either marriage works or they die there....SHAME!

bukatyne:
Women make up about 50% of the society.

It is impossible to stigmatize 50% of the society if they vehemently refuse something.

Vehemenetly refuse what exactly? Ever noticed that the chances of an independent woman with lovely qualities being physically or verbally abused reduces drastically when compared with a woman that is not? This is true in any society and more true in 9ja. How can you put all the bills on one man's head and still expect him to maintain his sanity for decades?

This is why I'm a strong advocate of women contributing minimum 30% to the household bills, GET A DAMN JOB and STOP USING RAISING KIDS AS AN EXCUSE, worse comes to worst start an online business. When we remove monetary issues from the equation, 70% of all maritial problems are gone....I dare anyone to prove to me otherwise!

scott04:
what you are saying is that for more than 80% of our politician to be corrupted got ntin to do with our parenting style, that most of our youth have no honour nor selfwort or dignity that most of them think ntin is wrong in being a scammer or fraudster, that weed and other hard drugs is now seen as smtin normal that every one of them is a potential scammer and liar got ntin 2 do with our parents. almost all public and private offices are all corrupted and you got 2 bribe your ways or get high connection before you can do anything significant and that also got ntin 2 do with our ways of child upbringing. look at our slay queens and girls most of them use their pussy as anoder form of hustle. harrasment by uniform personel is another thing entirely and you are here saying its not criminality. you are talking about gangsta when we all knew that most of them are blacks. we are all a product of our society and the society itself is the product of parenting style now look at our society and look at the western's which 1 u go choose? child abuse is rampant every where hardly will you visit a street here in 9ja without seeing small children hawking here and there with no consideration on the physical and psychological effect on the child. parent take out their fustration due to simple mistake by children or even them becoz they are easy target and defensless claiming its correction and upon all the beatings our society never change for good but keep on getting worse. no parenting style is perfect but saying african style is better than the western is wrong. i would rather have my son chalenge me when am wrong than having him keep silent becoz of fear thereby making him docile and unable to identify or defend his right.

Stop mixing apples with oranges! You want to equate bad parenting with poverty? I keep telling you to produce statistics to back up your claim but you reuse instead you chose to continue the same emotional rhetoric that defies intellectual reasoning. For example, why compare 9ja with abroad? Why not compare 9ja with a place like Columbia, India, Pakistan, Venezuela etc? You seriously believe if 9ja had good leaders like a place such as USA or the UK that children would hawk in the streets? You think if Police and Military were paid well, they would need to collect bribes? Do you believe if we had more jobs than graduates that our youths would risk it all in yahoo or hard drugs? You mentioned politicians being corrupt and you attribute it to parenting style and not human nature? YOU'RE A JOKER! Let me give you a brief history lesson, look at the USA, at the age of 243 years, they've come a long way but guess what they still have corrupt politicians from kickbacks to using their office for personal gains. Let's go back to when the USA was youn glike 9ja, in the 1830s, the USA still had people in slavery, women couldn't vote, governors and other politicians committing fraud and so on. Back then according to you, their parents were bad parents . If you don't believe me check out this link :

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_United_States_federal_officials_convicted_of_corruption_offenses

I've seen people like you before, the other side is always perfect until you actually do some research and see that not all that glitters is gold, you would rather your son challenge you when you're wrong, even if challenging you means pushing you, punching you, calling the cops on you etc, YOU'RE FULL OF SHIT MY FRIEND!

Hathor5:
Social worker cases are not representative of the entire population. It is akin to a foreigner who has only been to Banana Island saying that all Nigerians enjoy the same standard of living. I don't know how anyone can accidentally call 911 but I agree, slapping someone's face is abuse of power. I don't need to search anything on Google to confirm your bias. Maybe you should use google to search for healthy families instead of using your own family to speak for 350 million Americans.

I think you lack comprehension skills, go back and read my initial post. Social worker cases are in every state, anything that deals with children and abuse or neglect goes through them so I don't know WTF you're talking about and while I don't know the exact figures of children calling cops on their parents in the USA, I do know that it happens hence your theory that you don't know any children that called cops on their parents is only true for you. I gave you the queries to search for on Google so that you know these cases exist, nowhere did I say it happens in all American household, once again comprehend instead of trying to score cheap comeback points!

For your own sanity, send her packing, you might love her to death but if you don't start being proactive she'll be the death of you. You can try the usual B.S. of counseling, being mr.nice, prayer etc but until she sees that you have nothing to lose, she's going to continue to hold you ransom. I'm surprised she hasn't started twisting your clothes and preventing you from going out, brother better believe she has already shared your story with her friends and family members, send her packing and watch the reaction, if her family calls for a discussion then there's still hope, if they ignore you then at least you know where her nagging and sudden need for extravagance was coming from. for a woman you feed and shelther to have the guts to question your income or hardwork is simply unacceptable, many men are content to have their women struggle while they enjoy drinks and girlfriends but you my friend, you work hard, you take care of your family yet she demands more? THUNDER FIRE HER WEAVE ON....

scott04:
look around you our politicians,yahoo,million boys, police turned beggars,sars,army,marlians and cultist everywhere are all enough evidence to show that everything is wrong with our style of parenting. the baba of all is poverty mentality and low self esteem installed in us by our parents. they also dont encourage creativity.........

Being a politician is not a crime inherently, just like a greedy CEO, there's nothing a parent can do to stop son or daughter from being overly ambitious/greedy. Police turn beggars, SARS, Army, when dows these things automatically equate criminality? Your only point is yahoo and cultists, yet these group accounts for less than 20% of all youths in 9ja(You want to compare the amount of cultists in 9ja with the amount of gangstas in the USA? I think that's where you'll see that 9ja is still child's play compared to what goes on abroad....So sir I repeat get some real facts before pulling stats!

Hathor5:
Do you know anyone who called the cops on their parents? I don't. Nigerians repeat this story over and over again like it is a normal occurrence abroad but when you ask them if they know anyone, they don't. I was having the same discussion with someone a few weeks ago and asked this question and he said that a Nigerian dad married to a white lady had problems because he kicked his two-year-old so I asked if the 2-year-old-son was the one to call the cops. And why would anyone kick a toddler in the first place?

I saw the responses you were given and how you asked for statistics so maybe you should lead by example and give us the statistics of children abroad calling the cops.

Apart from having tons of family members here in the USA, I also worked for a company that deals with lots of social worker cases. My very own cousin called the cops on his mom when he was 11 because she gave him the typical 9ja mama slaps and my sister acidently dialled 911 and the cops showed up thinking she was being abused(It also wasn't helpdful that when they showed up my dad had her kneeling down with her hands raised as punishment ). I had a friend who called cops on his stepdad because the man was verbally abusive to his mom. More and more examples but the greatest ones are available right her on the internet, simply search these words on Google "child calls cops on parent".

iammolise:
If I caught my wife red handed like this I will just keep quiet, give the man a handshake and go home and wait for her... Only that alone she will not be coming back to beg for mercy, she will come to beg for her belongings... I will take thrill in the suspense of them choking over what my plan for both of them is

Pray you don't live abroad, you'll be the one to pack out and still pay her spousal and child support

smiliyB:
I can agree to that part but then they should learn to stop pestering their kids too...like when are you getting married, I have you seen the man/woman, and be praying day and night for that spouse to land overnight. They should allow it to occur naturally, since they decided to follow that principle. My friend's mom was telling her to keep searching for job but not to forget the husband part. Lol, my mom is not different too even though her own isn't much tho. My cousin bro, Hahahaha his own dey another level. All these things can make someone make mistake in choosing a spouse to spend his/her life with.

I still see it as love, the most annoying people in your live are usually the ones who loves you the most. Living overseas, I've seen kids move out at 18 and their parents check up on them maybe once or twice a year, this leaves room for rogue behaviors. I guess in everything we should avoid overdoing it....A mother asking when will her daughter get married is asking so out of love and fear. As a caring mother she must act accordingly but as a fearful mother she knows time is very short and she wants to hold her grandkids....Surely this kind of a pest is forgivable?

scott04:
hahahahaha are you sure you are living in africa?? more than 50% of nigerian youth now use hard drug. upon all the beating we still have one of the highest criminality rate in the world. i could go on....

Come on let's not pull statistics out of our ass! Do you have real evidence to support your statement?

omonnakoda:
How old are you?

Mid 30s

omonnakoda:
There is nothing like African parenting

There 100s of different ways people parent even In Nigeria before we expand to Africa

Some force religion on you,others don't. Some are Christians, Muslim's etc

Some have houseboys and drivers

Others hawk goods after school


Some are polygamous others are not.

Etc

There is o, for example, you ever heard your child call uncles/aunties by name? Ever heard your child shout back at you and say 'I HATE YOU'? Ever seen a child that you fully take care of, schooling, feeding and so on, yet same child calls the cops on you because you gave him or her a konk on the head for bad behavior?

African parenting is that old school parenting that has kept Africans in check for generations now(Lowest tobacco use, lowest drug abuse, lowest violence against parents/family members), unfortunately it is dying with each passing day because these new school parents have been brainwashed to believe love is freedom and freedom is love.

smiliyB:
They stop their children from establishing relationship with the opposite sex when they are much younger but once they are 25years and above... they'll now be the one to forcing and praying for spouse to fall upon their child. This is for both gender

Don't mind that I'm laughing, this is not how it should be. Allow your child to be in a relationship or establish friendship with the opposite sex, simply advise her on what to do and what not to do. Infact let your child bring their friends home so you can know who your child relate with.

I see nothing bad in this, the freedom alloted in the West came at a costly price, teen pregancies, abortions, STDs, emotional trauma etc. No one can prevent these things completely but at least in 9ja it is curbed to a certain degree by parental, societal and religious influences. Let's talk about another factor, immaturity. Our 9ja boys are very immature, while our girls are amazingly naive, when you add the type of freedom you're talking about better believe chaos awaits. Take a look at our universities, most were sent to study but we all know what happens! Girls turn themselves into thots, boys believe anything is f*ckable! I think we should just leave things the way they are and lessen the restrictions once they reach the university becasue they're going to do what they want regardless

CaptainGAGA:
I understand that wearing a bikini is not a sin and we are in no place to judge. She's married to a pastor. First, you don't need to take a bikini Pic. Secondly, if you do you should not post on social media oh! People of the world. What's the aim of posting the Pic na? What will members see? That it's OK to post such. Please let's be guided.

1. She's a celebrity, a known Hollywood celebrity to be precise!

2. Our idea of religion in Nigeria drastically differs from what is practiced in the USA where she resides. E.g- Our Nigerian churches condemn excessive tattoos, smokers, men with multiple piercings and so on, over here it is part of the norm.

3. If you had her type of money, trust me your perception of faith would alter, these people are not thinking of praying on the mountain, 3 days vigil, fasting and so on, that's poor man's religious tendencies. Her Christian faith is one of laid back and chillax, who is to say which is right?

aishamansur:
Same can be said about men also, an eye for an eye makes the world blind

True, anyone can turn into a beast when the unimaginable happens, may God help us all!

Bahamas95:
I know, even me I find it difficult to control my anger when provoked. Am working on it sha.....The reason am blaming the man is that he was bragging about it on social media, that was so annoying. Must everything be put on social media? He was so stup!d to have done that!

Yea like I said if Devil makes someone his personal mission, na dis kind thing dey happen. Anyways make we dey watch the outcome, you might be surprised that the woman will end up saying she loves her husband and does not want court case....HUMANs....Lol.

Bahamas95:
Oga forget that thing jor, the man is an idi0t. Even if the woman sets fire on his brand new car he don't have the right to beat her up like this, he even went as far as bragging about it on social media. Who does that?



Just imagine say your brother in-law/son-in-law panel beat your sister/daughter like this you go give am standing ovation abi?

The man is wrong but never say never, I've seen and heard about some pretty messed up women over the years.

Ever seen a woman slap your mama and have the police arrest her?
Ever seen one burn your certificates?
Ever seen one put poison inside your food and you caught her?
Ever seen a woman have you raised another man's children for 20 years?
Ever seen a woman sleep with your gateman, driver and neighbors?
Ever seen a woman empty your bank account and sent hired killers after you?
Ever seen a woman come at you with a knife?
Ever seen a woman give you HIV that she got from her lover?

I could go on and on but even the wisest of men can turn beast when the devil lays a hand on his destiny!

Dreambeat:
Nigeria was never meant to be. It was created on faulty foundation and was only a matter of time before it crumbled. The result of which we are seeing today.Of course there is no solution in sight.

Wanna bet Nigeria will still exist for another 40 years? Don't underestimate the spirit of mutual survival. It would have been far easier to break up in the 80s or even 90s but you see the youths of nowadays, everyone is connected somehow, Hausa marrying Yorubas, Yorubas marrying Edo and so on, who will do the calculations? Who goes where?

This was definitely not written by a North American woman, this person definitely has some Nigerian background or deep knowledge of Yahoo Yahoo. No akata uses the term 'yahoo boy". Anyways moving on, there's no safe place for a scammer, once the money from maga dries up, he'll eventually turn you and your friends/family to his maga, best thing you can do is cut your losses. The evidence already shows he can't be trusted, go with your guts and run for your life!

Tsongz:
I am a registered nurse and I don't have any problem with the twerking video. My only concern is about we Africans and the way we think. What she's doing is morally acceptable overseas but not here in Africa and that's because of our sense of judgement and view about things. I'm quite sure that 90% of the people supporting the nurse here will come out to condemn and talk bad about Nurses when issues pertaining to ill morals surfaces in the future. The nursing profession in this part of the world is trying to keep it's image intact because they know the kind of notion people have about nurses. A post surfaced on facebook, the poster asked a question "Why do you like Nurses? " 80% of the reply were about Sex and seduction. People were like "dem sabi Bleep"

What she did is not morally acceptable abroad, not on active duty, the fact that some people do it and get away with it does not make it acceptable! A male dentist was sued to court for dancing while performing on a patient, a female nurse lost her job for dancing in a patient's room and recording it. Let's stop peddling false theories to suit our own agendas, in her private time she can do more than twerk but while on duty there is somthing called ethics and bylaws!

Realstick941:
Hey dude why would you say i am lying,aso me for a proof then i will tell you. You need to read his biography THIS BITCH OF A LIFE by carlos moore he turned down a multimillion dollar deal from Motown which would have made him among the reachest musicians african has ever seen. And who told you it was not prosperous, why would Paul Mcartney come to watch him perform if it was not properous. Pls read the book

He was posperous for the time but if you knew how much young boys are making now in music, you would know that his money was peanuts, I think physical cash he had at time of death was less than 1 million dollars and another 4 million in intellectual properties. Motown offered him a deal but he turned it down, the same deal nowadays are what Wizkid and Davido are signing with national and international brands. I maintain if Fela had the kind of money boys are making nowadays he would do more than Burna!

This is a tough one, in terms of most impactful striker, Drogba wins by a huge margin, the amount of game winning or game tying goals is untouchable, the height, the control, the headers. In terms of achievements, Eto'o by a wide margin, the guy was part of the Cameroonian dynasty team that gave Nigeria nightmares. Ultimately you're judged by your achivements hence Eto'o will be known as the greatest striker from Africa but Drogba is not too far behind!

Realstick941:
It all comes down to vanity and materialism,imagine someone you guys call fela talking like this. FELA never cared about money he has because he is always giving to the needy,the guy was always broke and has no interest in buying cars and bragging about

You a damn lie! He cared very much about money, if Fela's music was prosperous before his death and music industry was actually making good money, he would have bought jets filled with kush and married over 1000 wives. Let's stop this pretense that there is a man or woman born of African blood that does not like money.....IMPOSSIBLE!

So many mistakes, so many signs. There's no forgiving a cheating woman because what caused her to cheat is more complex than what causes men to cheat. It is emotional, it is a connection that transcends the physical. When you now add the 170k into the mix, did you ever query the source of the raise? Any woman that can convince you to move to a bigger place while still struggling, will never be good for you. In as much as the woman is to blame for most of the calamity, you also have to share blame as well. You were not your own man and clearly self confidence faded hence the physical and emotional abuse you suffered, Anyways life is a series of lessons, HOPE YOU LEARNT YOURS WELL WELL

When we calculate all the money you spent, it's probably less than 100k , what would someone that spent over 7 million and at the end of the day, the girl shouted, "who send you"? . Better thank God for the lesson and move on jeje!

ogbonti:
you are very correct about the bold part - However I listened to a mentor years ago who always emphasized through the years that in anything you do in life - "expect the worst while hoping for the best" - this principle dwarfs the serenity prayer

when you expect your lover to do his or her worst at any time - then your ability to[b] take control of your emotions becomes second nature to you![/b]

Yes I also live by that principle but once again, it only accounts for your emotions, what about the other person's emotions? How do you stop a partner from stabbing you or breaking bottles on your head? Like Mike Tyson said, "Everybody's got a plan until they get knocked in the jaw"