₦airaland Forum

NorthPrince:
so what is ur point now

maybe we should give you the gun so that you can go and use your mathematics formula on it

No. Maybe he is trying to point out that we Nigerians (like other Africans) tend to excessively overemphasize the "brawn" involved in this activity. He shows us that "Brains" are an equally important factor too.

The Military in Nigeria doesn't have the reputation for seeking gifted talents (Not saying brilliant people aren't there) but they tend to dwell on the "brawn".

denko:
Lets agree the previous Government stole $2.1billion. Today what has been looted and still being looted is over $84 billion dollars, just imagine the fraud in Covid 19 saga but because probably you are in payrol as BMC and your faculty of reason has been deleted and if even buhari bleep your mum/wife you will still sing his praise.

I'm Totally not in support of Buhari but your value is clearly funny. And it Nips at the Validity of your argument.
$84 BN is about N31 trillion @ 370 exchange rate.

Keep in mind that the National Budget for 2020 was about N10 trn. Essentially you're saying the President has looted an amount equal to the Nation's Budget for over 3 yrs.

XVIER:
I wonder how you guys eat venomous snakes. God4bid

To be fair though, You probably eat Chicken, goats, Pork etc. These are all animals. Now Who decides what animals are reasonably edible or not ? You?
That'll be unfair.

Anyone who eats any kind of animals has no right to say which animals are reasonable to consume.

N.b. I Don't and have never taken snakes.

humilitypays:
Audio gun boat, they should use it to confront Somalian Pirates and let's see if it won't be at bottom of the ocean

Pirates don't seek out gun boats. They typically aim at Ocean liners or tankers.

Kuns84:
You refer to our country as hellfire? How so

Hahahaha!
It's a figure of speech called Metaphor.
How so? really? it's not that hard to see. It's certainly not hell though.

FacelessKing:
Phone makers need to learn something; especially The trio: Tecno, Infinix and Itel....

No celebrity's face can make me (and some others like me) buy you.

Let your phone's credibility sell for you.

iPhone dey sell with only picture of apple, apple wey no even complete!!!

You may be the wrong one.

You see, Every company is working towards having a brand. Branding requires exposure. Exposure requires massive advert spend Or even annual Budgets for jingles & tv adverts.

Enter celebrity Endorsements. This takes many forms.
From product placements, banners at shows to callouts on social media handles. All these for a year or so the celeb can do at almost 0 cost.

Brand experts put high premiums on Celebrity endorsements not just because the celeb can influence purchases but because of the Buzz such endorsements create across major mainstream and social media platforms. E.g. Me and you talking about the brand now.

An equivalent Tv ad that would spark this kind of Nationwide buzz would be in the far millions (i.e. more than the endorsement).

Whether this buzz goes on to yield sales I cannot tell.
As a famous American businessman once said, Half of my advert cost are a waste but I don't know which half.

iLegendd:
If you know you have lots of responsibilities or will have lots of responsibilities, try to be a master at all cost — legally.

If you know you won't have any responsibility in life and all money you make is for you and you alone till the end of time, then be a slave.

Just be a master first and don't worry about others yet.

True. But what you're proposing is obvious isn't it?

What the Op is looking for is a solution. A practicable one. Not to be told why he is such a predicament.

ProfAmaben:
From what I've read, you are ashamed of doing what puts food on your table. Many are looking for your type of job to no avail. Remember to keep that I'm a polytechnic graduate nonsense by the corner. What makes you think that you are better or wiser than those who didn't go to school? I'm presently running a PhD programme and that doesn't stop me from hustling in any form, shape or scope. Hustle hard o, forget about girls now and hustle, keep building your resume with interesting skills while at this job, start dropping your upgraded resume like a mad man to any company you see, who knows when your luck would shine?
Some graduates in their skill section would put Microsoft word, excel , typing skills, I would just laugh. What happened to I can analyse data using python data science module such as Pandas and then visualization through matplotlib and Bokeh. This wouldn't even take you up to 2-4weeks to master. Upgrade yourself daily, read, read and read.
Can you save some cash and aquire basic shoe making and Pam slippers production machines? Or even attach yourself with a mechanic to learn motor repair or generator repair (Mikano)?
Gracias!

I get your points clearly but it's either those who say they know MS Excel very well don't know it Or you haven't defined what is to be known in 2 - 4 Weeks.

No one can sufficiently know Excel to an advanced level in 4 Weeks. Perhaps most don't even know what it means to know Excel.
Python's great . it also has a plethora of Data Analytics applications. But it seems that people who study python tend to denigrate tools like Excel impliedly.
This is funny. Technically (For Data Analytics) there's Nothing that can be done with python that Cannot be Excel.
And I say technically because I assume we set such factors as speed and convenience aside and just focus on results.

Darato:
RIp to him. Who is he and what do you mean by apologist?
If you have not read the book Atonement you are missing.
Contact me for resume writing, cover letter, LinkedIn optimization, read my signature and call me NOW

Apologetics or Apologists are Religious Scholars.

Usually the difference between these and Bible Scholars is that Apologetics draw from information outside the Bible to further the Gospel and explain insights & refute myths about Christendom.

bukatyne:
Instead of telling your husband to stop 'spending on his family', point him to projects he can spend money on.

E.g. 'My friend said there is one cheap land at Igbo Tutu' or 'how I wish we had our house, we wouldn't be bothered about Baba Mulika asking for rent every year' or 'there is one mutual funds that the entry is N200k and you get 15% returns per year. We can be paying Junior's fees from the interest'. You can also bring up investment for your kids etc.

You know what works with your husband so explore that. Also appreciate him for what he does so far.

@buying your land: I am not a fan of spouses buying stuffs behind each other so I will say deposit the money in mutual benefit/Chapel Hill/Piggybank for now while you try to make him see reason. I particularly don't like the fact you want only your name on the land; recipe for disaster as your husband is not hiding his own funds; he is just not spending it wisely.

You should also understand where your husband is coming from: in some cultures, the 'worth' of the first son/husband of the first daughter is their ability to fund everyone's lifestyle without complaint while their own immediate family suffers.

It is a recurring theme so you re-orientate him in love and harmony to see that his family can and will survive without his handouts.

Also note that if he goes 360 and stops funding his siblings, it can cause problems for you'all.

Under perfectly reasonable circumstances your brief is the perfect advice anyone can get.

However, Most of us most of the time behave in manners far from 'reasonable'. So people must be able to take stern steps to protect themselves from the outcome of a partner's unreasonable decisions.

Excessive appeal to emotions (in Marriage or not ) would usually lead to tears.

NaijaRoyalty:
Tinubu would say the same, but in a more creative way as a talented corrupt politician.

Tinubu wasn't unemployed.

He had a reasonably good job with Mobil prior to joining politics.

Africa. Africa. Africa!

We must attribute all our woes to The West.

Why?

As a sovereign country, you claim you have the Cure for COVID 19. Fine. Now go ahead and treat your sick citizens privately.

You don't need WHO. Do you?

I have heard more about the impediments to Madagascar's claimed cure to COVID than the actual treated patients.

femi4:
You lack depth

You're right. I actually meant to write that clean/portable water wouldn't kill anyone (actually thought I wrote that). good drinking water is also more easily discernable than a potentially bad wife.

Point being that drinking water is a necessity for life. Marrying (while important) isn't.


Thanks.

Cheers.

ValCon888:
Imagine getting laid off without the courtesy of saying bye-bye to your office mates.

Brutal.

So Sad. Your office mates are mostly not your family though. the ones you really need to say bye to you probably already have their numbers/addresses.

Others are just familiar strangers. especially if you work for a large firm like this.

FreeSpark1:
God will restore ur love and ur family.

How?

I find it very interesting when people make comments like,
I don't really ..... but then go ahead to do just that(in a condescending tone). then why say it?

Do you just want to feel higher?

I am really not offended as you saw in my last line to him.

Mypeople2:
Presently I am thinking of who to marry so that I will have peace of mind but the stories I read from Nairaland these days are something else .
Please I really want to plead, if you know you have been married for ten years and above , and your marriage is still very romantic, please kindly share your experiences and how you have been able to cope all through this period .The moderator will take your story to front page .Please do that for those still single

True.

But sorry to burst your bubble but even if they are to share their story with you it wouldn't be of much help to you.

There are no reusable templates in marriage.

God is the best solution.
Cheers.

Obingene:
I agree and disagree on some points.

Hahahaha!

Meaning you disagree.

That write up is really interesting. If the guy wasn't being funny then it's really sad.

seunlayi:
I don't reply quotes but for the fact that you are actually with me, I have to reply you.
I used the word 'our' which means a lot to we Christians - Godly way or worldly.

Yes, people change but the right choice from the beginning will help in difficult times.

Thanks.
But
Saying you don't reply quotes is a bit condescending.
Am I supposed to feel privileged about your response?

This is a social setting (a forum) that allows for back and forth exchange of opinions. people shouldn't have to feel privileged about your response.

Even if you don't answer replies and you decided to reply mine, you don't have to say it. especially since I never disrespected you. it's condescending.

Thanks for the response though. I appreciate.
Cheers.

NoToPile:
'even if God said that was the best partner for us'


Yes, God can tell us who to marry it doesn't mean life's challenges will be erased.

As for the bolded I honestly don't have an answer to that but the fact is there might not be just one ordained partner, a lot of people all over the world might fit into Gods purpose for the individuals life so anyone of them might just be the right partner and there's also free will, one can decide not to follow his instruction.

A lady can get proposed to by 3 men, physically they are all okay in attributes no major red flags from her own personal observation, then she decides to pray and she gets a response for the best fit, It doesn't mean the others are not worthy husbands but not just the best for her they might be to some others but not her also same for the men.

As for seeing it in the bible or not, Christians are to seek God in all our ways, marriage is not an exception.

Thanks but I don't think you answered my questions.

I appreciate your response though. And I too believe in God's guidance in life although I don't believe (I want to be wrong) that God instructs one on a specific person to marry.

Reference:
Yes, you can be told specifically the person to bond with. Marraige is the most important inter human relationship to God and He takes great interest and makes great involvement in it.

Just as information is available to the researcher, just as secrets are open to the loving so is God's involvement in such a decision. You can be close enough to be specific, a bit further away to be impressed and yet futher away in your relationship with God to be opportuned, i.e He causes such a person to come your way.

The worst thing a man can do is either not to know these things or deliberately ignore them. For the ability of man to know the future is almost nil and his ability to read the heart of his partner to be is impossible. Marraige is long enough and complex enough not to need help from above.

Note that I didn't say that We shouldn't seek God's guidance in marriage. I was clear in my point.

Also how come you can't point to an example where God told someone in the Bible a specific person to marry(save for Adam & Eve).

Or isn't the Bible made for our edification?

femi4:
Just because of one mismanagement up there. If water kill your child....will you stop drinking water

Your analogy is not consistent.

Water(clean/purified) would never kill anyone (drinking I mean). It's also much easier to examine water cleanliness than to assess a perfect partner.

Most marriages today are barely thriving. and that is a real cause for concern especially the fact that there's nothing you can do ALONE to guide against this. It takes 2.

NoToPile:
I am so sorry OP for what you had to go through may you find healing.


Things can go haywire in any marriage, one might have even married the best/right partner and things can still go wrong and it doesn't necessarily mean they didn't marry the right person.

I believe marriage requires lots of work and lots of prayers even if it was God that told us that partner is the best for us.

Does God specifically tell people who (the Person) to marry?
I know he acquiesces to people's proposal BUT does he really instruct who to marry?

How come we never saw this is in the Bible?

This is just an aside though but many people make this claim. The question now is if God specifically defines people to marry other people then those who have made wrong choices in life and then died, became really sick or mentally depraved have all "left" their God defined partners stranded. isn't it.

Or does God keep changing his mind— about 'the right partner' —when this happens.

Vyolet:
Everytime a woman leaves a poor man or reacts badly to him, the man always end up having a well paying job and the woman always want to come back...
Op, you forgot to write the part where she is willing to come back and live with you in Lekki .

You probably didn't read it well . in fact he never said the woman left him. he left.
Also he never wrote there that she is trying to make her way back to him, you assumed that. to that extent you are probably the one projecting the stereotype that does not exist here on this story.

Mind you I am not saying you're wrong. I am just saying that the conclusion you've reached didn't arise from the story above.

faithfull18:
Hmmn, this sounds like fiction. I don't support divorce but if adultery is involved with evidences, then separation is advised. Biblically, either partners are expected not to marry again but you know in our present world, we read and act upside down.

If this sounds like fiction then you may be a bit out of touch with realities of the current day. which is not a bad thing. But this is a very mild case. Others have it far worse.

seunlayi:


Marriage is cool, interesting and a blessing, it depends on our choice, it is not something you jump into without sweat like an ordinary union btw two members of opposite sex.

@Op, sorry that it took you too long to understand your proud wife, I thank God for helping you out of it all. Take care of your child and move on. As for your wife (if I were you) that is the end. I can bear 1000 men with evidence of sleeping with my wife before I met her than just one man that slept with her after I married her.
Take care of your new job, relax from your former relationship before starting another

Marriage does not ONLY depend on your choice.
It also depends equally on the choices and compromises of one's partner. Those who have it good believe they made a right choice. true. but that's just half of the equation. If your partner also fails to make those choices, actions and thoughts that make both of you a good pair you are finished. No Matter what you do.

Great men of God in history and currently have suffered the effect of Bad marriages.
Some may say they chose wrongly, but that's an after thought. Hindsight is always 20/20. I can "predict" the winner of the 2018 world Cup because it has happened.
Again, the point we all miss in all this is that people CHANGE.

You may live life never encountering what would make your partner change. But if you do, it's a Big disaster.

I've seen people change after 25 years.

When those who think they chose right talk. I remember Ecc. 9:11.

God help us.

Wizzarro:
we dont want them back the pulpit, we want pastors and Imams at isolation centres healing people

Christians were never promised a life of perpetual bliss on Earth. In fact John 16 v 33 points to the fact that Christians should expect Tribulations on earth.

No Pastor can assure/achieve a life of perpetual bliss for all Christians on earth. What Christians are assured of was Peace (Inner peace).

It's hard not to call this Corporate Kowtowing.

But then that's how you survive, Even as a multinational.

Emax911:
Fighting in familles in normal, but who created that video is A PUN, he/she shouldn't have done that, if there is no love in that family....... something should auto renew that love.

I don't know what you define as fighting but fighting is definitely not normal.

This world. The way things are becoming normal is really worrying.

TheKingIsHere:
I don't want to sound tribalistic but to be honest, most Yoruba boys now do this.

They sleep with ladies, impregnate tem then run.

I have several female friends and colleagues who are victims

Sad. But I hope you know that "most" means at least more than 50%.

So assuming there are 10 million Yoruba boys of "marriageable" status, then by your asserion, at least more than 5 million are guilty of this.

Some may think that I am being very petty by pointing out this unnecessary detail but in fact that's how petty /shallow it is for those Projecting this incident on a whole tribe — even though they can't give examples of 5000 men guilty of this to their knowledge.

Tribes don't ditch their offsprings, specific people do!

oyeb15:
yea but not private universities first-class. Infact, first-class get levels...
UI, OAU ,UNILAG and ILORIN first-class

State Universities First-class

Northern Universities First-class

Private Universities First-class.


First-class of private universities in Nigeria is equivalent to 2:2 or third class in university of Ibadan.

Moreover, its those 'Olodos' in the Universities that use to achieve quickly. My olodo mate in school have become Oga in FRSC when am still trying to do recruitment. Infact, he's d one serving us punishment.

Getting good job is connection and 'Ori'. My 2:1 has been self employed since 10years.

Hahahaha.

What about Havard/MIT first class (or the equivalent)? Are they better than the UI/OAU guys too?

To be fair, you are generally correct. Those guys are averagely better performing. However, here's where you're probably wrong. After school, the individual detaches from the collective. UI/OAU does not get/keep a job for you. you become literally on your own. At this point individual motivation becomes the driving force.

in fact OAU/UI may become more of a burden to you than a blessing — in a competitive environment since you are "supposed to have all the answers"— if others are seen to be better performing than you are.

Self motivation (people who are self starters) in life trump all others. Over the long run.

imustmakeit:
Is the regret so much that you can't learn the things you desire now?

I am not answering for her but I think I get the perspective.

Bill gates once said (to paraphrase) that ...Most people overestimate what they can achieve in a year BUT underestimate what they can achieve in 10 years.

It's not effective to regret but if you really understand what bill said above you then begin to appreciate the mastery level you'll be in if you had taken the decision to begin learning a particular field/subject — in a focused manner— 8/10 years ago.

Paul Randal (one of the world's top authorities in SQL) once said that expertise typically requires reading 100 pages of a subject daily. (hard right ?). true.

But even though you stuck to 20-25 pages a day. For the past 8-10 yrs. You probably would be amongst the World's top 1% in your field (barring other limitations).
That's why most of the world (myself included) consists of mediocres.

ModestGal:
Thats one of the mistake I made in my life and still regretting it till now. First class is a waste of time and thoughts. If you are connected, not an introvert, then you have a chance, if you are not, please I beg you, while in university, concentrate on things you can do that would bring you money and make you happy in life. Just make sure you don't go below second class upper.
Nigeria is a failed country.
I wish I did this when I was in the university, I was busy making sure I was doing well in academics, I also registered for a 4years Arabic course which I finished. I wish I knew my advisors were merely myopic, I wish I had concentrated my energy on learning TECH skills.
I wish I had used my school fees to purchase Tech equipment and learn the skills, some of us fall into the category of bad advice. I regret the day I saw my result and it was full of A's in 100level first semester, that was my motivation and every body started telling me I would made a first class up and down, and telling me not to relent. I wish I had relented, but I was stupid to keep pursuing nonsense

Doing well academically and tapping into proficiencies in IT skills doesn't have to be an either or situation. Both can still be achieved. Choosing may be a wrong notion.

With proper time management and an effective project based learning. IT skills are very much learnable in school. The problems are.

Time management &
Learning approaches.

Many students have done extremely well in school while learning these stuff. Others have had to drop out on schooling considering it a waste of time. But I think we don't always have to choose one.