₦airaland Forum

lhordspy:
Read. Always learn to read. I tell you this always. Read before always rushing to comment nonsense. Dont let your bigotry and silliness always cloud your sense of reasoning when contributing to issues far above your understanding.

culf:
reality of life.

my friend told me back then some few years ago that where he was doing home lesson, the kids don't know their parent, the house help is mummy and daddy. the man works in another state while the mother is a career banker, lives very early and return very late.
we parents need to do more honestly.

NoToPile:
Best you can do is have a discourse with the particular child ( or children) you teach to help their mum and do house chores, etc that's all you can do. Only the ones you teach lesson oo. You have influence over the ones you teach,you can discipline them too if they do anyhow, also talk to them to do chores shikena.

Don't talk to the mum or dad about it, it's not within your job description.


That said lots of parents are raising spoilt brats nowadays if you talk too much you hear 'I don't want my kids to pass through what I passed through'

Children should be able to take the plates to the kitchen from a particular age, clean up their table from another age, wash plates ( even if it won't be clean) from certain ages, fold clothes, sweep, wash socks etc, as they grow they get used to these things.

There are age range chores for different ages but iro oo our Gen Z style of parenting will spoil children rotten, they will now grow up and be useless to them selves, their parents and society at large.

It's a time bomb it will explode right on our faces. Kaboooom!!!

obinna58:
You deserve a sack

Latty88:
Parents who are spoilt cannot instill discipline in their kids. You don’t give what you do not have

GboyegaD:
Was he hired to advice the parents? He should render the service he's paid for and not the "I too know" he's trying to do. He wants to teach a man how to handle his home, right? The word respect is very key and one needs understand it very well to avoid embarassing situations.

GboyegaD:
This is a case of pushing one's luck too far. You are hired to come teach and if you need help instill discipline in the children, do it. There is no need embarrassing the mother and having the effrontery to ask for their father so that you can talk sense into him. That is taking your luck too far. The mother might acknowledge her weakness and the father might find it embarrassing. If you can help, please do and if you cannot, let them be.

Rebelutionary:
You didn't lie bro! I know of a friend who did the lesson thing and had a similar experience where it is when he gets to the house that he will make the boy to brush and then arrange something to eat before he can teach him. Both parents are medical doctors and the husband abandoned the home because of all the issues from what my friend found out! The woman brings her loverboy to the house. The boy is left with his elder brother who can barely take care of himself too whenever the mother is on call!

Parents need to step up to their responsibilities...why have kids if you know you can't take care of them? This is the problem that is reflected in our society today. Disfunctional families churning out disfunctional misfits into the society and the unfortunate circle continues!

Look at the kind of softy kids we have today! Every challenge is a recipie for depression and suicide because they haven't been prepared for the realities of life!

Gudfadah:
Good evening nairaland.

I am a married man and I have six children. When I met with my first wife she was a single mother of 1 girl she was a years 6 months we got married when she was 5 years old.
We had 3 children together making them 4 unfortunately we lost her in 2016 during the birth of our twins.

Before she passed on she asks me to promise her that if anything happened to her I should never send her daughter back to her family to experience the same thing she went through in there hands.
I have promised her that the child is mine and she will never go anywhere the day she will leave my house will be on her wedding day.
I have also promised her that nothing will happen to her and we will grow old together. Unfortunately we lost her and I have continued being a father to all four children and I have never treated my step daughter differently.

I have since remarried and we are blessed with twins. When I met with my current wife I didn't tell her that my step daughter is not my biological child she knew she was my first child.
She has been a part of me ever since she was 1 plus and I didn't think it was necessary telling my wife she was not my child.

She was treating all four children good until my wicked aunty has spill the beans which I have apologised for not telling her in the first and I have asked her to continue being a good mother she was before knowing the truth.
But she refused saying I didn't tell the truth and the child should go and leave with her mom family. I have explained to her the reason why she cannot stay with them to no avail and I ask her not to tell the child the truth but she has told her.

It wasn't easy for her knowing the truth she asks me if I will take her back to her mom people I said no. She is still my child and she will not go anywhere and I will resolve the problem very soon.

Unfortunately my wife has totally changed so much toward the child and I hate coming home seeing her crying all the time. She feel insecure in the house knowing that she is not the biological child of the house.

Talking to my wife was to no avail she has insist that the child must go back to her mother family or they will be not peace.

I reported the problem to her people nothing was done and we are still dealing with the same thing everyday.

Honestly speaking I hate being in such a messy situation but I will not send her back to her mom family she is my first child and I have made a promise to my late wife that the day the child will leave my house it will be the day she will get married.
Since my wife want her to leave and the child is already depresses.
I have come to conclusion I will not divorce her but I will rent a 2 bedroom apartment for her to be staying with the twins while I continue staying with the four children in my house I owe the house.

I haven't told her anything about my decision yet and I want to know if getting her own house will help the situation. This is where I need your advice nairalanders what do I do in this situation?

Familyplug:
A 50-YEAR-OLD NIGERIAN WOMAN SHARES HER REGRETS ABOUT HER PARENTS SENDING HER ABROAD TO SCHOOL AS A TEENAGER.

I came to the UK in the 80s and went to Skinners school for girls in Stamford hill where I failed woefully. I come from a family where going abroad was like going to the market for us. I lived with my sister-in-law who I happened to have appeared to as a burden at the time. I had no one to take me out as a child, didn't enjoy McDonald's treats. I remember being bought KFC once by my mother's younger sister who was in the UK at the time. Most days I had to walk from Pembury estate, Hackney to Stamford hill because I had no transport fee. An uncle got me free school meals from the government so I always had lunch at school but other meals were not guaranteed...

No one ever asked me how I was doing in school even though I was a failure, never disclosed my report sheet because my results were always 'U- Unclassified' worse than F9. I lived at the expense of a few of my brother's friends who were ready to give me £5 in exchange for me seating on their laps whilst they used my nipples as a toy. On a few occasions, my immediate family would give me £5, £10 but NONE EVER TOOK ME ON AS HIS OR HER RESPONSIBILITY. One glorious day, a brother of mine took me on when he noticed that I have been associating with friends that were smoking and sexing at the age of 12 but due to malicious beating every day I had no choice other than to run away from his house. ....

I became streetwise, smoking heavily at the age of 11/12, and did my first abortion at the age of 14/15. I was unable to contact my mother because I had no access to the telephone moreover I didn't know how to use the phones then. I lived with a Jamaican friend who was a few years older than me and we had a man friend aged 50t who was impotent but would pay our rent whenever we allowed him to lick/suck us. Hhhhmmmm I'm sobbing as I'm writing this; I don't know why my spirit has led me to share this horrific and pathetic story but I am sure it is to bless someone out there so I am not ashamed of letting it out because someone outthere will think twice before making the mistake my family made.

I and friends began to find it easy to befriend men for money at night clubs (Gullivers, Petter Stringfellows, etc) at a very young age which I found disgusting, they molested my body orally. I can't even carry on expressing my bitter past experiences because I have learnt to see them as the strengths that made me who I am today...

The Koko of this post is this... Now in the UK, we see Nigerian children killing, shooting, stabbing, selling drugs, raping, etc and we wonder why they are ridiculing our darling country's name... Hhhhmmmm it is not the kids' fault it is the fault of the parents that weren't ready to prioritize their priorities.

I can't blame my mother and neither can I blame my father because they thought sending me abroad to school was the best for me. They also trusted my siblings and didn’t like to get involved in the way they were raising us. They believed when you give a goat to someone, you let go of the rope. They didn't know their darling daughter had become something else.....

You may be boosting that your child lives in London, America, etc but do you ever ask yourself how life is treating them where they are??

So many parents in Nigeria believe the field is greener on the other side forgetting that NO ONE CAN TRAIN YOUR KIDS THE WAY YOU CAN EXCEPT LOVING & GOD-FEARING PEOPLE.

In the UK so many Nigerian parents have misplaced their priorities, they rather work 24/7 and make all their monies to build mansions in Nigeria at the expense of their children's lives.

So many Nigerian parents in the UK don't even attend parents' evenings at their kid's school, some can't even help their kids with homework. Some believe their kids are at home and they are safe not knowing who is there with them. Some would rather spoil their kids with money & expensive outfits instead of investing quality time in them.

Sending your kids abroad to be looked after by someone else is a pure waste of time and bringing your kids from 9ja without giving them all the time needed is an irresponsible move and to be working all God-sent hours, making sterling, dollars, and euros, naira, etc without spending quality time with your kids is a disgrace to parenthood.

This is one of our bad irresponsible cultures even back home ….most children in Nigeria were brought up by housemaids/gatemen/next door/grandmothers/neighbors etc. Some Nigerians don't believe in family planning rather they will have so many children and start using them to hawk sweets, bread, etc after school...

Having a child is not by force, God did not say YOU MUST HAVE CHILDREN, YES HE STATED 'MULTIPLY' but he didn't mean we should do it to suffer for them. Having children does not mean you will live your life joyfully and it doesn't give you a place in heaven either, instead, your children may make you miss heaven if care is not taken.

I am a product of a neglected, nonchalant, cultural upbringing and I WILL NEVER WISH IT ON MY GREATEST ENEMY BECAUSE I HAD IT ROUGH AND IN SADNESS.

Let us stop being selfish and stop pushing our problems/burdens on others. Your child should be with you no matter how poor or rich you are and you must teach them in the ways of God.

Some parents in Nigeria, have children in Diaspora and know nothing about their life , only the fact that their child is abroad.

Proserpina:
Kayamata is just a libido enhancer not juju.

Okoroawusa:
Say it without crying

Sasi54:
Pls Mond I do not know where exactly to place this topic. pls do me a favour in placing it at the right place.

It a very good question. What do you fear the most in life? To me, not successful in life is like living in darkness all through your stay on Earth. It doesn't make any sense living to a very old age, yet with little or no success to show.

What made me come to this logical conclusion is as a result of my posting to one of the states in the north central region of the country. Men! those people are living in adjant and state of poverty, with so many children which they can hardly take care of. Honestly if you are poor you will be denied the joy of living in this world. When ever I am having discussion with them, I come to understand that this are not even border of the happing in the society. You wouldn't believe that when I asked who was the president of Nigeria, they were like who are you even talking about, I couldn't believe that people are still primitive even with all the modern age of the world.

CoronaVirusRelo:
If it’s not natural, how come you find homosexuality in animals

CanadaOrBust:
Son & Sons LTD



Meaning what? Does that make it natural or right? God destroyed whole cities because of it.
Divinely wired my ass!

immortalcrown:
Another one not by Igbo.

It is everywhere and we need to work together to end it. But misguided Nairalanders act as if it happens only in Igbo land. When crime news has Igbo name, the topic quickly makes front page and misguided commenters will passionately condemn the entire Igbo. It is even worse now as they use it to campaign against Obi.

Helpout12345:
All pretence will end from both parties. You will see each other in 3D.

You will be offended and re-offended. Your tolerance and forgiveness will be tested over and over again.

No marriage is perfect as no one is perfect.

If you marry for the wrong reason or married a wrong person, or if marriage is not for your type of person,
the marriage will be terrible.

If marriage is meant for you, you marry the right person for the right reasons, you have the compatibility, both of you truly love each other, finance is adequate for both of you, you will enjoy the marriage.

minks:
The Bible is the most inspiring book I've ever read. It is based primarily on the lives of God's people through history and preserved for us by God Himself.
From the stories of the lives of God's servants in the Bible, my favourite character is Joseph.
The story of Joseph inspires me to serve God in all circumstances and trust Him to bring His plan to pass in my life.

Who's your favourite Bible character and what have you learned from his/her life?

Blessedmercy8:
Someone raised this question in church last week being a family weekend in my denomination.
She asked if it's right for christian couple to do other sex styles apart from the "mummy and daddy " style and there were mixed reactions from the youth and some of our old school parents.

One elderly woman said, there's only one way to the door while some young mothers said if both parties agree then it's fine but I ( representing the youth) was of the opinion that it's a sin. This didn't go down well with some of our middle aged mommies until I backed it up with some points..

One of the mommies was like, since they are now married, they own their bodies and can do whatever they like with it but I countered her by asking if such styles glorify God.

I went on to ask where such styles were copied from... Pornography. This dirty styles were not in existence before now and was not practised by our forefathers; even if it was, it was probably during Sodom and Gomorrah and we all know God's take on their actions. Now bringing to our own time, these styles became popular when pornography took over the internet and most couples practicing it learnt it from pornographic contents ( which is a sin) probably during their worldly days and are now gradually bringing such practice into the church and trying to paint it nice by saying their bodies belong to each other therefore they can do anything.

Pornography where these styles emanated from is a sin and this makes the practice of such styles a sin as it doesn't give glory to God but the devil. As christians, I believe everything should be done in moderation and to the glory of God.

Remember, your body is the temple of the holy spirit. So, do not use worldly practices and fetishes to defile your bodies.

What you guys think?


Modified.

Ok guys, I see everyone trying to justify this act by saying it's not stated anywhere in the bible what styles couples should do but at the same time condeming the act of anal sex. What a double standard.

Now, if we are to go by your submissions, where is it stated in the bible that the VJ is the right entrance and not anal?

Were Adam and Eve taught where to use, going by your argument? No, they chose it themselves. So why kick against anal if I can't kick against different styles?

This shows that we all have a sense of right and wrong and should be able to do the right thing and not try to bend it to favor us when it's not convenient reason some can say anal sex is wrong and different styles is not right. Simple!

CorrectBizWoman:
Please who else is been sex starved at home. I can count how many times we've had sex since dis year. Always money money money all the time which is beginning to bother a lot more on greed. We're very comfortable. Solid investments, own the house we live in.

He don't cheat at least none that I know of and he's very free with his phone.

I'm tired of living this way... Any help guys? He's the last person you can seduce. It just don't work with him.

To think it's this same man loves sex like crazy even after our kids before this money talks, makes me wonder how people change so fast

Blessedmercy8:
It's only a matter of time before the ones on your street join them if we don't put a stop to this madness.

buckeyemedia:
Even Donald Trump was complaining about electoral fraud, one Joker is getting excited in the jungle of Nigeria.

They gave you so called BVAS, they will control the so called BVAS.

fergie001:
SOURCE

Ammmy:
It's not easy being a single lady without a job now o. The economic situation of this country is now that bad.

When a man meets a woman in Nigeria now, he starts asking her where she works, what she does for a living, especially those hungry guys looking for a woman to compliment their finances.

If u say u don't have a job, they stop talking to you, forgetting that someone who has no job may be financially okay.

When has it become a must for a woman to have something doing? Men are meant to take care of women and spend for them and not the other way round.

In those days, nobody cares if a woman earns money or not.

LewisHamilton15:
My parents travelled to Ghana so they discussed with my aunty that i will be living with her for the duration of the time they will spend in Ghana..she accepted and i moved.

Anytime i return from school my aunty would begin to insinuate. My aunty expects me to be doing dishes, sweeping and mopping. That wasn't my problem but any time i work she would outrightly condemn me and say i am lazy and

I reported the case to her husband and he talked to her but because of that, she sent me packing but husband is against. I'm thinking of managing with a friend.

LewisHamilton15:
My parents travelled to Ghana so they discussed with my aunty that i will be living with her for the duration of the time they will spend in Ghana..she accepted and i moved.

Anytime i return from school my aunty would begin to insinuate. My aunty expects me to be doing dishes, sweeping and mopping. That wasn't my problem but any time i work she would outrightly condemn me and say i am lazy and useless.


Tell your parent o before packing.

I reported the case to her husband and he talked to her but because of that, she sent me packing but husband is against. I'm thinking of managing with a friend.

LILTJAY:
obi should not waste his time here.. we don't want him

nlfpmod:
As shared by Twitter user, Naomi:



https://twitter.com/nayneenarh_/status/1594705095912046594

TOSIN AKINBO:


https://twitter.com/iTosinAkinbo/status/1594659450412998656?s=20&t=BXTQncb3HZLhXFfqY84Hwg

"The staffs in covenant university are raping the students
They'll set stupid rules and if the students should break it they'll sleep with them in exchange for their students hip
*studentship
A girl is in coma now She did an abortion for the head of the student disciplinary council
He got her pregnant and still expelled her
So many students there are being abused
It's a Christian university for crying out loud
Covenant university has hidden so many deaths
They've expelled students for trying to stand up for their right".

SmartyPants:
By now it is no news to any Nigerian sports fan, that Augustin Eguavoen and his entire team have been relieved of their duties at the helm of affairs of the Nigerian National team.

Most Nigerians are happy with this development, with some claiming that his immediate predecessor, Gernot Rohr would have delivered better results. However, a simple analysis of events will clearly demonstrate that Eguavoen did a fine enough job given the circumstances.

I will attempt to undertake this analysis by demonstrating, first that Eguavoen has a better record than one might realize, and secondly by comparing the performance of his Super Eagles with that of Afcon winners, Senegal, and runners-up Egypt.

When Gernot Rohr was sacked a few weeks to the Afcon, knowledgeable sportspersons decried the move, citing the difficulty any new coach would face in setting up the team to play to his own patterns. In analyzing Eguavoen, therefore, it must first be understood that the new boss was operating under extreme pressure, with little to no time to work with the players, play friendly games, and so forth. He was thrust immediately into the challenge of the Afcon and the subsequent challenge of world cup qualifying.

In this sense, Eguavoen eventually became a victim of his own success.

Few Nigerians, or football fans anywhere, would have expected Nigeria to defeat Egypt, talkless of the ease with which it was done. Egypt would go on to be the eventual tournament runners up, slaving out draw after draw. Interestingly, Senegal, the eventual winners, adopted a similar approach in getting to the final, barely managing 9 goals in open play in the entire tournament. For some perspective, vincent Aboubakar of Cameroun scored 8 goals on his own. This fact will be shown to be relevant subsequently.

For now, the point is that, after entering the tournament with very low expectations, coach Eguavoen immediately delighted and raised the expectations of Nigerians by leading the team to three successive wins, while playing some exciting football.

And then came the shock round-of-16 exit at the hands of Tunisia. The Tunisians had studied the Nigerian game plan which was rather simple: pass it to the wingers and let them dribble. The Tunisians set up defensively and effectively contained the threat of the most dangerous nigerian winger, Moses Simon, relying, themselves, on a largely ineffective strategy of counter-attacking.

On the whole, the game appeared set for extra time - barring the intervention of the sublime, or the ridiculous. As it turned out, it was a ridiculous error from fine-boy Maduka Okoye whose poor attempt at saving a speculative long-range drive led to the only goal of the game. This goal was also the first and only goal Nigeria conceded in open play at the Afcon.

I suspect most people would agree with me that there is not much a coach can do about a goal-keeping error. Except, perhaps, play another keeper. So Nigerians began to clamor for the changing of Maduka Okoye. Apparently, Francis Uzoho of some unmemorable club side in Cyprus, or Enyimba's second-choice goalkeeper, John Noble, would be much better options than the pretty boy who is on loan to Sparta Rotterdam from Watford. I admit I was one of those.

So began the qualifying playoff games. Nigerians were prepared to forget the Afcon failure since the prospect of the world cup loomed and Ghana surely would be dispatched easily. Pretty boy Maduka claimed to be ill, though, there are many of us who believe his malaise was/is merely one of discontentment at the abuse he suffered at the hands of irate Nigerians.

The not quite-as-pretty Francis Uzoho, then, to the satisfaction of most Nigerians, was left to reclaim the spot that was once his. It is important to point out that Francis Uzoho was once a highly rated goalkeeper plying his trade in the Spanish top flight.

Eguavoen's team went to Ghana, ostensibly, set up to play for a draw so as to leverage the home advantage in the return leg in Abuja. The game, an ugly 0 - 0 draw played out accordingly. Nigerians, who always expect to win, were disappointed and left grumbling. The coach should have used Ademola Lookman some said. Etebo should have started becasue Bonke was useless others chimed. Moses Simon should be dropped, yet another group chorused.

At the press conference before the game in Abuja, one sports journalist asked Moses Simon whether the coach should yeild to calls to play Ademola Lookman since he (Moses Simon) had been caged for since the Tunisia game. Eguavoen, appears, now, to have listened to all of these voices. In the second leg in Abuja, he dropped Moses Simon for the first time, starting new boy Ademola Lookman in his place, along with Ogenekaro Etebo in place of Innocent Bonke, and Dennis Emmanuel on the right flank. The court of public opinion had their way, and the results? Predictable.

Ademola Lookman looked unable to cope with the physicality of the opponents, and was ineffective. Etebo lacked match fitness and kept giving the ball away. He was also nowhere to be found when Thomas Partey of Ghana fired off a speculative shot from 5 yards out of the
Nigerian box. That Partey shot was eerily similar to the one Youssef Msakni scored just a few months earlier, to end Nigeria's world cup hopes.

The lanky Francis Uzoho couldn't get down early enough to save the tame shot that sqeezed it's way under his huge frame and into the corner of the net. Apparently, the problem wasn't Maduka's fine face after all. This time, though, unlike in Garoua two months ago, there was an immediate response. Ademola Lookman was brought down in the box and a penalty was awarded after a VAR review.

All the Super Eagles needed to do was score, and we expected that they would. After all the Ghanaians came to joke around right? Wrong! While Nigeria had the upper hand in terms of possession, there was simply no penetrative edge to it all. And so, the sorrow of Garoua became the agony of Abuja.

All of this is now water under the bridge.

Eguavoen and his team have all been sacked by Amaju Pinnick, the NFF don. Interestingly, Pinnick, who hired both Eguavoen and his predecessor Rohr, has now sacked both while he himself remains securely ensconced within the NFF seat of power. Logically, if all the people you hired failed to do a job well then at the very least, it is clear that you are not fit for the role of hiring people for that job. Amaju Pinnick, if he were honorable, should have resigned by now, for overseeing, arguably, the worst Nigerian footballing disaster of the past 20 years!

But that is now beside the point. The real question is, did Augustine Eguavoen really fail to deliver? Let's examine his record.

Of 6 competitive games, Eguvoen's eagles won 3, lost 1, and drew 2. That is a decent record at any level.

And it wasn't as though this team was playing slouches either. The one defeat came to Tunisia, who are going to the world cup after convincingly dispatching West African heavyweights, Mali. The two draws came in fiercely contested ties with arch-rivals Ghana.

This is a decent record for any coach. Much more so for one who has had as little time as Eguavoen has had while being under as much pressure as he has been, from the media and higher-ups in the NFF who have always tried to dictate tactics to him.

Now, to buttress the point, consider the good fortunes of Senegal. Like Nigeria, Senegal played out their world cup qualifying games with an overall draw, conceding once in Cairo, and scoring once in Dakar. Both times by way of an own goal. Their good fortune was winning the resultant penalty shootout. Senegal are also the current Afcon winners, but their displays were boring and intrepid throughout the tournament, relying on the same defense-first strategy Eguavoen employed in the world cup qualifying games.

Their performances were certainly not better than anything Nigeria played. And what of Afcon runners up Egypt? They played through extra-time 4 times, going to penalties 3 of those 4 occasions, and repeating that trend by going to penalties with Senegal in the world cup play offs.

Of the top African teams, objectively analyzed, it is clear that Nigeria under Eguavoen has not performed unexpectedly poorly. Gone are the days of struggling to draw or defeat relative minnows like Cape Verde, or conceding 4 goals in 2 minutes against the likes of Sierra Leone. Eguavoen was on the right path with the Eagles, and given the little time he has had, should have been allowed another year or two at the helm of affairs.

Today, unfortunately, thanks to the grandstanding of Amaju Pinnick and the ever so forgetful Nigerian media, his competent run at the helm of affairs will be wrongly remembered as a calamitous reign of sorrow.

DadaHammed:


We dey here. That means we are doing a good job.

Baba e ma lu'le sir.

Adekolaelect, ihordspy, e wa gbo nkan ti Baba yin so le enu!

SEYIKP:
I started with USA 94. When did you start watching world cup.